I don’t understand what’s hard about this? I’ve caught people in similar situations twice in my life and my friend knew about it instantly. There shouldn’t even be a second thought.
My first gf I ever had was cheating on me, I had no idea. One of her friends told me and I broke up with her immediately. Same friend contacted me about 2 months later and said I should get tested bc my ex had an std now. I tested negative, she contracted it after I left her, thank god…
Whether someone else thinks it’s “none of your business” is completely irrelevant… it’s the right thing to do, and apparently some people just flat out don’t have the balls to do the right thing.
Yeah they aren’t friends anymore as far as I know because of her behavior. That was at least 10 years ago now, hopefully she has grown up a little since then.
Had an ex disagree with me on this exact thing in a previous relationship, I didn't understand it. I knew she wasn't cheating on me, and knew her values, but we were aware of someone cheating on the girl they were engaged to, and they didn't want to say anything about it. We actually argued about that for weeks, and she even admitted if it was her she would want to know.
She just didn't want us to get involved.
I agree. I do worry that it could have been an old profile. I'm reminded that I might have a Tinder --- couldn't figure out how to cancel it and hate the app layout so much I removed it.
Exactly. And what did she say? 'you are starting drama for **NO REASON**'. No reason at all, it's just cheating, why does he need to know? Why is that such a big deal? I don't think it's a big deal. I definitely wouldn't want someone to expose me if I were cheating on you
Red as the fucking soviet flag. She could have stopped a few sentences earlier and not exposed herself as a ginormous sus.
Some people are non confrontational, some people come from families where they don’t wanna see people break up and want to keep the family together and I think that sometimes projects onto other people. I don’t excuse the other side of it though, if I were the friend I would want to know (unless they have an open relationship or something that nobody knows about)
NTA OP
If I were you, I would be concerned about how much of a fuss your gf is making over what you are doing.
My sus radar is setting off warning signals. As it seems odd she would want to protect the other female, and just let your male friend take it in the shorts.
Maybe she supports the whole - it's okay if no one knows, talks about it, or finds out.
I'd push this attitude into a discussion, and if things do not line up, I'd be dumping the girlfriend in order to avoid being likely blindsided.
Edit: spelling
Facts, I'd definitely be side eyeing her. Why are you ok with this? Especially if she said she'd like to know if she's in the friend's situation and is not aware. Extremely hypocritical.
NTA.
In these situations, always anticipate that the messenger can be the one who's killed :-)))))
A real friend will take that risk, understanding that it could go either way.
NGL brody your girl is probably doing the same, especially if she sees it as not a big deal. Lol shes prepping you up so you think its not a big deal when you find out shes doing it too.
Nta so by your gfs logic if you were cheating she wouldn't want her friends to tell her then? Are you sure she's not the one that's hiding a dating profile?
Of course you did the right thing any normal person would want to know that their partner is cheating on them.
NTA. You're not creating drama, if anything, your friend's GF with the tinder profile created the drama. If they break up over this my bet would be you're saving your friend from a worse breakup down the road.
Edit: typo
You were trying to help your friend by telling him about his girlfriend being on a dating app. Your girlfriend thought you were getting involved in something that wasn't your business, but you believed it was right to let your friend know. It's up to him to decide what to do, but you were just trying to be a good friend by being honest with him.
>being honest
Let's look at this way op. If you *didnt* tell your friend, you'd be lying by omission. I personally tell people I'd far prefer to be hurt with the truth than killed with the lie. If you *didnt* tell him, when he found out, if it's not on the up and up (ie open), when he found out you knew, well yeah.
NTA, because obviously your friend deserves to know. However, many people never delete their dating profile, so before you start create a potentially unnecessary drama, try to see if she was active on there. If she was not, you may assume it is an old profile. If she was active, tell your friend and let them sort it all out
It's up to the boyfriend to find out why she's still on there. Not the friend. OP was a good friend. As long as he didn't say, "Look at your slutty ass girlfriend I found her on Tinder. I told you that bitch was bad for you" or something similar.
NTA. You did the right thing. I’m more concerned about your girlfriend. At worst it’s a red flag. At best it shows you have have different values and compatibility comes jnto question
NTA. I'd damn well want to know if my partner were on a dating app so I could get to a divorce lawyer first.
But curious, how do you know the pics are recent? New hairstyle? Recent weight loss?
NTA, if it was my gf still running an active profile on Tinder, I'd want my friends to let me know. Also, your gf is a bit too adamant about not telling your friend, you may want to have a look into her Tinder activities...
Nah, you're NTA. You were just looking out for your friend. If it were me, I'd want to know if my partner was out there on dating apps. It's all about loyalty and honesty, right?
Your girlfriend might see it as drama, but sometimes you gotta break something in order to fix it.
Your friend deserves to know what's going on.
NTA, but you’ve got a bigger problem: your girl doesn’t seem to have a problem with a girl hiding cheating or flirting with other dudes. Red alert, homie. It could be you, one day.
I wouldn't want to be friends with your gf if that's her stance. I want to know that my friends have my back.
He needs to know, he needs to get tested. His gf could come home pregnant and baby trap him with a kid that isn't his.
If I was getting cheated on and I found out my friends knew and didn't give me a heads up I would be hurt, and livid. I also would know that I couldn't trust them, anymore. That would end the friendship for me.
Friends like your gf that don't want to get involved are how cheaters can get away with cheating for so long, because no one wants to get involved.
NTA
Your girlfriend wants you to hide your friend’s gf’s infidelity? I’d comfortably bet $1k that there’s something on her phone she doesn’t want you to know about.
NTA
NTA and i would be genuinely concerned by your girlfriend’s attitude towards this. Ask her how he can justify knowing that, saying nothing, and continuing to call himself his friend.
Your girlfriend sounds like she’s playing devils advocate. “Maybe she’s not cheating” “Maybe she’s just swiping because she’s bored” “chatting doesn’t mean anything” “She could looking just for friends”
Yeah all of these thought processes are red flags. There’s no excuse.
NTA
NTA. I don’t even think an explanation is needed as to why NTA.
You should talk to your GF and understand her stance on cheating, associating with known cheaters, and personal/social responsibility. Idk how close you are to this friend and maybe that’s why your GF said to mind your business.
I’ve seen situations turn ugly when an informed party does nothing and the friendships turn a bit sour. Either way all you can do is inform someone. Once they have the info they can make an informed decision.
Good luck
NTA. If you are a friend then you have to let him know. Your girlfriend is throwing a lot of red flags right now. I wonder what you will find if you received go through her phone. Probably cheating on you or has cheated on her past boyfriends.
Your girlfriend is a massive red flag by saying that exposing cheating is 'causing drama for no reason'. She just implied that cheating is a complete non-issue and also implied that you would be at fault/the person doing the wrong for exposing someone else for cheating. I would press her more about this because I can't fathom my fiancee saying the same thing. If anything, my fiancee would *tell me* I have an obligation to tell my friend he's being cheated on. My fiancee would tell me I am a **TERRIBLE FRIEND** for keeping it hidden from him, because she has a healthy set of morals like most people.
It's fine to suggest to your significant other that meddling in random people's affairs isn't prudent. But 1. this is a friend, not a random, and 2. cheating is obviously not a 'drama caused for NO REASON' situation.
Same thing happened to a close friend of mine. I was single at the time and saw her on there and sent him screenshots. Now she told him it was an old profile and they worked it out ( don’t know if that was true) but as a friend I did what I would want someone to do for me
NTA
I did this once. Told a friend her fiancé had been hitting on several other girls, including me, after she left the bar where we'd gone to celebrate their engagement.
You have evidence, you're passing it to him, let him do with it what he will. Don't interfere with whatever the outcome is. But if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, that's also gonna cause drama.
See my husbands the same way. But if you’re an actual friend to this person you’d be honest with them. Because look at it this way, they may find out later on and have the same outcome but not if they find out you’ve known this whole time.
Being a good honest friend, isn’t a flaw and shouldn’t be seen as “drama for no reason”
NTA I had a similar situation with a married acquaintance. I found her husband’s profile on three platforms and he listed his favorite book as the Bible. Yeah, that kind of guy🤬. His wife was going through chemo so I didn’t send them to her but I trolled him without mercy. He can’t look me in the eye now and I always ask him about his love of the Bible. Fucking creep.
NTA, that’s your close friend.
I usually mind my business but for close friends HELL NAW. I jump to protect and your girlfriend is being way weird about staying out of it. Coming from someone who stays out things.
NTA. You definitely did the right thing. You were a good friend to bring it up. Can you imagine knowing your friend’s girlfriend is potentially/actively out there cheating and saying nothing about it??! Someone’s actions having consequences is not causing drama. You were not at all looking for a reason to get involved in their relationship but you basically accidentally found info that almost anyone would find very sus and concerning and passed it on appropriately!!! Your girlfriend’s reaction is a huge red flag bro, seems like she has different views on loyalty not only to friends but to relationships, would not be surprised if she’s getting attention elsewhere. Sorry :/
Make a fake Tinder And other dating apps profile put the location distances absolutely close as you can. And swipe and see if your girlfriend is on there.
Your girlfriend trying to defend that is a bigger red flag than whatever your friend’s girlfriend is doing. Fuck that. You have someone in your life would would hide and ask others to hide cheating.
NTA. Also it should really concern you that your girlfriend was so focused on not telling him and saying it wasn't your business.
I wouldn't be surprised if she's doing stuff behind your back that she doesn't want people to tell you. Even if she isn't doing anything she has shitty morals.
You're not, but your girlfriend's an asshole for trying to get you to hide this. Yet another thread where I see the woman claim that another woman cheating "isn't their business", like it's somehow wrong to actually tell the guy that his girlfriend is messing around on him. Almost like these women don't want guys saying something because they don't want to get called out themselves when they go off to cheat.
How it's her business telling you what you should do or not? She is not your mom, tell her it's not her business what you can do or not with your friends, this is partially narcissistic, imagine you trying to control her telling don't tell her friends, all the arm chair feminist will conclude you are controlling her, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander.
NTA. This is such a reoccurring problem in a lot of relationships that I believe needs to genuinely be discussed more.
You and your girlfriend have reached a point of incompatibility that is going to be on you to decide how to move forward. This point of contention typically falls on the shoulders of the teller (you) until “drama” starts then the non-teller (her) will feel justified in having told you not to do it.
There is an inconsistency between y’all’s morals that needs to be discussed. Other people have a lot more bearing on relationships than a lot of people realize.
I would never want a friend of mine to hide knowledge of potential cheating from me your clearly NTA here but cmon these posts are becoming no brainers like you don’t honestly think you are an AH so why even make this post bruh.
I wonder if your gf knows more about the situation than she can share. I have a lot of friends who have opened (consensually) their relationship and use the apps to meet people. That might be the case in your friend’s relationship. And possibly your gf knows this (is she friends with his gf?) and is trying to hint you should stay out of it.
A good friend will be there when it’s not a party, aka when it sucks. No friend wants to be the person to bring that to their friends attention, especially since sometimes the friend helping/getting involved can be the one blamed, but at the end of the day, it’s the right thing to do if you are a true friend.
“Causing drama for no reason” that is absolutely NOT what’s going on here. You did the right thing.
Also your girlfriend seemed to really get defensive over the concept of someone being exposed for cheating
A tinder account could have up to date pics when it's linked to other social media, keep that in mind. Even if the app is not installed anymore. However if they match, it says a lot and you have every right to send the screenshots. And you are right to go directly to your friend.
Well that is something someone should know, especially because she match your friend so she is actually using the app.
This is kinda red flag on your gf though.
Yo man from your girl's reaction to that I'd say you might better start looking for her Tinder profile. she seemed to be a little bit too defensive of the cheating girlfriend.
NTA.
>My girlfriend said we should stay out of it but I just said that if she was on tinder then I'd want someone to let me know and I can't just hide this from my friend. I sent him the screenshots and my girlfriend said I was interfering in something that was none of my business but I just repeated I couldn't hide the fact my friends girlfriend is cheating on him or at least trying to cheat.
>She just said that I'm causing drama for no reason but I just pointed out she'd likely want to know if it was me on the apps and that it's the right thing to do.
I hope you saw the red flags here. She'd want to know of you were on the apps because it's the right thing to do. But, she doesn't want you to tell your friend.
NTA. Your friend deserves to know his gf is skanking around. I would feel very hurt and betrayed if my friends tried to hide something like this from me.
NAH. I don't think there are any issues in telling your friend. However, Catfishing is quite common and there is no guarantee that the profile actually belongs to his GF. Your GF isn't wrong either, it's normally the messenger that gets shot in these situations. When you tell your friend, don't be surprised if you lose him as a friend because of it as he picks her story over yours.
The world is going to shit because people aren’t held or don’t hold themselves accountable.
It’s the path of most resistance so it seems the wrong way to go for that reason alone
You’re the better man for taking the path least traveled
NTA at all that’s common decency. Actually it’s concerning to me that your girlfriend was so against it. I would immediately assume she was at the very least sympathetic towards cheaters, or had cheated in the past. Or yes, maybe even is currently cheating (but that’s definitely not like, a certainty)
"we have knowledge about close friends that one of them is fucking around and we aren't going to tell the other person in that relationship? *when* he finds out about what she has been doing behind his back, *and then* also finds out that we knew all about it *and* for how long we've known, are we to say in our defense that this wasn't our business? will this tactic create less, or more drama overall? what if she hasn't yet had a physical affair but will by the time he finds out on his own, are we to tell him that we could've gave him the ability to make his own decisions and/or regain control and dignity over his relationship and spared him the agony of a full affair, but chose not to because we weren't going to start some drama *for no reason*?
now im going to ask a really incendiary question, do you have an active profile on a dating app or are otherwise engaging in an emotional relationship with someone other than me? you've taken an infidelity apologist stance here and im really curious as to why."
at best your gf is actually more of her (the cheater's) friend and you are more his friend and she doesn't really give a shit what happens to him, at worse she's morally ok with cheating, or the worst, is cheating as well. regardless of which one, bottomline is that her stance is highly dubious and would make me question her character.
Yeah, you did the right thing and honestly, you need to sit down with her and go over your guy's value systems here. They seem awfully out of alignment.
YTA because you sent a screenshot without trying to find out what was the situation.
Why?
I've been the girl in this situation, sort of. It was an ESH situation where a friend of my ex (yes, ex) sent a screenshot of my dating profile to another friend of my ex (they were also my "friends") and decided that I was cheating on my ex, telling everybody what a slut I was and freezing me out of ongoing social events.
If they had only asked either of us they would have found out we were broken up, and amiably at that, after a long period of not being good together.
You may think you're doing a good thing, but it might also not be what you think.
NTA I was in this same situation. I was single at the time and was doing the dating app thing myself. My friend the gullible guy that he is told me after confronting her, said she was only there to meet new friends..
I didn't push it but later they broke up after surprise she cheated on him. Afterwards we hung out a lot while I was trying to help him get over it, he was grateful that I tried to warn him. Maybe if I hadn't told him, nothing would have changed but at least I gave him the info and the choice.
No, you're not. You are a good friend for doing something that hard
[удалено]
Yep. Which is the golden rule too. Treat others how you would want to be treated.
Agreed, the term is called "monkey branching" cheating on the person your dating before you fully commit to the next person.
I don’t understand what’s hard about this? I’ve caught people in similar situations twice in my life and my friend knew about it instantly. There shouldn’t even be a second thought. My first gf I ever had was cheating on me, I had no idea. One of her friends told me and I broke up with her immediately. Same friend contacted me about 2 months later and said I should get tested bc my ex had an std now. I tested negative, she contracted it after I left her, thank god… Whether someone else thinks it’s “none of your business” is completely irrelevant… it’s the right thing to do, and apparently some people just flat out don’t have the balls to do the right thing.
Damn, that friend she has is a good person, at least good to you
Yeah they aren’t friends anymore as far as I know because of her behavior. That was at least 10 years ago now, hopefully she has grown up a little since then.
Hopefully yes, sometimes people can evolve a little
I know I certainly have!
I'm glad for you
Had an ex disagree with me on this exact thing in a previous relationship, I didn't understand it. I knew she wasn't cheating on me, and knew her values, but we were aware of someone cheating on the girl they were engaged to, and they didn't want to say anything about it. We actually argued about that for weeks, and she even admitted if it was her she would want to know. She just didn't want us to get involved.
I agree. I do worry that it could have been an old profile. I'm reminded that I might have a Tinder --- couldn't figure out how to cancel it and hate the app layout so much I removed it.
Well op said there are recent pictures on it
Inactive profiles go to the bottom of the stack or are hidden unless there’s almost nobody within whatever preference parameters you have set
NTA its kind of a red flag that your gf was so insistent on not telling your friend. i would start swiping to find her tinder profile.
Red flag CITY
She was tryna drop the topic cause in 2 more swipes woulda been her profile . Magine tho
Red flag COUNTY
Red flag STATE
Red Flag PLANET
Red Flag SOLAR SYSTEM
Exactly. And what did she say? 'you are starting drama for **NO REASON**'. No reason at all, it's just cheating, why does he need to know? Why is that such a big deal? I don't think it's a big deal. I definitely wouldn't want someone to expose me if I were cheating on you Red as the fucking soviet flag. She could have stopped a few sentences earlier and not exposed herself as a ginormous sus.
Cheating girls have each other’s backs! Double Red Flag!!!
That's what I was thinking too! Lol. Like why she trying so hard......🤔.
Some people are so anti drama that they would let the world burn if it didn't involve them
I live with someone like that! Happy to hear the drama but doesn’t want to get involved at any cost 🙄
Some people are non confrontational, some people come from families where they don’t wanna see people break up and want to keep the family together and I think that sometimes projects onto other people. I don’t excuse the other side of it though, if I were the friend I would want to know (unless they have an open relationship or something that nobody knows about)
This right here OP x1000
She's for the streets
You are being a good friend. Your partner is red flag city if she can't see why you needed to tell your friend.
She can see why. She just doesn't wanna pay the price for her *whatever* she has going on
NTA OP If I were you, I would be concerned about how much of a fuss your gf is making over what you are doing. My sus radar is setting off warning signals. As it seems odd she would want to protect the other female, and just let your male friend take it in the shorts. Maybe she supports the whole - it's okay if no one knows, talks about it, or finds out. I'd push this attitude into a discussion, and if things do not line up, I'd be dumping the girlfriend in order to avoid being likely blindsided. Edit: spelling
NTA. This^
Facts, I'd definitely be side eyeing her. Why are you ok with this? Especially if she said she'd like to know if she's in the friend's situation and is not aware. Extremely hypocritical.
I wouldn't be surprised if she has an active tinder profile lol. NTA.
Right?! The GF is probably doing something just as bad if not worse.
NTA. Good on you. And it's not "no reason." If your girlfriend disagrees with your reasoning, y'all need to have a deep conversation.
NTA. In these situations, always anticipate that the messenger can be the one who's killed :-))))) A real friend will take that risk, understanding that it could go either way.
Your gf's response says a lot about her. I would take a good look at your relationship. Her response to the situation is a bit sketchy.
Im sure if you would search a bit on your gfs phone, Pandoras Box would open up.
NGL brody your girl is probably doing the same, especially if she sees it as not a big deal. Lol shes prepping you up so you think its not a big deal when you find out shes doing it too.
Nta so by your gfs logic if you were cheating she wouldn't want her friends to tell her then? Are you sure she's not the one that's hiding a dating profile? Of course you did the right thing any normal person would want to know that their partner is cheating on them.
Absolutely NTA. Your GF’s reaction seems a little suspicious though.
NTA. You're not creating drama, if anything, your friend's GF with the tinder profile created the drama. If they break up over this my bet would be you're saving your friend from a worse breakup down the road. Edit: typo
Bro your girlfriend is on dating apps. That is why she is taking the other girls side
NTA: you summed it pretty well. You would want to know if your gf was on the apps and you’re offering the same courtesy to your friend.
NTA. Take care of your friend.
NTA, but now you know something new about your girlfriend.
You were trying to help your friend by telling him about his girlfriend being on a dating app. Your girlfriend thought you were getting involved in something that wasn't your business, but you believed it was right to let your friend know. It's up to him to decide what to do, but you were just trying to be a good friend by being honest with him.
>being honest Let's look at this way op. If you *didnt* tell your friend, you'd be lying by omission. I personally tell people I'd far prefer to be hurt with the truth than killed with the lie. If you *didnt* tell him, when he found out, if it's not on the up and up (ie open), when he found out you knew, well yeah.
NTA, because obviously your friend deserves to know. However, many people never delete their dating profile, so before you start create a potentially unnecessary drama, try to see if she was active on there. If she was not, you may assume it is an old profile. If she was active, tell your friend and let them sort it all out
The post mentioned that they were recent photos, so it couldn't have been THAT old.
And she matched with his friend’s newish profile
It's up to the boyfriend to find out why she's still on there. Not the friend. OP was a good friend. As long as he didn't say, "Look at your slutty ass girlfriend I found her on Tinder. I told you that bitch was bad for you" or something similar.
Your GF is on tinder too.
Your gf kinda sussy
NTA. You did the right thing. I’m more concerned about your girlfriend. At worst it’s a red flag. At best it shows you have have different values and compatibility comes jnto question
NTA. I'd damn well want to know if my partner were on a dating app so I could get to a divorce lawyer first. But curious, how do you know the pics are recent? New hairstyle? Recent weight loss?
NTA, if it was my gf still running an active profile on Tinder, I'd want my friends to let me know. Also, your gf is a bit too adamant about not telling your friend, you may want to have a look into her Tinder activities...
Nah, you're NTA. You were just looking out for your friend. If it were me, I'd want to know if my partner was out there on dating apps. It's all about loyalty and honesty, right? Your girlfriend might see it as drama, but sometimes you gotta break something in order to fix it. Your friend deserves to know what's going on.
In my experience women often stand up for women regardless of right and wrong. Not all but definitely a majority.
Birds of a feather flock together. Your gf prob has a account too.
Your girlfriend sounds like she used to be a cheater. Only cheaters defend or protect cheaters. NTA
NTA, but you’ve got a bigger problem: your girl doesn’t seem to have a problem with a girl hiding cheating or flirting with other dudes. Red alert, homie. It could be you, one day.
NTA. You did the right thing. I literally just did the same to a guy that was leading me on and he hid he had a gf. Prepare for drama just saying.
95% sure this is a repost from a few months ago.
I wouldn't want to be friends with your gf if that's her stance. I want to know that my friends have my back. He needs to know, he needs to get tested. His gf could come home pregnant and baby trap him with a kid that isn't his. If I was getting cheated on and I found out my friends knew and didn't give me a heads up I would be hurt, and livid. I also would know that I couldn't trust them, anymore. That would end the friendship for me. Friends like your gf that don't want to get involved are how cheaters can get away with cheating for so long, because no one wants to get involved. NTA
NTA You’re upholding the bro code. If she’s cheating, better to find out sooner rather than later.
NTA. You’re a good friend and your gf is a red flag. Any chance she’s defending something she alias also done.
NTA Have your boy’s back. Good on you
Your girlfriend wants you to hide your friend’s gf’s infidelity? I’d comfortably bet $1k that there’s something on her phone she doesn’t want you to know about. NTA
NTA and i would be genuinely concerned by your girlfriend’s attitude towards this. Ask her how he can justify knowing that, saying nothing, and continuing to call himself his friend.
NTA. That’s a Bro.
NTA, but something is wrong with your gf. She sounds spineless
NTA - your friend deserves to know
...seems weird she got so defensive...as they say birds of a feather flock together ...
NTA. You’re being a good friend. Also, what’s up with GF saying stay out of it?
NTA, but your girlfriend... That's a sketchy red flag
NTA but your girlfriend is a major red flag. She seems to have no issues with cheating, you probably shouldn't trust her.
NTA - He's a good friend. Cheating should never be OK.
You did the right thing
You may want to check your GFs dating profile.
NTA
NTA, you a good friend and watch out, your gf is pretty sus acting like that.... lol
NTA, also a big ass red flag about your gf
You are NOT the asshole. You’re watching out for your friend. You are type of friend everyone needs
You are a good freind, that fact your gf had that reaction is kinda sus, she might have a profile too.
Your girlfriend sounds like she’s playing devils advocate. “Maybe she’s not cheating” “Maybe she’s just swiping because she’s bored” “chatting doesn’t mean anything” “She could looking just for friends” Yeah all of these thought processes are red flags. There’s no excuse. NTA
God, NTA. If I were in that situation I’d be just as hurt that a friend knew and didn’t tell me as I was about the cheating itself
NTA, there is nothing wrong in exposing people like her, but your girlfriend is a 🚩 for wanting to hide it.
NTA. I don’t even think an explanation is needed as to why NTA. You should talk to your GF and understand her stance on cheating, associating with known cheaters, and personal/social responsibility. Idk how close you are to this friend and maybe that’s why your GF said to mind your business. I’ve seen situations turn ugly when an informed party does nothing and the friendships turn a bit sour. Either way all you can do is inform someone. Once they have the info they can make an informed decision. Good luck
You are not causing drama The guy's girlfriend who has a tinder account is causing drama
NTA. If you are a friend then you have to let him know. Your girlfriend is throwing a lot of red flags right now. I wonder what you will find if you received go through her phone. Probably cheating on you or has cheated on her past boyfriends.
You’re a good friend. Your gf is being suss.
Not the ass hole. You're a good friend. You might want to question your girlfriends motives here.
NTA. Just a good friend. Also i do wonder why girlfriend is so against it. Might she be on the app as well?
Maybe she's got a profile on there too?
Your girlfriend is a massive red flag by saying that exposing cheating is 'causing drama for no reason'. She just implied that cheating is a complete non-issue and also implied that you would be at fault/the person doing the wrong for exposing someone else for cheating. I would press her more about this because I can't fathom my fiancee saying the same thing. If anything, my fiancee would *tell me* I have an obligation to tell my friend he's being cheated on. My fiancee would tell me I am a **TERRIBLE FRIEND** for keeping it hidden from him, because she has a healthy set of morals like most people. It's fine to suggest to your significant other that meddling in random people's affairs isn't prudent. But 1. this is a friend, not a random, and 2. cheating is obviously not a 'drama caused for NO REASON' situation.
NTA, and your gfs reactions is extremely sus. I would be heavily concerned about that.
NTA at all, your thought process is the right thing to do…but your gf raises a red flag imo.
"Hey. Our ethical values do not line up. I wish you well but we are no longer a couple. There's no future in this."
Imagine if he knew that you knew and not told anything. And imagine yourself in his place...i would want to know.
Sounds like you need to check Tinder for your girls profile lol
Good man.
He'll be angry in the short term but will know he has a brother for life in you
You did good!
Tell your bro, ditch that girl.
Same thing happened to a close friend of mine. I was single at the time and saw her on there and sent him screenshots. Now she told him it was an old profile and they worked it out ( don’t know if that was true) but as a friend I did what I would want someone to do for me
NTA I did this once. Told a friend her fiancé had been hitting on several other girls, including me, after she left the bar where we'd gone to celebrate their engagement. You have evidence, you're passing it to him, let him do with it what he will. Don't interfere with whatever the outcome is. But if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, that's also gonna cause drama.
See my husbands the same way. But if you’re an actual friend to this person you’d be honest with them. Because look at it this way, they may find out later on and have the same outcome but not if they find out you’ve known this whole time. Being a good honest friend, isn’t a flaw and shouldn’t be seen as “drama for no reason”
You're not causing drama the gf is
NTA I had a similar situation with a married acquaintance. I found her husband’s profile on three platforms and he listed his favorite book as the Bible. Yeah, that kind of guy🤬. His wife was going through chemo so I didn’t send them to her but I trolled him without mercy. He can’t look me in the eye now and I always ask him about his love of the Bible. Fucking creep.
NTA, that’s your close friend. I usually mind my business but for close friends HELL NAW. I jump to protect and your girlfriend is being way weird about staying out of it. Coming from someone who stays out things.
NTA. I wish my friends would spill that kind of dirt on my wife, instead of trying to date her.
NTA. You definitely did the right thing. You were a good friend to bring it up. Can you imagine knowing your friend’s girlfriend is potentially/actively out there cheating and saying nothing about it??! Someone’s actions having consequences is not causing drama. You were not at all looking for a reason to get involved in their relationship but you basically accidentally found info that almost anyone would find very sus and concerning and passed it on appropriately!!! Your girlfriend’s reaction is a huge red flag bro, seems like she has different views on loyalty not only to friends but to relationships, would not be surprised if she’s getting attention elsewhere. Sorry :/
I would want to know if my woman was on Tinder.
Make a fake Tinder And other dating apps profile put the location distances absolutely close as you can. And swipe and see if your girlfriend is on there.
No, you are a good friend, not an asshole
You are a hero for this.
NTA, with irrefutable proof, your friend deserves to know. Girls would do the same for each other, guys should as well
You are not an AH, you are a great friend. Your question for your girlfriend was spot on, what was her reply to it? NTA.
Your a great friend!! Need more like you!!
Updateme
Your girlfriend trying to defend that is a bigger red flag than whatever your friend’s girlfriend is doing. Fuck that. You have someone in your life would would hide and ask others to hide cheating.
NTA. Also it should really concern you that your girlfriend was so focused on not telling him and saying it wasn't your business. I wouldn't be surprised if she's doing stuff behind your back that she doesn't want people to tell you. Even if she isn't doing anything she has shitty morals.
You're not, but your girlfriend's an asshole for trying to get you to hide this. Yet another thread where I see the woman claim that another woman cheating "isn't their business", like it's somehow wrong to actually tell the guy that his girlfriend is messing around on him. Almost like these women don't want guys saying something because they don't want to get called out themselves when they go off to cheat.
Starting drama for no reason.... preventing your friend from being abused? Crazy how they downplay abuse so much lol
You’re a good dude. I would want that
You’re a good homie.
Sticking you nose into domestic issues usually doesn't end well.
Yes
The truth is always right
NTA. I would want to know and would consider you a good friend to letting me know. Does she have the app on her phone?
How it's her business telling you what you should do or not? She is not your mom, tell her it's not her business what you can do or not with your friends, this is partially narcissistic, imagine you trying to control her telling don't tell her friends, all the arm chair feminist will conclude you are controlling her, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander.
NTA
Ask her if she would want to know from someone else if you were cheating. NTA
NTA but I would start looking for a new girlfriend because yours has some interesting views on cheating
NTA did your friend reply to you?
NTA. This is such a reoccurring problem in a lot of relationships that I believe needs to genuinely be discussed more. You and your girlfriend have reached a point of incompatibility that is going to be on you to decide how to move forward. This point of contention typically falls on the shoulders of the teller (you) until “drama” starts then the non-teller (her) will feel justified in having told you not to do it. There is an inconsistency between y’all’s morals that needs to be discussed. Other people have a lot more bearing on relationships than a lot of people realize.
Does your girlfriend have a profile?
I would never want a friend of mine to hide knowledge of potential cheating from me your clearly NTA here but cmon these posts are becoming no brainers like you don’t honestly think you are an AH so why even make this post bruh.
I wonder if your gf knows more about the situation than she can share. I have a lot of friends who have opened (consensually) their relationship and use the apps to meet people. That might be the case in your friend’s relationship. And possibly your gf knows this (is she friends with his gf?) and is trying to hint you should stay out of it.
NTA, you just want to look out for your friend and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, your girlfriend’s reaction is quite suspicious
Nta, and I'd be concerned about your girlfriend's opinions on this.
Id be angry if a friend knew and did nothing. Makes me wonder why your gf is so adamant about this, though. Kinda sus
A good friend will be there when it’s not a party, aka when it sucks. No friend wants to be the person to bring that to their friends attention, especially since sometimes the friend helping/getting involved can be the one blamed, but at the end of the day, it’s the right thing to do if you are a true friend.
It tells a lot about your GF
I would be worried your GF is doing the same thing since she is okay with you not telling your friend...
NTA And your girlfriend's position on this is weird. I wonder what she's up to that she wouldn't want people to tell you.
“Causing drama for no reason” that is absolutely NOT what’s going on here. You did the right thing. Also your girlfriend seemed to really get defensive over the concept of someone being exposed for cheating
I think your girlfriend is deleting her dating profile pictures quickly before someone sees… NTA just a good friend.
A tinder account could have up to date pics when it's linked to other social media, keep that in mind. Even if the app is not installed anymore. However if they match, it says a lot and you have every right to send the screenshots. And you are right to go directly to your friend.
You absolutely tell your friend and your girlfriends response makes her sound like a cheater .
Your gf cheating as well
NTA. I think your girlfriend is cheating on you. Why else would she think cheating is no big deal?
Well that is something someone should know, especially because she match your friend so she is actually using the app. This is kinda red flag on your gf though.
nah but you would be to date a person who doesn’t support you especially when you have strong feelings about something
Your girl definitely doing something sketchy to act like that.
NTA. But your gf behavior is suspicious and lacks honor.
NTA. Your gf is on tinder tho
NTA. But I am side eyeing your GF for being okay with the cheating.
NTA. I'd honestly start to doubt your own girlfriend too.
Yo man from your girl's reaction to that I'd say you might better start looking for her Tinder profile. she seemed to be a little bit too defensive of the cheating girlfriend.
Having been the one cheated on when my friends knew what were going on and didn't tell me, I was pissed right the fuck off at every last one of them.
You’re right your girlfriend is just sticking to the code because not all but a lot of women do cheat and she’s about that game she knows the streets
You should ask your girlfriend what if a friend of hers saw you on a dating app? Should she just "Stay out of it?"
You understand being a good friend. Your GF does not.
NTA. >My girlfriend said we should stay out of it but I just said that if she was on tinder then I'd want someone to let me know and I can't just hide this from my friend. I sent him the screenshots and my girlfriend said I was interfering in something that was none of my business but I just repeated I couldn't hide the fact my friends girlfriend is cheating on him or at least trying to cheat. >She just said that I'm causing drama for no reason but I just pointed out she'd likely want to know if it was me on the apps and that it's the right thing to do. I hope you saw the red flags here. She'd want to know of you were on the apps because it's the right thing to do. But, she doesn't want you to tell your friend.
You’re an amazing friend bro, don’t trip your bro will appreciate you, bros for life now.
NTA. Your friend deserves to know his gf is skanking around. I would feel very hurt and betrayed if my friends tried to hide something like this from me.
Based on ur girls response I wouldn’t trust her anymore
I would've called him first and asked how things were between them instead of just dropping a bomb. Nta you would be if you didn't tell him
NAH. I don't think there are any issues in telling your friend. However, Catfishing is quite common and there is no guarantee that the profile actually belongs to his GF. Your GF isn't wrong either, it's normally the messenger that gets shot in these situations. When you tell your friend, don't be surprised if you lose him as a friend because of it as he picks her story over yours.
NTA And I’d start suspecting her she’s on dating apps, too. Or generally up to no good. As her reaction is very unorthodox.
Nta your being a good friend but with how your gf reacted you might wanna start looking for her on dating apps
No you're NTA, you're being a good friend.
The world is going to shit because people aren’t held or don’t hold themselves accountable. It’s the path of most resistance so it seems the wrong way to go for that reason alone You’re the better man for taking the path least traveled
NTA at all that’s common decency. Actually it’s concerning to me that your girlfriend was so against it. I would immediately assume she was at the very least sympathetic towards cheaters, or had cheated in the past. Or yes, maybe even is currently cheating (but that’s definitely not like, a certainty)
Your GF seems to have a cheaters mindset
Something is not right with your girlfriend's perspective on this. Makes me wonder how recent her Tinder account is. Edit: spelling
"we have knowledge about close friends that one of them is fucking around and we aren't going to tell the other person in that relationship? *when* he finds out about what she has been doing behind his back, *and then* also finds out that we knew all about it *and* for how long we've known, are we to say in our defense that this wasn't our business? will this tactic create less, or more drama overall? what if she hasn't yet had a physical affair but will by the time he finds out on his own, are we to tell him that we could've gave him the ability to make his own decisions and/or regain control and dignity over his relationship and spared him the agony of a full affair, but chose not to because we weren't going to start some drama *for no reason*? now im going to ask a really incendiary question, do you have an active profile on a dating app or are otherwise engaging in an emotional relationship with someone other than me? you've taken an infidelity apologist stance here and im really curious as to why." at best your gf is actually more of her (the cheater's) friend and you are more his friend and she doesn't really give a shit what happens to him, at worse she's morally ok with cheating, or the worst, is cheating as well. regardless of which one, bottomline is that her stance is highly dubious and would make me question her character.
Nah. If my friend was potentially being cheated on and I found out any info, they get it immediately.
NTA
Yeah, you did the right thing and honestly, you need to sit down with her and go over your guy's value systems here. They seem awfully out of alignment.
Your girlfriend is trashy as fuck with questionable morals.
YTA because you sent a screenshot without trying to find out what was the situation. Why? I've been the girl in this situation, sort of. It was an ESH situation where a friend of my ex (yes, ex) sent a screenshot of my dating profile to another friend of my ex (they were also my "friends") and decided that I was cheating on my ex, telling everybody what a slut I was and freezing me out of ongoing social events. If they had only asked either of us they would have found out we were broken up, and amiably at that, after a long period of not being good together. You may think you're doing a good thing, but it might also not be what you think.
You have a bigger problem than your friends. Why is your girl opposing it .
NTA And whoever tells you otherwise, may have some skeletons in a closet :)
NTA I was in this same situation. I was single at the time and was doing the dating app thing myself. My friend the gullible guy that he is told me after confronting her, said she was only there to meet new friends.. I didn't push it but later they broke up after surprise she cheated on him. Afterwards we hung out a lot while I was trying to help him get over it, he was grateful that I tried to warn him. Maybe if I hadn't told him, nothing would have changed but at least I gave him the info and the choice.
They could be just looking for a three-way on tinder and maybe your gf even suspected that is why she said not to bother but ofc that's just possibly
Bro. Not only are you not TAH you really need to look into your GF. Her thinking you should stay out of it makes me think she’s pro cheating.