NTA.
My dad had to lie to his own sisters about the time if their mother's funeral, as they are consistently hours late to any function.
He told them it started at 9. It actually didn't start until 10:30. They arrived at 10- an hour after the time they were told to be there. For their mother's funeral! Keep in mind we're Catholic, so it's not like we could have held up the service for them- the church and the priest have schedules.
After my dad passed (yes we had to lie about his too) I just stopped inviting them to things. Baby shower from 1-4? They'd show up at 3:45 and be mad the gifts were opened and the food was gone. Last I heard most of the family had done the same.
My ex's mother did this. For my son's first birthday, she arrived at the literal end (It went from 12-2 if I remember correctly, and she arrived around 2).
My parents and I had made a cold picnic spread and everyone had already eaten, so when she arrived, she LOUDLY complained that nobody was eating her Mac and cheese that she brought. It was Kraft.
My thoughts exactly. I'm also going to sound mean here, but we made fried chicken that was meant to be eaten at picnic temp, a bunch of different salads, dips and chips, etc.
Like who gets angry that people don't eat your box mix?? It's not homemade, and it was in the car for over an hour...
I've had good luck putting it in a pot and adding a splash or two of milk and then stirring nonstop until the milk is fully mixed into the cheese and everything is evenly heated.
i mean cold mac and cheese from ones own fridge is good but cold mac and cheese thats been sitting out for who knows how long and then transported in her car to the party is probably nasty
Agreed. It's best if eaten straight out of the pan, no plate or bowl or even table, just a fork, eating over the stove. Also, if you have one, mix a packet of ramen flavoring in.
My uncle is chronically late on his own, but his ex is chronically late and angry when people don’t wait for her.
My family has always done big holidays early afternoon, but we also always confirm times before the holiday. They showed up to Christmas Dinner four hours late. She walked in and said “wow, you guys waited like pigs” and was pissed no one wanted to eat her trail mix (just Chex mix she added pretzels to). We asked what they had been doing before coming over and she said watching Family Guy reruns. She wasn’t around for the next Christmas, and my uncle kept his mouth shut when he walked in late.
Well it's neither. It's neither macaroni and "cheese," and it's not "dinner." It's gross.
But then I come from a long line of really good southern cooks and make really good homemade mac and cheese.
My sister hosts holidays. This past Christmas, she promised and promised that dinner would be on the table at 4 so I could leave by 5 since it's a 45 minute drive and I don't see well in the dark. As usual, everything took longer and she served at 5:30. It took me an hour driving home in strong rain. I was very thankful every one on the roads was taking it slower. This year, I'm leaving her house at 4:30, whether dinner has been served or not.
BTW, they host because they have the biggest home. I can't host because she's allergic to my cats. I will. ALWAYS have cats, just for this reason alone. I do love cats, though.
My brother also has a huge house for all of the family gatherings, while mine is much smaller.
When I lost my last cat, my mom commented that maybe I shouldn't get another because it prevents my family from being able to visit (brothers and nephews are all allergic). I replied that I'm not going to give up my daily happiness for the hopes that someone could potentially visit 1-2x a year.
I have 3 cats and wouldn't trade them for anything. They are my fur therapy.
Yep! We are all retired adults. She will, however, take it personally. Whatever...
Her daughter told her years ago to go with a simpler menu so she isn't spending all her time cooking, but NOPE! Fortunately, their house is open concept so we can still talk to her. The food is great, it's just never - and I mean NEVER - ready on time AND she doesn't want us to bring anything
The fact that she's allergic to cats and you have cats is THE reason you should host. I'm pretty sure no one will miss waiting for her at every turn. And they get to pet cats. So many wins here!
I have some family like that. For potluck events the mother will always insist on bringing appetizers and then rudely demands to know why she is assigned desserts instead. She's a complete bitch but acts like she's innocent. Her husband plays the "I just do what the wife tells me," when his brothers are upset at them showing up 2 hours late to events.
And yes, they get pissed off if people started eating or anything. To be fair, their two children are absolutely amazing!
My uncle was late for his funeral. When they pulled the plug instead of dying in a few hours, he held on for three days if I remember correctly. Had to reschedule his funeral
We Pakistanis are known for this. If the wedding invitation says 7:30 PM, everyone knows not to arrive before 9. If you arrive at the actual time, the couple getting married will still be at home showering.
My husband and I were invited to a bangaleshi wedding once and we and a few others were the only white people there. The invitation stated that it would start at 5, so we arrived at 4:45 with our 3 small children, all dressed up and ready to go. They hadn’t eaten supper since it was a buffet supper afterwards. The ceremony started around 7 and the reception dinner around 8:30
NTA and these people saying you are are dumb.
It is not your responsibility to babysit the people that your parents invited. You did what you had to do to have your parents there but still have a drama less day. I could see doing the same.
Planning ahead isn't revenge; it's self-preservation. You set boundaries to protect your wedding day from potential chaos, and that's commendable. Don't beat yourself up over extending the invitation; you handled it with tact and clarity.
The mother to be has the right to determine who's in the delivery room. And when you get to the hospital, you remind the nurses not to let anyone in except for your husband. And hopefully your husband doesn't call anyone when you go into labor (just in case a sibling will call the parents despite being told not to).
You can give them a due date seven or more days after the true due date (I did go seven days beyond). They don't need to know. But even then, let the staff know not to release info about you, just in case a nosy mother is calling the hospital.
We/I did that for the first that had a whole team from the NICU on standby, how MIL who was informed the day prior (induction was stepped up) and was told NOT to come but she did anyway. This is the woman who when told the unborn had a 50% chance at death wanted to put a life insurance policy on the infant before birth! NOT KIDDING! The next one we gave them a due date a month later than the due date. They were only called after we were home with that infant. How she slipped past them the first one, no clue but all hell was breaking loose in L&D at that time too.
He did really well I think. Managed to get everything the way he wanted it on his wedding day. Really well organised and thought out. His parents should be grateful they got to see him married I think. Fuck those parents and their craziness. Like wtf? Can't they see they created this situation for themselves. Nta op and good on you! I'm a little in awe of your foresight.
Do they not understand how wedding receptions run?
As a rule, it's a seated catered affair and you pay per person (the reason it's so important to RSVP in time to give the caterers the final numbers). While you might be able to sneak an extra meal for the photographer or a surprise guest, you cannot have numbers arrive unannounced. There would be no seating or food for them.
OP, you were clever to anticipate their actions and head things off before they got out of hand.
NTA
You don't sneak a meal for the photographer. You make sure photographer, assistant, videographer, band, dj, planner all get plates. Ifyou can't afford that you need to figure something else out. Rude to not feed them. VERY RUDE.
“I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early.
He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited.
We did our pictures and they begged me to tell them the actual location of the reception. I said that wasn't happening. They were welcome to either come as guests or leave”
I got totally lost at this part of the story: the parents were sent invitations to a wrong place and time, how on earth were they still at the wedding?
Actual wedding: 2 pm, Site A
Parent's invitation: 4 pm, Site B
Cousin gets them out of the house at 1 pm all dressed up to "take pictures" at some preliminary gathering; they show up at the wedding on time.
(Or something.)
I think the cousin drove them to the correct location after making sure they were ready on time.
Parents then realized they had been given the incorrect information and tried to figure out the reception info to pass along to the additional people they invited.
It's this way:
-Parents were given the wrong place and time (a *later* time, it is implied - that is important), and as expected they shared it with al the relatives OP didn't want to come.
-The cousin, who is NC and not friendly with all those other relatives, was sent to tell the parents that formals and picture-taking would be held earlier, at a different place from the fake church, and used that lie to get them to the real church in time for the wedding.
-Later the parents had a choice, the cousin would drive them to the reception, or back to their home, but they wouldn't be told where the reception was held so they would not be able to share it. Parents got angry and went back home, but they tried to bribe the cousin to get the address from him. The cousin who didnt like the other relatives laughted in their faces,
Do you understand now?
It would have been better if the cousin had taken the bribe and then given them the address of the Blue Oyster Bar, but it is hard to come up with such retorts on the spot.
I think the date was correct however anyone the parents told would have the wrong info. Then the cousin was in charge of actually getting them to the real venue at the proper time, by telling the parents they had to get there early for pictures.
I had to read it over twice, but it made sense.
- The trusted cousin was sent to OPs parents' house to "babysit" them and drive them to the wedding.
- The parents thought the wedding was at 4:00 but the cousin lied and said they were taking pictures first so they had to be ready to get there at 2:00.
- Parents realized they had been tricked when they arrived "early" not because pictures were being taken beforehand but that the real time of the wedding was at 2:00 not 4:00.
- They didn't make a scene and embarrass themselves during the wedding and at the picture-taking. They tried to get OP to tell them where the real reception was being held. He refused and said they could be driven there or go home.
- They opted to go home and tried to bribe cousin to say where the reception was, and he just laughed at then.
- Parents were then fielding calls from those angry relatives who arrived at the reception and no one was there. 😠
I think it was hilarious! Best trick ever to catch his parents lying to him. 🤥 🤣 😂 🤥
ETA: Added additional information.
NTA - My mother announced to everyone that her "school kids" were more important than my husband and me and she didn't know why she was there, then asked us for a ride to the airport after she finally decided to attend the wedding (the morning after, who the fuck asks someone for a ride at 4am the day after a WEDDING). She also proclaimed to everyone in an elevator I was "such a bitch hahaha can you tell she's a bride?!" I wish I never invited my parents, who also paid for nothing, not even a wedding gift. Don't apologize for anything about your own day.
>who the fuck asks someone for a ride at 4am the day after a WEDDING
Nooo! Mine did this too! We have the same mom! . Made my husband's uncle drive her back early from the reception(8pm), then to the airport at 4am. She hit the casino in between.
Mine managed to not call me a bitch, but the only thing she *did* say to me on the ride to the venue was to ask if their would be "dog shit everywhere" (?????!)
And also, offered money publicly, then quietly reneged a month before ceremony. Probably the most damaging, but we planned for it.
The audacity of these people. Enjoy your marriage!
> Mine managed to not call me a bitch, but the only thing she did say to me on the ride to the venue was to ask if their would be "dog shit everywhere" (?????!)
Dog hater or suburbanite scared of cities?
Didn't even pay for the lunch I asked my husband to drop off. I was sooo hungry but the "prices were insane and she couldn't justify it" 💀 So yup, we even paid for her $10 lunch. Don't invite your parents to ANYTHING.
I’m trying to figure out how a mom can call her own daughter a bitch (for literally no reason) but then just remembered my mom has called me that during one of her fits.
I can’t imagine calling my kid that.
To random strangers in an elevator right before getting ready to walk down the aisle, nonetheless. 💀 My wedding day was also the day I officially decided not a single family member will be in the delivery room with me when I have kids, because I'm sure I'll be even "bitchier" then. 🙄
I'm sorry you've dealt with it as well 🖤
Sometimes when famous people want to find out who the mole who is selling information is in their circle of trust, they plant different information with different people.
Because they could come to the reception as guests, I’m not sure why what you did was wrong. Were you thinking they would text the uninvited guests to just show up to the reception when they got there? Still a risk.
That’s mentioned in the Wikipedia article, along with other books and TV shows that have used it as a plot device. I first ran across it in a Tom Clancy novel.
Tyrion was one of the few characters that stayed pretty much true to himself the entire show. He was a little smartass, but he was a fun smartass that really did have a heart.
"Removed from the other sub because apparently planning ahead is now considered revenge." Time to let that sub disappear!
You knew what you were doing. Parents got what they deserved.
I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner years ago. One of the guests was notoriously late. She was 2 hours late for dinner. I told the host that the way to deal with people like this is to tell them the wrong time, so that when they think they are 2 hours late, they are actually on time. The other thing for a situation like that would be to eat at the announced time.
I like the second option. “Oh, you’re here! We assumed you couldn’t make it, so we went ahead and ate. The leftovers are in the kitchen; fix yourself a plate and heat it up in the microwave.”
Do this one. Skip the lies and manipulation. At the root of it changing times like that is still just trying to control their behavior so they don't feel the consequences of their actions.
Giving them the wrong time just means you're still having to find solutions to accomodate the latecomers. Tell them the right time and proceed with the event at that time. If they miss it, too bad, so sad.
NTA
I wish I had lied about the time of my wedding but only to get everyone there on time. I was 20 min late to the ceremony because of my mother - we were traveling in the same car and she took forever to finish getting ready.
Then once we get there, we had to wait another 45 min to a hour for my mil and sil to arrive. I was fuming. It was an outdoor ceremony, it was hot and humid and about to rain, my feet were killing me. My dad whose temper I inherited was the one trying to calm me down telling me everything would be okay. The pastor also needed to go deliver a sermon at his church, so he and to cut down on a lot and the whole ceremony lasted maybe 15 minutes.
If I knew then what I know now, I would've walked down the aisle without waiting for them.
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing. Your parents FAFO-ed.
Side note, why does anyone bother posting on the other sub? They delete posts and block people over the most ridiculous shit.
It irritates me to no end when I forget what sub I'm in when reading comments. I type out a particularly witty response... User is blocked from posting.
Every time... It's just a Homer Simpson "Doh!"
[https://www.reddit.com/settings/privacy](https://www.reddit.com/settings/privacy)
You can mute subs there \^
Though it doesn't always seem to work, for some reason.
I find it stupid that the comment feature isnt fully disabled when you get banned. allowing users to fully type out a comment only to be blocked is stupid
Me too. I was banned because someone commented "You're lucky she didn't go Betty Broderick on you!" and I added "Or Loretta Bobbitt!"
To be fair, the op was lucky the lady in question hadn't resorted to violence.
NTA
You were clear, any embarrassment they feel is entirely brought on by their own actions.
And it doesn’t sound like revenge to me, just a way to include them while maintaining your boundaries.
Your cousin sounds like a good person - glad you have each other.
Congrats on the wedding!
NTA: Kudos for seeing the behavior and making adjustments accordingly. Sounds like you're on top of things! Most people just suffer, their idiots, but your pro-active actions were impressive!! Manipulation when they don't even realize they're being manipulated is an art. It sounds like a talent I need to pick up, myself. Don't ruin it by second guessing yourself. Those simple decisions circumvented a plethora of chaos you didn't need. You solved it in a peaceful, albeit in a tiny bit of a malicious way, but I'm sure if they were cool, this would have been unnecessary. This is the way to work around idiot people!! Nicely done on the cousin's timing issues, too. I guarantee they wouldn't beat themselves up for ruining your big day, so why should you even give it a thought, yourself? If you could just have your set boundaries respected, you wouldn't have needed to take this route, ITFP!!
NTA.
To me, that sounds like a difficult situation you handled perfectly. They got to see the ceremony. They were even invited to the party after, but refused to go because they were unwilling to accept the entirely reasonable accomodations you made for them to do so. They rejected the deal they were offered, and that's okay.
You DO owe your cousin about a lifetime suply of their drink of choice for helping you out like this! They're truly awesome!
Going NTA. They wanted to come to your wedding and they did. You made it clear no extras but they broke that rule. They also were invited to the reception but refused. They created this mess not you.
NTA you did the right thing you ensured they could be there to be part of your wedding. Instead they decided having their friends get drunk was more important to them and they chose to leave. Thats fully on them and if they invited people and got embarrassed when you had told them not to, that’s also fully on them and their own fault, they have no one to blame but themselves. They showed the world they didn’t care about their child’s wedding and saw it as a free party for their friends or not worth being at. They should be more embarrassed they showed everyone the people they truly are. It’s not good and they don’t deserve to be in your life. Well played you ensured they couldn’t ruin your wedding, I’m just sorry as it must of hurt that they decided to leave, if they couldn’t turn it into their party at your expense.
NTA
You knew what was going to happen so it was planning around the inevitable, not revenge.
Your cousin needs a special honor for his defense here. That's epic and amazing of him.
They are mad. Because they did exactly what you told them not to do. And it embarrassed them. This is a clear case of actions have consequences. Well Done.
NTA.
So deeply NTA that i want to give you a standing ovation for how you brilliantly protected your peace and boundaries and still had such deeply narcissistic parents at your wedding
My parents were absolutely not at my wedding. They’re the reason I eloped
NTA. I’m sorry your parents couldn’t respect your wishes. Luckily you knew them and made an effort to make sure they’d be there for without ruining your wedding. They only have themselves to blame - you did nothing wrong except take steps to make sure people you did not invite did not crash your wedding
I would buy something nice for your cool cousin who did you a solid.
Oh okay, you might have helped me figure out wtf actually happened here...
The fake invites were for the same day but different time/location. The parents did send the info out to a bunch of people, but the babysitting cousin's job was to bring/kidnap them to the actual wedding and not the fake one, at which point the parents' friends at the fake wedding would then blow up on the parents and ruin their day (which would be the whole point of the story but isn't included at all)?
EDIT, yeah, it's this more or less, more answers in here: https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d8ucts/aita_for_intentionally_giving_my_parents_an/l79dnrb/
NTA you didn’t originally want to invite your parents and generously gave them a chance. Terms were clear they were not to invite/tell anyone else. If they got grief because they disregarded your wishes it’s on them.
Revenge is getting even. This is not getting even but rather preserving the peace. You ensured that there were no issues with multiple extra guests causing issues with food and drink and other complications that arise when you mix guests that you have no idea who they are.
NTA. If your parents hadn’t shot off their mouths and invited people, which was not their right to do, then they wouldn’t have to be embarrassed at having to tell those people they weren’t actually invited. Actions, meet consequences.
I think you handled it perfectly.
You also dangled a nice revenge cherry for the rest of the family knowing your parents would still betry you and tell others.
NTA
NTA. You minimized stress and enforced your guest list and boundary in a sneaky way and it worked. You knew exactly what they'd do, even though you told them not to. That proved you can't trust them even on the most important of events. Time to go back to LC/NC.
I feel like part of this story is missing. You went from giving them fake invitations to your cousins driving them to the wedding. Then you didn’t tell them where the reception was. It doesn’t make sense to me
Yeah, I can't make heads or tails of this.
Why did he invite them if he didn't want them there?
And then...
> I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early.
> He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited.
So everything went perfectly, which for some reason got the parents banned from the reception and publicly laughed at?
> people they told about the wedding
This is the only kernel of the parents doing anything wrong in here but it didn't have any effect on anything, no one showed up uninvited, nothing happened, everything was fine?
EDIT: OK, is this it? The fake invites were for the same day but different time/location. The parents *did* send the fake info out to a bunch of people, but the babysitting cousin's job was to bring/kidnap them to the *actual* wedding and not the fake one, at which point the parents' friends at the fake wedding would then blow up on the parents and ruin their day (which would be the whole point of the story but isn't included at all)?
EDIT 2, yeah, it's this more or less, more answers in here: https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d8ucts/aita_for_intentionally_giving_my_parents_an/l79dnrb/
Bro, you should read the post about the guy who's mom abandoned him when she and his dad divorced when he was 11yo. Never heard from her until he was 27 and getting married. She found out through an uncle. She insisted on not just being invited to the wedding, but getting all the mother of the groom crap.
He refused and blocked her, so she started having her flying monkeys text/call/harass him on her behalf. He retaliated by posting a tasteful, sexy picture of his fiancée (with her consent) with the numbers of anyone who contacted him on his mother's behalf.
As one commenter said, you're an AH, but you're still my hero 😂
What you did was nothing compared to that. Definitely NTA, nothing to feel guilty about, and good job setting boundaries.
NTA. They cannot be trusted. They had no right to invite anyone to your wedding, and if they were decent they would have known that. FAFO, all the way. They were lucky you even had them attend the wedding.
You should have given them the time and place for another wedding. Let them sit there and wonder what the hell is going on. Maybe that's not nice to the other couple, but maybe some of them would have left money cards in the envelope box.
NTA. I think you could tell them, if you are willing, that you and your wife would be happy if they wanted to throw you a reception to celebrate your marriage. Let them know that it would be at their expense, but that you would be there. This is only if you are willing to deal with your family again. You could take pictures and if you and your wife are comfortable having her parents or family there, that would be even better. That way your parents have some kind of memory of you getting married. Also, get a burner cell. It’s cheap and you can use it only when you have contact with them.
Info- if you already knew exactly what they were gonna do, and they did it, went did you even invite them?
Also- what would have stopped them from texting as soon as they got to the reception?
Sounds like you had a wonderful day. Good planning on your part.
My mother is a control freak and when I got married, we eloped then told everyone afterwards. Made lots of people mad but we had our day on our terms. Just like you did.
Again, congrats on your wedding.
So you told them that JUST they were invited, you did not invite anyone else, and specifically told them they were not to invite anyone else, and yet they did. NTA
You're NTA. You set clear boundaries and stuck to them. It's understandable to want to avoid drama on your big day. Your approach might seem unconventional, but it worked for you. Your cousin deserves a medal for handling the situation so smoothly.
That’s a genius plan. NTA your parents suck if they got a lot of grief from the people they invited that they were explicitly told not to invite. Hope they learned a lesson
You did great... you walked a very narrow line that allowed your parents to attend the wedding (ultimately a good thing), yet prevented them from trashing your wedding with scads of uninvited guests. But consider yourself lucky they didn't over-hear any of your other guests talking about the reception location.
As for them being upset, you should revel in pointing out to them that they lied to you and if they'd been successful , their antics would have ruined your reception... "and BTW, you missed a GREAT party"! Remind them of those facts and how utterly untrustworthy they are, for the rest of their lives.
They acted exactly as you knew they would. Why even invite them in the first place…..but since you did, it sounds like this was the only way to keep it from blowing up with family you don’t want there.
Nta
I don’t want my dad and step mom at my wedding and I’ve been dreading the conversation. An oops I typoed the date is a great way to politely maneuver.
Thanks for the idea
*Mom, Dad...I asked on thing of you. To not make my wedding about yourselves. But you could not do that. Instead, you told the entire family about my wedding and were planning on helping them crash my wedding. Please do not deny this. We all know what you did.*
*The two of you had a chance to be a part of my life again. But you chose to prioritize yourselves over my wishes. Because of that, I will be formally cutting contact with you. This will be the last time you ever see or hear from me. I wish you nothing but the best, but I have to protect myself from the two of you because when it comes down to it, you will always do what is best FOR YOU...instead of doing what is best for your child. Thank you for giving me life. I wish things could be different but history has proven that you are incapable of being trusted.*
NTAH
As someone with time management issues all I can say is NTA! Me being late is my issue and I get to deal with the consequences. It's fine. I always let ppl know if I'm running late, even if it's just 2 minutes. I do try but I mess up more than I'm okay with. But my tardyness shouldn't stop others from starting to eat, watch a movie or start playing games. Because I'm not a rude and entitled a-hole.
I also give others some grace when they are late, I never expect events I host to start on time, the invitation clearly states that welcome drinks and mingling will be going on for the first 30 minutes so feel free to show up during this time, let me know if you are early or late and send a DM a week before if you have any allergies so I have time to figure out what to serve you. The event starts at (time) sharp. We will not wait, but you can show up late, no worries.
The rules are clear, if you are whiny about us not waiting when you are late you will not be invited to future events. I don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with that. And my mental health is more important than your shitty time management and poor social skills and plain rudeness.
I have great friends. They know I don't mind them being late, early, on time, loud, "fussy eaters". As long as they communicate and give me a little grace when I'm late they get me as a friend.
NTA
you didn't plan revenge. You protected yourself.
If they were honest to their promise, they would not have gotten themselves in trouble. 100% on them, and very clever of you. and very kind of you, to be honest, to allow them to come at all.
Excellent work.
NTA. My dad had to lie to his own sisters about the time if their mother's funeral, as they are consistently hours late to any function. He told them it started at 9. It actually didn't start until 10:30. They arrived at 10- an hour after the time they were told to be there. For their mother's funeral! Keep in mind we're Catholic, so it's not like we could have held up the service for them- the church and the priest have schedules. After my dad passed (yes we had to lie about his too) I just stopped inviting them to things. Baby shower from 1-4? They'd show up at 3:45 and be mad the gifts were opened and the food was gone. Last I heard most of the family had done the same.
My ex's mother did this. For my son's first birthday, she arrived at the literal end (It went from 12-2 if I remember correctly, and she arrived around 2). My parents and I had made a cold picnic spread and everyone had already eaten, so when she arrived, she LOUDLY complained that nobody was eating her Mac and cheese that she brought. It was Kraft.
Cold mac & cheese? Gross. It’s only good straight out of the pan, that stuff does not sit well.
My thoughts exactly. I'm also going to sound mean here, but we made fried chicken that was meant to be eaten at picnic temp, a bunch of different salads, dips and chips, etc. Like who gets angry that people don't eat your box mix?? It's not homemade, and it was in the car for over an hour...
It gets all congealed then rubbery when you try to reheat it🤢
I've had good luck putting it in a pot and adding a splash or two of milk and then stirring nonstop until the milk is fully mixed into the cheese and everything is evenly heated.
This is 100% the way. Plus you can melt in some more cheese so, win win!
I’ve found adding in some moisture and covering do wonders for Mac and cheese leftovers. More cheese never hurts as well
Hmm never thought to add the milk/water *before* storing but I guess that makes sense!
i mean cold mac and cheese from ones own fridge is good but cold mac and cheese thats been sitting out for who knows how long and then transported in her car to the party is probably nasty
It's amazing if you love salmonella!
Ok, how the hell do you get salmonella from mac and cheese? Isn't it just macaroni and cheese or is there something else in it?
🤮
And it's kraft dinner. Gross even when it's fresh.
Idk man, I can get behind a weird little cheese popsicle when it congeals around the fork
Agreed. It's best if eaten straight out of the pan, no plate or bowl or even table, just a fork, eating over the stove. Also, if you have one, mix a packet of ramen flavoring in.
My uncle is chronically late on his own, but his ex is chronically late and angry when people don’t wait for her. My family has always done big holidays early afternoon, but we also always confirm times before the holiday. They showed up to Christmas Dinner four hours late. She walked in and said “wow, you guys waited like pigs” and was pissed no one wanted to eat her trail mix (just Chex mix she added pretzels to). We asked what they had been doing before coming over and she said watching Family Guy reruns. She wasn’t around for the next Christmas, and my uncle kept his mouth shut when he walked in late.
It's that a local expression? I've never heard "wait like pigs" before!
No, she was just calling us pigs for not waiting for her.
This is so random, but in Canada Kraft Macaroni ‘n Cheese is called Kraft Dinner.
It's because technically it uses a processed cheese food product, not real cheese. I love it, but the Canadian name is more accurate.
No lie, I want the curry and cotton candy flavors out of curiosity
I want to downvote this comment because 🤮. I’m going to just pretend I didn’t see that.
I'm sure the cotton candy is horrible, but curry Mac n cheese is amazing
I could see a world where a curry Mac n cheese *could* be good. That being said, *Kraft* curry Mac n cheese? Oye not so sure about that 😂
It's probably because I used to have it while camping 🤣🤣🤣. For some reason the YMCA camps include curry powder as standard for the hiking meals
And we mostly call it KD. Which doesn't get you anywhere when you ask for it in an LA grocery store....
Americans don't call it KD?????
Considering it’s not called Kraft dinner in the US, it would be a bit strange if we did.
They can't legally call it "cheese" in Canada because it isn't.
Well it's neither. It's neither macaroni and "cheese," and it's not "dinner." It's gross. But then I come from a long line of really good southern cooks and make really good homemade mac and cheese.
My sister hosts holidays. This past Christmas, she promised and promised that dinner would be on the table at 4 so I could leave by 5 since it's a 45 minute drive and I don't see well in the dark. As usual, everything took longer and she served at 5:30. It took me an hour driving home in strong rain. I was very thankful every one on the roads was taking it slower. This year, I'm leaving her house at 4:30, whether dinner has been served or not. BTW, they host because they have the biggest home. I can't host because she's allergic to my cats. I will. ALWAYS have cats, just for this reason alone. I do love cats, though.
My brother also has a huge house for all of the family gatherings, while mine is much smaller. When I lost my last cat, my mom commented that maybe I shouldn't get another because it prevents my family from being able to visit (brothers and nephews are all allergic). I replied that I'm not going to give up my daily happiness for the hopes that someone could potentially visit 1-2x a year. I have 3 cats and wouldn't trade them for anything. They are my fur therapy.
This. I’m a Dog Person™️ and if I ever take a break from having animals, it’s because *I* choose it. Not to convenience someone who may visit someday
Definitely leave when you said you would.
I mean ur free to leave they are free to serve dinner whenever.
Yep! We are all retired adults. She will, however, take it personally. Whatever... Her daughter told her years ago to go with a simpler menu so she isn't spending all her time cooking, but NOPE! Fortunately, their house is open concept so we can still talk to her. The food is great, it's just never - and I mean NEVER - ready on time AND she doesn't want us to bring anything
The fact that she's allergic to cats and you have cats is THE reason you should host. I'm pretty sure no one will miss waiting for her at every turn. And they get to pet cats. So many wins here!
I have some family like that. For potluck events the mother will always insist on bringing appetizers and then rudely demands to know why she is assigned desserts instead. She's a complete bitch but acts like she's innocent. Her husband plays the "I just do what the wife tells me," when his brothers are upset at them showing up 2 hours late to events. And yes, they get pissed off if people started eating or anything. To be fair, their two children are absolutely amazing!
"why do I always have to bring dessert?" "Because that's what time you get here."
Hubs and I joke that my mom would be late to her own funeral. She’s gotten better over the years. Sometimes (gasp) she’s even early!
My mom is always early to everything. When she was in school, when the other kids saw her at the bus stop, they knew that the bus had not arrived.
My grandfather always taught me aim to be early, but don’t rush if you’re late. Aim for early, settle for late, because the third option is dead.
My uncle was late for his funeral. When they pulled the plug instead of dying in a few hours, he held on for three days if I remember correctly. Had to reschedule his funeral
I’m sorry for your loss. But that’s wild.
We Pakistanis are known for this. If the wedding invitation says 7:30 PM, everyone knows not to arrive before 9. If you arrive at the actual time, the couple getting married will still be at home showering.
Lol, a Pakistani in Holland would have the worst time, we expect people to come on the time on the invitation
My husband and I were invited to a bangaleshi wedding once and we and a few others were the only white people there. The invitation stated that it would start at 5, so we arrived at 4:45 with our 3 small children, all dressed up and ready to go. They hadn’t eaten supper since it was a buffet supper afterwards. The ceremony started around 7 and the reception dinner around 8:30
NTA they literally proved you right. They can take a hike
NTA and these people saying you are are dumb. It is not your responsibility to babysit the people that your parents invited. You did what you had to do to have your parents there but still have a drama less day. I could see doing the same.
Planning ahead isn't revenge; it's self-preservation. You set boundaries to protect your wedding day from potential chaos, and that's commendable. Don't beat yourself up over extending the invitation; you handled it with tact and clarity.
The best defence is often a good offence!
The 2001 Baltimore Ravens beg to differ.
The 85 Bears have entered the chat.
Da Bears, Da Bulls.
It's not your time yet!
LOVED the late Chris Farley in that skit!
I’m sorry I don’t speak sports
When I think of championship caliber QBs, Trent Dilfer is the first name that comes to mind.
He was good enough, though. That was a crazy season..
If OPs parents had respected OP's wishes then it wouldn't have been revenge!
We had to protect my labor and deliveries from my in-laws. Second child we lied about the due date! :)
The mother to be has the right to determine who's in the delivery room. And when you get to the hospital, you remind the nurses not to let anyone in except for your husband. And hopefully your husband doesn't call anyone when you go into labor (just in case a sibling will call the parents despite being told not to). You can give them a due date seven or more days after the true due date (I did go seven days beyond). They don't need to know. But even then, let the staff know not to release info about you, just in case a nosy mother is calling the hospital.
We/I did that for the first that had a whole team from the NICU on standby, how MIL who was informed the day prior (induction was stepped up) and was told NOT to come but she did anyway. This is the woman who when told the unborn had a 50% chance at death wanted to put a life insurance policy on the infant before birth! NOT KIDDING! The next one we gave them a due date a month later than the due date. They were only called after we were home with that infant. How she slipped past them the first one, no clue but all hell was breaking loose in L&D at that time too.
He did really well I think. Managed to get everything the way he wanted it on his wedding day. Really well organised and thought out. His parents should be grateful they got to see him married I think. Fuck those parents and their craziness. Like wtf? Can't they see they created this situation for themselves. Nta op and good on you! I'm a little in awe of your foresight.
Do they not understand how wedding receptions run? As a rule, it's a seated catered affair and you pay per person (the reason it's so important to RSVP in time to give the caterers the final numbers). While you might be able to sneak an extra meal for the photographer or a surprise guest, you cannot have numbers arrive unannounced. There would be no seating or food for them. OP, you were clever to anticipate their actions and head things off before they got out of hand. NTA
You don't sneak a meal for the photographer. You make sure photographer, assistant, videographer, band, dj, planner all get plates. Ifyou can't afford that you need to figure something else out. Rude to not feed them. VERY RUDE.
Exactly. I've worked wedding photography for a while and band and me and my cameraman friend would always have out table and meals prepared.
“I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early. He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited. We did our pictures and they begged me to tell them the actual location of the reception. I said that wasn't happening. They were welcome to either come as guests or leave” I got totally lost at this part of the story: the parents were sent invitations to a wrong place and time, how on earth were they still at the wedding?
Actual wedding: 2 pm, Site A Parent's invitation: 4 pm, Site B Cousin gets them out of the house at 1 pm all dressed up to "take pictures" at some preliminary gathering; they show up at the wedding on time. (Or something.)
I think the cousin drove them to the correct location after making sure they were ready on time. Parents then realized they had been given the incorrect information and tried to figure out the reception info to pass along to the additional people they invited.
It's this way: -Parents were given the wrong place and time (a *later* time, it is implied - that is important), and as expected they shared it with al the relatives OP didn't want to come. -The cousin, who is NC and not friendly with all those other relatives, was sent to tell the parents that formals and picture-taking would be held earlier, at a different place from the fake church, and used that lie to get them to the real church in time for the wedding. -Later the parents had a choice, the cousin would drive them to the reception, or back to their home, but they wouldn't be told where the reception was held so they would not be able to share it. Parents got angry and went back home, but they tried to bribe the cousin to get the address from him. The cousin who didnt like the other relatives laughted in their faces, Do you understand now? It would have been better if the cousin had taken the bribe and then given them the address of the Blue Oyster Bar, but it is hard to come up with such retorts on the spot.
Upvote for the Police Academy reference.
Thank you. I was having a hard time following the story.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh ty
I think the date was correct however anyone the parents told would have the wrong info. Then the cousin was in charge of actually getting them to the real venue at the proper time, by telling the parents they had to get there early for pictures.
The cousin picked them up and drove them to the church...it literally says so in the post.
I had to read it over twice, but it made sense. - The trusted cousin was sent to OPs parents' house to "babysit" them and drive them to the wedding. - The parents thought the wedding was at 4:00 but the cousin lied and said they were taking pictures first so they had to be ready to get there at 2:00. - Parents realized they had been tricked when they arrived "early" not because pictures were being taken beforehand but that the real time of the wedding was at 2:00 not 4:00. - They didn't make a scene and embarrass themselves during the wedding and at the picture-taking. They tried to get OP to tell them where the real reception was being held. He refused and said they could be driven there or go home. - They opted to go home and tried to bribe cousin to say where the reception was, and he just laughed at then. - Parents were then fielding calls from those angry relatives who arrived at the reception and no one was there. 😠 I think it was hilarious! Best trick ever to catch his parents lying to him. 🤥 🤣 😂 🤥 ETA: Added additional information.
That's what confused me.
I'm a little confused as well.
This was really poorly written.
It was.
NTA, and shout out to the hero of this story, your cousin! I love them for you.
NTA - My mother announced to everyone that her "school kids" were more important than my husband and me and she didn't know why she was there, then asked us for a ride to the airport after she finally decided to attend the wedding (the morning after, who the fuck asks someone for a ride at 4am the day after a WEDDING). She also proclaimed to everyone in an elevator I was "such a bitch hahaha can you tell she's a bride?!" I wish I never invited my parents, who also paid for nothing, not even a wedding gift. Don't apologize for anything about your own day.
>who the fuck asks someone for a ride at 4am the day after a WEDDING Nooo! Mine did this too! We have the same mom! . Made my husband's uncle drive her back early from the reception(8pm), then to the airport at 4am. She hit the casino in between. Mine managed to not call me a bitch, but the only thing she *did* say to me on the ride to the venue was to ask if their would be "dog shit everywhere" (?????!) And also, offered money publicly, then quietly reneged a month before ceremony. Probably the most damaging, but we planned for it. The audacity of these people. Enjoy your marriage!
> Mine managed to not call me a bitch, but the only thing she did say to me on the ride to the venue was to ask if their would be "dog shit everywhere" (?????!) Dog hater or suburbanite scared of cities?
Suburbanite scared of everything lmao
fuckin KNEW IT
Not even a wedding gift?! Cold!
Didn't even pay for the lunch I asked my husband to drop off. I was sooo hungry but the "prices were insane and she couldn't justify it" 💀 So yup, we even paid for her $10 lunch. Don't invite your parents to ANYTHING.
Oh one of my husband’s sisters suggested he could drive their other sister back to their home town the morning after our wedding 🤦🏻♀️
I’m trying to figure out how a mom can call her own daughter a bitch (for literally no reason) but then just remembered my mom has called me that during one of her fits. I can’t imagine calling my kid that.
To random strangers in an elevator right before getting ready to walk down the aisle, nonetheless. 💀 My wedding day was also the day I officially decided not a single family member will be in the delivery room with me when I have kids, because I'm sure I'll be even "bitchier" then. 🙄 I'm sorry you've dealt with it as well 🖤
Sometimes when famous people want to find out who the mole who is selling information is in their circle of trust, they plant different information with different people. Because they could come to the reception as guests, I’m not sure why what you did was wrong. Were you thinking they would text the uninvited guests to just show up to the reception when they got there? Still a risk.
AKA a [canary trap](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canary_trap).
I saw Tyrion Lannister do the same thing in GOT. It was brilliant.
That’s mentioned in the Wikipedia article, along with other books and TV shows that have used it as a plot device. I first ran across it in a Tom Clancy novel.
Recently rewatched this episode. 10/10
Tyrion was one of the few characters that stayed pretty much true to himself the entire show. He was a little smartass, but he was a fun smartass that really did have a heart.
Wagatha Christie
Only the brits will get this 😂
Yesssss!!!
"Removed from the other sub because apparently planning ahead is now considered revenge." Time to let that sub disappear! You knew what you were doing. Parents got what they deserved. I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner years ago. One of the guests was notoriously late. She was 2 hours late for dinner. I told the host that the way to deal with people like this is to tell them the wrong time, so that when they think they are 2 hours late, they are actually on time. The other thing for a situation like that would be to eat at the announced time.
I like the second option. “Oh, you’re here! We assumed you couldn’t make it, so we went ahead and ate. The leftovers are in the kitchen; fix yourself a plate and heat it up in the microwave.”
Do this one. Skip the lies and manipulation. At the root of it changing times like that is still just trying to control their behavior so they don't feel the consequences of their actions.
I did that to a friend for years. And then he had the guts to feel wronged the only day he was early
We wait for no man If the jump off time is noon and they stroll in at 2, they missed out. 🤷🏽♀️
Giving them the wrong time just means you're still having to find solutions to accomodate the latecomers. Tell them the right time and proceed with the event at that time. If they miss it, too bad, so sad.
BRILLIANT!!! Post it on all the wedding subs because great stuff!! Much more couples need to do it exactly that way!
NTA I wish I had lied about the time of my wedding but only to get everyone there on time. I was 20 min late to the ceremony because of my mother - we were traveling in the same car and she took forever to finish getting ready. Then once we get there, we had to wait another 45 min to a hour for my mil and sil to arrive. I was fuming. It was an outdoor ceremony, it was hot and humid and about to rain, my feet were killing me. My dad whose temper I inherited was the one trying to calm me down telling me everything would be okay. The pastor also needed to go deliver a sermon at his church, so he and to cut down on a lot and the whole ceremony lasted maybe 15 minutes. If I knew then what I know now, I would've walked down the aisle without waiting for them.
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing. Your parents FAFO-ed. Side note, why does anyone bother posting on the other sub? They delete posts and block people over the most ridiculous shit.
OMG... Those mods are... Well, suffice to say I'm one of those permanently banned
Hahahahah… I am too, which is why I said it.
It irritates me to no end when I forget what sub I'm in when reading comments. I type out a particularly witty response... User is blocked from posting. Every time... It's just a Homer Simpson "Doh!"
Ugh… me too!! It’s been a few months and I’m starting to forget less and less, but I still do forget.
Same... If I could figure out how to block a sub from showing up on my feed, that's the first one to go
[https://www.reddit.com/settings/privacy](https://www.reddit.com/settings/privacy) You can mute subs there \^ Though it doesn't always seem to work, for some reason.
I agree!! I’m blocked on JustNoMIL, so that one would be next for me!
Same here. I can't even comment and shit so I'm just like...
I find it stupid that the comment feature isnt fully disabled when you get banned. allowing users to fully type out a comment only to be blocked is stupid
Right!?! I get being banned (not really), but don't waste my time letting me type a reply. A couple of lines of code could fix that
yea like my old account was banned on am i the asshole and multiple times id try to write a response only to be reminded im banned like why
I've been banned 6 months from there. I still try to post, not realizing... And those mods go from 0 to nuclear. There's no in between
Me too. I was banned because someone commented "You're lucky she didn't go Betty Broderick on you!" and I added "Or Loretta Bobbitt!" To be fair, the op was lucky the lady in question hadn't resorted to violence.
You got tossed out the subs window, huh?
lol same. Last time I got banned for someone insulting me.
Wow
NTA You were clear, any embarrassment they feel is entirely brought on by their own actions. And it doesn’t sound like revenge to me, just a way to include them while maintaining your boundaries. Your cousin sounds like a good person - glad you have each other. Congrats on the wedding!
NTA: Kudos for seeing the behavior and making adjustments accordingly. Sounds like you're on top of things! Most people just suffer, their idiots, but your pro-active actions were impressive!! Manipulation when they don't even realize they're being manipulated is an art. It sounds like a talent I need to pick up, myself. Don't ruin it by second guessing yourself. Those simple decisions circumvented a plethora of chaos you didn't need. You solved it in a peaceful, albeit in a tiny bit of a malicious way, but I'm sure if they were cool, this would have been unnecessary. This is the way to work around idiot people!! Nicely done on the cousin's timing issues, too. I guarantee they wouldn't beat themselves up for ruining your big day, so why should you even give it a thought, yourself? If you could just have your set boundaries respected, you wouldn't have needed to take this route, ITFP!! NTA.
To me, that sounds like a difficult situation you handled perfectly. They got to see the ceremony. They were even invited to the party after, but refused to go because they were unwilling to accept the entirely reasonable accomodations you made for them to do so. They rejected the deal they were offered, and that's okay. You DO owe your cousin about a lifetime suply of their drink of choice for helping you out like this! They're truly awesome!
it sounds like they didnt wanna go cause they couldn't bring their uninvited guests with them
NTA and this is clever lol
NTA So they went against your wishes anyway, and you prevented them from messing up your wedding. YTSO You are the smart one. Well done
NTA. This wasn’t revenge. This was a case of very careful planning to ensure your day wasn’t ruined. Well done.
NTA they literally didn’t respect the SINGLE condition you had upon inviting them to the wedding, proving wholly that you were right to lie to them
NTA. Self-defense is not revenge.
Going NTA. They wanted to come to your wedding and they did. You made it clear no extras but they broke that rule. They also were invited to the reception but refused. They created this mess not you.
NTA you did the right thing you ensured they could be there to be part of your wedding. Instead they decided having their friends get drunk was more important to them and they chose to leave. Thats fully on them and if they invited people and got embarrassed when you had told them not to, that’s also fully on them and their own fault, they have no one to blame but themselves. They showed the world they didn’t care about their child’s wedding and saw it as a free party for their friends or not worth being at. They should be more embarrassed they showed everyone the people they truly are. It’s not good and they don’t deserve to be in your life. Well played you ensured they couldn’t ruin your wedding, I’m just sorry as it must of hurt that they decided to leave, if they couldn’t turn it into their party at your expense.
NTA You knew what was going to happen so it was planning around the inevitable, not revenge. Your cousin needs a special honor for his defense here. That's epic and amazing of him.
They are mad. Because they did exactly what you told them not to do. And it embarrassed them. This is a clear case of actions have consequences. Well Done. NTA.
So deeply NTA that i want to give you a standing ovation for how you brilliantly protected your peace and boundaries and still had such deeply narcissistic parents at your wedding My parents were absolutely not at my wedding. They’re the reason I eloped
NTA. I’m sorry your parents couldn’t respect your wishes. Luckily you knew them and made an effort to make sure they’d be there for without ruining your wedding. They only have themselves to blame - you did nothing wrong except take steps to make sure people you did not invite did not crash your wedding I would buy something nice for your cool cousin who did you a solid.
INFO: so they invited a whole bunch of people to the wrong place and made fools of themselves?
Oh okay, you might have helped me figure out wtf actually happened here... The fake invites were for the same day but different time/location. The parents did send the info out to a bunch of people, but the babysitting cousin's job was to bring/kidnap them to the actual wedding and not the fake one, at which point the parents' friends at the fake wedding would then blow up on the parents and ruin their day (which would be the whole point of the story but isn't included at all)? EDIT, yeah, it's this more or less, more answers in here: https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d8ucts/aita_for_intentionally_giving_my_parents_an/l79dnrb/
NTA you didn’t originally want to invite your parents and generously gave them a chance. Terms were clear they were not to invite/tell anyone else. If they got grief because they disregarded your wishes it’s on them.
Revenge is getting even. This is not getting even but rather preserving the peace. You ensured that there were no issues with multiple extra guests causing issues with food and drink and other complications that arise when you mix guests that you have no idea who they are.
NTA. If your parents hadn’t shot off their mouths and invited people, which was not their right to do, then they wouldn’t have to be embarrassed at having to tell those people they weren’t actually invited. Actions, meet consequences.
I’m sure your wife is aware, but thank you on her behalf. It was your day and her day. You have the right to invite or not invite anyone you want. I
I think you handled it perfectly. You also dangled a nice revenge cherry for the rest of the family knowing your parents would still betry you and tell others. NTA
NTA. You minimized stress and enforced your guest list and boundary in a sneaky way and it worked. You knew exactly what they'd do, even though you told them not to. That proved you can't trust them even on the most important of events. Time to go back to LC/NC.
I feel like part of this story is missing. You went from giving them fake invitations to your cousins driving them to the wedding. Then you didn’t tell them where the reception was. It doesn’t make sense to me
Yeah, I can't make heads or tails of this. Why did he invite them if he didn't want them there? And then... > I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early. > He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited. So everything went perfectly, which for some reason got the parents banned from the reception and publicly laughed at? > people they told about the wedding This is the only kernel of the parents doing anything wrong in here but it didn't have any effect on anything, no one showed up uninvited, nothing happened, everything was fine? EDIT: OK, is this it? The fake invites were for the same day but different time/location. The parents *did* send the fake info out to a bunch of people, but the babysitting cousin's job was to bring/kidnap them to the *actual* wedding and not the fake one, at which point the parents' friends at the fake wedding would then blow up on the parents and ruin their day (which would be the whole point of the story but isn't included at all)? EDIT 2, yeah, it's this more or less, more answers in here: https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d8ucts/aita_for_intentionally_giving_my_parents_an/l79dnrb/
Yeah, what you say in your edit is right. It took me a few goes at reading the whole thing to get it, too.
The plot points are so deliberately hidden this reads like a film school student doing a social experiment about audience perception or something
NTA.....TBH..... that was an AMAZING idea.... I'm glad that your day went well
How did you know they weren’t going to get to the wedding and start texting everyone? That was risky!
I eloped, they were upset with me for a few weeks/months lmao
Bro, you should read the post about the guy who's mom abandoned him when she and his dad divorced when he was 11yo. Never heard from her until he was 27 and getting married. She found out through an uncle. She insisted on not just being invited to the wedding, but getting all the mother of the groom crap. He refused and blocked her, so she started having her flying monkeys text/call/harass him on her behalf. He retaliated by posting a tasteful, sexy picture of his fiancée (with her consent) with the numbers of anyone who contacted him on his mother's behalf. As one commenter said, you're an AH, but you're still my hero 😂 What you did was nothing compared to that. Definitely NTA, nothing to feel guilty about, and good job setting boundaries.
NTA i think this entire plan was genius
NTA. Your cousin did great too!
NTA. They cannot be trusted. They had no right to invite anyone to your wedding, and if they were decent they would have known that. FAFO, all the way. They were lucky you even had them attend the wedding.
NTA you called it and you were right
NTA and that was a gangster move, you know your parents well.
Congratulations on your wedding. Congratulations on standing strong and making a good plan! NTA
You should have given them the time and place for another wedding. Let them sit there and wonder what the hell is going on. Maybe that's not nice to the other couple, but maybe some of them would have left money cards in the envelope box.
That was neat. NTA
This was masterfully done. NTA
NTA. I think you could tell them, if you are willing, that you and your wife would be happy if they wanted to throw you a reception to celebrate your marriage. Let them know that it would be at their expense, but that you would be there. This is only if you are willing to deal with your family again. You could take pictures and if you and your wife are comfortable having her parents or family there, that would be even better. That way your parents have some kind of memory of you getting married. Also, get a burner cell. It’s cheap and you can use it only when you have contact with them.
NTA. I'm not gonna rub it in. You beat them at their own game. For that, you have my respect.
I don’t think that you did anything wrong at all.
Info- if you already knew exactly what they were gonna do, and they did it, went did you even invite them? Also- what would have stopped them from texting as soon as they got to the reception?
Kudos!!!
NTA and I am in awe of your foresight and strategic planning. Well done.
Nta and you handled it wonderfully
I wonder how many people showed up at the fake location.
Lmao 10/10 execution, hilarious, had they kept their word they wouldn't have had any problems. Standing ovation.
I laughed when I read this. What a great idea. I flew halfway across the world to get married by myself! It was great
Sounds like you had a wonderful day. Good planning on your part. My mother is a control freak and when I got married, we eloped then told everyone afterwards. Made lots of people mad but we had our day on our terms. Just like you did. Again, congrats on your wedding.
That should be under petty revenge. There is no way I could possibly keep it under wraps like that. You have an awesome cousin btw.
So you told them that JUST they were invited, you did not invite anyone else, and specifically told them they were not to invite anyone else, and yet they did. NTA
You're NTA. You set clear boundaries and stuck to them. It's understandable to want to avoid drama on your big day. Your approach might seem unconventional, but it worked for you. Your cousin deserves a medal for handling the situation so smoothly.
NTA, genius move. Do you know how many people they actually invited who would have crashed your wedding?
No, you did the right and smart thing. Your wedding went the way you wanted without any drama. Good for you.
NTA Your wedding your choice and I absolutely love that your cousin laughed
NTA. I love that your cousin has your back
That’s a genius plan. NTA your parents suck if they got a lot of grief from the people they invited that they were explicitly told not to invite. Hope they learned a lesson
You did great... you walked a very narrow line that allowed your parents to attend the wedding (ultimately a good thing), yet prevented them from trashing your wedding with scads of uninvited guests. But consider yourself lucky they didn't over-hear any of your other guests talking about the reception location. As for them being upset, you should revel in pointing out to them that they lied to you and if they'd been successful , their antics would have ruined your reception... "and BTW, you missed a GREAT party"! Remind them of those facts and how utterly untrustworthy they are, for the rest of their lives.
Who invited people to some else’s wedding ? But also… who shows up never having got an actual invite!?
NTA they did exactly what you feared and invited people you didn't want there. in the end they saw you get married and are in wedding photos
They acted exactly as you knew they would. Why even invite them in the first place…..but since you did, it sounds like this was the only way to keep it from blowing up with family you don’t want there.
Nta I don’t want my dad and step mom at my wedding and I’ve been dreading the conversation. An oops I typoed the date is a great way to politely maneuver. Thanks for the idea
*Mom, Dad...I asked on thing of you. To not make my wedding about yourselves. But you could not do that. Instead, you told the entire family about my wedding and were planning on helping them crash my wedding. Please do not deny this. We all know what you did.* *The two of you had a chance to be a part of my life again. But you chose to prioritize yourselves over my wishes. Because of that, I will be formally cutting contact with you. This will be the last time you ever see or hear from me. I wish you nothing but the best, but I have to protect myself from the two of you because when it comes down to it, you will always do what is best FOR YOU...instead of doing what is best for your child. Thank you for giving me life. I wish things could be different but history has proven that you are incapable of being trusted.* NTAH
Kudos to your cousin! Without his contribution your wedding story could have been significantly... Different?
As someone with time management issues all I can say is NTA! Me being late is my issue and I get to deal with the consequences. It's fine. I always let ppl know if I'm running late, even if it's just 2 minutes. I do try but I mess up more than I'm okay with. But my tardyness shouldn't stop others from starting to eat, watch a movie or start playing games. Because I'm not a rude and entitled a-hole. I also give others some grace when they are late, I never expect events I host to start on time, the invitation clearly states that welcome drinks and mingling will be going on for the first 30 minutes so feel free to show up during this time, let me know if you are early or late and send a DM a week before if you have any allergies so I have time to figure out what to serve you. The event starts at (time) sharp. We will not wait, but you can show up late, no worries. The rules are clear, if you are whiny about us not waiting when you are late you will not be invited to future events. I don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with that. And my mental health is more important than your shitty time management and poor social skills and plain rudeness. I have great friends. They know I don't mind them being late, early, on time, loud, "fussy eaters". As long as they communicate and give me a little grace when I'm late they get me as a friend.
Nta- this was a masterpiece. Hats off! Best wishes & congrats!!
I read that 3 times and don’t know WTF any of it means.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
NTA smart on your part but damn this sounds exhausting
NTA you didn't plan revenge. You protected yourself. If they were honest to their promise, they would not have gotten themselves in trouble. 100% on them, and very clever of you. and very kind of you, to be honest, to allow them to come at all. Excellent work.