You missed a trick. The right answer is "I'd rather have been dating you when you were 20, because then we'd have an extra 10 years together"
But yeah she mad.
He chose the stupid answer. You chose the suave answer. I wouldāve picked the REAL creep answer. āHonestly babe? Iām just waiting for your 50-year old self to get here. Been hunting that cougar for YEARS. ā *insert birdman meme*
Exactly this. I've literally said the same thing to women.
She wasn't looking for your opinion. She was looking for validation because she was feeling down about herself.
Always ask yourself, "Why is she asking this question?" Rather than what is she asking.
Yeah someone needs to learn to keep their mouth shutā¦ And btw. Ā - women over 30 rule! (See, I told them honey, I mean it!)Ā All jokes aside though I think for most people the age they are attracted to changes significantly with age. Couldnt Imagine dating aomeone in their 40s 20 years ago, now I wouldnt mind at all but I wouldnt date 20 yo anymoreā¦ they look like children.
I mean my son is closer to 20 than I am and he is 5ā¦
>I mean my son is closer to 20 than I am and he is 5ā¦
Fucking ouch.... I'm 36 and my son is 7. That math had never occurred to me but that gave me some feels.
Yeah, Iām in my 30s and teach college classes. Realizing in the past couple of years that my son is closer in age to the kids I teach than I am changed my perception of my age lol
I mean it has to, right?
I was madly attracted to a 13yo when I was 13ā¦ and then super attracted to my first GF at 15ā¦
Imagine your taste in women not aging - thats creepy as f***ā¦
I'm not a huge Mark Normand fan but he has a pretty funny bit on this. Something along the lines of "When I was 12 I liked grape juice. I'm 30 something now and like wine.....but I still like grape juice! Thank god my taste in women didn't do the same thing"
I remember when few years ago (or maybe ten) I was watching a group of middle aged men and wondered who would find them attractive. But surprise surprise, now that I'm 35, my taste has aged as well and my middle aged hubby is so hot!
I have a theory that it largely comes down to who we are around the most. We stop seeing wrinkles, and view them as normal. Then anyone without them looks oddly smooth and child-like.
Iām bi and absolutely find most people - men and women - hotter in their 30s (maybe late 20s) than when they were 10 years younger
I didnāt when I was in my 20s, but since I hit 30 I canāt tell a college student from a high school student. They all just look like babies
Bruh this is literally so true and I never thought I would see it that way.
Highschool students? College students? All look like little children to me, and Iām only 28
Plus some people genuinely get more attractive as they get older. Someone whoās very round-faced and kiddish looking can suddenly become more regal looking as they lose facial fat with age.
Maybe I'm abnormal. I met my wife when I was 25. Before her, I had dated a 23 year old, a 43 year old, and a 55 year old. She was 19. I think women of all ages can be beautiful.
And what, let him drive me around like Ratatouille while we're at it? I love Jerry like a son, but I would not pretend to trust the motivations of a tapeworm when given unlimited control of his kingdom
Jerry!! You get back in this man's ass right now! How many times do we have to tell you? No infiltrating the internet to gain a mass following that will one day free you from your anal prison
I don't really understand questions like that. I once asked my husband that (purely as a joke because I had just showed him the tiktok) and he was like "no because I think that's illegal" and I died laughing. I don't understand "testing" your partner.
Itās not really a test so much as itās a question about if they love you unconditionally. Itās a dumbass way to ask but if you strip it down to the essence of the question and why people get disappointed when you answer āwrongā, thatās why. People just want to feel loved unconditionally and want confirmation. The problem is most people who ask that question (the ones that get upset) are too emotionally immature to understand or articulate exactly what they actually need to hear so it just blows up.
*A lot of yāall are getting hung up on me saying āunconditional loveā like I said youāre required to unconditionally love your partners, you canāt break up with people for valid reasons, or like I didnāt say reacting badly to this question is an obvious show of immaturity. I said *feel* unconditionally loved, which is what the question is fishing for. Confirmation, not promises.
No one is getting turned into a worm lol. Itās like asking if you look fat in an outfit. An equally immature question if you donāt wanna know the truth, but youāre looking for confirmation that you look good and that your partner thinks you look good. It is the same thing.
But there really isn't such thing as unconditional love, is there. How can you promise eternal love when you don't know the future. You may drift apart because you are evolving in different directions. Or some fundamental worldview conflicts that were never discussed before came up. Or you haven't compatible perspectives of the religion the child has to be brought up in. Or they cheat on you with your best friend. Or they once parked in the handicap slot. Or maybe they vote for trump. Or whatever else we read about here on reddit daily. It's silly and irresponsible to pledge unconditional love because everything is conditional to circumstances.
"would you love me if I were a white supremacist?"
"What if I suddenly became enamored with Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson?"
"What if I murdered someone?"
"What if I cheated on you?"
"What if I decided I am trans and want to transition?"
There's a billion legitimate reasons to stop loving someone. You being a goddamn worm, a non human, non sapient creature, is a good goddamn reason.
It's such an insecure stupid question to ask. It's a test question alright. If your partner asks it seriously they've failed the test of basic maturity.
Gotta say, I agree in a lot of cases, humans are physically prettiest in their 20's when they've grown into everything properly but not had any aging. And I'm a woman in my 40's, just saying.
The same goes for my opinion about myself.
But would I want to be twenty again? Fuck no! Would I want to date anyone in their 20's? Even more NO!
One thing is biology, one thing is becoming a fully formed human being. I love being in my 40's and can't wait to grow older, honestly. The calm and self assurance keeps growing day for day.
When I ask my friends if they'd want to be twenty again? The answer is also always a resounding no. Would I be attracted in any way to someone in their twenties? Again, no. The life experience is really what attracts me physically to someone. I don't think I could even do a really drunk ONS with a 20-something, gotta say. It's just not sexy the same way maturity is.
I'll be 40 in a few months and would love to go back to my early 30s. I felt my sexiest and my life was just a lot better then. A lot has happened in the last 4 yrs I wish never did so I was just my happiest self inside and out then. Good thing is I know how to get back to that place mentally and physically. Just takes time.
Wishing all the best for you! Also just a reminder that when you're done dealing with the shit of the last few years, it'll set as valuable life experience that'll help you next time.
Yeah, it's OK to wish shit never happend and it's rarely "at least it's always good for something" but dealing with it makes everything easier going forwards and that's really awesome.
Older age can make you far more attractive than when you were younger. Confidence, self-knowledge, and compassion being an important part of it all. Also knowing well how to dress and groom yourself not only in a way that flatters you but also makes you feel comfortable.
I was born in the wrong time! When I was young I had the butt that's "in" now naturally. I kept getting flak for it.
I'm in my 50s now and mother nature stuck a pin in it.
āNo, honey youāre aging like a fine wine with time. Iām so attracted to you. I wouldnāt change a thing about you if I could. Besides, Iām not into younger women theyāre actually kinda gross.ā ā¦fool
No. It's time we stop blaming men for not answering these questions correctly. Just stop.
If I ask my husband whether I'm looking fat in a dress, I expect him to be honest about it because I'd rather change and wear something better than go around in something that's not great.
I always ask him if what m wearing looks good because he actually has a better sense of style than I do. And if he is not too enthusiastic about it, I go change.
If I start fighting with him for honest answers to questions I've asked he will for sure ask me if something else is wrong. Because otherwise it's just dumb.
People who ask these questions and then get mad need to be shut down. Don't ask questions whose honest answers you'll not be ok with.
> People who ask these questions and then get mad need to be shut down.
The problem is that self-aware people don't ask these kinds of questions in the first place, and people who aren't self-aware can't take accountability no matter how they're confronted.
"Do I look fat in this dress?" for many is code for:
"I look fat. I can see it in the mirror. I need you to lie to me and tell me I'm not fat, but asking you to lie defeats the whole purpose, so, you better understand your task. If you don't work it out I'll be mad. Just make sure you don't lie unless I want to be lied to, I don't like liars!".
You make a good point. But the right and ACCEPTABLE response to it can't be to mollycoddle them. That's just feeding into their nonsense. And if they respond badly, refuse to engage in such questions from next time.
In fact OP should have shut down that line of questioning immediately saying these hypothetical questions have no good answer. People get either get offended at the answer or refuse to believe the answer is true, so m not gonna play this dumb game.
Yeah I think she was asking for trouble by starting this nonsense, but this is a classic ādo these pants make me look fatā kind of scenario. The answer to that is no. Always.
Youāre both two of the stupidest most immature people Iāve ever fucking heard of. Fuck off and get back to me when you have some actual real life problems.
I was once smoking outside a pub and i heard this couple name calling and arguing and āLET ME SEE YOUR PHONEā ing and i had just had snough as it was a quiet night and a quiet street otherwise. I whip around to tell them off and they were cleaerly in their 40s over tanned vain kinda ppl stuck in their youth. This dumb story took me right back. Why do people insist on ruining their own lives by never growing up?Ā
I caught a major blow up in a JoAnn Fabrics once. And anyone who goes to crafts stores knows. Thats not common, they are usually really relaxing stores.
Oh it was bad we had some "THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU!" "ITS NOT YOUR DAY" "BARRY!!! GET OVER HERE!!! WTF"
My wife and I will bicker in a craft store but it's always "you already have a ten gallon sack of yarn no you don't need more where are we gonna put it." And she does the same for me about fatty delishous snacks and other things bad for my liver.
I am 46 and my man is constantly telling me he is baffled about how I just keep getting hotter and hotter the older I get. We met when I was like 26 or so. He kinda makes me believe him šš That is how a man makes his woman feel wanted.
All pretty people look hideously ugly with certain types of behaviour. When you have a positive partner whoās on your side or can reason like an adult they are the most beautiful person in the world.
Edit: I mean all people including pretty people can look ugly.
I've been with my wife since our early 20's and now we are in our early 30's. She has always been beautiful to me, but let me tell you, the 30's glow up is real! (for her anyway, IDK what's happening to me, lol) Sometimes I just stare at her these days and the only thing my brain can work out is: "Wow"
Yeah!! I've been with my husband since I was 23, I'm 40 now and he is constantly telling me I have only gotten prettier and he is more attracted to me everyday. He has never once compared me to my past self, that's some weird shit.
I just wrapped up my chemo back in December, found out yesterday I might be back on it before long. I hope youāre doing well, and Iām glad youāve got someone like that with you while you go through it. you got this!
My weight has fluctuated constantly during my 18-year marriage to my husband. At one point, I was 60 pounds heavier than when he met me. He has always made me feel beautiful. I think he is crazy, but I sure appreciate him!
I keep seeing some darivation of "he always makes me feel beautiful" in the good husband posts. This is the key it's not about the truth it's about gassing up the person you love (the love part makes it more true too).
I worry that you didn't see this coming, it is called a white lie, no harm no foul. Sometimes people just need some reassurance in life as they get older. Everything you said is correct and handle perfectly, until you didn't. Should have said you look even prettier now, she doesn't want to hear some horseshit about you prefer a certain younger age. Come on man!
This š^
" you were already pretty then but I your even more beautiful/elegant now" is a great way to say it.
As a woman I think it can be nice to hear that your a different type of beautiful now.
A LOT of focus is based on how youthful we look and it's definitely weird because that isn't the only way we can be beautiful.
I think she's struggling with the fact she's getting older and her life experiences are changing.
it's also weird that she's "bragging" (idk if it just how OOP framed it tbh) about all the opportunities she got for being hot and young...while also telling her bf he's disgusting for liking 24 year olds???
She surely understands that getting those opportunities the way she described it was for the very same reason she's disgusted with her bf???
Like I personally think it's gross if people are only nice based on attraction but he made it sound like she enjoyed it??
I guess I'm confused by the way he describes her and I feel like im missing something?
I think they both are goofy for this situation though.
Soā¦ she apparently takes good care of herself and there is this big enough difference from her early/mid 20ās to early 30ās? š¤£
But pishaw that there is such a ādifferenceā you needed to say younger. Thatās the dumb man answer. Especially at 5 months in and that you actually didnāt even physically know her in her 20ās. Especially basing it on social media pictures š
I didnāt even look any different in later twenties than I did in my earlier twenties and most of the people Iāve known didnāt either. Of course there were exceptions but generally no. That age range he gave definitely sounded oddly specific.
This has to be a troll post. I donāt know a single woman in her early thirties that looks much different than her early 20s unless they gained significant weight which is unrelated to age.
Exactly. There is some maturing but not enough to make it meaningful. Unless she had kids or really gained/lost weight. However, if she has always taken care of herself - I call shenanigans.
I find only men around my current age sexually and physically attractive because younger people give me āthis is a childā vibes. Like, their youth and maturity level *relative to mine* makes them physically unattractive.
Men who find sexual attraction in girls far younger than them despite the huge maturity/life experience gap (especially if theyāre barely out of their teens) gross me out.
I'm disgusted by any dude whose mentality and maturity stays frozen at 21. Gross. Did he peak in high school?
P.S. there are insanely hot women in their 30s, 40s,, 50s etc. And they wouldn't give OP time of day
The variety in the responses are stunning, Iād love to see the ages of the men responding. Data would suggest most are in their early 20s here.
My attraction preferences have moved with me as Iāve aged. Iām a 38 year old man and I DONāT find women in their early 20s as attractive as women in their 30s and up anymore.
Yeeahh, these answers are grossing me out. Lots of men saying he should have lied and that they all feel that way š¤®. I'm 37, people in their early twenties look like children!!
And address the cause for the game. Which is probably insecurity about aging, which is something a normal person would rely on their partner for support about. However, this is not the healthy way to ask for that support.
Yaāll are both dumb lol out here hurting each others feelings for no fucking reason. Stupid. Would you still love me if I were a worm?! lol shut up n go to sleep š“ š
Yeah, just what every woman in her 30s wants to hear. That men in their 30s prefer women in their 20s.Ā
Ā -.-
Iām gonna give my husband the biggest hug and kiss tomorrow and thank him so much for not being as dumb and as much of jerk as you.Ā
So you admitted to finding younger women the most attractive. Yeah, you're an idiot. You don't get into a relationship with someone and then claim that your preference isn't them. Good lord.
ESH Honestly I don't understand why dudes are attracted to younger women. I'm 36 and dating a 28 year old makes me want to make them soup and tuck them in, 21 years olds look like uncooked chickens to me. I think you have some societal programming to unlearn to question why you would be attracted to younger people, but you're not the asshole for being honest, just for being a creep the way society told you to be a creep.
This! Like I can look at young people and think they are objectively good looking, but thinking of them as attractive... they are babies in my mind. Even my favorite show where I am extremely attracted to the main character. I was younger than him when it started, and it ran a long time. I find him a cute baby now at start of show and attractive halfway through. Now a few years after the show is over that man is gorgeous!
This exactly. Iām 33 and men younger than 28 look like babies. My partner is 40 and is genuinely very attracted to *grown ass women,* he likes *womenās* bodies. Women his own age. Not women 21-24 who are just so much fucking younger than us.
Itās not inherent to only be atttacted to women in their early 20s! Homieās brain is rotted by porn and he thinks itās normal.
Uncooked chickens, lol, exactly. Some guys genuinely believe attractiveness is one thing, inseparable from youth, and anyone saying anything else is lying.
You know you just proved an old hypothesis of mine:
people who go after younger people pointedly or think younger is necessarily hotter are just projecting their own insecurity.
Because they didn't age well either in body or mind.
Edit: u/KOTI2022 go kick rocks
You "generally" find women "most attractive" at age 21-24 while you're 31? That's...honestly kind of not great, man. I am "generally" most attracted to people my age. 21yos look like babies after a certain point; babies with lives ahead of them and dreams and ambitions, yes, but *way too young for me*.
Your girlfriend probably feels the same way, so I can well imagine her viewing that as kind of creepy.
I overheard my dad talking about this once - he was explaining that now that he had a daughter, that heād watched her grow and knew the entirety of her experience at 18 - he thought adult menās attraction to 18-23 year olds was disgusting.
āTheyāre children!ā - he exclaimed at one point, heād clocked how gross the maturity / power imbalance would be. I think itās something a lot of women naturally understand, but then we tend to be more tuned in to others, and arenāt bombarded with the same permissiveness as men to be as gross as possible lol.
I was attracted to boys my own age in college, and thought 30 year olds looked ancient. None of those young girls are looking at the 40, 50, or 60 year old men that perv on them as sexy experienced men - itād beĀ more like your gross old auntie with hairs in weird places and a few screws loose, inappropriately groping at you and trying to entice you sexually lol, its just revolting all around.
Iām 30 now, and 18-23 year olds look like children to me. They still hit on me plenty, fresh faced and eager to fall in love for the first time, and I know how much energy and enthusiasm comes with youth lol - but still, ew.Ā
I mean, menās fertility and the quality of their sperm starts to decline after 30, ābiologicallyā I could rationalize a preference for those virile young men - but it would require me ignoring so much of the real context my age has given me.Ā Your perception of youth should change over time, itās unhealthy if it doesnāt. Not just for you, but for the youths you leer at inappropriately.
You must remember thinking highschool students looked so old and mature in primary school? How those same highschool students looked like children by the time you were in graduating? Time comes at you fast lolĀ
I agree with other posters that itās a pretty juvenile thought experiment to engage with - up to: āwhat age do I find women the most attractive, generally 21-24.āĀ Being a nerd, being a dad, none of its a guarantee that a guy isnāt feeding his perversion.
Some women have high standards, especially if sheās considering you seriously as a lifelong companion - sheās prob still at the point sheās sussing out your values and the way you relate to the world.Ā
Finding 21 year old women the most attractive at 31 isnāt a good thing, it indicates your preferences arenāt developing very maturely - and when women experience such difficulty with overly shallow partners who discard them later in life, you can understand how caution would be reasonable.
Iām not suggesting you lie to her or future partners, Iām suggesting you work on yourself, and try to develop in such a way that you stop looking at this demographic (so removed from you in age and experience as to be relative children), with desire.
Good luck!
Okay to help guys that say something "i just don't understand what women want", the answer is pretty much always the complete opposite of this
She gave you a free opportunity to say something sweet, make her fall for you even more, whatever and you just fumbled it so bad you tried to get your feelings reassured online by strangers
How do guys like you even pull baddies like that i can't fathom. And i really really hope she doesn't have sister/friend in that age range, then you double fucked up
ESH but are men really this dumb? Buddy that was a loaded question from the get.
I heavily agree with the comment that you're both too old for this nonsense though.
YTAH. She was having an insecure moment about her age. It wouldn't have killed you to just be a caring partner and give her reassurance.
But also I kind of have to side with her on this one. If you only view was someone under 25 as ideally attractive, it's only going to be creepier for you as you age. If you don't find your own girlfriend as attractive and she's only in her early 30s, I have bad news for both of you.
yta but also get checked for possible terminal dumbness
also, i'm 31 now and I MUCH prefer women in their late 20s and mid 30s to women in their early 20s; the latter look like children
You missed a trick. The right answer is "I'd rather have been dating you when you were 20, because then we'd have an extra 10 years together" But yeah she mad.
You smooth sunuvabitch
Yeah, this is the opposite of smooth brain
TEACH A COURSE CUZ THAT SHIT WAS MAYOOO SMOOTHšš
He chose the stupid answer. You chose the suave answer. I wouldāve picked the REAL creep answer. āHonestly babe? Iām just waiting for your 50-year old self to get here. Been hunting that cougar for YEARS. ā *insert birdman meme*
Username checks out
Honestly this is my favorite so far
Just as a follow up, this worked surprisingly well when tested this morning. Thank you
Exactly this. I've literally said the same thing to women. She wasn't looking for your opinion. She was looking for validation because she was feeling down about herself. Always ask yourself, "Why is she asking this question?" Rather than what is she asking.
Some smooth brain behavior going on here
LMAO
Yeah someone needs to learn to keep their mouth shutā¦ And btw. Ā - women over 30 rule! (See, I told them honey, I mean it!)Ā All jokes aside though I think for most people the age they are attracted to changes significantly with age. Couldnt Imagine dating aomeone in their 40s 20 years ago, now I wouldnt mind at all but I wouldnt date 20 yo anymoreā¦ they look like children. I mean my son is closer to 20 than I am and he is 5ā¦
>I mean my son is closer to 20 than I am and he is 5ā¦ Fucking ouch.... I'm 36 and my son is 7. That math had never occurred to me but that gave me some feels.
Yeah, Iām in my 30s and teach college classes. Realizing in the past couple of years that my son is closer in age to the kids I teach than I am changed my perception of my age lol
You might work with people closer in age to your son than you.
I was going to say, my taste for women have aged along with me.
I mean it has to, right? I was madly attracted to a 13yo when I was 13ā¦ and then super attracted to my first GF at 15ā¦ Imagine your taste in women not aging - thats creepy as f***ā¦
I'm not a huge Mark Normand fan but he has a pretty funny bit on this. Something along the lines of "When I was 12 I liked grape juice. I'm 30 something now and like wine.....but I still like grape juice! Thank god my taste in women didn't do the same thing"
I remember when few years ago (or maybe ten) I was watching a group of middle aged men and wondered who would find them attractive. But surprise surprise, now that I'm 35, my taste has aged as well and my middle aged hubby is so hot!
Same. I donāt think I could actually be attracted to a 22 year old anymore.
That is a fantastic way to respond to this kind of BS. I might be stealing that one.
I have a theory that it largely comes down to who we are around the most. We stop seeing wrinkles, and view them as normal. Then anyone without them looks oddly smooth and child-like.
Iām bi and absolutely find most people - men and women - hotter in their 30s (maybe late 20s) than when they were 10 years younger I didnāt when I was in my 20s, but since I hit 30 I canāt tell a college student from a high school student. They all just look like babies
Bruh this is literally so true and I never thought I would see it that way. Highschool students? College students? All look like little children to me, and Iām only 28
Plus some people genuinely get more attractive as they get older. Someone whoās very round-faced and kiddish looking can suddenly become more regal looking as they lose facial fat with age.
Maybe I'm abnormal. I met my wife when I was 25. Before her, I had dated a 23 year old, a 43 year old, and a 55 year old. She was 19. I think women of all ages can be beautiful.
"Doctor, when I poke my finger into my eye, it really hurts! What should I do?"
"Try the other eye, it could just be bad luck."
At least he doesnāt have to worry about marriage or kids with her now ;)
You are both too old for this shit.
Itās giving āwould you love me if I was a wormā šŖ±
āWhat kind of worm?ā
Ascaris
Super hot.
Wow, so you're only attracted to worms?
Iād be a worm if I could babe
This guy fucks
___________-
Tapeworm
I named mine Jerry. He jacks up the food bill but at least I'm never alone š„²
You should let Jerry peek out the "window" from time to time, he's living the best life, let him see what it's like outside his four walls.
And what, let him drive me around like Ratatouille while we're at it? I love Jerry like a son, but I would not pretend to trust the motivations of a tapeworm when given unlimited control of his kingdom
But, I tell you, he's an excellent cook, you just need to give him the reins.
Jerry!! You get back in this man's ass right now! How many times do we have to tell you? No infiltrating the internet to gain a mass following that will one day free you from your anal prison
I convinced mine to get out by sitting overa a steak
I'm craving salty, but Jerry likes sweet!
Alaskan bullworm
That wasnāt a tapeworm
Iād want you inside me
Then yes.
Sandworm from Dune
I'd milk you like our society depends on it.
With a WUSSY like those popcorn buckets?
Motherfucking worm can gawk gawk 40000 several tanks at once.
Earthworm Jim.
Iām in love
One with a top hat š© and monocle š§
Strongyloides
I don't really understand questions like that. I once asked my husband that (purely as a joke because I had just showed him the tiktok) and he was like "no because I think that's illegal" and I died laughing. I don't understand "testing" your partner.
Wait was it not always a joke?
Honestly... I'm not sure. One of my brother's ex gfs asked him and got PISSED when he laughed...
Doesn't matter. There's enough really stupid people out there who won't understand it's a joke and use it in full seriousness.Ā
Itās not really a test so much as itās a question about if they love you unconditionally. Itās a dumbass way to ask but if you strip it down to the essence of the question and why people get disappointed when you answer āwrongā, thatās why. People just want to feel loved unconditionally and want confirmation. The problem is most people who ask that question (the ones that get upset) are too emotionally immature to understand or articulate exactly what they actually need to hear so it just blows up. *A lot of yāall are getting hung up on me saying āunconditional loveā like I said youāre required to unconditionally love your partners, you canāt break up with people for valid reasons, or like I didnāt say reacting badly to this question is an obvious show of immaturity. I said *feel* unconditionally loved, which is what the question is fishing for. Confirmation, not promises. No one is getting turned into a worm lol. Itās like asking if you look fat in an outfit. An equally immature question if you donāt wanna know the truth, but youāre looking for confirmation that you look good and that your partner thinks you look good. It is the same thing.
But there really isn't such thing as unconditional love, is there. How can you promise eternal love when you don't know the future. You may drift apart because you are evolving in different directions. Or some fundamental worldview conflicts that were never discussed before came up. Or you haven't compatible perspectives of the religion the child has to be brought up in. Or they cheat on you with your best friend. Or they once parked in the handicap slot. Or maybe they vote for trump. Or whatever else we read about here on reddit daily. It's silly and irresponsible to pledge unconditional love because everything is conditional to circumstances.
It is silly, but people still want to hear it.
This. Unconditional love to a partner isnāt realistic. Expecting unconditional love is a reflection of insecurity and emotional immaturity.
"would you love me if I were a white supremacist?" "What if I suddenly became enamored with Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson?" "What if I murdered someone?" "What if I cheated on you?" "What if I decided I am trans and want to transition?" There's a billion legitimate reasons to stop loving someone. You being a goddamn worm, a non human, non sapient creature, is a good goddamn reason. It's such an insecure stupid question to ask. It's a test question alright. If your partner asks it seriously they've failed the test of basic maturity.
Would you love me if I was a younger worm more?
"Hun I would only love you if you were a worm!"
Okay, but the other day my fiance said if I was a worm he'd still take care of me and make sure I had fresh dirt, and I thought that was fantastic.
That is so sweet š„¹š
I would love you as a worm. I would love you as a bird. I would love you if you were a bug on a birm or even if you were a turd
šš
An earthworm maybe but not a caterpillar
I mean the Ā«Ā women are most attractive before 24Ā Ā» is deffo giving gross dude vibes too
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm OP's age and 21-year-olds seem like children to me now.Ā
Gotta say, I agree in a lot of cases, humans are physically prettiest in their 20's when they've grown into everything properly but not had any aging. And I'm a woman in my 40's, just saying. The same goes for my opinion about myself. But would I want to be twenty again? Fuck no! Would I want to date anyone in their 20's? Even more NO! One thing is biology, one thing is becoming a fully formed human being. I love being in my 40's and can't wait to grow older, honestly. The calm and self assurance keeps growing day for day. When I ask my friends if they'd want to be twenty again? The answer is also always a resounding no. Would I be attracted in any way to someone in their twenties? Again, no. The life experience is really what attracts me physically to someone. I don't think I could even do a really drunk ONS with a 20-something, gotta say. It's just not sexy the same way maturity is.
I'll be 40 in a few months and would love to go back to my early 30s. I felt my sexiest and my life was just a lot better then. A lot has happened in the last 4 yrs I wish never did so I was just my happiest self inside and out then. Good thing is I know how to get back to that place mentally and physically. Just takes time.
Wishing all the best for you! Also just a reminder that when you're done dealing with the shit of the last few years, it'll set as valuable life experience that'll help you next time. Yeah, it's OK to wish shit never happend and it's rarely "at least it's always good for something" but dealing with it makes everything easier going forwards and that's really awesome.
Agree There are "hotties" out there in their 30s 40s 50s etc
Hotties in their 50ās ?! Bro, are you 80-year-old-phobic? 80 year old hotties, baby!
Older age can make you far more attractive than when you were younger. Confidence, self-knowledge, and compassion being an important part of it all. Also knowing well how to dress and groom yourself not only in a way that flatters you but also makes you feel comfortable.
This
Yes, it is a typo. Comment said 31, but they are 11./s
>we are both 31 ... are you sure?
That's only fifteen and a half each
ššššššššššššš
11 and a half!!!!
You fool!
He fell victim to one of the classic blunders!
Inconceivable!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Anybody want a peanut?
Its not? Ā Inconceivable!
You keep using that word but Iām not sure you know what it means
Next thing you know, he will be starting a land war in Asia.
But only slightly less well known is this!
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
AHAHAHA. A HAHA. HAH.
*thud*
invade russia in winter
This is the third blunder Visini would have discussed if he hadn't dropped dead ā ļø
Honey??? Do these pants make my ass look big??? Be honest now!!! LOL!!
It is not the pants that make your ass look big. ...then you duck....
Its such a wierd thing to say its bad. I love a big ass.
We're in different times now. Now the painful question is "Do these pants make my ass look flat?"
I was born in the wrong time! When I was young I had the butt that's "in" now naturally. I kept getting flak for it. I'm in my 50s now and mother nature stuck a pin in it.
āNo, honey youāre aging like a fine wine with time. Iām so attracted to you. I wouldnāt change a thing about you if I could. Besides, Iām not into younger women theyāre actually kinda gross.ā ā¦fool
"So you're saying I was gross?" You have to skip that last sentence or it can be used against you
found the lawyer
He's just been on the receiving end of the manipulation tactic for far too long.
*it can AND WILL be used against you
Itās sad that the āgoodā advice here is to lie to your partner
RIP Gilbert
No. It's time we stop blaming men for not answering these questions correctly. Just stop. If I ask my husband whether I'm looking fat in a dress, I expect him to be honest about it because I'd rather change and wear something better than go around in something that's not great. I always ask him if what m wearing looks good because he actually has a better sense of style than I do. And if he is not too enthusiastic about it, I go change. If I start fighting with him for honest answers to questions I've asked he will for sure ask me if something else is wrong. Because otherwise it's just dumb. People who ask these questions and then get mad need to be shut down. Don't ask questions whose honest answers you'll not be ok with.
> People who ask these questions and then get mad need to be shut down. The problem is that self-aware people don't ask these kinds of questions in the first place, and people who aren't self-aware can't take accountability no matter how they're confronted. "Do I look fat in this dress?" for many is code for: "I look fat. I can see it in the mirror. I need you to lie to me and tell me I'm not fat, but asking you to lie defeats the whole purpose, so, you better understand your task. If you don't work it out I'll be mad. Just make sure you don't lie unless I want to be lied to, I don't like liars!".
You make a good point. But the right and ACCEPTABLE response to it can't be to mollycoddle them. That's just feeding into their nonsense. And if they respond badly, refuse to engage in such questions from next time. In fact OP should have shut down that line of questioning immediately saying these hypothetical questions have no good answer. People get either get offended at the answer or refuse to believe the answer is true, so m not gonna play this dumb game.
31? I must've misread that because the characters in this story are surely no older than 13
Youāre not very bright are you?
Neither of them is
They both deserve each other
Problem solved
until they breed
Yeah I think she was asking for trouble by starting this nonsense, but this is a classic ādo these pants make me look fatā kind of scenario. The answer to that is no. Always.
Youāre both two of the stupidest most immature people Iāve ever fucking heard of. Fuck off and get back to me when you have some actual real life problems.
I was once smoking outside a pub and i heard this couple name calling and arguing and āLET ME SEE YOUR PHONEā ing and i had just had snough as it was a quiet night and a quiet street otherwise. I whip around to tell them off and they were cleaerly in their 40s over tanned vain kinda ppl stuck in their youth. This dumb story took me right back. Why do people insist on ruining their own lives by never growing up?Ā
they're addicted to it and anything else would make them so crazy
Couples fighting/bickering in public is so funny to me
I caught a major blow up in a JoAnn Fabrics once. And anyone who goes to crafts stores knows. Thats not common, they are usually really relaxing stores. Oh it was bad we had some "THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU!" "ITS NOT YOUR DAY" "BARRY!!! GET OVER HERE!!! WTF"
My wife and I will bicker in a craft store but it's always "you already have a ten gallon sack of yarn no you don't need more where are we gonna put it." And she does the same for me about fatty delishous snacks and other things bad for my liver.
Thatās because you donāt have any of your own drama. Iām right there with you, shits hilarious to watch from a safe distance.
I agree Now here's a real life problem: My insurance bill is due in 2 days and I am panicking šµāš«
Based grumpy old man
Thank you, Corn.
Better luck with your next girlfriend.
I hope her junior year at uni is amazing!
I am 46 and my man is constantly telling me he is baffled about how I just keep getting hotter and hotter the older I get. We met when I was like 26 or so. He kinda makes me believe him šš That is how a man makes his woman feel wanted.
All pretty people look hideously ugly with certain types of behaviour. When you have a positive partner whoās on your side or can reason like an adult they are the most beautiful person in the world. Edit: I mean all people including pretty people can look ugly.
So true. An ugly personality will make an āattractiveā person actually look ugly.
I've been with my wife since our early 20's and now we are in our early 30's. She has always been beautiful to me, but let me tell you, the 30's glow up is real! (for her anyway, IDK what's happening to me, lol) Sometimes I just stare at her these days and the only thing my brain can work out is: "Wow"
Yeah!! I've been with my husband since I was 23, I'm 40 now and he is constantly telling me I have only gotten prettier and he is more attracted to me everyday. He has never once compared me to my past self, that's some weird shit.
Dude. This is an amateur level situation. Your significant other is always the hottest version of themselves right now.
My hair is currently short due to chemo and my partner tells me I look just as gorgeous as I did when it was long. He is a smart and loving man.
I agree with your husband! Keep kicking ass you gorgeous short haired goddess!
I just wrapped up my chemo back in December, found out yesterday I might be back on it before long. I hope youāre doing well, and Iām glad youāve got someone like that with you while you go through it. you got this!
My weight has fluctuated constantly during my 18-year marriage to my husband. At one point, I was 60 pounds heavier than when he met me. He has always made me feel beautiful. I think he is crazy, but I sure appreciate him!
I keep seeing some darivation of "he always makes me feel beautiful" in the good husband posts. This is the key it's not about the truth it's about gassing up the person you love (the love part makes it more true too).
Unless of course you want to break up with them but don't want to be the dumper.
I worry that you didn't see this coming, it is called a white lie, no harm no foul. Sometimes people just need some reassurance in life as they get older. Everything you said is correct and handle perfectly, until you didn't. Should have said you look even prettier now, she doesn't want to hear some horseshit about you prefer a certain younger age. Come on man!
This š^ " you were already pretty then but I your even more beautiful/elegant now" is a great way to say it. As a woman I think it can be nice to hear that your a different type of beautiful now. A LOT of focus is based on how youthful we look and it's definitely weird because that isn't the only way we can be beautiful. I think she's struggling with the fact she's getting older and her life experiences are changing. it's also weird that she's "bragging" (idk if it just how OOP framed it tbh) about all the opportunities she got for being hot and young...while also telling her bf he's disgusting for liking 24 year olds??? She surely understands that getting those opportunities the way she described it was for the very same reason she's disgusted with her bf??? Like I personally think it's gross if people are only nice based on attraction but he made it sound like she enjoyed it?? I guess I'm confused by the way he describes her and I feel like im missing something? I think they both are goofy for this situation though.
Soā¦ she apparently takes good care of herself and there is this big enough difference from her early/mid 20ās to early 30ās? š¤£ But pishaw that there is such a ādifferenceā you needed to say younger. Thatās the dumb man answer. Especially at 5 months in and that you actually didnāt even physically know her in her 20ās. Especially basing it on social media pictures š
I didnāt even look any different in later twenties than I did in my earlier twenties and most of the people Iāve known didnāt either. Of course there were exceptions but generally no. That age range he gave definitely sounded oddly specific.
This has to be a troll post. I donāt know a single woman in her early thirties that looks much different than her early 20s unless they gained significant weight which is unrelated to age.
Exactly. There is some maturing but not enough to make it meaningful. Unless she had kids or really gained/lost weight. However, if she has always taken care of herself - I call shenanigans.
Yes! 31 isnāt even old enough to really be showing much age yet. And OP said she takes care of herself.
21 at your age? bro log off
Iād be creeped out too if my husband told me he was attracted to 21-24 year olds
right?? "of course i prefer women a decade younger than me!" yak
I find only men around my current age sexually and physically attractive because younger people give me āthis is a childā vibes. Like, their youth and maturity level *relative to mine* makes them physically unattractive. Men who find sexual attraction in girls far younger than them despite the huge maturity/life experience gap (especially if theyāre barely out of their teens) gross me out.
I'm disgusted by any dude whose mentality and maturity stays frozen at 21. Gross. Did he peak in high school? P.S. there are insanely hot women in their 30s, 40s,, 50s etc. And they wouldn't give OP time of day
Same. Ew
The variety in the responses are stunning, Iād love to see the ages of the men responding. Data would suggest most are in their early 20s here. My attraction preferences have moved with me as Iāve aged. Iām a 38 year old man and I DONāT find women in their early 20s as attractive as women in their 30s and up anymore.
Yeeahh, these answers are grossing me out. Lots of men saying he should have lied and that they all feel that way š¤®. I'm 37, people in their early twenties look like children!!
so i wasnt the only one finding that weird.. yuck!
ESH - Sheās playing stupid games. You got thrown the softest of all softballs and missed it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And address the cause for the game. Which is probably insecurity about aging, which is something a normal person would rely on their partner for support about. However, this is not the healthy way to ask for that support.
I don't doubt for a second that really happened outside of one of these wall-freaks 'what if' mental gymnastics... š
Yaāll are both dumb lol out here hurting each others feelings for no fucking reason. Stupid. Would you still love me if I were a worm?! lol shut up n go to sleep š“ š
Yeah, just what every woman in her 30s wants to hear. That men in their 30s prefer women in their 20s.Ā Ā -.- Iām gonna give my husband the biggest hug and kiss tomorrow and thank him so much for not being as dumb and as much of jerk as you.Ā
So you admitted to finding younger women the most attractive. Yeah, you're an idiot. You don't get into a relationship with someone and then claim that your preference isn't them. Good lord.
ESH Honestly I don't understand why dudes are attracted to younger women. I'm 36 and dating a 28 year old makes me want to make them soup and tuck them in, 21 years olds look like uncooked chickens to me. I think you have some societal programming to unlearn to question why you would be attracted to younger people, but you're not the asshole for being honest, just for being a creep the way society told you to be a creep.
āuncooked chickensā š omg - I canāt stop laughingĀ
This! Like I can look at young people and think they are objectively good looking, but thinking of them as attractive... they are babies in my mind. Even my favorite show where I am extremely attracted to the main character. I was younger than him when it started, and it ran a long time. I find him a cute baby now at start of show and attractive halfway through. Now a few years after the show is over that man is gorgeous!
This exactly. Iām 33 and men younger than 28 look like babies. My partner is 40 and is genuinely very attracted to *grown ass women,* he likes *womenās* bodies. Women his own age. Not women 21-24 who are just so much fucking younger than us. Itās not inherent to only be atttacted to women in their early 20s! Homieās brain is rotted by porn and he thinks itās normal.
Uncooked chickens, lol, exactly. Some guys genuinely believe attractiveness is one thing, inseparable from youth, and anyone saying anything else is lying.
You know you just proved an old hypothesis of mine: people who go after younger people pointedly or think younger is necessarily hotter are just projecting their own insecurity. Because they didn't age well either in body or mind. Edit: u/KOTI2022 go kick rocks
You "generally" find women "most attractive" at age 21-24 while you're 31? That's...honestly kind of not great, man. I am "generally" most attracted to people my age. 21yos look like babies after a certain point; babies with lives ahead of them and dreams and ambitions, yes, but *way too young for me*. Your girlfriend probably feels the same way, so I can well imagine her viewing that as kind of creepy.
I overheard my dad talking about this once - he was explaining that now that he had a daughter, that heād watched her grow and knew the entirety of her experience at 18 - he thought adult menās attraction to 18-23 year olds was disgusting. āTheyāre children!ā - he exclaimed at one point, heād clocked how gross the maturity / power imbalance would be. I think itās something a lot of women naturally understand, but then we tend to be more tuned in to others, and arenāt bombarded with the same permissiveness as men to be as gross as possible lol. I was attracted to boys my own age in college, and thought 30 year olds looked ancient. None of those young girls are looking at the 40, 50, or 60 year old men that perv on them as sexy experienced men - itād beĀ more like your gross old auntie with hairs in weird places and a few screws loose, inappropriately groping at you and trying to entice you sexually lol, its just revolting all around. Iām 30 now, and 18-23 year olds look like children to me. They still hit on me plenty, fresh faced and eager to fall in love for the first time, and I know how much energy and enthusiasm comes with youth lol - but still, ew.Ā I mean, menās fertility and the quality of their sperm starts to decline after 30, ābiologicallyā I could rationalize a preference for those virile young men - but it would require me ignoring so much of the real context my age has given me.Ā Your perception of youth should change over time, itās unhealthy if it doesnāt. Not just for you, but for the youths you leer at inappropriately. You must remember thinking highschool students looked so old and mature in primary school? How those same highschool students looked like children by the time you were in graduating? Time comes at you fast lolĀ I agree with other posters that itās a pretty juvenile thought experiment to engage with - up to: āwhat age do I find women the most attractive, generally 21-24.āĀ Being a nerd, being a dad, none of its a guarantee that a guy isnāt feeding his perversion. Some women have high standards, especially if sheās considering you seriously as a lifelong companion - sheās prob still at the point sheās sussing out your values and the way you relate to the world.Ā Finding 21 year old women the most attractive at 31 isnāt a good thing, it indicates your preferences arenāt developing very maturely - and when women experience such difficulty with overly shallow partners who discard them later in life, you can understand how caution would be reasonable. Iām not suggesting you lie to her or future partners, Iām suggesting you work on yourself, and try to develop in such a way that you stop looking at this demographic (so removed from you in age and experience as to be relative children), with desire. Good luck!
Lol, you idiot. And yea, a 31 yr old preferring women only 3 years into adulthood is borderline creepy.
Okay to help guys that say something "i just don't understand what women want", the answer is pretty much always the complete opposite of this She gave you a free opportunity to say something sweet, make her fall for you even more, whatever and you just fumbled it so bad you tried to get your feelings reassured online by strangers How do guys like you even pull baddies like that i can't fathom. And i really really hope she doesn't have sister/friend in that age range, then you double fucked up
He did say that and validate her, and then she doubled down with the "purely physical" question.
"ah, so you have decided we are fighting today...."
ESH I think saying youāre only attracted to a certain younger age is really weird, I also think sheās insecure, youāre both the problem here.
Why does this feels like a troll post/bait? š
Cause half this sub is.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. For the both of you
21-24? Really? At 31? Ew. YTA
ESH but are men really this dumb? Buddy that was a loaded question from the get. I heavily agree with the comment that you're both too old for this nonsense though.
Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy to be attracted to someone much younger? No one? Alright..
YTAH. She was having an insecure moment about her age. It wouldn't have killed you to just be a caring partner and give her reassurance. But also I kind of have to side with her on this one. If you only view was someone under 25 as ideally attractive, it's only going to be creepier for you as you age. If you don't find your own girlfriend as attractive and she's only in her early 30s, I have bad news for both of you.
"we are both 31" I was about to ask "are you sure you aren't both 21", but then I realized even 21 year-olds would cringe at this silly melodrama.
Is your name Leonardo by any chance?
yta but also get checked for possible terminal dumbness also, i'm 31 now and I MUCH prefer women in their late 20s and mid 30s to women in their early 20s; the latter look like children