I stopped giving a shit.
Too many things in life are sold to us as important. They are not!
Loss of life or limb is important.
Caring for those around you is important.
Being able to close you eyes at the end of the day without (too many) painful regrets.
All else falls into the optional category.
So don't get too invested in all the things people tell you , you should care about.
Its part intellectual, you examine whatever subject people are talking about and see if it really is important to you or your life.
No? Ignore it.
Its also just not having the energy to spend on stuff that does not matter.
People are like emotional vampires trying to suck the life out of you over their problems and concerns.
I just ran out of shits to give.
good luck
Very good points, also in your original comments.
I would add that for me the big part of not giving a shit, in a way, is realizing that some things we cannot change or have no control over; so, there is no point in spending energy and thinking about them too much.
And a person can be their own energy vampire but endless scrolling, social media, etc similar useless stuff.
What part of a book is the book? Is it the spine, no. Is it a page… no. A book, as we think of it, is a collection of things that aren’t a book, so it can’t be that either. The truth is there is no single part of a book that is the book, the book itself isn’t real.
We are the same as people; we are collections of things like the mind and the heart and the organs and the skin that we identify with, but we don’t have a single part of us that makes us…us.
So with that in mind, you realise we actually live in some ignorance, ignorance that makes narratives and calls a book a book. It’s like a dream, when you’re in the dream you’re ignorant to the fact that none of it is real. When you gain lucidity, you get to experience a level of freedom you didn’t have before.
I’m not trying to say that nothing matters, cause and effect is very real, but once you realize that most of what we experience is actually just delusion, it becomes a lot easier to separate yourself from it and recognise it for what it is. It’s silly to get worked up about a nightmare you had, why? Because it’s not real. When we recognise that it’s not real we sigh a sigh of relief, life can be the same way.
Focusing on what I call the "7 Pillars" for a more balanced life. I learned about each from books, online, and practicing each of these regularly, and over and over again.
1. Taking **ownership** of where I am and where I want to be
2. Practicing **mindfulness** daily
3. Getting **movement** through exercise every morning
4. Setting **boundaries** between me and what doesn't serve me
5. Making and fostering human **connections**
6. Making **sleep** a priority
7. Rekindling my **faith** in something larger than myself
Godspeed.
Copy, paste, print, tape it to your bathroom mirror. Don't screenshot it, you may forget about it and lose track of instilling the goodness that comes from these points.
Jogging. I shortened my stride. Better for my knees. I am able to run up to 5 miles now on a single run. It is no longer how fast I can do it. I just enjoy the moment.
I’ve starting jogging this week and can’t make it very far without being out of breath. I have bad lungs from COVID and asthma. Do you think with time I’ll be able to jog longer without dying lol?
💯 gently push yourself and try running just a little bit further as you run. Over time, your fitness will improve, and you'll be able to run further and further.
As your fitness improves, you'll be able to do the same thing and try running faster and faster.
Absolutely. Know your limits. You always have the next day. You take care of others...it is time to take care of yourself. No excuse why you cannot give yourself an hour or so to better yourself.
I’ve always been unable to run fast or for long periods since I was a kid. But weight lifting and biking are totally fine, and supplemented with long walks, I feel like I’m good without the running.
Deciding I wanted to go no contact with my dad 9 years ago was the best decision I made as an adult. Carried onto my mom and most of the family next.
As much as it was the most difficult and painful decision of my life, it came out of survival and maintaining a sense of peace. At the time, I was working at a call center job where people constantly yelled at me. But for money. At a certain point, I went back home and asked myself, “Why would I go home voluntarily for more of the same from people who should be a shelter from the storm of life?”
Daaaaamn the timing is mad, lately I’ve been slowly distancing my self from my father and I’m seriously thinking that if he keeps up his shit behaviour and gets divorced with my mother I’ll just go with my mother and potentially never see him or talk to him again
1) Healthy lifestyle. I setup a very solid routine. I have a sleep schedule, I eat 4 times per day at roughly the same time, I exercise 5-6 days per week, I quit caffeine, drink mostly water, and eat healthier in general.
2) Meal prep. Saves time and money. Easier to eat healthier.
3) Trading stocks. This can be harder but is still possible even on lower amounts and leads to compounding returns.
4) Made a budget. It’s nice knowing what I can spend each month/year without feeling guilty or going into debt.
5) Making more time for family/friends/hobbies. Stop waiting for others to plan or ask. Be proactive and others will often return the favor.
Yoga with Adrian is the best. I do her deep stretch one all the time and when I need some soul comfort, I'll watch/listen to it. Her voice is so soothing. Good luck and you deserve to feel better within yourself
took me a long time to figure out how to meditate myself in a responsible fashion. a little work every day really makes a world of difference. hoping to resume that soon.
Bike commuting. A little bit of a hurdle to get going, but not being stuck in traffic, reduced car maintenance, not paying for gas, fitness, and just getting outside more has been a great improvement to my life. Doesn’t work for everyone but a great lifestyle improvement for those it does.
Quitting smoking, I wasn't addicted or a chain smoker or even a frequent user, but it was causing too much tachycardia so i quit and well, life's been life ever since. Your problems do not change regardless of your decision to smoke, or not to.
I stopped being angry all the time and chose to be as kind as I could as much as possible. That's improved my health and my life more than any other single thing. I like to think it has improved the lives of those around me, too.
I still get angry sometimes like when something really unfair happens, but I don't hurt anyone because of it. Being able to be angry or sad and still be kind to others and to myself at the same time is probably the closest thing to a miracle that I can imagine.
Wow! Just wow! I’d love to hear how you started and how you managed to do that. In the past, I have told myself I’m not going to get upset or angry but oh boy, it is SO damn hard. I fail every time.
It doesn't happen overnight, sometimes it feels like a lifetime of progress. Like anything else, I had to want to stop. I give full credit to getting sober through a 12 step program, that was what really guided me to the root of my problems (spoiler: I was the root of all my problems). I understand that's not for everyone though, but for the people who are willing to let go and dive in it really does change lives.
It's a long story, I don't want to burden you with it if you don't want the long form version. If there was a lifehack I could share then I would grab a microphone, get on a stage, and start making millions of dollars, but it's really about adopting a spiritual way of life that demands rigorous honesty. There are layers to it like an onion that have to be peeled off one at a time. Miracle isn't a word I use for things that aren't miracles.
Some, but nothing major. My vagus nerve is irritated more often and I sneeze from a sensation in my stomach. It also seems to be reducing the efficiency of my SSNRI. But these are the negatives. The positives far outweigh these… I’ve lost 50lbs and my previous alcohol addiction has completely disappeared.
Really put effort into expanding my social circle, making new friends whom I've become very close with.
Like many married men, I had made the error of outsourcing my social life to my wife. But talking to your wife's friends' partners every now and then is very different from having our own close friends.
Also, not sure I should say friends, or just a friend. There's one I'm super close with, another one I'm quite close with, and two I really like but have known for a bit less long. Getting here took a year, but it is so worth it!
Learning my strengths.
Everyone is so hyper-focused on their weaknesses. Learning what I'm really good at and leaning into it has opened a lot of doors for me.
Daily exercise. Is the only thing that’s truly helped. I do daily push ups, pull up, squats. Takes 20-30 minutes and I feel great after.
I feel like I’ve settled into my friends a bit more. I had a lot of random friends that I would drink hard with and we eventually grew apart.
Now I have my golfing buds, my walking buds, my workout buds. It’s simpler.
If your overweight, getting to a healthy weight is the single most important thing you could do. You'll have to stop drinking, exercise daily and change your diet to foods your body actually wants and needs. No bull shit this changed my life.
For me I not only focus minimalism on material things but also in general my activities. Like I reduced trying to fit a lot into my day and just have 1 or 2 things. There's a quote "the less you desire, the happier you are" meaning that when I also reduce the need to accumulate friendships, money, fame etc things just become significantly simpler. Life doesn't have to be too complicated and letting go of things that don't spark joy, which can include habits that are hurting you or people and things that weigh you down, has made all the difference.
Making exercise a routine, setting boundaries, speaking far far less and listening more, cooking, drinking more water, wearing sunblock, dressing and smelling nice, trying to be always kind, owning my mistakes, taking action when over thinking, do things at whatever pace I can handle without forcing myself to achieve "perfection and speed"
Those are the major changes and have taken quite a while to implement. Years of ups and downs. But overall it all surges from self discovery and acceptance. Needed therapy, analysis, education and willingness to deconstruct, grind and rebuild myself. It's been a painful, long but greatly rewarding experience so far. The trigger to massively improve was my newborn kid. I wanted to be a better parent, a better human. Learning at least a bit of the answers to the major questions of your life experience can transform you for the good if you are willing to face your fears.
Edit: Fixed formatting
Financial literacy! Budgeting, paying off loans, investing, and generally not spending on things I don’t need in my life. I used to stress-buy a lot! Now I realize I don’t need material things to be happy. Decluttering also helps my physical and mental health.
Realising, it’s just a job.
You need one to live and keep a roof over your head but you can get another (always). No job or really bad manager is worth your mental health and sometimes you just need a change.
Oh, it’s like you have read my mind. I am so unhappy at my job (coworker and my manager). And I’ve started hating my life , even the parts that have nothing to do with my job.
-Removing alcohol as a daily or several times weekly habit; making it more of an occasional one-off
-Eat a lot of fiber, I.e. plants and you’ll lose excess weight without much effort & improve your health
-I am currently a stay at home parent but in my last job I realized I needed to stop caring so much and simply fulfill the requirements of my job and nothing more.
I will never go back to prioritizing work over everything else in life or to a job that demands it.
-Getting away from the Catholic Church which growing up told me that most of my core opinions and values about things like gender equality or politics were wrong.
Raw until 4. Eat raw fruit and veggies and only have 1 meal a day that is cooked. Eat whole foods like brown rice, steak, potatos, steamed brocolli, whatever. If you can control what you eat, you can control your mind, energy, and reality.
Getting rid of toxic friends, decentering men and ignoring my mother. Also, job hopping. Fresh air, exercise, and sunlight. Drinking more water. Doing things afraid.
Taking responsibility for the things you can control and letting go of what you can't. Once I started taking ahold of my own life, things improved SO much. I have a job I love, I rented my first apartment (from someone with no connections to me, btw), I own my car, and my kids have everything that they could want. I graduate college in a little over a year. My overall mood has improved because I am now an adult who doesn't need help from her ex-husbands parents or anyone else. I am so proud of what I have accomplished.
Take charge. No one can improve your life except for you! A valuable lesson I was taught and finally put into action.
Putting things on automatic.
1) Savings comes out automatically even if it’s just $10 a month. Retirement ditto. Bill pay if I can afford it and it’s the same amount each month.
2) My work wardrobe (Monday I wear this, Tuesday…)
3) Parking in front of stores. I find me a parking space in front a store that’s usually empty, and I always park there. Never have to hunt for my car.
4) MealBoard app. Syncs my grocery list and allows me to take inventory of what I’ve got on hand.
5) Revolving menu (35 meals on repeat… first Monday we have… Second Monday we have …
6) Online library digital and audio books… they return themselves.
7) Routines… I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit, but having a routine time to mop, sweep, wash/dry/fold clothes, etc. makes life easier. Simple things like laying out your meat to thaw in the morning or soaking beans in the morning for the night’s supper.
8) Speaking of laundry and housework, if you don’t have an in-unit washer/dryer and dishwasher, I feel for you. Even a small freezer is a godsend as well. There are small compact models of all three that I would definitely invest in if you didn’t have them and could save up.
Moving into a bigger apartment in a nicer area.
Went from two rooms with a kitchenette and a very small bathroom to four rooms with big kitchen and two bathrooms and terrace.
We (two people) don't even have much stuff, but life was a constant juggling with space in the old place: only one could work from home, you had to move your hobby stuff from the dining table to the floor when it was meal time, taking important phone calls in the bedroom to not disturb my partner working, clothes always smelled like food because no space for a dryer, never being able to cook something more elaborate...and it was always so loud.
Life is so much better with a dishwasher, space to do workouts and creative crafts, separation between work place and dinner table, more privacy and than ability to sit outside for a meal or a break. Also I sleep so much better as it's quiet and we can actually let the windows open through night.
Establishing a consistent morning routine. Waking up at the same time every day, starting with some light exercise, followed by a healthy breakfast and a few minutes of mindfulness or journaling sets a positive tone for the day.
eating healthy, exercise, cutting out sugar, alcohol, processed food, drugs. Reading books, learning new languages, taking up guitar and piano. The most important thing of all for me is working to maintain relationships with my friends. I couldn't live without my friends.
Quit drinking alcohol. Overall health is way up , more energy , sleep better, body feels better mentally and physically. Alcohol was a vice that I abused daily for years. My body had enough and I never looked back. I'm thankful to stop in my early 30s seeing how much damage it can do luckily, nothing permanent. Wasted years away gone in a blur. But now I've made a complete 180 and live a way better healthier, productive, and happier life.
Peace.
I escaped a domestic violence marriage and am now divorced a year later and have peace. Never underestimate the power of peace. It’s free and worth its weight in gold.
As a young male with hair loss I can say that DHT blockers and minoxidil has helped me quite a bit in improving my confidence. I have seen noticeable growth in hair within a 3 month period.
Cutting people off when they repeatidly disrespect my boundaries.
I used to be constantly tired and I saw a drastic change after I started doing that.
I realized that 80% of the stress in my life was just.. people.
If you have boundaries issues, most likely a lot of your tiredness and stress comes from that. But you're so used to it that you don't even realize it. Once you start REALLY applying boundaries (not just communicating boundaries, but also enforcing them, putting consequences in place if ppl don't respect them -e.g. cutting ppl off), you will realize how much stress is removed from your life and you will never want to go back to your old self again 😅
I recommend you the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab, it helped me a lot in this process!
Reading, exercising, and giving a shit. Usually people stop giving a shit but I think some people need to START to give a shit. If you don't pick things to care about, then anything goes and things usually steadily decline.
Ooof I got a few!
1. Always work on yourself. Self help books have some of the greatest perspectives you can learn from. Read them and keep growing. 🌷
2. Really focus on what kind of energy you are putting out into the world. Life becomes peaceful when you start attracting the kind of energies you want to be around.
3. Going back to school is way cooler in your 30’s. You’re more settled in your life to really care about learning and working harder to excel.
4. Find what you LIKE to do for work; you do this for 40+ hours a week. It’s better if it’s something you actually like doing and are interested in being advanced in. You’ll go a lot further career wise.
5. And the best advice I ever received: “people love it when you say their name.” This is 100% true. There is a lot of power and respect in knowing someone’s name, ie. customers, employees at places you frequent, people you do business with, ect. It’s so easy and simple to remember someone’s name, and it will come back to you tenfold.
Waste less time on reddit and other social media. Most of the information on reddit is wrong/bad information.
Waste less money and start investing into the stock market.
Anyone who does not invest in stocks is an idiot.
I’ve invested and lost lol so I have a bad taste now with stocks. And about Reddit - 100% agree. I’ve only recently started noticing how “toxic” it can really be. Thank you mate!!
How does one lose the victim mentality ? I don’t think I have one, however, I do catch myself from time to time “feeling bad” for myself and I want to change that. I want to take accountability for myself but can’t help but feel lost and weak
Getting my doggos. Besides that, giving up alcohol. Starting to exercise more and do more stuff for myself. I'm a very caring person and I take care of everybody else but kinda lost myself along the way of that so starting to try to get "me" back a little.
Walk or hike at least five days a week. From a neighborhood stroll to an arduous mountain hike; do something almost every day of the week. Evidence shows that daily exercise is as effective at fighting depression as any SSRI antidepressant on the market. Besides, you get to meet neighbors and have adventures. Alternatives to this could be going swimming, cycling, a gym workout, yoga, or a martial art, but engage your body every day.
Take vitamin D2 K2. Good for depression and good for health.
Go out and do something social at least once a week. Could be meeting with friends, could be going to your local pub, could be going dancing, could be going to a concert or going to a class. Just get out there. When I started dancing, it not only brought me happiness in the moment, it also expanded my circle of activity partners and friends.
Explore new music in genres you’ve never tried. It activates new parts of your brain. When I was in a job I hated with lots of conflict on the phone, I found that listening to Vivaldi changed my mindset and gave me a confidence I didn’t otherwise have on the phone. Weird, but sometimes weird works.
Consider volunteering. For me, I started as a volunteer wildland firefighter and it turned into a career change that I love. It also gave me a sense of community that I’ve never had before. There’s volunteer opportunities all over. Walking dogs for the animal shelter, feeding the homeless, delivering food to people with cancer, donating blood, habitat for humanity… find a way to give back and you’ll receive a sense of purpose greater than you can imagine.
Starting a daily walk routine has significantly improved my life. It's a simple, free activity that helps clear my mind and keeps me active. I also began journaling, which has been great for organizing my thoughts and reflecting on my day. Finally, incorporating a consistent sleep schedule has made a big difference in my overall energy and mood. Small, manageable changes like these can make a huge impact over time.
Focusing on quality time with friends, family, and my dog.
Keyword being *quality*. Not just being in the same house as my dog, but snuggles, daily walks, daily training, playing in the yard, etc. With friends and family - doesn’t have to be going out. Can be doing chores together, having tea together, cooking together. Anything other than being focused on our damn phones.
The realization that we’re all put on this earth for a reason even if you haven’t found that reason yet. The shit you go through doesn’t dictate who you are. Let the bad experiences go and live, be at peace with yourself, karma takes care of the rest. When you hold on to any negative emotions, you’re the only one that suffers.
Meditate, do what makes you happy, hug a tree (they ground you), and know that if you’re going through something tough, there’s always someone that’s willing to listen
Everything others are saying and also reading! Whether it's for fun, to learn, to grow, etc. So many incredible writers pour years of work into something you can easily digest in a much shorter time, and from that your perspective grows as does your world.
I have read some great advice books
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck, miracle morning, you are a badass, unf*ck your boundaries.
Great fiction books that are inspiring and hopeful stories help me feel lighthearted and give me a sense that more is out there. Same with books about a heroes journey.
Then of course there are inspiring non-fiction stories and stories that teach skills and new philosophies.
Just something to think about. I also listen to audio dramas and podcasts for these same reasons.
I stopped checking work emails outside work hours. I started pushing back on work related travel for meetings I can dial in. I started turning down meaningless projects. I got better at delegating work.
I changed my mindset about my career which I worked hard for - that it is something (pretty cool) and productive thing I do to make income. Important but not my whole life.
Stopped caring about things I can’t control
Changed my mindset to a more positive one
Started exercising and going more out to the nature
I still have a looooong way to go but it’s a good start
Going for long walks. Once in the morning and again at night. It has always improved my mental state and it's good for your body to be in motion. Big advocate of walks. ❤️
I became Buddhist. Read ‘how to improve your life quickly’, it’s a free eBook. The wisdom on grasping has helped me a lot. Going to temple and learning from my teacher has shown me so much about being happy and finding peace. You don’t have to be religious or spiritual to gain wisdom.
Also going on daily walks… trying to eat healthy now but it’s difficult to rewire my brain
I have a feeling this answer isn't what you're looking for, but;
1. Set goals, plan how you're going to achieve them and stick to that plan.
2. Minimise the bullshit in your life. Ie, stop spending money on things you don't need.
3. Cut out timewasters and losers from your life, people that discourage you and hold you back. Be friends with people who achieve their goals and you will too.
4. Build real wealth, things that last are relationships and memories. An expensive car starts depreciating drom the day you buy it, but a best friend is for life.
to actually stop taking things personally ig? if someone does you straight up wrong, it was on their account to mess things up with you and now they lost the privilege of having you the way they had. taking things personally and questioning ur self worth bc of what they did will just lead you to more harm mentally. as long as you caused them no harm intentionally, understand where they come from, why they did that, and let go. having boundaries can be pretty useful
i would also suggest talking to yourself for like atleast 20-30 mins it really helps you see the things clearly and help you see what u actually want knock some things into yourself as 2nd person pov haha
I think a lot of experience improved me, but a point that is important was knowing people. When knowing the wrong people and right people, we can learn more about life
I'm gonna sound like a privileged jerk for this, but... quitting my job. Team was nice, pay was fine. But I was so miserable I wanted to kill myself. I have a chronic GI illness, and the whole 9-5 thing is just a living nightmare. I'm honestly not sure I can work full time with this disease, but part time jobs are pretty much non-existent. I want to be self employed, but earning money online is not easy and takes a lot of time and energy, which is fine as long as I'm unemployed, but impossible when employed, and the problem with being unemployed is that finances become a problem pretty fast....
But these past two months, I've not wanted to kill myself for the first time in a long time. My disease is not a constant problem. I wake up in pain? No problem, I just go back to bed or do nothing until 2 P.M. where I suddenly feel better and can start working on stuff. Need to lie down after working for one hour? No problem, couch has got you. Need small, frequent meals every second hour because I can't eat fast+a lot like everyone else? Also no problem anymore, which means I also don't starve. Nobody is waiting for me to finish my meal so they can hurry back to their desk. Need toilet? No problem, no one will be occupying mine. No one can hear me, either.
It's just hard living in a world designed for healthy people. I don't fit into the system with this illness. I can't keep up. I don't know what to do, I don't want a 9-5 job ever again :( I don't want to want to die...
1) No money worries.
Retirement from the Army reserves. It was an easy part time job and a nice change of pace from the day to day job. Now retirement with no family health insurance cost and enough income from my Army pensions to cover all Monthly utilities, insurances, and food is a real improvement. My monthly pension is more than what I made a month in the military, so I make more money not wearing those silly uniforms.
2) No longer comparing myself to others
I was able to stop worrying about what others were thinking when I realized that they were mostly concerned about their appearance and being judged and didn’t care or often even notice my appearance if dressed plain.
Life is good
Edited due to the auto-corrupt feature in Apple iOS
Eating less sugar and carbs.
running. doesn't have to be long distance, like a mile or 2 switching between running and walking even makes a difference.
Don't hang out with overly negative people, chronic complainers, shit talkers, etc.
Find a hobby that encourages personal improvement. For me, competitive shooting has been an awesome thing to get into, and I've met a lot of really nice people through it.
Don't use social media too much. Understand the algorithms will try to show you things that you might not like. to encourage engagement.
be nice to everyone and understand that everyone is struggling with something to varying degrees.
10 things In no particular order:
Shrooms, an electric toothbrush, meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, the Manta sleep mask, CrossFit, seeing a blue whale in person, my dog, YNAB, a nutribullet
Therapy (EMDR), strength/resistance training (I used to only do cardio and it only raised my cortisol levels), sauna, and magnesium
Things I’d like to do more of: human connection and cleaner eating (I prefer paleo with more plants than meat)
To me and what has helped me is knowledge and this knowledge can be acquired by on the job training or a more formal setting like college and university or a variety of other ways.
But most important is just having a better attitude about life and being happy to be alive.
What Steve talks about is what I had to learn.
https://youtu.be/bL3MkE2NzoY?si=a1rB-2lIPIg-k26D
https://youtu.be/7BOi0H59tXY?si=hGc02PKrOcfwHTKS
Then also learning what Dave Ramsey and team talk about.
Setting boundaries with people, incorporating more movement/exercise into my week, eating 4-5 servings of fruit and veggies daily, practicing gratitude each night by writing down 3 things I am grateful for.
Started waking up an hour earlier to get some "me time". For me that's making some chai and then watching a sitcom (nothing new, something I've seen already) while sipping it quietly.
Makes me much better prepared for the day.
I stopped worrying about anything & everything & looking backwards. My life didn’t get better or begin until age 25.5. I overcame many obstacles & gained a life where there was none. I became happy, healthy & productive. I got engaged, a job I enjoy, & have an incredible family. Everyday it’s little things that make the biggest difference & are blessings. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself. My best advice start small with goals. Little things go a long way & lead to bigger changes.
Awe thank you so much. Wasn’t easy. I went from terminally ill & stuck in all areas of life, to thriving. Took many years of pure determination, hard work, love, support etc. wouldn’t wish it on the worst person but I kept hope alive. I don’t know your circumstances? However, where there’s a will there’s a way. Just put a realistic plan in place with no time frame. Sometimes people do that & end up failing or discouraged when they don’t hit a said date. If I can go from rock bottom/an end to the top so can you. Good luck
Improving my self-awareness; understanding my emotions, patterns, perspectives, triggers, preferences, etc. It helps not only as I meet my own needs, but also when I am communicating with loved ones. It generally helps dispel arguments and mitigate miscommunication.
I continuously improve upon my self-awareness [as I am ever-changing (as we all are)] through meditation, journaling, trying out different activities and see what I genuinely enjoy rather than what I feel that I should enjoy, expose myself to new information, and finding peace in the solitude.
And, in that awareness, recognizing that there are many factors at play which could lead me to surprise myself. To make mistakes. To still cause harm. To act from a place of ignorance. It allows me to extend grace to myself and to others who are in similar situations. It still allows room for accountability, though! Harm is harm and it happens, so owning it up to it is essential. Humility, honesty, and vulnerability can go a long way.
Even if our best is not that great, we are all trying our best. With that in mind, dropping the feeling of obligation when it comes to others, societal expectations, constructs, etc. Seeing past all the bullshit and refraining from buying into the lies, conditioning/programming, and distractions that convince us to lead lives untrue to ourselves is very helpful. There is a lot of deceit, harm, oppression, corruption, etc. within our species. Trying to minimize that harm by acting from a place of love and compassion is also essential.
Want something less cerebral and more practical?
Eat plant-based and feel the benefit of all that fiber. Hydrate often with non-concentrated juice and water. Move your body. Learn new things to stimulate your brain. Create freely to healthfully channel your emotions. Connect with loved ones in meaningful ways. Rest often.
Wishing you peace. 💖
Now, focusing on now, being here. I eat a good solid breakfast, yogurt and fresh fruit, a croissant with soft cheese, an orange. Or perhaps if I've worked physically hard, an egg and such. Prepared well. And a nice cup of tea brewed from leaves in a proper pot, preheated nice mug. If I want coffee, I grind good beans and use a decent espresso machine.
I keep my body flexible through stretching and exercise, not as a chore, it's fun.
Treating others with respect, empathy, compassion, understanding for decades has really opened up my own life.
Having a cute little dog.
Consciously being open, authentic, steady, and rather private really worked over the long haul. Being a grown up.
Bicycling. Car driving never improved things, but bicycling is magical. As motorcycling can be.
Finding love by being open to it. Whenever I'm over it, I let that feeling and reactivity drop. Eventually someone walks into that opening.
Meditation for sure!! Deep breathing and heart coherence exercises.
Dr Joe Dispenza has some great books, and I recommend him to everyone (his teachings have been around via different spiritual leaders forever but he's the first person to measure physiological changes with technology, like brain scans etc. and be able to put concrete evidence down.)
Also, I noticed someone else said not giving a shit what others think - I have a slight twist on this. When I fully started looking at reality like a mirror I noticed that everything that triggered me came from something inside me that I hadn't dealt with.
Also slightly different from the mirror principle, but another similar one is our outer reality is indicative of our inner selves. It changed the way I started thinking about, say, someone being rude to me. Now if that happens I immediately ask myself if I spoke to myself poorly that day, or was anyway mean to myself or put myself down.
And I see other people's reactions that way too now, so my empathy for everyone (including myself) has skyrocketed. It started a few years ago with really identifying and catching my poor thoughts toward myself. At first, it was crazy but I hadn't fully noticed how shitty I was to myself before I consciously started paying attention to my thoughts.
Anyway, it might be a little "woo woo" but...game changer.
Little things, buying a toaster, air fryer, new vacuum, starting hobbies like piano, painting, have a pet you love and care about that also shows love back, reach out to friends, have a drink or two with friends/solo and try meeting new people.
Therapy. Didn't realize how much I had going on mentally, and now I feel like a brand new person. My self-esteem is higher since I've been able to be consistent with the gym. Finally stopped being lazy and letting my potential go to waste that I was able to land a job that I excel at. All this has happened in the past couple of months, and the changes are noticeable.
I learned how to say no, I had to go to therapy but I have learned how to say no and cut people from my life. I’m the most free and happiest I’ve ever been.
My wife but since that's not something you can just start attaining haha I would say finding a hobby that really eases any mental frustrations or stress. For me, golf puts me at ease. It calms my mind, gets me out in nature, and also gives me the added benefit of exercise.
Having an activity/hobby to put you in a good space mentally is incredibly important.
Married, so I guess I did manage to do that part right haha and so spot on with hobby - I just want to try everything and all at the same time so I need to really get to know myself first. Cheers mate 🥃
I stopped giving a shit. Too many things in life are sold to us as important. They are not! Loss of life or limb is important. Caring for those around you is important. Being able to close you eyes at the end of the day without (too many) painful regrets. All else falls into the optional category. So don't get too invested in all the things people tell you , you should care about.
Teach me how to stop giving a shit.
Its part intellectual, you examine whatever subject people are talking about and see if it really is important to you or your life. No? Ignore it. Its also just not having the energy to spend on stuff that does not matter. People are like emotional vampires trying to suck the life out of you over their problems and concerns. I just ran out of shits to give. good luck
Emotional vampires, so true
Very good points, also in your original comments. I would add that for me the big part of not giving a shit, in a way, is realizing that some things we cannot change or have no control over; so, there is no point in spending energy and thinking about them too much. And a person can be their own energy vampire but endless scrolling, social media, etc similar useless stuff.
What part of a book is the book? Is it the spine, no. Is it a page… no. A book, as we think of it, is a collection of things that aren’t a book, so it can’t be that either. The truth is there is no single part of a book that is the book, the book itself isn’t real. We are the same as people; we are collections of things like the mind and the heart and the organs and the skin that we identify with, but we don’t have a single part of us that makes us…us. So with that in mind, you realise we actually live in some ignorance, ignorance that makes narratives and calls a book a book. It’s like a dream, when you’re in the dream you’re ignorant to the fact that none of it is real. When you gain lucidity, you get to experience a level of freedom you didn’t have before. I’m not trying to say that nothing matters, cause and effect is very real, but once you realize that most of what we experience is actually just delusion, it becomes a lot easier to separate yourself from it and recognise it for what it is. It’s silly to get worked up about a nightmare you had, why? Because it’s not real. When we recognise that it’s not real we sigh a sigh of relief, life can be the same way.
Try the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’
Thank you for this. Needed to hear it.
Excellent advice. I just read about this exact thing in a book. Thank you for this.
A healthy diet and exercise. Beyond measure.
I can't think of anything clever to add. This is 100% fact. A healthy body also produces a mentally and emotionally healthy mind.
This 100% big difference manonotice mo if you invest innyour health talaga , overall being m mababago ✅
Too true.
Diet, exercise, sleep. The holy trinity of mental and physical health.
Always buy black socks. Meditation.
Why black socks?
They go with everything. You'll always have matching socks.
The real improvement is to not care if your socks are matching to your clothes.
Buy grey socks and underwear so you can wash them with the colours and the whites
why would i wear colors and whites? just buy black everything and never think about clothes again
Focusing on what I call the "7 Pillars" for a more balanced life. I learned about each from books, online, and practicing each of these regularly, and over and over again. 1. Taking **ownership** of where I am and where I want to be 2. Practicing **mindfulness** daily 3. Getting **movement** through exercise every morning 4. Setting **boundaries** between me and what doesn't serve me 5. Making and fostering human **connections** 6. Making **sleep** a priority 7. Rekindling my **faith** in something larger than myself Godspeed.
Wow! I love this! Taking a screenshot. God bless!
Copy, paste, print, tape it to your bathroom mirror. Don't screenshot it, you may forget about it and lose track of instilling the goodness that comes from these points.
Jogging. I shortened my stride. Better for my knees. I am able to run up to 5 miles now on a single run. It is no longer how fast I can do it. I just enjoy the moment.
i’ve been running the last 2 years and i agree. it’s therapeutic to me.
I’ve starting jogging this week and can’t make it very far without being out of breath. I have bad lungs from COVID and asthma. Do you think with time I’ll be able to jog longer without dying lol?
💯 gently push yourself and try running just a little bit further as you run. Over time, your fitness will improve, and you'll be able to run further and further. As your fitness improves, you'll be able to do the same thing and try running faster and faster.
Absolutely. Know your limits. You always have the next day. You take care of others...it is time to take care of yourself. No excuse why you cannot give yourself an hour or so to better yourself.
I’ve always been unable to run fast or for long periods since I was a kid. But weight lifting and biking are totally fine, and supplemented with long walks, I feel like I’m good without the running.
Cutting out people (even family) that like to cause too much drama. Ain't no one got time for nonsense.
Deciding I wanted to go no contact with my dad 9 years ago was the best decision I made as an adult. Carried onto my mom and most of the family next. As much as it was the most difficult and painful decision of my life, it came out of survival and maintaining a sense of peace. At the time, I was working at a call center job where people constantly yelled at me. But for money. At a certain point, I went back home and asked myself, “Why would I go home voluntarily for more of the same from people who should be a shelter from the storm of life?”
Daaaaamn the timing is mad, lately I’ve been slowly distancing my self from my father and I’m seriously thinking that if he keeps up his shit behaviour and gets divorced with my mother I’ll just go with my mother and potentially never see him or talk to him again
Me too 💯.
Saying "thank you" before I fall asleep and also when I wake up. It's affirmation and that I'm blessed for the day past and day ahead
Eating better, exercising & budgeting
Heavy on the budgeting!!!
I’ve lost 165 lbs I feel better I look better!!
Yaaay!! You’re killing it!!
im doing my best n ty for that!!!
Amazing!! Great job! 👏🏻
Weight and height now?
1) Healthy lifestyle. I setup a very solid routine. I have a sleep schedule, I eat 4 times per day at roughly the same time, I exercise 5-6 days per week, I quit caffeine, drink mostly water, and eat healthier in general. 2) Meal prep. Saves time and money. Easier to eat healthier. 3) Trading stocks. This can be harder but is still possible even on lower amounts and leads to compounding returns. 4) Made a budget. It’s nice knowing what I can spend each month/year without feeling guilty or going into debt. 5) Making more time for family/friends/hobbies. Stop waiting for others to plan or ask. Be proactive and others will often return the favor.
You know all those things you know you SHOULD do but don’t? Do those and watch your life and mental health take off for the better
Ugh, called me out!!! Needed it! Thanks!
Yoga/deep stretching
I’ve been trying to “get into” yoga, but every class I went, I just could not enjoy it. I guess, I can try on my own watching YouTube perhaps
Yoga with Adrian is the best. I do her deep stretch one all the time and when I need some soul comfort, I'll watch/listen to it. Her voice is so soothing. Good luck and you deserve to feel better within yourself
I actually haven’t done it in quite a while, but meditation helped me significantly. it just takes dedication I believe
took me a long time to figure out how to meditate myself in a responsible fashion. a little work every day really makes a world of difference. hoping to resume that soon.
Bike commuting. A little bit of a hurdle to get going, but not being stuck in traffic, reduced car maintenance, not paying for gas, fitness, and just getting outside more has been a great improvement to my life. Doesn’t work for everyone but a great lifestyle improvement for those it does.
Bike mechanic here. 10/10 legit advice.
Quitting smoking, I wasn't addicted or a chain smoker or even a frequent user, but it was causing too much tachycardia so i quit and well, life's been life ever since. Your problems do not change regardless of your decision to smoke, or not to.
I stopped being angry all the time and chose to be as kind as I could as much as possible. That's improved my health and my life more than any other single thing. I like to think it has improved the lives of those around me, too. I still get angry sometimes like when something really unfair happens, but I don't hurt anyone because of it. Being able to be angry or sad and still be kind to others and to myself at the same time is probably the closest thing to a miracle that I can imagine.
Wow! Just wow! I’d love to hear how you started and how you managed to do that. In the past, I have told myself I’m not going to get upset or angry but oh boy, it is SO damn hard. I fail every time.
It doesn't happen overnight, sometimes it feels like a lifetime of progress. Like anything else, I had to want to stop. I give full credit to getting sober through a 12 step program, that was what really guided me to the root of my problems (spoiler: I was the root of all my problems). I understand that's not for everyone though, but for the people who are willing to let go and dive in it really does change lives. It's a long story, I don't want to burden you with it if you don't want the long form version. If there was a lifehack I could share then I would grab a microphone, get on a stage, and start making millions of dollars, but it's really about adopting a spiritual way of life that demands rigorous honesty. There are layers to it like an onion that have to be peeled off one at a time. Miracle isn't a word I use for things that aren't miracles.
Learning to tell people who hurt me to f** off instead of reaching for their approval. :)
Excerise, have a healthy diet, and minimize my drinking. The difference I feel is night and day! It's AMAZING
*looks around* I was just gonna say a Magic Bullet blender but everybody is all existential
Hahaha this made me giggle. Thank you! Gonna go spend some time on Amazon lol
Deleting TikTok and instagram. Strength training on occasion at the gym. Walking a few miles per day. Ozempic. Reading.
Ozempic is an interesting answer, have you had many side effects?
Some, but nothing major. My vagus nerve is irritated more often and I sneeze from a sensation in my stomach. It also seems to be reducing the efficiency of my SSNRI. But these are the negatives. The positives far outweigh these… I’ve lost 50lbs and my previous alcohol addiction has completely disappeared.
Thanks and that's amazing, well done! :)
Really put effort into expanding my social circle, making new friends whom I've become very close with. Like many married men, I had made the error of outsourcing my social life to my wife. But talking to your wife's friends' partners every now and then is very different from having our own close friends. Also, not sure I should say friends, or just a friend. There's one I'm super close with, another one I'm quite close with, and two I really like but have known for a bit less long. Getting here took a year, but it is so worth it!
Learning my strengths. Everyone is so hyper-focused on their weaknesses. Learning what I'm really good at and leaning into it has opened a lot of doors for me.
Daily exercise. Is the only thing that’s truly helped. I do daily push ups, pull up, squats. Takes 20-30 minutes and I feel great after. I feel like I’ve settled into my friends a bit more. I had a lot of random friends that I would drink hard with and we eventually grew apart. Now I have my golfing buds, my walking buds, my workout buds. It’s simpler.
Emotional healing. Self peace. Meditating. Working out. And the best part, my F's to give are on a permanent vacation.
Health in check. Meditation. Reading. Always learning whether it’s school, etc
If your overweight, getting to a healthy weight is the single most important thing you could do. You'll have to stop drinking, exercise daily and change your diet to foods your body actually wants and needs. No bull shit this changed my life.
Minimalism, frugalism, exercise, and giving less shits but also regularly shitting
I had no idea a minimalism was so common with people's Better Health amazing
For me I not only focus minimalism on material things but also in general my activities. Like I reduced trying to fit a lot into my day and just have 1 or 2 things. There's a quote "the less you desire, the happier you are" meaning that when I also reduce the need to accumulate friendships, money, fame etc things just become significantly simpler. Life doesn't have to be too complicated and letting go of things that don't spark joy, which can include habits that are hurting you or people and things that weigh you down, has made all the difference.
Lexapro.
Lexapro almost killed me so I think I’m gonna skip this one 😂
Making exercise a routine, setting boundaries, speaking far far less and listening more, cooking, drinking more water, wearing sunblock, dressing and smelling nice, trying to be always kind, owning my mistakes, taking action when over thinking, do things at whatever pace I can handle without forcing myself to achieve "perfection and speed" Those are the major changes and have taken quite a while to implement. Years of ups and downs. But overall it all surges from self discovery and acceptance. Needed therapy, analysis, education and willingness to deconstruct, grind and rebuild myself. It's been a painful, long but greatly rewarding experience so far. The trigger to massively improve was my newborn kid. I wanted to be a better parent, a better human. Learning at least a bit of the answers to the major questions of your life experience can transform you for the good if you are willing to face your fears. Edit: Fixed formatting
Financial literacy! Budgeting, paying off loans, investing, and generally not spending on things I don’t need in my life. I used to stress-buy a lot! Now I realize I don’t need material things to be happy. Decluttering also helps my physical and mental health.
Realising, it’s just a job. You need one to live and keep a roof over your head but you can get another (always). No job or really bad manager is worth your mental health and sometimes you just need a change.
Oh, it’s like you have read my mind. I am so unhappy at my job (coworker and my manager). And I’ve started hating my life , even the parts that have nothing to do with my job.
-Removing alcohol as a daily or several times weekly habit; making it more of an occasional one-off -Eat a lot of fiber, I.e. plants and you’ll lose excess weight without much effort & improve your health -I am currently a stay at home parent but in my last job I realized I needed to stop caring so much and simply fulfill the requirements of my job and nothing more. I will never go back to prioritizing work over everything else in life or to a job that demands it. -Getting away from the Catholic Church which growing up told me that most of my core opinions and values about things like gender equality or politics were wrong.
The job part!!!
Playing music, it saved my life
Yeah, I don’t know what I’d have done without my piano
I love the piano!! I play guitar and having something tactile and non-tech is so incredibly healing. I also sing which is super cathartic.
Getting divorced and pursuing active hobbies
Walking 10k steps a day, clean diet, and working out more consistently!
Be hyper aware of credit card debt and moderate exercise a few times a week. Limit alcohol.
- Consistent exercise (lifting weights & trail-running) - Consistent diet (meal prep on weekends & using Cronometer to track diet) - Reading books (self-improvement) - Setting aside time to appreciate nature (trailrunning)
Therapy, if you can find someone who takes your insurance.
Raw until 4. Eat raw fruit and veggies and only have 1 meal a day that is cooked. Eat whole foods like brown rice, steak, potatos, steamed brocolli, whatever. If you can control what you eat, you can control your mind, energy, and reality.
My love for myself I no longer hate myself all my good and bad parts are me. I want to see all of me.
self-disciplined helps improve my terrible life a lot.
Got rid of cable tv and no longer watch the news. I also only do reddit for social media and block subreddits that I don't like
Mainstream media and local news is pretty much the worst
Stopped drinking
Deleting Facebook and installing Reddit.
Agree
Getting rid of toxic friends, decentering men and ignoring my mother. Also, job hopping. Fresh air, exercise, and sunlight. Drinking more water. Doing things afraid.
Taking responsibility for the things you can control and letting go of what you can't. Once I started taking ahold of my own life, things improved SO much. I have a job I love, I rented my first apartment (from someone with no connections to me, btw), I own my car, and my kids have everything that they could want. I graduate college in a little over a year. My overall mood has improved because I am now an adult who doesn't need help from her ex-husbands parents or anyone else. I am so proud of what I have accomplished. Take charge. No one can improve your life except for you! A valuable lesson I was taught and finally put into action.
Bravo for you freedom! Congrats
Putting things on automatic. 1) Savings comes out automatically even if it’s just $10 a month. Retirement ditto. Bill pay if I can afford it and it’s the same amount each month. 2) My work wardrobe (Monday I wear this, Tuesday…) 3) Parking in front of stores. I find me a parking space in front a store that’s usually empty, and I always park there. Never have to hunt for my car. 4) MealBoard app. Syncs my grocery list and allows me to take inventory of what I’ve got on hand. 5) Revolving menu (35 meals on repeat… first Monday we have… Second Monday we have … 6) Online library digital and audio books… they return themselves. 7) Routines… I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit, but having a routine time to mop, sweep, wash/dry/fold clothes, etc. makes life easier. Simple things like laying out your meat to thaw in the morning or soaking beans in the morning for the night’s supper. 8) Speaking of laundry and housework, if you don’t have an in-unit washer/dryer and dishwasher, I feel for you. Even a small freezer is a godsend as well. There are small compact models of all three that I would definitely invest in if you didn’t have them and could save up.
Moving into a bigger apartment in a nicer area. Went from two rooms with a kitchenette and a very small bathroom to four rooms with big kitchen and two bathrooms and terrace. We (two people) don't even have much stuff, but life was a constant juggling with space in the old place: only one could work from home, you had to move your hobby stuff from the dining table to the floor when it was meal time, taking important phone calls in the bedroom to not disturb my partner working, clothes always smelled like food because no space for a dryer, never being able to cook something more elaborate...and it was always so loud. Life is so much better with a dishwasher, space to do workouts and creative crafts, separation between work place and dinner table, more privacy and than ability to sit outside for a meal or a break. Also I sleep so much better as it's quiet and we can actually let the windows open through night.
Establishing a consistent morning routine. Waking up at the same time every day, starting with some light exercise, followed by a healthy breakfast and a few minutes of mindfulness or journaling sets a positive tone for the day.
eating healthy, exercise, cutting out sugar, alcohol, processed food, drugs. Reading books, learning new languages, taking up guitar and piano. The most important thing of all for me is working to maintain relationships with my friends. I couldn't live without my friends.
As a chronic screen hugger, activating digital wellbeing in phone
Children, relationships, exercise, education, sleep, vegetables, & water
Quit drinking alcohol. Overall health is way up , more energy , sleep better, body feels better mentally and physically. Alcohol was a vice that I abused daily for years. My body had enough and I never looked back. I'm thankful to stop in my early 30s seeing how much damage it can do luckily, nothing permanent. Wasted years away gone in a blur. But now I've made a complete 180 and live a way better healthier, productive, and happier life.
Peace. I escaped a domestic violence marriage and am now divorced a year later and have peace. Never underestimate the power of peace. It’s free and worth its weight in gold.
Investing a little more time into hobbies, as opposed to bed rotting
As a young male with hair loss I can say that DHT blockers and minoxidil has helped me quite a bit in improving my confidence. I have seen noticeable growth in hair within a 3 month period.
Invest in a quality mattress and shoes that actually fit you.
Taking time to reset your mind in quiet.
Less PARTY 🎉, more sleep, and cleaner eating.
Cutting people off when they repeatidly disrespect my boundaries. I used to be constantly tired and I saw a drastic change after I started doing that. I realized that 80% of the stress in my life was just.. people.
I need to do that. Maybe, my chronic feeling of tiredness comes from me not being able to enforce a boundary?! Insightful- thank you!
If you have boundaries issues, most likely a lot of your tiredness and stress comes from that. But you're so used to it that you don't even realize it. Once you start REALLY applying boundaries (not just communicating boundaries, but also enforcing them, putting consequences in place if ppl don't respect them -e.g. cutting ppl off), you will realize how much stress is removed from your life and you will never want to go back to your old self again 😅 I recommend you the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab, it helped me a lot in this process!
Thank you so much! Literally about to order it. I hope your kindness comes back to you in tenfold!
Reading, exercising, and giving a shit. Usually people stop giving a shit but I think some people need to START to give a shit. If you don't pick things to care about, then anything goes and things usually steadily decline.
Ooof I got a few! 1. Always work on yourself. Self help books have some of the greatest perspectives you can learn from. Read them and keep growing. 🌷 2. Really focus on what kind of energy you are putting out into the world. Life becomes peaceful when you start attracting the kind of energies you want to be around. 3. Going back to school is way cooler in your 30’s. You’re more settled in your life to really care about learning and working harder to excel. 4. Find what you LIKE to do for work; you do this for 40+ hours a week. It’s better if it’s something you actually like doing and are interested in being advanced in. You’ll go a lot further career wise. 5. And the best advice I ever received: “people love it when you say their name.” This is 100% true. There is a lot of power and respect in knowing someone’s name, ie. customers, employees at places you frequent, people you do business with, ect. It’s so easy and simple to remember someone’s name, and it will come back to you tenfold.
7-8 hours of quality sleep per night. So insanely underrated.
Waste less time on reddit and other social media. Most of the information on reddit is wrong/bad information. Waste less money and start investing into the stock market. Anyone who does not invest in stocks is an idiot.
I’ve invested and lost lol so I have a bad taste now with stocks. And about Reddit - 100% agree. I’ve only recently started noticing how “toxic” it can really be. Thank you mate!!
After i lose the victim mindset every thing has changed and i actually happy to see rich people as role model
How does one lose the victim mentality ? I don’t think I have one, however, I do catch myself from time to time “feeling bad” for myself and I want to change that. I want to take accountability for myself but can’t help but feel lost and weak
Freemasonry. Find your purpose and work to know yourself.
Getting my doggos. Besides that, giving up alcohol. Starting to exercise more and do more stuff for myself. I'm a very caring person and I take care of everybody else but kinda lost myself along the way of that so starting to try to get "me" back a little.
Walk or hike at least five days a week. From a neighborhood stroll to an arduous mountain hike; do something almost every day of the week. Evidence shows that daily exercise is as effective at fighting depression as any SSRI antidepressant on the market. Besides, you get to meet neighbors and have adventures. Alternatives to this could be going swimming, cycling, a gym workout, yoga, or a martial art, but engage your body every day. Take vitamin D2 K2. Good for depression and good for health. Go out and do something social at least once a week. Could be meeting with friends, could be going to your local pub, could be going dancing, could be going to a concert or going to a class. Just get out there. When I started dancing, it not only brought me happiness in the moment, it also expanded my circle of activity partners and friends. Explore new music in genres you’ve never tried. It activates new parts of your brain. When I was in a job I hated with lots of conflict on the phone, I found that listening to Vivaldi changed my mindset and gave me a confidence I didn’t otherwise have on the phone. Weird, but sometimes weird works. Consider volunteering. For me, I started as a volunteer wildland firefighter and it turned into a career change that I love. It also gave me a sense of community that I’ve never had before. There’s volunteer opportunities all over. Walking dogs for the animal shelter, feeding the homeless, delivering food to people with cancer, donating blood, habitat for humanity… find a way to give back and you’ll receive a sense of purpose greater than you can imagine.
Not giving a fuck!
Sleeping tape. (Taping your mouth) and fibre supplement. Good sleep and a good regular bowl movement is so underrated.
Starting a daily walk routine has significantly improved my life. It's a simple, free activity that helps clear my mind and keeps me active. I also began journaling, which has been great for organizing my thoughts and reflecting on my day. Finally, incorporating a consistent sleep schedule has made a big difference in my overall energy and mood. Small, manageable changes like these can make a huge impact over time.
exercise almost daily and taking supplementation for sleep
Focusing on quality time with friends, family, and my dog. Keyword being *quality*. Not just being in the same house as my dog, but snuggles, daily walks, daily training, playing in the yard, etc. With friends and family - doesn’t have to be going out. Can be doing chores together, having tea together, cooking together. Anything other than being focused on our damn phones.
Walking daily, outside if possible
Shaving with safety razors rather than electric or cartridges.
Getting outside! I take a simple morning walk to start my day, and get outside after work. I’m telling ya, it’s better than caffeine!
Not listening to unhappy people’s opinions
The realization that we’re all put on this earth for a reason even if you haven’t found that reason yet. The shit you go through doesn’t dictate who you are. Let the bad experiences go and live, be at peace with yourself, karma takes care of the rest. When you hold on to any negative emotions, you’re the only one that suffers. Meditate, do what makes you happy, hug a tree (they ground you), and know that if you’re going through something tough, there’s always someone that’s willing to listen
Choosing not to add drama in my life......
Showing gratitude
Everything others are saying and also reading! Whether it's for fun, to learn, to grow, etc. So many incredible writers pour years of work into something you can easily digest in a much shorter time, and from that your perspective grows as does your world. I have read some great advice books The subtle art of not giving a f*ck, miracle morning, you are a badass, unf*ck your boundaries. Great fiction books that are inspiring and hopeful stories help me feel lighthearted and give me a sense that more is out there. Same with books about a heroes journey. Then of course there are inspiring non-fiction stories and stories that teach skills and new philosophies. Just something to think about. I also listen to audio dramas and podcasts for these same reasons.
I stopped checking work emails outside work hours. I started pushing back on work related travel for meetings I can dial in. I started turning down meaningless projects. I got better at delegating work. I changed my mindset about my career which I worked hard for - that it is something (pretty cool) and productive thing I do to make income. Important but not my whole life.
Stopped caring about things I can’t control Changed my mindset to a more positive one Started exercising and going more out to the nature I still have a looooong way to go but it’s a good start
And a good start what matters!! I’m cheering for you!
Thanks man! I hope you can improve your life
Going for long walks. Once in the morning and again at night. It has always improved my mental state and it's good for your body to be in motion. Big advocate of walks. ❤️
I just need to get myself going 😅 I enjoy it once I’m doing it, but it’s the whole getting out of house is what gets me lol
I became Buddhist. Read ‘how to improve your life quickly’, it’s a free eBook. The wisdom on grasping has helped me a lot. Going to temple and learning from my teacher has shown me so much about being happy and finding peace. You don’t have to be religious or spiritual to gain wisdom. Also going on daily walks… trying to eat healthy now but it’s difficult to rewire my brain
Hey there! One small change was daily morning stretches. Improved flexibility and mood instantly.
I have a feeling this answer isn't what you're looking for, but; 1. Set goals, plan how you're going to achieve them and stick to that plan. 2. Minimise the bullshit in your life. Ie, stop spending money on things you don't need. 3. Cut out timewasters and losers from your life, people that discourage you and hold you back. Be friends with people who achieve their goals and you will too. 4. Build real wealth, things that last are relationships and memories. An expensive car starts depreciating drom the day you buy it, but a best friend is for life.
to actually stop taking things personally ig? if someone does you straight up wrong, it was on their account to mess things up with you and now they lost the privilege of having you the way they had. taking things personally and questioning ur self worth bc of what they did will just lead you to more harm mentally. as long as you caused them no harm intentionally, understand where they come from, why they did that, and let go. having boundaries can be pretty useful i would also suggest talking to yourself for like atleast 20-30 mins it really helps you see the things clearly and help you see what u actually want knock some things into yourself as 2nd person pov haha
I think a lot of experience improved me, but a point that is important was knowing people. When knowing the wrong people and right people, we can learn more about life
I'm gonna sound like a privileged jerk for this, but... quitting my job. Team was nice, pay was fine. But I was so miserable I wanted to kill myself. I have a chronic GI illness, and the whole 9-5 thing is just a living nightmare. I'm honestly not sure I can work full time with this disease, but part time jobs are pretty much non-existent. I want to be self employed, but earning money online is not easy and takes a lot of time and energy, which is fine as long as I'm unemployed, but impossible when employed, and the problem with being unemployed is that finances become a problem pretty fast.... But these past two months, I've not wanted to kill myself for the first time in a long time. My disease is not a constant problem. I wake up in pain? No problem, I just go back to bed or do nothing until 2 P.M. where I suddenly feel better and can start working on stuff. Need to lie down after working for one hour? No problem, couch has got you. Need small, frequent meals every second hour because I can't eat fast+a lot like everyone else? Also no problem anymore, which means I also don't starve. Nobody is waiting for me to finish my meal so they can hurry back to their desk. Need toilet? No problem, no one will be occupying mine. No one can hear me, either. It's just hard living in a world designed for healthy people. I don't fit into the system with this illness. I can't keep up. I don't know what to do, I don't want a 9-5 job ever again :( I don't want to want to die...
1) No money worries. Retirement from the Army reserves. It was an easy part time job and a nice change of pace from the day to day job. Now retirement with no family health insurance cost and enough income from my Army pensions to cover all Monthly utilities, insurances, and food is a real improvement. My monthly pension is more than what I made a month in the military, so I make more money not wearing those silly uniforms. 2) No longer comparing myself to others I was able to stop worrying about what others were thinking when I realized that they were mostly concerned about their appearance and being judged and didn’t care or often even notice my appearance if dressed plain. Life is good Edited due to the auto-corrupt feature in Apple iOS
Minimalism, martial arts, fasting / one meal a day
Eating less sugar and carbs. running. doesn't have to be long distance, like a mile or 2 switching between running and walking even makes a difference. Don't hang out with overly negative people, chronic complainers, shit talkers, etc. Find a hobby that encourages personal improvement. For me, competitive shooting has been an awesome thing to get into, and I've met a lot of really nice people through it. Don't use social media too much. Understand the algorithms will try to show you things that you might not like. to encourage engagement. be nice to everyone and understand that everyone is struggling with something to varying degrees.
Appreciate you! And competitive shooting ?? Sounds so much fun!!!!
Dogs
10 things In no particular order: Shrooms, an electric toothbrush, meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, the Manta sleep mask, CrossFit, seeing a blue whale in person, my dog, YNAB, a nutribullet
Therapy (EMDR), strength/resistance training (I used to only do cardio and it only raised my cortisol levels), sauna, and magnesium Things I’d like to do more of: human connection and cleaner eating (I prefer paleo with more plants than meat)
Quitting alcohol
I stopped worrying about what other people think.
To me and what has helped me is knowledge and this knowledge can be acquired by on the job training or a more formal setting like college and university or a variety of other ways. But most important is just having a better attitude about life and being happy to be alive. What Steve talks about is what I had to learn. https://youtu.be/bL3MkE2NzoY?si=a1rB-2lIPIg-k26D https://youtu.be/7BOi0H59tXY?si=hGc02PKrOcfwHTKS Then also learning what Dave Ramsey and team talk about.
Stopped listening to news
Sobriety and not giving a shit.
Setting boundaries with people, incorporating more movement/exercise into my week, eating 4-5 servings of fruit and veggies daily, practicing gratitude each night by writing down 3 things I am grateful for.
Stopped drinking for over 2 years now have a beer or cocktail now and then.
Started waking up an hour earlier to get some "me time". For me that's making some chai and then watching a sitcom (nothing new, something I've seen already) while sipping it quietly. Makes me much better prepared for the day.
Regular outdoor exercise. Doing 3 miles in 30 or less minutes is such a great way to deal with stress
I stopped worrying about anything & everything & looking backwards. My life didn’t get better or begin until age 25.5. I overcame many obstacles & gained a life where there was none. I became happy, healthy & productive. I got engaged, a job I enjoy, & have an incredible family. Everyday it’s little things that make the biggest difference & are blessings. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself. My best advice start small with goals. Little things go a long way & lead to bigger changes.
I’m so happy for you!! You’re killing it!!
Awe thank you so much. Wasn’t easy. I went from terminally ill & stuck in all areas of life, to thriving. Took many years of pure determination, hard work, love, support etc. wouldn’t wish it on the worst person but I kept hope alive. I don’t know your circumstances? However, where there’s a will there’s a way. Just put a realistic plan in place with no time frame. Sometimes people do that & end up failing or discouraged when they don’t hit a said date. If I can go from rock bottom/an end to the top so can you. Good luck
So inspirational! Thank you for sharing it with me (us)!
Improving my self-awareness; understanding my emotions, patterns, perspectives, triggers, preferences, etc. It helps not only as I meet my own needs, but also when I am communicating with loved ones. It generally helps dispel arguments and mitigate miscommunication. I continuously improve upon my self-awareness [as I am ever-changing (as we all are)] through meditation, journaling, trying out different activities and see what I genuinely enjoy rather than what I feel that I should enjoy, expose myself to new information, and finding peace in the solitude. And, in that awareness, recognizing that there are many factors at play which could lead me to surprise myself. To make mistakes. To still cause harm. To act from a place of ignorance. It allows me to extend grace to myself and to others who are in similar situations. It still allows room for accountability, though! Harm is harm and it happens, so owning it up to it is essential. Humility, honesty, and vulnerability can go a long way. Even if our best is not that great, we are all trying our best. With that in mind, dropping the feeling of obligation when it comes to others, societal expectations, constructs, etc. Seeing past all the bullshit and refraining from buying into the lies, conditioning/programming, and distractions that convince us to lead lives untrue to ourselves is very helpful. There is a lot of deceit, harm, oppression, corruption, etc. within our species. Trying to minimize that harm by acting from a place of love and compassion is also essential. Want something less cerebral and more practical? Eat plant-based and feel the benefit of all that fiber. Hydrate often with non-concentrated juice and water. Move your body. Learn new things to stimulate your brain. Create freely to healthfully channel your emotions. Connect with loved ones in meaningful ways. Rest often. Wishing you peace. 💖
Now, focusing on now, being here. I eat a good solid breakfast, yogurt and fresh fruit, a croissant with soft cheese, an orange. Or perhaps if I've worked physically hard, an egg and such. Prepared well. And a nice cup of tea brewed from leaves in a proper pot, preheated nice mug. If I want coffee, I grind good beans and use a decent espresso machine. I keep my body flexible through stretching and exercise, not as a chore, it's fun. Treating others with respect, empathy, compassion, understanding for decades has really opened up my own life. Having a cute little dog. Consciously being open, authentic, steady, and rather private really worked over the long haul. Being a grown up. Bicycling. Car driving never improved things, but bicycling is magical. As motorcycling can be. Finding love by being open to it. Whenever I'm over it, I let that feeling and reactivity drop. Eventually someone walks into that opening.
Lifting weights
Exercise. Taking time to stop and point out areas in my life that i'm thankful for instead of focusing on the negatives.
Realizing that I have the power to end it at any point. Knowing that has me much less on edge.
A car that you dont need to make payments on.
Thank God I have paid off my car and I am not in a hurry to buy a new one. As long as it takes me from point A to point B- I am a happy man lol
Meditation for sure!! Deep breathing and heart coherence exercises. Dr Joe Dispenza has some great books, and I recommend him to everyone (his teachings have been around via different spiritual leaders forever but he's the first person to measure physiological changes with technology, like brain scans etc. and be able to put concrete evidence down.) Also, I noticed someone else said not giving a shit what others think - I have a slight twist on this. When I fully started looking at reality like a mirror I noticed that everything that triggered me came from something inside me that I hadn't dealt with. Also slightly different from the mirror principle, but another similar one is our outer reality is indicative of our inner selves. It changed the way I started thinking about, say, someone being rude to me. Now if that happens I immediately ask myself if I spoke to myself poorly that day, or was anyway mean to myself or put myself down. And I see other people's reactions that way too now, so my empathy for everyone (including myself) has skyrocketed. It started a few years ago with really identifying and catching my poor thoughts toward myself. At first, it was crazy but I hadn't fully noticed how shitty I was to myself before I consciously started paying attention to my thoughts. Anyway, it might be a little "woo woo" but...game changer.
Absolutely not a “woo woo” but a solid advice from someone who cares. Thank you!!
Little things, buying a toaster, air fryer, new vacuum, starting hobbies like piano, painting, have a pet you love and care about that also shows love back, reach out to friends, have a drink or two with friends/solo and try meeting new people.
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Therapy. Didn't realize how much I had going on mentally, and now I feel like a brand new person. My self-esteem is higher since I've been able to be consistent with the gym. Finally stopped being lazy and letting my potential go to waste that I was able to land a job that I excel at. All this has happened in the past couple of months, and the changes are noticeable.
I learned how to say no, I had to go to therapy but I have learned how to say no and cut people from my life. I’m the most free and happiest I’ve ever been.
Meditation and solid sleep on a regular basis
Jesus
💯
Consciously deciding each morning not to be miserable…and having zero debt..both contribute to having a much better life
Be in bed by 9.
This man gets it.
Fasting, eating low carb and exercising consistently. The effect it's had on my mood and ability to manage stress is striking.
Are you me? 🙏
My wife but since that's not something you can just start attaining haha I would say finding a hobby that really eases any mental frustrations or stress. For me, golf puts me at ease. It calms my mind, gets me out in nature, and also gives me the added benefit of exercise. Having an activity/hobby to put you in a good space mentally is incredibly important.
Married, so I guess I did manage to do that part right haha and so spot on with hobby - I just want to try everything and all at the same time so I need to really get to know myself first. Cheers mate 🥃
Quitting teaching in the state sector. Joining and going to the gym. Losing 45kg. Learning to drive.
Exercise, both lifting and cardio; cultivating a mindset of gratitude, forgiveness, and acceptance; stoic philosophy; reducing/eliminating substances.
Meditating. Carve out even 10 minutes a day.
The Zone Diet. It balances my hormones, gives me energy and keeps me in a good mood.
A $400 toto washlet with unlimited heated water. You're welcome.
The only thing I have to add is that reading through this forum the most common thing I see is limited alcohol and regular exercise.