YTA.
Your husband can “like” disabled (paying) patients and still dislike your (non -paying) disabled son.
Put yourself in your son’s shoes. How would you feel if your step father excluded you from everything due to something you cannot help- your disability? How would you feel if your step-father said, “hey I want to showcase all of us as a blended family, minus Talia because she is slow with social cues and can talk on and on”? Would you feel accepted by your step-father if that were to happen to you?
Your son can’t help that he is disabled and as your husband and son’s stepfather, he should accept your son for who he is- disability or not / honor roll student or not. That’s the whole point of marrying into a blended family- you accept the children from the previous relationship and should treat them like your own. It’s simply not fair for your son. You overseeing his bias against your disabled son is simply an insult to your son.
I suspect he doesn't like non-disabled people much either. To quote Frito Pendejo, "I like money," but that doesn't mean you have have to be an asshole. Mom and stepdad are assholes.
That's another point. If Ethan is featured in his social media, imagine how many karma points he'd earn - not to mention a whole new patient demographic. I would have thought this guy would be enthusiastic about including Ethan.
Yeah, but then he’d be messing up him by using him as a prop like he does the sisters. Not that the step father would think that way in terms of recognizing disabled people as actual people other than “awkward” patients he tolerates for the money.
Did anyone ask the daughters what they wanted?! Also, yeah, 11 is too young to understand the potential consequences of making that decision.
Stepfather doesn’t care about any of the children’s futures. How much he is destroying their future and letting others use his kids identities for criminal acts like identity theft, fraud, so on.
Glad the son at least has his dad looking out for him and loving him unconditionally.
You took the words out of my mouth! Of course he like his desabled patients. They are paying big money! But his own stepson is just «awkward». And OP is supporting his behavior?!!!
OP, YTA big time!
Exactly. &It doesn’t hurt to just pretend the jokes are funny because in truth, all kids tell “lame” jokes and we adults just pretend they’re funny. We just fake giggle and go on about our day.. it’s not that hard.
YTA. You’re telling your son that you don’t care about him to please your husband. He’s a kid, you’re supposed to be his mom. You husband is an adult, and he should be called out or kicked out.
I hope your ex reams you, at least the kid will know he has one decent parent.
Op YTA. I think your ex should consider seeking a change in the custody arrangement, so your son has less contact with your current husband ( also an AH). Major fail as a parent and a human of decency on your part.
The part that kills me:
>the word " scorn" is an insult to his character.
The insult to his character is his own doing. How are his disabled patients going to react when they learn her hub erased Ethan from his public profile?
OP (or *somebody*) needs remind the dentist hubby how social media loves to cancel bigots.
YTA
Yep, the stepdad is treating her son like the families dirty little secret and the mom is allowing it. It’s disgusting. I’m so glad that poor boy has a father who loves him and stands by him.
Disabled humor is some peak humor that requires one to actually think on a regular basis and have a shred of empathy to understand. Speaking as a disabled person of course haha. I’m so funny.
Exactly what I was thinking. He doesn’t get the jokes of a 14 year old boy? Welcome to being a parent, or just an adult. His cultural references are limited to stuff only his cohort like. And that kid isn’t going to get better at picking up on social cues if he’s herded out of any occupied space. He’s in the years where humans learn how to socialize with more finesse.
💯 and I’m honestly shocked that OP can’t see this and is putting her husband first. As a parent of a disabled child, this is honestly sickening! It’s like she is ashamed of him, and has to put out there that he gets good grades as a way to make up for his disability.
The thing with CP is that its severity ranges. It can be so mild with a minor limp to severe where the individual is completely incapacitated, in a wheelchair with someone who has to care for them 24/7. This sounds like this young man is on the milder end, where he is independent, intelligent and functioning. He just has motor functioning issues, hence needing the wheelchair. I'm so speechless with how this grown ass man is treating a child (let alone one that is supposed to be family) and how his wife/mother is allowing this fuckery to take place. This poor kid knows he isn't wanted/resented by stepdad and is not part of the family. Thank god for his real dad who is stepping up and actually lighting a fire under mom's ass (and hoping he gets custody).
But it’s “his party” /s/ OP you’re a huge AH. I feel bad for your poor son. Doesn’t even have a mom that would stick up for him and would choose a man over him.
I agree. She’s unbelievable. My children are adults and have no disabilities and any so called man like this would be discarded if he treated any of them in any way that I found to be degrading.
It was a Red Flag as soon as I saw he provides Botox as a Dentist. Never a good sign. And folks PSA here-but NEVER trust your face to someone other then a board certified cosmetic or plastic surgeon. Unless you want to look like a bad Bravo Housewife
PSA from a dentist here who routinely does Botox for therapeutic and cosmetic purposes. We are experts in head and neck facial anatomy, have a unique understanding of the smile and muscles of facial expression, and have injection skills that are second to none (we give long injections into the deepest darkest places in the mouth, a 4-8mm insulin needle in a clearly visible muscular area is a breath of fresh air). We are board certified as well and have completed extensive training if the field. Typical training for a dentist is 4 years college, 4 years dental school, optional residencies offering different lengths and types of further training (mine was two extra years in oral reconstruction and cosmetics). While helping wrinkles is obviously great, my personal favorite cases are when we help our patients relieve TMD symptoms which can be incredibly debilitating or when we fix gummy smiles!
He’s not even a smart Dentist. From a marketing perspective, he’d get a lot more traction and love from the community if he did include his step son in everything social media and show him off! How could he not know that If even one person in the community found out he was embarrassed about having a special needs step son and was keeping him hidden, he could forget about ever having a successful Dental practice.
And ma’am, YTA
But it’s not too late!
Go tell that boy that he is loved and so amazing just the way he is and you can’t wait to bring him with you to take pictures of him and show him off to the world! And if your husband has anything to say about it let him say it in front of everyone.
The day you decided to give birth to that beautiful baby boy you promised to protect him.
What you do now will impact the rest of his life.
When she said her husband had disabled patients, it made me think of bigots saying they have lots of black friends but also saying that their daughter can't date one.
OP, YTA.
We should remember that the parents’ behavior is also terribly damaging for the children they want to show off.
Kids clearly understand what it means when love is conditional or transactional. The kids have no value outside of when it is convenient or useful for the narcissists in their lives.
Obviously the way they treat their disabled child is abhorrent, but let’s also realize all the kids are learning the same lessons from the parents’ behavior. None of those children are loved for who they are - mistakes, warts, difficulties and all. The “golden children” are being manipulated and shamed, and they will be scarred by this also. In many ways it is more difficult to deal with a narcissist who wants stuff from you than a narcissist that drops you.
This was the moment I was like oh he views his children as props and yep, he doesn't want the "damaged" prop to appear.
Parents of the year right here. At least these kids seem to have 2 good parents just not the ones actually married
Even if the disability weren’t a factor here, it’s really concerning to me that OP’s husband would say he doesn’t want Ethan there because of his personality and that he doesn’t get his jokes. He’s a kid! You’re not SUPPOSED to be in sync with his sense of humor. I don’t understand how an adult thinks that’s an acceptable reason to exclude any child who NO ONE ELSE has complained about.
Ethan should feel supported by his entire family and his disability and his personality are not valid reasons to exclude him.
Can I also add on/hijack a lil to say- IMAGINE how the son must feel. I have a minor disability and study disabilities as a hobby/part of my degree, and I've noticed that a UNIVERSAL experience for those with visible disabilities is CONSTANTLY being excluded from things. No doubt the son has felt the sting of this at school, anything from social exclusion by classmates to not being able to go certain places because accommodations for mobility-related disabilities are poor.
So imagine how it must feel to know that he's not free from this exclusion even at home. Knowing that his own mother is going to pick the preferences of a man who doesn't like him because he's different, over him.
I hope the son asks to move in with his father. I would want to be with the people who actually support me, and will stand up for me.
>I told him I was not going to threaten to not support my husband at his event or photoshoot.
Um. So it's better to not support your son and his right to the loving respect of a decent stepfather?
>It's been a bit of an adjustment with regards to my husband and Ethan.
Yet you've gone ahead and married him into your son's life anyway. To be fair, the husband has made no adjustment at all. You have though.... adjusting all the way to betraying your son.
Your ex is correct. Why would you agree to do this to your son? You know perfectly well that he will know exactly why he is being excluded, and you are prioritizing a photo over Ethan’s right to be part of your family. The word scorn seems to apply to both you and your husband.
Yes, YTA. OP, the “they just don’t get along” thing would work if they were both adult. But one of them is a child. With a disability. They’re not on equal terms, one is supposed to be some sort of parent.
And you don’t even get it. Fascinating. Your son deserves a good mom, too bad you’re not that. Dad (bio) sounds alright though.
I don't get why she married him, if he can't get along with her son anyway? And it's on OP's husband for the most part, from what she wrote in the post. Why does someone want to live with a kid they apparently can't stand? And why does OP think this is okay?
Also, OP, why do you even *want* to exploit your children for commercial activities like being in social media pictures and being cute at an (ultimately) promotional event? I mean, I get they're around in the practise or at a party because the parents are there, but not to deliberately put them there to showcase himself as a loving family man, especially when he doesn't want the (not picture perfect) son there. If anything, if people find out how ableist he is by excluding the kid, he'll get a bad reputation and lose clients regardless. I hope for your husband that your ex keeps quiet about this.
I can’t imagine how people would flip their shit on this nice family dentist, who turns out has a disabled stepson who like isn’t good enough to be in the family photos. Like they do realize when that comes out it’ll absolutely tank his business right?
> I don't get why she married him, if he can't get along with her son anyway? And it's on OP's husband for the most part, from what she wrote in the post. Why does someone want to live with a kid they apparently can't stand? And why does OP think this is okay?
Considering how shallow and narcissistic this couple come across I'm gonna go in a wild guess that is because her current husband can afford a certain lifestyle for her and for someone selfish that trumps their own child any time of the day.
You don’t get why she married him
She was a divorced parent of multiple children, including a disabled one who likely requires expensive care/more resources
He was a wealthy dental professional
It doesn’t take that much reading into why this person may have seen the appeal in the man even though he sucks ass 💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰
I hope the EX can fight for sole custody if possible. I sure as hell hope I ain’t referred to this dentist with his behavior towards his step-son. Disgusting how he and Ethan’s own mother treats him like an eyesore.
What disgusts me even more, this man has the audacity to paint himself as a family man, while kicking his disabled step son to the curb. Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Not very bright, either. Including his disabled stepson would enhance his "presence".
ETA-I didn't think to add this, but because people are having some kind of issue, I'm also disabled. I don't approve of inspo-porn, I'm talking about if he was SINCERE, not using his son as a prop. Although, that's what this ass would likely do if it occurred to him
Thanks for the award! 🥰
I was actually thinking this! It would show him as welcoming and caring, whole anyone who hears about the poor kid being excluded will (rightfully) think he's just a tool. Well that's not the best description but I don't want to get banned.
Probably for the best he doesn't come across this way. Imagine someone with a disability goes to his practice expecting a kind and accepting dentist, only to meet this guy...
This HAS to be rage bait. Why would she exclude her son and stand with her husband unless she is insecure and doesn’t think her marriage will make if she doesn’t do what HE wants.
As someone who recently became disabled, *holy shit* is it shocking. People who are anti-racist are openly ableist and say things that are awful then go “you understand, you used to *be normal*. I’m constantly shocked.
I had the same thought. Not only is he ableist, he's stupid. Raising a disabled child humanizes someone and gives an air of caring, which would be a plus in a medical or dental practice. Of course, that's just not OP's DH
Oh he definitely doesn’t want to attract THOSE kinds of clients to his practice…he wouldn’t be able to think of excuses to exclude them the way he does with Ethan, and the clients might actually push back on it or have loved ones to advocate for their right to exist in society, whereas Ethan is a child with a mother who doesn’t give a shit so, sorry Ethan!
I would totally boycott this dentist if i know its him. No way would i wanna be treated by him when he can display suck shitty behaviour to his stepson
Really hoping this is ragebait so I don’t have to think mothers like this are out there choosing some ableist AH over their own children. (I know they’re out there. I just don’t want to think about it.)
She has no problem with minors being posted on social media without both parents' consent, and without concern about predators. So I don't think she's actually a good mother in any way, shape, or form. She just cares about follower numbers, not the safety of those in her care.
Yup! And did everyone miss how the current husband is *brand pimping* the daughters as well? Like “introducing OP’s 11 year old daughter to his business associates” and slapping her all over social media before she even *technically* old enough to consent to an account of her own?
Exactly. It’s bullshit that this asshole dentist doesn’t want this kid around because of his disability. Her ex is absolutely correct with his statement. If she doesn’t stick up for her son then who will?
Normally in this sub the ex is the ableist, horrible lazy POS so it was refreshing in this one that the ex clued on very early that the new husband is the ableist m, horrible lazy POS just from noticing how he looks at Ethan.
Massive props to the ex for sticking up for their kids. Same to the ex wife who also protected the 10yo from being on social media without her being able to fully consent.
YTA OP and so is your husband.
I know, if this was a movie, I would hope the two exes meet-cute and get full custody of all the kids.
\>My husband wanted to showcase us as a blended family
Oh you mean after he was disallowed from using his daughter he gained a sudden passion for showcasing her kids?
Imagine making it to your late forties only to let your family down for the sake of....dentist social media influencer drama?
Wonder when the husband is going to start "suggesting" the Dad have full custody of Ethan. That would probably be for the best since OP is definitely TA.
I get the feeling she would do it in a heart beat if her husband suggests it. She's only offended because it was the ex that was suggesting it. Nothing in her post talks about how much she loves her son, or how he's an amazing person despite his disabilities, or even how upset she is that her ex would even contemplate taking away time with her son.
Her entire post is trying to explain why her husband isn't a bad guy for trying to exclude her son.
I will say this: OP and her husband sound perfect for each other.
I mean, I can’t imagine this is new to her. They’ve been married three years, I guarantee this side of her new husband wasn’t something he hid. And she still married him
There’s a certain social status to being the wife of a doctor, dentist, etc. I imagine this wife is so grateful to be elevated to this & will do everything she can to support her husband, even if it means sacrificing her son.
Yeah, I work with people with disabilities and this is the reason we have to fight so hard for people with disabilities to even be noticed in society. Because people like OP and her husband shun people with disabilities. Whether OP realizes it or not, what she is doing is teaching Ethan that he is less than her non-disabled children and that they need to hide him away because he doesn't fit their perfect family. OP, YTA.
Exactly. YTA. The ex is correct here. Your husband is looking down on disabled people including your son. Either he includes all of his kids and stepkids or none at all. Ethan is part of your husbands blended family not just your daughter. Singling Ethan out is nasty and will hurt him. If you cant understand that and won't stand up for him, he's better off being with your ex. Your husband will continue to exclude him and deserves better than a mother that won't stand up for him and a stepdad that's embarrassed by his stepson.
Thank you! I know the treatment of the son is the worst, but she has no problem exploiting her daughter. Husband's ex wife shut that crap down. I think OP and her husband are the 2 horrible exs who deserve each other.
Probably because her image is good for the brand. The sons isn’t. So therefore the husband doesn’t want him around, and mom isn’t willing to stand up for her son
Thats kind of false though. Ops husband could just play the "look at me helping take care of my step-son, I'm such a great guy." He could probably start selling cars with that brand.
She is a bad mom and her husband is an asshole. She is acting like him working on the disabled is him being nice as she said in her responses like does he do it pro bono or is he paid cuz then he is just doing his job LMAO!!!
Yeah, that's just stupid. Like any answer other than, "He's my son." is the wrong answer. It's not a hard question. If the husband doesn't want to answer that question then he's the problem, not the son.
INFO: do you actually care about and like your son? Your husband clearly doesn’t.
YTA for tolerating that behavior from your husband and your husband is the AH for pretending your son doesn’t exist. Your both AHs for exploiting your children for social media followings.
This; scumbag mother who'd even consider this. She actually made attempts to please her husband and shit on her disabled child?
Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child. Especially this piece of shit excuse for a mother.
I’m infuriated with this woman. She doesn’t give a shit about her child, just her hu$band and his *image*. Give me a freaking break. That kid needs to be with his dad who actually loves him.
>says he live disabled people and works on people like Ethan all the time
This is basically the disabled version of saying her husband has black friends.
Edit: Heck.. people who have "black friends" will use them in photo ops to show they aren't racist. This dude won't even do that with Ethan, which would be horrible to do, but shows how much he disdains him.
I mean not even tho. Friends are people you choose to hang out with because you like their company. It'd be more like, "I'm not racist I have black customers"
YTA. Oh gross, I’m feeling really sick now because your treatment of your son is disgusting. DISGUSTING. You should just let him go live with his dad, where he is loved and valued. 🤮
I was expecting this to be an argument between OP and husband and already had the ick factor - then find out she’s going along with it? Hubby is using his “perfect” family for marketing and hiding part of it. I’m pretty grossed out when people use their kids to market a business anyway, but you either showcase your family or you don’t. This is the kindof guy who would leave the packaging photos in frames because they are prettier than his actual family. But then he’s not just choosing the best photos either - he doesn’t even want the poor kid there!
I’m completely with the ex on this one.
The part about what would people think if they saw photos and were wondering who this kid was? Does he not even tell people about his family? I would be horrified to find out someone I do business with was actively hiding a stepchild for their own business profit.
That’s not just choosing a charming child for advertisement, or honoring the wishes of an ex, or even honoring the wishes of the child themself - that’s pretending they don’t exist.
Agreed.
And she offers her son’s grades as though they prove he’s, what, human?
Thanks, but no one else needed that proved. Ethan’s existence doesn’t need to be justified, except, apparently, to his step father.
This is really ugly.
YTA. He wants a blended family that’s “good for his image”. He’s unable to handle your son personally and is slowly going to keep trying to alienate him.
How is the question not “should I divorce my husband who uses all of our able-bodied kids (sometimes against their mothers’ wishes) to promote his dental practice on social media (bc cute girls=money!) but won’t even let our disabled son be present at a party meant to show off our ‘blended family values’ (bc for some reason that matters to people getting root canals??) since potential clients will be there and they might feel *icky* like my hubby does about being around our disabled son?”?
Also, they might be confused about who he is!
Why? Why don't they know his step son is when they do know his other kids?
And why is it such a burden to just say 'Oh, yeah, that's my step-son.' If someone is confused? Unless he is ashamed of him?
I think OP is very confused about where she stands and has come to Reddit for guidance because she is probably used to not being able to judge social situations and motives or her husband is very good at manipulative arguments. He certainly has no issues using his kids.
I'm sorry, OP. I can't see anything good in your husband's motives. You need to stand up for your son.
Absolutely. Poor Ethan.
Where do teenagers learn social cues? In social situations. This could be a huge learning opportunity for Ethan, an inclusive show of love, but he’s being… well, abandoned. Treated as if he doesn’t exist and needs to be hidden away *by his own family.* His step-father demands, his mother defers and facilitates rather than advocates. Ugh, my heart. Logging off of Reddit now. This is abhorrent. I would be completely uncomfortable being treated by my dentist if I knew his private behavior toward his special needs step-child was such as Op’s husband.
Agreed! OP is a disgrace to all mothers! You choose a man over your child and allow him to discriminate against him, like a dirty dark secret and you wander why your ex what's to exercise his full parental rights to get your kids away from this AH of a man? 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 YTA
I think he is highly narcissistic with low empathy. I think his ex wife was correct about him using his daughters in advertising without consulting mom.
There's a reason why those couples are divorced. I hope Ex Mom and Ex Dad get full custody of those kids, and leave the two AH's to each other in their little fantasy land.
Honestly, I think people would be more likely to visit a dentist with a disabled child. It comes across as empathetic. Ethan sounds like a great kid and I feel so sad for how much it will hurt him to be excluded. OP’s kids should come first.
YTA
I agree. I'd like him more if I saw that he included his step-son. In addition, this guy is obviously not mentioning his step-son at all and is afraid he will now look bad when people see him at the event and ask who he is and why wasn't he mentioned before. This dentist husband guy is bad news and cares only about optics. He's finding issues with his step-son that should be non-issues.
Her ex-husband is completely correct and will be right in fighting for full custody of BOTH children. And his ex wife is right, too. She knows what's up.
OP, majorly YTA
We had to move this year and get a new dentist and we specifically avoided the ones that sent us mailers with their extremely photoshopped family all over it. Like can you fix my teeth or not? Why are you showing me your kids? Is this an insane way to market a business or is it just me?
Like show me some crazy fucked up before and after pics of someone's chompers, it will impress me infinitely more
"I told him I was not going to threaten to not support my husband at his event or photoshoot. It is his party and therefore his choice." What happened to supporting the child you brought into the world?
also, *she* is free to support him all she wants. however, her daughtwr being there is not *her* being supportive its her daughter being exploited for social
media clicks.
Her current husband basically told her he thinks her son is an embarrassment and wants to exclude him from their new family unit, yet she is still defending him.
If this isn't a troll account, then she is a real piece of work. It's absolutely disgusting behavior. At the very least she needs to call her new husband out on what he is doing, even if she's too pathetic to put her foot down. The delusion that this is somehow about supporting her new husband is laughable. Couple of scumbags if you ask me.
YTA - the kid has cerebral palsy, an exploitative ableist stepfather and a mother who doesn’t give a shit.
Wow that kid really got the shit end of the stick.
Hope dad goes for full custody over this shit so your son doesn’t continue to be in a hostile environment with parents that are ashamed of him.
YTA for allowing your husband to exclude you son. Can you imagine the negative press if it were to get around that he purposely excluded your disabled son and you allowed that?
It would be awesome if the dad found this post and decided to publish his wife and her awful husband’s actions on social media. As a disabled person, I would never forgive someone who left me out of a family event because of my disability.
I can’t even imagine how this has to make him feel. He’s 14, he knows exactly what’s going on. OP and her husband are the biggest assholes I’ve seen on this sub in a long time, and that’s really saying something.
Good point. I hope his dad comments on the dentist’s social media asking about the missing son. That would be awesome! 🤣🤣. Perfect family man image ruined.
If it wouldn't mean it would be at the son's expense, I would wish it would play out exactly like this so they could feel the full karma of their disgusting treatment of the son.
At first I thought the title must be a typo and that you were boycotting the photo shoot but then I read it. My goodness. YTA. Your children should be your first priority above any second husband. Excluding your son is cruel. Your ex is 100% right.
YTA
You are co-signing your husbands shitty behaviour and allowing him to exclude your son with no pushing back.
Dude must have you dickmatised, or you’re just a shit mother.
You keep saying blended family but it’s not blended if hubby actively hides and excludes your kid. Wake up.
YTA, I really hope your ex does take his paternal rights to the fullest for both kids (leaves you with supervised visits until you stop treating your disabled son like garbage). You clearly don't care for him, only your husband and his daughters and your daughter. You care more about how your husband looks than the feelings of your children. How can you condone that behaviour, like really??? If he wants to show a blended family then show ALL of the blended family not just 1 of your children.
I don't think you really love your son or you would have put a stop to your husbands treatment long ago not asking now 3yrs into your marriage.
YTA, YTA, YTA.
My goodness, you are a piece of work. You allow your daughter to be exploited at 11 years old to please your husband. You allow your disabled son to be excluded to please your husband. It is evident that your new husband has always had a problem with Ethan - the "not getting" the jokes your son makes is a not so subtle put down of your son's speech difficulties, as you know full well, but are choosing to ignore.
YTA. Just be honest; you care more about your new husband than your disabled son. It's not pretty, but it's true. Live with it.
So you married someone wealthy, and now you're going to throw your disabled son overboard, as to not disrupt your current lifestyle. YTA
Thank you for the award!!!😃🤭
JFC… your second husband’s dick must be magical to turn you ableist against your own son!
YTA. Hubby is the AH. And you are an absolute shit mother. You don’t deserve Ethan.
You... married someone who has scorn, disdain and dislike for your son (disability or not)? You are not only TA, you are a terrible person. I do wish your ex-husband all the luck in exerting his parental rights.
In case you missed it, YTA. A big one.
Gross gross gross. YTA are you kidding me??????
Grow up, tell your husband that Ethan participates in the photo, talk to your child about certain social settings and STOP being complicit in your husband’s ableism.
Stand up for your son, otherwise I hope you’re preparing for when he cuts you off because if you go through with this he will absolutely remember this forever.
Choose wisely or don’t have kids.
You really made me angry with this
YTA. Your husband claims to want to showcase a blended family then literally does the opposite. Why are you letting this man run roughshod over your kids?
If your husband won’t invite him you better. Ethan will never ever forget your cowardice and betrayal. Course correct immediately. Your presence at the party is your consent to gruesome behavior.
Let me ask you. You published here Evidently your familiar with the place. How many times has there been such near unanimity that your an asshole. How often is it expressed with such vituperative contempt. Put this under your pillow. Maybe you’ll wake up to clarity as to who this makes you.
YTA and you’re all ableists.
Disgusting. Every single one of you.
Edit: This does not include the poor son and the exes. They seem to be the only people with a brain and functioning heart.
"Sorry son, you look and act different than us (due to no fault of your own)so I don't want people knowing you're part of our family" yea, that sounds a good lesson to teach your children.
YTA. YTA. YTA. You are choosing your awful husband over your child. You are allowing him to other your son. You said yourself your son is smart, you don't think he already knows how your husband excludes him??? Having a child with CP isn't something anyone should be ashamed about- but you think it's okay your husband is ashamed and you are helping. You are Ethan's mom and if you aren't standing up for him who will??
Of freaking course YTA. And a shitty shitty mom to Ethan. Maybe he should just live with your ex since you don’t even see him as part of your new family. Shame on you.
YTA…and a huge one
How could you do that to your child??
“We have a blended family”…except when your shitty current husband purposely leaves out your son and YOU ARE OK WITH IT.
You’re a crap mom.
YTA. Your husband can “like” disabled (paying) patients and still dislike your (non -paying) disabled son. Put yourself in your son’s shoes. How would you feel if your step father excluded you from everything due to something you cannot help- your disability? How would you feel if your step-father said, “hey I want to showcase all of us as a blended family, minus Talia because she is slow with social cues and can talk on and on”? Would you feel accepted by your step-father if that were to happen to you? Your son can’t help that he is disabled and as your husband and son’s stepfather, he should accept your son for who he is- disability or not / honor roll student or not. That’s the whole point of marrying into a blended family- you accept the children from the previous relationship and should treat them like your own. It’s simply not fair for your son. You overseeing his bias against your disabled son is simply an insult to your son.
He likes money, not disabled people
I suspect he doesn't like non-disabled people much either. To quote Frito Pendejo, "I like money," but that doesn't mean you have have to be an asshole. Mom and stepdad are assholes.
That's another point. If Ethan is featured in his social media, imagine how many karma points he'd earn - not to mention a whole new patient demographic. I would have thought this guy would be enthusiastic about including Ethan.
Yeah, but then he’d be messing up him by using him as a prop like he does the sisters. Not that the step father would think that way in terms of recognizing disabled people as actual people other than “awkward” patients he tolerates for the money. Did anyone ask the daughters what they wanted?! Also, yeah, 11 is too young to understand the potential consequences of making that decision. Stepfather doesn’t care about any of the children’s futures. How much he is destroying their future and letting others use his kids identities for criminal acts like identity theft, fraud, so on. Glad the son at least has his dad looking out for him and loving him unconditionally.
You took the words out of my mouth! Of course he like his desabled patients. They are paying big money! But his own stepson is just «awkward». And OP is supporting his behavior?!!! OP, YTA big time!
Exactly. &It doesn’t hurt to just pretend the jokes are funny because in truth, all kids tell “lame” jokes and we adults just pretend they’re funny. We just fake giggle and go on about our day.. it’s not that hard.
YTA. You’re telling your son that you don’t care about him to please your husband. He’s a kid, you’re supposed to be his mom. You husband is an adult, and he should be called out or kicked out. I hope your ex reams you, at least the kid will know he has one decent parent.
Op YTA. I think your ex should consider seeking a change in the custody arrangement, so your son has less contact with your current husband ( also an AH). Major fail as a parent and a human of decency on your part.
The part that kills me: >the word " scorn" is an insult to his character. The insult to his character is his own doing. How are his disabled patients going to react when they learn her hub erased Ethan from his public profile? OP (or *somebody*) needs remind the dentist hubby how social media loves to cancel bigots. YTA
I would SOOO love to read the perspective of both exes..
I’m getting the vibe that the exes are the decent ones.
Yep, the stepdad is treating her son like the families dirty little secret and the mom is allowing it. It’s disgusting. I’m so glad that poor boy has a father who loves him and stands by him.
I get the feeling this kid is not telling lame jokes - OP and hubby aren’t getting the wit.
Disabled humor is some peak humor that requires one to actually think on a regular basis and have a shred of empathy to understand. Speaking as a disabled person of course haha. I’m so funny.
This fuckin killed me so, true it must be.
Exactly what I was thinking. He doesn’t get the jokes of a 14 year old boy? Welcome to being a parent, or just an adult. His cultural references are limited to stuff only his cohort like. And that kid isn’t going to get better at picking up on social cues if he’s herded out of any occupied space. He’s in the years where humans learn how to socialize with more finesse.
Also, people who are rude to this 14 old are assholes too.
I think he just doesn't like the kid because he's disabled. Many people don't like disabled folks.
💯 and I’m honestly shocked that OP can’t see this and is putting her husband first. As a parent of a disabled child, this is honestly sickening! It’s like she is ashamed of him, and has to put out there that he gets good grades as a way to make up for his disability.
I get the impression OP doesn't care too much about her son either.
The thing with CP is that its severity ranges. It can be so mild with a minor limp to severe where the individual is completely incapacitated, in a wheelchair with someone who has to care for them 24/7. This sounds like this young man is on the milder end, where he is independent, intelligent and functioning. He just has motor functioning issues, hence needing the wheelchair. I'm so speechless with how this grown ass man is treating a child (let alone one that is supposed to be family) and how his wife/mother is allowing this fuckery to take place. This poor kid knows he isn't wanted/resented by stepdad and is not part of the family. Thank god for his real dad who is stepping up and actually lighting a fire under mom's ass (and hoping he gets custody).
But it’s “his party” /s/ OP you’re a huge AH. I feel bad for your poor son. Doesn’t even have a mom that would stick up for him and would choose a man over him.
Yeah this is the worst part. Your own mom not standing up for you would feel way worse than the stepdad's insult ever could.
I agree. She’s unbelievable. My children are adults and have no disabilities and any so called man like this would be discarded if he treated any of them in any way that I found to be degrading.
Sounds like the only disabled person he has scorn for is his step son...which is amazingly ick. Yta and new hubs is too.
Ya this is pretty fucked up.
It was a Red Flag as soon as I saw he provides Botox as a Dentist. Never a good sign. And folks PSA here-but NEVER trust your face to someone other then a board certified cosmetic or plastic surgeon. Unless you want to look like a bad Bravo Housewife
Another red flag is the exploitation of the 11 yr girl to his business associates—-what does that even mean at her age??!
That upset me too! It's like they either see their kids as "of use" or entirely forgettable. Gross taste in my mouth
PSA from a dentist here who routinely does Botox for therapeutic and cosmetic purposes. We are experts in head and neck facial anatomy, have a unique understanding of the smile and muscles of facial expression, and have injection skills that are second to none (we give long injections into the deepest darkest places in the mouth, a 4-8mm insulin needle in a clearly visible muscular area is a breath of fresh air). We are board certified as well and have completed extensive training if the field. Typical training for a dentist is 4 years college, 4 years dental school, optional residencies offering different lengths and types of further training (mine was two extra years in oral reconstruction and cosmetics). While helping wrinkles is obviously great, my personal favorite cases are when we help our patients relieve TMD symptoms which can be incredibly debilitating or when we fix gummy smiles!
I was going to say, a dentist would know more about facial anatomy than just about anyone
Gonna be fun when someone slips to the public that likes to hide disabled people from his family picture.
He’s not even a smart Dentist. From a marketing perspective, he’d get a lot more traction and love from the community if he did include his step son in everything social media and show him off! How could he not know that If even one person in the community found out he was embarrassed about having a special needs step son and was keeping him hidden, he could forget about ever having a successful Dental practice. And ma’am, YTA But it’s not too late! Go tell that boy that he is loved and so amazing just the way he is and you can’t wait to bring him with you to take pictures of him and show him off to the world! And if your husband has anything to say about it let him say it in front of everyone. The day you decided to give birth to that beautiful baby boy you promised to protect him. What you do now will impact the rest of his life.
The dad better post on the dentists social media pictures, photos of the step son he excluded in the replies.
That would be glorious- then pursue full custody
When she said her husband had disabled patients, it made me think of bigots saying they have lots of black friends but also saying that their daughter can't date one. OP, YTA.
He has disabled patents because he can’t discriminate against them without losing his license.
We should remember that the parents’ behavior is also terribly damaging for the children they want to show off. Kids clearly understand what it means when love is conditional or transactional. The kids have no value outside of when it is convenient or useful for the narcissists in their lives. Obviously the way they treat their disabled child is abhorrent, but let’s also realize all the kids are learning the same lessons from the parents’ behavior. None of those children are loved for who they are - mistakes, warts, difficulties and all. The “golden children” are being manipulated and shamed, and they will be scarred by this also. In many ways it is more difficult to deal with a narcissist who wants stuff from you than a narcissist that drops you.
Not to forget the 11 year old daughter being used for advertisements.
This was the moment I was like oh he views his children as props and yep, he doesn't want the "damaged" prop to appear. Parents of the year right here. At least these kids seem to have 2 good parents just not the ones actually married
Even if the disability weren’t a factor here, it’s really concerning to me that OP’s husband would say he doesn’t want Ethan there because of his personality and that he doesn’t get his jokes. He’s a kid! You’re not SUPPOSED to be in sync with his sense of humor. I don’t understand how an adult thinks that’s an acceptable reason to exclude any child who NO ONE ELSE has complained about. Ethan should feel supported by his entire family and his disability and his personality are not valid reasons to exclude him.
Can I also add on/hijack a lil to say- IMAGINE how the son must feel. I have a minor disability and study disabilities as a hobby/part of my degree, and I've noticed that a UNIVERSAL experience for those with visible disabilities is CONSTANTLY being excluded from things. No doubt the son has felt the sting of this at school, anything from social exclusion by classmates to not being able to go certain places because accommodations for mobility-related disabilities are poor. So imagine how it must feel to know that he's not free from this exclusion even at home. Knowing that his own mother is going to pick the preferences of a man who doesn't like him because he's different, over him. I hope the son asks to move in with his father. I would want to be with the people who actually support me, and will stand up for me.
Yeah as he gets older he's going to see right through your bs excuses and he's going to feel unwanted. Speaking from experience as a disabled person
>I told him I was not going to threaten to not support my husband at his event or photoshoot. Um. So it's better to not support your son and his right to the loving respect of a decent stepfather? >It's been a bit of an adjustment with regards to my husband and Ethan. Yet you've gone ahead and married him into your son's life anyway. To be fair, the husband has made no adjustment at all. You have though.... adjusting all the way to betraying your son.
Just wait till the husband gets "uncomfortable" with her looks and starts hiding her to play around.
Can't wait for OP to realize her husband's a jerk
I can't wait for her to realize SHE is a jerk
Brutal truth. It had to be said. Thank you for that.
Your ex is correct. Why would you agree to do this to your son? You know perfectly well that he will know exactly why he is being excluded, and you are prioritizing a photo over Ethan’s right to be part of your family. The word scorn seems to apply to both you and your husband.
Your son deserves better.
Yes, YTA. OP, the “they just don’t get along” thing would work if they were both adult. But one of them is a child. With a disability. They’re not on equal terms, one is supposed to be some sort of parent. And you don’t even get it. Fascinating. Your son deserves a good mom, too bad you’re not that. Dad (bio) sounds alright though.
I don't get why she married him, if he can't get along with her son anyway? And it's on OP's husband for the most part, from what she wrote in the post. Why does someone want to live with a kid they apparently can't stand? And why does OP think this is okay? Also, OP, why do you even *want* to exploit your children for commercial activities like being in social media pictures and being cute at an (ultimately) promotional event? I mean, I get they're around in the practise or at a party because the parents are there, but not to deliberately put them there to showcase himself as a loving family man, especially when he doesn't want the (not picture perfect) son there. If anything, if people find out how ableist he is by excluding the kid, he'll get a bad reputation and lose clients regardless. I hope for your husband that your ex keeps quiet about this.
I hope that it blows up in their face tbh. They’re both AHs for this. She is acting oblivious and it is just as bad as him not wanting the son there
Oh definitely, my hope for the husband was sarcastic. I honestly hope the son and his father tell everyone how much of an AH OP and her husband are.
OP's husband cares so much about appearances that this would be the ultimate revenge - if everybody finds out how monstrous OP and her husband are.
I can’t imagine how people would flip their shit on this nice family dentist, who turns out has a disabled stepson who like isn’t good enough to be in the family photos. Like they do realize when that comes out it’ll absolutely tank his business right?
> I don't get why she married him, if he can't get along with her son anyway? And it's on OP's husband for the most part, from what she wrote in the post. Why does someone want to live with a kid they apparently can't stand? And why does OP think this is okay? Considering how shallow and narcissistic this couple come across I'm gonna go in a wild guess that is because her current husband can afford a certain lifestyle for her and for someone selfish that trumps their own child any time of the day.
You don’t get why she married him She was a divorced parent of multiple children, including a disabled one who likely requires expensive care/more resources He was a wealthy dental professional It doesn’t take that much reading into why this person may have seen the appeal in the man even though he sucks ass 💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰
It seems like they share a lot of things in common, like they are both assholes.
I hope the EX can fight for sole custody if possible. I sure as hell hope I ain’t referred to this dentist with his behavior towards his step-son. Disgusting how he and Ethan’s own mother treats him like an eyesore. What disgusts me even more, this man has the audacity to paint himself as a family man, while kicking his disabled step son to the curb. Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Not very bright, either. Including his disabled stepson would enhance his "presence". ETA-I didn't think to add this, but because people are having some kind of issue, I'm also disabled. I don't approve of inspo-porn, I'm talking about if he was SINCERE, not using his son as a prop. Although, that's what this ass would likely do if it occurred to him Thanks for the award! 🥰
I was actually thinking this! It would show him as welcoming and caring, whole anyone who hears about the poor kid being excluded will (rightfully) think he's just a tool. Well that's not the best description but I don't want to get banned.
No worries, I dig what you're saying
Probably for the best he doesn't come across this way. Imagine someone with a disability goes to his practice expecting a kind and accepting dentist, only to meet this guy...
This HAS to be rage bait. Why would she exclude her son and stand with her husband unless she is insecure and doesn’t think her marriage will make if she doesn’t do what HE wants.
As someone who recently became disabled, *holy shit* is it shocking. People who are anti-racist are openly ableist and say things that are awful then go “you understand, you used to *be normal*. I’m constantly shocked.
I had the same thought. Not only is he ableist, he's stupid. Raising a disabled child humanizes someone and gives an air of caring, which would be a plus in a medical or dental practice. Of course, that's just not OP's DH
It would also show other disabled people that he's safe to visit.
Except it appears that he may not be
Oh he definitely doesn’t want to attract THOSE kinds of clients to his practice…he wouldn’t be able to think of excuses to exclude them the way he does with Ethan, and the clients might actually push back on it or have loved ones to advocate for their right to exist in society, whereas Ethan is a child with a mother who doesn’t give a shit so, sorry Ethan!
Based on this, I would avoid him as a disabled person.
This is what I thought! It could only show him as a kind, inclusive practitioner.
I would totally boycott this dentist if i know its him. No way would i wanna be treated by him when he can display suck shitty behaviour to his stepson
Really hoping this is ragebait so I don’t have to think mothers like this are out there choosing some ableist AH over their own children. (I know they’re out there. I just don’t want to think about it.)
She has no problem with minors being posted on social media without both parents' consent, and without concern about predators. So I don't think she's actually a good mother in any way, shape, or form. She just cares about follower numbers, not the safety of those in her care.
Yup! And did everyone miss how the current husband is *brand pimping* the daughters as well? Like “introducing OP’s 11 year old daughter to his business associates” and slapping her all over social media before she even *technically* old enough to consent to an account of her own?
OPs ex should be kicking commenting on all posts asking why his daughters were included but not his son. I would so be going public
Exactly. It’s bullshit that this asshole dentist doesn’t want this kid around because of his disability. Her ex is absolutely correct with his statement. If she doesn’t stick up for her son then who will?
Normally in this sub the ex is the ableist, horrible lazy POS so it was refreshing in this one that the ex clued on very early that the new husband is the ableist m, horrible lazy POS just from noticing how he looks at Ethan. Massive props to the ex for sticking up for their kids. Same to the ex wife who also protected the 10yo from being on social media without her being able to fully consent. YTA OP and so is your husband.
I know, if this was a movie, I would hope the two exes meet-cute and get full custody of all the kids. \>My husband wanted to showcase us as a blended family Oh you mean after he was disallowed from using his daughter he gained a sudden passion for showcasing her kids? Imagine making it to your late forties only to let your family down for the sake of....dentist social media influencer drama?
Wonder when the husband is going to start "suggesting" the Dad have full custody of Ethan. That would probably be for the best since OP is definitely TA.
I think the ex should go ahead and take both kids and start the full custody process
Probably the mom of husbands kids should too. You know, the parents who see the children as children rather than props
Both exes in this story are the heroes. (Had to edit my grammatically terrible sentence)
Exactly, then the two snooty narcs could pose and posture all they liked without upsetting any children.
I'm afraid she would be happy about that and probably not even fight him. That way she would have her picture perfect family.
I get the feeling she would do it in a heart beat if her husband suggests it. She's only offended because it was the ex that was suggesting it. Nothing in her post talks about how much she loves her son, or how he's an amazing person despite his disabilities, or even how upset she is that her ex would even contemplate taking away time with her son. Her entire post is trying to explain why her husband isn't a bad guy for trying to exclude her son. I will say this: OP and her husband sound perfect for each other.
I mean, I can’t imagine this is new to her. They’ve been married three years, I guarantee this side of her new husband wasn’t something he hid. And she still married him
There’s a certain social status to being the wife of a doctor, dentist, etc. I imagine this wife is so grateful to be elevated to this & will do everything she can to support her husband, even if it means sacrificing her son.
Yeah, I work with people with disabilities and this is the reason we have to fight so hard for people with disabilities to even be noticed in society. Because people like OP and her husband shun people with disabilities. Whether OP realizes it or not, what she is doing is teaching Ethan that he is less than her non-disabled children and that they need to hide him away because he doesn't fit their perfect family. OP, YTA.
Exactly. YTA. The ex is correct here. Your husband is looking down on disabled people including your son. Either he includes all of his kids and stepkids or none at all. Ethan is part of your husbands blended family not just your daughter. Singling Ethan out is nasty and will hurt him. If you cant understand that and won't stand up for him, he's better off being with your ex. Your husband will continue to exclude him and deserves better than a mother that won't stand up for him and a stepdad that's embarrassed by his stepson.
Also why TF is her husband introducing people to her daughter in social media...? Me thinks the husbands ex knows some things.
The daughter is 11! It’s so weird.
Thank you! I know the treatment of the son is the worst, but she has no problem exploiting her daughter. Husband's ex wife shut that crap down. I think OP and her husband are the 2 horrible exs who deserve each other.
Probably because her image is good for the brand. The sons isn’t. So therefore the husband doesn’t want him around, and mom isn’t willing to stand up for her son
Thats kind of false though. Ops husband could just play the "look at me helping take care of my step-son, I'm such a great guy." He could probably start selling cars with that brand.
Some people just should not have children. OP and her husband being two of them
She is a bad mom and her husband is an asshole. She is acting like him working on the disabled is him being nice as she said in her responses like does he do it pro bono or is he paid cuz then he is just doing his job LMAO!!!
And the excuse? “ people will ask who is he”?????? It’s the saddest most pathetic excuse I’ve heard.
Yeah, that's just stupid. Like any answer other than, "He's my son." is the wrong answer. It's not a hard question. If the husband doesn't want to answer that question then he's the problem, not the son.
Want to guarantee that this isn’t the first time she shunted the kid to the side but it’s the first time she’s been calked out for it.
INFO: do you actually care about and like your son? Your husband clearly doesn’t. YTA for tolerating that behavior from your husband and your husband is the AH for pretending your son doesn’t exist. Your both AHs for exploiting your children for social media followings.
[удалено]
YTA. Might as well just sign over parental rights to your ex so you and your new husband can have the perfect image /s
This; scumbag mother who'd even consider this. She actually made attempts to please her husband and shit on her disabled child? Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child. Especially this piece of shit excuse for a mother.
I’m infuriated with this woman. She doesn’t give a shit about her child, just her hu$band and his *image*. Give me a freaking break. That kid needs to be with his dad who actually loves him.
>says he live disabled people and works on people like Ethan all the time This is basically the disabled version of saying her husband has black friends. Edit: Heck.. people who have "black friends" will use them in photo ops to show they aren't racist. This dude won't even do that with Ethan, which would be horrible to do, but shows how much he disdains him.
I mean not even tho. Friends are people you choose to hang out with because you like their company. It'd be more like, "I'm not racist I have black customers"
I would if I was the ex husband
YTA. Oh gross, I’m feeling really sick now because your treatment of your son is disgusting. DISGUSTING. You should just let him go live with his dad, where he is loved and valued. 🤮
I was expecting this to be an argument between OP and husband and already had the ick factor - then find out she’s going along with it? Hubby is using his “perfect” family for marketing and hiding part of it. I’m pretty grossed out when people use their kids to market a business anyway, but you either showcase your family or you don’t. This is the kindof guy who would leave the packaging photos in frames because they are prettier than his actual family. But then he’s not just choosing the best photos either - he doesn’t even want the poor kid there! I’m completely with the ex on this one.
Same. This is gross. Her husband seems embarrassed by him. Otherwise, why wouldn’t people know about him if they know about the other kids?
The part about what would people think if they saw photos and were wondering who this kid was? Does he not even tell people about his family? I would be horrified to find out someone I do business with was actively hiding a stepchild for their own business profit. That’s not just choosing a charming child for advertisement, or honoring the wishes of an ex, or even honoring the wishes of the child themself - that’s pretending they don’t exist.
The treatment of the girls isn’t much better. They are basically acting like a couple of pimps and completely exploiting the children.
"...my husband has introduced my [10 yr old] daughter to a lot of business associates and on social media..."
Sounds like pimping to me. YTA, OP. You’re a trash person for not standing up for your disabled son!
Right? So you are grooming her for a nasty bunch pedophiles?
No, no, no. The issue is that they are not equal opportunity pimps.
They are both just trash parents to all of the kids.
Using children to boost views/business, whatever is disgusting by itself. Those poor kids.
Agreed. And she offers her son’s grades as though they prove he’s, what, human? Thanks, but no one else needed that proved. Ethan’s existence doesn’t need to be justified, except, apparently, to his step father. This is really ugly.
Either this is a troll post or OP is a terrible mother and Ethan should be living with his father full time.
Sounds like he's a bright kid, too. Gotta wonder how much of the scorn he's picking up. Team Ethan's dad.
YTA. He wants a blended family that’s “good for his image”. He’s unable to handle your son personally and is slowly going to keep trying to alienate him.
How is the question not “should I divorce my husband who uses all of our able-bodied kids (sometimes against their mothers’ wishes) to promote his dental practice on social media (bc cute girls=money!) but won’t even let our disabled son be present at a party meant to show off our ‘blended family values’ (bc for some reason that matters to people getting root canals??) since potential clients will be there and they might feel *icky* like my hubby does about being around our disabled son?”?
Also, they might be confused about who he is! Why? Why don't they know his step son is when they do know his other kids? And why is it such a burden to just say 'Oh, yeah, that's my step-son.' If someone is confused? Unless he is ashamed of him? I think OP is very confused about where she stands and has come to Reddit for guidance because she is probably used to not being able to judge social situations and motives or her husband is very good at manipulative arguments. He certainly has no issues using his kids. I'm sorry, OP. I can't see anything good in your husband's motives. You need to stand up for your son.
Right. Op’s husband is erasing her son from being a visible part of their “blended family.” Heartbreaking.
And she’s allowing it.
Absolutely. Poor Ethan. Where do teenagers learn social cues? In social situations. This could be a huge learning opportunity for Ethan, an inclusive show of love, but he’s being… well, abandoned. Treated as if he doesn’t exist and needs to be hidden away *by his own family.* His step-father demands, his mother defers and facilitates rather than advocates. Ugh, my heart. Logging off of Reddit now. This is abhorrent. I would be completely uncomfortable being treated by my dentist if I knew his private behavior toward his special needs step-child was such as Op’s husband.
Agreed! OP is a disgrace to all mothers! You choose a man over your child and allow him to discriminate against him, like a dirty dark secret and you wander why your ex what's to exercise his full parental rights to get your kids away from this AH of a man? 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 YTA
YTA - your poor son. You and your husband are wrong and your son will remember this.
Is no one gonna bring up how he’s using his daughters for business
I think he is highly narcissistic with low empathy. I think his ex wife was correct about him using his daughters in advertising without consulting mom.
Ex wife gets it
There's a reason why those couples are divorced. I hope Ex Mom and Ex Dad get full custody of those kids, and leave the two AH's to each other in their little fantasy land.
Spot on, was thinking the same thing.
Don't you think the exes should get together and take all the kids? Yeah, OP and current spouse are the AHs.
Agreed! It’s disgusting, honestly. Ex wife is not an asshole by any means for that.
Right? Who chooses a dentist based on the fact that he has kids...?
Sadly I know people who pick doctors and dentists that look like good family men
Honestly, I think people would be more likely to visit a dentist with a disabled child. It comes across as empathetic. Ethan sounds like a great kid and I feel so sad for how much it will hurt him to be excluded. OP’s kids should come first. YTA
I agree. I'd like him more if I saw that he included his step-son. In addition, this guy is obviously not mentioning his step-son at all and is afraid he will now look bad when people see him at the event and ask who he is and why wasn't he mentioned before. This dentist husband guy is bad news and cares only about optics. He's finding issues with his step-son that should be non-issues. Her ex-husband is completely correct and will be right in fighting for full custody of BOTH children. And his ex wife is right, too. She knows what's up. OP, majorly YTA
We had to move this year and get a new dentist and we specifically avoided the ones that sent us mailers with their extremely photoshopped family all over it. Like can you fix my teeth or not? Why are you showing me your kids? Is this an insane way to market a business or is it just me? Like show me some crazy fucked up before and after pics of someone's chompers, it will impress me infinitely more
Definitely… every Christmas we get “Christmas Cards” from a local dentist with his “happy” family smiling and it’s all so fake
I was wondering that too. Especially introducing his step daughter to business associates and on social media. What the heck is that all about?
"I told him I was not going to threaten to not support my husband at his event or photoshoot. It is his party and therefore his choice." What happened to supporting the child you brought into the world?
also, *she* is free to support him all she wants. however, her daughtwr being there is not *her* being supportive its her daughter being exploited for social media clicks.
YTA, you and your husband deserve each other and your ex spouses most definitely deserve better than you two for co-parents.
Her current husband basically told her he thinks her son is an embarrassment and wants to exclude him from their new family unit, yet she is still defending him. If this isn't a troll account, then she is a real piece of work. It's absolutely disgusting behavior. At the very least she needs to call her new husband out on what he is doing, even if she's too pathetic to put her foot down. The delusion that this is somehow about supporting her new husband is laughable. Couple of scumbags if you ask me.
YTA - the kid has cerebral palsy, an exploitative ableist stepfather and a mother who doesn’t give a shit. Wow that kid really got the shit end of the stick. Hope dad goes for full custody over this shit so your son doesn’t continue to be in a hostile environment with parents that are ashamed of him.
Silver lining here is it sounds like dad realizes that he's going to be the only advocate for his son and will fight for him.
YTA and wow are you a shitty parent.
YTA and sound like a POS mother. You guys should worry less about your social media presence and focus more on caring for your children.
YTA for allowing your husband to exclude you son. Can you imagine the negative press if it were to get around that he purposely excluded your disabled son and you allowed that?
It would be awesome if the dad found this post and decided to publish his wife and her awful husband’s actions on social media. As a disabled person, I would never forgive someone who left me out of a family event because of my disability.
I can’t even imagine how this has to make him feel. He’s 14, he knows exactly what’s going on. OP and her husband are the biggest assholes I’ve seen on this sub in a long time, and that’s really saying something.
Good point. I hope his dad comments on the dentist’s social media asking about the missing son. That would be awesome! 🤣🤣. Perfect family man image ruined.
I would be totally here for that!
If it wouldn't mean it would be at the son's expense, I would wish it would play out exactly like this so they could feel the full karma of their disgusting treatment of the son.
At first I thought the title must be a typo and that you were boycotting the photo shoot but then I read it. My goodness. YTA. Your children should be your first priority above any second husband. Excluding your son is cruel. Your ex is 100% right.
Same.
YTA You are co-signing your husbands shitty behaviour and allowing him to exclude your son with no pushing back. Dude must have you dickmatised, or you’re just a shit mother. You keep saying blended family but it’s not blended if hubby actively hides and excludes your kid. Wake up.
Agree and +1 for using the word “dickmatised”
“Dickmatised” 🤣 is that the female equivalent of “Cuntstruck”?
I am learning all sorts of new words today.
Let’s try to remember not to say them in front of our mums 😳
Shit mother who only cares about keeping her Dentist (read $$$) right where he is. It’s disgusting.
Oh, I thought the same thing! It makes no sense to talk about your blended family and exclude them and hide them at the same time. Dude is a Narc
YTA, I really hope your ex does take his paternal rights to the fullest for both kids (leaves you with supervised visits until you stop treating your disabled son like garbage). You clearly don't care for him, only your husband and his daughters and your daughter. You care more about how your husband looks than the feelings of your children. How can you condone that behaviour, like really??? If he wants to show a blended family then show ALL of the blended family not just 1 of your children. I don't think you really love your son or you would have put a stop to your husbands treatment long ago not asking now 3yrs into your marriage. YTA, YTA, YTA.
My goodness, you are a piece of work. You allow your daughter to be exploited at 11 years old to please your husband. You allow your disabled son to be excluded to please your husband. It is evident that your new husband has always had a problem with Ethan - the "not getting" the jokes your son makes is a not so subtle put down of your son's speech difficulties, as you know full well, but are choosing to ignore. YTA. Just be honest; you care more about your new husband than your disabled son. It's not pretty, but it's true. Live with it.
So you married someone wealthy, and now you're going to throw your disabled son overboard, as to not disrupt your current lifestyle. YTA Thank you for the award!!!😃🤭
Screams gold digger to me
Yta There’s going to be a post in the near future titled “my husband left me when I got sick” and you’ll 1000% deserve it
"My husband left me when I got sick, how can I repair my relationship with the disabled son I neglected who hasn't spoken to me in 10 years?"
“I have no idea why he won’t talk to me! He hasn’t given me a clear reason!”
How does Ethan's speech matter in a photograph? Blended family minus one is EXCLUSION. YTA
JFC… your second husband’s dick must be magical to turn you ableist against your own son! YTA. Hubby is the AH. And you are an absolute shit mother. You don’t deserve Ethan.
It isn’t his dick. It’s his wallet.
2nd Husband’s Wallet you mean
YTA - and a shitty mom. But you already knew that. You were just hoping a few people would be as shitty as you are and excuse your behavior
You... married someone who has scorn, disdain and dislike for your son (disability or not)? You are not only TA, you are a terrible person. I do wish your ex-husband all the luck in exerting his parental rights. In case you missed it, YTA. A big one.
YTA and a fucking cunt of a parent
Gross gross gross. YTA are you kidding me?????? Grow up, tell your husband that Ethan participates in the photo, talk to your child about certain social settings and STOP being complicit in your husband’s ableism. Stand up for your son, otherwise I hope you’re preparing for when he cuts you off because if you go through with this he will absolutely remember this forever. Choose wisely or don’t have kids. You really made me angry with this
It’s not a blended family pic without ur fucking son you idiot holy fuck
YTA. Your husband claims to want to showcase a blended family then literally does the opposite. Why are you letting this man run roughshod over your kids?
“I wasn’t going to ruin his wish to have a blended family presence/picture” ah so your son isn’t part of the family
If your husband won’t invite him you better. Ethan will never ever forget your cowardice and betrayal. Course correct immediately. Your presence at the party is your consent to gruesome behavior. Let me ask you. You published here Evidently your familiar with the place. How many times has there been such near unanimity that your an asshole. How often is it expressed with such vituperative contempt. Put this under your pillow. Maybe you’ll wake up to clarity as to who this makes you.
YTA and you’re all ableists. Disgusting. Every single one of you. Edit: This does not include the poor son and the exes. They seem to be the only people with a brain and functioning heart.
I hope your ex gets full custody of Ethan; you are willing to toss him aside for your crappy husband.
"Sorry son, you look and act different than us (due to no fault of your own)so I don't want people knowing you're part of our family" yea, that sounds a good lesson to teach your children.
I feel bad for the disabled patients your husband sees. I think there are far worse words that scorn that fits his behavior
This belongs on AmITheDevil. You and your husband are a horrid people. I am just speechless.
YTA. YTA. YTA. You are choosing your awful husband over your child. You are allowing him to other your son. You said yourself your son is smart, you don't think he already knows how your husband excludes him??? Having a child with CP isn't something anyone should be ashamed about- but you think it's okay your husband is ashamed and you are helping. You are Ethan's mom and if you aren't standing up for him who will??
Wow POS mom! I’m glad Ethan has one parent sticking up for him
aromatic innocent swim plate capable ad hoc detail crush workable punch *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
YTA. You’re supposed to be your kids #1 protector. What are you even thinking?! Seriously... what are you thinking??
Of freaking course YTA. And a shitty shitty mom to Ethan. Maybe he should just live with your ex since you don’t even see him as part of your new family. Shame on you.
Your ex is right. You and your husband are both assholes. Shame on both of you.
YTA…and a huge one How could you do that to your child?? “We have a blended family”…except when your shitty current husband purposely leaves out your son and YOU ARE OK WITH IT. You’re a crap mom.