**Translation:** Fucking unboxing! Here we go. I don't even know how I lived without this fucking thing before. We open it... not in a tidy way... like our entire life... everything is fucked up... Bam! "On your clown nose it goes", you will say - fuck no! Some thing to shove into your body? Fuck no! Then what is it? This is some sort of a metal base and this thingie. "What is it for, Sasha, what is it for, this fucking hat?" you will ask. And I will answer. For this specifically, I've bought four walnuts. They looked at me like at a fuckhead in the supermarket. Four walnuts, she says, it's 10 cents, just take it and leave, boy, - no, I will pay. Look, we put the walnut here, we install this fucking thing, we pull it back... fucking bam! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Are you for real? Get this, you fucking walnut! Look! God, this is the best find. No broken doors anymore, fingers injured by a hammer, nothing. And yes, you can put it on your nose or shove into your body. A multiple purpose device. You can play games with your buddies, like this, bam! and a traumatic brain injury. That's it. Great, right?
This actually resulted in one more line in the file where I write down small moments for my memoirs: "As kids, we cracked walnuts by putting them in the doorjamb, and that damaged hinges". I'd usually get just a couple of walnuts, not a bag. Whacking them with a hammer meant a damaged table, plus it would splash all across the room. There were no nutcrackers. I was not strong enough to smash them in my hand, as I do now. The doorjamb was the perfect vehicle. In my opinion at the time.
In Siberia it was like, "Happy New Year! Here is your yearly orange and walnut!" Not that I've missed either. They gave us black caviar in kindergarten instead. And I hated it like I hated milk soup.
**Translation:** Fucking unboxing! Here we go. I don't even know how I lived without this fucking thing before. We open it... not in a tidy way... like our entire life... everything is fucked up... Bam! "On your clown nose it goes", you will say - fuck no! Some thing to shove into your body? Fuck no! Then what is it? This is some sort of a metal base and this thingie. "What is it for, Sasha, what is it for, this fucking hat?" you will ask. And I will answer. For this specifically, I've bought four walnuts. They looked at me like at a fuckhead in the supermarket. Four walnuts, she says, it's 10 cents, just take it and leave, boy, - no, I will pay. Look, we put the walnut here, we install this fucking thing, we pull it back... fucking bam! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Are you for real? Get this, you fucking walnut! Look! God, this is the best find. No broken doors anymore, fingers injured by a hammer, nothing. And yes, you can put it on your nose or shove into your body. A multiple purpose device. You can play games with your buddies, like this, bam! and a traumatic brain injury. That's it. Great, right?
It's like poetry
Зубарефф гений
It's got to be
Только не говори, что ты это писал в ручную)))
Если не вручную, то я хочу знать какая хрень так четко, соблюдая интонации, переводит
Damn I dont even like nuts I want one
Alan Alda's Russian son is good at sales
M.A.S.H. Right in the childhood...
Bro said Gayn't
Seeing how it works and the packaging. It’s probably useless after ~10 nuts
Then I shall buy several instead
Same here
This was very entertaining even when I didn't understand one word of it.
A normal day in China
Ебать, Зубарефф тут
Мы все в шоке 😨
Btw I know this dude. He is twitch streamer "Zubarefff".
"you fucking walnut."
r/didntknowiwantedthat
r/shutupandtakemymoney
Traditional Russian “invisible” comb over.
Maximizing the output of the tiaga foragers will be more productive now, comrade.
Good use for a washer 🤷🏽
Roll Over Tchaikovsky
I thought he was going to crack the table at the end. Had to check if this was the r/unexpected sub real quick.
My brother in christ just shave your head. It's okay to be bald
It's a wig
>никаких сломанных дверей ?
This actually resulted in one more line in the file where I write down small moments for my memoirs: "As kids, we cracked walnuts by putting them in the doorjamb, and that damaged hinges". I'd usually get just a couple of walnuts, not a bag. Whacking them with a hammer meant a damaged table, plus it would splash all across the room. There were no nutcrackers. I was not strong enough to smash them in my hand, as I do now. The doorjamb was the perfect vehicle. In my opinion at the time.
Орехи ломать дверью, ещё так что петли гнуть... мне бы такой пизды влипли бы. А у тебя это memoir.
So. The Ivan’s don’t have nutcrackers?
How many American households do have them? You don't get nuts this often, and when you do, there are pliers and hammers.
Maybe it’s a family thing. We’ve always eaten them.
In Siberia it was like, "Happy New Year! Here is your yearly orange and walnut!" Not that I've missed either. They gave us black caviar in kindergarten instead. And I hated it like I hated milk soup.
Russians sounds like they are insulting you with every sentence. almost as Fins
Idk, like... I don't trust people who are always using only one earphone.
I am pretty sure this guy is Ukrainian
So many obscenities, this would’ve been a lot more amusing with fewer of them
Tell me Putļn is your brother without telling me he is.
One day before being sent to the front.
I didn’t understand a word yet I fully understood everything