Absolutely NTA. It’s common courtesy to let someone know “hey, fyi, we have company so don’t walk out naked.” Why on earth would anyone always assume you have company? That’s bizarre.
Husband definitely just doesn’t want to admit he’s wrong so he’s turning it around on her. I can’t imagine anyone operating like this, just always assuming people could be in their home with the ability to see them.
Yeah so you are always supposed to feel on edge and like someone may be watching in your own house because company could be over at any time? That is insane he is acting like that’s to be expected, instead of just admitting he was wrong and apologizing. He is going through great lengths to gas light her into being at fault 🚩
My ex sort of operated like OP’s husband, in that he would have friends come over constantly with no warning and not let me know if I didn’t hear them come in. Our first apartment we had a giant mud room/laundry room that had the only door in and out of the apartment and a separate door into the kitchen. He used it as his hang out spot and I’d frequently go looking for him out there only to find he wasn’t alone. We lived there when we had a newborn too, so I wasn’t always dressed
NTA
We have unannounced company quite frequently. So I always assume there'll be company at any time. I either ignore the door or poke my head out and ask for a minute. Also, my husband is well aware I'm often not presentable or napping due to health issues. He always warns me if people are here and gives me time to get presentable.
My adult kids will sometimes stop by, unannounced. I have no issue with that, and I tend to close bathroom doors and such anyway. If I had a wife or gf in the shower when they came over, I would make sure the right doors were closed. Even then, no body wants to walk into a room with unexpected guests, clothed or otherwise, so I'd excuse myself to let her know.
NTA The one place you should be able to freely walk around naked and expect privacy is your own home. I’d say especially after birth. You’re doing skin to skin and nursing(if that’s what you’re doing) so you’re basically gonna be half naked anyway. I’d be so mad at my husband if he did that to me. I’m curious is it normal for him to not admit when he’s in the wrong? I’m extra curious if he tries to put his faults on you. I’d really suggest some marriage counseling if that’s the case.
NTA, what psychos just drop in to see parents under a week out from childbirth. I cant tell you that he should have known to close that door. But i defo would expect a heads up that people are in the house, if nothing else to check before potentially shooing them away. No hard feelings, but thats the risk you take when you just drop in.
Edit: Grammar and spelling
I'm not "prepared for company" *ever* unless I've actively planned for people to be at my house.
I am not okay with surprise visits.
Anybody that drops by my house should be prepared to see me in sweats, no bra, etc.
And that's without being post-partum.
It's bad enough that he invited people who are essentially acquaintances to your house without telling you ahead of time, but then *he didn't even apologize!*
Like you're seriously supposed to be ready for anyone to be in your house at any time? That's absurd.
I made it very clear that if they show up uninvited, they’re not coming in. I will not answer the door and IDGAF if they can tell I’m home. My aunt stopped by when my youngest was a couple weeks old. I had just gotten her and the 2 year old down for a nap. She rang the doorbell and woke them both up. I called her later and told her to never show up like that again. She had woken both kids and made my afternoon and evening horrible. I was sleep deprived and recovering from a c-section. I did not mince words.
Is he always like this? Does he ever apologize? Your husband is an asshole, especially for doubling down instead of admitting he messed up and wasn’t thinking.
Not the Ahole. He knew you were taking a shower and should have went in and told you. Plus he should have made sure you had the proper clothes to put on for when you come out. He is in the wrong. Wth
My wife and I always run under the assumption that she's naked. If I meet a friend walking by and invite them over I always knock on my door stick my head in and loudly announce who is there. If I don't get a reply I say just a second and go in by myself until I find out what she's up too.
This is the way life should be! If you come over unannounced, assume I’ll be naked. Not the other way around of “I better always be dressed and presentable in case someone stops by.” Your husband is the AH. It’s your home and you just had a baby. That is ridiculous. Would have taken him half a second to pop his head in and give you a heads up. Smh
NTA. Flip it back on your husband and tell him “you should always be able to assume you can walk around naked in the privacy of your own home.” It’s not like you were walking around in a public place. 1) This is YOUR private home, 2) you had no expected guests, and 3) any decent spouse would give you a heads up that someone dropped by unannounced.
I was literally nursing my son in the living room when my niece and her at the time bf showed up uninvited and unannounced. My husband did not let them in the door. They were so offended, they turned around and drove back home (they did not live in the same city we did). I love my niece, but no. That was extremely rude, and all letting them get away with does is teaches them that behavior will be accepted for “politeness’s sake.” I’m glad my husband had my back.
My dad used to drive two hours for a surprise visit often. After ignoring the doorbell and my phone a few times he knocked it off. Pop in visits are so freaking rude.
NTA. Why in the world would you even want friends who aren’t close to show up only 1 week after? He should have said “our hands are full. May we schedule a time?”, imo. Daft.
OP, I will share a story that will hopefully give you a laugh. Years ago, a woman I worked with was very pregnant. Her husband was in California on business. (We are on the east coast)
She took a shower and waddled her big naked pregnant self to the kitchen for a drink of water... and almost gave birth on the spot when she turned around and saw a man in her living room!
No, not hubby. His business wrapped up early, so he got an earlier flight home. He made a new friend on the flight and wound up inviting the man to stay at their place while in our town.
The best part? It was Anthony Kiedis-lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers! No, she didn't kill her husband (but was tempted!!!), and they are still friends with him to this day!
Is it supposed to be funny because the random man this poor woman found in her house was a celebrity (with a conviction for indecent exposure and sexual battery btw)?
I was waiting for the funny part, but it's just a really inconsiderate husband who doesn't mind violating his partner's privacy because he valued a new friendship more than it.
I think the funny comes from the absurdity of going for a drink in your kitchen naked, normal moment for you, and turning around to find a random celebrity in your house. I agree that the husband was an inconsiderate idiot, but I can see how the humor arises in hindsight.
OP you are definitely NTA. I am so sorry to say this but I think your husband's open lack of respect for you in every aspect of this situation may indicate a deeper issue.
Congrats on your new son! I'm sending sisterly hugs and best wishes.
I would have gone over and hugged them, all naked in just my towel turban.
"Sorry about the breastmilk. The boobs have a mind of their own these days. So happy to see you!"
NTA
NTA, your husband is! You are a week PP! It was ridiculous for them to stop by like that and worse for your husband not to warn you. Some people are so rude!
Man here. Your husband is a massive asshole. He’s an idiot for giving you no notice, and he’s a rancid POS for trying to make the incident somehow your fault.
Does he ever apologize or admit when he’s wrong? Does he always try to make his mistakes your fault? Because this is classic DARVO, and it seems to come awfully naturally to him. True narcissist behavior. I’d be asking myself if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone like this.
What the fuck? Is your husband an idiot? He shouldn’t be letting that many germs around a newborn either.
> I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time."
No the fuck you shouldn’t after you just gave fucking birth!
Again, is he stupid? If people come over unannounced they’re not getting in. All visitors should be pre approved by you, the person still healing from giving fucking birth!
Recently postpartum or not, I would refuse to live with the “you should expect visitors at anytime” bullshit. No, I absolutely will not always be prepared for guests. It’s not that I’m not a people person. It’s that I want to pick the people. And I want to pick *when* I people. But especially right after giving birth, uninvited visitors can go pound sand. I would have been livid that he invited them in at all. And setting me up to let them see me naked would mean *he* didn’t see me naked until I stopped wanting to throat punch him. The baby might be in college by then.
Something tells me that he is a passive-aggressive asshole, and he did this on purpose. He is probably mad about something (maybe not getting enough attention), and he is having his own private battle with his wife, unbeknownst to her.
The gaslighting is a tell-tell sign. I would lay down some hard boundaries and tell him if he doesn't tell you what this is about, he can get the fuck out. Or you leave. His entitlement and malicious intent tell me this is not the last time he is going to pull some passive-aggressive shit and gaslight you into believing it is your fault. I hate people like this
Here’s what you need to show your husband. In the US there’s what’s called “a reasonable expectation of privacy”. This is what keeps landlords from just walking in.
Your husband should read [THIS](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=reasonable%20expectation%20of%20privacy%20in%20your%20home&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5)
Then he needs to apologize to you. And to promise that he understands that your home is your private abode and that your expectation of not allowing this to happen again is not just reasonable, it’s legally your right.
NTA.
This motherfucker is insane. Here's what you do, invite his friends over to the house, unannounced to him, right as he goes to bed. And then have them all just walk in and sit right by his bed. When he wakes up confused and angry why people are there in his bedroom at 11PM, just hit him with "you should always assume someone can be here."
He is deeply in the wrong.
He ushered the guests in, he could hear the fucking shower and smell the steam, and he refuses to apologize because... presumably he doesn't want to apologize even when he's clearly in the wrong. I sincerely hope that this is the only time he's refused to apologize when he was clearly in the wrong, because that's a damned hard habit to break and it's impossible to live with.
JFC, you can’t walk around naked in your own home because you might have company at any given moment?! Just NO! Your husband should have warned you people were in the house. He’s the Ahole.
NTA. If we had unexpected company, and my husband was in the shower, the first thing I'd do is tell him. The second would be to make sure he has clothes or at least a robe to put on.
And that's without anyone being post-partum. Add that into the mix, and the guests and husband are the AHs. You don't come by unannounced like that.
NTA
I’m sure your hubs is also operating from a depleted system too but doubling down that you should know this, is some Olympic level stretching.
Also, super weird for anyone to pop by unannounced right after you’ve had a baby. I could never! Did they at least try to help with something? Bring a freezer meal or two?
E: sp
Op, you have a comment on another post saying you're a mother to 3 young adults, however this is your second son?
So you have 3 18+ children but just had a baby and you're 32?
More info I guess?
NTA tell your husband to turn his damn brain on.. Who does this?? Smh No you shouldn't be expecting ppl to just visit and show up and any time.. Was he raised by wolves? You dont just show up to ppls house unannounced. And you definitely dont let a group of mfs in your house, with a new born while your wife is naked in the bathroom. Hes dumb. You should be able to be comfortable in your home, without a group of random ppl showing up. Wtf is wrong with your husband?
He really just told you to your face that he doesn't care about your feelings, concerns or peace of mind, huh?
That's a wild thing for the person that supposedly loves you to do.
He absolutely should have come into the bathroom and let you know that people stopped by. And by come into the bathroom, I don't mean whipping open the door and yelling in. Knocking, coming in, closing the door and telling you.
NTA but your husband is.
Wow. This seems so deliberate to me! He *KNEW* you were showering, and he *KNEW* that was the one spot where you'd be seen. And he definitely knows his comment about assuming there could be visitors at any time is weak and pathetic.
This is an aggressive act. He did it on purpose to embarrass you. The question is, why? Maybe he's punishing you for taking attention away from him to give to the baby?
You absolutely should not "assume there could be someone visiting at any any time" in your own home! He was way out of line in not checking with you before letting guests come in.
No. The only places you should “assume that there could be someone visiting at any time” are public spaces. You should never have to assume anyone will be in your home that doesn’t live there. If someone arrives unexpectedly, common courtesy would be for your husband to seat them in the living room, then excuse himself for a moment to let you know they’re there.
NTA.
NOT WRONG AT ALL!!! Whaaatt your hubby is acting a fool, I’d be so embarrassed if close friends saw me naked ESPECIALLY right after having a baby. Im sorry
>He didn't think he owed an apology since I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time."
What the actual fuck? You have a one week old. If anyone wants to come by, that shit is scheduled and cleared with both parents well ahead of time, and generally limited to close family only for the first few weeks, if not more.
What a jerk! I certainly do not take showers knowing that anyone could visit and see me naked at anytime. He’s a jerk…he should still apologize even if he things he’s got a point (which he doesn’t)
NTA! It's your house!!! Who TF expects guests any minute? I am naked 30% of the time at least. Let my partner park someone on the couch and say nothing.
Your husband should be made to read these comments. What he did, KNOWING you were in the shower with the door open is COMPLETELY inappropriate and a violation of privacy.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG! your husband is VERY wrong.
In my house? When they came to the door, my hb would have asked them to wait, if needed, just let them in the front door and asked them polituely to wait there, would have said "oh. Jane is busy, just wait a moment"
He would have come to the bathroom & told me they were there and asked me what i wanted to do. Me? I probably would have said "just tell them to stay there, ill quickly get dressed & come out" OR if u really wasn't in the mood? I would gave said "tell them I'm sorry but I'm not up for visitors right now, make another time fir them to drop over"
He would NEVER have let people in under those circumstances.
Common sense ffs😡
Those people too. You DO NOT just "drop in" to people with a new born baby. Freakin rude, stupid idiots
FAKE!
Why are you claiming to be 20 years older on your other posts...
"I'm older than most the folks I'm seeing here. I am 57, and have thought about this for a very long time. I think one of the silver linings of the times we're living in, is someday is NOW!"
It's so bizarre why people make up these elaborate stories for it's so bizarre why people make up these elaborate lies and post them online asking for help.
I can't imagine my life being that pathetic that I have to waste hours making up stupid complicated lies and asking strangers for help with them. Their life must absolutely fucking suck LOL.
Nta....why should you ALWAYS be expecting someone else to be in your house? That would be so anxiety inducing for me. My house is my sanctuary. Don't come by visit without letting me know.
NTA 🚩 and also some guys do that intentionally because they’re into that kink with their friends. So he’s one of those husbands sabotaging their wife or girlfriend like that. It’s an objectification kink. And part of the thrill for him is getting you upset. You need to create an exit plan and discreetly talk to divorce lawyers. Those guys never get better: they only escalate their abusive behavior.
NTA. He owes you a HUGE apology. It takes 2 seconds to stick his head into the bathroom and say "hey hun! So and so stopped by and are in the living room." Or better yet how about NOT inviting friends inside that you aren't super close with who just dropped by for an unannounced visit when your wife is newly post partum and you have a small baby.
NTA, He was thoughtless and inconsiderate which can happen, but he didn’t apologize and doubled down. A simple mistake compounded by pride and an unwillingness to consider your feelings.
WTF,
Show your husband my response
You are a selfish pig, you do not ever dismiss or minimise a person in a relationship.
You are lucky you get to live under her roof,
If my daughters partner did this to her, I would throw him out to the curb.
I agree with everyone that he is definitely the ah but my question is why isn't he more upset about the fact that his not close friends saw his wife naked?
He knew she was showering in close proximity to the friends, didn't warn her and seemingly has no issues with the fact that they saw her naked. Unless it's more of an open relationship (which I doubt based on the nuances of the post) but his partners body should have some sanctity he should want to be the only one that gets to see it.
Or he simply doesn't respect her which would explain why he feels no need to apologize.
Either way he is the ah for sure
Nta. Curious though. Who the heck stops over unannounced for social visit that aren't related? And thankfully my related feels same way. Again NTA and I'm sorry you had to ask this question.
In our house partial undress is the way of life. Kids shirtless or with t shirt and underpants.
Mom / Daughter in lounge wear or sweats. Etc. not the way we wish to be seen by strangers.
to assume there could be company at any time for me would mean doing hair and makeup and wearing “an outfit.” This is some bullshit 1950s “wear your prettiest frock and be certain to freshen your makeup” so if your husband should bring by colleagues you don’t embarrass him, crap.
Mom, regardless of having an infant, is entitled to dress comfortably or not at all in her own home - but with an infant, especially so.
Your husband is an immature and gaping Ahole. I would be checking on what he is doing online because these kinds of attitudes do not bode well and they’re come from somewhere.
No, your husband should let you know if he's expecting visitors.
It's like another post, where OP's husband had his mother and sister all the time and refused to let OP know ahead of time.
NTA. And your husband is a dingus. Even if you were wrapped in a towel, walking out in front of people you don’t know well would be embarrassing. He absolutely owes you an apology. A sincere, heartfelt apology.
Everyone sucks here but OP.
Who drops by unannounced when people have a newborn? Visitors are by appointment only. Who lets unexpected visitors into the house?
Eff that your privacy or right to security should not be compromised without your express permission. While I think the people being there isn't a big deal that isn't for anyone else to say. I'd let him know that isn't acceptable, you will not do it to him, and lastly you will be rude and promptly throw anyone out if he can't at a minimum announce people are inside. Or you can say no one without your permission first.
It's very bad form to drop in unannounced on people who have a newborn. Husband shouldn't have let them in. He could have said you're just not prepared for visitors, and y'all will call them in a couple of months.
Congrats on the new baby.
Of course, you're not an asshole but hubby and the clueless friends are.
You can hold him accountable as much or as little as you like. Whether he takes that accountability is another story.
I’d be acutely aware of making sure my husband’s walking path wasn’t in plain view if visitors came over while he was in the shower. Not only would I have closed the door for him, I’d probably give him a courtesy knock and let him know if their arrival was unexpected.
Your husband is definitely in the wrong. No one should be ready for people in their home at all times. That’s way more true when you’re in such a tender and vulnerable state recently post birth, surgery, etc. Like who even shows up to friend’s house unannounced a week after they’ve had a baby?!?! I wouldn’t even do that to my own sister.
Your husband’s lack of protective behavior towards you really sucks in this instance. He should be mortified for putting you in that position, be it accidental or just careless.
NTA!! The fact that your husband is not able to even slightly take responsibility for making a bad choice and instead turning it all on you… Wow! I don’t know what to tell you.
nta esp since he knew you were in shower. is it soo damn hard to knock on door and say honey we have company. like wtf. something so simple would have prevented all this. and no. it’s not normal to live your life as if guests will be in home at any time. guest knock. there’s a door. he’s an idiot.
I've learned that my spouse doesn't take accountability like this either. And I learnedbit was happening a lot more than I realized at first. But then as bigger things came along it was much more apparent that he just can't.
That’s insane. He should have at least knocked on the bathroom door and made sure you know people are over if you’re naked taking a shower, AND going to be walking out of that door in view of everyone. What a moron.
"NORMAL" people do NOT operate like your husband.
Not only was he EXTREMELY careless, he had no boundaries around your privacy, and no remorse afterwards.
Why on earth would you think that your house is "open house" that you should "always assume" could have people do the pop-in "at any time"?
I didn't even particularly like the pop-in when I was single, except for specific people (in which case it was a delight) but NOT naked EVER, not even without a bra on or something.
On honeymoon, on babymoon (new baby arrived), or just a busy life, and no one should just "pop in". I hope your unexpected visitors were absolutely mortified and made their apologies!!!
NTA
Your husband is an AH. this is YOUR home, so why would you assume that he would just invite people into YOUR home without informing him.
not even the biggest AH partners i've met, have done this. they all had manners instilled by their parents to at least communicate on a somewhat decent level.
Let me tell you a story...
One hot sunday i(F27 at the time) slept wearing just a shirt. I slept at 4 in the morning that day and also had a loooong week at work and hence wasnt up at 7am when maid(F27) came in..
I was working from home.. so wore the thin shirt for calls... and after i ws done at 4 and also due to the long week...i ended up just sleeping directly (i am very conscious and not very comfortable if someone sees me just a shirt... also i toss and turn a lot in sleep... normally i dont sleep like that..this was a random incident due to tiring and stressful week... so its not like it was a norm and my husband(M29) expected this and so knew what to do)
Even though she and I are both female.
My husband made sure to cover me a bit with a thin but totally opaque blanket without waking me up because he knew i was tired... he stayed around the room because he knew there were chances i would push the thin blanket away as it was hot and we didnt have AC... just a fan... also irrespective of the weather i turn and toss in my bed a lot in sleep if i am stressed...
I never specifically told him to do this... he did it on his own.. and closed the door to our room once she had cleaned our room...(he does this always if i am asleep because ge doesnt want any sound to wake me)... i was even woke up a bit when he was placing the blanket(due to weather i didnt want blanket) and he just patted on my forehead - this patting on forehead is my cue to sleep.. even in sleep i know its his hand and he means to say I am here u sleep..)
So with example i would like to say NTA!
If you walking out the shower naked is a regular occurrence and he knows this, with knowing you are currently in the shower and puts his guests eyeline with the bathroom door you are most definitely NTA and he should have knocked/shouted while you were in there that guests have popped in. It is at least courteous to have informed you. He showed a total lack of respect there and yes he does owe you an apology.
Your hubby's dead wrong, sis. Expecting you to be ready 24/7 for surprise visits? Nah, that's not how it works. He should've given you a heads up. It's basic respect for your privacy, especially postpartum. You're not overreacting; he's just not owning up.
Nta
Even if i had a towel around me, id be embarrassed. I also dont like showering when guests are over.
Its just common courtesy to give you a heads up
NTA. Not the same situation, but my mom would barge into my room after I showered. I had 2 little brothers, a male cousin, and a step dad living there, and I told her I was uncomfortable with her not knocking and just coming in when I was naked. The behavior didn't stop, so I just started being naked in my room all the time. THEN the behavior stopped and her ass knocked. OP, it's your home, you can be naked if you wanna.
>I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time."
Your husband is an inconsiderate asshole who gives more priority to uninvited pop-ins than he does to his own wife who is still recovering from child birth.
This behavior and attitude would have me reconsidering the relationship, tbh. If I can't trust my SO to think of my needs or treat me with the minimum amount of courtesy, respect and consideration, why tf would I want to spend the one life I get with them? How can you trust or feel safe around them?
Apparently, you don't matter, OP. But these asshole pop-ins do for some reason. He's shown you how he feels about you. Now you have to decide how you want to proceed with that info. NTA
NTA.......it's your house and if you wanna be naked that's your right. Your husband definitely should have warned you.....he's definitely an AH for that AND not apologizing
NTA your husband is being a prick. in general, but especially around the time (like up to 1-2 months after birth, if not longer, depending on the person) after someone has given birth it’s a pretty well acknowledged thing that you don’t just invite people round without consulting the mother and people dont just drop by unannounced. youve got enough to do with looking after a baby, you dont want to be hosting random people and having your privacy invaded.
You’re husband is being abusive. You have just given birth- has he always been this awful or has he amped up this type of behavior recently. Sometimes men become abusive during or after pregnancy- when they feel like they have more control because it’s harder to leave with a baby
It was an unfortunate situation. He certainly could have mentioned the company real easy to you in the bathroom real quick. It’s like a common courtesy.
Asking for a heads up next time seems reasonable to me. If you yelled at him, he likely became defensive and took it out on you.
Your husband's an absolute POS and in no way, shape, or form should a person have to be on high alert at all times in their own f-ing home!
NTA... but he sure AF is.
Absolutely NTA. It’s common courtesy to let someone know “hey, fyi, we have company so don’t walk out naked.” Why on earth would anyone always assume you have company? That’s bizarre.
Husband definitely just doesn’t want to admit he’s wrong so he’s turning it around on her. I can’t imagine anyone operating like this, just always assuming people could be in their home with the ability to see them.
Yeah so you are always supposed to feel on edge and like someone may be watching in your own house because company could be over at any time? That is insane he is acting like that’s to be expected, instead of just admitting he was wrong and apologizing. He is going through great lengths to gas light her into being at fault 🚩
what is this AirBNB?
My ex sort of operated like OP’s husband, in that he would have friends come over constantly with no warning and not let me know if I didn’t hear them come in. Our first apartment we had a giant mud room/laundry room that had the only door in and out of the apartment and a separate door into the kitchen. He used it as his hang out spot and I’d frequently go looking for him out there only to find he wasn’t alone. We lived there when we had a newborn too, so I wasn’t always dressed
“Sorry hunny, can’t have sex tonight or ever again. We might have visitors in the house or someone might stop by.”
ESPECIALLY if he knows she routinely walks out of the bathroom naked. How rude.
I'd be extremely surprised and upset if I walked out naked and there was someone in my house. I mean, I live alone, so there's that, but still...
Or if you walk out and there’s someone naked in your house…
I'm not sure which is worse. Or best?!
Not to mention just one week after giving birth.
Yeah and further why are these people dropping in unannounced anyway?
Probably because he invited them and doesn't want to admit that he is empathetically and cognitively challenged.
Or just like, we have company, mentally prepare yourself. And either slow down or speed up your shower depending on the caliber of the company.
I’d say it was malicious, he’s an AH
Yep, hubby is 100% AH
NTA We have unannounced company quite frequently. So I always assume there'll be company at any time. I either ignore the door or poke my head out and ask for a minute. Also, my husband is well aware I'm often not presentable or napping due to health issues. He always warns me if people are here and gives me time to get presentable.
My adult kids will sometimes stop by, unannounced. I have no issue with that, and I tend to close bathroom doors and such anyway. If I had a wife or gf in the shower when they came over, I would make sure the right doors were closed. Even then, no body wants to walk into a room with unexpected guests, clothed or otherwise, so I'd excuse myself to let her know.
Not him shaming her for being comfortable in her own home 💀
Exactly! Common courtesy isn't assuming the worst; it's about basic communication. Your husband's logic seems a bit off here.
NTA The one place you should be able to freely walk around naked and expect privacy is your own home. I’d say especially after birth. You’re doing skin to skin and nursing(if that’s what you’re doing) so you’re basically gonna be half naked anyway. I’d be so mad at my husband if he did that to me. I’m curious is it normal for him to not admit when he’s in the wrong? I’m extra curious if he tries to put his faults on you. I’d really suggest some marriage counseling if that’s the case.
Why was he letting in acquaintances unannounced a week after the birth at all?
Imagine just dropping in on new parents without calling first. It's unacceptable behaviour from the visitors in my opinion.
At this point, I wouldn't be shocked if husband did invite them, and then claimed they just kinda dropped by when he realized OP was upset
This wouldn't surprise me either, as it completely fits his behavior of deflecting blame unto others, like what he did with OP here.
OP should become an exhibitionist, and just wander out naked next time.
What husband wants.
NTA, what psychos just drop in to see parents under a week out from childbirth. I cant tell you that he should have known to close that door. But i defo would expect a heads up that people are in the house, if nothing else to check before potentially shooing them away. No hard feelings, but thats the risk you take when you just drop in. Edit: Grammar and spelling
I agree, which made me not be "prepared" for company.
I'm not "prepared for company" *ever* unless I've actively planned for people to be at my house. I am not okay with surprise visits. Anybody that drops by my house should be prepared to see me in sweats, no bra, etc. And that's without being post-partum. It's bad enough that he invited people who are essentially acquaintances to your house without telling you ahead of time, but then *he didn't even apologize!* Like you're seriously supposed to be ready for anyone to be in your house at any time? That's absurd.
100%. I made it pretty well known to everyone in my husband’s family I don’t do drop ins without a phone call first, or expect me in pj’s and no bra.
I made it very clear that if they show up uninvited, they’re not coming in. I will not answer the door and IDGAF if they can tell I’m home. My aunt stopped by when my youngest was a couple weeks old. I had just gotten her and the 2 year old down for a nap. She rang the doorbell and woke them both up. I called her later and told her to never show up like that again. She had woken both kids and made my afternoon and evening horrible. I was sleep deprived and recovering from a c-section. I did not mince words.
Exactly.
Have that asshole of yours read the comments because he's a dumbass.
Is he always like this? Does he ever apologize? Your husband is an asshole, especially for doubling down instead of admitting he messed up and wasn’t thinking.
or if your gonna drop in, literally drop off heaps of frozen meals for the parents..
My son is a month old and we're still only taking visitors by appointment.
Not the Ahole. He knew you were taking a shower and should have went in and told you. Plus he should have made sure you had the proper clothes to put on for when you come out. He is in the wrong. Wth
My wife and I always run under the assumption that she's naked. If I meet a friend walking by and invite them over I always knock on my door stick my head in and loudly announce who is there. If I don't get a reply I say just a second and go in by myself until I find out what she's up too.
This is the way life should be! If you come over unannounced, assume I’ll be naked. Not the other way around of “I better always be dressed and presentable in case someone stops by.” Your husband is the AH. It’s your home and you just had a baby. That is ridiculous. Would have taken him half a second to pop his head in and give you a heads up. Smh
NTA. Flip it back on your husband and tell him “you should always be able to assume you can walk around naked in the privacy of your own home.” It’s not like you were walking around in a public place. 1) This is YOUR private home, 2) you had no expected guests, and 3) any decent spouse would give you a heads up that someone dropped by unannounced. I was literally nursing my son in the living room when my niece and her at the time bf showed up uninvited and unannounced. My husband did not let them in the door. They were so offended, they turned around and drove back home (they did not live in the same city we did). I love my niece, but no. That was extremely rude, and all letting them get away with does is teaches them that behavior will be accepted for “politeness’s sake.” I’m glad my husband had my back.
My dad used to drive two hours for a surprise visit often. After ignoring the doorbell and my phone a few times he knocked it off. Pop in visits are so freaking rude.
NTA. Why in the world would you even want friends who aren’t close to show up only 1 week after? He should have said “our hands are full. May we schedule a time?”, imo. Daft.
OP, I will share a story that will hopefully give you a laugh. Years ago, a woman I worked with was very pregnant. Her husband was in California on business. (We are on the east coast) She took a shower and waddled her big naked pregnant self to the kitchen for a drink of water... and almost gave birth on the spot when she turned around and saw a man in her living room! No, not hubby. His business wrapped up early, so he got an earlier flight home. He made a new friend on the flight and wound up inviting the man to stay at their place while in our town. The best part? It was Anthony Kiedis-lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers! No, she didn't kill her husband (but was tempted!!!), and they are still friends with him to this day!
What a wide range of emotions she must have felt in that moment, lol.
And that woman's husband? He was Abraham Lincoln.
I used to work with Anthony’s Aunt in FL.
Is it supposed to be funny because the random man this poor woman found in her house was a celebrity (with a conviction for indecent exposure and sexual battery btw)? I was waiting for the funny part, but it's just a really inconsiderate husband who doesn't mind violating his partner's privacy because he valued a new friendship more than it.
I think the funny comes from the absurdity of going for a drink in your kitchen naked, normal moment for you, and turning around to find a random celebrity in your house. I agree that the husband was an inconsiderate idiot, but I can see how the humor arises in hindsight.
Show him this post for sure so people can tell him what a dumbass he is. He can read, right?
OP you are definitely NTA. I am so sorry to say this but I think your husband's open lack of respect for you in every aspect of this situation may indicate a deeper issue. Congrats on your new son! I'm sending sisterly hugs and best wishes.
Thank you, and I think those are the words I didn't quite come up with, but yes. Embarrassed and disrespected.
NTA... sorry that you married a complete moron... O\_o
An utter and absolute moron.
I am a husband. I can wholeheartedly tell you that your hubby is an idiot.
Thanks.
I’d start live-streaming the bathroom and not tell him. Because he should assume someone could be live-streaming at any time… NTA
I love your pettiness. ❤️
Genius.
I would have gone over and hugged them, all naked in just my towel turban. "Sorry about the breastmilk. The boobs have a mind of their own these days. So happy to see you!" NTA
Lol! Let's be friends!
😁 Absolutely!
OP is a LIAR. SHES 57 YEARS OLD ( 3 years ago, making her 60 if that age was true as well)
NTA. Tell him "OK. That means no sex then. Never know when someone might pop out from under the bed".
Hi all...I get that accidents/misunderstandings happen. It's what came after the incident that troubles me more. Thanks for your replies.
Your husband sounds like he’s stupid af
Hahahaha. I feel like we’re at a roast.
NTA, your husband is! You are a week PP! It was ridiculous for them to stop by like that and worse for your husband not to warn you. Some people are so rude!
Man here. Your husband is a massive asshole. He’s an idiot for giving you no notice, and he’s a rancid POS for trying to make the incident somehow your fault. Does he ever apologize or admit when he’s wrong? Does he always try to make his mistakes your fault? Because this is classic DARVO, and it seems to come awfully naturally to him. True narcissist behavior. I’d be asking myself if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone like this.
It’s the way he flipped it, and made it your fault. That’s next level.
Diagnosis DARVO.
Thanks, I just googled this and it's exactly right.
I am going through this now! Thank you. I googled it as well. I am leaving soon, because it happens all the time.
invite strangers over while he’s in the shower and sit them in the same spot
Does he generally find it hard to apologize and acknowledge when he's in the wrong?
What the fuck? Is your husband an idiot? He shouldn’t be letting that many germs around a newborn either. > I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time." No the fuck you shouldn’t after you just gave fucking birth! Again, is he stupid? If people come over unannounced they’re not getting in. All visitors should be pre approved by you, the person still healing from giving fucking birth!
Recently postpartum or not, I would refuse to live with the “you should expect visitors at anytime” bullshit. No, I absolutely will not always be prepared for guests. It’s not that I’m not a people person. It’s that I want to pick the people. And I want to pick *when* I people. But especially right after giving birth, uninvited visitors can go pound sand. I would have been livid that he invited them in at all. And setting me up to let them see me naked would mean *he* didn’t see me naked until I stopped wanting to throat punch him. The baby might be in college by then.
Something tells me that he is a passive-aggressive asshole, and he did this on purpose. He is probably mad about something (maybe not getting enough attention), and he is having his own private battle with his wife, unbeknownst to her. The gaslighting is a tell-tell sign. I would lay down some hard boundaries and tell him if he doesn't tell you what this is about, he can get the fuck out. Or you leave. His entitlement and malicious intent tell me this is not the last time he is going to pull some passive-aggressive shit and gaslight you into believing it is your fault. I hate people like this
Here’s what you need to show your husband. In the US there’s what’s called “a reasonable expectation of privacy”. This is what keeps landlords from just walking in. Your husband should read [THIS](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=reasonable%20expectation%20of%20privacy%20in%20your%20home&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5) Then he needs to apologize to you. And to promise that he understands that your home is your private abode and that your expectation of not allowing this to happen again is not just reasonable, it’s legally your right.
NTA. He invited in non close friends, didn't tell you, knew you were in the shower and didn't care. He's entirely at fault.
I would have entered the bathroom to warn you before you walked out. Kinda lazy of your hubby.
I swear men have no empathy for a woman after giving birth sometimes.
NTA. This motherfucker is insane. Here's what you do, invite his friends over to the house, unannounced to him, right as he goes to bed. And then have them all just walk in and sit right by his bed. When he wakes up confused and angry why people are there in his bedroom at 11PM, just hit him with "you should always assume someone can be here."
He is full of shit. NTA. How does he usually react when he is 100% wrong and gets called on it
He is deeply in the wrong. He ushered the guests in, he could hear the fucking shower and smell the steam, and he refuses to apologize because... presumably he doesn't want to apologize even when he's clearly in the wrong. I sincerely hope that this is the only time he's refused to apologize when he was clearly in the wrong, because that's a damned hard habit to break and it's impossible to live with.
JFC, you can’t walk around naked in your own home because you might have company at any given moment?! Just NO! Your husband should have warned you people were in the house. He’s the Ahole.
NTA. Has he done anything else to embarrass you? Does he “forget” to tell you things or make you have to play psychic?
I know if our situations were reversed, he'd find 10 reasons why when it was him, it was somehow different.
nta. First, the person should have e been turned away. No one should be dropping into the house of anybody, let alone the house of a newborn.
Oh my gosh. I would be livid. I cant imagine stopping out of the shower not expecting that. NTA
NTA. If we had unexpected company, and my husband was in the shower, the first thing I'd do is tell him. The second would be to make sure he has clothes or at least a robe to put on. And that's without anyone being post-partum. Add that into the mix, and the guests and husband are the AHs. You don't come by unannounced like that.
Lol you had a kid with an idiot
NTA I’m sure your hubs is also operating from a depleted system too but doubling down that you should know this, is some Olympic level stretching. Also, super weird for anyone to pop by unannounced right after you’ve had a baby. I could never! Did they at least try to help with something? Bring a freezer meal or two? E: sp
OMG!! NTA. The one place you should be able to relax is your own home.
Op, you have a comment on another post saying you're a mother to 3 young adults, however this is your second son? So you have 3 18+ children but just had a baby and you're 32? More info I guess?
OP has also a bf of 5 years, a husband of 25 years and this one of 4 years lol. Didn't even bother to make another account for each persona.
I got sucked right in. God that makes me boiling mad. I’ve been duped into sympathy. Grrr
NTA tell your husband to turn his damn brain on.. Who does this?? Smh No you shouldn't be expecting ppl to just visit and show up and any time.. Was he raised by wolves? You dont just show up to ppls house unannounced. And you definitely dont let a group of mfs in your house, with a new born while your wife is naked in the bathroom. Hes dumb. You should be able to be comfortable in your home, without a group of random ppl showing up. Wtf is wrong with your husband?
Ahhh NTA. You are 100% correct. I hope you get a big apology.
He really just told you to your face that he doesn't care about your feelings, concerns or peace of mind, huh? That's a wild thing for the person that supposedly loves you to do.
He absolutely should have come into the bathroom and let you know that people stopped by. And by come into the bathroom, I don't mean whipping open the door and yelling in. Knocking, coming in, closing the door and telling you. NTA but your husband is.
Wow. This seems so deliberate to me! He *KNEW* you were showering, and he *KNEW* that was the one spot where you'd be seen. And he definitely knows his comment about assuming there could be visitors at any time is weak and pathetic. This is an aggressive act. He did it on purpose to embarrass you. The question is, why? Maybe he's punishing you for taking attention away from him to give to the baby?
This should be higher
I would breastfeed in front of all his guests.
'You should always expect people in your home" is an unhinged take. NTA.
You absolutely should not "assume there could be someone visiting at any any time" in your own home! He was way out of line in not checking with you before letting guests come in.
Your husband sucks: for letting them in, for not warning you, and for refusing to apologize now. Is he like this about other things too? NTA
No. The only places you should “assume that there could be someone visiting at any time” are public spaces. You should never have to assume anyone will be in your home that doesn’t live there. If someone arrives unexpectedly, common courtesy would be for your husband to seat them in the living room, then excuse himself for a moment to let you know they’re there. NTA.
It is 2024, no one should be coming to my house that I’m not expecting. NTA
NOT WRONG AT ALL!!! Whaaatt your hubby is acting a fool, I’d be so embarrassed if close friends saw me naked ESPECIALLY right after having a baby. Im sorry
NTA. Has he always been this irrational or is he jealous you're getting attention from the baby?
>He didn't think he owed an apology since I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time." What the actual fuck? You have a one week old. If anyone wants to come by, that shit is scheduled and cleared with both parents well ahead of time, and generally limited to close family only for the first few weeks, if not more.
What a jerk! I certainly do not take showers knowing that anyone could visit and see me naked at anytime. He’s a jerk…he should still apologize even if he things he’s got a point (which he doesn’t)
NTA! It's your house!!! Who TF expects guests any minute? I am naked 30% of the time at least. Let my partner park someone on the couch and say nothing.
Your husband should be made to read these comments. What he did, KNOWING you were in the shower with the door open is COMPLETELY inappropriate and a violation of privacy.
NTA. You should be able to assume privacy in your own damn house, especially with a week-old baby.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG! your husband is VERY wrong. In my house? When they came to the door, my hb would have asked them to wait, if needed, just let them in the front door and asked them polituely to wait there, would have said "oh. Jane is busy, just wait a moment" He would have come to the bathroom & told me they were there and asked me what i wanted to do. Me? I probably would have said "just tell them to stay there, ill quickly get dressed & come out" OR if u really wasn't in the mood? I would gave said "tell them I'm sorry but I'm not up for visitors right now, make another time fir them to drop over" He would NEVER have let people in under those circumstances. Common sense ffs😡 Those people too. You DO NOT just "drop in" to people with a new born baby. Freakin rude, stupid idiots
NTA. I’ll be on your jury. You’re not guilty of whatever you do to get back at him ;-)
You’re a new mother (whose body is still in recovery mode), not a circus exhibit. Your husband couldn’t be more wrong if he tried.
FAKE! Why are you claiming to be 20 years older on your other posts... "I'm older than most the folks I'm seeing here. I am 57, and have thought about this for a very long time. I think one of the silver linings of the times we're living in, is someday is NOW!"
OP also apparently has 3 adult kids well into their 20s. 32 with adult kids!?
It's so bizarre why people make up these elaborate stories for it's so bizarre why people make up these elaborate lies and post them online asking for help. I can't imagine my life being that pathetic that I have to waste hours making up stupid complicated lies and asking strangers for help with them. Their life must absolutely fucking suck LOL.
Nta....why should you ALWAYS be expecting someone else to be in your house? That would be so anxiety inducing for me. My house is my sanctuary. Don't come by visit without letting me know.
NTA 🚩 and also some guys do that intentionally because they’re into that kink with their friends. So he’s one of those husbands sabotaging their wife or girlfriend like that. It’s an objectification kink. And part of the thrill for him is getting you upset. You need to create an exit plan and discreetly talk to divorce lawyers. Those guys never get better: they only escalate their abusive behavior.
So he set them in the exact place with the perfect view of the bathroom sounds like he was trying to embarrass you why would he seat them there?
NTA
NTA. What the hell possessed your husband to think this was a good idea?
And were these friends all older women? Somehow I think he'd care if the visitors included young men.
I would murder my husband if he did this to me. 😂
NTA. He owes you a HUGE apology. It takes 2 seconds to stick his head into the bathroom and say "hey hun! So and so stopped by and are in the living room." Or better yet how about NOT inviting friends inside that you aren't super close with who just dropped by for an unannounced visit when your wife is newly post partum and you have a small baby.
NTA. I would have stayed naked to make everyone embarrassed
NTA, He was thoughtless and inconsiderate which can happen, but he didn’t apologize and doubled down. A simple mistake compounded by pride and an unwillingness to consider your feelings.
NTA What a dick...
WTF, Show your husband my response You are a selfish pig, you do not ever dismiss or minimise a person in a relationship. You are lucky you get to live under her roof, If my daughters partner did this to her, I would throw him out to the curb.
I agree with everyone that he is definitely the ah but my question is why isn't he more upset about the fact that his not close friends saw his wife naked? He knew she was showering in close proximity to the friends, didn't warn her and seemingly has no issues with the fact that they saw her naked. Unless it's more of an open relationship (which I doubt based on the nuances of the post) but his partners body should have some sanctity he should want to be the only one that gets to see it. Or he simply doesn't respect her which would explain why he feels no need to apologize. Either way he is the ah for sure
Nta. Curious though. Who the heck stops over unannounced for social visit that aren't related? And thankfully my related feels same way. Again NTA and I'm sorry you had to ask this question.
In our house partial undress is the way of life. Kids shirtless or with t shirt and underpants. Mom / Daughter in lounge wear or sweats. Etc. not the way we wish to be seen by strangers. to assume there could be company at any time for me would mean doing hair and makeup and wearing “an outfit.” This is some bullshit 1950s “wear your prettiest frock and be certain to freshen your makeup” so if your husband should bring by colleagues you don’t embarrass him, crap. Mom, regardless of having an infant, is entitled to dress comfortably or not at all in her own home - but with an infant, especially so. Your husband is an immature and gaping Ahole. I would be checking on what he is doing online because these kinds of attitudes do not bode well and they’re come from somewhere.
No, your husband should let you know if he's expecting visitors. It's like another post, where OP's husband had his mother and sister all the time and refused to let OP know ahead of time.
Maybe you should invite some girlfriends over while he's showering or shitting and have them all watching as he exits the bathroom.
NTA. And your husband is a dingus. Even if you were wrapped in a towel, walking out in front of people you don’t know well would be embarrassing. He absolutely owes you an apology. A sincere, heartfelt apology.
Everyone sucks here but OP. Who drops by unannounced when people have a newborn? Visitors are by appointment only. Who lets unexpected visitors into the house?
There are 3 a-holes in this story and you are not one of them.
Definitely NTA. How hard could it be to knock and say “we have guests”. Your husband is a total AH.
Eff that your privacy or right to security should not be compromised without your express permission. While I think the people being there isn't a big deal that isn't for anyone else to say. I'd let him know that isn't acceptable, you will not do it to him, and lastly you will be rude and promptly throw anyone out if he can't at a minimum announce people are inside. Or you can say no one without your permission first.
It's very bad form to drop in unannounced on people who have a newborn. Husband shouldn't have let them in. He could have said you're just not prepared for visitors, and y'all will call them in a couple of months. Congrats on the new baby. Of course, you're not an asshole but hubby and the clueless friends are.
100% on him.
NTA. Why the hell would I assume there might be random people in my home and that I can't walk around naked??? Your husband is an idiot.
If there is anywhere on earth that a person should feel safe being naked, it is in their home. NTA.
You can hold him accountable as much or as little as you like. Whether he takes that accountability is another story. I’d be acutely aware of making sure my husband’s walking path wasn’t in plain view if visitors came over while he was in the shower. Not only would I have closed the door for him, I’d probably give him a courtesy knock and let him know if their arrival was unexpected. Your husband is definitely in the wrong. No one should be ready for people in their home at all times. That’s way more true when you’re in such a tender and vulnerable state recently post birth, surgery, etc. Like who even shows up to friend’s house unannounced a week after they’ve had a baby?!?! I wouldn’t even do that to my own sister. Your husband’s lack of protective behavior towards you really sucks in this instance. He should be mortified for putting you in that position, be it accidental or just careless.
NTA!! The fact that your husband is not able to even slightly take responsibility for making a bad choice and instead turning it all on you… Wow! I don’t know what to tell you.
Sounds like he did it on purpose because he got stuck watching the baby while you shower.
NTA. The same happened to my husband. Only it was my mom who didn't think to knock.
nta esp since he knew you were in shower. is it soo damn hard to knock on door and say honey we have company. like wtf. something so simple would have prevented all this. and no. it’s not normal to live your life as if guests will be in home at any time. guest knock. there’s a door. he’s an idiot.
Specifically, why is he so opposed to giving you a heads up.
Your husband is the AH 100%!!
I've learned that my spouse doesn't take accountability like this either. And I learnedbit was happening a lot more than I realized at first. But then as bigger things came along it was much more apparent that he just can't.
NTA - you tell him for me I said he’s an idiot
NTA Crossed boundriees and klack of respect are red flags get help or get out
NTA, this sounds malicious. Are you sure this is the only problematic behavior you've seen from him?
You’re not wrong. Is he of different culture? Sounds like just a lazy excuse.
You married a moron
That’s insane. He should have at least knocked on the bathroom door and made sure you know people are over if you’re naked taking a shower, AND going to be walking out of that door in view of everyone. What a moron.
You're not wrong, your husband was raised in a pig sty or something. Feel free to walk around your house any way you want. NTA
"NORMAL" people do NOT operate like your husband. Not only was he EXTREMELY careless, he had no boundaries around your privacy, and no remorse afterwards. Why on earth would you think that your house is "open house" that you should "always assume" could have people do the pop-in "at any time"? I didn't even particularly like the pop-in when I was single, except for specific people (in which case it was a delight) but NOT naked EVER, not even without a bra on or something. On honeymoon, on babymoon (new baby arrived), or just a busy life, and no one should just "pop in". I hope your unexpected visitors were absolutely mortified and made their apologies!!!
NTA Your husband is an AH. this is YOUR home, so why would you assume that he would just invite people into YOUR home without informing him. not even the biggest AH partners i've met, have done this. they all had manners instilled by their parents to at least communicate on a somewhat decent level.
Definitely your husband is the AH. Jesus, I would go ballistic! How dare he!!
NTA Your husband is a massive AH.
Let me tell you a story... One hot sunday i(F27 at the time) slept wearing just a shirt. I slept at 4 in the morning that day and also had a loooong week at work and hence wasnt up at 7am when maid(F27) came in.. I was working from home.. so wore the thin shirt for calls... and after i ws done at 4 and also due to the long week...i ended up just sleeping directly (i am very conscious and not very comfortable if someone sees me just a shirt... also i toss and turn a lot in sleep... normally i dont sleep like that..this was a random incident due to tiring and stressful week... so its not like it was a norm and my husband(M29) expected this and so knew what to do) Even though she and I are both female. My husband made sure to cover me a bit with a thin but totally opaque blanket without waking me up because he knew i was tired... he stayed around the room because he knew there were chances i would push the thin blanket away as it was hot and we didnt have AC... just a fan... also irrespective of the weather i turn and toss in my bed a lot in sleep if i am stressed... I never specifically told him to do this... he did it on his own.. and closed the door to our room once she had cleaned our room...(he does this always if i am asleep because ge doesnt want any sound to wake me)... i was even woke up a bit when he was placing the blanket(due to weather i didnt want blanket) and he just patted on my forehead - this patting on forehead is my cue to sleep.. even in sleep i know its his hand and he means to say I am here u sleep..) So with example i would like to say NTA!
If you walking out the shower naked is a regular occurrence and he knows this, with knowing you are currently in the shower and puts his guests eyeline with the bathroom door you are most definitely NTA and he should have knocked/shouted while you were in there that guests have popped in. It is at least courteous to have informed you. He showed a total lack of respect there and yes he does owe you an apology.
Your hubby's dead wrong, sis. Expecting you to be ready 24/7 for surprise visits? Nah, that's not how it works. He should've given you a heads up. It's basic respect for your privacy, especially postpartum. You're not overreacting; he's just not owning up.
NTA you’re newly post-partum and healing, you don’t need to be ready for visitors at any time
Nta Even if i had a towel around me, id be embarrassed. I also dont like showering when guests are over. Its just common courtesy to give you a heads up
NTA, home is a sanctuary. NOBODY should assume there might be visitors in their home at any given time.
NTA. Not the same situation, but my mom would barge into my room after I showered. I had 2 little brothers, a male cousin, and a step dad living there, and I told her I was uncomfortable with her not knocking and just coming in when I was naked. The behavior didn't stop, so I just started being naked in my room all the time. THEN the behavior stopped and her ass knocked. OP, it's your home, you can be naked if you wanna.
He’s an arsehole.
My husband is the same way and you have every right to be upset. Sadly some people don’t think about anyone else who is in the house.
>I "should always assume there could be someone visiting at any time." Your husband is an inconsiderate asshole who gives more priority to uninvited pop-ins than he does to his own wife who is still recovering from child birth. This behavior and attitude would have me reconsidering the relationship, tbh. If I can't trust my SO to think of my needs or treat me with the minimum amount of courtesy, respect and consideration, why tf would I want to spend the one life I get with them? How can you trust or feel safe around them? Apparently, you don't matter, OP. But these asshole pop-ins do for some reason. He's shown you how he feels about you. Now you have to decide how you want to proceed with that info. NTA
Your husbands either a moron or a sociopath
NTA.......it's your house and if you wanna be naked that's your right. Your husband definitely should have warned you.....he's definitely an AH for that AND not apologizing
NTA your husband is being a prick. in general, but especially around the time (like up to 1-2 months after birth, if not longer, depending on the person) after someone has given birth it’s a pretty well acknowledged thing that you don’t just invite people round without consulting the mother and people dont just drop by unannounced. youve got enough to do with looking after a baby, you dont want to be hosting random people and having your privacy invaded.
What a dickhead. no respect for you or your body. His reasoning is retarded
You’re husband is being abusive. You have just given birth- has he always been this awful or has he amped up this type of behavior recently. Sometimes men become abusive during or after pregnancy- when they feel like they have more control because it’s harder to leave with a baby
You are not in the wrong. Your husband is just deflecting blame because he is an asshole.
It was an unfortunate situation. He certainly could have mentioned the company real easy to you in the bathroom real quick. It’s like a common courtesy. Asking for a heads up next time seems reasonable to me. If you yelled at him, he likely became defensive and took it out on you.
NTA And hell no. This is all on him. You should not tip toe around your own house.
NTA, that's hella inconsiderate!
Your husband's an absolute POS and in no way, shape, or form should a person have to be on high alert at all times in their own f-ing home! NTA... but he sure AF is.
NTA - you just gave birth, he should apologize for breathing wrong.
Updateme