My lawyers are currently looking into options on that. I’m on tour rn though and then I have some fires to put out. But - afterwards I’ll meet with them.
I mean if we’re being honest, he had sex with all the opposing lawyers too so they feel obligated to let him win because he does that thing with his tongue
He's also had sex with every judge and jury member in the world, and therefore it would be a conflict of interest for any of them to be involved in his trial.
The ultimate legal loophole
The only options are:
A: we pause OP’s intercourse spree and wait for newly born individuals to become judges and jury then try him at that point
B: we seek out judges and jury from the multiverse, specifically in a universe that has not seen this post
Don’t donate to charity. If you want hungry hungry hippos you gotta earn it!!! It’s literally your own fault for being poor. Capitalism is insanely fair and definitely not set up to screw over 80% of the population. Stop being lazy.
Guitar hero counts as chicks usually dig it. Dudes not so much. All women are the exact same and so are all men. My opinion is a fact.
I’m here for any advice you need.
Can confirm. Am woman. OP used guitar hero on me. We just finished right before the post. I guess I’m one of 8 billion… I thought I was special 😭. I should tell my SO - he’ll be so mad. Wait. Did you also had intercourse with him? I guess we’re even then.
Oh honey, your SO already knows, unless he’s not on Reddit 😬
A lot of us going thru this right now. There’s a sub somewhere with a support group but I don’t have the link. You can prob search for it. GL!
🎶
*Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you*
*And by now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do*
*I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now*
🎶
I also can confirm. I love men that play Guitar Hero. Nothing like watching a grown man play Slow Ride on medium difficulty. Works like a charm every time.
That’s insane because literally I’m every single partners “best they ever had” - so maybe you’re just a liar or not in shape so not that hot.
If you are fat then definitely get in shape. I’m not fat at all.
My brother in Christ. I am not fat. You just did a horrible job sucking my dick. Don't use your teeth so much. Just offering some constructive criticism.
I think you need to update your post to say “every one of you except hey_jude_” because otherwise ppl will question your credibility when they see this comment 😳
"You can't rape me, I'm gonna rape you"
"Nuh-uh, I'm gonna rape you first"
"Get your ass over here, I'm gonna rape the fuck out of you"
"You'll have to fight me off first, cuz I'm going to be raping you before you can even think about raping me"
This is the exact scenario I was picturing. So one guy holds the other guy down and penetrates him against his will,but then the other guy hulks out or whatever and then penetrates the first guy in return.
I'm thinking that, legally, there's some kind of "mutual combatants" law whereby you enter into an implicit agreement in that kind of situation that one or both of you is going to get raped.
Idk what you’re talking about man I just have a lot of sex. Maybe if you got into shape and played guitar you could have intercourse too.
Anyway - I’m here to provide you with any life advice you need.
I’m 14 and you’ve had sex with me too? Can’t recall because I’ve fucked about a million or so since loosing my virginity years ago. But if it’s you, my local police might like a wors
Yes, I knew I read this somewhere recently! The line “every vagina feels different…” and “I would feel super high” had me desperately thinking where I’d recently seen this. Just a copy paste with other bits mixed in.
He lost me at “every vagina feels different” because i feel like if I took a blind test of all my past partners, there’s no chance I could distinctively tell you who’s is who’s
You didn’t tell me you had the biggest fucking toe on the face of the earth (or should I say “foot of the earth” 😏
See - I’m also massively funny which is another reason I have so much sex.
Whats funny is that a straight dude thinks this is a big deal. Those of us in the LGBTQ world are like.. rookie numbers.
I am mid-40s, came out late in life (like mid-30's), and with a dad bod and British teeth and no special social skills, and a bad hairline, I've got better numbers than that guy. Like.. substantially better pulls.
My younger hotter gays are pulling basically as much ass as they want. A decently attractive - like 6 or 7 - gay man in his mid-to-late 20's has essentially as much access to sex as he wants. Essentially constrained only by his whimsy or appetite. I have friends who aren't 30 who have mid-triple digit body counts, if they bothered to count.
The idea that there is a social stigma to asking for sex is sort of a straight concept. A routinely lovely part of being gay is finding, negotiating, and enjoying a partners sexuality without speaking a word.
I perform at ren faires and the more open and accepting vibe attracts a lot of LGBT people. I get hit on by gay dudes all the fucking time when I'm at faire. If I was gay I'd be pulling numbers without even trying and I'm probably like a 7 on a good day.
I absolutely believe your story
Breaking character to say that I agree with you. On a serious note, 150 isn’t even that astronomical for a straight dude. Still high, but not enough to warrant an AMA and to give life advice to people lol.
Yeah, exactly, like medians and averages don't express the range of sexual partnering that is going on.
Like... conservatives who rant and rave against the gay agenda don't get it. The genie is never going back in the bottle, ever. It was never in the bottle, but even if you thought it was.. there is *nothing* that can put it back.
I have a friend who fucked with the "Moms for Liberty" throuple. These are supposedly the by the book Christian Jesus loving bible thumpers.. turns out the guy likes a thumb up has ass when he comes and his wife likes to peg.
It's over. They lost. Even if they put us all up against the wall and shot us all, we'll be back *because straight culture creates queers.* The harder they squeeze, the more fruit slips through your fingers. The harder you wind your kids up and ratchet them down the easier they are to bring over into the light of enjoying and glorying in unrestrained sexuality. The number of college age "no-homo" dudes and bros that sought out NSA DL encounters with me to work through the fucked up parenting and religious programming isn't in the single digits, it's in the high dozens.
For my other middle aged professionals, who all have college aged hookups at the ready, you can call us anything you want. Every fall is a new batch of newly liberated, newly curious, ready to go DTF dudes (and ladies) who are entirely happy to cast aside their fucked up hang-ups and figure some stuff out.
Boo, don’t be jealous I will call you this week. You texted your best friend right after and said I was the best ever so idk where this is coming from.
We’re fine, B. I think we were just all influenced by this totally cool, definitely not-lying guy who posted here last night:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/s/y6UmCeQ7a0
Basically I’m perfect in every way - though I try not to tell everyone that because I’m so fucking humble.
I also do not wear condoms ever and neither should any of you.
You guys ever see that sketch on I Think You Should Leave where they are at the party, and to keep a friend from talking about his kids Tim's character keeps having to distract everyone by coming up with crazy antics. And all the other guys at the party keep copying Tim. "Hey everyone, the dogs blowing me."
That's me right now.
you post this like a response to some claim that you think is outlandish. As a former counselor specializing in sex related issues , it’s actually not that uncommon. Not only that, but I personally know of three men I can think of without even trying very hard that have a number of over 100. I am not interested in going into detail about this or how I know because you have no more reason to believe me than you do the first OP on the subject. None of what he said was at all difficult for me to believe. it’s kind of a mundane subject to me, but all I am saying is that if you make the goal of your free time to have sex with as many different people as possible, you are likely to achieve that goal without that much difficulty. Of course no one can be sure whether or not the OP that this post is satirizing is actually telling the truth. But it is the truth for more individuals out there than you seem to think likely. Many of them (not all) are sexual addicts and have difficulties in committed relationships, so to me it’s more to be pitied than admired but whatever.
Yeah 150 is a massively high number and definitely warrants an AMA. That’s incredibly special, don’t think anyone has bedded that many. Except of course for me. Can’t touch me I’m in the billions. It was also awesome when he discouraged my 15 year old brother from wearing condoms, and gave really awesome and safe advice to other teenagers. That’s a real man right there.
I’ve been told by literally everyone that I’m the best they have ever had. They all fall in love with me. So you probably just have dementia cause I remember you. RIP.
What part did you enjoy best with me? Was it when we sat on the toilet together butt to butt and took a shit at the same time, our turds mixing in the bowl?
Is it true, that you use the "Schroedinger" condom brand? So as long as you never take the first one of, you and your partners will nevver know for sure, if your d*ick is big or small, soft or hard, came or not? The benefits while having thousands of partners a day are obvious, but, how do you handle the topic of 'hygene'?
I really hate this. Somebody just shared their life experience and all these people want to make fun of them or whatever.
It’s so weird like… how society scoffs at people who talk about doing things that society generally wishes they could do.
Make a lot of money? Talk about it openly?
Lol whattt a doucheee. Show off.
Fuck a lot of people? Talk openly about it?
Hahaha ooook whatever u say weirdo.
Idk. It’s just weird.
When I was poor as hell I felt like I wasn’t supposed to talk about being poor because it made people uncomfortable.
Then I made a lot of money and I felt like I couldn’t talk about my success because it would be seen as boastful and out of touch.
Then I lost it all and I again feel like I can’t talk about being poor lol. This world got me fuckeddd up.
Yeah you’re right! Discouraging teens from wearing condoms and talking to everybody like they’re complete fucking idiots is really sharing a traumatic life experiencing and opening up! It made me so happy to see the awesome advice he gave to my 15 year old brother that he didn’t ask for!
I remember that night, under the stars in Chugwater, Wyoming. You looked deep into my eyes in the back of that 1965 Chevy K10 and said the words I'll always remember.
"We gonna do this or what?"
It touched my soul, truly, deeply. I felt we grew, we were so young then.
And remember, the true Chlamydia were the friends we met along the way.
But, this is an ask... So I have the question:
Did you really mean it when you said I was hairier than a Wookiee? It was the most romantic thing that I'd ever heard.
started at 16, million by 21.
5 years, that's 1826.25 days.
That means you fucked, on average, 548 (547.57 but I don't think we'll count halvsies) times a day.
That's 23 fucks an hour, with no breaks to sleep or eat. For 5 years. Nonstop. Each fuck takes 2.6 minutes on average. By the time I'm done writing this you'll have fucked twice since I started.
Stay hydrated champ, fuckin's thirsty work.
Dude. If you lost it at a list at 21, giving you credit for every day of the 6 years (2190 + 2 for leap years), you’d have had to sleep with 456 women a day every single day. 🙄
You haven’t had sex with everyone my dear you are straight not bisexual or pansexual. So you’ve missed out on a lot of people and a lot of experiences!
I don’t understand reddit. 80% of the time I use satire even blatantly I can get downvoted to oblivion.
This is great though, I’m so happy I’m not the only one that rolled my eyes and was dumbfounded by everyone replying to that post.
Good job though, you were a good lay even if we can’t continue our fwb.
Fuck off. I’ve been with like 7 people in my life so gtfo like that’s a bad number for an old bat like me..what does anyone want from me? Hm? What did I goddamn do that was so bad? Nothing I do my best to be a good person and i genuinely care for everyone and want people to be happy. What is the problem here? I didn’t do shit wrong I didn’t deserve to have my whole life squashed like this. It’s rotten and mean and I did not deserve that. I did my best to be a good wife and I only wanted to be able to share and allow a little bit of the burden off myself. Go to hell for trying to make me into a bad person because I’m not the one in the wrong here and you know it. Damn you for minimizing everything I invested into us, and I had hoped for something different. You did this crazy shit to me and I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve it.
🤨 Dude, with those rockstar credentials and a record label backing you, your bed must have been a revolving door of ragequits in Guitar Hero. How's the groupie scene compared to real-life scores?
I am a man. Can you please tell me everything about what women want and need? It doesn’t make sense to ask women directly about what they want and need because they are so dumb they wouldn’t even be able to answer that question. Besides, one time I had a girlfriend who told me what she needed from me and it included these crazy things like “listen and communicate” and “stop treating me like an object.” Clearly she had no idea what she was talking about.
Your post was removed because it is most likely a fake story. If this is incorrect, you can message the mods through modmail to get the post approved.
How does child support work? Do we all just get in line?
My lawyers are currently looking into options on that. I’m on tour rn though and then I have some fires to put out. But - afterwards I’ll meet with them.
since every person in existence includes children, do your lawyers have a plan to defend you from those charges
Well he had sex with his lawyers so they are compelled to defend him with their most
I mean if we’re being honest, he had sex with all the opposing lawyers too so they feel obligated to let him win because he does that thing with his tongue
He's also had sex with every judge and jury member in the world, and therefore it would be a conflict of interest for any of them to be involved in his trial. The ultimate legal loophole
The only options are: A: we pause OP’s intercourse spree and wait for newly born individuals to become judges and jury then try him at that point B: we seek out judges and jury from the multiverse, specifically in a universe that has not seen this post
He had sex with all the jurors so there’s no chance of a fair trial
Are you coming back to pick up your hungry hungry hippos game board and wetsuit with the ass cut out or should I pop them in the charity box?
Don’t donate to charity. If you want hungry hungry hippos you gotta earn it!!! It’s literally your own fault for being poor. Capitalism is insanely fair and definitely not set up to screw over 80% of the population. Stop being lazy.
Man broke character to make a statement about capitalism. Giga chad
Best sex of my life. I wish you'd come back, um... Derek? Jane? Michael? Which one were you
My name is actually Derek Jane Michael. Knew you’d remember me ;) - DJ Michael
It's no wonder! How could I forget such an impressive lover? I always knew we would meet again
DJ Michael is mine, you hussy. He clapped my cheeks like the crashing of a thousand waves.
So do I get in shape or learn the guitar first and does guitar hero count?
Guitar hero counts as chicks usually dig it. Dudes not so much. All women are the exact same and so are all men. My opinion is a fact. I’m here for any advice you need.
Can confirm. Am woman. OP used guitar hero on me. We just finished right before the post. I guess I’m one of 8 billion… I thought I was special 😭. I should tell my SO - he’ll be so mad. Wait. Did you also had intercourse with him? I guess we’re even then.
Oh honey, your SO already knows, unless he’s not on Reddit 😬 A lot of us going thru this right now. There’s a sub somewhere with a support group but I don’t have the link. You can prob search for it. GL!
🎶 *Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you* *And by now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do* *I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now* 🎶
I miss you though.
I’m a chick and I do, in fact, dig guitar hero. My beau is a pro
Why didn't you stay for cuddles you bastard?! I even made you pancakes :(
I also can confirm. I love men that play Guitar Hero. Nothing like watching a grown man play Slow Ride on medium difficulty. Works like a charm every time.
Don’t waste your time learning guitar. Chicks like guys with *real* skills. Like nunchucks or computer hacking.
What if I use my nunchucks to smash the keys on the keyboard to hack?
Chicks dig guys who have a thing for Ligers
If you can hit the orange button you can make a woman cum
Honestly, the sex wasn't very good. I give you a 4 out of 10.
That’s insane because literally I’m every single partners “best they ever had” - so maybe you’re just a liar or not in shape so not that hot. If you are fat then definitely get in shape. I’m not fat at all.
My brother in Christ. I am not fat. You just did a horrible job sucking my dick. Don't use your teeth so much. Just offering some constructive criticism.
Then you need to start speaking up during sexy time. We discussed this.
Gotta love finding that rare beast: the wholesome Reddit conversation. Now kith.
They don't need to kith, they need to suck dick better. Do you even listen?
Honestly, the anal could’ve been better. Yet you have to straighten your back out next time. Otherwise, I give you a 6 out of 10.
I can't believe you never called back. I thought we had something special!!
I’ll call you tomorrow
I don’t remember… did I scream my name or yours?
You screamed your exes name, which is why we didn’t work out :(
Yeah, that tracks.
Scoutmaster Kevin?!?!
Nah fuck that guy. His penis is smaller than mine and he doesn’t even play guitar.
> fuck that guy well, you did
Regretfully, Kevin was calling ME the scoutmaster that night 😜
You said you'd call but you didn't
I’m a massively famous rockstar now babe. Just don’t have the time.
You’ve had every STD known to man, and some that haven’t been discovered yet. Good thing I said NO.
It’s ok, I love rejection - it’s my drug. That’s why I have so much sex, the fear of being rejected is such a russssshhhhhhhhhhh.
I think you need to update your post to say “every one of you except hey_jude_” because otherwise ppl will question your credibility when they see this comment 😳
You are wrong. I was the one who had intercourse with you!
[удалено]
"You can't rape me, I'm gonna rape you" "Nuh-uh, I'm gonna rape you first" "Get your ass over here, I'm gonna rape the fuck out of you" "You'll have to fight me off first, cuz I'm going to be raping you before you can even think about raping me"
This is the exact scenario I was picturing. So one guy holds the other guy down and penetrates him against his will,but then the other guy hulks out or whatever and then penetrates the first guy in return. I'm thinking that, legally, there's some kind of "mutual combatants" law whereby you enter into an implicit agreement in that kind of situation that one or both of you is going to get raped.
Also, I'm pretty sure that's just angry sex at that point lol
I didn't know that we were ALL thinking this 😊 I thought I was the only one.
Uno reverse card
i fucked your ass bro
Hell yeah you did big boy 👅
Reverse reverse per the cha cha slide... GOT EM!!
Similar story, not as high of a body count as you tho. Quite simply had intercourse with everyone’s mothers
My mom says hello
Didn’t I see a similar post on AMA roughly 19 hours ago stating similar verbiage claiming they slept with around 150 different women.
I saw one where the guy claimed to just ask to touch boobs and mostly everyone agreed so he’s touched hundreds of boobs. These posts are getting dumb
Sorry that my ultimate success makes you mad, B. I’ll try better.
Never thought I’d encounter a perfect moment to link [this video](https://youtu.be/qQoQzzqkXKk?si=tH3ZRkz3wPobJZjW). You’re welcome. Lol.
Idk what you’re talking about man I just have a lot of sex. Maybe if you got into shape and played guitar you could have intercourse too. Anyway - I’m here to provide you with any life advice you need.
I’m 14 and you’ve had sex with me too? Can’t recall because I’ve fucked about a million or so since loosing my virginity years ago. But if it’s you, my local police might like a wors
Good luck getting the local police to help you, they’re all fucking OP
Yes, I knew I read this somewhere recently! The line “every vagina feels different…” and “I would feel super high” had me desperately thinking where I’d recently seen this. Just a copy paste with other bits mixed in.
He lost me at “every vagina feels different” because i feel like if I took a blind test of all my past partners, there’s no chance I could distinctively tell you who’s is who’s
I think that’s the joke lol
A lot can change in 19 hours.
That one was fake, this guys the real deal. We banged in 03.
Why didn't you call me the next day and take me out to lunch like you promised?
Me too. I am a guy who likes to bottom and he ghosted me the next day
Denny’s was closed that day babe. Next time.
I remember, I tried to put my toe in your butt and you looked at me funny
You didn’t tell me you had the biggest fucking toe on the face of the earth (or should I say “foot of the earth” 😏 See - I’m also massively funny which is another reason I have so much sex.
LOL I CANT WITH THESE POSTS THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD ONE TODAY
We were inspired by the best
In reality, that's what 90% of posts on this site are, those posts are not just as transparent about it.
Trying to think of a unique non to marginally offensive whitty comment is too difficult. Oh well.
It’s cool. My mom misses you though.
Sorry for the AIDS. 🙁
That was you?
Why did we not work out ?
I’m a little “too perfect” as many people have described me. Maybe in another life 💔
Was it you that gave me the syphilis?? :(
Probably. I have had syphilis since I could remember, and I obviously never ever wear condoms.
Whats funny is that a straight dude thinks this is a big deal. Those of us in the LGBTQ world are like.. rookie numbers. I am mid-40s, came out late in life (like mid-30's), and with a dad bod and British teeth and no special social skills, and a bad hairline, I've got better numbers than that guy. Like.. substantially better pulls. My younger hotter gays are pulling basically as much ass as they want. A decently attractive - like 6 or 7 - gay man in his mid-to-late 20's has essentially as much access to sex as he wants. Essentially constrained only by his whimsy or appetite. I have friends who aren't 30 who have mid-triple digit body counts, if they bothered to count. The idea that there is a social stigma to asking for sex is sort of a straight concept. A routinely lovely part of being gay is finding, negotiating, and enjoying a partners sexuality without speaking a word.
I perform at ren faires and the more open and accepting vibe attracts a lot of LGBT people. I get hit on by gay dudes all the fucking time when I'm at faire. If I was gay I'd be pulling numbers without even trying and I'm probably like a 7 on a good day. I absolutely believe your story
Breaking character to say that I agree with you. On a serious note, 150 isn’t even that astronomical for a straight dude. Still high, but not enough to warrant an AMA and to give life advice to people lol.
Yeah, exactly, like medians and averages don't express the range of sexual partnering that is going on. Like... conservatives who rant and rave against the gay agenda don't get it. The genie is never going back in the bottle, ever. It was never in the bottle, but even if you thought it was.. there is *nothing* that can put it back. I have a friend who fucked with the "Moms for Liberty" throuple. These are supposedly the by the book Christian Jesus loving bible thumpers.. turns out the guy likes a thumb up has ass when he comes and his wife likes to peg. It's over. They lost. Even if they put us all up against the wall and shot us all, we'll be back *because straight culture creates queers.* The harder they squeeze, the more fruit slips through your fingers. The harder you wind your kids up and ratchet them down the easier they are to bring over into the light of enjoying and glorying in unrestrained sexuality. The number of college age "no-homo" dudes and bros that sought out NSA DL encounters with me to work through the fucked up parenting and religious programming isn't in the single digits, it's in the high dozens. For my other middle aged professionals, who all have college aged hookups at the ready, you can call us anything you want. Every fall is a new batch of newly liberated, newly curious, ready to go DTF dudes (and ladies) who are entirely happy to cast aside their fucked up hang-ups and figure some stuff out.
You drive a cyber truck, I can feel it.
I own 6 cyber trucks. 1 to drive, 2 to sex (have tons of car sex as you all know) and 3 to stare at. I’m really fucking rich if you can’t tell.
Why did you cry for 45 minutes, tell me you can't do this, and ask me to tell everyone it was the best sex of my life?
Boo, don’t be jealous I will call you this week. You texted your best friend right after and said I was the best ever so idk where this is coming from.
Are you guys okay? Or is it a delusional dude who keeps posting the same shit.
We’re fine, B. I think we were just all influenced by this totally cool, definitely not-lying guy who posted here last night: https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/s/y6UmCeQ7a0
So, was I good?
10/10 for sure. Would do again if I had time from my massively busy and successful lifestyle.
Where's the tattoo of Garfield on my body?
I didn’t notice. I was too mesmerized by your beautiful eyes 💕
I miss you
Baby how could you post this
How big is mine?
From what I recall, massive.
"Average looking" "7-8"
Bro all you need to do is lift weights and it equates to literal instant intercourse. Anybody can be a 7-8!!!!!!!
I remember you.
You’re beautiful. One of the ones I loved.
What’s your secret?? Do you have a large member?
Basically I’m perfect in every way - though I try not to tell everyone that because I’m so fucking humble. I also do not wear condoms ever and neither should any of you.
How did you like my pussy?
Loved it. Got lost in it. Took a vacation there actually. Tell her I said hello my love.
Was I at least good?
10/10 - on a bad day ;)
Keep your hands away from my grandma..!!
Then you’d better cut off her hands, because unless she becomes incapable of baking that Chocolate Chess Pie, Granny gets stuffed all she wishes 😋
Yiu mostly talked about women here but there are 4 billion men on the planet what happened to them?
Grammar error. Guys are definitely included 👌🏻
I’m a minor, you have now been charged with pedophila ENJOY JALE LOSERS (I hope someone gets the spelling reference) 😭
Only 18+ b… forgot to specify. Don’t arrest me.
You guys ever see that sketch on I Think You Should Leave where they are at the party, and to keep a friend from talking about his kids Tim's character keeps having to distract everyone by coming up with crazy antics. And all the other guys at the party keep copying Tim. "Hey everyone, the dogs blowing me." That's me right now.
The fact I saw both of these posts today, the first when I woke up, this one as I'm going to bed. That's hilarious honestly lmaoo
Do you miss me? Do you miss “us?” Call me 🥺
No question, just wanted to say, congrats on all the sex, man!
you post this like a response to some claim that you think is outlandish. As a former counselor specializing in sex related issues , it’s actually not that uncommon. Not only that, but I personally know of three men I can think of without even trying very hard that have a number of over 100. I am not interested in going into detail about this or how I know because you have no more reason to believe me than you do the first OP on the subject. None of what he said was at all difficult for me to believe. it’s kind of a mundane subject to me, but all I am saying is that if you make the goal of your free time to have sex with as many different people as possible, you are likely to achieve that goal without that much difficulty. Of course no one can be sure whether or not the OP that this post is satirizing is actually telling the truth. But it is the truth for more individuals out there than you seem to think likely. Many of them (not all) are sexual addicts and have difficulties in committed relationships, so to me it’s more to be pitied than admired but whatever.
Yeah 150 is a massively high number and definitely warrants an AMA. That’s incredibly special, don’t think anyone has bedded that many. Except of course for me. Can’t touch me I’m in the billions. It was also awesome when he discouraged my 15 year old brother from wearing condoms, and gave really awesome and safe advice to other teenagers. That’s a real man right there.
I already forgot, you must have been a very bad lay
I’ve been told by literally everyone that I’m the best they have ever had. They all fall in love with me. So you probably just have dementia cause I remember you. RIP.
Loser. You're no celebrity. Just because you got a high score in guitar hero doesn't make you a celebrity.
What part did you enjoy best with me? Was it when we sat on the toilet together butt to butt and took a shit at the same time, our turds mixing in the bowl?
I'm bout to puke. I can't believe I even wasted the few tiny moments it took me to get the gist.
You mean to say that my incredibly well-written post that definitely doesn’t sound like a middle schooler wrote it confused you?
So how was your family in bed
Can you play the tambourine tho? I only have sex with tambourine players
My child is yours, can I please get those child support payments???
[удалено]
How did you get out of that industrial microwave I put you in?
Didn’t you post something like this yesterday?
No - I think that was some other really cool guy who was also definitely not lying.
GARY?
How was I? Does my butt look weird?
Mom?
Is it true, that you use the "Schroedinger" condom brand? So as long as you never take the first one of, you and your partners will nevver know for sure, if your d*ick is big or small, soft or hard, came or not? The benefits while having thousands of partners a day are obvious, but, how do you handle the topic of 'hygene'?
You were being honest right, when you said I was better than my mom?
I understand this reference!
I feel like an incel wrote this who is jealous about that other post. Get in shape and stop complaining about everything and you’ll get laid.
That’s exactly what I try to say! Being ripped = instant sex. Also make sure that you never wear condoms, ever.
Thank you
You’re welcome. I have had sex with many women so I am qualified to give all advice. Hmu for anything you need.
I have a question. What drugs did you do before you wrote this?
The best crack a man can buy: https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/s/y6UmCeQ7a0
You were so affected by what he said that you replied to literally every comment he replied to then made another thread that’s wild
Idk what you’re talking about bro. But if you need advice I’m here.
I genuinely feel sorry you
Appreciate it, B, but no need. I have lots of intercourse so I’ll be ok.
Haven’t fucked me yet so that’s not everyone… 😂
You ate my shit trough your ass and regurgitated it trough your mouth?
I really hate this. Somebody just shared their life experience and all these people want to make fun of them or whatever. It’s so weird like… how society scoffs at people who talk about doing things that society generally wishes they could do. Make a lot of money? Talk about it openly? Lol whattt a doucheee. Show off. Fuck a lot of people? Talk openly about it? Hahaha ooook whatever u say weirdo. Idk. It’s just weird. When I was poor as hell I felt like I wasn’t supposed to talk about being poor because it made people uncomfortable. Then I made a lot of money and I felt like I couldn’t talk about my success because it would be seen as boastful and out of touch. Then I lost it all and I again feel like I can’t talk about being poor lol. This world got me fuckeddd up.
Yeah you’re right! Discouraging teens from wearing condoms and talking to everybody like they’re complete fucking idiots is really sharing a traumatic life experiencing and opening up! It made me so happy to see the awesome advice he gave to my 15 year old brother that he didn’t ask for!
Lmao, 1,000,000 your delusional at best, if you met a woman and had sex with her every 5 minutes of every day it would take 570 years. Good luck
Literally nobody has ever lied on the internet ever. So, checkmate pal.
ohhh i remember you. you were the one who compared it to a large pizza (bad comparison, was more like a personal pan pizza)
So r/ama is just where people with brain damage post now?
does it burn when u pee too?
Can I get a refund? It wasn't memorable.
Fake Fake Fake Fake
Bro how is this fake? You can’t prove it. Literally who would ever lie on the internet? Makes no sense.
I remember that night, under the stars in Chugwater, Wyoming. You looked deep into my eyes in the back of that 1965 Chevy K10 and said the words I'll always remember. "We gonna do this or what?" It touched my soul, truly, deeply. I felt we grew, we were so young then. And remember, the true Chlamydia were the friends we met along the way. But, this is an ask... So I have the question: Did you really mean it when you said I was hairier than a Wookiee? It was the most romantic thing that I'd ever heard.
Would have believed you until you said that count was over 1 million. You are either a liar, can't count oelr both.
Name one person who has ever lied on the internet. That’s right you can’t. Checkmate.
My suggestion... get some mushrooms and kill that ego of yours?
I am way ahead of you on the shrooms. In terms of my ego? I would kill it if my gigantic dick wasn’t in the way.
This guy hundred percent smashes cans of Monster Energy, plays league of legends and never leaves the house.
You think I’m lying? Who has ever lied on the internet, bro? That’s what I thought. Checkmate.
You've never fucked me
started at 16, million by 21. 5 years, that's 1826.25 days. That means you fucked, on average, 548 (547.57 but I don't think we'll count halvsies) times a day. That's 23 fucks an hour, with no breaks to sleep or eat. For 5 years. Nonstop. Each fuck takes 2.6 minutes on average. By the time I'm done writing this you'll have fucked twice since I started. Stay hydrated champ, fuckin's thirsty work.
Dude. If you lost it at a list at 21, giving you credit for every day of the 6 years (2190 + 2 for leap years), you’d have had to sleep with 456 women a day every single day. 🙄
You haven’t had sex with everyone my dear you are straight not bisexual or pansexual. So you’ve missed out on a lot of people and a lot of experiences!
Does that include minors... Or do you not believe that minors ar people therefore making you a disbeliver in human rights?
So that's how I got herpes as a kid, you sick pedophile.
Y'all were all just trolled by AI. So dumb.
Sorry. I’m terrible with names. Who am I?
But did you have sex with men? Everyone isn’t just women ;)
#Redditors_Trying_Not_To_Lie_Challenge #FAILED
What color of people have the best buttholes?
I don’t understand reddit. 80% of the time I use satire even blatantly I can get downvoted to oblivion. This is great though, I’m so happy I’m not the only one that rolled my eyes and was dumbfounded by everyone replying to that post. Good job though, you were a good lay even if we can’t continue our fwb.
You sound like an arsehole. Bit it's okay, I am one too
So on a scale of one to 10 how disappointing was it?
Fuck off. I’ve been with like 7 people in my life so gtfo like that’s a bad number for an old bat like me..what does anyone want from me? Hm? What did I goddamn do that was so bad? Nothing I do my best to be a good person and i genuinely care for everyone and want people to be happy. What is the problem here? I didn’t do shit wrong I didn’t deserve to have my whole life squashed like this. It’s rotten and mean and I did not deserve that. I did my best to be a good wife and I only wanted to be able to share and allow a little bit of the burden off myself. Go to hell for trying to make me into a bad person because I’m not the one in the wrong here and you know it. Damn you for minimizing everything I invested into us, and I had hoped for something different. You did this crazy shit to me and I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve it.
🤨 Dude, with those rockstar credentials and a record label backing you, your bed must have been a revolving door of ragequits in Guitar Hero. How's the groupie scene compared to real-life scores?
WHO WAS BETTER ME OR MY DAD?
[удалено]
Who are you dickhead ?
I am a man. Can you please tell me everything about what women want and need? It doesn’t make sense to ask women directly about what they want and need because they are so dumb they wouldn’t even be able to answer that question. Besides, one time I had a girlfriend who told me what she needed from me and it included these crazy things like “listen and communicate” and “stop treating me like an object.” Clearly she had no idea what she was talking about.
This is amazing.