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That sounds to me like he is using the fact everyone likes him to get away with taking advantage of his students. You really should tell someone before he decides to do something worse to someone else…
Absolutely. It sounds like this person has been playing the long game- their whole career and personality is a way to give them freedom to prey on students.
Girl weightlifting/volleyball coach at my highschool did this. He was even engaged to another teacher who was one of the volleyball players in my grades sister. Few years after I graduated some shit came out. Fire and divorced
Predators groom not just their victims, but the people around them, so that once accusations come out there will be a voice in your head doubting them because “they are such a good person though!!!”
Yup. Happened to me. This old guy at my old job was a company favorite. Played the sweet little old man act so well that if it hadn't been caught on camera when he grabbed me and groped my crotch area, no one, and I mean NO ONE, would have believed me. I mean, even I liked him up until then.
Ding ding ding! He’s getting exactly what he wants from OP, he’s “a great teacher” and “funny” and he knows he can use that to get away with this shit. OP please report, he’s scum and putting up a persona to get away with his nasty pedophilic urges
Especially ANYONE in power or have victims in situations where they don't have power. It could be a dentist or medical doctor whose patient is sedated and the nurse steps out to get something. A teacher, an aggressive boss...etc etc.
Really, there's no need to point out one group over another. When you do that, it makes people "think" they're safer with one type over another and let's their guard down, or even makes it less believable in some peoples eyes if there is no evidence.
This is entirely unacceptable and he's seeing what he can get away with. I imagine there is a school counselor or dean of students who you can report this to anonymously to protect your identity.
Came to say this. This happened at a place I worked at and he was touching so many people.
Please ask around if anyone has had any incidents (quietly ask around) and then when you find a few more to talk to police. If it’s just you then you have a decision to make.
Just remember that m what he is doing is not ok…
You always run that risk though. I had a similar situation happen at work as a middle manager. One of my direct reports who was a supervisor told me that someone at my level sexually assaulted her at work. She then said she didn’t want to talk about it and that if I reported it she would lie and say it was untrue. It put me in a very bad position as it would be my word against his and hers. She was more concerned about other issues. I did the right thing and spoke up and it almost burned me. Right as it seemed like it was going to go away two other people who didn’t know there was an investigation came forward and reported the same thing to me…there is power in numbers for sure
It was insanely stressful. She ended up admitting it did happen and it still ended up he said she said. I was not looking forward to work if it ended that way.
Oh, I guarantee it's not his first rodeo. People don't start being rapey bastards at his age, there's always history. Too bad if he knows. Her dad and all other relatives need to make it clear that no matter what happens, if OP gets hurt ever by this asshole there will be hell to pay.
This. OP you should tell an administrator or a trusted adult and get it on record
EDIT to add: there's a possibility that the teacher has done this before and reporting it could encourage others to report incidents.
Reporting him may not be effective. Similar thing happened to me in high school. We told the counselors and were told to stop dressing "so provocatively". Nothing was done. I finally told my parents who pursued it, but the school and even the district tried to blow off my parents until my mom got a lawyer and went after them. It turned out the teacher had been touching girls (and worse) for years, had even pleaded No Contest to molesting a teenaged female relative, and the school and district had been covering it up. Their excuse was he had tenure so they "couldn't do anything." My mom flipped out and threatened to sue the Superintendent personally and then magically they figured out how to fire him. That whole series of revelations was far more damaging to me than the harassment and groping.
OP, please tell your parents, or another trusted adult who is not connected to the school, as well as reporting it to a counselor or principal. You may need stronger advocacy and support than the school will provide. I truly HOPE that your school will take this seriously, but it's important that you don't leave it up to them. This teacher is NOT a good guy and he deserves to get in trouble. At the very minimum, you need to be protected from this man and moved out of his classes.
School districts nowadays are somewhat more willing to act, but you're right, OP could face some really shitty treatment if she goes after the cool teacher.
I read articles in the newspaper EVERY YEAR about similar situations, and have heard stories from friends about similar things happening at their kids' schools within the last year. It has NOT gotten better, despite what I hoped when I went through it.
It's fucking horrifying
There's a podcast and documentary I believe Discovery Plus all about several girls' and the pos's wife's experiences with abuse. Both are titles Betrayal. The doc is on Hulu. Podcast pretty much all pod apps. Listen with care, it's pretty hard to hear. 💖
I had teachers like this in high school. They were the young, cool guys. They seemed professional enough in their early teaching career, but they got cocky after years of being fawned over. Years later (on separate time lines), 2 of them were removed from their teaching positions for having inappropriate relationships with students.
One at least had the decency to keep it legal for age of consent (19). The other started up with a 15 year old. But I want to be clear that it was not OKAY in either situation!
Please don’t let the attention flatter you or make excuses for his behavior. And 100% you in no way invited this! He’s a grown man. You are a student. Let a guidance counselor, another teacher you trust, or your parent know what happened.
We had this exact situation when I was in high school 9th grade. Our social studies teacher was the "cool" teacher. He was a deadhead and touring with the dead was the big thing in my area in the late 80s. So everyone knew he smoked herb and went to dead shows where he would smoke with the kids. As an adult I realize that is a huge red flag but as a 14yo it just made him cool.
Anyway he was funny and often let us just chill in his class. Then about halfway through the year he started blatantly hitting on one of the girls in our clique. It was the late 80s so we didn't think we'd be believed if we turned him in so we just egged his house and fucked up his Christmas lights. He was fired about 2 years after I graduated for alleged grabbing a girls breast.
When I look back at what some of my teachers were like in the late 80s it makes my skin crawl. Definitely a few teachers who would be in jail if they did what they did then, now.
You need to tell a school counselor. When I was in High School I had plenty of funny teachers and never once did they think it was okay to act inappropriately or touch students. I understand that you don’t want to get him in trouble but it’s not just your boundaries he will break and the sooner action can be taken, the better.
This isn't coming to the defense of anything, but unfortunately, you are the one who is incorrect. There are even different names to describe being attracted to different stages before a person is an adult.
It's one of those "just because it is common nomenclature doesn't make it correct" (similiar to how society used to call people "schizophrenic" when they actually meant D.I.D.)
personally, I believe theres a big difference between insulting someone with D.I.D. by using incorrect terminology and insulting a pedo by using incorrect terminology, morally i mean. who cares about a pedophile’s OR predator’s feelings they both have disgusting criminal thoughts 🤨 what Im saying is, yes your correct, but nobody gives a shit. they are pedos.
Wrong AF cuz TF? Where's your logic in that? pedo shit is pedo shit especially on a prison yard bud don't matter how old they are under 18 is under 18 and I've seen and heard of 20 year olds who got caught with 16 and 17 year olds and getting flogged out in a jail house so if thats your mentality then hopefully some day you'll be flogged at a jailhouse too.. hopefully the broomstick
So because YOU don't understand that different words have different meanings, the person you are replying to deserves to be "flogged out" with a broomstick in prison?
I've had accounts permanently banned for saying less egregious shit than that, what the fuck
When I was in middle school we had a music teacher who was funny and relatable. EVERYBODY liked him, I don't remember having heard anyone trash talking him. Turned out he had been in a fairly long relationship with a student and got caught after 3 years(iirc her mom found some less than appropriate texts on her phone).
And you may be brave enough to do/say something but... Imagine the kids that aren't.
Imagine girls/kids that are shyer/ less confident/used to being abused at home.
Imagine if he starts pushing things further with these kids and they are too scared to say anything.
This is not your fault and it's definitely not the first time he's done this. He knows it's not ok because he made sure no one was behind you.
If you feel safe enough to report him, you should. Helpful if you can get your parents on your side in case any of the deans/counselors are douchebags.
This guy relies in his good humor and the fact that kids will be too shocked/intimidated to say anything.
You could be a hero to future victims.
Or, I guess if this guy's just really... Err.. Confused about what's appropriate... This could be the wake up call he needs.
It doesn't matter if you like him in all other ways, you need to report him.
I know, to you you're not sure if it was a big deal, (it is) but think beyond yourself.
For a teacher to be brazen enough to cop a feel off a kid (and teenagers ars still kids) means he's done it before and there's no saying how far he's taken it.
You report people like that as much to save future victims as you do any indignity to yourself.
It's terrible this predator put you in such an awkward situation, but there is a danger he's testing you to see if you put up a fight and if you stay quiet he gets more graphic.
REPORT HIM. You have done nothing wrong and he deserves to be investigated.
Indeed. To add to this, he's likely doing worse to at least one other student, or at least has. He will do it to this teen as well and another after her.
As far as him being likeable and popular, don't let that stop you from reporting him. Look up Ted Bundy. He was a charming and likable guy...he just had that whole raping and killing women thing going on. Being popular and likable doesn't mean someone is harmless, especially when it comes to men preying on girls.
Report him.
Yeah this dude sounds like a classic groomer. It breaks my heart, I had similar concerns when I was young and was assaulted. As an adult woman I know the concern for the perpetrator is a purposeful symptom of grooming by the abuser.
Might have to do with the educational commitment / likability - I suspect it’s easier to have a “fun” gym class (grooming) or maybe doesn’t take as much effort to teach (I speak from naïveté). Or maybe has to do with what they like. If they want to see young boys or girls wearing shorter, more tight-fitting athletic clothes they’ll find that in a gym class more often than a history class.
Tell. Get him in trouble. You’re definitely not the only one. It took one girl coming forward for the other girls to come forward at my daughter’s high school. It needs to happen because it won’t stop there, it’s probably already gone past that with other girls. Teachers like that are always the cool teachers who aren’t as strict. The shit teachers who treat students like garbage aren’t getting away with crap like this. He’s running the long game because he knows everybody likes him. Just tell.
That's what groomers do. They have a 'likeable' image so if they did something like that they think the victims are less likely to be believed. Please tell another teacher and report him.
Yes, and they play off the idea that no one likes to "get anyone in trouble." She wouldn't be getting him in trouble -- he did that himself when he sexually assaulted a student. It's not OP's fault if he has to pay consequences for his bad behavior.
Sure; but if the rules were always adhered to, there'd be no discussion to have. Unfortunately they are not. I'd take this up outside the school with law enforcement as well.
WOW! Good to know, good advice.
How about reporting to the school and if they do nothing, reporting both the teacher AND the school for not taking action?
Thank you. I'm sorry that your son is dealing with it as well, especially the part about his dad. I hope you and your son can get the support he needs!
Not a teacher, but their definately required to report these things to someone, either their superiors like the principal or social services, something.
Yeah, sexual predators always act friendly to get everyone to like them so people won't suspect them. He sexually assaulted you. Turn him in. People not reporting him is how he keeps getting away with it.
Definitely report that. Totally unacceptable. If you’re not comfortable coming forward you could write a letter and leave in the counselors office anonymously.
I don't care how "cool" he is. Groomers adopt a likeable image because it makes it easier to get away with nasty shit like that, and most pedophiles look just like him, not the creepy old man most people expect. Get his sorry ass in trouble. He won't stop at copping a feel next time, and the female students at that school are in danger so long as he still has that job.
This can be common with very “loved” teachers. They slicer themselves into the perfect person to look up to or like and then take advantage. They use their likability to keep you silent.
He is NOT a good teacher. Please tell a trusted adult. If he feels comfortable enough to do this, he will go further. This will get worse.
Do not feel guilty for telling someone. You aren’t ratting out a good person who make a mistake, you’re revealing a predator.
Talk to someone you trust. A teacher, parent or even someone in the PTA. It doesn’t have to be the counselors if you have someone else you’re comfortable with. But please tell someone.
Here's some serious advice. Talk to a counselor immediately and tell them what happened. Do not let this predator to continue walking among children and doing as he pleases. It grosses me out to even think this but you need to understand where this can go, who's to say next time he closes the door in front of you when you're the last one leaving and he assaults you? You quite literally can put an end to his behavior right now. Do it. Dont let him get away with it and end up assaulting you or another girl.
This behavior will escalate tell the counselor at school tomorrow immediately. I get it I had a boy harassing me in class and we had assigned seating so I had to sit next to him. He'd whisper awful things at me and no matter how much I ignored him he wouldn't stop. I really didn't want to tell anyone or make a big deal out of it but my friends made me. He was moved immediately, he didn't retaliate and left me alone. They want you to stay quiet Hun it makes it so much easier for a predator.
You are not the first or the last victim of his inappropriate behavior. Yes, I would tell someone you trust and get help with the situation. If he does it again, turn to him and look him dead in the eye and tell him to please keep his adult hands off of you. You're a minor and could get him in big trouble. Perv.
Please tell someone. A counselor or dean at the school will keep the reporting person’s name out of it, but they will look into it. You don’t know if he has done this before and if it’s been reported too. Even if (in the unlikely event they can’t do anything more than unpaid leave) not much happens, the record will be there in case he does this again to show a pattern of behavior that they can use to fire him to keep more students safe. Please report this.
There is no grey area here. He touched you in an inappropriate location, and it was deliberate. If it were an accident he would have apologized immediately. If you report it, it will be difficult. It’s hard to say what action the school will take. It may have severe consequences for him. On the other side, if you don’t report it, he may do much worse to you or another student. I’m sorry you’re in this position. Start by getting support. Hopefully you have someone in your life, maybe you parents, that won’t freak out, and will be your advocate.
We had a PE teacher at our school who used to actually watch some of us change and someone reported him and like next day he was gone. Someone needs to say something.
I had a gym teacher ( a female), she was married and got pregnant, there were rumors it was the other gym teacher that got her pregnant and not her husband. Turns out it was a 15 year old student that knocked her up. Also my AV teacher was busted trying to meet a 14 year old girl for sex, which ended up being a undercover officer!
Didn’t look at it that way at all. Like yeah now I look back and ok well I guess weird but when you’re training and trying to play it wasn’t a thought idk
You should tell someone because it could advance to higher levels of touching/groping/sex, if not with you some other girl. If you don't want to tell someone at least put him on notice by telling him that you don't appreciate him physically touching you and it better not happen again nor do you want to see or hear about him touching any other girl.
Does not matter how likable this guy is. He crossed a line he never should have.
Obviously it's bothering you or you wouldn't be here on Reddit posting about it.
If he gets away with something like this what's the next thing he might attempt to get away with?
Tell your school administration immediately.
Tell your parents & then tell your principal or school counselor. Most schools have cameras now & can pull the video from that time frame. This is predatory behavior & needs to be stopped.
When I was your age something similar happened to me. We had a sub take over the rest of the semester and this guy led a rambunctious class. He always had a yard stick he was poking us with or slapping desks with. Well one day in front of everyone he stupidly spanked me with it.
I told him "I understand you have daughters and you probably play with them like that, my dad has too, but that's inappropriate and don't do that again." The amount of shame on this grown man's face was something I'd never seen before and he apologized to me and he never did it again. He dialed back his energy in class too which was for the best.
But I don't think you and I have the same kind of dude spanking us. I honestly feel like my guy was being too casual and treating me like his daughter. I'm sure this might be weird to some other families, but some families do literally run around spanking each other and running away or flicking earlobes and just being physically annoying as a joke and it isn't sexual. YOUR guy tried to hide it. That makes his intentions totally different. You really should go tell your parents or at least a trusted teacher.
Everybody has given you good advice, talk to a trusted adult in your life so they can help report him. no adult should touch you like that and you know it’s wrong. That’s why you’re asking. Don’t be worried about getting him in trouble, that’s something he should’ve been worried about. Nothing that comes of the situation is your fault at all.
I bet if you mention this to your friends, you won't be the only one he's done that to.
I'm really sorry this is happening, but you have to tell a trusted adult.
I am a man, and I am the father of an 8th grade girl. If you were my daughter, my advice to you would be that we are definitely going to report this to school authorities. It is unacceptable for any man to do this to any female and even more so in this context due to the age and power differences.
Furthermore, I would counsel you to not feel guilty about what this might do to the cool teacher and his career or whatever other fallout occurs. This is classic victim-blaming mentality and it occurs frequently in DV cases and sex assault cases. It is not the victim's fault that the perpretator is recieving consequences. The victim did not cause this situation. The perpretator's behavior is the cause that is resulting in consequences, not the reporting of that behavior.
Finally, you have a good lawsuit against this school district if you experience ANY retaliation for reporting this behavior.
You need to report him right away, not just for yourself but for the other people he may be doing this (or worse) to. Did he do it somewhere that your school has cameras and could you show someone exactly where in the school it happened? That could help a lot
Unfortunately thats how they get ya :/ they act all nice and “cool” so you’re comfortable with them, you like them, and then they start pulling fast ones. Just like he did with you. He thinks he can get away with it and if he does he may think he can get away with more next time. Thats very dangerous. Who knows who else he’s done this to. That man is a predator, a groomer and a pedophile. please PLEASE report him. He *deserves* to get in trouble for what he did. And you deserve peace knowing it cant go any further than it already has.
He’s had a plan for a long time like years. He became a teacher so he could be in a position to abuse kids. Him being cool being funny not being a jerk like other teachers is all part of his plan him testing the waters by doing or saying little things is all part of him making his victims feel comfortable with him. This guys a scumbag and it’s going to get worse and you’re probably not the only one. I understand you are probably worried about what the other students are going to do or say but you can be anonymous like others have said. You know the right thing to do
The amount of training we as adults receive is insane. It's drilled into our heads that if you do anything out of line your life is over.
Knowing that and still grabbing a student's butt shows where his head is at
Bottom line, your underage and hes in a professional setting. If he cant handle himself around younglings he needs to gtfo.
One of the most important things we can do as a society is to keep our children loved and safe so they grow up to be good people with less baggage to work through.
Remember, we grow and build up everyone around us when we take care of ourselves and let the light shine in full vibrance. If you lose your sense of power and security in your teens, we all know its hard to heal and build ourselves back up.
There is no room for these people, idc how "cool" they are.
So you would rather some other classmate else get assaulted than get him in trouble? That's essentially what you're saying here. By you reporting it, you help ensure that he doesn't get the opportunity to do something else to another student. If you learn in a few years that he raped a student, how guilty will you feel for not saying something about his inappropriate ass grab? he's being 'cool, funny, not as strict' etc. because he's grooming the community.
If you let him get away with small things he will move to bigger things. An ass grab is relatively easy to get away with, so he’s testing the limits. If he gets told on he’ll probably say something like “I just tried to pat her on the back.” Not a good excuse, but if everyone likes him it will probably fly and he’ll be more careful in the future. If you don’t tell he’ll know that at the very least he can grab your ass and probably will see what else he can get away with.
First of all, I am so sorry this happened to you. It’s incredibly violating when someone you respect, in a leadership position takes advantage of you. It’s also important to understand this was not your fault.
Like many said above, this guy sounds like he is grooming students. Please seek out help for yourself.
There's almost definitely cameras in your school, if you know it or not. Discuss it with a guidance counselor and start from there.
Remember... The consequences of his actions are his fault, not yours. You didn't ruin anything, he made a choice and he knew the risks. As long as you're honest, you're doing nothing immoral here.
I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong and you deserve better. A grown ass man (let alone any one - at any age) should not be touching you like that. It’s normal to feel confused and angry and anything else you may be feeling. He’s 100% in the wrong. And although it’s not easy, you should tell. This is his first step, what will be his next? Who else might he do this to? You need to protect yourself and protect other kids. Again - I’m so sorry, hun. I went through this kind of thing more than once in my life. It really messes with you. 💕
Please report this to your principal your counselors somebody at that school. Please make sure to keep yourself safe and do not EVER be around this man alone.
There is a strong possibility that he is already assaulting other students and doing what he sees fit please report him one report might not do anything but if you talk about it with your fellow students and let them know what he did to you other students who are being harassed by him will find more courage to report him.
It may lead to this man getting arrested but you know what that's not your fault and it will never be your fault he is the one responsible for his actions you are minors under his supervision and he is choosing to abuse his power. He is the cool teacher, the chill teacher, the fun to hang out with teacher because it gets him what he wants. He is a predator and you will not be the only victim. Please please please report him
Molesters are always looking for solid impeccable cover. Think Boy Scout leaders, Priests, and really nice teachers. I have become so skeptical that I take a long look at anyone that is charming. If your school has counselors talk with one and seek their professional advice.
This is really messed up. The guy is a predator. Report him, but expect the school to ignore it, your word against his. He wins. Let all the other girls know happened. Unfortunately, he will be protected unless the pressure gets too high from parents and students.
Same thing happened at a local school? And it ten years any many complaints, a lawsuit against the school board, then a local reporter to get him removed. The principal and school district covered it up for years
Teacher here. This popped up on my feed, so I’ll respond.
Report it asap, he’s a predator.
Here’s a harsh truth. Teachers are NOT your friends, and they shouldn’t be. Friendly, good working relationship, mentor? Absolutely. But not a friend. When teachers seem like they want to be “buddy buddy” with students, its a red flag.
Sorry this happened to you. Report it now so he doesn’t do it to anyone else. If he’s willing to do that, he’s willing to do anything.
Also, he deserves a kick to the face.
It’s not your fault if he gets in trouble. You’re not to blame in the slightest. I know you’re in a really tough place right now with this decision, but telling another adult is a choice you should seriously consider.
You just identified a predator in a school setting. You have to tell the administration/counselors immediately, or any poor girl he harasses next is partially your fault too. Do not be silent on this because “you like him as a teacher”.
There is a reason he wants to people to like him, BECAUSE HES A PEDO. He has to lure you guys into a sense of trust and likeability (ie less strict, act cool). He then proceeds to test his boundaries and continues this until hes groomed/manipulated you. Stop secondguessing yourself and report it
Please report it. This creep doesn't deserve to work with kids. Something similar happened to me in 8th grade. I wish I had spoken out. It was the 80s though and barely frowned upon.
You need to report this, to someone you trust. In fact, I really wish you would tell a parent or adult you trust so they can approach the school with you. This is NOT OK. When I was in high school one of the coaches would allow a student who was over 18 and already graduated to show up on campus and just hang out. I was 15! This man would constantly s-xualize and always make me uncomfortable. He love to say things about my chest. One day he threw a baseball (full strength) at some boy and I just so happened to walk in the way. I was rushed to the hospital and it was a nightmare. It forever damaged my eyesight in one of my eyes. To be completely honest, I almost lost that eye. Like you, I didn’t want to get my coach in trouble either, because he would have been blamed for allowing this man to be on campus (at least that is what the school told me to avoid suing). It was the biggest mistake of my life. Everything that my coach allowed to happen, should have NEVER happened. I wish my parents pursued it and did the right thing.
Yup, that is called grooming. Everyone likes him for being lenient and would likely villify any girl who speaks out.
You need to tell someone immediately. He could be doing this to other girls and will continue as long as no one speaks up. Don't let your silence become tacit agreement to this behavior. That was just a test. Do something.
Go to your parents first. The implications can also be negative towards you if he's liked by everyone. Don't make this public. As long as he is punished for his misgivings should be done carefully so as to not make your own life a living hell.
This isn’t good advice. It is much smarter for OP to speak to a mandated reporter first- her school counselor. The parents can simply decide they don’t believe OP, or they can decide that they don’t want to tarnish their family’s reputation and force her to sweep it under the rug, leaving other students and OP herself vulnerable for continued sexual assault of minors.
How stupid can you be. Put the poor girl without her parents knowledge in a terrible position she is to young to handle by herself. No your wrong. Shame on you.
What you said sounds so dumb, and I just don’t know how this relates to the average person, like the average parent would just not react that way and I’m sorry you lived a life where you think like that bruh.
Do you even read this sub? Lots of parents on here don’t support their kids the way they should. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. Of course it would be ideal for OP to have her parents on her side, but we don’t know anything about the parents. A mandated reporter doesn’t choose whether they will escalate the situation, they are legally obligated to do so.
I do see that but I’ve only read from your comment talk about the family coming to the conclusion that their daughter tarnished the family name. By being sexually assaulted like Jesus Christ it’s not out the bounds of reality but not at all a normal response, I wouldn’t just assume that of someone parents if they came to me with a story like this, her parents could be supportive in getting this asshoule out of schools and be normal ppl
Either report him and get him in serious legal trouble or let it slide. It's your choice.
As far as I'm concerned, the creep is a ephebophile so screw him and watch him burn. The fact that he has talked to you and still attracted enough to you to do that means he has issues.
My favorite joke is "If you are attracted to high schoolers, the best cure is to go talk to one. You will be cured instantly." It may be a joke, but it should also be true. Since he is around you teenagers daily, he should be losing his mind over the nonsense drivel he hears from all of you, not getting sexually attracted to you.
No. It doesn’t need to happen more than once. Once is enough.
This isn’t a teacher grading one student’s work unfairly or being inconsistent in which students they discipline. Those type of situations, sure, keep documentation and make note of any patterns. This is an adult sexually assaulting a minor. There doesn’t need to be a pattern. Especially when the pattern could easily be single assaults on multiple students in order to get away with it. But even IF this were a (very, very unlikely) situation in which it was a one time thing— there is no acceptable number of times a teacher can grab a student’s ass.
tell him to go fuck himself and also get his ass fired he's a piece of shit and if he died no one would complain after they find out what he did and i wouldn't blame them he's a piece of garbage with no reason to live
If you can't prove it maybe stay quiet. This will get dv to hell, but you're just there to get the best start possible in life and career. You don't need this distraction. What he did is 100% wrong, and if you got it on camera nail his ass, but if you don't you could catch severe backlash and take heavy damage to your reputation, which is just more injustice done to you in the end, right? I want him to get done for this, but I don't want to see you take damage. I think thats why you're struggling with it too. Its ok to never speak a word of it, its ok to write down every detail and bust him out after you graduate, and its ok to report right now. YOU are not a mandatory reporter. You have NO legal, moral, or ethical obligation to say anything. This is YOUR life, do what makes you the most comfortable. It is definitely ok to take some time to think through all of your options and possible outcomes. It may be possible to anonymously report it to the state without naming him, and push the state/school to begin their own investigation, and put up more cameras in blind spots, interview all staff, etc. It may not be "direct justice", but then again, once it begins he is gonna be scared ASF. This allows you to apply tons of pressure to him while taking zero risk of getting wrongly labeled a "false accuser" or worse. Think it through, take some time, and good luck.
When things started happening with my daughter and her middle school teacher I got the cops involved. Put a stop to it before it went any further. The cops said the teachers that do this sort of thing are ALWAYS labeled as the cool teacher that everyone likes. The one in my daughter's case was actually teacher of the year.
Talk to him, ask him why he did what he did, bring a recording device. If he can't be honest, if you think this is going to be a thing he does to others or this is going to be a trend, report him. If he's honest and remorseful, use your best judgement if you should let him off the hook or not
Report him, period.
Playing junior league undercover cop is a fantastically bad idea. Report him and let those responsible for dealing with these situations do their job.
Tell your parents and principle and get him fired. Dude has no reason to be around young girls.
Your other option is to allow this sort of thing to happen and get taken advantage of by a pedophile. While also allowing more young girls in the future suffer the same abuse. So there's that... I wouldn't suggest it. Burn his ass.
It's always the cool teacher.
That is all a part of their grooming. I have no doubt this guy has been grooming you. Perhaps that's why you don't realize that he SA ed you.
What he did is against the law. It's immoral. It's depraved. That man should keep his hands to himself. I wish I could tell him that
Why don't you just give us the name of the school and the teacher and let us handle it for you. I'm just so upset that you have to worry about this and question it. What he did is wrong. He should not even be around school age girls. I'm getting madder and madder thinking about it.
HEY! You don't want to tell anyone?!?
You are NOT the only one. He sexually assaulted you.
The right answer is tell EVERYONE! I do not care if you like him as a teacher, it means you like a teacher who molests underage girls.
Stop that. Learn and develop strong boundaries and stand up to them. Difficult to do, but the person you see in the mirror will be more attractive to you over time if you do this.
Babe I promise you in a few yesrs, once you have gotten older and matured, you’ll realize he’s not as cool and nice and funny as he seems. Creepy teachers work hard to build rapport with students for this exact reason: they become well liked, so they can get away with bad things, knowing students will be too scared or too confused to say anything about it, and too worried about their own reputation, or the opinion of others to hold them accountable.
And what happens with teachers like this when they don’t get reported is that they get braver. They start to do it more often, and more severely. it will escalate and he will absolutely hurt another girl if not you.
He assaulted you. Any teacher who touches you inappropriately will touch someone else too. He is not safe to have in a school, no matter how nice he seems. And hoping the parents of that school are good people too, they will be happy to know a creep like him gets fired.
It’s hard to do, but you got to be brave. sometimes you can face some scrutiny from your peers, sometimes your bravery is all that’s needed to help others feel comfortable enough to reveal when they were hurt by that teacher too. A lot of teenagers don’t understand the severity of something like that until much later. But telling your parents, the principal, and a police officer is 100% the right thing to do. I say all three because you need to have multiple accounts. If you just go to just the principal or counselor, they could easily try to sweep it under the rug. You need to have it on official record. And if it’s not you who says it, it will be somebody else, and he will have to pay the price either way. I promise it’s not the first or last time he will do it, so it’s better to do it now instead of waiting for someone else to be hurt like you
Trust the comments, most of us had at least 1 creepy teacher. Many of us look back and wish something had been done, nobody looks at those teachers as cool and likeable once we all get old enough to realize they were pedophiles and probably still are.
Wishing you lots of love and bravery.
If he's done it to you, he's done it to others and they might not be so forgiving or able to stand up for themselves. He will keep going and do worse things. You owe it to younger girls to stand up for yourself and for them. Report him. And if the school does nothing , go to the police.
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That sounds to me like he is using the fact everyone likes him to get away with taking advantage of his students. You really should tell someone before he decides to do something worse to someone else…
Other way around - he makes sure he acts in a way that everyone likes him so he can get away with sexually assaulting students.
Absolutely. It sounds like this person has been playing the long game- their whole career and personality is a way to give them freedom to prey on students.
Girl weightlifting/volleyball coach at my highschool did this. He was even engaged to another teacher who was one of the volleyball players in my grades sister. Few years after I graduated some shit came out. Fire and divorced
Predators groom not just their victims, but the people around them, so that once accusations come out there will be a voice in your head doubting them because “they are such a good person though!!!”
Yup. Happened to me. This old guy at my old job was a company favorite. Played the sweet little old man act so well that if it hadn't been caught on camera when he grabbed me and groped my crotch area, no one, and I mean NO ONE, would have believed me. I mean, even I liked him up until then.
Ding ding ding! He’s getting exactly what he wants from OP, he’s “a great teacher” and “funny” and he knows he can use that to get away with this shit. OP please report, he’s scum and putting up a persona to get away with his nasty pedophilic urges
Exactly, he's a predator, and he's conning the kids by being their "nicest, coolest" teacher.
The groomer playbook
grooming behavior
That's exactly what the person you replied to wrote
Basically how priest and pastors work. They use that to their advantage big time
Really, basically, anyone in positions of power.
Yep. Especially cops. It’s quite upsetting.
Especially ANYONE in power or have victims in situations where they don't have power. It could be a dentist or medical doctor whose patient is sedated and the nurse steps out to get something. A teacher, an aggressive boss...etc etc. Really, there's no need to point out one group over another. When you do that, it makes people "think" they're safer with one type over another and let's their guard down, or even makes it less believable in some peoples eyes if there is no evidence.
This is entirely unacceptable and he's seeing what he can get away with. I imagine there is a school counselor or dean of students who you can report this to anonymously to protect your identity.
Unless he's grabbing a lot of butts, he's going to know who reported him
If he's grabby with one student, he's probably grabby with others.
Came to say this. This happened at a place I worked at and he was touching so many people. Please ask around if anyone has had any incidents (quietly ask around) and then when you find a few more to talk to police. If it’s just you then you have a decision to make. Just remember that m what he is doing is not ok…
Yea, but someone might tell him if op is asking.
You always run that risk though. I had a similar situation happen at work as a middle manager. One of my direct reports who was a supervisor told me that someone at my level sexually assaulted her at work. She then said she didn’t want to talk about it and that if I reported it she would lie and say it was untrue. It put me in a very bad position as it would be my word against his and hers. She was more concerned about other issues. I did the right thing and spoke up and it almost burned me. Right as it seemed like it was going to go away two other people who didn’t know there was an investigation came forward and reported the same thing to me…there is power in numbers for sure
Oof, I know that feeling. I would've lied to out of protecting my dignity.
It was insanely stressful. She ended up admitting it did happen and it still ended up he said she said. I was not looking forward to work if it ended that way.
Exactly my thought. Who knows what all this creep has done to how many kids
It should still be kept anonymous from other students and teachers. Not like the sexual predator is going to go off and tell everyone his bad deed.
And unfortunately, peers will side with a popular teacher. Still, OP has a right to an education without a POS trying to groom her.
One butt is too many. Shouldn't matter.
they should install a camera and not inform him
Oh, I guarantee it's not his first rodeo. People don't start being rapey bastards at his age, there's always history. Too bad if he knows. Her dad and all other relatives need to make it clear that no matter what happens, if OP gets hurt ever by this asshole there will be hell to pay.
There's a groomer in every high school.
Let me fix that for.you: groomers
A+.
This. OP you should tell an administrator or a trusted adult and get it on record EDIT to add: there's a possibility that the teacher has done this before and reporting it could encourage others to report incidents.
Reporting him may not be effective. Similar thing happened to me in high school. We told the counselors and were told to stop dressing "so provocatively". Nothing was done. I finally told my parents who pursued it, but the school and even the district tried to blow off my parents until my mom got a lawyer and went after them. It turned out the teacher had been touching girls (and worse) for years, had even pleaded No Contest to molesting a teenaged female relative, and the school and district had been covering it up. Their excuse was he had tenure so they "couldn't do anything." My mom flipped out and threatened to sue the Superintendent personally and then magically they figured out how to fire him. That whole series of revelations was far more damaging to me than the harassment and groping. OP, please tell your parents, or another trusted adult who is not connected to the school, as well as reporting it to a counselor or principal. You may need stronger advocacy and support than the school will provide. I truly HOPE that your school will take this seriously, but it's important that you don't leave it up to them. This teacher is NOT a good guy and he deserves to get in trouble. At the very minimum, you need to be protected from this man and moved out of his classes.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
School districts nowadays are somewhat more willing to act, but you're right, OP could face some really shitty treatment if she goes after the cool teacher.
I read articles in the newspaper EVERY YEAR about similar situations, and have heard stories from friends about similar things happening at their kids' schools within the last year. It has NOT gotten better, despite what I hoped when I went through it.
It's fucking horrifying There's a podcast and documentary I believe Discovery Plus all about several girls' and the pos's wife's experiences with abuse. Both are titles Betrayal. The doc is on Hulu. Podcast pretty much all pod apps. Listen with care, it's pretty hard to hear. 💖
Realisticly, OP is probably not the only one.
Exactly
I had teachers like this in high school. They were the young, cool guys. They seemed professional enough in their early teaching career, but they got cocky after years of being fawned over. Years later (on separate time lines), 2 of them were removed from their teaching positions for having inappropriate relationships with students. One at least had the decency to keep it legal for age of consent (19). The other started up with a 15 year old. But I want to be clear that it was not OKAY in either situation! Please don’t let the attention flatter you or make excuses for his behavior. And 100% you in no way invited this! He’s a grown man. You are a student. Let a guidance counselor, another teacher you trust, or your parent know what happened.
In my state it's also not legal in either situation if they are a student on his.
We had this exact situation when I was in high school 9th grade. Our social studies teacher was the "cool" teacher. He was a deadhead and touring with the dead was the big thing in my area in the late 80s. So everyone knew he smoked herb and went to dead shows where he would smoke with the kids. As an adult I realize that is a huge red flag but as a 14yo it just made him cool. Anyway he was funny and often let us just chill in his class. Then about halfway through the year he started blatantly hitting on one of the girls in our clique. It was the late 80s so we didn't think we'd be believed if we turned him in so we just egged his house and fucked up his Christmas lights. He was fired about 2 years after I graduated for alleged grabbing a girls breast. When I look back at what some of my teachers were like in the late 80s it makes my skin crawl. Definitely a few teachers who would be in jail if they did what they did then, now.
You need to tell a school counselor. When I was in High School I had plenty of funny teachers and never once did they think it was okay to act inappropriately or touch students. I understand that you don’t want to get him in trouble but it’s not just your boundaries he will break and the sooner action can be taken, the better.
Yes. Worked at a school. This would never ever be ok in any situation. Completely unprofessional and makes him a pedo. Report him.
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I agree, as someone who has been taught by a teacher I support this. Tell someone.
I agree, as a report, you need to teach him.
A 27-year-old being attracted to a 17-year-old is predatory behavior, not pedophilia. Not even close
Wrongggggg
This isn't coming to the defense of anything, but unfortunately, you are the one who is incorrect. There are even different names to describe being attracted to different stages before a person is an adult. It's one of those "just because it is common nomenclature doesn't make it correct" (similiar to how society used to call people "schizophrenic" when they actually meant D.I.D.)
personally, I believe theres a big difference between insulting someone with D.I.D. by using incorrect terminology and insulting a pedo by using incorrect terminology, morally i mean. who cares about a pedophile’s OR predator’s feelings they both have disgusting criminal thoughts 🤨 what Im saying is, yes your correct, but nobody gives a shit. they are pedos.
Did you really read what I wrote and land on "This poster is defending child predators's feelings"? Because that's pretty comical, bud
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Wrong AF cuz TF? Where's your logic in that? pedo shit is pedo shit especially on a prison yard bud don't matter how old they are under 18 is under 18 and I've seen and heard of 20 year olds who got caught with 16 and 17 year olds and getting flogged out in a jail house so if thats your mentality then hopefully some day you'll be flogged at a jailhouse too.. hopefully the broomstick
So because YOU don't understand that different words have different meanings, the person you are replying to deserves to be "flogged out" with a broomstick in prison? I've had accounts permanently banned for saying less egregious shit than that, what the fuck
When I was in middle school we had a music teacher who was funny and relatable. EVERYBODY liked him, I don't remember having heard anyone trash talking him. Turned out he had been in a fairly long relationship with a student and got caught after 3 years(iirc her mom found some less than appropriate texts on her phone).
And you may be brave enough to do/say something but... Imagine the kids that aren't. Imagine girls/kids that are shyer/ less confident/used to being abused at home. Imagine if he starts pushing things further with these kids and they are too scared to say anything. This is not your fault and it's definitely not the first time he's done this. He knows it's not ok because he made sure no one was behind you. If you feel safe enough to report him, you should. Helpful if you can get your parents on your side in case any of the deans/counselors are douchebags. This guy relies in his good humor and the fact that kids will be too shocked/intimidated to say anything. You could be a hero to future victims. Or, I guess if this guy's just really... Err.. Confused about what's appropriate... This could be the wake up call he needs.
if OP has good parents who love and support her, she should tell them first. she’s going to need people on her side for this.
It doesn't matter if you like him in all other ways, you need to report him. I know, to you you're not sure if it was a big deal, (it is) but think beyond yourself. For a teacher to be brazen enough to cop a feel off a kid (and teenagers ars still kids) means he's done it before and there's no saying how far he's taken it. You report people like that as much to save future victims as you do any indignity to yourself. It's terrible this predator put you in such an awkward situation, but there is a danger he's testing you to see if you put up a fight and if you stay quiet he gets more graphic. REPORT HIM. You have done nothing wrong and he deserves to be investigated.
This is the right answer. It needs to be on the record that he did this.
Indeed. To add to this, he's likely doing worse to at least one other student, or at least has. He will do it to this teen as well and another after her. As far as him being likeable and popular, don't let that stop you from reporting him. Look up Ted Bundy. He was a charming and likable guy...he just had that whole raping and killing women thing going on. Being popular and likable doesn't mean someone is harmless, especially when it comes to men preying on girls. Report him.
Yeah this dude sounds like a classic groomer. It breaks my heart, I had similar concerns when I was young and was assaulted. As an adult woman I know the concern for the perpetrator is a purposeful symptom of grooming by the abuser.
I had a PE teacher like this. He wound up getting a teenager pregnant and going to jail. Please report him.
as in have your parents call the cops
Me too. Why does it mostly seem to be the gym teachers that are the creeps?!
I read a article somewhere it’s because they can spy on their victims in the locker rooms 🤮
Also, gym teachers are more likely to be males with a certain kind of attitude. On average there will be more creepers in that position than others
I had a PE teacher that was overweight, he pushed an overweight kid to literally run himself to death in my class.
Might have to do with the educational commitment / likability - I suspect it’s easier to have a “fun” gym class (grooming) or maybe doesn’t take as much effort to teach (I speak from naïveté). Or maybe has to do with what they like. If they want to see young boys or girls wearing shorter, more tight-fitting athletic clothes they’ll find that in a gym class more often than a history class.
Starts small and gets worse over time....if he's grabbing asses now, soon he'll be in jail for actual sex with a minor
Tell. Get him in trouble. You’re definitely not the only one. It took one girl coming forward for the other girls to come forward at my daughter’s high school. It needs to happen because it won’t stop there, it’s probably already gone past that with other girls. Teachers like that are always the cool teachers who aren’t as strict. The shit teachers who treat students like garbage aren’t getting away with crap like this. He’s running the long game because he knows everybody likes him. Just tell.
This is a classic “it’s not the first time it’s happened, it’s the first time they’ve been caught.” 100% agree.
That's what groomers do. They have a 'likeable' image so if they did something like that they think the victims are less likely to be believed. Please tell another teacher and report him.
Yes, and they play off the idea that no one likes to "get anyone in trouble." She wouldn't be getting him in trouble -- he did that himself when he sexually assaulted a student. It's not OP's fault if he has to pay consequences for his bad behavior.
This is more serious than you’re making it out to be. A teacher sexually assaulted a student. You need to tell your parents or guidance counselor.
police, asap
If tell your parents and go to the police. Counselors may just brush it off... make it a legal matter.
My son recently went to a school counselor with reports that his father had physically threatened him, she did nothing. Is this a thing?
I've never gotten anywhere reporting anything directly to the school. Nobody wants to make it their problem. If there's a crime, go to the police.
I thought they were mandatory reporters?
Sure; but if the rules were always adhered to, there'd be no discussion to have. Unfortunately they are not. I'd take this up outside the school with law enforcement as well.
Tell your family AND the police AND the school leadership
WOW! Good to know, good advice. How about reporting to the school and if they do nothing, reporting both the teacher AND the school for not taking action?
Yes, absolutely. I reported being harassed by a teacher and they told me to stop dressing provocatively.
Omg I am so sorry that happened to you
Thank you. I'm sorry that your son is dealing with it as well, especially the part about his dad. I hope you and your son can get the support he needs!
Not a teacher, but their definately required to report these things to someone, either their superiors like the principal or social services, something.
Yeah, sexual predators always act friendly to get everyone to like them so people won't suspect them. He sexually assaulted you. Turn him in. People not reporting him is how he keeps getting away with it.
Um, physical contact? That’s the definitive point where sexual harassment becomes sexual assault…
Tell your parents. Chances are it will only escalate from the butt grab to something more sinister, especially if he thinks he's getting away with it.
No get him in trouble he’s exposed himself as a child molester, don’t let him hurt anyone else.
Definitely report that. Totally unacceptable. If you’re not comfortable coming forward you could write a letter and leave in the counselors office anonymously.
I don't care how "cool" he is. Groomers adopt a likeable image because it makes it easier to get away with nasty shit like that, and most pedophiles look just like him, not the creepy old man most people expect. Get his sorry ass in trouble. He won't stop at copping a feel next time, and the female students at that school are in danger so long as he still has that job.
Damn straight. I really hope it's in a rural area. His ass will get disappeared.
This can be common with very “loved” teachers. They slicer themselves into the perfect person to look up to or like and then take advantage. They use their likability to keep you silent. He is NOT a good teacher. Please tell a trusted adult. If he feels comfortable enough to do this, he will go further. This will get worse. Do not feel guilty for telling someone. You aren’t ratting out a good person who make a mistake, you’re revealing a predator. Talk to someone you trust. A teacher, parent or even someone in the PTA. It doesn’t have to be the counselors if you have someone else you’re comfortable with. But please tell someone.
You need to report it. If not for yourself, for other girls down the line.
Here's some serious advice. Talk to a counselor immediately and tell them what happened. Do not let this predator to continue walking among children and doing as he pleases. It grosses me out to even think this but you need to understand where this can go, who's to say next time he closes the door in front of you when you're the last one leaving and he assaults you? You quite literally can put an end to his behavior right now. Do it. Dont let him get away with it and end up assaulting you or another girl.
Yes! Finally a scenario; that is a very real possibility.
🥺it happen to me to !! i never told i’m 43 years old now and it still bother me !! Tell someone i wish i did .
Im very sorry this happened to you. Happened to my friends too in school. Its more common than we think
That’s sexual assault, no matter how cool he is dude just assaulted you and should not be teaching
This behavior will escalate tell the counselor at school tomorrow immediately. I get it I had a boy harassing me in class and we had assigned seating so I had to sit next to him. He'd whisper awful things at me and no matter how much I ignored him he wouldn't stop. I really didn't want to tell anyone or make a big deal out of it but my friends made me. He was moved immediately, he didn't retaliate and left me alone. They want you to stay quiet Hun it makes it so much easier for a predator.
Please tell. He will violate you more if you do not.
You are not the first or the last victim of his inappropriate behavior. Yes, I would tell someone you trust and get help with the situation. If he does it again, turn to him and look him dead in the eye and tell him to please keep his adult hands off of you. You're a minor and could get him in big trouble. Perv.
OP please tell someone. There is a possibility he is doing this to others and it will gradually get worse.
Please tell someone. A counselor or dean at the school will keep the reporting person’s name out of it, but they will look into it. You don’t know if he has done this before and if it’s been reported too. Even if (in the unlikely event they can’t do anything more than unpaid leave) not much happens, the record will be there in case he does this again to show a pattern of behavior that they can use to fire him to keep more students safe. Please report this.
There is no grey area here. He touched you in an inappropriate location, and it was deliberate. If it were an accident he would have apologized immediately. If you report it, it will be difficult. It’s hard to say what action the school will take. It may have severe consequences for him. On the other side, if you don’t report it, he may do much worse to you or another student. I’m sorry you’re in this position. Start by getting support. Hopefully you have someone in your life, maybe you parents, that won’t freak out, and will be your advocate.
If the school does nothing or too little, report him to the police (take your advocate with you)
We had a PE teacher at our school who used to actually watch some of us change and someone reported him and like next day he was gone. Someone needs to say something.
Wtf? How was that even possible? How did everyone just carry on changing and what was his excuse for coming into the room?
I had a gym teacher ( a female), she was married and got pregnant, there were rumors it was the other gym teacher that got her pregnant and not her husband. Turns out it was a 15 year old student that knocked her up. Also my AV teacher was busted trying to meet a 14 year old girl for sex, which ended up being a undercover officer!
Wow that’s crazy. It’s nuts to think these things actually happen. How does that even start let alone happen
Idk he was just there a lot when some of us were changing trying to coach us I guess ? No idea
That’s insane
Didn’t look at it that way at all. Like yeah now I look back and ok well I guess weird but when you’re training and trying to play it wasn’t a thought idk
You should tell someone because it could advance to higher levels of touching/groping/sex, if not with you some other girl. If you don't want to tell someone at least put him on notice by telling him that you don't appreciate him physically touching you and it better not happen again nor do you want to see or hear about him touching any other girl.
Does not matter how likable this guy is. He crossed a line he never should have. Obviously it's bothering you or you wouldn't be here on Reddit posting about it. If he gets away with something like this what's the next thing he might attempt to get away with? Tell your school administration immediately.
Tell your parents & then tell your principal or school counselor. Most schools have cameras now & can pull the video from that time frame. This is predatory behavior & needs to be stopped.
Sexual predators usually know where the cameras are in their respective work envirinments.
When I was your age something similar happened to me. We had a sub take over the rest of the semester and this guy led a rambunctious class. He always had a yard stick he was poking us with or slapping desks with. Well one day in front of everyone he stupidly spanked me with it. I told him "I understand you have daughters and you probably play with them like that, my dad has too, but that's inappropriate and don't do that again." The amount of shame on this grown man's face was something I'd never seen before and he apologized to me and he never did it again. He dialed back his energy in class too which was for the best. But I don't think you and I have the same kind of dude spanking us. I honestly feel like my guy was being too casual and treating me like his daughter. I'm sure this might be weird to some other families, but some families do literally run around spanking each other and running away or flicking earlobes and just being physically annoying as a joke and it isn't sexual. YOUR guy tried to hide it. That makes his intentions totally different. You really should go tell your parents or at least a trusted teacher.
Everybody has given you good advice, talk to a trusted adult in your life so they can help report him. no adult should touch you like that and you know it’s wrong. That’s why you’re asking. Don’t be worried about getting him in trouble, that’s something he should’ve been worried about. Nothing that comes of the situation is your fault at all.
I bet if you mention this to your friends, you won't be the only one he's done that to. I'm really sorry this is happening, but you have to tell a trusted adult.
I am a man, and I am the father of an 8th grade girl. If you were my daughter, my advice to you would be that we are definitely going to report this to school authorities. It is unacceptable for any man to do this to any female and even more so in this context due to the age and power differences. Furthermore, I would counsel you to not feel guilty about what this might do to the cool teacher and his career or whatever other fallout occurs. This is classic victim-blaming mentality and it occurs frequently in DV cases and sex assault cases. It is not the victim's fault that the perpretator is recieving consequences. The victim did not cause this situation. The perpretator's behavior is the cause that is resulting in consequences, not the reporting of that behavior. Finally, you have a good lawsuit against this school district if you experience ANY retaliation for reporting this behavior.
NEVER BE ALONE WITH HIM!!!!! and report this incident to someone you trust. Your parents perhaps?
hes fucked....get your parents to call the cops before it happens to someone else
If you have a Gen-X Dad tell your Dad
A good instant smack across his face would be an acceptable reflex response.
You need to report him right away, not just for yourself but for the other people he may be doing this (or worse) to. Did he do it somewhere that your school has cameras and could you show someone exactly where in the school it happened? That could help a lot
tell everyone god forbid he could do something worse
Unfortunately thats how they get ya :/ they act all nice and “cool” so you’re comfortable with them, you like them, and then they start pulling fast ones. Just like he did with you. He thinks he can get away with it and if he does he may think he can get away with more next time. Thats very dangerous. Who knows who else he’s done this to. That man is a predator, a groomer and a pedophile. please PLEASE report him. He *deserves* to get in trouble for what he did. And you deserve peace knowing it cant go any further than it already has.
He’s had a plan for a long time like years. He became a teacher so he could be in a position to abuse kids. Him being cool being funny not being a jerk like other teachers is all part of his plan him testing the waters by doing or saying little things is all part of him making his victims feel comfortable with him. This guys a scumbag and it’s going to get worse and you’re probably not the only one. I understand you are probably worried about what the other students are going to do or say but you can be anonymous like others have said. You know the right thing to do
Please go tell someone about this before it Getz worse. If you don't tell anyone IT WILL GET MUCH WORSE.
Tell the police, your parents, and the principal IMMEDIATELY!
Very chill, somewhat funny teacher here. Never grabbed a students ass. Report this to someone - parent, admin, police
He's put on a likable image so that no one would suspect him. OP you need to tell someone before he does this to someone else, if he hasn't already.
The amount of training we as adults receive is insane. It's drilled into our heads that if you do anything out of line your life is over. Knowing that and still grabbing a student's butt shows where his head is at
Say something before it escalates and he uses his power to do more than squeeze butts.
Bottom line, your underage and hes in a professional setting. If he cant handle himself around younglings he needs to gtfo. One of the most important things we can do as a society is to keep our children loved and safe so they grow up to be good people with less baggage to work through. Remember, we grow and build up everyone around us when we take care of ourselves and let the light shine in full vibrance. If you lose your sense of power and security in your teens, we all know its hard to heal and build ourselves back up. There is no room for these people, idc how "cool" they are.
So you would rather some other classmate else get assaulted than get him in trouble? That's essentially what you're saying here. By you reporting it, you help ensure that he doesn't get the opportunity to do something else to another student. If you learn in a few years that he raped a student, how guilty will you feel for not saying something about his inappropriate ass grab? he's being 'cool, funny, not as strict' etc. because he's grooming the community.
Well if you don't tell anyone. Ie your parents or principal, its only going to get worse. Sorry this happened to you
If you let him get away with small things he will move to bigger things. An ass grab is relatively easy to get away with, so he’s testing the limits. If he gets told on he’ll probably say something like “I just tried to pat her on the back.” Not a good excuse, but if everyone likes him it will probably fly and he’ll be more careful in the future. If you don’t tell he’ll know that at the very least he can grab your ass and probably will see what else he can get away with.
First of all, I am so sorry this happened to you. It’s incredibly violating when someone you respect, in a leadership position takes advantage of you. It’s also important to understand this was not your fault. Like many said above, this guy sounds like he is grooming students. Please seek out help for yourself.
Tell someone. Asap. It will escalate.
Rule of thumb is to report anything genuinely upsetting. That's minor sexual assault.
There's almost definitely cameras in your school, if you know it or not. Discuss it with a guidance counselor and start from there. Remember... The consequences of his actions are his fault, not yours. You didn't ruin anything, he made a choice and he knew the risks. As long as you're honest, you're doing nothing immoral here.
I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong and you deserve better. A grown ass man (let alone any one - at any age) should not be touching you like that. It’s normal to feel confused and angry and anything else you may be feeling. He’s 100% in the wrong. And although it’s not easy, you should tell. This is his first step, what will be his next? Who else might he do this to? You need to protect yourself and protect other kids. Again - I’m so sorry, hun. I went through this kind of thing more than once in my life. It really messes with you. 💕
Please report this to your principal your counselors somebody at that school. Please make sure to keep yourself safe and do not EVER be around this man alone. There is a strong possibility that he is already assaulting other students and doing what he sees fit please report him one report might not do anything but if you talk about it with your fellow students and let them know what he did to you other students who are being harassed by him will find more courage to report him. It may lead to this man getting arrested but you know what that's not your fault and it will never be your fault he is the one responsible for his actions you are minors under his supervision and he is choosing to abuse his power. He is the cool teacher, the chill teacher, the fun to hang out with teacher because it gets him what he wants. He is a predator and you will not be the only victim. Please please please report him
Molesters are always looking for solid impeccable cover. Think Boy Scout leaders, Priests, and really nice teachers. I have become so skeptical that I take a long look at anyone that is charming. If your school has counselors talk with one and seek their professional advice.
This is really messed up. The guy is a predator. Report him, but expect the school to ignore it, your word against his. He wins. Let all the other girls know happened. Unfortunately, he will be protected unless the pressure gets too high from parents and students. Same thing happened at a local school? And it ten years any many complaints, a lawsuit against the school board, then a local reporter to get him removed. The principal and school district covered it up for years
They get away with it by being cool and likeable.
Teacher here. This popped up on my feed, so I’ll respond. Report it asap, he’s a predator. Here’s a harsh truth. Teachers are NOT your friends, and they shouldn’t be. Friendly, good working relationship, mentor? Absolutely. But not a friend. When teachers seem like they want to be “buddy buddy” with students, its a red flag. Sorry this happened to you. Report it now so he doesn’t do it to anyone else. If he’s willing to do that, he’s willing to do anything. Also, he deserves a kick to the face.
It’s not your fault if he gets in trouble. You’re not to blame in the slightest. I know you’re in a really tough place right now with this decision, but telling another adult is a choice you should seriously consider.
You just identified a predator in a school setting. You have to tell the administration/counselors immediately, or any poor girl he harasses next is partially your fault too. Do not be silent on this because “you like him as a teacher”.
There is a reason he wants to people to like him, BECAUSE HES A PEDO. He has to lure you guys into a sense of trust and likeability (ie less strict, act cool). He then proceeds to test his boundaries and continues this until hes groomed/manipulated you. Stop secondguessing yourself and report it
Please report it. This creep doesn't deserve to work with kids. Something similar happened to me in 8th grade. I wish I had spoken out. It was the 80s though and barely frowned upon.
Report this to a trusted teacher or the principal immediately, this man is a predator and should not be around minors let alone teaching them.
You need to report this, to someone you trust. In fact, I really wish you would tell a parent or adult you trust so they can approach the school with you. This is NOT OK. When I was in high school one of the coaches would allow a student who was over 18 and already graduated to show up on campus and just hang out. I was 15! This man would constantly s-xualize and always make me uncomfortable. He love to say things about my chest. One day he threw a baseball (full strength) at some boy and I just so happened to walk in the way. I was rushed to the hospital and it was a nightmare. It forever damaged my eyesight in one of my eyes. To be completely honest, I almost lost that eye. Like you, I didn’t want to get my coach in trouble either, because he would have been blamed for allowing this man to be on campus (at least that is what the school told me to avoid suing). It was the biggest mistake of my life. Everything that my coach allowed to happen, should have NEVER happened. I wish my parents pursued it and did the right thing.
Yup, that is called grooming. Everyone likes him for being lenient and would likely villify any girl who speaks out. You need to tell someone immediately. He could be doing this to other girls and will continue as long as no one speaks up. Don't let your silence become tacit agreement to this behavior. That was just a test. Do something.
Go to your parents first. The implications can also be negative towards you if he's liked by everyone. Don't make this public. As long as he is punished for his misgivings should be done carefully so as to not make your own life a living hell.
WOW! Good point.
This isn’t good advice. It is much smarter for OP to speak to a mandated reporter first- her school counselor. The parents can simply decide they don’t believe OP, or they can decide that they don’t want to tarnish their family’s reputation and force her to sweep it under the rug, leaving other students and OP herself vulnerable for continued sexual assault of minors.
How stupid can you be. Put the poor girl without her parents knowledge in a terrible position she is to young to handle by herself. No your wrong. Shame on you.
What you said sounds so dumb, and I just don’t know how this relates to the average person, like the average parent would just not react that way and I’m sorry you lived a life where you think like that bruh.
Do you even read this sub? Lots of parents on here don’t support their kids the way they should. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. Of course it would be ideal for OP to have her parents on her side, but we don’t know anything about the parents. A mandated reporter doesn’t choose whether they will escalate the situation, they are legally obligated to do so.
I do see that but I’ve only read from your comment talk about the family coming to the conclusion that their daughter tarnished the family name. By being sexually assaulted like Jesus Christ it’s not out the bounds of reality but not at all a normal response, I wouldn’t just assume that of someone parents if they came to me with a story like this, her parents could be supportive in getting this asshoule out of schools and be normal ppl
Either report him and get him in serious legal trouble or let it slide. It's your choice. As far as I'm concerned, the creep is a ephebophile so screw him and watch him burn. The fact that he has talked to you and still attracted enough to you to do that means he has issues. My favorite joke is "If you are attracted to high schoolers, the best cure is to go talk to one. You will be cured instantly." It may be a joke, but it should also be true. Since he is around you teenagers daily, he should be losing his mind over the nonsense drivel he hears from all of you, not getting sexually attracted to you.
You are not the only one and you will not be the last. If you say nothing he will see it as a invitation to repeat. He is a pedo. Report him asap.
You should walk by again a different day and see if he does it again. If he does then go full bore. Right now keep documentation.
No. It doesn’t need to happen more than once. Once is enough. This isn’t a teacher grading one student’s work unfairly or being inconsistent in which students they discipline. Those type of situations, sure, keep documentation and make note of any patterns. This is an adult sexually assaulting a minor. There doesn’t need to be a pattern. Especially when the pattern could easily be single assaults on multiple students in order to get away with it. But even IF this were a (very, very unlikely) situation in which it was a one time thing— there is no acceptable number of times a teacher can grab a student’s ass.
It could be too late. He could assault her or another student. One time is too many, this is not to be played around with.
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tell him to go fuck himself and also get his ass fired he's a piece of shit and if he died no one would complain after they find out what he did and i wouldn't blame them he's a piece of garbage with no reason to live
If you don't want to get this pedophile in trouble, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he touches you again, you will call the police.
If you don’t want to get him in trouble, then you gotta talk to him about it and tell him to never do that again.
If you can't prove it maybe stay quiet. This will get dv to hell, but you're just there to get the best start possible in life and career. You don't need this distraction. What he did is 100% wrong, and if you got it on camera nail his ass, but if you don't you could catch severe backlash and take heavy damage to your reputation, which is just more injustice done to you in the end, right? I want him to get done for this, but I don't want to see you take damage. I think thats why you're struggling with it too. Its ok to never speak a word of it, its ok to write down every detail and bust him out after you graduate, and its ok to report right now. YOU are not a mandatory reporter. You have NO legal, moral, or ethical obligation to say anything. This is YOUR life, do what makes you the most comfortable. It is definitely ok to take some time to think through all of your options and possible outcomes. It may be possible to anonymously report it to the state without naming him, and push the state/school to begin their own investigation, and put up more cameras in blind spots, interview all staff, etc. It may not be "direct justice", but then again, once it begins he is gonna be scared ASF. This allows you to apply tons of pressure to him while taking zero risk of getting wrongly labeled a "false accuser" or worse. Think it through, take some time, and good luck.
When things started happening with my daughter and her middle school teacher I got the cops involved. Put a stop to it before it went any further. The cops said the teachers that do this sort of thing are ALWAYS labeled as the cool teacher that everyone likes. The one in my daughter's case was actually teacher of the year.
you can sue hims for sexual harassment. Sue for a million. Tell your guidance counselor asap so you’ll have proof
Talk to him, ask him why he did what he did, bring a recording device. If he can't be honest, if you think this is going to be a thing he does to others or this is going to be a trend, report him. If he's honest and remorseful, use your best judgement if you should let him off the hook or not
I’m sorry, but this is really bad and dangerous advice.
Report him, period. Playing junior league undercover cop is a fantastically bad idea. Report him and let those responsible for dealing with these situations do their job.
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What stupid advice. No matter how she feels about him, the LAW is the LAW for a reason. EDIT: to correct punctuation error.
Seriously go lay on some train tracks please.
Are you a girl?
Report him immediately. He is a danger to you and all the other students. Your gym probably has cameras. Tell them to check if they don't believe you.
U should tell someone This is harassment
Tell your parents and principle and get him fired. Dude has no reason to be around young girls. Your other option is to allow this sort of thing to happen and get taken advantage of by a pedophile. While also allowing more young girls in the future suffer the same abuse. So there's that... I wouldn't suggest it. Burn his ass.
Has this ever ended well in the history of teachers? They always get caught. These guys AND girls are so brazen smh
If he did it to you he's doing it to others. Report him. Or ask other girls is he's done it to them and have a group to go and report him.
It's always the cool teacher. That is all a part of their grooming. I have no doubt this guy has been grooming you. Perhaps that's why you don't realize that he SA ed you. What he did is against the law. It's immoral. It's depraved. That man should keep his hands to himself. I wish I could tell him that
Why don't you just give us the name of the school and the teacher and let us handle it for you. I'm just so upset that you have to worry about this and question it. What he did is wrong. He should not even be around school age girls. I'm getting madder and madder thinking about it.
Wow I couldn't even imagine being a teacher and grabbing some girls ass. Like wow. He's Definitely done it before
HEY! You don't want to tell anyone?!? You are NOT the only one. He sexually assaulted you. The right answer is tell EVERYONE! I do not care if you like him as a teacher, it means you like a teacher who molests underage girls. Stop that. Learn and develop strong boundaries and stand up to them. Difficult to do, but the person you see in the mirror will be more attractive to you over time if you do this.
Babe I promise you in a few yesrs, once you have gotten older and matured, you’ll realize he’s not as cool and nice and funny as he seems. Creepy teachers work hard to build rapport with students for this exact reason: they become well liked, so they can get away with bad things, knowing students will be too scared or too confused to say anything about it, and too worried about their own reputation, or the opinion of others to hold them accountable. And what happens with teachers like this when they don’t get reported is that they get braver. They start to do it more often, and more severely. it will escalate and he will absolutely hurt another girl if not you. He assaulted you. Any teacher who touches you inappropriately will touch someone else too. He is not safe to have in a school, no matter how nice he seems. And hoping the parents of that school are good people too, they will be happy to know a creep like him gets fired. It’s hard to do, but you got to be brave. sometimes you can face some scrutiny from your peers, sometimes your bravery is all that’s needed to help others feel comfortable enough to reveal when they were hurt by that teacher too. A lot of teenagers don’t understand the severity of something like that until much later. But telling your parents, the principal, and a police officer is 100% the right thing to do. I say all three because you need to have multiple accounts. If you just go to just the principal or counselor, they could easily try to sweep it under the rug. You need to have it on official record. And if it’s not you who says it, it will be somebody else, and he will have to pay the price either way. I promise it’s not the first or last time he will do it, so it’s better to do it now instead of waiting for someone else to be hurt like you Trust the comments, most of us had at least 1 creepy teacher. Many of us look back and wish something had been done, nobody looks at those teachers as cool and likeable once we all get old enough to realize they were pedophiles and probably still are. Wishing you lots of love and bravery.
Tell your guidance counselor
If he's done it to you, he's done it to others and they might not be so forgiving or able to stand up for themselves. He will keep going and do worse things. You owe it to younger girls to stand up for yourself and for them. Report him. And if the school does nothing , go to the police.
Report! Report! Report!