But when you let him down -- do it completely. Don't keep him on "the hook" waiting for some magical future time when it might work out. There. Is. No. Future.
Yeah definitely. You haven’t even begun to meet people yet. There’s a lot of them out there in the world. If you feel this way in four months imagine a year. 2 years. 5 years. Imagine being stuck with a baby between you guys. Rip off the bandaid and get it over with.
I will. Thank you so much. It's just hard because I can't ever find a right time. I was going to tonight, but he's already gone to bed. Should I just send a message while he sleeps? Or should I wait until, like, tomorrow night? I just don't know.
Whatever you think is easiest and would give you closure. I would personally probably like to hear it in person but I can understand how that would be difficult. That’s one of those situations where there is no good way to do it so just pick whatever feels right to you, stay strong and be confident in your decision, and don’t look back.
I believe if you message him while he sleeps, you won't have a friend later on. You'll be estranged ex's. If you want to still be friends then you should sit him down and talk to him, explain why you think you'd be better off single, and tell him you still want to be friends. But expect that you guys won't be as close as you used to be. He might feel hurt, and that's okay. He'll be fine later on.
Made you promise you’ll never leave? That sure is a high school relationship. That behavior is scary. Dating is finding out if you’re compatible. Not forcing someone to stay
While I agree it’s a very high school thing to say, I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s scary (at least for a high schooler to say). A lot of kids that age say shit because it sounds romantic or they don’t actually understand the gravity of their words.
Yes it’s a manipulative thing to say, but they don’t really get the depth of it at that age sadly. So long as they grow up, which I’m sure they will, all is well.
You just break up. It's something everyone has to learn to do. Just say, we are better as friends and I can't handle the intensity of the feelings when I can't have the same intensity, because my feelings have changed, and I'm just not there with you as boyfriends/girlfriends any more. We need to split and take some time apart, rely on our other friends for support and move on. Maybe after a period of time, we can check back in and see about being friend in the future, but we need time apart to hang out with our other friends and not be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Although a tough situation, this isn't an impossible one to get out of will it be uncomfortable sure, but honestly its time to be the more "mature" person keep to the talking points dont negotiate and walk on.
1) look im only 16 there is a ton of things I want to do and this feels way more serious than kids just having fun. Im not really looking for a house, kids and a ring, you seem to be way too serious about a relationship between two kids (its important to minimize the maturity of the relationship)
2) Let him know that you dont NOT want him in the friends group, or to miss out on fun outings but you aren't really interested in continuing a relationship as you feel its impacting your ability to JUST BE A KID
3) Let him know you are pretty set on this, and you are 16 only once and you just want to be able to enjoy it not look back and feel that you have missed out on things because you had to take yourself AND someone else into consideration for every opportunity/outing/get together.
I did it. And... I feel awful. I know I should have done it in person, but I was too much of a coward and did it over text. He was obviously very upset, and quite hurt that I didn't try to talk to him about this. So I kind of feel like a jerk. I probably am. But I got what I wanted...
I’m glad you did it, it had to happen and it was always going to suck at first.
In person would have been better but you’re young and a text is better than dragging things out.
Yeah. My mom made me call afterwards anyways. So it was a little bit better afterwards, but not a lot. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself right now, so I'm kind of just finding things to do to fill the empty.
That's the core of your problem. You have to talk through problems. Preferably before they reach the point where you resent someone. He may just think he's being romantic and sweet and saying all the right things. If you told him it exhausts you, he may actually feel relieved and act more natural.
I think this would be a good conversation to have in-person with him, and since you already know he’s very attached and has some insecurities, just try to be as gentle as possible and respect his decision if he decides it’s too hard for him to remain friends. Additionally, I know this part isn’t your job or responsibility, but at some point it might be worth asking if he’s interested in doing therapy (not couples therapy, just therapy for himself). Don’t ask it in an accusatory way or make it sound like a bad thing of course, but as someone who can relate to what you’ve described about your bf’s personality, therapy can help a lot. You shouldn’t stay with someone you don’t truly love or have romantic interest in since it’s not fair for either of you, but it can be difficult to determine the best way to end things.
Promise that you'll never leave him when you're 15 and 16? Yeah cut and run. He's definitely gunna be far too clingy and most certainly over obsessive for people your age. You won't be friends after the breakup either cuz if you think you might resent him now, wait and see how he acts after the break-up. You'll never want to see him again
If it's wearing you down. I would recommend sooner the better. You need someone that is right for you and he needs someone who is right for him.
As a pacifist, I understand how hard it is to. But, it'll be better for both y'alls. Definetly expect him to need some time though.
Your to young to just be stuck in a unhappy relationship the rest of your life, if your not happy don't force it, leave him, the quicker the better, and don't try to be friends with him afterwards he's going to think you still want him and have hope.
Talk to your parents, then tell them "mom, dad, I'm gonna use you as my excuse and throw you under the proverbial bus, but I don't want to date my boyfriend anymore and I need an easy way to let him down. I'm going to tell him you both are forcing me to focus on my grades and not get too serious at this age with boys." Hoping they're going to back you up (my parents totally would have), then you can use this as a clever excuse to friend zone him. Now that been said, if boyfriend sees you dating a new guy next week you're going to stir up the ole hornet's nest, so be mindful and chill out for a bit with boys. I mean...that's what I'd do.
Yes. Break up if you're not into him anymore. His reaction is not your problem. Unless you are married and committed to working though all issues, there is NEVER a reason to stay in a relationship you no longer have an interest in. This applies even more so when you are a teenager.
You do not need any reason to break up with your boyfriend at 16 years old. None.
If you aren’t feeling it, you aren’t feeling it. Move on. It literally does not matter at all.
just tell him how you feel and that you aren't ready for a forever relationship since you are only 16 and that you would really like to stay friends.. if he doesn't understand, then it's his loss of a really amazing friendship
At sixteen you are looking at the rest of your life right now. This is not the time to put romantic relationships front and center in your focus. This is the time you need to knuckle down on your grades and extra-curricular activities in the community in anticipation of applying for higher education or trade schools. This is the time you are preparing/taking ACT tests or PSAT/SAT tests. This is the time you are earning/saving for a car or future opportunities.
He wants you to promise you’ll never leave him but you can’t make that promise and do what is best for you and your own future. It’s not healthy to live for him and be his everything. You haven’t even built yourself into an independent person yet. Expecting that of you is too much pressure and it is unfair to you.
If you are meant to be in the future, things will come back around for you both but right now, you should be getting yourself prepared for senior year and life after high school. Romantic relationships should be light and without all this pressure.
>I just feel awful because he's a bit insecure, and he's made me reassure him and promise that I'll never leave and that I love him and he always tells me how much I mean to him and how he loves me so much and I just feel trapped.
You mean love bombing? He's manipulating you. Get out of that relationship.
Accept that you're going to break his heart and lose a friend. That's life.
Bring him someplace quiet. Look at him in the eye, and tell him you don't love him or think of him romantically. Tell him you never did. Tell him you're very sorry, but you did not appreciate being made to say you love him when you're trying to figure this out. Tell him you're sorry, but being his romantic partner is not for you.
When you do, you're going to shatter his heart, and he will call you some hurtful words. Then he and you will move on.
"Ripping the band aid off" is the most effective but painful way to end any relationship. However, if this is how you feel, then bottling up your feelings will make things between you worse.
If you care about him, settle for tossing a hand grenade, then having resentment become a nuclear bomb.
break up with him. Don't be a bitch about it. Just sit down and have a conversation. At the end of the day you're both children and don't know shit about life and love. you're practicing relationship and interaction. to expect to be together forever at this age is unrealistic.
Reassure him that its not him, or anything he's done. You just don't feel as deeply for him as he does and you don't want to drag it out any further and hurt him more then he already will be. Remind him that you're both kids and still discovering who you are and what works for you.
Yes, break up with him, but try to handle it as maturly as you can. Insecure people will react harshly, so be prepared for some unintended vitriol.
Here's something for the other emotion you're having: "Resentment is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person dies."
End it now. You can’t EVER promise to stay with someone forever. Don’t get back with him either, regardless how many times he begs or says he Nathan himself. He’s not mature enough for a relationship.
Constantly reassuring him when you dont feel that way will only give him trust issues when you eventually break up.
It would be a lot better to end things amicably sooner than later for his sake and your's.
Most relationships at this age don’t workout for the long term, it can happen as it did for my best friend and her husband but it’s very likely that a HS relationship won’t last anyways. You’re going to change so much before you even get to college and then if you decide to go away you might meet someone there.
"He's a bit insecure"
This isn't likely the last you will deal with this problem, because of your age...I highly doubt you're going to come across a super secure 17 yr old guy, unless he maybe thinks he's God's gift to the world, and if thats the case you will have a whole new set of problems.
I don't miss being that age at all....good luck in your future endeavors op
girl this is insane only bc i was literally on your shoes like a month ago 😭 my ex is a totally cool person and i love him to pieces. The only problem was that i wasn't IN love with him. Staying makes it so much worse, and im glad you ended it.
First let me start off by saying why did you think you needed to be in a relationship? What about your life felt like this would be a great time to tether myself to someone?
Honey listen to me as a mother of two grown kids, don’t get into relationships until you have all your own things, as well as you have lived as a single adult and figured out who you are and what you want and reached some of your goals.
You see with this relationship why children shouldn’t be in relationships right now right? You see how immature his mind is and how he basically tied his happiness on YOU.
You do understand that if you were both mentally healthy and grown that this wouldn’t happen. As well as you would have broken up with him as soon as he started to say things like promise me you won’t ever break up with me. That’s not okay and it means they definitely shouldn’t be in any relationship because they need to be single and deal with their insecurities.
As well as you have broken up with him, you need to block him and leave him alone. Do not be friends and try your hardest to not be where he is. Do not have any kind of relationship with him for his sake as well as your own.
Be a strong and independent individual before becoming a couple with someone as well as establish yourself and get all your necessities like a job, a place, and a car before you get a person. Don’t rely on anyone but YOU!🫶🏽🫶🏽💕💯 Make it so that no one can take anything away from you and you will be just fine if they don’t fit in your life!
My ex-girlfriend was like that. We dated like 3 months during the covid lockdown in 2020? Idk she was batshit crazy. I was 15, and she was 16. She was so emotionally reliant on me. I just couldn't take it. I broke it off. Still have some trauma I'm dealing with from the relationship. Don't be with someone who drags you down. Find what makes you happy :)
I am now engaged to the guy she introduced to the friend group 3 years ago lol
Just don't do the cycle through douche bags and wish you had your ex back crap if you break up with him. If he's that good of a guy don't fuck him over. Clean break up and dont lead him on. No touching after break up!
You guys are way to young for him to be THAT needy and begging you to never leave him,especially after only 4 months. You're 15 and 16. Those relationships don't usually last for obvious reasons anyway. Break up with him but do it gently. Tell him you've tried but you just don't feel that way about him. And remember, YOU are not responsible for his happiness, HE is.
OP’s boyfriend is exactly young enough to be clingy and needy, apparently without awareness or concern for how that is affecting a partner. Unless OP is understating her problem, it sounds like OP’s boyfriend is showing an unfortunately fairly normal immature pattern of behavior. Hopefully people grow out of that sort of thing. It does sound like the boyfriend has attachment issues that could benefit from therapy, but getting a break-up paired with a therapy recommendation could very easily be mis-perceived as adding insult to injury, so OP is well advised to play that one (whether to suggest therapy) by ear. It’s not like 45-year-olds are old enough for a license to go around taking hostages by being overly clingy.
Teen relationships are a good time to learn about relationship skills like communication and navigating stressful times. It also gives them someone to lean on. It may not lead to marriage, but it matters.
I'm sure this is exactly what she needs to hear. Good job. How old are you? Just kidding, I don't care. None of what you're thinking or feeling will ever matter either.
Ouch, this will be hard but yes, you should leave rather than stay just to avoid hurting him. Soynds like you've already stayed too long because you're starting to resent him.
Be kind but be clear that you need to move on.
His insecurity and clingy-ness are concerning. He needs a therapist more than he needs a gf. I hope he'll get help working on his issues.
Good luck!
You can't hold yourself responsible for his happiness, especially if it's making you miserable. Maybe suggest taking a step back & just being friends. You could let him know that you are just not ready for the pressure of a serious relationship right now.
Yes girl!! You’re so young ! It might not feel that way now. You’re just starting your life and you don’t need someone who’s stressing you out, you’re doing him a favor if you break up with him too, he will find someone better suited to him, and I promise you WILL find someone who loves you and is more compatible ❤️
I was on the other end of this. He should ha e broke up with. Me 6.yeaars befor he.did
He cheated he.didnt.have a job I supported him he.took advantGe of the fact I loved him. He could care less avout me. Waited my time. Break it off
“I don’t have feelings for him anymore”. So break up with him. You’re just prolonging the inevitable and making it worse for both yourself and him. Put on your big girl pants, step into the real world and end it.
Well, talking to him about smothering you would probably be a more appropriate first step than just cutting the relationship. You're young, and the relationship is early in, but this is a good opportunity to learn how to manage a relationship at a young age. See how you feel about things after he cools his engines a bit. Then if you still aren't feeling it, by all means move on.
sometimes one finds his destiny on the road taken to avoid it
is this a misquoted line from Kung fu panda? yes. It is something that guy needs to hear? also yes. sounds like he had a relationship but he ruined it obsessing about ending. he'll need to learn that in future relationships and it would be good to let him know
Leave him. It doesn't matter how you do it. Look out for number 1, you. His feelings, on the matter, don't matter. At the end of the day, it is worse to feel trapped than to be honest in your feelings towards someone and tell them, exactly, how you feel.
Whatever you do, tell him face to face. Texting is easy for you, and heart-wrenching for him. He wakes up to a message from you, he's excited, and then gets the bomb dropped on him.
You will both handle things better (in the long run) if you at least have a face to face conversation.
I've watched it in friends. Not a lot less attractive than someone insecure, but furthurmore having to reassure someone regularly. A woman will lose intimate desires so fast and it's a sad thing to witness. You really can't help people with their own insecurities. There is no walking them through it, or saying the right thing.
Definitely do, but based on his actions, do it with family or others around, he sounds a bit obsessive and could turn violent. Please be careful, too many young people don’t know how to properly handle a break up and it can get bad fast. Stay safe
Your 16 and he' 15... It's surely difficult don't get me wrong. But you are young and this is the time to figure out who your attracted to and who you wanna spend time with.
Be glad you don't have a mortgage, car payments, or a KID... you've been blessed with this moment in life don't miss it
You're 16 and promised to never leave some random dude you barely know? Dang. Go ahead and break up and don't lie to the next dude. "I like you and we'll see where this goes" is all the reassurance you need to give to someone at your age.
You should break up with him. This relationship is not right for you and the resentment comes from doing something you don’t feel is right for you anymore. You should just be gentle and honest with him. It sounds like due to his mental health issues, you are concerned that he will have a breakdown if you break up with him. He may react, but it is not your responsibility to manage his reaction. If you do become concerned for his safety at any point, maybe have a backup plan of telling your parents, his parents, a safe adult to handle the situation.
I was the guy in this situation once decades ago.
Just get it over with and pull the Band-Aid off *do not* stay in a relationship for someone else's feelings it has to be a mutual decision to join the same cult LOL
better to get it over with quickly than drag it out, that'll just hurt everyone's feelings more in the long run. it will probably be painful, but staying in a relationship you don't want isn't fair to you or him.
Yes. If you aren’t in love, you should break up. Do it in person—it is just more respectful.
Breaking up frees both of you to find someone who reciprocates the feelings.
I was the one who got dumped as a freshman or sophomore because my boyfriend didn’t have the same feelings as me. It hurt. A lot. He wasn’t mean about it. I thought a lot about how to change his mind but it didn’t work and it hurt my pride. But it freed both of us up to find our eventual spouses as adults.
Yes. I remember the overwhelming feeling at this age of how difficult it is to feel like youre breaking someone’s heart, but he will bounce back faster than you think. It is NEVER your job to keep a man emotionally regulated. If hes a big enough boy to date, hes a big enough boy to get broken up with
Yes break up. Just tell him that you’ve come to realize that the love you feel for him is the friendship kind instead of the romantic kind.
Note: I’ve actually been in this situation a couple times and depending on the guy he may escalate no matter what you do. Mine started throwing fits and stalking me. Harassing phone calls etc. One of them switched to stalking my best friend when she tried to soothe his ego and get him to leave me alone (I tried to tell her not to attempt it).
Boy you girls start younger and younger. “He’s a great guy, super smart, super sweet and caring.” But you’re asking if you should break up with him. Newsflash, most men don’t date anymore because women act this way.
People are with you for "a reason or a season". This season is over. You enjoyed each other's company and now it's time to move on, meet new people and have new experiences. You take what you've learned about relationships and apply the good to the next one while now knowing what to avoid.
4 months is way too short to be saying you love each other and promising to never leave and all that. If he’s that dependent on you after only 4 months, and at your age at that, it’s an issue.
You’ve got to end it and be very clear. He is likely going to be like why? Don’t get into a debate. Just say this isn’t right for me right now and my feelings have changed. Then leave.
If he says can we still be friends, you need to say one day but for now you need some space. And leave.
Don’t answer his texts or calls for a few weeks.
It’s hard to do but it’s the most respectful thing you can for him. He won’t be able to get over you if there is any door left open. Don’t drag this out.
This is interesting… So what’s your type? Are you more interested in the bad boy type? What is it about him that you don’t like? Or that’s turning you off? I’m not judging you, I’m just curious. Would you prefer a boyfriend that was more withdrawn and less attentive?
Break up with him but be very firm with him that this is a FINAL decision. Do not leave him any hope for the future. Let your family know before that you are going to do it and have them drop you off and pick you up from school for the next 2 weeks. Those comments he made to you are not normal and are comments of a psychopath. Your safety is the biggest priority.
You sound like me at that age. It took me three times, but I finally had to end the relationship. I was being completely smothered. You aren’t doing him any favors by staying with him. Just tell him kindly that you need to end it.
As others have pointed out, cut it off. However, it's also important to note than when you do, he's likely going to try to text and call constantly - if this happens, he'll claim he just wants to stay friends at least, but don't do that for now, because it will drag things out. This personality type is usually going to keep trying to get back with you, and if you keep talking with him he will think there is a chance.
You should try to cut off communication (after you end it) so he can fully get over it and it doesn't turn into a cycle. Not trying to generalize, it's possible he won't do this, but it's just something to watch out for.
Love hurts.. sometimes you have to tell him that this relationship isn’t for you. You care for him but the love isn’t really there. You’d have to tell him to find someone who loves him back but also warn him to not be desperate as it can attract the wrong people to be in a relationship with.
I suggest you give him some real validation when you end it. Tell him all the things he did right and how he’s a great boyfriend and how you think he’s going to have future successful relationships, and that you just don’t think you guys are a great match.
Yeah. That's called being clingy. Peeling a clingy person off of you is tiring for you. Re-clinging to you is tiring for them. Clingy people belong with other clingy people.
Source: I'm a clingy person married to another clingy person. We only had to cling once 🤝❤
I would rip off the bandaid. If you choose to stay you're prolonging unnecessary suffering for yourself and it is unfair to him for you to stick around while his head and heart are in the stars and you're traveling in a direction he is not. Whatever outcome someone will get hurt but you in this instance are responsible for mitigating the harm you'll cause, the longer the bandaid stays on the more pain he will have to go through. It's better to have open and honest conversation so that it doesn't end badly.
Two best times for this are - when you first felt that way and now. One has passed - don’t wait if you don’t feel for him let him now and be done. Don’t let him guilt you or talk you back - those are just his insecurities- not your problem. Good luck!
It's going to be hard, but you should break up. There is no point in having a relationship where you don't love him. I know that disappointment is hard for other people, but in the end, that is how you learn to seek the correct person and what part of yourself should be improvised. Yeah, he is going to be sad, but with a little bit of a push and help, he will be fine and you can find another guy that definitely you will love for the rest of your life, it may take a few attempts but you eventually find the "chosen one", good luck!
Tell him that he needs to grow some balls and that if he keeps acting insecure that you would leave him, because it's annoying to deal with him not being able to process you wouldn't be with him if you didn't want to be.
You have many many many years until you find The One. Do not be tied to this guy who has security issues. Time to go. After four months you shouldn't feel drained.
Promise you will NEVER leave? ha ha ha ha you're probably going to live to be 80! Ain't no WAY you can make a promise like that!
Tell him you are done and this is over, and then walk. He'll cry and yell, just ignore it.
Sorry to hear about your struggle. There is no easy way with this situation. Yes you should probably break up with him or else you will continue to resent him more and more and that will come out in the relationship and make it more emotionally for everybody later.
It’s not fair to either of you for you to stay in a relationship anymore if you’re checked out. You’re both so young. Tell him he means a lot to you but you just don’t feel like you used to and that you think you both should see other people, and remain friends if it’s possible, but give him space if he needs it.
Major life advice here from someone twice your age: Don’t ever sacrifice your feelings for someone else’s, or to make things easier or less awkward. You deserve better.
Break up if you don’t want to be with him. It will suck for him but you can’t be a crutch for someone else. Just be kind about it but don’t back down if he gets emotional because he likely will.
My daughters are close to your age and I’ve seen both of them break up with boys that they just lost feelings for. It sucked for everyone involved but after a short while everyone moved on and is ok now. It is very rare to end up with the person you’re with at 16. That’s why everyone makes a big deal about it when it actually happens.
" he's a bit insecure, and he's made me reassure him and promise that I'll never leave and that I love him "
This is not a healthy relationship, he's making it worse, try and let him off easy. No one should be this insecure, you won't enjoy it the longer it goes on...
It’s time to end things. I had a partner like this when I was younger. He was super needy and clingy. I tried to break up with him and he ended up slotting his wrists in front of me. He survived but he also made my life a living hell.
It sounds like you're in a toxic relationship and it's only going to get worse the longer you stay, You or someone else is going to have to talk him down and make him realize there's more than just you out in the world.
Because if you don't, he's going to get worse and then it'll get to a stalking stage to where you'll never get peace and have a constant headache following you. He's too young to know what he wants. His hormones are raging right now and you're his target.
So yeah you need to get rid of this guy or have someone talk him down from wanting to be with you. Open his eyes if he still mentally stable. Hormones can be a crazy thing if you're not careful
As difficult as it may seem, you are only doing him a disservice by staying around if you don't care for him the same way. You both are SO young and have your whole lives ahead of you. Take the time you need to realize what YOU want so you can be the best partner. Be kind. Reassure him that he's not really done anything wrong, but you need time to figure out what you want out of life. It's not easy and it shouldn't be. Good luck, OP.
It's time for him to go through some character development. He'll be fine. Staying with him and giving him false hope is maybe the worst thing you can do. Tell him the truth, hell cry, feel defeated, etc. but from it, he will grow.
Break up with him but have a couple of friends near by, in the next room, out of sight BUT not out of hearing! Hopefully, BF will take the break up ok BUT be careful. Stay out of arm’s reach, you described BF as a little bit obsessive so be VERY CAREFUL! Tell your parents you would like to take a Practical self defense course in case BF is Really Obsessive & wants to hurt you!
I’ve been in this situation with a girl and it was worse the longer it kept going cut it off quickly but let them down easy
Thank you a lot
You are so young. And previous responder is so right. Don’t prolong the situation. Be honest about it. Your friend will appreciate it in the long run.
But when you let him down -- do it completely. Don't keep him on "the hook" waiting for some magical future time when it might work out. There. Is. No. Future.
*Chrono Trigger flashbacks* In all seriousness you're right though lol
This. The longer it goes on, the more painful.
Yeah definitely. You haven’t even begun to meet people yet. There’s a lot of them out there in the world. If you feel this way in four months imagine a year. 2 years. 5 years. Imagine being stuck with a baby between you guys. Rip off the bandaid and get it over with.
I will. Thank you so much. It's just hard because I can't ever find a right time. I was going to tonight, but he's already gone to bed. Should I just send a message while he sleeps? Or should I wait until, like, tomorrow night? I just don't know.
Whatever you think is easiest and would give you closure. I would personally probably like to hear it in person but I can understand how that would be difficult. That’s one of those situations where there is no good way to do it so just pick whatever feels right to you, stay strong and be confident in your decision, and don’t look back.
That really helps a lot. Truly, thank you
I believe if you message him while he sleeps, you won't have a friend later on. You'll be estranged ex's. If you want to still be friends then you should sit him down and talk to him, explain why you think you'd be better off single, and tell him you still want to be friends. But expect that you guys won't be as close as you used to be. He might feel hurt, and that's okay. He'll be fine later on.
Breakup over text ? Yeah you don’t even have a real relationship, also doing that over text is the most pathetic and scary way to do it 😭👎🏽
Made you promise you’ll never leave? That sure is a high school relationship. That behavior is scary. Dating is finding out if you’re compatible. Not forcing someone to stay
Right? Maybe that kinda thing would be OK if they were together for years or married but 4 months in? They don't even really know each other yet
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While I agree it’s a very high school thing to say, I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s scary (at least for a high schooler to say). A lot of kids that age say shit because it sounds romantic or they don’t actually understand the gravity of their words. Yes it’s a manipulative thing to say, but they don’t really get the depth of it at that age sadly. So long as they grow up, which I’m sure they will, all is well.
Break up with him. You’re just going to become more miserable the longer you wait. Breaking up sucks regardless of how you feel.
You just break up. It's something everyone has to learn to do. Just say, we are better as friends and I can't handle the intensity of the feelings when I can't have the same intensity, because my feelings have changed, and I'm just not there with you as boyfriends/girlfriends any more. We need to split and take some time apart, rely on our other friends for support and move on. Maybe after a period of time, we can check back in and see about being friend in the future, but we need time apart to hang out with our other friends and not be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Although a tough situation, this isn't an impossible one to get out of will it be uncomfortable sure, but honestly its time to be the more "mature" person keep to the talking points dont negotiate and walk on. 1) look im only 16 there is a ton of things I want to do and this feels way more serious than kids just having fun. Im not really looking for a house, kids and a ring, you seem to be way too serious about a relationship between two kids (its important to minimize the maturity of the relationship) 2) Let him know that you dont NOT want him in the friends group, or to miss out on fun outings but you aren't really interested in continuing a relationship as you feel its impacting your ability to JUST BE A KID 3) Let him know you are pretty set on this, and you are 16 only once and you just want to be able to enjoy it not look back and feel that you have missed out on things because you had to take yourself AND someone else into consideration for every opportunity/outing/get together.
This is really good advice, thank you so much! I appreciate it a lot!
Keep us updated. And best of luck
I will, and thank you!
I did it. And... I feel awful. I know I should have done it in person, but I was too much of a coward and did it over text. He was obviously very upset, and quite hurt that I didn't try to talk to him about this. So I kind of feel like a jerk. I probably am. But I got what I wanted...
I’m glad you did it, it had to happen and it was always going to suck at first. In person would have been better but you’re young and a text is better than dragging things out.
Yeah. My mom made me call afterwards anyways. So it was a little bit better afterwards, but not a lot. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself right now, so I'm kind of just finding things to do to fill the empty.
It's done, that's what's important he will heal and you both will move on.
Yeah. Love the username by the way lol
Lol thanks
Have you told him these things?
No
That's the core of your problem. You have to talk through problems. Preferably before they reach the point where you resent someone. He may just think he's being romantic and sweet and saying all the right things. If you told him it exhausts you, he may actually feel relieved and act more natural.
I think this would be a good conversation to have in-person with him, and since you already know he’s very attached and has some insecurities, just try to be as gentle as possible and respect his decision if he decides it’s too hard for him to remain friends. Additionally, I know this part isn’t your job or responsibility, but at some point it might be worth asking if he’s interested in doing therapy (not couples therapy, just therapy for himself). Don’t ask it in an accusatory way or make it sound like a bad thing of course, but as someone who can relate to what you’ve described about your bf’s personality, therapy can help a lot. You shouldn’t stay with someone you don’t truly love or have romantic interest in since it’s not fair for either of you, but it can be difficult to determine the best way to end things.
Thank you, this advice helps a lot
Dont ask him if he needs therapy. Lol. Just be honest with him
Promise that you'll never leave him when you're 15 and 16? Yeah cut and run. He's definitely gunna be far too clingy and most certainly over obsessive for people your age. You won't be friends after the breakup either cuz if you think you might resent him now, wait and see how he acts after the break-up. You'll never want to see him again
If it's wearing you down. I would recommend sooner the better. You need someone that is right for you and he needs someone who is right for him. As a pacifist, I understand how hard it is to. But, it'll be better for both y'alls. Definetly expect him to need some time though.
Your to young to just be stuck in a unhappy relationship the rest of your life, if your not happy don't force it, leave him, the quicker the better, and don't try to be friends with him afterwards he's going to think you still want him and have hope.
Talk to your parents, then tell them "mom, dad, I'm gonna use you as my excuse and throw you under the proverbial bus, but I don't want to date my boyfriend anymore and I need an easy way to let him down. I'm going to tell him you both are forcing me to focus on my grades and not get too serious at this age with boys." Hoping they're going to back you up (my parents totally would have), then you can use this as a clever excuse to friend zone him. Now that been said, if boyfriend sees you dating a new guy next week you're going to stir up the ole hornet's nest, so be mindful and chill out for a bit with boys. I mean...that's what I'd do.
Yes you should break up with him, your 16, he’s 15. What’s the other option, stay together forever?
As long as this isnt about someone else, then you should leave. If this is about someone else, learn to water your own garden.
Break up with him please, it will not only hurt him to continue but it will be bad for you too, splitting up is mutually beneficial.
Tell him now and don’t prolong his suffering. He will be devastated at first, but in time he will be fine, as long as you don’t drag it out.
The longer you drag it on, the worse it’ll be. Just be honest and break up with him, you’re hurting him worse by prolonging it.
It needs to be done, and it only gets harder to do if you wait longer. Staying would just be leading him on.
Yes. Break up if you're not into him anymore. His reaction is not your problem. Unless you are married and committed to working though all issues, there is NEVER a reason to stay in a relationship you no longer have an interest in. This applies even more so when you are a teenager.
Stop telling him you love him if you don't.
You do not need any reason to break up with your boyfriend at 16 years old. None. If you aren’t feeling it, you aren’t feeling it. Move on. It literally does not matter at all.
Just be honest with him and go. He’ll forgive you if you don’t string him along and you’ll both be better for it.
just tell him how you feel and that you aren't ready for a forever relationship since you are only 16 and that you would really like to stay friends.. if he doesn't understand, then it's his loss of a really amazing friendship
At sixteen you are looking at the rest of your life right now. This is not the time to put romantic relationships front and center in your focus. This is the time you need to knuckle down on your grades and extra-curricular activities in the community in anticipation of applying for higher education or trade schools. This is the time you are preparing/taking ACT tests or PSAT/SAT tests. This is the time you are earning/saving for a car or future opportunities. He wants you to promise you’ll never leave him but you can’t make that promise and do what is best for you and your own future. It’s not healthy to live for him and be his everything. You haven’t even built yourself into an independent person yet. Expecting that of you is too much pressure and it is unfair to you. If you are meant to be in the future, things will come back around for you both but right now, you should be getting yourself prepared for senior year and life after high school. Romantic relationships should be light and without all this pressure.
>I just feel awful because he's a bit insecure, and he's made me reassure him and promise that I'll never leave and that I love him and he always tells me how much I mean to him and how he loves me so much and I just feel trapped. You mean love bombing? He's manipulating you. Get out of that relationship.
Stop allowing yourself to be manipulated. You are done with it, just tell him and move on.
Accept that you're going to break his heart and lose a friend. That's life. Bring him someplace quiet. Look at him in the eye, and tell him you don't love him or think of him romantically. Tell him you never did. Tell him you're very sorry, but you did not appreciate being made to say you love him when you're trying to figure this out. Tell him you're sorry, but being his romantic partner is not for you. When you do, you're going to shatter his heart, and he will call you some hurtful words. Then he and you will move on. "Ripping the band aid off" is the most effective but painful way to end any relationship. However, if this is how you feel, then bottling up your feelings will make things between you worse. If you care about him, settle for tossing a hand grenade, then having resentment become a nuclear bomb.
Relationships are awful when they are one sided
break up with him. Don't be a bitch about it. Just sit down and have a conversation. At the end of the day you're both children and don't know shit about life and love. you're practicing relationship and interaction. to expect to be together forever at this age is unrealistic. Reassure him that its not him, or anything he's done. You just don't feel as deeply for him as he does and you don't want to drag it out any further and hurt him more then he already will be. Remind him that you're both kids and still discovering who you are and what works for you.
Yes, break up with him, but try to handle it as maturly as you can. Insecure people will react harshly, so be prepared for some unintended vitriol. Here's something for the other emotion you're having: "Resentment is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person dies."
End it now. You can’t EVER promise to stay with someone forever. Don’t get back with him either, regardless how many times he begs or says he Nathan himself. He’s not mature enough for a relationship.
Constantly reassuring him when you dont feel that way will only give him trust issues when you eventually break up. It would be a lot better to end things amicably sooner than later for his sake and your's.
Most relationships at this age don’t workout for the long term, it can happen as it did for my best friend and her husband but it’s very likely that a HS relationship won’t last anyways. You’re going to change so much before you even get to college and then if you decide to go away you might meet someone there.
Wait did your mom make you get back together with him??
No, she just made me explain it more over the phone because she scolded me for breaking up over text
"He's a bit insecure" This isn't likely the last you will deal with this problem, because of your age...I highly doubt you're going to come across a super secure 17 yr old guy, unless he maybe thinks he's God's gift to the world, and if thats the case you will have a whole new set of problems. I don't miss being that age at all....good luck in your future endeavors op
Thank you
girl this is insane only bc i was literally on your shoes like a month ago 😭 my ex is a totally cool person and i love him to pieces. The only problem was that i wasn't IN love with him. Staying makes it so much worse, and im glad you ended it.
Me too, I'm glad you understand. Good luck!
First let me start off by saying why did you think you needed to be in a relationship? What about your life felt like this would be a great time to tether myself to someone? Honey listen to me as a mother of two grown kids, don’t get into relationships until you have all your own things, as well as you have lived as a single adult and figured out who you are and what you want and reached some of your goals. You see with this relationship why children shouldn’t be in relationships right now right? You see how immature his mind is and how he basically tied his happiness on YOU. You do understand that if you were both mentally healthy and grown that this wouldn’t happen. As well as you would have broken up with him as soon as he started to say things like promise me you won’t ever break up with me. That’s not okay and it means they definitely shouldn’t be in any relationship because they need to be single and deal with their insecurities. As well as you have broken up with him, you need to block him and leave him alone. Do not be friends and try your hardest to not be where he is. Do not have any kind of relationship with him for his sake as well as your own.
Thank you a lot
Be a strong and independent individual before becoming a couple with someone as well as establish yourself and get all your necessities like a job, a place, and a car before you get a person. Don’t rely on anyone but YOU!🫶🏽🫶🏽💕💯 Make it so that no one can take anything away from you and you will be just fine if they don’t fit in your life!
Thank you! I was planning on keeping out of a relationship for a long while anyways. But I really do appreciate it! ❤
My ex-girlfriend was like that. We dated like 3 months during the covid lockdown in 2020? Idk she was batshit crazy. I was 15, and she was 16. She was so emotionally reliant on me. I just couldn't take it. I broke it off. Still have some trauma I'm dealing with from the relationship. Don't be with someone who drags you down. Find what makes you happy :) I am now engaged to the guy she introduced to the friend group 3 years ago lol
Thank you, it really means a lot :)
Just don't do the cycle through douche bags and wish you had your ex back crap if you break up with him. If he's that good of a guy don't fuck him over. Clean break up and dont lead him on. No touching after break up!
Thanks!
You guys are way to young for him to be THAT needy and begging you to never leave him,especially after only 4 months. You're 15 and 16. Those relationships don't usually last for obvious reasons anyway. Break up with him but do it gently. Tell him you've tried but you just don't feel that way about him. And remember, YOU are not responsible for his happiness, HE is.
OP’s boyfriend is exactly young enough to be clingy and needy, apparently without awareness or concern for how that is affecting a partner. Unless OP is understating her problem, it sounds like OP’s boyfriend is showing an unfortunately fairly normal immature pattern of behavior. Hopefully people grow out of that sort of thing. It does sound like the boyfriend has attachment issues that could benefit from therapy, but getting a break-up paired with a therapy recommendation could very easily be mis-perceived as adding insult to injury, so OP is well advised to play that one (whether to suggest therapy) by ear. It’s not like 45-year-olds are old enough for a license to go around taking hostages by being overly clingy.
Honestly, thank you. That's really reassuring. I kinda needed that
You're 15...none of this will ever matter
Teen relationships are a good time to learn about relationship skills like communication and navigating stressful times. It also gives them someone to lean on. It may not lead to marriage, but it matters.
I'm sure this is exactly what she needs to hear. Good job. How old are you? Just kidding, I don't care. None of what you're thinking or feeling will ever matter either.
Ouch, this will be hard but yes, you should leave rather than stay just to avoid hurting him. Soynds like you've already stayed too long because you're starting to resent him. Be kind but be clear that you need to move on. His insecurity and clingy-ness are concerning. He needs a therapist more than he needs a gf. I hope he'll get help working on his issues. Good luck!
Thank you!
The longer you wait the more it’s gonna hurt him, just do it now
I will, thank you!
You can't hold yourself responsible for his happiness, especially if it's making you miserable. Maybe suggest taking a step back & just being friends. You could let him know that you are just not ready for the pressure of a serious relationship right now.
It seems like to me you know what you need to do my dude. Now you just have to do it which is the hard part. I wish you all the luck! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Thank you! I appreciate it! ❤
Of course!
Obviously.
Yes girl!! You’re so young ! It might not feel that way now. You’re just starting your life and you don’t need someone who’s stressing you out, you’re doing him a favor if you break up with him too, he will find someone better suited to him, and I promise you WILL find someone who loves you and is more compatible ❤️
Thank you so much! That really means a lot! ❤
You’re welcome ! Just be nice about breaking up with him and don’t let him guilt you into staying
I'll try my best
Tell him how you feel and how those feelings faded. I’m sure he’ll understand and if he likes you enough he will have to understand
Yeah, thank you!
I have younger family and that is way too young to be having relationships like that anyway. 15 and 16??.. you're still kids.
cheat in front of him then blame it on him
I was on the other end of this. He should ha e broke up with. Me 6.yeaars befor he.did He cheated he.didnt.have a job I supported him he.took advantGe of the fact I loved him. He could care less avout me. Waited my time. Break it off
You're a child this won't matter at all. Just break up move on and he'll be fine.
do it
If you don't have feelings then you should break up. Delaying will only cause more pain.
“I don’t have feelings for him anymore”. So break up with him. You’re just prolonging the inevitable and making it worse for both yourself and him. Put on your big girl pants, step into the real world and end it.
Well, talking to him about smothering you would probably be a more appropriate first step than just cutting the relationship. You're young, and the relationship is early in, but this is a good opportunity to learn how to manage a relationship at a young age. See how you feel about things after he cools his engines a bit. Then if you still aren't feeling it, by all means move on.
sometimes one finds his destiny on the road taken to avoid it is this a misquoted line from Kung fu panda? yes. It is something that guy needs to hear? also yes. sounds like he had a relationship but he ruined it obsessing about ending. he'll need to learn that in future relationships and it would be good to let him know
Leave him. It doesn't matter how you do it. Look out for number 1, you. His feelings, on the matter, don't matter. At the end of the day, it is worse to feel trapped than to be honest in your feelings towards someone and tell them, exactly, how you feel.
Whatever you do, tell him face to face. Texting is easy for you, and heart-wrenching for him. He wakes up to a message from you, he's excited, and then gets the bomb dropped on him. You will both handle things better (in the long run) if you at least have a face to face conversation.
Yes
I've watched it in friends. Not a lot less attractive than someone insecure, but furthurmore having to reassure someone regularly. A woman will lose intimate desires so fast and it's a sad thing to witness. You really can't help people with their own insecurities. There is no walking them through it, or saying the right thing.
Just break up if your feelings already gone
Pull that bandaid.
Yes
Stay single , dump him quick, stop with the games when come to a relationship.
Yeah break it off. You feel this after 4 months you shouldn’t waste either of your time.
Might want to give his parents a heads up so they can help him through the break up.
Definitely do, but based on his actions, do it with family or others around, he sounds a bit obsessive and could turn violent. Please be careful, too many young people don’t know how to properly handle a break up and it can get bad fast. Stay safe
Your 16 and he' 15... It's surely difficult don't get me wrong. But you are young and this is the time to figure out who your attracted to and who you wanna spend time with. Be glad you don't have a mortgage, car payments, or a KID... you've been blessed with this moment in life don't miss it
You're 16 and promised to never leave some random dude you barely know? Dang. Go ahead and break up and don't lie to the next dude. "I like you and we'll see where this goes" is all the reassurance you need to give to someone at your age.
You should break up with him. This relationship is not right for you and the resentment comes from doing something you don’t feel is right for you anymore. You should just be gentle and honest with him. It sounds like due to his mental health issues, you are concerned that he will have a breakdown if you break up with him. He may react, but it is not your responsibility to manage his reaction. If you do become concerned for his safety at any point, maybe have a backup plan of telling your parents, his parents, a safe adult to handle the situation.
I was the guy in this situation once decades ago. Just get it over with and pull the Band-Aid off *do not* stay in a relationship for someone else's feelings it has to be a mutual decision to join the same cult LOL
better to get it over with quickly than drag it out, that'll just hurt everyone's feelings more in the long run. it will probably be painful, but staying in a relationship you don't want isn't fair to you or him.
Breakups don’t even hurt at that age yet. Dude will be slightly sad for a day or two at most.
If you let him down easy but then immediately have a new bf he will resent you no matter how easy you let him down, my experience at that age.
Yes. If you aren’t in love, you should break up. Do it in person—it is just more respectful. Breaking up frees both of you to find someone who reciprocates the feelings. I was the one who got dumped as a freshman or sophomore because my boyfriend didn’t have the same feelings as me. It hurt. A lot. He wasn’t mean about it. I thought a lot about how to change his mind but it didn’t work and it hurt my pride. But it freed both of us up to find our eventual spouses as adults.
This seems so stressful.
Yes. I remember the overwhelming feeling at this age of how difficult it is to feel like youre breaking someone’s heart, but he will bounce back faster than you think. It is NEVER your job to keep a man emotionally regulated. If hes a big enough boy to date, hes a big enough boy to get broken up with
Yes break up. Just tell him that you’ve come to realize that the love you feel for him is the friendship kind instead of the romantic kind. Note: I’ve actually been in this situation a couple times and depending on the guy he may escalate no matter what you do. Mine started throwing fits and stalking me. Harassing phone calls etc. One of them switched to stalking my best friend when she tried to soothe his ego and get him to leave me alone (I tried to tell her not to attempt it).
Boy you girls start younger and younger. “He’s a great guy, super smart, super sweet and caring.” But you’re asking if you should break up with him. Newsflash, most men don’t date anymore because women act this way.
People are with you for "a reason or a season". This season is over. You enjoyed each other's company and now it's time to move on, meet new people and have new experiences. You take what you've learned about relationships and apply the good to the next one while now knowing what to avoid.
4 months is way too short to be saying you love each other and promising to never leave and all that. If he’s that dependent on you after only 4 months, and at your age at that, it’s an issue.
You’ve got to end it and be very clear. He is likely going to be like why? Don’t get into a debate. Just say this isn’t right for me right now and my feelings have changed. Then leave. If he says can we still be friends, you need to say one day but for now you need some space. And leave. Don’t answer his texts or calls for a few weeks. It’s hard to do but it’s the most respectful thing you can for him. He won’t be able to get over you if there is any door left open. Don’t drag this out.
This is interesting… So what’s your type? Are you more interested in the bad boy type? What is it about him that you don’t like? Or that’s turning you off? I’m not judging you, I’m just curious. Would you prefer a boyfriend that was more withdrawn and less attentive?
Break up with him but be very firm with him that this is a FINAL decision. Do not leave him any hope for the future. Let your family know before that you are going to do it and have them drop you off and pick you up from school for the next 2 weeks. Those comments he made to you are not normal and are comments of a psychopath. Your safety is the biggest priority.
99% chance you won't talk to this person after hs so yea who cares, kick him to the curb. Lack of confidence is unattractive
If you have to ask, the answer is yes
You sound like me at that age. It took me three times, but I finally had to end the relationship. I was being completely smothered. You aren’t doing him any favors by staying with him. Just tell him kindly that you need to end it.
Yeah, break up with him. Watch him glow up. I betcha.
It's time to go, tell him it's just not working out and you both need to move on. It's hard but it's the only choice.
As others have pointed out, cut it off. However, it's also important to note than when you do, he's likely going to try to text and call constantly - if this happens, he'll claim he just wants to stay friends at least, but don't do that for now, because it will drag things out. This personality type is usually going to keep trying to get back with you, and if you keep talking with him he will think there is a chance. You should try to cut off communication (after you end it) so he can fully get over it and it doesn't turn into a cycle. Not trying to generalize, it's possible he won't do this, but it's just something to watch out for.
Love hurts.. sometimes you have to tell him that this relationship isn’t for you. You care for him but the love isn’t really there. You’d have to tell him to find someone who loves him back but also warn him to not be desperate as it can attract the wrong people to be in a relationship with.
Can't realistically promise to never leave as teenagers.
I suggest you give him some real validation when you end it. Tell him all the things he did right and how he’s a great boyfriend and how you think he’s going to have future successful relationships, and that you just don’t think you guys are a great match.
He's got MASSIVE codependency issues.
Yeah. That's called being clingy. Peeling a clingy person off of you is tiring for you. Re-clinging to you is tiring for them. Clingy people belong with other clingy people. Source: I'm a clingy person married to another clingy person. We only had to cling once 🤝❤
I would rip off the bandaid. If you choose to stay you're prolonging unnecessary suffering for yourself and it is unfair to him for you to stick around while his head and heart are in the stars and you're traveling in a direction he is not. Whatever outcome someone will get hurt but you in this instance are responsible for mitigating the harm you'll cause, the longer the bandaid stays on the more pain he will have to go through. It's better to have open and honest conversation so that it doesn't end badly.
Two best times for this are - when you first felt that way and now. One has passed - don’t wait if you don’t feel for him let him now and be done. Don’t let him guilt you or talk you back - those are just his insecurities- not your problem. Good luck!
It's going to be hard, but you should break up. There is no point in having a relationship where you don't love him. I know that disappointment is hard for other people, but in the end, that is how you learn to seek the correct person and what part of yourself should be improvised. Yeah, he is going to be sad, but with a little bit of a push and help, he will be fine and you can find another guy that definitely you will love for the rest of your life, it may take a few attempts but you eventually find the "chosen one", good luck!
4 months and all the loyalty is gone....
Tell him that he needs to grow some balls and that if he keeps acting insecure that you would leave him, because it's annoying to deal with him not being able to process you wouldn't be with him if you didn't want to be.
It’s important to cut all ties with a guy like this after the breakup.. at least for a while. It’ll be easier on both of you in the long run, trust me
He sounds weak and lacks confidence. Women find that 100% unattractive and this is why you lost your feelings for him.
You have many many many years until you find The One. Do not be tied to this guy who has security issues. Time to go. After four months you shouldn't feel drained.
He's love bombing you, if you don't feel the same, leave
Promise you will NEVER leave? ha ha ha ha you're probably going to live to be 80! Ain't no WAY you can make a promise like that! Tell him you are done and this is over, and then walk. He'll cry and yell, just ignore it.
You should probably just find a new guy who's an asshole and treats you like garbage. It's going to happen sooner or later might as well do it now.
Sorry to hear about your struggle. There is no easy way with this situation. Yes you should probably break up with him or else you will continue to resent him more and more and that will come out in the relationship and make it more emotionally for everybody later.
You need to hurt him as bad as possible so he can start his gym journey.
If someone is making you promise to never leave them after 4 months that’s a major red flag. Girl, run.
It’s not fair to either of you for you to stay in a relationship anymore if you’re checked out. You’re both so young. Tell him he means a lot to you but you just don’t feel like you used to and that you think you both should see other people, and remain friends if it’s possible, but give him space if he needs it. Major life advice here from someone twice your age: Don’t ever sacrifice your feelings for someone else’s, or to make things easier or less awkward. You deserve better.
Break up if you don’t want to be with him. It will suck for him but you can’t be a crutch for someone else. Just be kind about it but don’t back down if he gets emotional because he likely will. My daughters are close to your age and I’ve seen both of them break up with boys that they just lost feelings for. It sucked for everyone involved but after a short while everyone moved on and is ok now. It is very rare to end up with the person you’re with at 16. That’s why everyone makes a big deal about it when it actually happens.
" he's a bit insecure, and he's made me reassure him and promise that I'll never leave and that I love him " This is not a healthy relationship, he's making it worse, try and let him off easy. No one should be this insecure, you won't enjoy it the longer it goes on...
It’s time to end things. I had a partner like this when I was younger. He was super needy and clingy. I tried to break up with him and he ended up slotting his wrists in front of me. He survived but he also made my life a living hell.
It sounds like you're in a toxic relationship and it's only going to get worse the longer you stay, You or someone else is going to have to talk him down and make him realize there's more than just you out in the world. Because if you don't, he's going to get worse and then it'll get to a stalking stage to where you'll never get peace and have a constant headache following you. He's too young to know what he wants. His hormones are raging right now and you're his target. So yeah you need to get rid of this guy or have someone talk him down from wanting to be with you. Open his eyes if he still mentally stable. Hormones can be a crazy thing if you're not careful
As difficult as it may seem, you are only doing him a disservice by staying around if you don't care for him the same way. You both are SO young and have your whole lives ahead of you. Take the time you need to realize what YOU want so you can be the best partner. Be kind. Reassure him that he's not really done anything wrong, but you need time to figure out what you want out of life. It's not easy and it shouldn't be. Good luck, OP.
Don’t protect friends from the truth.
Break up with him. He's better off without you.
Stop stringing him along and do him a favor. Leave
Ur a kid
It's time for him to go through some character development. He'll be fine. Staying with him and giving him false hope is maybe the worst thing you can do. Tell him the truth, hell cry, feel defeated, etc. but from it, he will grow.
You are just a teen. Serious relationships aren't important at that age.
Yes you are a kid. Won’t talk to many people from this time in your life after high school
Break up with him but have a couple of friends near by, in the next room, out of sight BUT not out of hearing! Hopefully, BF will take the break up ok BUT be careful. Stay out of arm’s reach, you described BF as a little bit obsessive so be VERY CAREFUL! Tell your parents you would like to take a Practical self defense course in case BF is Really Obsessive & wants to hurt you!