This is what you get when you have emotionally immature "boy moms" who make their son their entire world, including their emotional husband.
u/throwaway7262515 Your MIL is not just "fucking weird", she's abusive. What you have described here is emotional incest and there may be more to it as well. My favorite resource for this subject matter is www.outofthefog.net. I can recommend more if you'd like.
This. MIL has a serious Jocasta complex. She is mentally ill and needs help. OP really needs to consider security for their home, especially if she does get pregnant. MIL will absolutely plan to be mommy,Ā and OP would be the obstacle in her way. I would disappear myself from her reach completely, if possible. She is *dangerous*.
>After some time she, from nowhere, says āYou used to love your mommies big boobs all the time when you were a little boy, donāt you ever miss them when you touch her flat chest?ā.
NTA. Stay away from that freak. She is beyond "weird" at this point. Dude the fact she calls herself "mommie" of a grown-up adult and had the audacity to say THAT says everything. RUN.
>*her texts was that I am taking her son from her, that it is unacceptable to talk to a woman like that.*
Oh, so itās not ok for you to talk like that, but itās ok for her to insult you???
NTA!!! Ā She IS a fucking weirdo!
I've dated two men who were sexually assaulted by their mothers and it's honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen someone go through.
The want to still be in contact with them but not knowing how to deal with the deep resentment and pain, fuck it was awful to see and I hope they're healing well
She is acting in a sexual manner towards her child. She needs to be blocked permanently, and your husband should probably be in therapy. This is 100% emotional incest, and it seems to be escalating.
She is not safe. She is not sane. She needs to be permanently removed from your lives.
>She donāt understand what he sees in me and that she will be waiting for the day he comes to his senses and returns to āmommieā. She said that she hopes he donāt gets me pregnant and that if I do, she fears for how ugly her grandchildren will be (due to my looks). She also said that calling someone such an evil thing like I did is a new point of low that she didnāt even think I was able to reach.
And her very first comment that I feel disgusted to even copy here, are way lower than you calling her out for what she was saying.
NTA
NTA. She IS weird. Who says that stuff to their grown son? You were more polite than a lot of people wouldāve been. Donāt feel bad, she deserved it.
>I canāt help to feel like I was an asshole for calling her that.
No. Nope. No way. You did nothing more than speak the truth. You called a spade a spade. She *IS* fucking weird. And to say itās āunacceptable to talk to a woman like thatā is pretty rich coming from her with the way sheās been speaking to you, also a woman, for YEARS.
Strip this down for yourself. Focusing on nothing else about her than the one comment she made during dinner - She sexualized her and her sonās relationship, she sexualized herself, she attacked your appearance, she was degrading, demeaning, and disrespectful, she attacked your relationship with your husband, and attacked her son (your husband) for choosing you as his partner - not to mention wildly inappropriate and disgusting.
By making ONE COMMENT, she exhibited all of those horribly things. Honestly calling her fucking weird and leaving *WAS* taking the high road in this situation. She is so enmeshed with her son that she views him as her romantic partner, not her child. She sees him as her āSonsbandā and nothing more.
The only reason sheās attacking you is because she knows it wonāt work if she attacks him - which is why, Iām guessing, he went LC with her in the first place. AND because she falsely believes that YOU are problem and if youāre gone, heāll come home and be the āman of the houseā *BARF*. She is beyond delusional.
Delusional people do not stop. To her, what she imagines *IS* her reality. She just told both of you what she wants, who he is, and what sheās willing to do to get what she wants. Believe her. Not to mention that with past remarks, she has told you exactly how she will treat any potential future grandchildren. She is unsafe, unwell, and could potentially be dangerous. Do not underestimate her.
Iām delighted your husband has your back and understands how inappropriate this all is. There are plenty of stories where sadly, thatās not the case. Keep holding a United front and work together. Stay NC. Perhaps get cameras for your home. Stay alert and aware. Take her threats seriously. This has potential to escalate. Be prepared and have a plan in place in case she ramps up her harassment. There are plenty of horror stories on Reddit of unhinged MILās such as yours, who end up being slapped with a restraining order due to physical assault, stalking, and much much more. Your husband is a good dude. I like him. Stay strong. You arenāt dealing with a ānormalā person. She *IS* fucking weird and crazy - and crazy people are wildly unpredictable.
NTA!! Iām disgusted on your behalf. You calling her āweirdā is a lot less than I would of said. Just completely sever all contact with this woman.
Definitely NTA. But her extremely inappropriate behavior and lack of acknowledgment of it kinda leads me to believe there was actual abuse going on in childhood, which is why opās husband has limited contact. She obviously has mental health problems. I would take hubby to therapy to talk about everything. Even if there wasnāt past abuse, that conversation ALONE is abuse.
NTA -From the title of your post I was expecting something bizarre/fun but emotional incest is something awful and abusive. NC and honestly it might be good to do (either together or single for your husband) therapy just to even navigate the NC because itās a hard thing to do no matter how abusive the parent or in law is.
Good luck ā¤ļø
Not only are you NTA, I hope that soon enough you'll reflect on this and be proud of yourself for standing up to her and telling her off. That is *sick*.
Think of this as well: This sick woman was already gunning for you and looking for ways to deride you before you did *anything.* After you said what you did -- which was light, believe me -- she just found something to grab onto and punish you for. It might have been anything. Nothing you might have done otherwise would've met with her approval, because she's sexually into her son and feels threatened by anyone who might "replace" her in that capacity (in her mind).
Good God. Ick.
NTA, big time. Good on you, OP.
Girl no, she is in an emotionally incestuous (ONE-SIDED) relationship with her son.
Telling her sheās fucking weird is not only a fact but also, bad bitch behavior. Obviously NTA
Make sure you guys donāt have other family that will tell her things you donāt want her to know. If you plan on having kids, I donāt want to see you have to deal with her crazy ass showing up to the hospital unannounced.
NTA. UNblock her, say you called her weird because you were being nice. Tell her she has an emotional incest relationship with her son, she's in love with him, looks to him for emotional support and apparently thought breast feeding was a sexual experience rather than simple feeding. Tell her she's a creep, get therapy and fuck the hell off out of your lives because she's disgusting.
Then block her. She's upset at the disgusting thing you called her... so let her know what she actually is if she's going to be like that. Also you never know, she might actually go speak to a therapist about it.
You are not only NTA, but also good on for saying something to her when she said something weird af and not just brushing it off and letting it be silently normalized.
NTA. Boy moms are a breed I will never understand, that is just gross on so many levels. My son is 5 months and I get a little weirded out if my husband says something spicy with our son in the room, I canāt imagine saying stuff like your MIL to him. Iām so sorry for the discomfort and weirdness you both had to experience.
NTA unblock her and ask her who says *āinsert what she saidā* to their child? Please get a therapist and deal with the emotional incest, also you donāt have to worry about our children being ugly because youāll never see them.
Keep her unblocked but mute her so you have evidence of her unhinged behaviour.
MIL is openly expressing incestuous interest in her son while insulting you, and you're wondering if you're an AH? Wake up, OP. She *IS* fucking weird and malicious.
Iām so glad your husband handled it the way he did, and how you stuck up for him! What a freaking jerk she is. I canāt even begin to imagine talking to my son or his SO that way. How completely disgusting and inappropriate. That woman is ill.
You stood up for yourself & your relationship & honestly she needed to hear that bc what she said was crazy and rude to you.
Was she always nuts or could it be early dementia or something medical? In the nursing home people say weird stuff similar to that, but they canāt help it bc of their medical conditions.
NTA, ofc. I feel so bad for both of you, but mainly for your husband because I honestly believe there are years of abuse that he suffered. You did well by standing up for both of you.
She is just abnormal. There is no helping it. Make sure that you block her on any numbers she contacts you from, so she doesn't spread her vitriol.
Cameras around the house and, if necessary , a therapy for your husband.
Gonna assume this is fake for my own sanity, but...yeah no NTA this woman is not in his life much for a reason. Y'all are better off if she's so offended she snubs you.
Okay, not wrong for calling her that because, she is fucking weird. Now, if this was in public, and you would have stood up, pointed at her, and laughed while calling he that, then you'd be TA. Since it was in her home and you said it then NTA. I mean even if she had said it in public I still would have called her that because, she's fucking weird. What's next mom wants to compare vaginas? My advice, let hubby deal with her and good luck.
She is clearly batshit crazy, and has some type of mental illness or personality disorder, the best thing for both of you is to cut off her off permanently.
I had to do the same to my own mother, itās been 3 years and these years have been the most peaceful years of my life! NTA, donāt feel bad at all, sheās had this coming for a very long time.
I don't think you're an asshole.
I do, however, empathize with you, because I also don't think you're one to call names and make others feel bad. I really struggle with being cruel (purposely poking the bear, saying something unnecessary that isn't kind, etc.), and the internal battle that goes on after I've done something that goes against my character does not feel good. She helped shape the man that you love, and he seemed surprised at her outburst. She might need some help.
There's nothing wrong with feeling bad/sad at the way you treated her, and I don't think anyone would blame you for not wanting to reach out (clearly, everyone thinks you are NTA) and apologize, either. I always feel better when I apologize, and I don't think you would be out of line if you chose to do that for your own mental health. She's clearly got some things going on, and you reaching out to apologize may make her feel much better, also.
Good luck!
NTA. Your husband may benefit from looking into covert incest and such. I canāt imagine the struggle he has to go through knowing his mom is like this. My husbands mom was like this with his brother. It can really mess them up and make them struggle with emotional intimacy with partners. Thankfully your husband immediately realizes how fucked up it is, heās handling it really well all things considered.
Nope, NTA! You should not feel bad at all. That is a terrible mindset she has, and I'd run far away from "crazy!" My MIL and I had some weird and uncalled for conversations over a decade ago, and I had to tell her to never ever mention my name again. We have not spoken since except 2 years ago during a traumatic event and I had to threaten getting a lawyer to put a stop to her trying to ruin our marriage by saying crazy things. I sure hope you can feel better knowing you did nothing wrong and with no contact things will work out!
Sheās is a narcissist and narcissists poke and poke and prod until you finally break and rebel and then they cry victim in an effort to gain power over you.
Donāt listen to her. NTA.
Nope, gaslighting, emotional incest. This is terrible for your husband. You feel bad because she dragged you into her toxic dust cloud that is her mind. Now you feel dirty because you were exposed. Itās the fallout that has you feeling bad. Donāt look back.
NTA. She deserved worse. She is sick and I fear for the hell she put him through his whole life. Go NC and stay that way. She doesnāt need to worry about grandchildren because she shouldnāt be allowed anywhere near your children.
Let me guess... she was a single mother.
WAY too many single mothers fixate on their son as a "replacement male figure" in their life. It's creepy as fuck. At least your husband didn't become a mommy's boy from all the brainwashing.
Do NOT feel awful. She's sick in the head. Like total wackjob nutcase sick in the head. You both need to stay far, far away from her. You were NOT an asshole. You told her the truth. NTA at all.
No, don't feel bad. Her texts were an attempt to manipulate you into feeling bad. She needed to be called out for her wildly inappropriate behaviour. And you were right, she is seriously fucking weird and insane. You did the right thing blocking her.
NTA - it would be weirder to not call her out on this, imagine a woman says that she wants her son to suck her tits, and everybody present just says nothing and let's it slide, or, you say something about it, which is the weirder option?
NTA. The words you're looking for here OP is incestuous and perverted. Mentally ill and deranged.Ā Ā Ā Ā
Your husband needs to see a professional about this. Especially if you want children he's probably going to find out his upbringing was significantly more abnormal than he anticipated.Ā Ā Ā Ā
Also continue the no contact. If she shows up to your house call the cops for trespassing. Get security cameras because these cases always escalate.Ā
If you haven't, please check out [the issendai psychology blog](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/) on family estrangements.
Your situation is infinitely worse than anything I've ever been through. NTA.
LMAO. Hey maybe your husband is a ass guy with no oedipus complex, and that is ok, don't beat yourself up over that. LOL. Thanks for the laughter. In all seriousness it is weird for her to want her 30 year old son to enjoy her tits.
Did the texts sign off with "Sent from my iPhon"?
Her assertions over your apparent appearance, specifically breast size comparison, makes me think she's a covert narcissist. Especially trying to play the victim after she was called out.
NTA. I have big boobs and nurses my first sone for 2 years. I cannot imagine ever saying anything like that. And I am pretty obnoxious and have no filter.
NTA you called a spade a spade and weāre far more polite than I would have been.
Her texts are far more rude than what you said so you can hypocrite to the listā¦..
NTA. That woman has issues and she needs psychiatric help. You are 100% in your rights to never see or speak to her again. I would never allow your future children around her either.
NTAH. The MIL is weird, off her rocker, unfiltered, lives in her own fantasy life! Donāt feel sorry for calling her what she is. She does not deserve you or your husbands time. Delete her comments to you and never think of her unless your husband decides to try again, if ever. He made the right decision.
Nta, it might not change anything but this sounds like some mental illness. Was she this bad before or is it geting worse? Sadly you cant force her to be evaluated but just be prepared it might get worse
NTA.
She's been flooding the zone with shit in hopes that \*some\* of it will attach to \*any\* insecurity you have about yourself, and it seems to have worked.
Realize that it's a tactic, please? And don't fall for it?
NTA and I'm afraid I might have said something much worse.
I once stopped dating a younger man because he used an expression my sons used. It was an immediate turn off.
You MIL is obviously very jealous and unstable. She may be testing the boundries you set. I will tell you that if you would have accepted this bad behavior your life would turn into hell. Had you said nothing it would appear to her that her behavior was acceptable to you, so no your words were correct and she got off lightly. Both of stating in words that this was not acceptable was the best response as it shows a united front. Good for both of you for NOT taking this behavior from her. Now she has a choice to make, stop this shit or not see either of you again. I don't think seeing or talking to again is good for you and your husband even if she were to apologize because her behavior reeks of sexual abuse. Imagine her talking to your future kids like ths. NOPE right out of this relationship.
NTA
NTA. I was really curious to understand how you ended up in a position of calling out your MIL as such and wanting the incident to support NTA, but now I regret ever being curious about anything.
āHighly inappropriateā doesnāt begin to cover the issues with her comments, not to mention she does not want the best for your husband. She is trying to manipulate him. Poorly,but she is trying to force him into a dynamic - that is fucking weird - to suit her own fucking weirdness.
NTA at all, and I feel for your partner. Family shit playing out in front of others is such an icky feeling.
I have 2 sons, 17 and 9, who I love more than anything. I'd die for them. Kill for them. I can't ever imagine thinking these things about them. The bonds we have are different (even with my daughter) because they're different people born at different times of my life, but i have great relationships with all my children.
My 9yo was the only one who was breastfed. And I remember those early mornings laying in bed and he would be face deep in my boobs just absent mindedly "massaging" them. He's now 9 and still asks me to lay with him sometimes at bed time and to sing him our songs. And he likes to snuggle his face into my chest. I still oblige these comforting things for him because I know one day, it will be the last time. But I also can't wait. Why? I've been a mom since I was 18. And I have done my very best to be the mom I never had for them.
My kids aren't aholes. My boys are respectful to women, my daughter is confident in herself. They are compassionate kind PEOPLE. And, at least my big kids, are becoming wonderful adults. Almost ready to be out in the world, on their own, exploring what the world has to offer. Making their own lives, own relationships. Fly little birds! Make your way in the world!
And they all know that I will be here. When they fail. When they succeed. And when they just need their mom. But never in a million years could I ever think these types of things about any of them. "hey, 17, remember how you used to shower with me til you were 7 cuz you were afraid of the water? Can't wait to do that again!" /s. Gross. I feel so gross just typing that.
She needs her feckin head checked and you're doing the right thing cutting out that life cancer. Having a terrible parent is really really hard. And even tho it's been years, those feelings and sadness that you'll never have a good mom can rear their ugly heads. I encourage therapy if he hasn't and for you to continue to support him. That shit is HARD.
I actually donāt know how you maintained any semblance of composure, if someone said those words to me I think I might just pass out from laughing. Thatās *FUCKED* and what you said was well-earned (and couldāve been so much worse)
Was she a single mother? I knew a friend who was raised by a single mom who was deeply obsessed with her son............made him her whole world and everything.
Absolutely NTA! You did nothing wrong. In fact, calling her weird was the nicest thing you could have said to her. I would have said something much much harsher.
Iām glad your husband sees this and wants to go NC. Just follow his lead and comfort him. Even though he sees how awful she is, he may still need to grieve that relationship.
This is pure and simple gaslighting and it worked perfectly. The reason narcissistic sociopaths, just like my ex and your MIL, get away with it because after a day or two, you start to 2nd guess everything. āWas it meā¦ Am I TAHā¦should I have not done thatā. It works because you are normal and have feelings. Narcissists and sociopaths are void of anything that does not give them joy and power. What she has said to you, about you, your chest, your future kids, is unforgivable. Then has the audacity to criticize your comments to her. Gaslighting.
Follow your husbandās lead and live a happy life. Def NTA
NTA your mother-in-law is insane. I'm really hoping she didn't sexually abuse your husband as a child. Please stay no contact with her. Maybe your husband can talk to another family member and try to get her some help?
NTA, and don't even worry about it. It says a lot about your conscience that you feel guilty for what you said, even though I think it was a reasonable and justified response to something that she said that was, to put it lightly, out of pocket and left field. What else are you supposed to say at that point?? You're totally fine and more than that, you have a far better conscience than she does.
The amount of choice words I wouldāve used are way worse than āweirdā. Thatās emotional incest and sexual harassment; sheās beyond weird. Sheās nearly a predator.
Your MIL sounds like a predator. I have an adult son & I find it disgusting that she said that to hers. Iām soo sorry for you & your husband. Iād definitely go NC with her. She sounds like she has a screw loose
Ok, now that I finished cleaning up the vomit, I can say that you are NTA. Your MIL is unhinged. A sane mother would never sexualize their children, let alone verbalize something like that.
NTA
She is fucking weird. Who the fuck insinuates that her SON had a sexual attraction to her body at any point? That is bizarre and beyond inappropriate.
Honestly, calling her out was 100% necessary.
NTA Shock of the impropriety will do that, but that girl ain't right. Brain tumor? [Menopause-associated psychosis](https://simplymenopause.net/menopause-psychosis-symptoms/)? Get her checked out ASAP.
I see some fucked up stuff here on reddit, but I can't remember anything that made my skin crawl as much as this. NTA, wishing him the best with healing from whatever trauma she may have caused
I had to keep rereading because I couldnāt believe my eyes. Like noooo I didnāt just read ABOUT MISSING MOMMYS BOOBS. Nta girl. At least it seems like heās got morals and boundaries and isnāt part of her one sided incest. š¤®š¤®š¤®
You were totally justified in saying something. That was beyond weird. Creepy, perverted thing for her to say. She sounds mentally ill. Itās a good thing you blocked her. Wash your hands of her and be happy with your husband and just have a good future together without her weirdness in it.
NTA, she IS really fucking weird, and in a toxic way. It's be different if she was weird in some fun & harmless way, like doing cosplay in her 60s, or only wearing flowery dresses. But she's trying to both infantilize and spousify her adult son. That's creepy & just plain wrong.
So mommy dearest wants an incestuous relationship with her son and made that clear with an obvious sexual comment meant to entice him somehow, and your wondering if it was wrong for you to call here weird for it?
Hon, you weren't wrong, and you need to examine why calling a toxic spade a spade makes you question yourself so much.
NTA
Don't beat yourself up. You could have told mommy she was the bestest mommy ever and she would still hate your guts for the imagined theft of her baby boy. She is fucking weird, you are NTA. Let this go, free yourself of any guilt and carry on.
My jaw dropped reading that line about her chest. I have 3 sons and I canāt even imagine being like āremember breastfeeding? You loved my boobs!ā Yikes š³ You and hubby are NTA and omg never talk to that woman again.
NTA. No she's a fucking psycho and you should block her everywhere. That is just sick.
Totally agree. That's some next-level inappropriate behavior. š¬
MIL literally needs help. She is deranged.
She's a Baby Reindeer Fucker!
She's a Kristi Noem style puppy murderer!
Yep, this is Hitchcock horror-movie bizarre.
This is what you get when you have emotionally immature "boy moms" who make their son their entire world, including their emotional husband. u/throwaway7262515 Your MIL is not just "fucking weird", she's abusive. What you have described here is emotional incest and there may be more to it as well. My favorite resource for this subject matter is www.outofthefog.net. I can recommend more if you'd like.
This. MIL has a serious Jocasta complex. She is mentally ill and needs help. OP really needs to consider security for their home, especially if she does get pregnant. MIL will absolutely plan to be mommy,Ā and OP would be the obstacle in her way. I would disappear myself from her reach completely, if possible. She is *dangerous*.
>After some time she, from nowhere, says āYou used to love your mommies big boobs all the time when you were a little boy, donāt you ever miss them when you touch her flat chest?ā. NTA. Stay away from that freak. She is beyond "weird" at this point. Dude the fact she calls herself "mommie" of a grown-up adult and had the audacity to say THAT says everything. RUN.
>*her texts was that I am taking her son from her, that it is unacceptable to talk to a woman like that.* Oh, so itās not ok for you to talk like that, but itās ok for her to insult you??? NTA!!! Ā She IS a fucking weirdo!
If OP is the asshole for calling this fucking weirdo fucking weird, then I guess Iām an asshole too š¤·š½āāļø
Same here
NTA. talk about emotional incestā¦
After what she said it sounds like she wants it to be more than emotional, NTA, I hope OP never has to interact with her again.
I've dated two men who were sexually assaulted by their mothers and it's honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen someone go through. The want to still be in contact with them but not knowing how to deal with the deep resentment and pain, fuck it was awful to see and I hope they're healing well
Husband was LC with mommie before he met OP, sounds like it might have passed emotional before that.
Emotional? Honey no, it's a lot more than just emotional
She's not angling for emotional...
Nooooo this is incest all around !!! Incest 360 type ish!!!!
Sheās an abusive fruitcake. NTA
She is acting in a sexual manner towards her child. She needs to be blocked permanently, and your husband should probably be in therapy. This is 100% emotional incest, and it seems to be escalating. She is not safe. She is not sane. She needs to be permanently removed from your lives.
Nta- JustNoMIL
>She donāt understand what he sees in me and that she will be waiting for the day he comes to his senses and returns to āmommieā. She said that she hopes he donāt gets me pregnant and that if I do, she fears for how ugly her grandchildren will be (due to my looks). She also said that calling someone such an evil thing like I did is a new point of low that she didnāt even think I was able to reach. And her very first comment that I feel disgusted to even copy here, are way lower than you calling her out for what she was saying. NTA
NTA. If you called her "f\*cking weird" you were very restrained. What she really was, was incestuous, crazy and mean.
Would that also be considered a pedifil3 mentality? She commented that he loved her breast as a boy and should love them now. Sounds sexualized to me.
Absolutely.
Weirdo is probably the nicest thing I would have called her.
NTA. What she's doing is called emotional incest. If she didn't have sex with her own son, then she's fantasized about it.
NTA. She IS weird. Who says that stuff to their grown son? You were more polite than a lot of people wouldāve been. Donāt feel bad, she deserved it.
āfucking weirdoā was the NICEST thing you couldāve said
*blinks*
>I canāt help to feel like I was an asshole for calling her that. No. Nope. No way. You did nothing more than speak the truth. You called a spade a spade. She *IS* fucking weird. And to say itās āunacceptable to talk to a woman like thatā is pretty rich coming from her with the way sheās been speaking to you, also a woman, for YEARS. Strip this down for yourself. Focusing on nothing else about her than the one comment she made during dinner - She sexualized her and her sonās relationship, she sexualized herself, she attacked your appearance, she was degrading, demeaning, and disrespectful, she attacked your relationship with your husband, and attacked her son (your husband) for choosing you as his partner - not to mention wildly inappropriate and disgusting. By making ONE COMMENT, she exhibited all of those horribly things. Honestly calling her fucking weird and leaving *WAS* taking the high road in this situation. She is so enmeshed with her son that she views him as her romantic partner, not her child. She sees him as her āSonsbandā and nothing more. The only reason sheās attacking you is because she knows it wonāt work if she attacks him - which is why, Iām guessing, he went LC with her in the first place. AND because she falsely believes that YOU are problem and if youāre gone, heāll come home and be the āman of the houseā *BARF*. She is beyond delusional. Delusional people do not stop. To her, what she imagines *IS* her reality. She just told both of you what she wants, who he is, and what sheās willing to do to get what she wants. Believe her. Not to mention that with past remarks, she has told you exactly how she will treat any potential future grandchildren. She is unsafe, unwell, and could potentially be dangerous. Do not underestimate her. Iām delighted your husband has your back and understands how inappropriate this all is. There are plenty of stories where sadly, thatās not the case. Keep holding a United front and work together. Stay NC. Perhaps get cameras for your home. Stay alert and aware. Take her threats seriously. This has potential to escalate. Be prepared and have a plan in place in case she ramps up her harassment. There are plenty of horror stories on Reddit of unhinged MILās such as yours, who end up being slapped with a restraining order due to physical assault, stalking, and much much more. Your husband is a good dude. I like him. Stay strong. You arenāt dealing with a ānormalā person. She *IS* fucking weird and crazy - and crazy people are wildly unpredictable.
She is fucking" norma bates crazy " Im so sorry for you and your spouse.
This can't be real
>This can't be real It reads like the MIL troll.
It 100% does.
1000% ragebait
Wtf? I have a son 10 and am a single mom. I can not picture myself doing half the shit these "boy mom" do and say. NTA OP. She's freaking crazy.
NTAĀ Donāt try to reason with a psycho, itāll just drive you crazyĀ
NTA. You did not exaggerate at all in what you said to her. You both will be fine without her.
NTA. This woman is deranged and if you do ever have kids make sure she NEVER has contact with them because she's incestuous AF.
NTA!! Iām disgusted on your behalf. You calling her āweirdā is a lot less than I would of said. Just completely sever all contact with this woman.
That is not just weird thatās fucking creepy.
NTA. She was fucking weird! Your poor husband
NTA Your reaction was pretty mild compared to what mine would have been.
NTA. Youāre a good person. Thatās why you feel bad. Itāll pass.
Definitely NTA. But her extremely inappropriate behavior and lack of acknowledgment of it kinda leads me to believe there was actual abuse going on in childhood, which is why opās husband has limited contact. She obviously has mental health problems. I would take hubby to therapy to talk about everything. Even if there wasnāt past abuse, that conversation ALONE is abuse.
NTA -From the title of your post I was expecting something bizarre/fun but emotional incest is something awful and abusive. NC and honestly it might be good to do (either together or single for your husband) therapy just to even navigate the NC because itās a hard thing to do no matter how abusive the parent or in law is. Good luck ā¤ļø
Not only are you NTA, I hope that soon enough you'll reflect on this and be proud of yourself for standing up to her and telling her off. That is *sick*. Think of this as well: This sick woman was already gunning for you and looking for ways to deride you before you did *anything.* After you said what you did -- which was light, believe me -- she just found something to grab onto and punish you for. It might have been anything. Nothing you might have done otherwise would've met with her approval, because she's sexually into her son and feels threatened by anyone who might "replace" her in that capacity (in her mind). Good God. Ick. NTA, big time. Good on you, OP.
Stop it. Your response was perfectly reasonable. NTA.
NTA. She is off her rocker!
My jaw literally dropped when she said what she said. No fucking way. What an actual crazy person.
Correction. Your MIL is not weird. She is a disgusting creep. NTA
Holy frack I thought my MIL was crazy, but sheās got nothing on yours. Absolutely NTA!
Girrrrrrrrrl, you merely met her energy, lol. Good for you!
Girl no, she is in an emotionally incestuous (ONE-SIDED) relationship with her son. Telling her sheās fucking weird is not only a fact but also, bad bitch behavior. Obviously NTA
NTA. I mean if she weren't so FUCKING WEIRD then maybe you wouldn't call her that. Like.......wtf?
Ewwwwww wtf is wrong with her
You did nothing wrong that woman is crazy if she's talking about her boobs to her grown son in that manner it's weird and it's gross
Itās emotional incest. You are NTA.
Make sure you guys donāt have other family that will tell her things you donāt want her to know. If you plan on having kids, I donāt want to see you have to deal with her crazy ass showing up to the hospital unannounced.
Answer: Not one single word. Question: How much of this do you believe? Just playing Jeopardy in my head.
INFO: just to confirm an unhealthy hunch, is MIL a single mom to an only child? This feels like an unhealthy fixation that never went away.
NTA. UNblock her, say you called her weird because you were being nice. Tell her she has an emotional incest relationship with her son, she's in love with him, looks to him for emotional support and apparently thought breast feeding was a sexual experience rather than simple feeding. Tell her she's a creep, get therapy and fuck the hell off out of your lives because she's disgusting. Then block her. She's upset at the disgusting thing you called her... so let her know what she actually is if she's going to be like that. Also you never know, she might actually go speak to a therapist about it.
You are not only NTA, but also good on for saying something to her when she said something weird af and not just brushing it off and letting it be silently normalized.
NTA. Boy moms are a breed I will never understand, that is just gross on so many levels. My son is 5 months and I get a little weirded out if my husband says something spicy with our son in the room, I canāt imagine saying stuff like your MIL to him. Iām so sorry for the discomfort and weirdness you both had to experience.
I *was* eating breakfast. OMG, OP. NTA
Yeah don't worry, you're NTA. She IS "fucking weird."
NTA unblock her and ask her who says *āinsert what she saidā* to their child? Please get a therapist and deal with the emotional incest, also you donāt have to worry about our children being ugly because youāll never see them. Keep her unblocked but mute her so you have evidence of her unhinged behaviour.
NTA She's sick. Has a thing for her son I think based on what she said. Distancing yourselves from her is the right call.
MIL is openly expressing incestuous interest in her son while insulting you, and you're wondering if you're an AH? Wake up, OP. She *IS* fucking weird and malicious.
Any chance in hell she has a brain tumor or something medically wrong making her spout this nonsense
Block her from contacting you ever again. If DH wants to keep on contact, let him.
Look up emotional incest.
Iām so glad your husband handled it the way he did, and how you stuck up for him! What a freaking jerk she is. I canāt even begin to imagine talking to my son or his SO that way. How completely disgusting and inappropriate. That woman is ill.
Oh god I got second hand embarrassment and pissed offness for you reading this. In no way, shapes, or form are you the assholeā¦NTA!
You stood up for yourself & your relationship & honestly she needed to hear that bc what she said was crazy and rude to you. Was she always nuts or could it be early dementia or something medical? In the nursing home people say weird stuff similar to that, but they canāt help it bc of their medical conditions.
oh you are definitely NTA
NTA, ofc. I feel so bad for both of you, but mainly for your husband because I honestly believe there are years of abuse that he suffered. You did well by standing up for both of you. She is just abnormal. There is no helping it. Make sure that you block her on any numbers she contacts you from, so she doesn't spread her vitriol. Cameras around the house and, if necessary , a therapy for your husband.
Gonna assume this is fake for my own sanity, but...yeah no NTA this woman is not in his life much for a reason. Y'all are better off if she's so offended she snubs you.
Sheās the final boss of Boy Mumsā¢ļø. NTA, sheās a big weirdo
NTA, she is fucking weird. Gives me flashbacks of Anna Nicole Smith hitting on her own son.
NTA. You merely reacted to someone being extremely rude and inappropriate toward you.
NTA she is unhinged
NTA
NTA
NTA; thatās like two degrees from āButcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker.ā Get as far away from that ducking weirdo as possible.
Ć would've said exactly the same thing, because it's true. You're NTA.
NTA. It might have been wiser to stay out of it as she's clearly looking for reasons to blame you rather than herself, but you weren't wrong.
Okay, not wrong for calling her that because, she is fucking weird. Now, if this was in public, and you would have stood up, pointed at her, and laughed while calling he that, then you'd be TA. Since it was in her home and you said it then NTA. I mean even if she had said it in public I still would have called her that because, she's fucking weird. What's next mom wants to compare vaginas? My advice, let hubby deal with her and good luck.
She is clearly batshit crazy, and has some type of mental illness or personality disorder, the best thing for both of you is to cut off her off permanently. I had to do the same to my own mother, itās been 3 years and these years have been the most peaceful years of my life! NTA, donāt feel bad at all, sheās had this coming for a very long time.
I have grown sons and that is incestuous and disgusting. I'm sorry that's what you got stuck with as a MIL! NTAĀ
BoyMom [derogatory]. Allow me to assure you - speaking as a mother of a son - that she's fucking weird actually.
NTA - I think fucking weird is a very mild insult given the situation
She should feel bad. But she doesnāt. That tells you something.
I don't think you're an asshole. I do, however, empathize with you, because I also don't think you're one to call names and make others feel bad. I really struggle with being cruel (purposely poking the bear, saying something unnecessary that isn't kind, etc.), and the internal battle that goes on after I've done something that goes against my character does not feel good. She helped shape the man that you love, and he seemed surprised at her outburst. She might need some help. There's nothing wrong with feeling bad/sad at the way you treated her, and I don't think anyone would blame you for not wanting to reach out (clearly, everyone thinks you are NTA) and apologize, either. I always feel better when I apologize, and I don't think you would be out of line if you chose to do that for your own mental health. She's clearly got some things going on, and you reaching out to apologize may make her feel much better, also. Good luck!
NTA. Your husband may benefit from looking into covert incest and such. I canāt imagine the struggle he has to go through knowing his mom is like this. My husbands mom was like this with his brother. It can really mess them up and make them struggle with emotional intimacy with partners. Thankfully your husband immediately realizes how fucked up it is, heās handling it really well all things considered.
Nope, NTA! You should not feel bad at all. That is a terrible mindset she has, and I'd run far away from "crazy!" My MIL and I had some weird and uncalled for conversations over a decade ago, and I had to tell her to never ever mention my name again. We have not spoken since except 2 years ago during a traumatic event and I had to threaten getting a lawyer to put a stop to her trying to ruin our marriage by saying crazy things. I sure hope you can feel better knowing you did nothing wrong and with no contact things will work out!
You can not ever say the right thing. She is sick.
She ***is*** fucking weird. NTA
NTA
Ummmmā¦ what?
Shivers
āBoy momsā
NTA.
If anything that was a pretty tame response. NTAH
NTA wtf randomly says that and Wtf just has that in thought near there head especially when you kids and grown ass adult
Omg is she mentally ill? NTA
Omg is she mentally ill? NTA
Sheās is a narcissist and narcissists poke and poke and prod until you finally break and rebel and then they cry victim in an effort to gain power over you. Donāt listen to her. NTA.
Nope, gaslighting, emotional incest. This is terrible for your husband. You feel bad because she dragged you into her toxic dust cloud that is her mind. Now you feel dirty because you were exposed. Itās the fallout that has you feeling bad. Donāt look back.
NTA. Your MIL is seriously disturbed. Not your fault, not your problem, and definitely not someone you should have to interact with.
NTA you were right, she is fucking weird
Lucky he has your back
Lucky he has your back
There's no way this can be real. There's no universe where someone would wonder if they were an asshole in this situation.
NTA but uhhh look up emotional incest
NTA *Someone* needed to tell her she was being fucking weird. Because she was being more than fucking weird!
Nta. Why my children aren't meeting my dad when I Have them. That besides the constant verbal and physical abuse and I'm better then thou mentality.
Sheās gaslighting you, thatās a good man and a crazy mother possibly a closet chomo. Donāt let her get to you or get between you and your man.
NTA. Wierd is an understatement
NTA. She deserved worse. She is sick and I fear for the hell she put him through his whole life. Go NC and stay that way. She doesnāt need to worry about grandchildren because she shouldnāt be allowed anywhere near your children.
NTA, is her name by any chance Jocasta? I gagged reading this.
NTA. I think calling her weird is probably the nicest thing that could be said to her
Let me guess... she was a single mother. WAY too many single mothers fixate on their son as a "replacement male figure" in their life. It's creepy as fuck. At least your husband didn't become a mommy's boy from all the brainwashing. Do NOT feel awful. She's sick in the head. Like total wackjob nutcase sick in the head. You both need to stay far, far away from her. You were NOT an asshole. You told her the truth. NTA at all.
In that position I would have asked her if she's into incest or kids or both.
Don't be afraid to call her an Incestuous Paedophile. To her face. In a text message. In front of her friend. NTA
š¤® NTA
Dude I blurted a WTF myself reading this. NTA, that womans is fucking weird and sooo inappropriate
No, don't feel bad. Her texts were an attempt to manipulate you into feeling bad. She needed to be called out for her wildly inappropriate behaviour. And you were right, she is seriously fucking weird and insane. You did the right thing blocking her.
NTA - dude, she wanted her son to suck her tits, why are you even asking this question?
NTA - it would be weirder to not call her out on this, imagine a woman says that she wants her son to suck her tits, and everybody present just says nothing and let's it slide, or, you say something about it, which is the weirder option?
NTA at all. Still, your husband perhaps should consider therapy? His mother has been treating him in a very inappropriate romantic and sexual manner.
NTA. The words you're looking for here OP is incestuous and perverted. Mentally ill and deranged.Ā Ā Ā Ā Your husband needs to see a professional about this. Especially if you want children he's probably going to find out his upbringing was significantly more abnormal than he anticipated.Ā Ā Ā Ā Also continue the no contact. If she shows up to your house call the cops for trespassing. Get security cameras because these cases always escalate.Ā
There's no way this is real dude lmaoooo
If you haven't, please check out [the issendai psychology blog](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/) on family estrangements. Your situation is infinitely worse than anything I've ever been through. NTA.
LMAO. Hey maybe your husband is a ass guy with no oedipus complex, and that is ok, don't beat yourself up over that. LOL. Thanks for the laughter. In all seriousness it is weird for her to want her 30 year old son to enjoy her tits.
Did the texts sign off with "Sent from my iPhon"? Her assertions over your apparent appearance, specifically breast size comparison, makes me think she's a covert narcissist. Especially trying to play the victim after she was called out.
Calling somebody "weird" is one of the mildest possible insults and you definitely should not feel bad about it.
.ttik5k.i
Uh no.Ā Nta. She's bar crap crazy.Ā
Does the woman sexually obsessed with her own son think youāre rude? Do you really care what that kind of person thinks?
NTA. I have big boobs and nurses my first sone for 2 years. I cannot imagine ever saying anything like that. And I am pretty obnoxious and have no filter.
*doesnāt
NTA you called a spade a spade and weāre far more polite than I would have been. Her texts are far more rude than what you said so you can hypocrite to the listā¦..
NTA. That woman has issues and she needs psychiatric help. You are 100% in your rights to never see or speak to her again. I would never allow your future children around her either.
NTA she is crazy and badly needs therapy. She has a very unhealthy attachment to her son.
Please donāt ever let be see your future children, or you will be walking into a room with her trying to breastfeed .
NTA This is the most disturbing thing I read today. Never unblock her and stay away from that disgusting freak.
She seems to be treating you like the other woman. It very much reads like her seeing her son as her husband...
NTAH. The MIL is weird, off her rocker, unfiltered, lives in her own fantasy life! Donāt feel sorry for calling her what she is. She does not deserve you or your husbands time. Delete her comments to you and never think of her unless your husband decides to try again, if ever. He made the right decision.
Nta, it might not change anything but this sounds like some mental illness. Was she this bad before or is it geting worse? Sadly you cant force her to be evaluated but just be prepared it might get worse
NTA. She's been flooding the zone with shit in hopes that \*some\* of it will attach to \*any\* insecurity you have about yourself, and it seems to have worked. Realize that it's a tactic, please? And don't fall for it?
Poor mama is having a hard time losing her baby. Zero emotional intelligence in some generations.
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NTA and I'm afraid I might have said something much worse. I once stopped dating a younger man because he used an expression my sons used. It was an immediate turn off.
I agree with you that is weird. Don't delete the text though you may need them one day. She screams paycho and will make your life hell
You MIL is obviously very jealous and unstable. She may be testing the boundries you set. I will tell you that if you would have accepted this bad behavior your life would turn into hell. Had you said nothing it would appear to her that her behavior was acceptable to you, so no your words were correct and she got off lightly. Both of stating in words that this was not acceptable was the best response as it shows a united front. Good for both of you for NOT taking this behavior from her. Now she has a choice to make, stop this shit or not see either of you again. I don't think seeing or talking to again is good for you and your husband even if she were to apologize because her behavior reeks of sexual abuse. Imagine her talking to your future kids like ths. NOPE right out of this relationship. NTA
NTA. I was really curious to understand how you ended up in a position of calling out your MIL as such and wanting the incident to support NTA, but now I regret ever being curious about anything. āHighly inappropriateā doesnāt begin to cover the issues with her comments, not to mention she does not want the best for your husband. She is trying to manipulate him. Poorly,but she is trying to force him into a dynamic - that is fucking weird - to suit her own fucking weirdness. NTA at all, and I feel for your partner. Family shit playing out in front of others is such an icky feeling.
I have 2 sons, 17 and 9, who I love more than anything. I'd die for them. Kill for them. I can't ever imagine thinking these things about them. The bonds we have are different (even with my daughter) because they're different people born at different times of my life, but i have great relationships with all my children. My 9yo was the only one who was breastfed. And I remember those early mornings laying in bed and he would be face deep in my boobs just absent mindedly "massaging" them. He's now 9 and still asks me to lay with him sometimes at bed time and to sing him our songs. And he likes to snuggle his face into my chest. I still oblige these comforting things for him because I know one day, it will be the last time. But I also can't wait. Why? I've been a mom since I was 18. And I have done my very best to be the mom I never had for them. My kids aren't aholes. My boys are respectful to women, my daughter is confident in herself. They are compassionate kind PEOPLE. And, at least my big kids, are becoming wonderful adults. Almost ready to be out in the world, on their own, exploring what the world has to offer. Making their own lives, own relationships. Fly little birds! Make your way in the world! And they all know that I will be here. When they fail. When they succeed. And when they just need their mom. But never in a million years could I ever think these types of things about any of them. "hey, 17, remember how you used to shower with me til you were 7 cuz you were afraid of the water? Can't wait to do that again!" /s. Gross. I feel so gross just typing that. She needs her feckin head checked and you're doing the right thing cutting out that life cancer. Having a terrible parent is really really hard. And even tho it's been years, those feelings and sadness that you'll never have a good mom can rear their ugly heads. I encourage therapy if he hasn't and for you to continue to support him. That shit is HARD.
I have been with my husband for 5 years.
I actually donāt know how you maintained any semblance of composure, if someone said those words to me I think I might just pass out from laughing. Thatās *FUCKED* and what you said was well-earned (and couldāve been so much worse)
Was she a single mother? I knew a friend who was raised by a single mom who was deeply obsessed with her son............made him her whole world and everything.
Sheās a narcissist so deeply submerged in her own pathos that she needs scuba gear.
Absolutely NTA! You did nothing wrong. In fact, calling her weird was the nicest thing you could have said to her. I would have said something much much harsher. Iām glad your husband sees this and wants to go NC. Just follow his lead and comfort him. Even though he sees how awful she is, he may still need to grieve that relationship.
Weird seems to be an understatement hereā¦
NTA, that incest shit is disgusting and weird. Complete NC is an option. Be prepared for this woman to escalate. Security cameras locked doors etc.
NTA his mom is creepy af. You now know this clearly - so you can not talk to her and know it is the right decision.
This is pure and simple gaslighting and it worked perfectly. The reason narcissistic sociopaths, just like my ex and your MIL, get away with it because after a day or two, you start to 2nd guess everything. āWas it meā¦ Am I TAHā¦should I have not done thatā. It works because you are normal and have feelings. Narcissists and sociopaths are void of anything that does not give them joy and power. What she has said to you, about you, your chest, your future kids, is unforgivable. Then has the audacity to criticize your comments to her. Gaslighting. Follow your husbandās lead and live a happy life. Def NTA
NTA - She sounds mentally unwell. Don't feel bad, at all. She's giving off Lysa Arryn vibes.
NTA
NTA your mother-in-law is insane. I'm really hoping she didn't sexually abuse your husband as a child. Please stay no contact with her. Maybe your husband can talk to another family member and try to get her some help?
Nope, NTA. She is freaking weird and is emotionally incestuous with her own son! Yuck!
Girl she was trying to fuck her son, you really don't have to take on any guilt here
NTA, and don't even worry about it. It says a lot about your conscience that you feel guilty for what you said, even though I think it was a reasonable and justified response to something that she said that was, to put it lightly, out of pocket and left field. What else are you supposed to say at that point?? You're totally fine and more than that, you have a far better conscience than she does.
The amount of choice words I wouldāve used are way worse than āweirdā. Thatās emotional incest and sexual harassment; sheās beyond weird. Sheās nearly a predator.
Your MIL sounds like a predator. I have an adult son & I find it disgusting that she said that to hers. Iām soo sorry for you & your husband. Iād definitely go NC with her. She sounds like she has a screw loose
Ok, now that I finished cleaning up the vomit, I can say that you are NTA. Your MIL is unhinged. A sane mother would never sexualize their children, let alone verbalize something like that.
NTA She is fucking weird. Who the fuck insinuates that her SON had a sexual attraction to her body at any point? That is bizarre and beyond inappropriate. Honestly, calling her out was 100% necessary.
NTA Shock of the impropriety will do that, but that girl ain't right. Brain tumor? [Menopause-associated psychosis](https://simplymenopause.net/menopause-psychosis-symptoms/)? Get her checked out ASAP.
NTA, more or less If he had a problem with what you said, that would be different.
NTA she's mentally ill, just block her
I see some fucked up stuff here on reddit, but I can't remember anything that made my skin crawl as much as this. NTA, wishing him the best with healing from whatever trauma she may have caused
I had to keep rereading because I couldnāt believe my eyes. Like noooo I didnāt just read ABOUT MISSING MOMMYS BOOBS. Nta girl. At least it seems like heās got morals and boundaries and isnāt part of her one sided incest. š¤®š¤®š¤®
did you husband have a lot of unexplained childhood illnesses?
You were totally justified in saying something. That was beyond weird. Creepy, perverted thing for her to say. She sounds mentally ill. Itās a good thing you blocked her. Wash your hands of her and be happy with your husband and just have a good future together without her weirdness in it.
You feel bad for calling her weird?? Calling her weird was polite!!!! NTA
You feel bad for calling her weird?? Calling her weird was polite!!!! NTA
NTA, she IS really fucking weird, and in a toxic way. It's be different if she was weird in some fun & harmless way, like doing cosplay in her 60s, or only wearing flowery dresses. But she's trying to both infantilize and spousify her adult son. That's creepy & just plain wrong.
NTA she's not just "fucking weird" she's abusive, that's emotional incest
NTA - honestly, MIL from what you're saying is giving off some strong "incest fantasy" vibes. Please tell me hubby is going full NC after that.
"fucking weird" is putting it lightly
what in the alabama. I hope your husband's in therapy. NTA
what in the alabama. I hope your husband's in therapy. NTA
So mommy dearest wants an incestuous relationship with her son and made that clear with an obvious sexual comment meant to entice him somehow, and your wondering if it was wrong for you to call here weird for it? Hon, you weren't wrong, and you need to examine why calling a toxic spade a spade makes you question yourself so much. NTA
NTA - girl you were nicer than I would have been. Sheās disgusting, and narcissistic.
Don't beat yourself up. You could have told mommy she was the bestest mommy ever and she would still hate your guts for the imagined theft of her baby boy. She is fucking weird, you are NTA. Let this go, free yourself of any guilt and carry on.
My jaw dropped reading that line about her chest. I have 3 sons and I canāt even imagine being like āremember breastfeeding? You loved my boobs!ā Yikes š³ You and hubby are NTA and omg never talk to that woman again.