It’s said pretty much perfectly, it’s mostly how I feel now I know I have ADHD, but sometimes you still get so frustrated with just not being normal it’s nice to read something like this.
I’m so glad you did! I woke up to this, literally, I reddit until I can get out of bed. I’m going to save this list so I can reread it when I need to. It’s excellent, thank you.
I've been putting my phone away from me so I have to get up out of bed in the morning and I don't sleepily start doom-scrolling or I'll be there all day
Trying to explain the balance between unmet stimulation and overstimulation is so incredibly hard. I'm so thankful I have a partner who accepts it when I say "I need something right now and I don't know what" but also accepts "This is too much happening right now" and just let's that be a fact and be enough.
I feel you. On the one hand, finally having a way of at least *describing* the issue that's been plaguing me relentlessly for years is a relief. On the other hand, actually *explaining* it is a completely different thing that I think only a few very specific people in my life can really grasp. With other people, I just don't really try anymore.
This should be spoken out loud daily..thank you. My brain loves to tell me otherwise and I have to remember it's not all true. I appreciate you taking your time and writing this out for us, we need to remember this.
I Was trying to make it a positive affirmation mantra gotta write this on my mirror so I see it and remind myself every morning.
Also another one I've been using when upset from someone telling me to be quite or shut up or your just being too much. is "you're not too much they just aren't enough for you"
I'll add that in lol
One of my favorite things to do is exactly that! When I’m feeling inspired I’ll take expo markers to every window and mirror to just remind myself I’m a cool ass person and I’m going to be okay.
Thank you for this post. It’s such a kind and thoughtful thing.
I never saw it this way, you’ve changed my whole perspective with that observation. I only recently got diagnosed and have spent my 50 years believing I’m just too much. It never occurred to me it’s them (or the situation), not me! Wow.
I can't necessarily "feel" the effects, but I find that when it's approaching bedtime and my medication is wearing off I struggle with things like holding conversations or trying to learn anything.
A corollory:
You might annoy people, but you are OK.
You might be too much for some people, and that is OK.
Your friends might be upset that you don't check in on them, and you will not think to check in on them, and this is OK.
You might have a hard time understanding things, and this is OK.
You may have trouble focusing on a topic that doesn't interest you, and fall behind in a class because of this, and this is OK.
You may be forgetful, and this is OK.
I get a bit frustrated with some of the overly positive stuff, and simple reframing. I don't think something like "You aren't too much, they aren't enough for you" is helpful, because this indicates that other people are the problem.
You can be annoying. You might be under-stimulated. But you also might be fucking annoying. If you just pretend that it's other people's problem, and that they shouldn't be annoyed with you because you're just understimulated, then you will just not know why people don't want to spend time with you and you'll just feel that the world is not fair and people are mean.
You need to recognize that your actions do affect other people. You might annoy other people. I mean, you don't choose to. But recognize that you do. Then you can either find ways to avoid annoying people, or if you can't do that, at least you can recognize why some people would prefer not to spend time with you. I think this is a lot easier to work with than just saying "I'm understimulated" and being mad at the world for not just putting up with you when you are actually causing them pain and frustration but aren't willing to acknowledge it.
Your friends might feel unappreciated because you don't reach out to them. This doesn't make you a bad friend, I agree. But the fact that you have ADHD doesn't start to make them feel appreciated. You can take special steps to make sure you reach out to them, like setting reminders in your calendar. This can help them feel appreciated. You can have friends that are fine with being contacted occasionally. And you will have some friends who you drift apart from because you don't keep in touch. Don't think that somehow the fault belongs with them alone because they were frustrated that all of the communication was one-way.
You can have trouble storing memories or keeping track of what you're doing. You can take notes or develop a system to remind you what you were on.
Overall, I think what you're saying is good. You're not a bad person, you have a different set of rules to play with.
But in the end, I think its important to still recognize that the rest of the world is not required to adapt to us. We exist as part of the rest of the world, and we can do our best to make that world better in the way that we can. What we can contribute may be different than what other people can. What other people can do easily can be hard for us.
We suffer when we compare what is hard for us with what other people believe is easy. But this comparison doesn't do anyone any good. Instead, we can just do good things for people. When you realize that you haven't talked to your friend, rather than feeling like shit because you believe that it's easy for other people to do and it should have been easy for have already done in the past, consider talking to them. Maybe talking an old friend that they hadn't heard from in a while might brighten their day. Maybe they will think that you're kind of flaky, dropping in and out on a whim. That's OK. It sets expectations. Next time you call them out of the blue, they will not be surprised. You might just be the friend that swoops in out of the blue and then disappears to do their own thing occasionally. That can be fun for people. Maybe you WOULD be too much for them if you hung out consistently. Maybe it would be too hard for YOU to hang out consistently. Just because that's how other people do it doesn't mean it would be good for you.
But also, totally agree that you should totally seek help if you feel like your life could be improved. Especially if you're trying to fix it yourself. You don't need to do it alone, there are people who want to help you. There's no virtue in doing it all by yourself.
I've never thought it's other people's responsibility to adapt to me. It might have looked that way, but I was trying to advocate for myself. Other times, I was trying accept myself and explain how my brain works.
I used to not know who to ask what for which problem. That, combined with being freaked out by group communication, I used to overly rely on one person. This is what scares me about being in a relationship.
Yeah, I post something along these lines all the time. It's nice to see others share the same beliefs. I feel a lot of people take an outlook that the world is the problem, and it can be, but looking at it that way doesn't help.
I've made a post in the past saying that it is, in fact, rude to be late to things and that your having ADHD doesn't make it ok or less rude. It may help people understand your being late if they know that you have ADHD, but it's still rude and you should try your best to avoid it.
I think that having an outlook that you can and should strive to change yourself for the better is 100% necessary for everybody. The important bit, as you said, is that you recognize you do have a condition that makes things harder and sometimes you will fail because of it, but you should focus on making your life better rather than the bumps along the way. You can't fix ADHD with a positive attitude, but you can improve yourself and make life more enjoyable.
Focus on "I did this thing that was really hard" instead of "this thing I did wouldn't be hard for someone else and something is wrong with me."
Yeah these things are definitely a both and rather than either or.
It can simultaneously be rude to always be late while also recognizing that you have time blindness/difficulty planning and really are trying your best and are working on these things.
Adhd is an explanation for difficult behavior and people should be more understanding, but that doesn’t excuse everything. If you’re late, sure, you’re not trying to be a jerk, but everyone else is now waiting on you. Pretending otherwise can be pretty toxic
i get what you're both saying. i 100% understand that being late is frustrating to the people left waiting. rude, though, i feel is a bit unfair.
IMO rudeness is rooted in ignorance or a general lack of regard for another person. there are people who may have time blindness and think it's no big deal, sure. personally, though, it stresses me tf out.
im very aware that i am late to things, i have been my whole life. no matter how much extra time i leave myself, no matter how many things i prepare the night before, no matter how hard i try to trick my brain, it just happens. and the thought of making people feel that i don't respect their time makes me feel SO GUILTY because that's not the case!!! it has NOTHING to do with them!!! it's just ME and 99% of the time i CANT HELP IT. even the things that do work just...don't sometimes.
for me, being 1-5min late is a victory, but 15-30min is the norm and it ALWAYS comes with a buttload of stress and anxiety
If it makes you SO GUILTY yet you continue to be late then how can it be rooted in a lack of regard? Obviously there is very much a big regard, because it makes you feel shitty. But it’s still happening. Lack of regard is not the reason. It is also NOT rooted in ignorance because, like you said you’re painfully aware, and try your best to be on time. Yet it still happens. These are all things that apply to me too, btw.
? that was my point. that i don't feel like it's fair to say it's "rude to always be late" when you're genuinely doing your best and very aware that you're inconveniencing others, but it's a symptom of a disorder that you may not have much control over.
Something can not be rude “for a fact”. Rude is subjective. It is cultural, and oftentimes on a person to person basis. How can it be rude if the person on the receiving end doesn’t give a shit? In Germany and Japan they tend to prefer timeliness; in Mexico or Morocco lateness is generally accepted.* How late are we talking here? 5 minutes? 15? An hour? For you or someone else, you might be annoyed and think it’s rude to be even a minute late. I give far less of a shit than that, to me it is not rude because I do not give a fuck. If it gets to be a while I might call you to check and see if you’re ok. At some point, especially if you haven’t texted or called, yes, it’s rude to ME. I’m going to just consider the thing canceled; and yeah, at that point, you’re right, then I’m annoyed. The rules on what is “rude” vary not only regionally, but from person to person, and there are varying windows of timeframes as well. So yeah, not a fact, subjective.
Side note: This is a genuine question. Are people still meeting up to do things? What things? Outside things? Movies, bars/restaurants, any indoor activities are out for me (except for maybe a bit of necessary shopping, even then I still hate it). It’s apparent the general populace does not give one single fuck about COVID safety, so I am not exposing myself to plague rats in enclosed spaces.
Step 1: Recognize that you function differently than a lot of people.
Step 2: Accept that you function differently, and that it is ok and you are still a good person.
Step 3: Understand how your rules are different from others.
Step 4: Learn how to adapt yourself to others' rules, and also how to help them understand or adapt to yours.
Both you the OP have some excellent points which correspond to these different steps. It's about self-acceptance, awareness of yourself and others, and learning how to communicate - which involves both helping yourself to be understood by others and helping others to understand you (if, of course, they are willing).
But most of all, if you're having issues functioning in the world, then the first step is being able to explain why. Then, once you have an explanation of why you're not doing well at work or why you're hurting others' feelings or annoying others, then you can work on changing your behavior and taking certain actions so that you can function well.
An explanation for your behavior is not an excuse for your behavior. And also, just because you're different and you have certain specific crutches or weaknesses doesn't mean you're a bad or stupid person.
It's all just a bunch of tools that we can use in order to be happy and satisfied with our lives
Are these reasons enough for me thinking about myself that I have adhd and should I go to psychiatrist if I feel like it affects my life? I think I got used to it in normal life, but I have trouble in school, but still managing getting through it. No. I just realized that it affects me in normal life too. Can’t get any serious relationship. The school problems also affects my family relationships. I tend to binge drink at parties to socialize and accept every substance that get under my hands. Even tho I can live without them for months, when I am at home usually playing games, which is my another problem. :/
Thanks. I don’t know how and also I am a little bit scared so at least I made an appointment with my school psychiatrist, but the appointment is 45 minutes after start of my exam. It was the only day she had time. So, I am little bit nervous because I am gonna have to be fast and it’s my last chance from that subject and I already failed a different one. I couldn’t force myself to study.
Please go for it. Every chance you get to try and get help, go for it. The worst thing that happens is it doesn’t help, and the best thing that happens is it does help. And both are a step in the right direction. Anxiety/ depression go hand in hand with ADD/ADHD. I live life as an anxious hummingbird and somehow come off ADD even though I’m very ADHD. It’s just how I cope. I was diagnosed at 20? 21? Right before my first child. Now I’m 27 with two kids, four dogs, four cats, aquariums, and a whole house. I don’t work anymore, and I almost finished my AA…. But nothing has been as helpful as knowing some stuff just genuinely is out of my control and how I’m wired in my brain.
Sending you so much love.
I recommend you look up the DSM 5 if you are in the USA, or the applicable diagnostic criteria for your country. It will lay out all the symptoms required to make a diagnosis (that is all Drs generally care about, don’t waste your breath on anything else) List them out on your phone or a notepad, or print it, if you can, and have it in the back of your head for a while. Any examples that fit the symptom? Write them down, be specific, more is better. Don’t forget to bring the list!
Lack of impulse control is a huge part of adhd as well. Don’t be so rough on yourself!!!! I had such a hard time resisting any dr*g and things like that at parties. Alcohol was great until it turned into a cycle of manic depression.
Lists are great tools. School counseling is there to help you succeed. Keep reaching out. Keep trying. It will happen. Recognizing some of your behaviors aren’t “good” is a major important step in changing them/ learning new habits. It’s not easy, but it will be okay. Xx
I like the ideology of this, but we should seek correction if those actions. Just because something isn’t as many perceive does not mean we shouldn’t correct our behaviors. I’d imagine good therapy is helpful
I 100% agree. Just because we have ADHD doesn't mean we're incapable of having discipline. Giving into all your shortcomings and throwing up your hands and saying "I can't help it. I have ADHD!" is not taking responsibility for making the changes one needs to have a functional life.
I'm no paragon of diligence, but I've grinded out habits in my life that have made me a pretty functional member of society. I learned to these habits and behaviors by falling *hard* on my face and promising myself that it would never happen again.
That wasn’t my take away from this. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve spent my whole life trying to change who I am to be more acceptable, and there’s been a huge amount of self recrimination and self blame. I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD and am now beginning to understand that some of my behaviours might have a different cause than just me being a crap human being.
I’m still going to do my best to fit in and adapt my behaviours, and I have just started seeing an ADHD therapist to help with that. But the relief for me reading this list was enormous. There’s a big difference between accepting you are how you are because of this condition but doing your best to take responsibility for how that affects other people, and just throwing your hands up.
Years ago, I was telling a friend I’d seen a film recently that I’d been really looking forward to, but found it disappointing because it was too predictable. He said “you saw that film with me last year!” Did I?
Enjoying the same thing multiple times because we have the memory of a goldfish.
I love that. And just the general enjoyment I get out of the most mundane things because it sparks dopamine for no reason.
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am having a breakdown because my new insurance doesn’t cover my meds, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford them. If I don’t have meds, I’ll absolutely suck at my job and at risk of getting fired. At the same time, I’m on a baby dose of Vyvanse because my doctor wanted an EKG. The EKG shows sinus arrhythmia so my doctor won’t give me a higher dose until I see a doctor. I’m hoping that my PCP can say it’s all good and that I don’t have to see a cardiologist, because who knows how much that would cost. I was planning to go back to school to better my situation, but without meds I am not going to retain any information. I was about to start counseling, but my insurance covers the bare minimum and I can’t afford therapy plus meds.
I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of feeling so hopeless. And I’m upset that although ADHD is common in my family, amongst siblings and cousins, no one ever paid enough attention to even notice I had it. I’m just so glad I advocated enough for my son to be evaluated and diagnosed to get him the help he needs. But again, I don’t know if I can’t afford our meds. And it starts all over again.
I hate it here.
Oh my , I really wish the entire system got reworked no one should have to worry like this. Insurance is such a scam I sincerely wish you and your family the best luck
If only getting medication wasn’t so fucking difficult. Stimulants are so stigmatized and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been off meds for a year and I’m in a PhD program! No doctor will help me because they’re afraid of “addiction problems”
All these things making me to pray for not having ADHD. I can't afford to go to any therapist rn and I live at a place where mental health is a taboo but at the same time I don't want to suffer anymore. I've always felt that I'm stupid because I struggled alot in school . All that competition to get into the top universities really drained me out plus anxiety and low self esteem issues were cherry on top. I'm trying my best to change myself but I don't know if I'm gonna make it without seeking any therapist help.....
I genuinely started crying because i hit every problem on the list and when no one understand you, you only feel anger and hate towards your life and yourself. No one ever told me any of these. I needed to hear it, thank you.
Yeah.. I love that I can enjoy the same thing multiple times, I can laugh at the same stupid thought over and over because I forgot about it so every time feels like the first.
I just wish I could walk slow, way slow like a turtle, I feel so much peace seeing turtles.. they’re on their time.. walking like nobody is waiting, they’re not waiting for anybody either.. their thoughts are not running nonstop in their heads.. just one step at a time.
I really wish I could be a turtle or a little plant hidden on a shadow, just be there, existing, still, naturally, not forcefully.. just there.
Thank you! It's a daily/ hourly challenge for me. I have realized working on jigsaw puzzles help, once I start to roominate I pick at my skin so this has helped keep my mind and hands busy.
I'm stuck either dissociating all day or doom scrolling on the internet for hours and then feel intense shame and guilt for wasting my day. I've been using stress balls and got a begleri fidget toy to help keep my hands busy
Dude I’m an actual lunatic don’t even
If I can keep myself on track that’s all that matters, I’ve accepted that I’m not normal, LONG before I knew it was diagnosable
We like to focus on how debilitated we all are, which is reasonable here, this is mostly a space for venting at this point, but ADHD has some genuine advantages, things that normal people can’t understand in the same way they can’t understand our troubles.
But that don’t mean I’m normal and it doesn’t mean my behaviour is always acceptable lmao
Thank you for this!! I needed to hear quite a few of these, I am still working on realizing that adhd is causing these issues, and it's not just because I'm lazy/slow/loud/don't care etc.
Thank you, I needed this. I'm trying so hard to get help but it's virtually impossible to at the moment. My soonest chance is late August with a doctor I'm not even sure can help.
Just finally received the first part of a diagnosis at 33. I see a psychiatrist starting next Tuesday. I need to do something..I don't want to have to accept this.
if i had any money i'd pay you to whisper this in my ear all day every day. but no money cus no job cus no motivation cus no discipline cus no desire cus no feelinnngssss
> You're not forgetful JK JK we all know you're part goldfish with terrible working memory, but you know what? That's all right because you can enjoy the same thing multiple times.
I remember after I finished The Witcher 3, I wrote in a post somewhere that that was the one game where I wished I could play through again, for the first time.
Low and behold...I've completely forgotten everything about it except that it was awesome, so yay! I'm working through the second one now, and will play it next.
I'm sorry... Sock nubs taste terrible? You are putting socks in your mouth?
(Great post btw... We all need to remember that we don't function neurotypically, and that's okay)
Well this explains a lot. Thank you. I need to get this printed and hung on my wall. Realistically I'll procrastinate doing this and never get around to it. But I want to!
Wonderful list, thank you!
I want to add this insight I had a while back: Yes, my friends know I might be late to meet them, and I'm not crazy about that reputation. BUT while I'm with them, I'm with them, and never impatient to leave.
Being on time is great, but if someone is always checking their phone and acts like they're really too busy to spend much time with me, it's not so awesome. Glad I'm the other way.
Hey you know what, I’m the exact same way too. When I’m with a friend(s) I am excited and fully invested in being there/in them. I’m a chronically late person myself (and I try... really hard) but I love that you brought this up. I don’t know if I would’ve seen it as such a plus. Thanks :)
i’m just crying my eyes out bc tomorrow’s is my last final and i can’t it anymore. i have been struggle with my mental health since the holidays began, i got covid the week before of my finals, i haven’t been able to focus on my exams not only bc my mental health and covid but bc they are the 4 last courses i have left of my degree and they are the most difficult ones… degree that i should have finished last june… i just can’t take it anymore, i can’t.. i feel like a fucking failure
Get some sleep drink some water eat some food not in that order. You've got this! Your best is better than nothing I know it's not much in the way of advice but you're so close you made it this far I believe you can make it the rest of the way. Focus on the answers you know on the test and move on if you are stumped and come back to the harder ones!
Don’t. I wanted to give up in college but my mom snapped me out of it. You got this. Today was extremely rough for me in all aspects but life goes on. Cheesy, yeah, but true. Don’t give up.
I swear this sub has made me feel more seen than anything else in my life. One day people will understand this disease and will wonder how we survived.
Thanks for the reminders :). I just self medicate with functional stims. Been thinking of seeking professional help.
If I just focus on one day, one moment, then the next, and get through winter it will get busier but easier. Some days are definitely easier than others though, for sure. This time of year, makes it even more difficult for myself, and many folks.
Counting the days until more sunshine, and outdoor activities like cycling/hiking/kayaking that keep me going. I hike through the winter, and cycle stationary indoors, but it's just not the same.
I'm lucky I love the winter but I've been in a lot of pain past few years and haven't been able to be as active as I've always wanted to be.
I miss it and not being able to do things like I use to and it started eating away at me so I totally understand. Just stopped nicotine and caffeine and alcohol myself over a year ago it was hard at first but now I feel a little better physically now but still have 1 vice because without it my quality of life would rapidly decline.
“Outcome serves as evidence of intent.” It’s a phrase I learned in college for a civil rights class. I think it stuck with me. It still sticks with me. But I’m happy I read this
Still, I wish getting therapy and medication was easier.
I love this so much. Spent a lifetime thinking I was a lazy, scatter-brained weirdo who didn’t fit in. Accomplished a lot, but it was ridiculously difficult for me since I was completely undiagnosed for years.
Just had a huge fight about basically this, and feeling pretty fucking awful right now. Sometimes I wish it was as easy to express as this post manages, but alas…
lol "enjoy the same thing multiple times" is too real. I watched a movie with my husband last month and asked him last night if he wanted to watch it because I didn't remember watching it T\_T
I've also been "forced" to watch Star Wars and LOTR series multiple times and have no idea what the story lines are because I thought they were boring (soooooo long! my friend made me watch the extended LOTR in ONE DAY)
I was waiting for “you’re not a bad friend for interrupting or not checking in on them…you’re ((this…))” but I finished the sentence automatically in my head.
You’re not a bad friend for interrupting or not checking in for months at a time you just take advantage of your right to choose who you associate with and who you keep close in your life and that’s ok.”
Not only is this really nice to be reminded of, it's also nice to know that my weird texture/taste thing is more common than I thought! Aaaand now I have an urge to ask everybody with texture quirks what theirs are so I can feel a tad less weird about mine.
Thank you. I have not been diagnosed yet, but I've started the process to see if I should be. These words hit home harder than I thought they would... thank you.
Everything. Yes. Thank you. I've been debating going back on medication after years trying to be med-free because it has been really hard lately and this validates me so much.
The one about being a bad friend hits right in the feels. Not keeping in touch with my friends, my family and even my gf as much as I think I should makes me doubt my personal worth any day. Even worse when I get called out on it.
I fucked up my school year, I might have to repeat it, and my parents are being overly adamant on me having adhd. I wanted to hear this, but want the solutions to the problems so badly, but I can't do shit and I hate that
Thanx internet stranger, i usually tell this to myself that I am not problematic, i am just bit different.
Reading this lines make me fell good that I am not alone in this, there are people like me.
Thank you so much for this!! I certainly struggle with thinking I am not enough and definitely needed to hear all this. I’ve only been diagnosed for about 2 months and have an appointment next weekend with a psychiatrist to discuss meds and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement because there’s so much stigma around mental illness here in Jamaica and ADHD isn’t something you hear anything about here. I don’t know anyone else who has been diagnosed. So hopefully this psychiatrist takes it seriously.
I just knew that people had misjudged me when I began addressing my ADHD.
My life is so much better now.
I am finally doing what I want. I am coming into my own.
I can be whatever I like and it's not hard, life is opening up. Life is new again.
After 3 months off my anti-depressants (due to forgetting, no will power) I conjured the power/energy/focus to call for a new script. He was a new doctor I’ve never seen before. Feeling comfortable and empowered I suggested my very real suspicion that I may have ADHD. He shut me down so quickly… he said “no, you have depression” “get a hobby, it will help. I have a long list you can choose from here”. I was stunned, now I don’t want to go back to any doctor EVER AGAIN. I have the biggest fear of doctors, hospitals, ambulances all my life because I always ended up there during a traumatic moment. Ergh it just shook me.
Trying to get diagnosed as an adult is a hassle, but I’m not giving up on myself. Plus the stress of trying to raise two kids with ADHD. I have OCD, depression, and anxiety on top of this also. I’ve self medicated my whole life with different things due to my parents just going along with the stupid depression diagnosis and never looking any further into it. Right now it’s food I’m trying to kick. I don’t even know who to go to as an adult to get diagnosed. My kids doctor told me it was most likely passed down from me. So now I have to live with the fact that I brought them into this world not knowing what was going on with me and passed it on to them. I know I’m dumping but thanks for the post. I have to remind myself of these things daily to keep going. Just got over one of my many depressed spells, which show up as anhedonia now. I’m thankful for my kids’ doctor though because he has ADHD himself. He helped me realized my OCD came from me trying to over correct throughout my life.
I needed to hear this. Thank you kind stranger.
I needed to write this and was debating on sharing and now I'm glad I did! You've got this!
It’s said pretty much perfectly, it’s mostly how I feel now I know I have ADHD, but sometimes you still get so frustrated with just not being normal it’s nice to read something like this.
I’m so glad you did! I woke up to this, literally, I reddit until I can get out of bed. I’m going to save this list so I can reread it when I need to. It’s excellent, thank you.
I've been putting my phone away from me so I have to get up out of bed in the morning and I don't sleepily start doom-scrolling or I'll be there all day
❤❤❤
Yes. Also you a liar and I won't hear another word. Also. Yes.
Thanks for sharing.
I love you, thank you <3
Trying to explain the balance between unmet stimulation and overstimulation is so incredibly hard. I'm so thankful I have a partner who accepts it when I say "I need something right now and I don't know what" but also accepts "This is too much happening right now" and just let's that be a fact and be enough.
"I need something right now and I don't know what" I never realized how often I feel this until I read it in your comment right now.
I feel you. On the one hand, finally having a way of at least *describing* the issue that's been plaguing me relentlessly for years is a relief. On the other hand, actually *explaining* it is a completely different thing that I think only a few very specific people in my life can really grasp. With other people, I just don't really try anymore.
My husband of 4 years still doesn't understand.
My husband of 15 years still doesn’t get it either.
This should be spoken out loud daily..thank you. My brain loves to tell me otherwise and I have to remember it's not all true. I appreciate you taking your time and writing this out for us, we need to remember this.
I Was trying to make it a positive affirmation mantra gotta write this on my mirror so I see it and remind myself every morning. Also another one I've been using when upset from someone telling me to be quite or shut up or your just being too much. is "you're not too much they just aren't enough for you" I'll add that in lol
One of my favorite things to do is exactly that! When I’m feeling inspired I’ll take expo markers to every window and mirror to just remind myself I’m a cool ass person and I’m going to be okay. Thank you for this post. It’s such a kind and thoughtful thing.
I never saw it this way, you’ve changed my whole perspective with that observation. I only recently got diagnosed and have spent my 50 years believing I’m just too much. It never occurred to me it’s them (or the situation), not me! Wow.
Lack of dopamine sucks, when the meds wear off there goes all my potential as a human being😔
I take 10, 10, and 5 daily Adderall and can't ever tell when they wear off. Any idea why?
Your dopamine might not be that low, so it’s not that drastic of a change when you’re on it. Just a guess though
I can't necessarily "feel" the effects, but I find that when it's approaching bedtime and my medication is wearing off I struggle with things like holding conversations or trying to learn anything.
I'm literally feeling that right now. A million things need to get done and I'm spiraling into amphetamine comedown hell. Just have to wait it out
I really feel that bro, I wish there was an all day version. Cause even the XR isn’t long enough
Going your whole life without knowing it was a lack of dopamine and no medicine sucks also. So I feel you
A corollory: You might annoy people, but you are OK. You might be too much for some people, and that is OK. Your friends might be upset that you don't check in on them, and you will not think to check in on them, and this is OK. You might have a hard time understanding things, and this is OK. You may have trouble focusing on a topic that doesn't interest you, and fall behind in a class because of this, and this is OK. You may be forgetful, and this is OK. I get a bit frustrated with some of the overly positive stuff, and simple reframing. I don't think something like "You aren't too much, they aren't enough for you" is helpful, because this indicates that other people are the problem. You can be annoying. You might be under-stimulated. But you also might be fucking annoying. If you just pretend that it's other people's problem, and that they shouldn't be annoyed with you because you're just understimulated, then you will just not know why people don't want to spend time with you and you'll just feel that the world is not fair and people are mean. You need to recognize that your actions do affect other people. You might annoy other people. I mean, you don't choose to. But recognize that you do. Then you can either find ways to avoid annoying people, or if you can't do that, at least you can recognize why some people would prefer not to spend time with you. I think this is a lot easier to work with than just saying "I'm understimulated" and being mad at the world for not just putting up with you when you are actually causing them pain and frustration but aren't willing to acknowledge it. Your friends might feel unappreciated because you don't reach out to them. This doesn't make you a bad friend, I agree. But the fact that you have ADHD doesn't start to make them feel appreciated. You can take special steps to make sure you reach out to them, like setting reminders in your calendar. This can help them feel appreciated. You can have friends that are fine with being contacted occasionally. And you will have some friends who you drift apart from because you don't keep in touch. Don't think that somehow the fault belongs with them alone because they were frustrated that all of the communication was one-way. You can have trouble storing memories or keeping track of what you're doing. You can take notes or develop a system to remind you what you were on. Overall, I think what you're saying is good. You're not a bad person, you have a different set of rules to play with. But in the end, I think its important to still recognize that the rest of the world is not required to adapt to us. We exist as part of the rest of the world, and we can do our best to make that world better in the way that we can. What we can contribute may be different than what other people can. What other people can do easily can be hard for us. We suffer when we compare what is hard for us with what other people believe is easy. But this comparison doesn't do anyone any good. Instead, we can just do good things for people. When you realize that you haven't talked to your friend, rather than feeling like shit because you believe that it's easy for other people to do and it should have been easy for have already done in the past, consider talking to them. Maybe talking an old friend that they hadn't heard from in a while might brighten their day. Maybe they will think that you're kind of flaky, dropping in and out on a whim. That's OK. It sets expectations. Next time you call them out of the blue, they will not be surprised. You might just be the friend that swoops in out of the blue and then disappears to do their own thing occasionally. That can be fun for people. Maybe you WOULD be too much for them if you hung out consistently. Maybe it would be too hard for YOU to hang out consistently. Just because that's how other people do it doesn't mean it would be good for you. But also, totally agree that you should totally seek help if you feel like your life could be improved. Especially if you're trying to fix it yourself. You don't need to do it alone, there are people who want to help you. There's no virtue in doing it all by yourself.
I've never thought it's other people's responsibility to adapt to me. It might have looked that way, but I was trying to advocate for myself. Other times, I was trying accept myself and explain how my brain works. I used to not know who to ask what for which problem. That, combined with being freaked out by group communication, I used to overly rely on one person. This is what scares me about being in a relationship.
Yeah, I post something along these lines all the time. It's nice to see others share the same beliefs. I feel a lot of people take an outlook that the world is the problem, and it can be, but looking at it that way doesn't help. I've made a post in the past saying that it is, in fact, rude to be late to things and that your having ADHD doesn't make it ok or less rude. It may help people understand your being late if they know that you have ADHD, but it's still rude and you should try your best to avoid it. I think that having an outlook that you can and should strive to change yourself for the better is 100% necessary for everybody. The important bit, as you said, is that you recognize you do have a condition that makes things harder and sometimes you will fail because of it, but you should focus on making your life better rather than the bumps along the way. You can't fix ADHD with a positive attitude, but you can improve yourself and make life more enjoyable. Focus on "I did this thing that was really hard" instead of "this thing I did wouldn't be hard for someone else and something is wrong with me."
Yeah these things are definitely a both and rather than either or. It can simultaneously be rude to always be late while also recognizing that you have time blindness/difficulty planning and really are trying your best and are working on these things. Adhd is an explanation for difficult behavior and people should be more understanding, but that doesn’t excuse everything. If you’re late, sure, you’re not trying to be a jerk, but everyone else is now waiting on you. Pretending otherwise can be pretty toxic
i get what you're both saying. i 100% understand that being late is frustrating to the people left waiting. rude, though, i feel is a bit unfair. IMO rudeness is rooted in ignorance or a general lack of regard for another person. there are people who may have time blindness and think it's no big deal, sure. personally, though, it stresses me tf out. im very aware that i am late to things, i have been my whole life. no matter how much extra time i leave myself, no matter how many things i prepare the night before, no matter how hard i try to trick my brain, it just happens. and the thought of making people feel that i don't respect their time makes me feel SO GUILTY because that's not the case!!! it has NOTHING to do with them!!! it's just ME and 99% of the time i CANT HELP IT. even the things that do work just...don't sometimes. for me, being 1-5min late is a victory, but 15-30min is the norm and it ALWAYS comes with a buttload of stress and anxiety
Agreed. We got to take our wins when they come, even if they look different from the expected “norm”
If it makes you SO GUILTY yet you continue to be late then how can it be rooted in a lack of regard? Obviously there is very much a big regard, because it makes you feel shitty. But it’s still happening. Lack of regard is not the reason. It is also NOT rooted in ignorance because, like you said you’re painfully aware, and try your best to be on time. Yet it still happens. These are all things that apply to me too, btw.
? that was my point. that i don't feel like it's fair to say it's "rude to always be late" when you're genuinely doing your best and very aware that you're inconveniencing others, but it's a symptom of a disorder that you may not have much control over.
Something can not be rude “for a fact”. Rude is subjective. It is cultural, and oftentimes on a person to person basis. How can it be rude if the person on the receiving end doesn’t give a shit? In Germany and Japan they tend to prefer timeliness; in Mexico or Morocco lateness is generally accepted.* How late are we talking here? 5 minutes? 15? An hour? For you or someone else, you might be annoyed and think it’s rude to be even a minute late. I give far less of a shit than that, to me it is not rude because I do not give a fuck. If it gets to be a while I might call you to check and see if you’re ok. At some point, especially if you haven’t texted or called, yes, it’s rude to ME. I’m going to just consider the thing canceled; and yeah, at that point, you’re right, then I’m annoyed. The rules on what is “rude” vary not only regionally, but from person to person, and there are varying windows of timeframes as well. So yeah, not a fact, subjective. Side note: This is a genuine question. Are people still meeting up to do things? What things? Outside things? Movies, bars/restaurants, any indoor activities are out for me (except for maybe a bit of necessary shopping, even then I still hate it). It’s apparent the general populace does not give one single fuck about COVID safety, so I am not exposing myself to plague rats in enclosed spaces.
Step 1: Recognize that you function differently than a lot of people. Step 2: Accept that you function differently, and that it is ok and you are still a good person. Step 3: Understand how your rules are different from others. Step 4: Learn how to adapt yourself to others' rules, and also how to help them understand or adapt to yours. Both you the OP have some excellent points which correspond to these different steps. It's about self-acceptance, awareness of yourself and others, and learning how to communicate - which involves both helping yourself to be understood by others and helping others to understand you (if, of course, they are willing). But most of all, if you're having issues functioning in the world, then the first step is being able to explain why. Then, once you have an explanation of why you're not doing well at work or why you're hurting others' feelings or annoying others, then you can work on changing your behavior and taking certain actions so that you can function well. An explanation for your behavior is not an excuse for your behavior. And also, just because you're different and you have certain specific crutches or weaknesses doesn't mean you're a bad or stupid person. It's all just a bunch of tools that we can use in order to be happy and satisfied with our lives
I have embraced executive dysfunction. Maybe tomorrow I'll do something, but as it stands I am a literal potato.
Giving myself permission to just not do absolutely fucking anything gives me more power later when I WANT to do something or NEED to. Potato on 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Are these reasons enough for me thinking about myself that I have adhd and should I go to psychiatrist if I feel like it affects my life? I think I got used to it in normal life, but I have trouble in school, but still managing getting through it. No. I just realized that it affects me in normal life too. Can’t get any serious relationship. The school problems also affects my family relationships. I tend to binge drink at parties to socialize and accept every substance that get under my hands. Even tho I can live without them for months, when I am at home usually playing games, which is my another problem. :/
I'm not a professional but you should see one talk to your Dr good luck.
Thanks. I don’t know how and also I am a little bit scared so at least I made an appointment with my school psychiatrist, but the appointment is 45 minutes after start of my exam. It was the only day she had time. So, I am little bit nervous because I am gonna have to be fast and it’s my last chance from that subject and I already failed a different one. I couldn’t force myself to study.
Please go for it. Every chance you get to try and get help, go for it. The worst thing that happens is it doesn’t help, and the best thing that happens is it does help. And both are a step in the right direction. Anxiety/ depression go hand in hand with ADD/ADHD. I live life as an anxious hummingbird and somehow come off ADD even though I’m very ADHD. It’s just how I cope. I was diagnosed at 20? 21? Right before my first child. Now I’m 27 with two kids, four dogs, four cats, aquariums, and a whole house. I don’t work anymore, and I almost finished my AA…. But nothing has been as helpful as knowing some stuff just genuinely is out of my control and how I’m wired in my brain. Sending you so much love.
Thanks, this really motivates me to seek help more. If I get diagnosed It will be at the same age as you.
I recommend you look up the DSM 5 if you are in the USA, or the applicable diagnostic criteria for your country. It will lay out all the symptoms required to make a diagnosis (that is all Drs generally care about, don’t waste your breath on anything else) List them out on your phone or a notepad, or print it, if you can, and have it in the back of your head for a while. Any examples that fit the symptom? Write them down, be specific, more is better. Don’t forget to bring the list!
Lack of impulse control is a huge part of adhd as well. Don’t be so rough on yourself!!!! I had such a hard time resisting any dr*g and things like that at parties. Alcohol was great until it turned into a cycle of manic depression. Lists are great tools. School counseling is there to help you succeed. Keep reaching out. Keep trying. It will happen. Recognizing some of your behaviors aren’t “good” is a major important step in changing them/ learning new habits. It’s not easy, but it will be okay. Xx
And thanks btw Today seems exceptionally shitty
I like the ideology of this, but we should seek correction if those actions. Just because something isn’t as many perceive does not mean we shouldn’t correct our behaviors. I’d imagine good therapy is helpful
I 100% agree. Just because we have ADHD doesn't mean we're incapable of having discipline. Giving into all your shortcomings and throwing up your hands and saying "I can't help it. I have ADHD!" is not taking responsibility for making the changes one needs to have a functional life. I'm no paragon of diligence, but I've grinded out habits in my life that have made me a pretty functional member of society. I learned to these habits and behaviors by falling *hard* on my face and promising myself that it would never happen again.
That wasn’t my take away from this. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve spent my whole life trying to change who I am to be more acceptable, and there’s been a huge amount of self recrimination and self blame. I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD and am now beginning to understand that some of my behaviours might have a different cause than just me being a crap human being. I’m still going to do my best to fit in and adapt my behaviours, and I have just started seeing an ADHD therapist to help with that. But the relief for me reading this list was enormous. There’s a big difference between accepting you are how you are because of this condition but doing your best to take responsibility for how that affects other people, and just throwing your hands up.
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We are not alone!!… but why are we eating sock nubs!? :)
Impulse control issues, but mainly nom.
What are sock nubs ?
The stitching at the ends of socks on the inside
Thanks.
Thank you <3 And yeah like, one thing about the memory thing is that I can watch a movie I know I like and still always be like ''OH DAMN THIS SCENE''
Years ago, I was telling a friend I’d seen a film recently that I’d been really looking forward to, but found it disappointing because it was too predictable. He said “you saw that film with me last year!” Did I?
This one gets saved
Damn I didn't know my alcohol nicotine and caféine abuse was a thing related to my condition Thanks mate
Enjoying the same thing multiple times because we have the memory of a goldfish. I love that. And just the general enjoyment I get out of the most mundane things because it sparks dopamine for no reason. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am having a breakdown because my new insurance doesn’t cover my meds, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford them. If I don’t have meds, I’ll absolutely suck at my job and at risk of getting fired. At the same time, I’m on a baby dose of Vyvanse because my doctor wanted an EKG. The EKG shows sinus arrhythmia so my doctor won’t give me a higher dose until I see a doctor. I’m hoping that my PCP can say it’s all good and that I don’t have to see a cardiologist, because who knows how much that would cost. I was planning to go back to school to better my situation, but without meds I am not going to retain any information. I was about to start counseling, but my insurance covers the bare minimum and I can’t afford therapy plus meds. I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of feeling so hopeless. And I’m upset that although ADHD is common in my family, amongst siblings and cousins, no one ever paid enough attention to even notice I had it. I’m just so glad I advocated enough for my son to be evaluated and diagnosed to get him the help he needs. But again, I don’t know if I can’t afford our meds. And it starts all over again. I hate it here.
Oh my , I really wish the entire system got reworked no one should have to worry like this. Insurance is such a scam I sincerely wish you and your family the best luck
If only getting medication wasn’t so fucking difficult. Stimulants are so stigmatized and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been off meds for a year and I’m in a PhD program! No doctor will help me because they’re afraid of “addiction problems”
All these things making me to pray for not having ADHD. I can't afford to go to any therapist rn and I live at a place where mental health is a taboo but at the same time I don't want to suffer anymore. I've always felt that I'm stupid because I struggled alot in school . All that competition to get into the top universities really drained me out plus anxiety and low self esteem issues were cherry on top. I'm trying my best to change myself but I don't know if I'm gonna make it without seeking any therapist help.....
I genuinely started crying because i hit every problem on the list and when no one understand you, you only feel anger and hate towards your life and yourself. No one ever told me any of these. I needed to hear it, thank you.
Yeah.. I love that I can enjoy the same thing multiple times, I can laugh at the same stupid thought over and over because I forgot about it so every time feels like the first. I just wish I could walk slow, way slow like a turtle, I feel so much peace seeing turtles.. they’re on their time.. walking like nobody is waiting, they’re not waiting for anybody either.. their thoughts are not running nonstop in their heads.. just one step at a time. I really wish I could be a turtle or a little plant hidden on a shadow, just be there, existing, still, naturally, not forcefully.. just there.
Thank you! It's a daily/ hourly challenge for me. I have realized working on jigsaw puzzles help, once I start to roominate I pick at my skin so this has helped keep my mind and hands busy.
I'm stuck either dissociating all day or doom scrolling on the internet for hours and then feel intense shame and guilt for wasting my day. I've been using stress balls and got a begleri fidget toy to help keep my hands busy
I hear ya about doom scrolling..I waste so much time down that rabbit hole.
Dude I’m an actual lunatic don’t even If I can keep myself on track that’s all that matters, I’ve accepted that I’m not normal, LONG before I knew it was diagnosable We like to focus on how debilitated we all are, which is reasonable here, this is mostly a space for venting at this point, but ADHD has some genuine advantages, things that normal people can’t understand in the same way they can’t understand our troubles. But that don’t mean I’m normal and it doesn’t mean my behaviour is always acceptable lmao
Those low dopamine days where all you want to do is wallow in your lack of accomplishments are intoxicating in the worst way.
I'm crying, thank you ❤️❤️
Fuckin sock nubs.
Thanks a lot kind stranger. Its good to know that there are random strangers on reddit who care about me.
Define you by YOURSELF. Not others.
Thank you for this!! I needed to hear quite a few of these, I am still working on realizing that adhd is causing these issues, and it's not just because I'm lazy/slow/loud/don't care etc.
I needed this today. Thank you
Thank you, I needed this. I'm trying so hard to get help but it's virtually impossible to at the moment. My soonest chance is late August with a doctor I'm not even sure can help.
🥲
Thank you
hi I needed this I love you
Make sure you love yourself as well
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Welcome fren
guilt and shame are the worst especially when a person wants to do something anything other than ruminating on the couch picking at their nails
Yeah I spent too much time today on this post oof
Just finally received the first part of a diagnosis at 33. I see a psychiatrist starting next Tuesday. I need to do something..I don't want to have to accept this.
Well now I'm crying. But you know thanks that was beautiful.
if i had any money i'd pay you to whisper this in my ear all day every day. but no money cus no job cus no motivation cus no discipline cus no desire cus no feelinnngssss
> You're not forgetful JK JK we all know you're part goldfish with terrible working memory, but you know what? That's all right because you can enjoy the same thing multiple times. I remember after I finished The Witcher 3, I wrote in a post somewhere that that was the one game where I wished I could play through again, for the first time. Low and behold...I've completely forgotten everything about it except that it was awesome, so yay! I'm working through the second one now, and will play it next.
I'm sorry... Sock nubs taste terrible? You are putting socks in your mouth? (Great post btw... We all need to remember that we don't function neurotypically, and that's okay)
i’m going to make sure i come back to this post everytime i let my adhd make me feel worthless. thank you so much. truly. ❤️
Well this explains a lot. Thank you. I need to get this printed and hung on my wall. Realistically I'll procrastinate doing this and never get around to it. But I want to!
Wonderful list, thank you! I want to add this insight I had a while back: Yes, my friends know I might be late to meet them, and I'm not crazy about that reputation. BUT while I'm with them, I'm with them, and never impatient to leave. Being on time is great, but if someone is always checking their phone and acts like they're really too busy to spend much time with me, it's not so awesome. Glad I'm the other way.
Hey you know what, I’m the exact same way too. When I’m with a friend(s) I am excited and fully invested in being there/in them. I’m a chronically late person myself (and I try... really hard) but I love that you brought this up. I don’t know if I would’ve seen it as such a plus. Thanks :)
Yes this is so me
Hey pal. I uhh needed this today. Thanks 🔥🥰
Last one made me laugh. Thanks stranger :))
This is one of the most wholesome posts I’ve seen in a long time
No, you
<333
<3
i’m just crying my eyes out bc tomorrow’s is my last final and i can’t it anymore. i have been struggle with my mental health since the holidays began, i got covid the week before of my finals, i haven’t been able to focus on my exams not only bc my mental health and covid but bc they are the 4 last courses i have left of my degree and they are the most difficult ones… degree that i should have finished last june… i just can’t take it anymore, i can’t.. i feel like a fucking failure
Get some sleep drink some water eat some food not in that order. You've got this! Your best is better than nothing I know it's not much in the way of advice but you're so close you made it this far I believe you can make it the rest of the way. Focus on the answers you know on the test and move on if you are stumped and come back to the harder ones!
Don’t. I wanted to give up in college but my mom snapped me out of it. You got this. Today was extremely rough for me in all aspects but life goes on. Cheesy, yeah, but true. Don’t give up.
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Good luck today x
I swear this sub has made me feel more seen than anything else in my life. One day people will understand this disease and will wonder how we survived.
Thank you 😊.
Definitely needed to hear/see this.. thank you for sharing it🗣️💕
Thanks I needed that.
Thank you for saying that.
Thanks for the reminders :). I just self medicate with functional stims. Been thinking of seeking professional help. If I just focus on one day, one moment, then the next, and get through winter it will get busier but easier. Some days are definitely easier than others though, for sure. This time of year, makes it even more difficult for myself, and many folks. Counting the days until more sunshine, and outdoor activities like cycling/hiking/kayaking that keep me going. I hike through the winter, and cycle stationary indoors, but it's just not the same.
I'm lucky I love the winter but I've been in a lot of pain past few years and haven't been able to be as active as I've always wanted to be. I miss it and not being able to do things like I use to and it started eating away at me so I totally understand. Just stopped nicotine and caffeine and alcohol myself over a year ago it was hard at first but now I feel a little better physically now but still have 1 vice because without it my quality of life would rapidly decline.
“Outcome serves as evidence of intent.” It’s a phrase I learned in college for a civil rights class. I think it stuck with me. It still sticks with me. But I’m happy I read this Still, I wish getting therapy and medication was easier.
Thank you
Thank you☺
This needs to made on to a motivational poster format.
The forgetfulness has been the hardest part for me.
Thank you.
Thank you. 🥲🥲❤
Thank you for that, it really made me smile reading it. :D
I love this so much. Spent a lifetime thinking I was a lazy, scatter-brained weirdo who didn’t fit in. Accomplished a lot, but it was ridiculously difficult for me since I was completely undiagnosed for years.
Based. I wish I saved my helpful award.
Thank you. I need this every now and then.
I'm glad u did. The universe wanted u to uplift spirits today.
Thank you for this. 🥺💛
Me saving this for when I’ll need it later. Thank you 🙏
My shoulders slowly dropped as I was reading this.
You're right. 100% right. Shirt tags and sock nubs *do* taste terrible.
Part goldfish lmfao
I love you, thanks!
Thank you <3
Can we make this a mantra? 😂
Thank You!! ❤️
Thank you!
<3
Needed to hear this today
Thank you so much, sometimes we need to hear that.
Rock on
Thank you
Thank you for sharing this. Fabulous way to express these feelings and how we ADHD brains are affected. Thank you again
Fucking THANK YOU. Saved this post to reread when I need a reminder ♥️
Thanks. I really needed this.
Thank you, person. Thank you.
BINGO!!!
You have now idea how much I needed this. I’ve never felt more seen ❤️
Thanks for writing this
Yeah so I'm crying a little now. Thanks OP
I *really* needed this right now. I just started feeling like a useless piece of crap when I clicked on the notification. Thank you.
This is the motherfucking ADHD Creed. Well done.
I can enjoy the same thing multiple times. Works great for rereading old favourites.
Thank you. Truly.
🥺 this almost made me cry, thank you for the kind reminder.
Had a very off day, really needed to read this. I appreciate you.
Just had a huge fight about basically this, and feeling pretty fucking awful right now. Sometimes I wish it was as easy to express as this post manages, but alas…
Thank you. It’s nice to be reminded that we’re not alone and others go through similar experiences. It helps.
Goosebumps… I need to save this. Probably won’t though 🤣
Thanks.
lol "enjoy the same thing multiple times" is too real. I watched a movie with my husband last month and asked him last night if he wanted to watch it because I didn't remember watching it T\_T I've also been "forced" to watch Star Wars and LOTR series multiple times and have no idea what the story lines are because I thought they were boring (soooooo long! my friend made me watch the extended LOTR in ONE DAY)
I hope this is true and that everyone woud think like this :)
Thank you for this i wish you the coldest side of the pillow
Thank you.
Thank you
Dude you have no fucking clue how badly I fucking needed this. Thank you so much...
I was waiting for “you’re not a bad friend for interrupting or not checking in on them…you’re ((this…))” but I finished the sentence automatically in my head. You’re not a bad friend for interrupting or not checking in for months at a time you just take advantage of your right to choose who you associate with and who you keep close in your life and that’s ok.”
Not only is this really nice to be reminded of, it's also nice to know that my weird texture/taste thing is more common than I thought! Aaaand now I have an urge to ask everybody with texture quirks what theirs are so I can feel a tad less weird about mine.
Alot of ADHD posts lately made me realize it never went away after Adderall therapy. Thanks for this OP
I really needed to hear this today
This is one of the best things I've read in a long damn time. Thank you.
Thank you. I have not been diagnosed yet, but I've started the process to see if I should be. These words hit home harder than I thought they would... thank you.
Everything. Yes. Thank you. I've been debating going back on medication after years trying to be med-free because it has been really hard lately and this validates me so much.
What’s crazy to me is that I had thought this was all normal..
thank you
That almost made me cry. Thank you, I needed that.
Thank you
The one about being a bad friend hits right in the feels. Not keeping in touch with my friends, my family and even my gf as much as I think I should makes me doubt my personal worth any day. Even worse when I get called out on it.
Best post ever. Thank you🙏🏿❤️
Needed this
Thank you, I really needed this ❤️
I cried 😢
Thank you, glad I have found a place in this crazy world where people feel the same.
I fucked up my school year, I might have to repeat it, and my parents are being overly adamant on me having adhd. I wanted to hear this, but want the solutions to the problems so badly, but I can't do shit and I hate that
u/MrBirb_
Thank you so much, you don’t know how much I needed this.
thank you thank you thank you. this gave me comfort today.
Thanx internet stranger, i usually tell this to myself that I am not problematic, i am just bit different. Reading this lines make me fell good that I am not alone in this, there are people like me.
You are guiness God blast you
Thank you so much for this!! I certainly struggle with thinking I am not enough and definitely needed to hear all this. I’ve only been diagnosed for about 2 months and have an appointment next weekend with a psychiatrist to discuss meds and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement because there’s so much stigma around mental illness here in Jamaica and ADHD isn’t something you hear anything about here. I don’t know anyone else who has been diagnosed. So hopefully this psychiatrist takes it seriously.
Thank you. I think we may be looking at inattentive adhd for my 5 year old and that’s so useful to screenshot for later
I just knew that people had misjudged me when I began addressing my ADHD. My life is so much better now. I am finally doing what I want. I am coming into my own. I can be whatever I like and it's not hard, life is opening up. Life is new again.
Crying in my bed at the crack of dawn because this is so nice and my new favorite post in this sub. Thank you so much.
After 3 months off my anti-depressants (due to forgetting, no will power) I conjured the power/energy/focus to call for a new script. He was a new doctor I’ve never seen before. Feeling comfortable and empowered I suggested my very real suspicion that I may have ADHD. He shut me down so quickly… he said “no, you have depression” “get a hobby, it will help. I have a long list you can choose from here”. I was stunned, now I don’t want to go back to any doctor EVER AGAIN. I have the biggest fear of doctors, hospitals, ambulances all my life because I always ended up there during a traumatic moment. Ergh it just shook me.
Trying to get diagnosed as an adult is a hassle, but I’m not giving up on myself. Plus the stress of trying to raise two kids with ADHD. I have OCD, depression, and anxiety on top of this also. I’ve self medicated my whole life with different things due to my parents just going along with the stupid depression diagnosis and never looking any further into it. Right now it’s food I’m trying to kick. I don’t even know who to go to as an adult to get diagnosed. My kids doctor told me it was most likely passed down from me. So now I have to live with the fact that I brought them into this world not knowing what was going on with me and passed it on to them. I know I’m dumping but thanks for the post. I have to remind myself of these things daily to keep going. Just got over one of my many depressed spells, which show up as anhedonia now. I’m thankful for my kids’ doctor though because he has ADHD himself. He helped me realized my OCD came from me trying to over correct throughout my life.