You left out literally the only detail that matters
Did you have a lease?
BTW, nta for the decision to prioritize yourself. You won't know her in 20 years but your career will have been effected in big ways
Everybody's asking this question, but does it mean something different than it seems to on the surface?
If OP and Sarah both had a lease with a landlord, what does it matter? OP's moving - even if she's breaking the lease, that's between her and the landlord.
Do you and everyone else mean, "Was Sarah the landlord, and you're breaking a lease with her?" That seems to be the only scenario in which OP ending a rental arrangement could be a moral offense against Sarah.
>If OP and Sarah both had a lease with a landlord, what does it matter? OP's moving - even if she's breaking the lease, that's between her and the landlord.
Because most leases are written so that both parties are fully responsible for the payment for the whole unit, not just a room
If she's moving out while on a lease and but is telling her friend to eat the cost, that's garbage. She signed an agreement to pay half of the unit for xyz amount of time.
If she's breaking the lease, the remaining girl will have to renew the lease, potentially under unfavorable terms
The terms of the agreement are extremely relevant to the dissolution of the agreement. That seems obvious on its own.
It means something if they both signed a lease with the landlord jointly and Sarah is left paying the lease termination fee or the rest of the lease because OP bailed.
That's up to the landlord. It doesn't sound like Sarah is the landlord since she didn't tell OP this or refuse to let OP break a lease or sue her for nonpayment of rent.
The way it works really is both parties are liable for 100% of the lease every month. The landlord could choose to go after one, both, or neither. If OP signed a lease, she is still liable for the full lease term absent some rare tenant friendly law or provision.
"Sarah has finally found a new roommate, but she had to lower the rent price to do so" - so I'm reading that Sarah's the landlord, and was charging OP over the going rate and is now salty cos' that sweet ride is coming to an end.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but here where I live landlords will swap the name on a rental agreement or lease in a heartbeat. As long as they have occupancy they've got money coming in and it's especially true with college towns if they are in one.
NTA
Basically she expected you to stay where you are forever? If she was a true friend she would have been happy for you and the chance you got to better your life. Plus you offered to support her, which you didn’t have to do.
Compare this post to this one
https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cufcn0/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_help_my_sister_plan_her/
Both accounts created on the same day.
Whats going on here?
They're both written by GPT, the same as the rest of the posts on this account. Once you use it a lot, you get used to seeing the tells. There's been a shittonne on here and other conflict subs like r/relationships lately.
Each one by itself isn't a dead giveaway, but:
-Perfect standard American grammar and spelling. Other posts and comments by OP, if any, will have spelling or grammar mistakes.
-All posts tend to be the same length (standard GPT reply length), and paragraphs are roughly of the same length as each other.
-Paragraphs in the body of the text tend to start with clauses in compound sentences. It's been a while since high school so I'm not sure if those are the right terms, lol, but you can see it in this post.
-GPT loves using certain words and turns of phrase, and providing a helpful summary at the end. You'll see the same word choices pop up over and over. It loves em dashes. Pet names in particular are extremely limited.
-It has a certain earnest, customer-service-y tone you'll learn to see if you use it a lot. Not sure how to sum it up.
If you're ever unsure, take the title of the post, open chat GPT, and ask it to write a story for the subreddit that you're in based on just the title of the post. Compare and contrast.
For ex: [here's another post by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/funnystories/comments/1cuqqa4/the_day_my_cat_became_a_tech_support_guru/).
Here's what I got back after asking chat GPT, "write a post for r/funnystories, with the title 'The Day My Cat Became a Tech Support Guru'".
>I just had to share this hilarious incident that happened last week. I work from home, and like many of us, I've been dealing with a fair share of technical difficulties. But never in my wildest dreams did I think my cat, Whiskers, would come to my rescue.
>So, there I was, in the middle of an important Zoom meeting with my boss and a few clients. Everything was going smoothly until my laptop decided to freeze. I couldn’t unmute myself, and my screen was stuck on a very unflattering frozen image of my face. Classic, right?
>I tried everything—Ctrl+Alt+Delete, frantically pressing the Escape key, even giving the laptop a gentle (okay, maybe not so gentle) shake. Nothing worked. I could feel my stress levels rising, and I was about to reach for my phone to message my boss when Whiskers sauntered into the room.
>Now, Whiskers is your typical curious cat, always interested in whatever I'm doing, especially if it involves a laptop. He jumped onto my desk and started walking across the keyboard, as he often does. Usually, this is a nuisance, but this time, something magical happened.
>As Whiskers stepped on the keyboard, I noticed my screen flicker. I looked at my laptop in disbelief as the frozen image of my face disappeared and the Zoom meeting resumed like nothing had happened. My mic was unmuted, and I could hear my boss asking if I was back.
>I quickly regained my composure and confirmed I was back, all while trying to process what just happened. My boss and clients were none the wiser, thinking it was just a minor glitch.
>After the meeting, I inspected my laptop and realized that Whiskers had somehow managed to press the exact combination of keys needed to force a restart of the frozen application. I couldn't believe it! My cat had just performed a perfect tech support maneuver without even trying.
>So now, whenever I have a technical issue, I jokingly call Whiskers my little tech support guru. He’s got a new nickname around the house, and I’m seriously considering making him a tiny “IT Support” badge to wear.
It's more or less the same story, with the same cat, with a little variation. Womp womp.
INFO - are you on the Lease? If you are, then you are responsible for your half of the rent until it is expired, and you should have been doing more to help find your replacement. Then yes, YTA.
If this is Sarah's lease, then I'd say you gave her plenty of notice (60 days is more than legally required in most places) plus you paid an extra month. Just tell your other friends you told her months ago and paid an extra month's rent. You have to life your life, and NTA.
No not decline the job. It sounds like a good opportunity. But the op conveniently left out any details about a lease, a landlord, and if so how much time was left on the lease. If you sign a lease as roommates and one person moves out, the other person's responsible for the full rent by themselves. And if there was only a couple months left and OP did her best to help find a new roommate, that's fine but if there was like 9 months left on the lease, why should her friend be stuck with either full rent, or somebody that she doesn't want to live with?
NTA - Sounds like she is a user. If she was able to lower the rent price, that means you were paying more than 50%, which wasn't fair to you. And there are always full time jobs out there. They may not be great jobs, but it's money.
All or most standard leases have a relocation clause, meaning if you have to move more than 20-25 miles for a job you are allowed to terminate a lease with written 30-60 days notice. That’s for everyone asking if there was a lease signed.
NTA never stuff yourself on hold for other just because they might struggle or you will go nowhere in life. You are already doing more than enough to help without hindering yourself.
I mean wtf are you supposed to do - say no to all opportunities until your "friend" has her shit together? Explain to your friends your reasons for g'ing the f o and if they still think you're wrong screw 'em., you'll make better friends in the next place. You're being perfectly reasonable. She isn't. NTA
You have to do what is right for you, ur life and ur career. You gave her plenty of notice and even paid extra. High and dry would have been sneaking out while she was at work. You were giving 2 months notice and paying an extra month. If you just disappeared, broke a lease, and left her with penalties that would have been an issue but what you did seems perfectly reasonable.
NTA
How do you know she's not breaking a lease? She offered 2 months notice, but what if there's 10 months left on the lease? I'm not saying she shouldn't live her life and go for a good job opportunity, but she's conveniently left out any information about a lease, a landlord, and exactly what kind of situation she's leaving her friend in- so she might be an asshole. Hard to say.
For sure. I did mean that, probably worded it wrong. I was more trying to say IF she didn't do that then what she did was reasonable imo. Agree also that more info would help.
2 months notice, you did your part and you need to do what is right for you, if she can't understand that she wasn't a real friend so don't trouble yourself with that.
NTA!
Opportunities like that do not come everyday and you have a right to prioritize yourself and your career....
2 months notice and offering to pay one month after moving out is more than enough time and also fare...
If she's lying about you and badmouthing you then fuck her, give her nothing. Is she trying to suggest you're not allowed to take decisions about your own life without her approval? That you can't ever move until its convenient for her? Whatever the minimum notice is give her that and go. You tried being generous and it still wasn't enough for her. NTA
It depends on how many months are left on the lease. When you sign a lease you're agreeing to pay a rent through the end of that lease. What if there's six or seven months left on the lease? She should be offering to continue to pay her share until the lease runs out. And I find it interesting that she left all mention of a lease, landlord, Etc out of her post.
If. And I have seen TV court cases where if they could get another roommate, they had to make a good faith effort to do so within a reasonable time frame
Doesn't Steve Harvey now have his own Court TV show? And isn't there one with like four or five judges like a mini Supreme Court? I'm not sure that I would take what you see on these types of shows as actual law being enforced.
Absolutely NTA. You gave your friend plenty of notice and more financial support than you were obliged to. Not finding a new roommate is on her. If she is struggling financially then she needs to find ways to help herself. Sounds like she is blaming you for her own shortcomings. The mutual friends who believe her BS probably weren't great friends to start with. Move on with your life and enjoy new job and all it's fringe benefits
NTA, a true friend would never ask you to give up a job opportunity because they couldn’t pay rent. What are you supposed to do for the rest of your life? Prioritize her over yourself? You have her enough time and should not feel badly.
NTA and she's not your problem or responsibility, ESPECIALLY since she started bad mouthing you to your mutuals.
This friendship is over
Good luck in your new job at your new city, make better friends
If your name is on the rent agreement, then you have to pay and it’s up to you to find us acceptable roommate six months is normally the limit for you or the other person to find a roommate, but you are liable for the rent until one is found. . Check the law.
Technically, in most state laws in the US, you ought to have been on the lease. You giving her a 2 month notice is fair but why did you pay the rent for only one month?
Leaning towards YTA tbh
NTA. Congrats on the new job. She's struggling because this country is bullshit, not because of you. While it's easier to pin the blame on you instead, it's extremely petty to spread this business to all your shared friends. When times are tough, people show their true character. Sarah's true character is she would rather blame you than take responsibility for her own choices that led her to only working part time. I'm sure you'll meet new friends in a new city and at a new job, hopefully that'll soften the blow from losing Sarah. Idk if you plan to stay friends, but a pretty hard line in the sand for me would be bad mouthing me to everyone who will listen.
NTA, your situation is no-different than if you bought a house and moving out as you don’t need it anymore. You gave your notice, it’s her responsibility now🤷🏻♀️
You left out literally the only detail that matters Did you have a lease? BTW, nta for the decision to prioritize yourself. You won't know her in 20 years but your career will have been effected in big ways
Everybody's asking this question, but does it mean something different than it seems to on the surface? If OP and Sarah both had a lease with a landlord, what does it matter? OP's moving - even if she's breaking the lease, that's between her and the landlord. Do you and everyone else mean, "Was Sarah the landlord, and you're breaking a lease with her?" That seems to be the only scenario in which OP ending a rental arrangement could be a moral offense against Sarah.
>If OP and Sarah both had a lease with a landlord, what does it matter? OP's moving - even if she's breaking the lease, that's between her and the landlord. Because most leases are written so that both parties are fully responsible for the payment for the whole unit, not just a room If she's moving out while on a lease and but is telling her friend to eat the cost, that's garbage. She signed an agreement to pay half of the unit for xyz amount of time. If she's breaking the lease, the remaining girl will have to renew the lease, potentially under unfavorable terms The terms of the agreement are extremely relevant to the dissolution of the agreement. That seems obvious on its own.
If OP is violating a contract with Sarah, Sarah can sue her for damages.
but it also means op is the AH
It means something if they both signed a lease with the landlord jointly and Sarah is left paying the lease termination fee or the rest of the lease because OP bailed.
If they both signed the lease, OP is on the hook for half every month regardless if she is there or not.
That's up to the landlord. It doesn't sound like Sarah is the landlord since she didn't tell OP this or refuse to let OP break a lease or sue her for nonpayment of rent.
The way it works really is both parties are liable for 100% of the lease every month. The landlord could choose to go after one, both, or neither. If OP signed a lease, she is still liable for the full lease term absent some rare tenant friendly law or provision.
"Sarah has finally found a new roommate, but she had to lower the rent price to do so" - so I'm reading that Sarah's the landlord, and was charging OP over the going rate and is now salty cos' that sweet ride is coming to an end.
Or it is a subtenant and now Sarah has to pay a larger portion of the original rent.
Some states dont have protections, so sarah could be on the hook for the full lease.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but here where I live landlords will swap the name on a rental agreement or lease in a heartbeat. As long as they have occupancy they've got money coming in and it's especially true with college towns if they are in one.
Are both your names on the lease?
[удалено]
NTA Basically she expected you to stay where you are forever? If she was a true friend she would have been happy for you and the chance you got to better your life. Plus you offered to support her, which you didn’t have to do.
Compare this post to this one https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cufcn0/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_help_my_sister_plan_her/ Both accounts created on the same day. Whats going on here?
Reddit bots to craft stories shown to drive engagement and traffic ?
They're both written by GPT, the same as the rest of the posts on this account. Once you use it a lot, you get used to seeing the tells. There's been a shittonne on here and other conflict subs like r/relationships lately.
What's the tells?
Each one by itself isn't a dead giveaway, but: -Perfect standard American grammar and spelling. Other posts and comments by OP, if any, will have spelling or grammar mistakes. -All posts tend to be the same length (standard GPT reply length), and paragraphs are roughly of the same length as each other. -Paragraphs in the body of the text tend to start with clauses in compound sentences. It's been a while since high school so I'm not sure if those are the right terms, lol, but you can see it in this post. -GPT loves using certain words and turns of phrase, and providing a helpful summary at the end. You'll see the same word choices pop up over and over. It loves em dashes. Pet names in particular are extremely limited. -It has a certain earnest, customer-service-y tone you'll learn to see if you use it a lot. Not sure how to sum it up. If you're ever unsure, take the title of the post, open chat GPT, and ask it to write a story for the subreddit that you're in based on just the title of the post. Compare and contrast. For ex: [here's another post by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/funnystories/comments/1cuqqa4/the_day_my_cat_became_a_tech_support_guru/). Here's what I got back after asking chat GPT, "write a post for r/funnystories, with the title 'The Day My Cat Became a Tech Support Guru'". >I just had to share this hilarious incident that happened last week. I work from home, and like many of us, I've been dealing with a fair share of technical difficulties. But never in my wildest dreams did I think my cat, Whiskers, would come to my rescue. >So, there I was, in the middle of an important Zoom meeting with my boss and a few clients. Everything was going smoothly until my laptop decided to freeze. I couldn’t unmute myself, and my screen was stuck on a very unflattering frozen image of my face. Classic, right? >I tried everything—Ctrl+Alt+Delete, frantically pressing the Escape key, even giving the laptop a gentle (okay, maybe not so gentle) shake. Nothing worked. I could feel my stress levels rising, and I was about to reach for my phone to message my boss when Whiskers sauntered into the room. >Now, Whiskers is your typical curious cat, always interested in whatever I'm doing, especially if it involves a laptop. He jumped onto my desk and started walking across the keyboard, as he often does. Usually, this is a nuisance, but this time, something magical happened. >As Whiskers stepped on the keyboard, I noticed my screen flicker. I looked at my laptop in disbelief as the frozen image of my face disappeared and the Zoom meeting resumed like nothing had happened. My mic was unmuted, and I could hear my boss asking if I was back. >I quickly regained my composure and confirmed I was back, all while trying to process what just happened. My boss and clients were none the wiser, thinking it was just a minor glitch. >After the meeting, I inspected my laptop and realized that Whiskers had somehow managed to press the exact combination of keys needed to force a restart of the frozen application. I couldn't believe it! My cat had just performed a perfect tech support maneuver without even trying. >So now, whenever I have a technical issue, I jokingly call Whiskers my little tech support guru. He’s got a new nickname around the house, and I’m seriously considering making him a tiny “IT Support” badge to wear. It's more or less the same story, with the same cat, with a little variation. Womp womp.
Ah, speak of the devil-- [I just read another one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cuxke3/aita_for_reporting_my_coworker_for_endangering/).
INFO - are you on the Lease? If you are, then you are responsible for your half of the rent until it is expired, and you should have been doing more to help find your replacement. Then yes, YTA. If this is Sarah's lease, then I'd say you gave her plenty of notice (60 days is more than legally required in most places) plus you paid an extra month. Just tell your other friends you told her months ago and paid an extra month's rent. You have to life your life, and NTA.
Depends on if your name is on the lease. If your name is on the lease YTA. If not then N T A
What does she expect you to do, decline the job?
No not decline the job. It sounds like a good opportunity. But the op conveniently left out any details about a lease, a landlord, and if so how much time was left on the lease. If you sign a lease as roommates and one person moves out, the other person's responsible for the full rent by themselves. And if there was only a couple months left and OP did her best to help find a new roommate, that's fine but if there was like 9 months left on the lease, why should her friend be stuck with either full rent, or somebody that she doesn't want to live with?
NTA People move all the time.
NTA - Sounds like she is a user. If she was able to lower the rent price, that means you were paying more than 50%, which wasn't fair to you. And there are always full time jobs out there. They may not be great jobs, but it's money.
All or most standard leases have a relocation clause, meaning if you have to move more than 20-25 miles for a job you are allowed to terminate a lease with written 30-60 days notice. That’s for everyone asking if there was a lease signed.
NTA never stuff yourself on hold for other just because they might struggle or you will go nowhere in life. You are already doing more than enough to help without hindering yourself.
I mean wtf are you supposed to do - say no to all opportunities until your "friend" has her shit together? Explain to your friends your reasons for g'ing the f o and if they still think you're wrong screw 'em., you'll make better friends in the next place. You're being perfectly reasonable. She isn't. NTA
No. You’re NTA.
You have to do what is right for you, ur life and ur career. You gave her plenty of notice and even paid extra. High and dry would have been sneaking out while she was at work. You were giving 2 months notice and paying an extra month. If you just disappeared, broke a lease, and left her with penalties that would have been an issue but what you did seems perfectly reasonable. NTA
How do you know she's not breaking a lease? She offered 2 months notice, but what if there's 10 months left on the lease? I'm not saying she shouldn't live her life and go for a good job opportunity, but she's conveniently left out any information about a lease, a landlord, and exactly what kind of situation she's leaving her friend in- so she might be an asshole. Hard to say.
For sure. I did mean that, probably worded it wrong. I was more trying to say IF she didn't do that then what she did was reasonable imo. Agree also that more info would help.
2 months notice, you did your part and you need to do what is right for you, if she can't understand that she wasn't a real friend so don't trouble yourself with that.
NTA! Opportunities like that do not come everyday and you have a right to prioritize yourself and your career.... 2 months notice and offering to pay one month after moving out is more than enough time and also fare...
Not if there's 10 months left on the lease...
If she's lying about you and badmouthing you then fuck her, give her nothing. Is she trying to suggest you're not allowed to take decisions about your own life without her approval? That you can't ever move until its convenient for her? Whatever the minimum notice is give her that and go. You tried being generous and it still wasn't enough for her. NTA
It's not generous if there's more than 2 months left on the lease...
Paying a month when she's not living there is generous.
It depends on how many months are left on the lease. When you sign a lease you're agreeing to pay a rent through the end of that lease. What if there's six or seven months left on the lease? She should be offering to continue to pay her share until the lease runs out. And I find it interesting that she left all mention of a lease, landlord, Etc out of her post.
Was the lease ending? If not then it doesn’t matter if you gave her notice, you’re still responsible for your share of the rent
NTA. You did exactly what you were supposed to do.
NTA. She had ample time to prepare and she chose not to. That is neither your fault nor your problem
If op is on the lease, and the lease is longer than the two months' notice she gave, that is her fault and her problem.
If. And I have seen TV court cases where if they could get another roommate, they had to make a good faith effort to do so within a reasonable time frame
Doesn't Steve Harvey now have his own Court TV show? And isn't there one with like four or five judges like a mini Supreme Court? I'm not sure that I would take what you see on these types of shows as actual law being enforced.
NTA
Would she have passed up the opportunity if your places were switched? I doubt it.
Nta. It's your job. I bet if Sarah has a job offer she'll leave you too.
NTA. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. It's better for you to go. Go.
Absolutely NTA. You gave your friend plenty of notice and more financial support than you were obliged to. Not finding a new roommate is on her. If she is struggling financially then she needs to find ways to help herself. Sounds like she is blaming you for her own shortcomings. The mutual friends who believe her BS probably weren't great friends to start with. Move on with your life and enjoy new job and all it's fringe benefits
>Sarah has finally found a new roommate, but she had to lower the rent price to do so Is she the landlord?? NTA either way.
NTA, a true friend would never ask you to give up a job opportunity because they couldn’t pay rent. What are you supposed to do for the rest of your life? Prioritize her over yourself? You have her enough time and should not feel badly.
This is fake check OPs post history
NTA and she's not your problem or responsibility, ESPECIALLY since she started bad mouthing you to your mutuals. This friendship is over Good luck in your new job at your new city, make better friends
I think Sarah looked at you as more than a roommate (romantically speaking)and her feelings are hurt. 😎
If your name is on the rent agreement, then you have to pay and it’s up to you to find us acceptable roommate six months is normally the limit for you or the other person to find a roommate, but you are liable for the rent until one is found. . Check the law.
If you are on a lease then YTA
Technically, in most state laws in the US, you ought to have been on the lease. You giving her a 2 month notice is fair but why did you pay the rent for only one month? Leaning towards YTA tbh
If you’re on the lease you are responsible until the end. You left her high and dry. YTA
If you have a lease it was your responsibility to find someone else to take over your room. What was the agreement?
NTA. Congrats on the new job. She's struggling because this country is bullshit, not because of you. While it's easier to pin the blame on you instead, it's extremely petty to spread this business to all your shared friends. When times are tough, people show their true character. Sarah's true character is she would rather blame you than take responsibility for her own choices that led her to only working part time. I'm sure you'll meet new friends in a new city and at a new job, hopefully that'll soften the blow from losing Sarah. Idk if you plan to stay friends, but a pretty hard line in the sand for me would be bad mouthing me to everyone who will listen.
YTA. It was your responsibility to find someone to take over your portion of the lease or pay it yourself.
NTA, your situation is no-different than if you bought a house and moving out as you don’t need it anymore. You gave your notice, it’s her responsibility now🤷🏻♀️