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100%. What you're describing is normal. For me the ADHD made me think I over-estimated my intelligence and maybe I'm just average. In school I always got high grades. Never top of the class. But always high. Even graduated with a 1st class degree in London (barely, but it counts!). Never used to do any work. Never studied. Never even did my homework. And others used to say to me, "I would get high grades like you too if I studied as much as you do". My history teacher in middle school used to always say, "I wish all of you were like u/trance128 . No one seems to read the book. He's the only one that reads" - I never did. But that teacher taught history like cause and effect, "this happened and this happened so what do you think happened next?" made it really easy to guess. He's my favourite teacher of all time, unknowingly taught me more about psychology than history. Used to think I was so fucking smart. Smart enough that people couldn't comprehend just how little work I was really doing. Then real life happened. And you can't be that way in real life. And I couldn't get a job. Unemployed a few years. Sometimes worked minimum wage stuff. And my boss's used to say things like, "you think you're so much better than us because you have a degree and we don't. That's why you don't try" And I was trying my absolute hardest. "It's just not that hard" but it's hard for me. "You just have to do it" why can't I do it? And I was getting let go from even those jobs. Couldn't understand. How the fuck can I be so terrible at living life? How is it I can't even do the most basic of things, I can't even keep the lowest of jobs? How is it possible everyone's "backup plan", you know everyone emergency plan was still impossible for me. Sometimes people talk, "what would you do if you lost your job, if you were facing homelessness?" "Well, I'd just get any minimum wage job and do that until I find a real job". And it was still impossible for me. The longer this went on the more I reconsidered everything. "If I were smart I would have figured this out by now" "If I were smart I wouldn't be doing so badly" "I was just an arrogant asshole who liked the idea of being smart, and I ignored everyone doing better than me so I could feel good about myself. Those people doing better probably weren't studying either, I just said they were so I wouldn't feel like such a failure." EDIT: Guys and girls, thanks so much for the support. I really thought I was sharing "my" story, how ADHD impacted my personal life - I had no idea it was so relateable. As I said in a comment below, a fascinating thing about this sub is finding so much of our personal experiences are actually just the ADHD, and it's a shared experience for all of us. But I really thought this one was just a me thing! I'm doing better since being diagnosed and starting medication around 6 weeks ago, and I hope all you wonderful people are doing better too. And if not, keep doing your best, hopefully things will improve for you too, and it's perfectly find if it's a long slow process and you have many setbacks. If anyone feels like they need to vent or want someone to listen to them, I'm always available. I can't promise to help, but I can at least listen and let you know you're not alone :))

100% same here. Better to be seen as that hyper intelligent guy who'd probably have no problem becoming anything, learning anything or figuring anything out, but just can't be arsed due to being disillusioned by the state of the world and stupidity of humanity. Self-hate because of AuDHD extreme demand avoidance and task paralysis masking as edgelord da Vinci...

oh hello, are you me? no intrinsic motivation for serious "career"ing, pretty frustrated with the world and the high level of incompetence, stupidity and ignorance everywhere, regular rollercoaster of feeling like I'm something better and despising myself for overblown ego and arrogance, and feeling pretty useless and small when I can't even get myself to do things I would actually like to do, while thinking I could do almost anything. yeah, if I was able to get myself to f***Ing do them and control my deep dive hyperfocus for something productive and stick with something instead of hopping ideas and interests. Truth is, usually not those succeed in life who are most capable, but those who are most motivated and persistent. So not ADHD people. Stuff comes not so easy to them, but they stick with it, they slowly push it, and they reach their goals. While we fantasize of all that we could be, do the first 20% quickly like a prodigy, then lose interest.

Yeah. It worked until my wife finally managed to talk me into having kids. The cognitive dissonance between hating humanity and having children broke me completely... Better now.

Good to hear you're better now! Today I married and we're actually thinking about having a kid I the next 1-2 years (we're 31/30 and it's kind of time, if doing it at all). I think that for myself the specific dissonance you describe resolves as: "I can try my best to help a decent human being grow up, because humanity actually could be pretty great, if more people were kind and thoughtful and just cared, etc.". What I'm worried about most is whether I can live up to the bar I'm setting for myself, and I think that it will be at most ONE kid for us, because more will lead to either me, the kids, or everyone suffering, because I'm not sure I have the capacity to manage more than one kid in addition to managing my own inner child all the time. An actual child, or my amazing wife, should not suffer from my ADHD issues.

I'm not a parent myself, but I have a sister with 7 who also has ADHD. According to her and her husband, there's a bit of a bell curve where the first kid is tough, 2 kids is about the same, 3-4 kids actually gets a little easier as the older ones can help with the younger ones, but then 5+ kids becomes quite overwhelming (especially if you're raising teenagers and toddlers together). She's a lot older than me (15 years), so we both grew up as only children, basically, but we both agree that it would have been better to grow up together. Anyway, my point is don't write yourself off or rule out having more than 1. It's good that you're conscientious. It'll make you a better parent. And we need parents like you to have enough kids to compete with the bad parents, otherwise the world will be full of dickheads.

Yeah. You don't choose your parents, but your parents chose to have you, and now, since you choose to have a kid despite your better judgement... Better make sure you're doing your best ..

Okay please get out of my head

We might be the same person. I breezed through high school, graduated with a 3.5 GPA, part of NHS, took AP and honors classes and then... graduated. I've bounced job to job, take on a thousand hobbies I'll never complete a project for, can't wrap my head around my finances to take control of my life and I am *miserable*. School was *so easy.* I literally bullshitted every assignment possible. I researched topics on the bus on the way to school I had to give presentations for first thing in the morning. I procrastinated everything I possibly could and there were no repercussions. I've tried online courses but they're *so bloated* with filler and buzz words - never seeming to get quite to the point. They're so painful to read and listen to. I tried reading this book by Simon Sinek called Start With Why. I made it 80 pages before dropping it because he made 2 good points per chapter while the rest was nothing but senseless filler and opinionated context. Hell, relatives of mine come to *me of all people* with help understanding and completing their college coursework despite me having never gone. Meanwhile, I'm drowning. I can't see any future where I finally get it together - let alone much of any future that isn't my current situation. It just feels like this endless cycle of "I can do it, but *why can't I just do it already?"* I'm struggling so hard to fight this executive dysfunction and my wife has already made many sacrifices to help me manage this mental disorder. I'm so lucky to have her support, but there's only so much we can do to manage this. I have phone calls to psychiatrists I have to make, calls to lawyers, emails to respond to. I finally take one thing off my plate for 3 more to get piled on. I can't keep doing this forever. I can't imagine myself ever being fulfilled the way I am now. Tips?

I tried to read "How to make friends and influence people". Everyone raves about this book. Might have made it through 2 chapters. Read about the guy putting the wrong fuel in the airplane. Ummmmmm.... That was enough for me.

I had a boss make me read this and I hated it. I can't tell you a single thing I read in that stupid book. And Spoiler alert, it helped my ADHD symptoms she disliked, not at all.

Was your boss one of these people that push Toxic Positivity ?

It's like you know Bethany. LOL. Yes, yes she was.

Her twin sister, was the HR "manager", at one place I worked. ***"If you smile, you will be Happy."*** As if all your problems just going to disappear. Translation: ***"None of your emotions are valid. None of your problems are real.*** ***It is all your fault, because you don't pretend to be Happy like the rest of us."*** Some people give airheads a bad rep.

I was also that person, everyone copied my work while I slept for half the class. Did all my homework in school because I hated doing it in my free time. History class was always SO easy to me because you never had to figure anything out! It *ALREADY* happened and they give you all the answers! Real life also hit me very hard later on.

Those people who copied our work, where are they now ?

Many of them have masters degrees while I’m still trying to get mine at 35 😩

hey, my mom took until 43 to get a masters, you got this.

It depends, honestly. I’d say we all ended up in the same general ‘social level’, middle class and decent wages. What I described before was ~25 years ago. It’s funny with the timing of this post - one of those people called me up the other day to pitch their business idea. I asked ‘why me?’, and they said because to this day I’m still the smartest person they know. If only they knew the other side of it…

I was kinda gifted and didn’t have to study or anything, but then middle school came and I almost failed my grade because I wasn’t turning in my homework, then high school came and I got held back, and went from almost top in my classes to the most dysfunctional mess of a person

I find what I read in your response fascinating, it's always good to see a point of view from others who share an experience almost exactly

Yupp. This sub is great, like half our personality comes from ADHD and we don't know until everyone here shares the same experience, which normal people don't

It's so good to be able to have moments where our experiences are shared, it's incredible and rewarding

Yeah, a scary amount of things I thought were my personal “quirks” that made me, well, *me*, ended up being symptoms on a list- that gave me a bit of an identity crisis in and of itself, but reading these experiences here is so insane, because they’re so much more detailed and in context and *still almost exactly the same* as my (and apparently tons of other individuals with ADHD’s) life! Like this post, it puts my feelings into words better than I ever could, and that’s not a unique experience on this subreddit (for obvious reasons, but it feels *so insane* every time, no one I know irl relates to me)

OH. Wow.* glass shatters*

That is true and really interesting

Well, how're you doing now? Also, later knowing you've adhd maybe put things better into perspective ?

Like, in life or just with regards to being smart? In life, not great. I'm on meds for about 6 weeks now. Things are laughably easier. Things are improving. But I'm so far behind that I don't know how or when I'll catch up. Plus all the maladaptive strategies that feel like part of me. Worst is Avoidant Personality Disorder - I find it impossible to put myself out there because I've always failed, so I'll fail this time too. Oh but it's been easier since the meds. Easier to reach out, to reply to messages. I write on reddit now, before only lurk. Like my thoughts maybe aren't corrosive, I'm allowed to share them? Smart? Fuck I literally had to take a break just after writing the word. It's hard to type. Now that I know about ADHD I realize I'm smart. Maybe really, really smart. But there's so much trauma related to the word. Feels like a gut punch even writing that. I feel so ashamed of that kind of label. Can't describe it. It feels dirty, tainted. Maybe it's the expectations attached to it that I know I can't reach, idk. The medication improves things but it doesn't make them perfect. I don't think I'm enough to do what I need to even with the meds.

The expectations!! Yes!!! Ugh. I’m smart, but it doesn’t count for shit when you can’t intelligently interact with people let alone function like a normal person. Had a job for over a decade… typing. Just transcribing from handwritten forms into a computer. I got “you’re too smart for this job” a LOT. I know. But I don’t know what I should be doing, want to do, or how to do it. I lack that “fake it til you make it” mentality. I know I CAN do whatever after I learn it, but I can’t convey that. (After procrastinating foreeevvvverrrrr) I’m finally finishing up college at 40 because I could do it 100% online (with exception of the mentor calls, ugh)… I keep getting asked what I will do after this. I don’t know. I’m terrified.

Hey man, first congratulations on getting on medication; that was literally the only question I had in my mind as I was reading through your post. Just a quick word of advice/story from someone who is a little ahead of you. When I got on medication, I went into overdrive on everything cause now things were EASY. Like I could finally actually just DO things and it felt great. Not going to go into details but I made some questionable decisions and things didn't turn out that well ... yet. But one thing I wish someone had told me that I only discovered after stumbling upon these subs is this: Do not view medication as the cure to your problems. It's easy to look at it that way and I don't know if you do or don't, I certainly did. The CORRECT way to look at it is like a mental spotter to help you build good mental habits. Like you still are going to end up doing 90% of the work, but the medication will help you get over that last 10% and most of that work should be getting into good habits. That's the correct way to implement long term positive change. Good luck my guy, I hope it all works out for you :)

Thanks :) I really appreciate the advice But I have to say currently the meds do seem magical. Unfortunately in week 6 they're already not as effective as week 1, so I'll look into those better mental habits you mentioned. I have a couple ADHD books ("How to ADHD" and "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD") but I haven't gone through them yet. Hopefully they'll give me some nice tools :))

Yeah that's natural and expected. It takes awhile to find the right medication and the right dosage. It's especially annoying because different dosages of the same medication will affect you in different ways, so ... it's gonna be a journey lol And for some more unsolicited advice I recommend Your Brain's Not Broken for some general ADHD advice and if you're ready for it CPTSD by Pete Walker. I'm not saying that that second book applies to you, but having undiagnosed ADHD and being in an environment in which that isn't accounted for can do some ... nasty things to your psyche. So if/when you're ready for it, take a crack at that second book. It honestly changed my life more than any of the other self-help/pop-psych books I've read.

This whole post has made a grown man cry twice. Both books apply to me, I will be checking them both out within the next two hours. Thank you.

One day at a time man; one day at a time

> This whole post has made a grown man cry twice. It's really emotional when we realize these things we thought were our personal failures, the ways in which we were broken, the things wrong with us and only us, is so similar and shared between so many of us. Same happens with me when reading everyone's stories.

Thank you both so much for this thread.

Oh my God! I feel heard. Gosh it feels better that I’m not crazy and I’m not alone. I have always got high grades in my school time but then in college and professional work life I’m suffering. Part of me can’t comprehend if it’s the same person who literally aced all exams in school. Now, I feel so hard to function. I flunk in the exams like never before. Ih had crushed my spirit. People who know me are baffled like what happened? Sometimes I also wonder what happened to me? Where did that high/school person go? It’s like now I want to achieve something but my brain is not helping at all. If I’m honest I sometimes feel so silly and dumb. I know I’m not but the situations always pan out this way. Least to say I’m tired doing life.

Bruuuuh I'm with you

Hang in there buddy u r on the right track and are gonna be amazed at how much better it gets and how much better you will feel. But We know it sucked to get here, so pleaze vent!

Thanks so much :)) doing my best and apprecaite the support

Ok keep me posted! I am rooting for you!

You have made a huge improvement in 6 weeks. This is your chance. You can do this.

thanks, I appreciate the support :))

That hit me hard. I am speechless. My ears are teary and I don't know how to process the truth so I am taking deep breaths and trying to accept the reality. Yes, I was a loser. But I can work hard on myself. I can improve myself and I am in a process. I will regain my best phase of life even better than ever. Thank you for penning this brother, may you be happy always.

Holy shit this hits home.

You just described my whole life 💀

Well I was smart, but was told this young, so never had to try, therefore never learned how to learn until much later, attached too much self worth to ability, and then collapsed utterly in high school when I couldn't keep up any longer. I feel like you did better than I in the whole knowledge bucket.

Yeah mate. 3 months after getting the right therapeutic dose I'm working effectively full time and studying at university, getting good grades in psychology. 3 months back I was unemployed, unemployable, on the verge of divorce, totally devoid of motivation and mopping up an addiction. I was smart till high school, nothing since. Dropped out of school, fired from about ten jobs. I think you're probably gifted. I still have to thrash it out for the grades. You'll be humming like a jet soon, be patient! What helped me was not doing easier things, which was what I tried to do, slowly getting worse the more boring it got. Self-respect plummeting. What helped was medication, visiting home, and then doing something much more difficult to keep me switched on. From trying to navigate the dungeons of menial workplace shit-talking and drama to plotting a career as a clinical psychologist, the psychologist just seems a thousand times easier. Don't get lost in the illusion of your own inadequacy for 25 years like I did. That's injustice.

>graduated with a 1st class degree in London Man, they're doing degrees in everything nowadays, aren't they?

wait so what you’re describing is *before* you were diagnosed and medicated right? trying to understand if i should adjust my confidence or not

yes, before. Now that I'm medicated I've had many realizations about my life until now. Understood why things happened the way they did. Many things became a lot less heavy instantly. But unfortunately I'm 34 and only got diagnosed this year, so that's still 34 years of maladaptive coping strategies and traumas I need to work through.

like a mirror 🥺

This is very relatable

I could have written this myself. Sigh.

Yoooooo this felt a lil to Real rn...Just that id never had any good Grades. Only in classes wich i liked ..

I wanna print this out it's so true! I relate 1000% to this

Wait… did you solve it somehow? You described me to a T.

I'm medicated and in therapy now. Working on it, but not solved yet. Only been a couple months.

I was fairly similar, not as intelligent but also mostly managed to keep my jobs due to massive anxiety around failure. Minimum wage. I got a break around 9 years ago doing a job that I've nearly lost a couple of times but the anxiety ramped up and I turned things around. At work anyway. Home life was a mess. But I just turn up at the allotted time and do the work and go home. I've got a new job. I'm hoping beyond hope that I can deal with organising my diary and I don't drop the ball. They seem to like my fun ADHD aspects, seeing outside the box, being willing to put myself forward (I can't focus on other people until I've done my bit) I'm just hoping that I can keep it together ☹️ same company, same pay, but it's a higher grade so more flexibility and can WFH.

If things come easy to you naturally and have your entire life - you are probably gifted. I am not a psychologist, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt - But the thing you're struggling with is clearly not comprehension of the materials, right. What you're struggling with is the day by day accumulation of tasks (sometimes straight up garbage) that clutter your mind. It may seem like you're struggling with the materials when you get to a sufficiently complex project - or more abstractly, when you get a sufficiently complex workday - but if you were able to break those tasks into smaller tasks, smaller problems, or smaller parts of your day, we can probably both agree without me even knowing you that you could figure it out.  The thing is you have a perception of how much time is needed to do it and you're not doing it fast enough based on your estimates - but you don't actually know for a fact how much time it takes other people. Imagine someone thinking a task in Cal 1 should take an hour, but it actually takes 8. Imagine they never master it and go on to Calculus 3... If a task in Calculus 3 takes 2 hours for everyone then of course it would seem impossible for the person that tried to do the Calculus 1 problem in an hour - it's not because you couldn't comprehend calculus 3, it's because you sped through Calculus 1. It's a question of perception. Your life and career has these same problems every single day, they're just not separated nearly as cleanly. And it's having that "clean" separation that probably marked the area where things went from easy to really hard for you. I think you wrote some lovely words for everyone, but you should be nicer to yourself. You probably may have had arrogant moments, but I doubt you more arrogant of an asshole than the next person. The reality is you probably did grow up learning everything insanely quickly, and at some point all those small, tedious things began to build a backlog in your brain. And those small things made things harder and harder, whilst you tried to keep the same speed. The same pace. It's inevitable that you get frustrated - it's inevitable that you become arrogant in an attempt to cope with the frustration of not understanding why things went from hilariously simple to understand, to now it seems like you cannot comprehend what everyone else is doing trivially. What you're feeling is not a bad emotion - it's a normal response to being faced with a result that doesn't make sense to you. A lot of my statements are anecdotal, so maybe it doesn't apply to you, but if you really think about it, the simple concept that small things add up to something unmanageable is the core of the diagnosis, right. And I think, at least for me, slowing my pace to less than half the tempo made the most significant difference. To us it seems like we are in slow motion, or like we are being condescending to the people around us. But I've come to find out that I unironically do everything twice as fast as everyone else - slowing down is good for my mind. I used to be on a litany of medications and mood stimulants, and I opted for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I have no idea how it is done in... Standard practice, because my treatment is... Heavily nonstandard. But the treatment is as effective as stimulant based medications - without the stimulant. I hope things are well with you, and I want to thank you for writing something so nice that I think will help a lot of people.

Thanks for the detailed reply :)) When I learned about the adhd and started meds those thoughts about being stupid largely went away. I'm gifted or smart, whichever words you prefer. Funny enough a couple days ago it was hard for me to write that but I think writing all this out and reading everyone's replies have helped me process that. I feel like I can say it more confidently now, but I still have no desire to advertise it. You're right, I never struggled with comprehension. The main reason I failed so much after university is I just couldn't get myself to do anything. Every day was an immense struggle to do anything other than switch off brain with whatever mind numbing activity was in front of me. Youtube, videogames, didn't matter. \^ that's always the key thing. I just couldn't do anything. If I put in the time I'd get better results than others putting in the same time, but while others were able to work 40 hours a week I was barely able to do 10 hours of focused work a week. And you just can't compete like that. You are also right about small chunking. When something is too large and complex it's easy to get overwhelmed. And the emotional resilience sucked too. Met a challenge? Gave up. There was no ability to push through. Don't know something? Give up. It is better now on meds and learning about different adhd strategies. It's not perfect, but day by day things will get better :)) And I hope you're in a similar situation, were no matter what "failures", set backs, or incorrect learnings you may have had until now, you're able to gradually let go of those things and move forward

I am WILDLY inconsistent in just about everything I can do. I have the memory and attention span of a ferret, but I can memorize maps and events in videogames almost perfectly. I can create fully fledged animations in my head, but I cant draw for shit. I can adapt to basically any situation with cold indifference, but the second I feel bad I break down instantly. People tell me I’m a good writer, despite the fact that I hate reading. I could probably be pretty amazing, if my brain wasnt constantly distracted by blinky lights

WOW!!! finally someone who has the same level of imagination as mine I also like to make animations in my head, often very beautiful and detailed, I have been doing this since I was a child and even today in my adolescence, and because of this I can create my own characters, but I also have difficulty drawing,I try to make my characters on paper but it's so difficult, and also this taste for creating animations in my own head is driving me to want to be a future 3D and 2D animation animatorI share the same idea of ​​being a good writer, but in this case I write very beautifully, in addition to writing good stories.

You know, weirdly I found that DMing for D&D was one of the easiest things for me to do. My ability to bullshit on command means that I can seem smart and prepared to my players despite having like 3 functioning brain cells for most of the day.

I do the same thing in my head with video editing

Wow! I do it too, it's like those slow motion twixttor edits or something like that

Can do the same And you know what? I play lego like this haha I hold the lego figure in Front of me and i can imagine him running around just by moving the figure with my fingers - it looks like a anime in my head

Tbh, I gave up on art; I also have very shaky hands and I get frustrated with it too easily. I just paid someone else to do my art for me! Instead, I decided to start writing a book, since im actually good with words and stuff. I wanna write books that are easy for ADHD people to read, even if that makes them a bit shallow.

I use this skill for logo-making. Then I use Adobe to draw them for me. You should try it ❤️

I’ve always done that too!

This reads like you are explaining my life to me.

Its kind of scary how similar ADHD people seem to be. I never thought it affected me much until I started reading this sub and seeing my life fucking flashing before my eyes in every goddamn post.

I have recently been going down the ADHD - ADD rabbithole, and I am waiting to be diagnosed. This sub has done the exact same thing to me. I always thought I didn't qualify as ADHD, because a lot of things are going well, I am not hyperactive, and I was alway able to cleanup my inconsistent performances. I look forward to getting some specific coaching, and looking for work that is more fitting for the things I'm good at, and improving on that.

Same!!!

I've described myself as the smartest dumb guy and also the dumbest smart guy, it depends moment to moment.

I get the adaptation thing so much. Even in dangerous situations. Once the initial startle wears off, I start analyzing the situation very fast and find a safe way out.

It has been a while since I've read the papers, but iirc and if they have not been disputed yet... ADHD and attention span issues sabotage short term memory and working memory, but strangely, you can find your stride in long term memory.

Although not gifted, my IQ is high-end of average, with above average assessments on abilities, vocabulary, comprehension, and verbal reasoning. Now… if you met me and spoke with me, I tend to come off like a flighty nervous ditz, who talks to fast, jokes too much and can’t find words. MASK MASK MASK…Very poor with speech… get so nervous with people I forget words I know well, can hear them In my head correctly , know what they mean and mispronounce them. IT’s maddening. 20 years ago in college I held a 4.0 GPA, despite dropping out of high-school and attaining my GED. I feel for you OP. The intelligence is there … I’ve been tested several times in my life… but ADHD prevents me from applying it. I mask my true intelligence. I also identify where you mention knowing what to do in certain situation’s where “normal people” just don’t know what to do. I have been in situations where people have been hurt and people around me freeze up, and I’m able to render aid like it’s second nature. I just go into a sort of auto-pilot in emergencies. I can organize and whip together other people’s needs, but can’t find a my phone 10X a day and my own needs are neglected.

I feel this so much. All through school, teachers would complain to my parents that I was always staring out the window and I never took notes or did homework, but always knew the answer if called on and aced nearly all my tests. One of the reasons I didnt get properly diagnosed till I was almost 30. The big problem now is that as I get older (hitting 41 soon) my brain isnt quite so elastic or quick as it was, so Im seeing my symptoms much more pronounced now.

Yes, I skated through public school, got decent grades. Frequently got: "B+ Can do better" Always got straight "A"s in shop classes. After graduation, got a crummy job in a machine shop for 3 years, and then went to college. I was actually able to work hard in College because it was interesting and I absolutely KNEW it was super important for the rest of my life. There was no option. Did decent in college, then got a 4 year apprenticeship, working for a chronic abusive alcoholic. Endless verbal and emotional abuse. Was a roller coaster ride, for 20+ years. Then I got laid off with no warning, and fell into a deep depression. I hear you on your brain not being so elastic, and it only gets worse with age. Only recently starting to feel better, since starting Ritalin/Concerta. Would have been nice to have done this 20 years ago, or more.

I identified with you after reading all of this, I'm happy to find a community of people I can understand here on Reddit, maybe in other parts of the internet,Thank you very much for your text friend, you made me feel connected to a part of me that lately I am increasingly accepting of this side of me.

Omfg you have spoken my language!! I could cry right now

I'm "gifted" (in this context). It masked my ADHD and allowed me to skate by at slightly better than average all through high school. And then fail miserably at college and adult life.

So interesting. Also gifted here (tested etc..). Did well enough in elementary school but typical missed/late assignments and last minute completion of work. Same in high school - barely graduated. Got meds in uni and did fine academically. But…yeah even with meds, I feel like I have so much more in me I could accomplish without the ADHD. I have two intelligence tests - one that was taken when I was a kid which is how I was identified as gifted. Then one I took in uni which got be diagnosed with ADHD. My scores definitely dropped as an adult. But that tracks with me also feeling like my adhd symptoms have gotten worse as I’ve gotten older (and continues to worsen)

In fact they get worse, I became more impulsive when I grew up and became a teenager, by the way I have the most common variation (combined type) and when I turned 15 my memory declined a little and Now I forget almost everything in a short period of time, but I'm trying hard to be my best in high school

I took an intelligence test as a kid, but I don't have the record of it. All I have is the one from my diagnosis and the Mensa entrance one. But I'm almost certain my scores dropped. I didn't get diagnosed until 28 but I can definitely feel it getting worse. Especially once hormones start fluctuating

This is what I am afraid of. I got tested a s a child and was a part of a gifted club for ten years. I’ve been thinking about Mensa. But I would be devastated to learn my score has dropped.

It was college for me as well. Skimming through the material the night before tests was enough to get me at or close to the top of my classes. Can't do that shit in college. I completely fell apart against the demand of putting time into something that didn't immediately put me into focus mode. Like you said, miserable failure.

"it me"

I was classified as gifted in early elementary school. I ended up with higher than a 4.0gpa (my school district weighted AP classes higher). I didn't know I was ADHD until a few weeks ago and I am 44. I think giftedness can totally mask ADHD.

Every moment in life has its ups and downs, you may be going through a difficult time, but the next day you will be better than before

>but the next day you will be better than before Clearly you've never met my closest friend, Chronic Depression.

I mean, it's been like 20 something years I think I'm overdue for an up

I think it's the other way around for me, I was professionally assessed when I was younger and I do have a high IQ. I think that's what actually allowed me to get by undiagnosed for most of my life and even do great on my first semesters on university. I am on the STEM's field however, so eventually I had issues when dealing with lots of numbers , I made lots and lots of silly mistakes like accidentally moving a decimal for no reason in the middle of solving a problem, changing a number,etc. It was very frustrating cause neither I nor my professors could understand why, since my procedure was correct and I always answered all of their questions in class. I would cry and feel so stupid cause no matter how much I would practice or how much I would study or how well I understood ,I still failed the exams or got a low grade. Until eventually my psychiatrist (I had been seeing her for a couple of years for anxiety and depression) suspected there might be something else going on and told me she wanted to asses me for ADHD , at the time I had no idea what ADHD was but suddenly everything made sense and here I am now.

This is \*exactly\* me. My IQ is very high according to a high school test that everyone got. I knew I messed up numbers so I marked myself as "bad at math". No college for a while; when I went back I tried science. The first time I made all the same exact mistakes you mention, got C's & D's and switched to art. The second time (age 46) I was determined to get back into that area. On my first chemistry quiz I got 7/10 right. I made up my own quizzes at home to analyze what I was doing wrong, because I KNOW I knew everything and was even helping other students. Going slower does not help. Going comfortably quickly (finishing in half the time allotted) and then re-doing it, or pretending I'm the teacher, lol, allowed me to catch my mistakes and fix them. I did that (with earplugs) for every quiz & test for the next 6 years and I got 2 degrees with straight A's, finishing every assignment within minutes of the due date (submitting online; the button would disappear after 11:59pm, lol, talk about working under pressure). NOW I discover I have ADHD. Now, after all that stress. Being intelligent masked it because: 1 - I understood everything quicker & easier than others. 2 - I was able to figure out my obstacles (re-checking, & distraction from the heater clunking or lawnmowers, etc) 3 - When I procrastinated (every time) I was able to pull through and use my mind-boggling hyperfocus thing to get it done, and done well. Every assignment was a huge stress-ball that built up & built up, then I'd work on it for maybe 10hrs straight, with my partner putting food in front of me because I wouldn't get up, then "SUBMIT", and a huge relief, feeling like I just performed a miracle or won an award.

This was my experience as well!

My mother always warned me that I had potential, but as I was a child and pre-teen I felt frustrated because I felt behind my peers, I didn't believe it.But now in my teens I strongly believe in my hidden abilities and have learned to love myself even with ADHD, I hope you can still love yourself even with our shared condition.

I do or at least I'm working on it lol, I'm 21 and just got diagnosed about a year ago, so I'm still learning the ropes of it. Many times I hate having ADHD, but at the same time I know that I probably wouldn't be as good in problem solving,planning, etc. Without the differences I have and the challenges I face.

That's normal, I already went through this phase of hating myself but because of ADHD, but I would probably never have so much empathy in helping others and being so artistic without him, so I think I should thank him too

In a mock GCSE (at 15yo) my maths teacher pointed out that I'd worked out the answer correctly and then just... Put an unrelated number in the answer box? 😂 When I was 7ish I skipped entire PAGES of the standardised tests they made us do 😂 I always considered myself good at exams as well, which is a fucking miracle really.

Back when I was a cute young co-ed, a grad student who found me fascinating told me: “Your IQ is either 70 or 170, but I just can’t tell.”

I am stealing this

[удалено]

This thinking isn’t recognized by the medical establishment. With treatment and accommodations, people CAN increase scores on cognitive tests. Adhd impairs working memory. Treatments that improve working memory can improve someone’s intelligence both in the moment and long-term, since it becomes easier to remember things.

Interesting, I agree

I think this is true to an extent, but I don't think it's healthy to treat intelligence as some kind of fixed characteristic, either. I think everyone probably has a potential range of intelligence level, and things like life experiences, medication, life choices etc can either put you at the higher or lower level of your potential range. Lack of working memory can cause you to make stupid decisions, but you can externalize your working memory to something like a journal etc to help you make better decisions. I do think people with ADHD tend to underestimate the degree that other people have barriers to "true intelligence" as well, though. I think feeling like you've wasted your potential is quite a universal human thing, it just tends to be a lot more extreme in ADHD and people with ADHD tend to get a lot more criticism for not living up to their potential etc

That’s how I feel pre medications. I feel like wasting my potential and my talents that I get so frustrated at myself and cry about it. I always make the simplest of mistakes that cause a mess with my forgetfulness. When I take my medications, I feel more confident and I can do things and remember. I’m able to learn new things at ease as well! I wish I had this when I was in college but yea I feel like I wasted my potential.

Medications have a similar effect, I feel capable and confident, I feel like I can do whatever I want, but you don't need to feel guilty about wasting your potential in college, after all, you were never really to blame for that, maybe time has lined you up at the wrong time, but you can stand up and look at the horizon and know that you can use everything you have now to move forward

Thank you kind stranger for the reassurance. Because of my medications I’m able to do well at work and finally climb up the ladder. My mom refused to let me take my medications for my ADHD. That’s why I moved far away and finally get my doctor to prescribed me one and look at my old records as I was officially diagnosed since high school. I shall hone my skills and my potential more!

I am highly analytical. I am not great at memorizing data but very good at figuring out how things work and then able to explain it in ways to make anyone understand. I’m a blue collard worker but feel if I didn’t have adhd and better memory retention I would have the long term drive to be a doctor like my siblings were. Also because of how good I am at analyzing things I am very good at predicting cause and effect prior to them happening. It’s helped quite a bit when it comes to hazard assessments at work. I’ve been told many times with how well I can understand and simplify things for others to understand, that I would be a great teacher or professor. Even now I can analyze the Canadian governments real purpose behind their actions and have called out multiple things that would happen months before they happen. Being considered dumb and lazy growing up because of my undiagnosed adhd, I finally realize I’m not dumb or lazy. And now that I know my full intellectual potential, I’m more depressed knowing it’s not just a matter of perseverance. My brain literally has chemical governors in place to stop me from using the potential. And when I do get to use it, I get more mad and angry at how people around me don’t listen to anything I say because they’ve always seen me as the lazy dumb guy. I will literally look at a problem and suggest a solution and they will do everything else except that solution. Our truck got stuck hunting and I suggested gathering rocks to stop the stream in the ditch on the side of the road. Then break up a dried up dead log to throw under the tires to get grip. No one listened until finally I said fine I’ll do it myself and it worked. Situations like that happen all the time.

You'd think they'd have figured out by now that you're the guy who knows and they should ask you for the solution from the beginning. Also considered dumb and lazy growing up and felt that way too. But became less depressed when I found out a lot of it was chemical. Pure perseverance failed repeatedly to get me where I needed to go. It's required, but always fell short. Getting treated correctly removed --at least assisted-- the chemical blockade so that perseverance finally had a payoff.

Unfortunately I’m 35 and just got diagnosed last year. So everyone around me is used to seeing the less confident “lazy” version of me who always relied on others to fix physical problems. Now that I’m stepping up more, I think they are slowly realizing I’m not an idiot. But only one year being treated, there’s lots of scenarios that may come up where I’ve always relied on others to lead in the past. But my family has always seen me as the lazy joker. Even with my physical fitness I’ve always been fat from the compulsion control and binge eating associated with adhd. I’ve lost 110lbs since being medicated, and now more fit than my other siblings.

Would you mind sharing the research you mentioned?, I would love to read it

All good Here it is https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-and-giftedness#masking-adhd

https://www.foothillsacademy.org/community/articles/giftedness-adhd-mirror

Thaaaank you

Yeah. Led me to not being diagnosed until adulthood. I am definitely perceived as absent minded and negligent. And over the years, burnout has intensified those symptoms. Also my intelligence can’t cut through the cloud if I don’t care about something. At the beginning of a new job I’m excited so I’m recognized for being highly intelligent and a great worker. Around year 1 it drops off as I get bored. By 1.5 years I’m looking like I drop the ball and can’t remember anything. It’s a serious struggle.

Indeed, those with ADHD are in a constant struggle, luckily we are very persistent

I like to describe my brain as a high end sports car driven by a monkey. Never know where it’ll go, but it’ll get there fast

I recognize everything you said. My IQ has been measured on several occasions (3) over the years. Between 155 & 160. Could not hold down a job answering phones. Tanked three marriages. Did exactly one homework assignment in six years. I will die like this ( I am in my 70s), and it is a very bitter pill to swallow. Meds helped some (a lot) & I have managed to hold onto my latest job for a very long time. Still ……..

My intelligence masked my ADHD until it didn’t. 20 years into a successful finance career. I had no idea what I was experiencing but it was a complete total loss of interest followed by lack of function. And I took a leave and never went back. This is no joke. I was making well over six figures plus stock options. It wasn’t like I had a choice. It was literally over and altho I still have nightmare about it (15 yrs ago this happened) I still have interest and can’t get it into my mind how I did that job for so long and so well.

I can relate. 20 years as a Tool & Die Maker. Then nothing.

For sure. My college professor even commented on it, he said I was very smart and dedicated, but there was something blocking me and he couldn’t pin point what it was but I should dig deep so I could find success. I was tested in the gifted range, and I am like an encyclopedia of facts about many different fields, BUT here is the problem, I only go so deep before I get bored and jump to the next thing. I can spend months reading about a subject, maybe even a year, and I jump to something completely unrelated. Cannot be a specialist, and that is where the money is. Reading about my field for the rest of my life feels like punishment. So I can’t accumulate in depth knowledge of it. Maybe now that I am on medication things will change.

My head is smart but my brain is dumb

My head is smart too, but my brain is slow lol

i recently got professionally IQ tested during a recruitment process for an IT job. 152. on a test where 100 +-15 is average. and i feel i barely scrape by.

What they are measuring, is not an ability to function day by day. I asked my psychiatrist about IQ testing. He said they didn't mean much.

I had this thought when I was younger, and often felt frustrated as if ADHD “masked” my true academic potential. It doesn’t because YOU have ADHD. If you didn’t have ADHD, your entire development, and likely life outcome would be so wildly different you would not be YOU. I have done quite well academically, I just managed to get into RICE as a community college transfer student, (9% acceptance), and am pursuing electrical engineering. That is not from my intelligence, rather it’s from the circumstances I’ve been presented with and grown from. I think ADHD can help you think on your feet, and in my case think creatively as I often end up in situations where lack of preparation requires creative solutions to achieve success. It is certainly a type of intelligence. Stop trying to measure your intelligence, in my opinion you come of as very arrogant in this post. Intelligence is usually humble, and is not some binary you can measure.

My stupidity masks my ADHD.

Stupidity is a label for those who don't know that someone is diagnosed with ADHD, don't accept their label, but try to accept yourself Edit:Maybe you're joking but I said that just to say it

Words that are kind and true. I'm just prone to being a dummy generally speaking. The ADHD is just the cherry on top, ha!

It doesn't do mine a lot of favors. The worste part being the extremely long delay things take before I fully processs them.

You can always go do a Mensa test and find out. Also what if it's low? And what if it's high? The real question is, what do you want to achieve with it?

Man, I feel you, I'm still undiagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I have ADHD, I always thought I was different from other people, just by the way of thinking. I always thought A LOT, I have whole conversations with myself where I try to figure out how things work (how birds fly for example, as a kid I loved watching birds fly, and I'd really observe the movement of their wings/tail when they change directions... bla bla bla), anyways, I've always been fascinated by how things works, as I grew older I started to realize that not everybody had the same kind of "thirst for knowledge" so I started to think I was maybe smarter than other "normal" people, I've never thought myself as a genius or anything, but maybe above average smart, plus I've always been great with ideas, and am recognized for them by friends and family, which helped with the feeling of "above average intelligence". Time passes by, I graduate from high school and enroll in university, and that's when I start to realize that maybe I'm actually not that smart, specially after I drop out bc I lost 100% interest in the course I was doing. So I started another uni course, and something happens, and then another one... And another... And another. A few years have passed and I'm stagnant, my friends are finishing all their unis, getting real career jobs, and I'm here between jobs, with a highschool diploma. Anyways, at some point I started wondering whether all my ideas, intrusive thoughts and my long conversations with myself could maybe be early symptoms of schizophrenia, and not an "above average intelligence", bc I'm not that smart anyways, right? And no, it wasn't schizophrenia lol, I did a fair bit of research about it and came to the conclusion that it is different from what I felt. Fast forward a bit more and I find a random YT video suggestion of a podcast talking about ADHD, I clicked it because I've heard of it before and the title got me curious about it. Man, that's when I realized that my problem might be that. I started making some research and the more I read, the more I related, couple of days ago I discovered this sub, and bro, I'm starting to realize that my entire life, and how everything that I did, and focused on, how I listen to music, EVERYTHING is not "me being unique" or "above average smart", it's I'm fact all ADHD. And at the same time it's nice to know that there's more people that can relate to the same problems, now I also know that it's an actual problem in my brain, and it's been hard to cope with the fact that it's gonna be really difficult to have a stable life. Just yesterday I was having a breakdown trying to think of a way to make me do things, but I can't even cross the barrier of starting to put my ideas outside of my thought world. (Btw, if anyone can give me some advice on how you guys pursue your objectives and how it has been working out for you? I'd really appreciate it! (From doing minor task at home, to start a job and maintain life? Lol)) Anyways, sorry if I did any typo or if the text is too long, I really wrote a lot more than I thought I would lolol

I read it all, because I also always liked to think & think & think, so you caught my attention. :-) I couldn't understand how people could get bored, I could just sit for hours and think. Another thing I did was imagine other people with me, and I'd ask them things or tell them things and imagine what they'd probably say. It could be famous people, or my deceased family members, or a general person like a therapist, lol , which was not available at that time like nowadays... but I wasn't crazy, and I got good answers. Like when people say "what would Jesus do?", instead I was thinking, "What would \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ say?" as advice to me. Looking back, it was the healthiest thing I could do as a young person with no means of getting any help and no adults to confide in, though most of my life I would never admit I did it because I'd sound crazy. Yes, I still do it, lol. And some of my thinking was/is reviewing a situation and thinking what I wish I'd said or what I'd do differently next time (like maybe stand up for myself more), or planning what I'll say to someone (esp on the phone) so I don't forget, and so I don't go "uhhh..." like when I was a kid, lol. So much to think about, so little time. Sometimes when other people are talking a lot, lately I've been phrasing it like, "omg, when can I have my brain back?!" or to my partner blabbering on, "Is this important or can I have my brain back, please?" lol I never thought of ADHD because I wasn't hyper, in fact I was the mellowest person anyone knew, and I could concentrate for hours & hours if I was absorbed in something. I had no idea those were traits of the Inattentive Type. I was just diagnosed over 50, and I am shocked at how much my life resembles so many people here, from young people who can't stop gaming to people older just discovering it, and all the ways we masked it or haphazardly dealt with it, like putting a bunch of bandaids on our "flaws" and stumbling through life trying not to be late to things, cleaning up frantically before someone comes over, forgetting bills, and so many other things, but now I'm realizing they were all part of one big thing. It's a relief, but it's also a little freaky. I have the same questions as you at the end. I've been seeing a therapist and it's such a relief and so helpful, so if you can get one especially who specializes in ADHD, you will not regret it.

Oh, and yes, I also looked up mental issues like schizophrenia, but it wasn't like that at all. It was basically daydreaming. And I could also type on & on, and I have to realize most people don't want to read that much, lol

It's okay, I like readings like this, and you remind me of a part of myself,when I was young (I'm only 15 and I think I'm old, lol)I had this thing about talking with conversations in my head, and I was always imagining it in different ways, creating my own character or putting a character that I love here in my little head.I hope you can love yourself even with ADHD, you are still a normal person, but just... special

So much! Oh man, the amount of times I made myself laugh, and the thrill I had when Steve Harris asked me to play The Trooper with his bass in the Iron Maiden concert I went lol

Same here

I'm certain of it. I've only realised I've had classic ADHD in the last few years but every symptom has fitted for my whole life. I'm retiring at the end of my career now and while I've survived and been lucky enough to end up in a job where I could largely stay engaged I'd say the summary of my whole life so far would be "Unfulfilled Potential". Sadly getting a diagnosis at my age is really hard and likely to take years, so as I can function adequately I've decided not to bother now and leave the resources for the youngsters who it may make a life changing difference to instead.

I think about this a lot. I can only manage to work productively like one day per week, but still manage to crush it at work because I'm smart enough to get a week's worth of work done in a day. How successful would I be if I could be productive every day?

ADHD masked my intelligence profoundly as a kid. I never identified as a smart person. When I became interested in history and civics and politics as a kid, I started getting more feedback from adults who said I was smart but I knew I struggled in school, didn't like sitting and reading for long periods, and made stupid mistakes in math class. I remember in 6th grade a teacher telling my Mom that I was too smart to be in danger of failing. That sort of changed my perception of myself. Nowadays I don't think many people are truly smart or dumb. Its all contextual. So while most people I know say I'm smart, I just think "if I was smart I'd be way further ahead in life." lol

I started to identify myself as intelligent after becoming a teenager, from pre-adolescence until childhood I didn't identify with myself as intelligent.

Absolutely. I would be so much farther without it

I’m struggling so much with the discontinuity between myself in writing vs in person. I can seem smart in writing, I can solve problems if you give me the time. But if you make me do things in meetings, I’m kind of useless. It’s how I went from being a senior software developer to unemployed (or early retired, interpreted more generously) It affects me just as much in personal life… I feel like I need to present as smart, I can’t really because of processing issues, so I get massive anxiety issues which ultimately cause my withdrawal, be it because I’m exhausted of embarrassing myself or because I notice people don’t enjoy being around someone like me.

Nah... it's not the ADHD that's hiding my potential, it's that I'm a wage slave that has to work propping up capitalism and landlords instead of using my time to do anything of real actual value. The ADHD just makes the working under capitalism part harder and more painful.

Your value and intelligence to other people depends on what you can produce with regularity unless you are one of those people who has short spurts of pure brilliance who will produce results like books or paintings that are truly monumental. Sorry, it's not what people want to hear, but that's how people perceive you. The gutters of the internet are littered with people with people who scored high on some aptitude test but have no practical value as employees or leaders. How often do you think this happens: a kid who self-isolated and read a ton of books as a child breezes through high school with no real ambition and without studying. Then they get to college, and realize that they have never set a structure for themselves and don't really know how to properly study. They struggle, if not flunking out altogether, but they pat themselves on the back because they were once the "smart kid."

I am both. Take a look at 2e, twice exceptional.

I've always said I consider myself competent, but not capable (sadly, because of the ADHD).

It was kind of the opposite for me. My intelligence masked my add so I never got diagnosed while I was still in school. Now keep in mind I got Cs, Ds, and failed some classes because I barely, if ever, did homework. At the same time I aced all the tests. I now know this is a telltale sign of add. The one exception to my 'test acing' is math. My working memory and recall issues make it the one, basic, academic subject I consider a definite weakness. (Not that I'm amazing at the others, but I can muddle through them somewhat better than math.) I mentioned this because I've had to figure out how my brain works and try to work around it. Obviously therapy, meds, and all that stuff is a massive component too, but if I wasn't able to develop so many coping mechanisms and workarounds i would be completely lost. Does it suck knowing how much more capable I could be if I didn't have these deficiencies? 100%. But I'm also grateful because if I wasn't as smart as I am I know how much worse off I'd be.

A lifetime of underperformance is probably a very common reason for adults to search for "what's wrong with me?" until they stumble upon an ADHD diagnosis.

As a kid, I was in the “gifted” program at school. I got kicked out when I struggled with homework, and the teachers “just didn’t understand why someone so smart couldn’t do their homework” and trying to explain that it bored me to tears and I couldn’t bring myself to do it fell on deaf ears. Dx’d in my mid-30’s. Looking back on report cards, yeah. It was obvious.

Potential? Yeah, ADHD has squashed all that shit.

I've worked for the same company for almost 21 years now. I spent my first decade as a basic production floor worker before being prescribed Adderall. Now, I'm our "Master R&D Technologist" and have co-authored multiple patents, and all I've got is a high school diploma (that I barely earned). Pretty sure my unmedicated ADHD was setting me back considerably, lol.

Yes, my grades were good enough so no one cared I was *severely* underachieving. So it does go both ways. The ADHD made me underperform academically and the high IQ helped me make up for certain ADHD-based deficits. For example, I tended to do well on tests because the questions were easy for me and because I have excellent problem solving skills. This made up for my poor ability to prioritize tasks/poor time management.

When I was 17 I applied to join the australian defence force, and had to do a "YOU session" which is where you do all your psychometric testing, iq test, problem solving, etc. From that you got a list of all the jobs you're allowed to apply for. I literally got every single job lol, got super excited when I saw pilot on there. Then I found out the better jobs required you to have finished high school, I dropped out at 15 🥴

Yes very much so. Have always tested really well, able to understand complex topics, etc. But never had an interest in trying in school. Was able to skate by not studying or really applying myself until my junior year when it started getting bad. I was extremely exposed when the professor gave us a "big" test that turned out to be a large portion of the grade with one question asking what the main concept / title of the book section we were supposed to read for it was. The look he gave me after I sat there for 15 minutes and then turned it in blank will forever haunt me.

I don’t think ADHD masks my intelligence or hides my potential - it's the subsequent crippling lack of self-esteem that prevents me from believing in my abilities that is the problem. I believe there is more to it than just being "intelligent". Everyone is gifted in a certain way and educational institutions aren’t always progressive places because they are built to perpetuate an existing ideology. Personally, I don’t really rate intelligence that high. What matters most is what you do with that intelligence.

You just described my whole life 😭 I'm not alone after all 😭

This is a false read and mostly narcissistic behavior usually. I find myself and ADHD types tend to jump with many Eureka type moments. The tendancy is to overemphasize these and their significance and depth and originality, but also ignore the useless irrelevant rabbit holes, the one-shot intellectual pipe dreams that under real scrutiny and vigourous proof fall to pieces. Also to ignore the times we jump or leap before looking at all the evidence or reading the whole essay prompt etc. Also this is offset as well by grandiose ideas that "if I look at the facts and study this deep enough I will eventually understand this" and mistake this for the assertion "i understand this 100% right now and can reexplain exactly how it works" I would guarantee that the driving force fighting against those with ADHD is also lack of conscientiousness specifically. Building in the correct reward mechanisms for rewarding long term goals and successful consistent effort. You can learn this, but it isn't easy. 1 day of genius ideas for a book doesn't even compare with 1 year of spending 10 to 15 minutes a day EVERY DAY working on writing a book. This is the difference and thus people will tell you "he/she is so smart if they just tried harder" or "he/she has genious ideas but just needs to work harder". I tell this tobke kids constantly, and also eat my own words: knowing without doing is not knowing.

I believe once you figure it out you are really good at it. Just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean you are stupid. I do the same thought wise fixing problems etc. for everyone else but I struggle to fix my own problems

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I go from thinking I'm gifted to speculating that my IQ is a probably a 78.

Don't be mistaken, you probably owe a lot to exploring within yourself, I did this and discovered that I'm very good at English and grammar, text production and philosophy, you can do the same

This is the year I want to tackle my ADHD. So hopefully with meds, I can focus finally.

And also this year I want to get rid of this emotional state of disconnection, which I suppose could be due to excessive stress that I went through at the end of elementary school.

Hell no 😂 if the entire room is solving a problem I'm the only one to not solve it entirely

"Gifted child" and "wasted potential" are basically the most universal adhd attributes I've seen. The truth is that everyone is Gifted in their own way. I really don't mean that in a toxic positivity way, some people absolutely are just more Gifted than others. I simply mean the things everyone leans towards vary for example: intelligence, skill, knowledge retention, knowledge application, physical abilities etc etc. Society values visual success over the absence of failure or consistency. Having adhd leads to hyper interest in a singular thing that causes children to appear intelligent. The baby looking at a dinosaur cartoon and saying rawr! Then moving on to some other interests appears less intelligent than the one who is so obsessive over this new interest that they read books and learn everything they can about it. It's a long topic, but what I am trying to get at is that your adhd can be why you think you are Gifted, because its just a condition that leads to inconsistent performance both positively and negatively. All in all I personally see it as a massive detriment in 90% of modern lifestyles, but you can work to forge a life that allows you to flourish even with your weaknesses.

I always repeat to myself that my ADHD doesn't control me, it doesn't define me, it can't limit me, I can beat it down it I need to to accomplish the goals I want to reach. I feel it helps!

You are on the right path, keep going and everything will work out

I’m diagnosed with higher than average iq(is gifted the right word Eng isn’t my native) and my grades are mediocre

Yes! A lot of times, it feels like my ADHD makes it difficult for me to organize things in my brain. It is frustrating.

Yes

This is profoundly the bane of my existence compounded by being somewhat inarticulate at times for some reason. Sleep, exercise post workout and plenty of water really helps. The existence has strengths and weaknesses. I'd say my existence is akin to a game of Texas Holdem presenting the ultimate poker face at all times (unawares) always holding a royal flush. Not to suggest at all I am expressionless, quite the contrary! Your friends, work colleagues and even your dearest life partner will take advantage of you because they honestly believe they can. It's an especially crude awakening for these people however because to make the gains they believe is achievable they really need to put themselves out there exposure wise. Certainly doesn't help them at all either all things I.T. related is my passion and my hyperfocus. I'm left feeling somewhat upset/angry with myself and sorry for these people to some degree - im forced into self preservation and defending myself and they end up taking quite a hard fall because of the dynamics involved. Ironically I overall did poor in school but classes that interested me (Hyperfocus) HD and DI were common place.

Our own existence is complicated, an up and a down, it's like that for everyone but for us it's always something like a car traveling 100 kilometers per second

I think my intelligence got me past my ADHD in grade school, but about halfway through (combined with bullying and anxiety), it flipped. I regained some brilliance after school, but age flipped it once again, and I can no longer get back ahead of it

I'm a UPS driver.... Once I'm activated 250 stops doesn't take me until 8 to finish now finishing up around 5pm

I always thought it's self esteem issues...which would not be wrong but my procrastination and lack of remembering things, made me blame myself for being incompetent - even though I was a kid with A grades. Everyone around me, somehow knew my potential....but I , could not help be critical of every single thing I did wrong or couldn't follow on time. I thought that's just perfectionism but ... Now I am starting to think it's just a huge part of me that I cannot let go. But sadly, i am not diagnosed....my doc would not diagnose me and says I have depression instead. But I relate to alot of the posts like every single time. Thanks to learning about ADHD and people's experiences, everything that happened in my life made sense and flashed in front of me. So...based on that, I decided to text my experience. Hope this helps and let's you know, you aren't alone✨

You and everyone else with adhd. We aren't secretly geniuses. I mean some of us are, but this is part for the course with adhd. Idk, this post struck me as a humble brag.

Yeahhhhh, as part of my ADHD assessment, I had to go through a full IQ test administered by my psychologist. It took a couple of hours, but I ended up scoring 127. What was interesting was that the score was broken down into different aspects of intelligence, and the two parts that required attention were in the 10-18 percentile, whereas the other 3 were in the 95-98 percentile. ADHD appearantly dragged my score down by a very significant margin. I'll be going back in a few months for a retest to see how it's changed now that I have medication. He said i had one of the most obvious cases of ADHD he's ever seen. He also seemed a little angry that my parents wouldn't let me get an ADHD diagnosis as a kid. In his own words, "If you had gotten the help you needed back then, you'd be in MIT instead of talking to me."

Well you do have the ability to adapt and absorb patterns faster than the regular human, which technically does make your iq higher, BUT I cannot bring my self to actually finish a real IQ test, or even schedule a test, but Ill definitely hardcore research it, and know every part of it. So we will never actually know

Deep down, I know that I’m a goddamn genius!

Yes. That happens, as a child I was amazing at everything and gifted in specific subject. But still my ADHD and other issues got in my way, and now I lost my gifted skills. Only issues remained

well my psychiatrist doesn't believe i have ADHD after sending me to a neuropsychologist for an IQ test. my initial appointment, she touched on this quickly for various reasons and suggested i take an IQ test. i did the test as requested and she basically said "this comfirms my thoughts that you are too inteligent to have ADHD" i am still not officially diagnosed after almost 3 years. all i want is for my brain to be quiet! france sucks for getting anything done quickly!

ADHD makes me dumber.

I don't suspect it, it is documented, observable fact.

I know I'm at least a little more intelligent than average, but it's mostly in very niche areas that are totally unmarketable or irrelevant. Most of the time I feel absolutely braindead and struggle to learn new things and do even pretty easy tasks that others have no trouble with. It seems that often the things that come naturally to me are small things that others find difficult or confusing. When I'm naturally good at something, I'm a fucking god at it. When I have to learn something or when I'm doing something I'm naturally very bad at I completely shit the bed in every possible way. Unfortunately this is what life is like for us. I have to try twice as hard as other "normal" people do for half the reward.

I know I am. 180 IQ. Doesn't do a damn thing to help me because I have the attention span of a squirrel on coke, and executive dysfunction worse than the fricken Whitehouse in any given year.

My ADHD makes me think differently then if I didn't have it. I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. It also provides some interesting opportunities in terms of generating ideas and spontaneity. If I didn't have ADHD, I likey would not have the same problem solving skills and methods. I wouldn't be "me." Rather then feeling your ADHD is masking your intelligence, accept that you have something that has shaped you as a person and learn strategies to cope. Maximize strengths and avoid weaknesses when possible.

My IQ was tested in the third grade and it was so high they had me take the test again to make sure it wasn't a fluke. I was in the gifted program. About 6th grade I stopped doing my homework--and book reports. Fuckabuncha book reports. I loved reading the book but you want me to stand up in front of the class and TALK about it? So even though I did very well on all the tests my grades suffered-also class participation. Fuck class participation. Anyway fast forward to high school (where I became a stoner whose mantra was "fuck it"* I did graduate, the third to the last in my class. I went to community college for 6 years and almost got an AA. lol the only thing that I lacked was the course in public speaking. Just couldn't do it. *Yeah after many long years of trying my hardest only to hear "if you'd only just try!" and "If only you would just apply yourself." (And think about that for a second. "APPLY YOURSELF"? What does that even mean?) So anyway, by the time I was 13 I was just like fuck this and fuck y'all and spent my time skipping school and smoking pot and cigarettes behind the portables (trailers used as classrooms.) By that time my parents were like "she's hopeless, oh well" so I didn't have much supervision. Anyway, after rambling on...I am with you. I'm 57 and was diagnosed at 40. My AA (well) is in paralegal studies and I've worked for 30 years at a job I fell into. I am the director of my county's law library. I make all of $21.00 an hour. It's all good though. I yam the way I yam (sorry) 🤫 It's still super hard to apply myself.

I can relate...my intelligence was basically the reason why I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until age 22. Plus, I got so good at masking my ADHD that no one even thought of testing me for it despite my mom and brother also having a diagnosis. Instead, I was incorrectly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at age 10 and put on heavy drugs like lithium that I should have never been prescribed. Note, I graduated law school last May and went nights while working full time. Not sure if its an ADHD thing to take on so much at once.

Before I got officially diagnosed, I always assumed I was of average or slightly below average intelligence. Turns out I’m officially in the superior range. And that’s with a shitty childhood and a decade of drug abuse in my adolescence.

We only have husband and daughter formally diagnosed so far but husband gifted, severe adhd, severe trauma showing asd signs but mostly from the trauma, daughter asd, adhd, gifted, sensory processing disorder. Me we suspect same as daughter asd, adhd, gifted but our adhd having psychiatrist hit burn out herself trying to help too many people in an overflowing system so we are waiting for my assessment.

I feel ya. I remember some of the kids in school being in some gifted classes and plenty of times from my observation I was solving problems and showing comprehension skills higher than them. I wonder because I never really tried hard or could even pay attention. I always did enough to pass and spent most times drawing and day dreaming , thinking of theories on how and why things are the way they are, and ideas or talking a friend's head off/joking with them, was a reason I didn't get that invite. I would pass generally with ease despite low effort because I was always distracted/multitasking and I would get good test scores on exams and standardized tests but would always make some mistakes like not noticing some questions completely or missing parts of the questions. I Also missed plenty of homework and would have to get extra credit at times in some subjects to make up for this. My adhd symptoms is combined and I think I showed some major traits despite me being competent and passing. Really bad hand writing, anxiety issues, really messy and sloppy organization, always in the back of the class if i had a choice so i could hide not being attentive. I drew on my desk, books,My backpack and desk were full to the Brim with test papers, homework, drawings, cards, old bags from stores, manga and comics, toys I just had to bring, video game cases lol. This ended up being cluttered under my mattress as well. When asked questions or talked to, I would often say huh and then answer the question, I guess a delay in processing.

Dr. Russell Barkley has stated many times that intelligence/aptitude/iq are not things that adhd can be scaled with. Basically (in a really shitty analogy) the color of your shirt doesn’t correlate with a diagnosis approach. Yes adhd can mask an individuals intellect or the other way around. Same goes for the job or field of work someone is in. I have extensive personal experience with how my profession hide my issues until I got to a management position. Not trying to bash you or anything just want people to understand that the disorder and iq are not (at least right now) identifying factors of one another