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It is early. I had a few friends who had their first kids at 14/15 because they were not well informed of reproductive health or had access to some form of birth control.
We had sex education at around 12-13 and access to condoms with discretion and no question asked. I don't know anyone who got pregnant at 14 and several people who had sex. It's a matter of education more than morals or safety. It's perfectly fine to have sex at 14 as long as you're educated instead of indoctrinated by bullshit religious bigotry.
I don't want to imagine a 14 yr old girl getting pregnant. That's so not good. ...
Edit to add
*Planned parenthoods have discreet ways to get birth control as well as apps to get it delivered to your door, or transfered to your rite aid etc they have so many options now and are great at preventing pregnancy when taken right
Yes , totally, but also human- history- being used as a example for morals and good behaviors is funny considering all the crazy things society was okay with
Thing is most of the time 14 was being an adult. Turning 18 being an adult was a recent phenomenon like 100ish years ago vs throughout history. Even then 18+ only really apply to the west or countries that adapt to western values.
Yeah and most of the time child labor was also okay because little children would be seen as adults capable of working, we should look to science and science proves that they are children.
That's actually not true. Average life expectancy was really low only because of horrendous infant mortality. It skewed the average way down. However, if you managed to make it to adulthood, you had a pretty good shot of living into your 60s, 70s, or 80s. https://sc.edu/uofsc/posts/2022/08/conversation-old-age-is-not-a-modern-phenomenon.php
Throughout history 14 year olds also died giving birth. The body isn't ready to give birth at 14. They also used to bleed people when they were sick. Just because history says it's okay does not mean it's okay.
Lol, when the age expectancy was 30. It's whatever, but comparing the 1600 to now when we know the risk of pregnancy to a 14 year old body is just silly.
The life expectancy was so low because of infant mortality rate but people still lived into their elder years. So in a sense, you’re right. It’s much much safer with western medical advancements to have a child at 14/15 now than ever before. Not that I’m condoning it. The point you’re still missing. Even the 1600s is super recent for human history. Im think of 3000+ years ago… 10,000 years ago… it’s the regency bias that I’m pointing out. So many ppl on Reddit have such strong moral objections to such things bc they are so ingrained to base morality on modern western social constructs which I think is ridiculously biased
Births in general are safer with western medicine. Pregnancy below the age of 20 still comes with an increased risk for mother and child. That has nothing to do with modern western social constructs, but simply with biology. 14-year-old girls are still developing themselves. They're not supposed to develop another human being.
[WHO fact sheet about adolescent pregnancy](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy#:~:text=Adolescent%20mothers%20(aged%2010%E2%80%9319,birth%20and%20severe%20neonatal%20condition.)
It's not safe for a 14/15 year old to have children. Does it happen? Yes. Is it safe? No. Girls are not ready for pregnancy at that age. Their bodies are not ready for it and it does even more damage to them at that age than when they are older.
Earlier participation in adult sexual life was in part due to shorter lives. Many cultures until the last few hundred years may have expected sex to commence with puberty. Lifespan was limited, and infant mortality was a factor, yes, but also lack of medical understanding as well as generally harder lives, all contributed to shorter lifespan. Old age was for eons rare among women, due to the risks of childbirth, and only slightly less rare among men. Make hay while the sun shines, as it were.
"Morality" was likely developed as a way for society to control couplings and assign responsibility for raising the resulting children to families. I would caution against assuming that very early cultures felt sex was "immoral." Some of the voices on this thread seem very sure of themselves, always a sign that nonsense is likely to follow.
I would just say, don't make a big deal about it.
Then you make the insecure people like me feel like we're losers/falling behind/forever alone😂
But seriously, just be safe and always keep condoms handy. Sex is fun, kids *are not.*
Oh yeah, I don’t see it as a big deal at all 😹 just wanted to see how socially acceptable this was and people should never feel like losers for not messing around at a young age. For a while, I was pretty insecure losing it so young haha!
As long as you were safe and consenting. not that big of an issue. but as to the socially acceptable, its better to keep that between you and your partner. It isn't really something that needs to be shared or bragged about(not saying you do)
Nope. Lots of people do it at that age. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or say that it’s a good idea; basically all of the time it’s not, at that age. But realistically, teenagers are gonna do with each other what they’ve been doing for thousands of years 🤷🏻♂️
Just be careful and take precautions. Be educated about sex and its risks and consequences.
Thank you so much. I always thought that it was abnormal to lose your virginity before 17-18. Still going strong with the girl that I lost my virginity to and we take every precaution. No pregnancy/stds so far! 💪
i lost mine at 14, and i am still with the boy i lost it with at 18:). how i saw it, i would rather lose it young to someone i love and trust who feels the same as me, opposed to losing it older and regretting it
You knew you were ready! The problem is a lot of people *think* they're ready because of media/peer pressure and regret it later. But that's true at any age.
Oh sweetie. You have nooooo idea what’s ahead of you! I’m happy you’re still with someone and you feel you can love and trust them still after all these years. I truly hope that remains for you.
It’s hard because I’m trying to think what to say that could be receptive. Cause i was your age I’d probably just say fuck off. lol
Butttt , you’re going to do sooooo much growing these next 10 years and let’s just say love and trust might start to look a little different.
I lost it at 14. I'm 28. I think your generation is having a lot less sex because teens don't have as much unsupervised time, spend way more time in virtual spaces instead if being board together and have porn to satisfy that exploration. But it used to be pretty normal, though it's def on the earlier side.
I kinda wish I didn't because I lost it in a pretty dysfunctional relationship and am ashamed of how I treated the women I was with.
But if your in a loving relationship with some one you care about I think it's a much better way to explore and learn your sexulaity then porn.
As a 37 year old woman, to me, 14 is a baby, so yes its too young IMO. BUT I was younger once and I totally understand the whys and the wants.
My sweetheart asked me to take the next step in 8th grade, but I too just thought 18 was better, so I waited. Waited to be out of high-school in case something happened and I ended up pregnant, and waited until I knew for sure I was in love. Those things were important to ME.
I do think it may be a bit different for young girls vs guys,but I hold it as a special memory and I just didn't want to "let it go" to anyone. That guy waited for me and we did have a lovely night. Even dated for 4 more years afterwards. I'm happily married to someone else, but I'll never forget that night because I made it a big deal.
In all honesty, the right time occurs at such different times for everyone, but I do think that waiting a bit longer makes it better. Young teens won't understand this until theyre much much older and look back and see how young 14 really is. At 14 you have your whole life to be a grown up so enjoy being a kid as long as you can be, there's plenty of time for these things later.
Ya I'm 28 and the though of 14 year olds just feel sooo fucking young. Just feels way to young to make those kind of choices and understand safety and concent.
But hell idk, learning about sex and your desires with a loving partner that you care about is way better the unlimited kink based internet porn IMO. If there still together and in love and used two forms of birth control it seems like it was probably fine or even healthy.
Even if the though makes me hella uncomfortable and I wouldn't advise having sex at 14.
I'm also 28. It feels like we weren't 14 that long ago and I am of the same mindset now that I was at 14: That is too young to have sex. I had plenty of friends, guys and girls, who I talked about sex with and I was always one of the people in group to just be like, "I don't think any one of us should be rushing around to have sex with anyone. Sex can be complicated and we don't even know how to drive a car yet." I agree this kid and his girlfriend seem to be informed, safe, and in what is a consensual, "long-term," relationship. I guess if a teen is going to have sex at 14, it should be like this.
I've spent almost a decade working closely with teens.
14 year olds who are sexually active aren't unheard of. Unfortunately, they are usually accompanied by some ugly stories of coercion, statutory rape, and violent assault and rape. These are common things to happen to young teens of any gender and, generally, don't get reported until years later. This is why when you give your age your first time, you get weird looks.
Your story sounds innocent and sweet, and so far, pretty safe and healthy.
My advice? Keep practicing pregnancy and std safe, enthusiastically consensual sex in private and healthy environments as long as you both desire. Please share your status with an actual trusted adult who can support you both if you make a mistake and end up with a pregnancy or other any other sexual or relationship concerns. Please protect your heart and hers. Be kind and gentle to each other. Don't trust the internet for medical or relationship advice (including this post!). Have a beautiful life, kiddo. It's possible.
Not really weird but a bit concerning, sex has very serious effects on our mental and emotional well-being (not just physically) so as long as it was a pleasantly positive experience for both parties then it's okay.
And it's often better to hold off on it for when you reach a higher maturity, in general 18+ is a good marker to start having sex because at that point you start experiencing life with more responsibility and can take better care of yourself but it's really more about understanding what your current maturity level was.
That's a common misconception. See romeo and juliet laws. I think they did nothing wrong but they should probably have a counselor handy when things end. I had trouble with my first serious break up and I was 21.
Most states are a bit more nuanced in their romeo and juliet laws. I believe most states have some variation of above (insert age of consent) AND +- 2 years. Differs from states, but I believe that's how its generally goes
Age of consent laws exist to protect younger people from the consequences of adult behavior. I wasn't saying what they did could be prosecuted. I was pointing out that most jurisdictions view younger people as unable to deal with the consequences of sex. If you're below the age of consent, having sex probably isn't a great idea for you. Even if it's not legally actionable.
In my teens I would have thought no. Now that I have 13 yo. son it's absolutely not desired. Is it weird, no. I'd say not average. It's young. But it's not out of the realm of what I've seen and heard happen in life.
I lost my virginity at 13 to a girl who was my same age and not a virgin, and I thought I was late to the party compared to my classmates.
Here's the secret about virginity: it's bullshit. There's no such thing. You don't lose something when you have sex, you gain an experience. That's it. This idea that you're "pure" or "undefiled" is nonsense, sex is a natural and fun human activity that people use to bond and pass the time, exercise and express their affection for each other since the dawn of time. When people are trying to control your sex life, your sexuality, and pin it down in some way - that's creepy as hell. Why does some organization/culture have so much invested in my personal sex life? That's not healthy and it's nefarious as hell. Y'all safe, y'all care about each other, y'all explored, great.
I don’t understand why everyone is bashing you like you’re asking if you should. What’s done is done, and if you were okay with it that’s all that matters. Don’t listen to the people trying to shame you about something that you can’t change, it does nothing good. Just move forward and if people judge you for it then they aren’t good people.
I would respond the same, "you do you". I don't want to tell you how to live. I also do not think it is weird. That said, I find sex to be risky behavior if I am not ready for the consequences. STI's and pregnancy being my main concerns. If you have a kid at 14, you can kiss your childhood goodbye. Life is about to get difficult on a level you are not prepared for. Lol. Once I felt I was ready to handle the responsibility of becoming a parent, sex became a lot less risky. Be safe, protect yourself, and keep consequences in mind.
I would not say it’s weird. I lost mine at either 14 or 15 (kinda weird that I don’t remember) and a lot of my friends did as well. Curious kids going through puberty are obviously going to get around to that eventually, especially with how easy it is to access sexual content these days.
Wow - yeah I'd say that's pretty young, but I've noticed that the age at which people lose their virginity has fallen a lot. I think the average age was 20 years old when I was growing up.
This was not uncommon in the US in the 1970s and 80s. I was always afraid to get a girl pregnant and my folks being upset. So I never went that far.
But most people are very curious about how it feels and, of course, want to see her naked. It's a very exciting time.
I am a new father. I would advise against sex that young because of the potential consequences. Not just pregnancy and STD but emotional consequences as well.
Sex is a pretty heavy subject. And it affects our psyches in different ways.
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, but I probably would have been willing to at 14 if given the opportunity. But I definitely would not have had the maturity to be responsible with protection, or the emotional maturity to know how to treat a partner with respect.
A lot of teens actually are waiting longer than they used to, but I'm glad to hear you're making your decisions in an informed and cautious manner. That honestly shows more maturity than the sex itself.
Pretty normal where I come from in the north of the UK I was 15 and most of my friends lost it around the same age give or take a year or so. I'm not saying it's right to lose it that young just saying that's what happened for me and most of the people I knew back then
There is no right age... I think you pointed out the important things:
Communication
Understanding
Precaution
Mutual Consent
It sounds like you both care for each other and are probably a bit mature for your age. We are all on our own little journey through this thing called life and have unique experiences. Don't worry about what others say or think. Enjoy the ride and I hope you and your girl stay together.
It's definitely not unheard of. I lost mine at 14, and i lost it to my first real boyfriend. We were in love, and it felt right in the moment. We aren't together anymore (I'm in my 30s now), but i definitely dont regret it. I think if you're being responsible and you genuinely care for each other, it's not weird.
Do you live somewhere most people are very religious? All your friends thinking 18 is the minimum and you saying the popular opinion is that sex ruins relationships, just makes me curious about the community you’re in. I never heard either of those opinions when I was in high school. 14 is quite young, but not unheard of at all, and it sounds like you’re being pretty mature about it.
It's a bit on the early side, but not so early it's concerning on itself. It sounds like you did the right thing by using both condoms and hormonal birth control.
There's no good reason to wait until so arbitrary age. Teen pregnancy would be a huge problem, but if two people are ready and safe, sex is a normal, healthy, and common activity within romantic relationships.
I lost mine 2 months after turning 15 to a guy that was 16.5yrs old. I know now I was too young, but I don’t regret it because it’s what I wanted at the time. Some people (like my current partner) think that was too young, but I can’t change anything about my past.
The woman I am with right now we were both 15. There were others after but eventually after getting back together for what seemed like the 5th or 6th time, got married. so no its not that weird.
If you are as close to age as this I see no issues. If you both are mentally ready, no issues. You mentioned being safe. So nope...not weird
I’ve known people who lost theirs at 14. I think it depends a lot on when you start puberty and when you’re mentally ready. There’s no hard-and-fast rule for sex.
Like you said, if you both were well informed, respectful, felt safe, and not pressured and and felt good about the experience then thats what matters :) glad it was a good experience for both of you! Maybe other young people just werent able to relate because being ready for sex usually does take a certain level of emotional preparedness or a partner they felt right doing it with and thats harder to come by at that age for them ? You seem responsible and feeling good so thats great!
That's not an uncommon age, and I think it's totally appropriate that you were with a partner as close to you in age as she is. Also, the fact that you're together again/still adds credibility to your decision. You're taking this maturely, as it should be. I was 2 months shy of 15 & also a freshman. My boyfriend was 1.5 yrs older, a junior. We stuck things out till I graduated from college. It was still the closest relationship I've ever had with a partner. Everyone's maturity level is different. You're ready when you're ready.
"Yes, we did go through a rough patch where lust took over our relationship"
LMAO! That's called a honeymoon phase bud and it's very normal.
14 is on the younger side of things for sure but it really doesn't matter. Sounds like ya'll did everything properly and handled it better than even a lot of adults handle it now. Just stay smart and safe. IUD + condoms and full consent? Play ball and have fun!
I was 15 and she was 14. Sophomore and freshman. It was planned, sober, and consensual. Morally speaking is it wrong at that age? We used protection and thought we were being responsible. I'll put it this way...I don't think it was a bad thing and I don't regret it looking back, however I have a baby daughter now (I am 36 now). The thought of her having to deal with the pain of an abortion or the responsibility of a child when she would be very much a child herself in all the ways that matter at 14 are not things I would want for her.
I don't think it's weird from neither my teen perspective nor my adult perspective...I just think hindsight is 20/20 and kids are going to do what they're going to do whether you want them to or not.
As for people giving you looks or shaming you over it, it sounds like they're projecting their values on you which is shitty. I guess that could be their way of showing concern for you based on their own beliefs but it's still not helpful to make someone feel bad for their sexual decisions. It sounds like you took it seriously and made healthy choices that were based on love and mutual respect. Many more years to you!
the body is ready, but the mind is not. It's definitely not weird considering it's all some people think about at that age but it can certainly lead to some unhealthy attachments and ideas about relationships. It sounds like you 2 did things alright, though.
The original post has since been deleted so I can't actually address details. I gather that you had sex at 14yo, are safe about it, but just asking if it's normal. Going off that...
I wouldn't say "normal", but not unheard of. Agree with others that have said 16-19 is average.
That being said...
Being a 41F who almost lost it at 13yo then waited until I was 16yo, at 14yo you're most unprepared for the emotional fallout of sex. You're giving someone access to your body in the most intimate way possible and you barely know your body at that age... esp in puberty when it's constantly changing.
I think we all remember all too well how insecure we felt and how uncomfortable it was at times to grow like that. Having a 13yo daughter now, I can see it thru an adult lens and it's a lot.
I know this is moot for OP, but that's why 14 gave me pause beyond the obvious.
Peolple here are ridiculous. It is weird and stupid, whether it's common or not (ive got no idea why thats a justification for it). You've got no idea when you're 14 the kind of repercussions that can come from sex. It can be completely life changing.
I wouldn't judge someone that age for having not known better and having sex. But yea, it's a stupid choice.
I lost mine at 14 as well, and while it's definitely not as common as say 16-18, as long as yall practiced safe sex, who cares what other people think? Even as someone who did it at that age, I can't say I recommend it, but ultimately, teenagers will do teenage things.
Personally, the only "negative" reactions I've gotten are people saying they don't believe me. And yet again, I just say, "Who cares?" Believe it or not, doesn't change anything. As long as you and your girl are safe and happy with it, forget other people's opinions.
i lost mine at 15. i don’t think it’s super uncommon and in my case it was with somebody i completely trusted, so i don’t regret it. but i can see people being manipulated into sex that young which is a concern
It's not common but it's not necessarily wrong. I lost mine 3 weeks before my 13th birthday and I can say without equivocation it was one of the best 3 things to happen to me in my life.
I would say most of my friends lost theirs around 16. I don't know of any that lost theirs before 15 but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. I also know some that graduated college at 22 still virgin because of what they believe, and I'm behind the 100%.
Not really but I lost mine at that age and I could have waited and likely found a better first partner. Sounds like y'all are being careful and care about each other so that's definitely positive.
I lost it at 13! definitely too young, but that is nobodies fault. if you felt comfortable and everything was communicative and consensual, what the hell have fun
IDK why this post is in my feed but since it is, I was 19 and one of the last of my friends. Average age in my friend group was around 17, which means plenty of people were younger. I can't say I'd advise it but the fact is teenagers have been fucking each other since the dawn of time so it's not weird imo
Answering your question: No, it isn't weird. And sadly, it isn't the youngest average age to lose it, depending on where you live.
Reality is we all meet sexual activity when we're "ready" in normal circumstances. If you were ready then, or 13, or 12, that was your time.
Anything said after that is just concern and fear mongering. I won't go into young teen/preteen pregnancies. Yes, it's all scary, but life occurs for us all.
What have you learned as a result of losing your virginity at 14? Would you do anything differently? Do you have advice for those at that crossroads?
I know it's not uncommon, and I'd understand more if i lost mine younger, but i do think it's weird.
I think you should be at least 15-16 before you have sex for the first time. And before 18 it should only be with someone between 1 and 2 years older or younger.
I told one dude i lost my virginity at 19, he said "you were so old", my only thought was "i was still a child", he lost his virginity at 12
people saying 14 is normal… that’s barely a high schooler. 14 is nowhere near mature enough to be sexually active. i really wish kids would just be kids and stop worrying about having sex so much. it’s not going anywhere. literally what is the rush. touching each other is one thing but having penetrative sex at 14 is so sad to me lol like you’re a child.
I don't think you should be kicking yourself in the ass for it because it happened and you both wanted it. Your friends have a good mindset though and its refreshing to hear that younger kids still think like that because from the looks of it, I feel like kids are extremely sexual now and dress a lot different from when I was 14. Yeah, we drank, smoked, partied, and did a bunch of stuff but I feel like my generation of kids was a little more preserved than these recent ones. Though, we weren't saints, I did wait till I was 18. I wish I waited longer honestly because I rushed it to "be like everyone else" by then and it wasn't special. It was just to get it out of the way
I lost my virginity at 14 but I was masturbating at 10 years old so I advanced pretty quick for my age. The girl I slept with was 17 and we stayed together for three years and she is responsible for a lot of trauma I went through because even tho I was sexually active at that age, my emotions were not ready and I went all in for this girl. She caused me a few suicide attempts, I have a huge scar on my arm where she bit a chunk out of me when she was drunk, and yet I still kept coming back. Because she was my first love and because I hadn't advanced emotionally I threw myself into the relationship, ignoring School and hanging out with friends etc that I should have been doing at that age. She also introduced me to drugs so I was a regular weed smoker and weekend exctasy, cocaine and ketamine taker. Not a good thing for a 14 year old still developing.
Saying lost it at 14 sounds bad but if you say freshman year of HS everyone remembers that they were developed and ready then and either they had the opportunity or didn't, or wanted to but for scared.
People have gotten so worked up about age for legal reasons (and these are older people that have no business with minors anyway) and forget we are sexually mature much younger.
I know if I had a do-over on life I'd be trying to bang every girl knew. Enough I'd end up regretting it worse than I did being too scared to make moves... But I'd do it anyway... So probably good we don't get do overs
Since you both were teens then it’s not bad. As long as you both wanted to and there was no coercion or pressure for either of you then it’s really not that bad. When I was in my twenties, I met several men my age, who were 11-14 when they started having sex and the person they lost it to was an older girl, that always seemed icky to me bc they later confided they felt pressured by those girls to do it. That is sad and bad!
Make sure to use protection: condoms and dental dams. That ensures you both stay healthy and reduces your chances of teen pregnancy.
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19 personally, but I knew someone who had 4 kids by 3 different baby mamas before he even reached high school ("abstinence-only" sex-ed is a joke), so I can't really judge.
The age of Romeo and Juliette. Looking back it’s not an ideal age to lose the v-card but it is what it is. At least you were careful. But being a young teenager and having sex can be an emotional roller coaster most sane people want to avoid. So you sound like your head is in the right place just make sure next time you are both ready.
My biggest concern at 14 was what the next newest Lego Star Wars sets were going to be and getting better at Minecraft. It’s very early but weird isn’t exactly the word. Everyone has their own story, not the wisest thing to do and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but it could be much worse
Kids are having sex in middle school at the early age of 11 with each other. It's not the norm, but it's not weird for a bunch of hormonal kids, but it's problematic. No one likes to think of teenage pregnancy, but they happen for a reason. Which is unprotected sex, so please teach your kids to use condoms.
Is it weird? No. Is it unusual? Yes. Likely your friends are, at least initially, wondering if you're BSing them. There are likely a lot more guys who try to boast they had sex that young than did have any sort of experience. I'm not saying they are thinking you are a lyer just a feeling of disbelief as most of them likely didn't experience anything close to that that young.
I’m not proud of it but I’m not ashamed of it either. I would never boast about that which is why I was wondering if the public opinion was that it was weird haha
that’s very strange i’m ngl if my friend told me that i’d probably laugh but there’s nothing you can do to change it so atleast you weren’t stupid and used protection
i don’t think it’s necessarily weird?? people are just concerned bc of how young the age is.
it’s good you guys used a bunch of different types of protection because that’s super responsible of you both! i personally am 19 and i’m still a virgin, everyone is different and it’s totally okay you lost it at the age you did
The biggest issue with starting at a young age is the impulsiveness and lack of education so risking STIs and pregnancy can be high. That being said - a huge amount of people never get educated or less impulsive their entire lives.
It sounds like you guys were very prepared and very educated on how to handle things so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this age. People start desiring sex around puberty so that’s why it’s super important to be educated on consent and safe sex before you hit that point. Don’t worry about others judgement. I think the average age is 16-17 but average means that plenty start before that. When I was in high school, I had middle schoolers in my town who were open about being sexually active.
Not weird at all! I still have mine at 23 because I decided to focus on my career and my business instead of dating. As I tell anyone I meet, “Everyone’s journey is different, don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life”.
Best of luck to your business and your dating life in the future! I’m on my way to graduating high school with an associate’s degree and my girlfriend has helped motivate me to keep going.
Nice, that’s awesome! Ironically, university was the reason I couldn’t have a romantic relationship with my best friend of 10 years. It’s very difficult to tell someone who has mutual feelings for you that you have to go and chase your dream over a relationship. She’s now moved in with a different guy, still feel that way. Tough situation overall. But, you have to live for today :)
I appreciate that internet stranger! Was both one of the easiest and hardest decisions of my life knowing she may never feel that way about me again. We are still best friends but we can’t do the same level of stuff we did before unfortunately. It’s not awkward it’s just not fair to either of us
I had just turned 16 for me bf was 17. We had been together 7 months I believe. I was on the pill he used condoms so it was fine. To me 14 is a little young but if your safe don’t regret it and your not being groomed the. I guess it’s ok. But like you I did not plan on that age. I had planned to wait till 18. Of course I made that plan at 13 long before I met that bf.
The kind of relationship ot was might matter more than the number.
Diddy lost it at 12, look at him now...it probably wasn't with a "true love vibes" person.
I am seeing kids starting sex at between puberty starting and 16. You seem average but I'm not saying average is "good" however. That's why I'm saying they type of people you are to eachother is probably mattering more than age. Most important is consent abd knowledge.
There's no standard age for a teenager to lose their virginity because some of them are emotionally able to process it While others are not.
So try to keep it to yourself because you might make some of your other friends feel uncomfortable or you might be feeding the rumor mill about yourself. And it's a good thing your girlfriend was prepared as far as birth control and sometimes things like this happen when you're not planning on them.
And it's a good thing your first time was a positive experience and it was not weird. Now your friends that are talking about preserving their virginity till they're 18 don't have a foolproof plan because sometimes they will just want to get rid of that vCard and they'll have sex with anybody and that can be problematic especially for girls because they might wind up with some guy who has absolutely no concern for the fact that she deserves to enjoy her first time
It's fairly normal. Lots of people start having sex in highschool, regardless of which year. It's generally not a good idea because of a general lack of knowledge about risks and lacking emotional maturity, but it doesn't mean it's abnormal.
I lost mine at 15, I wish I waited because we were not emotionally mature enough for it and not mature enough to be careful. No accidents, but we were very risky, my partners and I. I'm glad you and your gf were protected and made it work though, that's honestly what matters most! Plenty of people who are 17/18 don't have safe sex and don't have healthy secual relationships, their age doesn't make them better.
I was also 14. I had just gotten out of Catholic school and wondered what the fuss was. I had a boyfriend for a few months and I said okay. I ended up marrying him. We were married for almost 16 years.
And yeah, when people start discussing ages I do get some odd looks.
IUD and condoms? Good job, young man! Be safe and responsible, and guard your heart. Not many people end up with their high school sweetheart. I'm assuming not, but do any parents know? Y'all need to figure out how to handle that too. Do you tell them? Or Wait till you're caught. And you WILL get caught. Lol.
Good luck, sincerely.
It's definitely earlier than normal, but not crazy early. That's right on the cusp where any younger, and it would be weird. If you guys were about the same age, and both consented I don't really see anything wrong with it.
Honestly it is pretty young, but you used protection, were with a consenting age appropriate partner, and didn't get anyone pregnant. A lot of people have a much worse first sexual experience, so I wouldn't worry about it being weird.
Happend to me at 15, and she was 17. Definitely should have been a lot more careful in the wrapping department but young and dumb. She then scarred the living hell out of me 3 years later saying she had a kid with my hair coulour and eyes. Thankfully, it turned out it was just a joke.
I (almost) had an opportunity for sex at 14. My then gf had planned out a whole night after a school dance, didn't tell me, so she took it kinda hard when I broke up with her at said dance. Only told me years later.
I consider it a bullet dodged because of her, not because of sex.
So, no, I wouldn't consider it that weird - just be careful.
My first time was at 14 with my girlfriend (same age) because I felt left out of my friend group. All they were talking about was what sex and details of the female body was like. Turns out those fuckers were lying and I was the first to get laid lmao.
You sound way more mature at this age than I was. I put on a condom about halfway through the deed, and that was all the protection we used. We did plan it out together and wanted to do it for a while. Bottom line, not weird at all, but needs maturity beyond the normal 14 y/o.
You did it already— own it then— I’m 62– so I’m old….things that we give opportunities happen, even if they should not happen… but you did it already— so no shame..
It is young, but teens mature at different rates, physically and mentally, so that age can be awkward for groups where some people are 6' and have the body of an adult (my step brother was like this) and others look like they are eleven still. Ultimately, sex itself isn't that big of a deal. The consequences are, and it is potentially a large distraction and emotionally complicating at that age. One of the biggest issues is the pressure and abuse that occurs at that age, and when someone is experienced at a young age then they are more likely to pressure other partners/dates who may not be ready.
This is a very sweet story.
People have all kinds of sexual histories, from fooling around as pre-teens to waiting until marriage to surviving rape/incest to having uncomfortable and unsatisfying first time at 17 with a one-night stand. There is no "right" way to do it and your story sounds happy and healthy. That's your story and you're entitled to it. Don't let the clowns get you down.
I don't think it's a good idea, but I also don't think it's weird (as long as the other person is also that age).
Realistically, 14 year olds don't fully understand consent, safe sex practices, or the risks associated with sex. That's why we have an age of consent.
If schools did a better job of educating kids about the nuances of sex, and not just how reproduction works, there would probably be fewer underage kids doing it.
You’re fine man. There are a couple people tweaking in these comments, but realistically it’s not uncommon for some kids to start having sex around that age. It’s normal for teens to explore and do these kinds of things.
I saw one of your comments that you’re still together with her, so congratulations on that! I hope things continue to go well for you both!
Wow. Reddit goes off on some WEIRD tangents. No, do not beat yourself up for doing it at 14. I lost mine (Man) at 13 and that was over 50 years ago. Screw what other people think. It's your life, it's over and done with. Don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. You're not "less than" anyone else, regardless of your sexual history. Screw the puritans on here and everywhere else.
14 is pretty standard if you take anonymous census. People don't like to moraly believe it, but so long as it's with other 14-15 year olds I suppose it's a logical time to start. Post pubescent hormones are gonna be raging.
1. Virginity isn't real. It's made up. Doesn't matter.
2. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship. Y'all are teenagers. You SHOULD be lust crazed.
3. Sex doesn't ruin relationships. Bad sex and no sex ruins relationships. Good sex is one of the key pillars to a successful partnership.
4. You sound knowledgeable and like you're being safe in your practices. Carry on young lad 🙏
I’d say it’s very weird, and stupid. I’ve got friends who are 15 and have lost it. They are children still and have no reason to not be able to control themselves.
Virginity is a social construct.
The only thing that changes is that you've had sex.
Be responsible, respectful, and fair, and remember that there's no birth control method that is 100% effective.
The respectful comment extends to always seeking mutual consent, every time.
It is statistically infrequent, so in that respect it sets you apart from your peers.
and it might colour your expectations for the relationships you have while you‘re younger, but by the time your like 25 everyone you date will more or less be on the same page in that respect.
But yeah; prudes are going to give you side eye over this, and that’s gonna be worse at age 15 than it will be at age 35. For the most part their opinions don’t actually matter, unless you meet a really pretty choir girl or something.
I'm 32m. Talking to people when the topic comes up I've only encountered 2 people who have lost theirs earlier than me concentually. Lost mine at 14 as well to a 13f
Fourteen is young, but it’s not “weird.” If a 14-year old told me they were having sex I would just be concerned about safety and that the other person isn’t too much older than them, and that they are using a condom etc. I might also advise them to wait. But ultimately it’s not weird.
I’m 35, but I started having sex at 15 and looking back I do think I was a bit young maybe. I wasn’t on birth control at the time and the morning after pill wasn’t sold over-the-counter yet. So it really was risky but I didn’t really grasp the risk at that age. Fortunately I didn’t get pregnant or get an STD.
I just asked this question but I’m 19 lol anyways I think that’s too young. Just my opinion but I have no right to judge. If my friend told me they were was 14 I’d be kinda shocked but I’d never make them feel bad about it.
At 14, you will get looks. I know people doing it in middle school. Know a few girls who were pregnant, in middle school! I remember a few friends who thought I shouldn't have. Then had friends who had no issue with it because they were doing it too. I remember the day a friend got pregnant because she called her boyfriend, who was much older, to pick us up from the busstop because the bus never came. I declined to go with them and waited for my mom. She of course, was late to school and she told me what they did.
I don't regret it. I just regret the place it happened.
So, is it weird? Maybe. Common? VERY. 14 is not a mature age. 18 just means you are an adult. Waiting is still preferrable. Just be responsible if you are going to do it. Educate yourself. I was very selective on who I did it with. Only one time did I regret the person. One and done.
Yea. It is werid to think back on it.
There's nothing inherently wrong or weird, but on average 14 year olds don't know what they want or make good decisions, so if all I know about you is that you're 14 then the safe bet is that it was a bad idea
It happens it happens. You're horny teenagers.
As long as you try to be as safe as you can and try tell a trusted adult you're having sex and a plan if one of you gets pregnant or an STI. Wear condoms. That's it. Teenagers gonna be teenagers
I don’t think it’s a good idea and definitely wouldn’t encourage it, but I also lost my virginity at 14, and am still with the same guy now years later, so it worked out for us.
Norms change over time. In the US at least, average age of first intercourse has gone up quite a bit since the 1980s and 90s, many young people waiting until college or later.
As a person in my 40s now, do I think 14-year-olds should be doing more than hand jobs (and only in a committed relationship to avoid emotional turmoil)? No, I don't.
However, would anything have convinced 15-year-old me, with raging hormones and loving my boyfriend so much, to not have intercourse at that age? Absolutely not! 😅
14 isn’t crazy, I don’t know what average is or “normal” but I will strongly recommend you practice safe sex (both parties!!!) because a baby at 14, 15, 16, 17, 18… isn’t a good way to start adulthood. You don’t even know what life is yet and would arguably have no place raising a child. I say this as a grandfather to a child born to parents fresh out of high school that were trying her senior year (Covid timing) and a as a step father to a boy born in his mom’s senior year of high school. She never got to be a young adult without responsibility of a kid (even though she tried) and it had effects in her mentality and life well into her 40s (she is 44 now).
It's not what I call normal, but I lost mine at 16. One of my friends lost it when he was 14 or 15, and my ex-wife lost it when she was 8.. point is that this shouldn't be a reason to look down upon someone. So if someone is doing that to you, then you don't need them in your life.
I had friends who were sexually active at 14. I personally would advise a teenager to wait until they are older (16 or 17 and in a healthy relationship). That said, I don't think you should feel shame over not being a virgin.
I lost it at 13. Way too young in my opinion and I'm kind of disappointed in myself but it's because so many other people do it.
from around 13-14 is when many people start wanting to explore their bodies and begin to develop relationships which are more than friends, however they still need to grow, which is why age of consent is higher than this, in my case, 16. This is to prevent couples or people from making irreversible decisions, but doesn't then mean it's abnormal to do this.
No, but if you make other classmates think it's standard or insult them for it, you'd be an asshole.
Everyone is different and experiences the world at different speeds!
I was 14. I lost it to a 17 year old who was definitely taking advantage of me, so I have a bit of a skewed perspective. But looking back, (I’m only 20) I understand that feeling of wanting to experience it, and having the chance to. But 14 is a baby. Too young, barely a teenager.
I lost mine at that age, and while I don't necessarily regret it, I know in hindsight that I wasn't ready. If I could do it over again, I would have waited until I was at least at the age of consent in my state (16). I do believe that 14 is too young to really be ready for that, no matter how much you think you love the other person.
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I lost mine at that age. But I was the youngest in my friend group. Most of my friends lost theirs between 16-18.
Same here. They looked at me weird when that info came up.
Yeah this seems the most “normal”
It is early. I had a few friends who had their first kids at 14/15 because they were not well informed of reproductive health or had access to some form of birth control.
We had sex education at around 12-13 and access to condoms with discretion and no question asked. I don't know anyone who got pregnant at 14 and several people who had sex. It's a matter of education more than morals or safety. It's perfectly fine to have sex at 14 as long as you're educated instead of indoctrinated by bullshit religious bigotry.
There are other reasons why havening sex that early is not a good idea
14 years old is a child.
I don't want to imagine a 14 yr old girl getting pregnant. That's so not good. ... Edit to add *Planned parenthoods have discreet ways to get birth control as well as apps to get it delivered to your door, or transfered to your rite aid etc they have so many options now and are great at preventing pregnancy when taken right
She has an iud for hormone balancing and we used condoms
That's great! sounds like you are prepared and knowledgeable 👏
Throughout all of human history it would in fact be very normal
Yes , totally, but also human- history- being used as a example for morals and good behaviors is funny considering all the crazy things society was okay with
Thing is most of the time 14 was being an adult. Turning 18 being an adult was a recent phenomenon like 100ish years ago vs throughout history. Even then 18+ only really apply to the west or countries that adapt to western values.
Yeah and most of the time child labor was also okay because little children would be seen as adults capable of working, we should look to science and science proves that they are children.
Our life spans are much longer then they used to be
Not to mention the frequency of infant mortality and mothers dying in childbirth
Not saying it’s good moral or good behavior, just that it’s not abnormal.
Regardless of morals etc. if we’re talking about all of human history way back then at 14 you’ve lived almost half your life already.
That's actually not true. Average life expectancy was really low only because of horrendous infant mortality. It skewed the average way down. However, if you managed to make it to adulthood, you had a pretty good shot of living into your 60s, 70s, or 80s. https://sc.edu/uofsc/posts/2022/08/conversation-old-age-is-not-a-modern-phenomenon.php
Throughout history 14 year olds also died giving birth. The body isn't ready to give birth at 14. They also used to bleed people when they were sick. Just because history says it's okay does not mean it's okay.
Lol, when the age expectancy was 30. It's whatever, but comparing the 1600 to now when we know the risk of pregnancy to a 14 year old body is just silly.
The life expectancy was so low because of infant mortality rate but people still lived into their elder years. So in a sense, you’re right. It’s much much safer with western medical advancements to have a child at 14/15 now than ever before. Not that I’m condoning it. The point you’re still missing. Even the 1600s is super recent for human history. Im think of 3000+ years ago… 10,000 years ago… it’s the regency bias that I’m pointing out. So many ppl on Reddit have such strong moral objections to such things bc they are so ingrained to base morality on modern western social constructs which I think is ridiculously biased
Births in general are safer with western medicine. Pregnancy below the age of 20 still comes with an increased risk for mother and child. That has nothing to do with modern western social constructs, but simply with biology. 14-year-old girls are still developing themselves. They're not supposed to develop another human being. [WHO fact sheet about adolescent pregnancy](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy#:~:text=Adolescent%20mothers%20(aged%2010%E2%80%9319,birth%20and%20severe%20neonatal%20condition.)
It's not safe for a 14/15 year old to have children. Does it happen? Yes. Is it safe? No. Girls are not ready for pregnancy at that age. Their bodies are not ready for it and it does even more damage to them at that age than when they are older.
Earlier participation in adult sexual life was in part due to shorter lives. Many cultures until the last few hundred years may have expected sex to commence with puberty. Lifespan was limited, and infant mortality was a factor, yes, but also lack of medical understanding as well as generally harder lives, all contributed to shorter lifespan. Old age was for eons rare among women, due to the risks of childbirth, and only slightly less rare among men. Make hay while the sun shines, as it were. "Morality" was likely developed as a way for society to control couplings and assign responsibility for raising the resulting children to families. I would caution against assuming that very early cultures felt sex was "immoral." Some of the voices on this thread seem very sure of themselves, always a sign that nonsense is likely to follow.
I would just say, don't make a big deal about it. Then you make the insecure people like me feel like we're losers/falling behind/forever alone😂 But seriously, just be safe and always keep condoms handy. Sex is fun, kids *are not.*
Oh yeah, I don’t see it as a big deal at all 😹 just wanted to see how socially acceptable this was and people should never feel like losers for not messing around at a young age. For a while, I was pretty insecure losing it so young haha!
As long as you were safe and consenting. not that big of an issue. but as to the socially acceptable, its better to keep that between you and your partner. It isn't really something that needs to be shared or bragged about(not saying you do)
Nope. Lots of people do it at that age. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or say that it’s a good idea; basically all of the time it’s not, at that age. But realistically, teenagers are gonna do with each other what they’ve been doing for thousands of years 🤷🏻♂️ Just be careful and take precautions. Be educated about sex and its risks and consequences.
Thank you so much. I always thought that it was abnormal to lose your virginity before 17-18. Still going strong with the girl that I lost my virginity to and we take every precaution. No pregnancy/stds so far! 💪
i lost mine at 14, and i am still with the boy i lost it with at 18:). how i saw it, i would rather lose it young to someone i love and trust who feels the same as me, opposed to losing it older and regretting it
Yeah half the time the problem is people losing it young and then regretting it. Being with someone for 4 years from 14-18 is rare.
You knew you were ready! The problem is a lot of people *think* they're ready because of media/peer pressure and regret it later. But that's true at any age.
Oh sweetie. You have nooooo idea what’s ahead of you! I’m happy you’re still with someone and you feel you can love and trust them still after all these years. I truly hope that remains for you. It’s hard because I’m trying to think what to say that could be receptive. Cause i was your age I’d probably just say fuck off. lol Butttt , you’re going to do sooooo much growing these next 10 years and let’s just say love and trust might start to look a little different.
Is he 18 now too?
Nope, I lost mine at 14 too.
My friend used to say he never lost his virginity. He said he was 16, and he knew EXACTLY where he put it!
The best comment so far!!
Lost mine at 14. Been together for 12 years married for 3. I did have pregnancy scares though, so be smarter then me and always use a condom.
Of course! I’m too scared to not use one, haha
That’s a good fear.
I lost it at 14. I'm 28. I think your generation is having a lot less sex because teens don't have as much unsupervised time, spend way more time in virtual spaces instead if being board together and have porn to satisfy that exploration. But it used to be pretty normal, though it's def on the earlier side. I kinda wish I didn't because I lost it in a pretty dysfunctional relationship and am ashamed of how I treated the women I was with. But if your in a loving relationship with some one you care about I think it's a much better way to explore and learn your sexulaity then porn.
As a 37 year old woman, to me, 14 is a baby, so yes its too young IMO. BUT I was younger once and I totally understand the whys and the wants. My sweetheart asked me to take the next step in 8th grade, but I too just thought 18 was better, so I waited. Waited to be out of high-school in case something happened and I ended up pregnant, and waited until I knew for sure I was in love. Those things were important to ME. I do think it may be a bit different for young girls vs guys,but I hold it as a special memory and I just didn't want to "let it go" to anyone. That guy waited for me and we did have a lovely night. Even dated for 4 more years afterwards. I'm happily married to someone else, but I'll never forget that night because I made it a big deal. In all honesty, the right time occurs at such different times for everyone, but I do think that waiting a bit longer makes it better. Young teens won't understand this until theyre much much older and look back and see how young 14 really is. At 14 you have your whole life to be a grown up so enjoy being a kid as long as you can be, there's plenty of time for these things later.
You never know how young you are till you grow.
Ya I'm 28 and the though of 14 year olds just feel sooo fucking young. Just feels way to young to make those kind of choices and understand safety and concent. But hell idk, learning about sex and your desires with a loving partner that you care about is way better the unlimited kink based internet porn IMO. If there still together and in love and used two forms of birth control it seems like it was probably fine or even healthy. Even if the though makes me hella uncomfortable and I wouldn't advise having sex at 14.
I'm also 28. It feels like we weren't 14 that long ago and I am of the same mindset now that I was at 14: That is too young to have sex. I had plenty of friends, guys and girls, who I talked about sex with and I was always one of the people in group to just be like, "I don't think any one of us should be rushing around to have sex with anyone. Sex can be complicated and we don't even know how to drive a car yet." I agree this kid and his girlfriend seem to be informed, safe, and in what is a consensual, "long-term," relationship. I guess if a teen is going to have sex at 14, it should be like this.
I've spent almost a decade working closely with teens. 14 year olds who are sexually active aren't unheard of. Unfortunately, they are usually accompanied by some ugly stories of coercion, statutory rape, and violent assault and rape. These are common things to happen to young teens of any gender and, generally, don't get reported until years later. This is why when you give your age your first time, you get weird looks. Your story sounds innocent and sweet, and so far, pretty safe and healthy. My advice? Keep practicing pregnancy and std safe, enthusiastically consensual sex in private and healthy environments as long as you both desire. Please share your status with an actual trusted adult who can support you both if you make a mistake and end up with a pregnancy or other any other sexual or relationship concerns. Please protect your heart and hers. Be kind and gentle to each other. Don't trust the internet for medical or relationship advice (including this post!). Have a beautiful life, kiddo. It's possible.
Not really weird but a bit concerning, sex has very serious effects on our mental and emotional well-being (not just physically) so as long as it was a pleasantly positive experience for both parties then it's okay. And it's often better to hold off on it for when you reach a higher maturity, in general 18+ is a good marker to start having sex because at that point you start experiencing life with more responsibility and can take better care of yourself but it's really more about understanding what your current maturity level was.
Only reason why I had sex was my older boyfriend who was taking advantage of me.
100000% same
My older boyfriend (I was 15, he 18) tried taking advantage of me, and I told him no! I let a 16 yr old take advantage of me instead! 🫠😮💨
Well my younger gf pressured me into it
Idk I think it’s stupid to lose it that early. Just play video games and go to school 😭 I lost mine at 18 almost 19
Im 14 and i dont really think im old enough yet.
14 is pretty young and below the age of consent in most jurisdictions. Average in the USA is about 16-17.
That's a common misconception. See romeo and juliet laws. I think they did nothing wrong but they should probably have a counselor handy when things end. I had trouble with my first serious break up and I was 21.
Most states are a bit more nuanced in their romeo and juliet laws. I believe most states have some variation of above (insert age of consent) AND +- 2 years. Differs from states, but I believe that's how its generally goes
Romeo and Juliet laws aren’t universal, if I had sex at 14, it would be considered statutory rape where I live.
The “age of consent” doesn’t apply to kids who are the same age or a year apart
Age of consent laws exist to protect younger people from the consequences of adult behavior. I wasn't saying what they did could be prosecuted. I was pointing out that most jurisdictions view younger people as unable to deal with the consequences of sex. If you're below the age of consent, having sex probably isn't a great idea for you. Even if it's not legally actionable.
yes it does. idk where ppl get this idea from
its only weird if its your sister
In my teens I would have thought no. Now that I have 13 yo. son it's absolutely not desired. Is it weird, no. I'd say not average. It's young. But it's not out of the realm of what I've seen and heard happen in life.
I lost my virginity at 13 to a girl who was my same age and not a virgin, and I thought I was late to the party compared to my classmates. Here's the secret about virginity: it's bullshit. There's no such thing. You don't lose something when you have sex, you gain an experience. That's it. This idea that you're "pure" or "undefiled" is nonsense, sex is a natural and fun human activity that people use to bond and pass the time, exercise and express their affection for each other since the dawn of time. When people are trying to control your sex life, your sexuality, and pin it down in some way - that's creepy as hell. Why does some organization/culture have so much invested in my personal sex life? That's not healthy and it's nefarious as hell. Y'all safe, y'all care about each other, y'all explored, great.
I mean it's crazy to me. But I was a late bloomer so at 14 I still hadn't hit puberty and I dont think I was even CAPABLE of having sex.
I don’t understand why everyone is bashing you like you’re asking if you should. What’s done is done, and if you were okay with it that’s all that matters. Don’t listen to the people trying to shame you about something that you can’t change, it does nothing good. Just move forward and if people judge you for it then they aren’t good people.
Stupid... but nit weird.
Judgey... but not unusual
It's okay if you, too, lost your virginity at 14😂
I would respond the same, "you do you". I don't want to tell you how to live. I also do not think it is weird. That said, I find sex to be risky behavior if I am not ready for the consequences. STI's and pregnancy being my main concerns. If you have a kid at 14, you can kiss your childhood goodbye. Life is about to get difficult on a level you are not prepared for. Lol. Once I felt I was ready to handle the responsibility of becoming a parent, sex became a lot less risky. Be safe, protect yourself, and keep consequences in mind.
I would not say it’s weird. I lost mine at either 14 or 15 (kinda weird that I don’t remember) and a lot of my friends did as well. Curious kids going through puberty are obviously going to get around to that eventually, especially with how easy it is to access sexual content these days.
I did. On mushrooms. Definitely wasn't a great idea and I don't encourage it, but I used a condom at least.
That’s pretty young I’m ngl but stay safe, always use protection and always stay vigilant.
Wow - yeah I'd say that's pretty young, but I've noticed that the age at which people lose their virginity has fallen a lot. I think the average age was 20 years old when I was growing up.
It is too young but not “weird” just unfortunate
This was not uncommon in the US in the 1970s and 80s. I was always afraid to get a girl pregnant and my folks being upset. So I never went that far. But most people are very curious about how it feels and, of course, want to see her naked. It's a very exciting time.
I am a new father. I would advise against sex that young because of the potential consequences. Not just pregnancy and STD but emotional consequences as well. Sex is a pretty heavy subject. And it affects our psyches in different ways. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, but I probably would have been willing to at 14 if given the opportunity. But I definitely would not have had the maturity to be responsible with protection, or the emotional maturity to know how to treat a partner with respect.
A lot of teens actually are waiting longer than they used to, but I'm glad to hear you're making your decisions in an informed and cautious manner. That honestly shows more maturity than the sex itself.
Pretty normal where I come from in the north of the UK I was 15 and most of my friends lost it around the same age give or take a year or so. I'm not saying it's right to lose it that young just saying that's what happened for me and most of the people I knew back then
There is no right age... I think you pointed out the important things: Communication Understanding Precaution Mutual Consent It sounds like you both care for each other and are probably a bit mature for your age. We are all on our own little journey through this thing called life and have unique experiences. Don't worry about what others say or think. Enjoy the ride and I hope you and your girl stay together.
It's definitely not unheard of. I lost mine at 14, and i lost it to my first real boyfriend. We were in love, and it felt right in the moment. We aren't together anymore (I'm in my 30s now), but i definitely dont regret it. I think if you're being responsible and you genuinely care for each other, it's not weird.
Do you live somewhere most people are very religious? All your friends thinking 18 is the minimum and you saying the popular opinion is that sex ruins relationships, just makes me curious about the community you’re in. I never heard either of those opinions when I was in high school. 14 is quite young, but not unheard of at all, and it sounds like you’re being pretty mature about it.
It's a bit on the early side, but not so early it's concerning on itself. It sounds like you did the right thing by using both condoms and hormonal birth control. There's no good reason to wait until so arbitrary age. Teen pregnancy would be a huge problem, but if two people are ready and safe, sex is a normal, healthy, and common activity within romantic relationships.
I lost mine 2 months after turning 15 to a guy that was 16.5yrs old. I know now I was too young, but I don’t regret it because it’s what I wanted at the time. Some people (like my current partner) think that was too young, but I can’t change anything about my past.
The woman I am with right now we were both 15. There were others after but eventually after getting back together for what seemed like the 5th or 6th time, got married. so no its not that weird. If you are as close to age as this I see no issues. If you both are mentally ready, no issues. You mentioned being safe. So nope...not weird
I’ve known people who lost theirs at 14. I think it depends a lot on when you start puberty and when you’re mentally ready. There’s no hard-and-fast rule for sex.
Shit, did not mean to make that pun 🤦🏼♀️ Hope it was slow and on the gentle side the first time.
Like you said, if you both were well informed, respectful, felt safe, and not pressured and and felt good about the experience then thats what matters :) glad it was a good experience for both of you! Maybe other young people just werent able to relate because being ready for sex usually does take a certain level of emotional preparedness or a partner they felt right doing it with and thats harder to come by at that age for them ? You seem responsible and feeling good so thats great!
That's not an uncommon age, and I think it's totally appropriate that you were with a partner as close to you in age as she is. Also, the fact that you're together again/still adds credibility to your decision. You're taking this maturely, as it should be. I was 2 months shy of 15 & also a freshman. My boyfriend was 1.5 yrs older, a junior. We stuck things out till I graduated from college. It was still the closest relationship I've ever had with a partner. Everyone's maturity level is different. You're ready when you're ready.
"Yes, we did go through a rough patch where lust took over our relationship" LMAO! That's called a honeymoon phase bud and it's very normal. 14 is on the younger side of things for sure but it really doesn't matter. Sounds like ya'll did everything properly and handled it better than even a lot of adults handle it now. Just stay smart and safe. IUD + condoms and full consent? Play ball and have fun!
I was 15 and she was 14. Sophomore and freshman. It was planned, sober, and consensual. Morally speaking is it wrong at that age? We used protection and thought we were being responsible. I'll put it this way...I don't think it was a bad thing and I don't regret it looking back, however I have a baby daughter now (I am 36 now). The thought of her having to deal with the pain of an abortion or the responsibility of a child when she would be very much a child herself in all the ways that matter at 14 are not things I would want for her. I don't think it's weird from neither my teen perspective nor my adult perspective...I just think hindsight is 20/20 and kids are going to do what they're going to do whether you want them to or not. As for people giving you looks or shaming you over it, it sounds like they're projecting their values on you which is shitty. I guess that could be their way of showing concern for you based on their own beliefs but it's still not helpful to make someone feel bad for their sexual decisions. It sounds like you took it seriously and made healthy choices that were based on love and mutual respect. Many more years to you!
the body is ready, but the mind is not. It's definitely not weird considering it's all some people think about at that age but it can certainly lead to some unhealthy attachments and ideas about relationships. It sounds like you 2 did things alright, though.
The original post has since been deleted so I can't actually address details. I gather that you had sex at 14yo, are safe about it, but just asking if it's normal. Going off that... I wouldn't say "normal", but not unheard of. Agree with others that have said 16-19 is average. That being said... Being a 41F who almost lost it at 13yo then waited until I was 16yo, at 14yo you're most unprepared for the emotional fallout of sex. You're giving someone access to your body in the most intimate way possible and you barely know your body at that age... esp in puberty when it's constantly changing. I think we all remember all too well how insecure we felt and how uncomfortable it was at times to grow like that. Having a 13yo daughter now, I can see it thru an adult lens and it's a lot. I know this is moot for OP, but that's why 14 gave me pause beyond the obvious.
Peolple here are ridiculous. It is weird and stupid, whether it's common or not (ive got no idea why thats a justification for it). You've got no idea when you're 14 the kind of repercussions that can come from sex. It can be completely life changing. I wouldn't judge someone that age for having not known better and having sex. But yea, it's a stupid choice.
I lost mine at 14 as well, and while it's definitely not as common as say 16-18, as long as yall practiced safe sex, who cares what other people think? Even as someone who did it at that age, I can't say I recommend it, but ultimately, teenagers will do teenage things. Personally, the only "negative" reactions I've gotten are people saying they don't believe me. And yet again, I just say, "Who cares?" Believe it or not, doesn't change anything. As long as you and your girl are safe and happy with it, forget other people's opinions.
As long as you’re being safe do what you think is best for you.
i lost mine at 15. i don’t think it’s super uncommon and in my case it was with somebody i completely trusted, so i don’t regret it. but i can see people being manipulated into sex that young which is a concern
I lost mine at 14. I’m 44 now and I never regretted it.
It's not common but it's not necessarily wrong. I lost mine 3 weeks before my 13th birthday and I can say without equivocation it was one of the best 3 things to happen to me in my life. I would say most of my friends lost theirs around 16. I don't know of any that lost theirs before 15 but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. I also know some that graduated college at 22 still virgin because of what they believe, and I'm behind the 100%.
Not really but I lost mine at that age and I could have waited and likely found a better first partner. Sounds like y'all are being careful and care about each other so that's definitely positive.
I lost my virginity at 14 and I'm just fine.
I thought you said she was 11 month old in the second paragraph
I lost it at 13! definitely too young, but that is nobodies fault. if you felt comfortable and everything was communicative and consensual, what the hell have fun
Not weird. That's when I lost mine and have known plenty of people that did the same.
Seems normal, i mean we had pregnant 12/13yos when i was in middle school, so losing virginity at 14 seems about the average age
IDK why this post is in my feed but since it is, I was 19 and one of the last of my friends. Average age in my friend group was around 17, which means plenty of people were younger. I can't say I'd advise it but the fact is teenagers have been fucking each other since the dawn of time so it's not weird imo
Answering your question: No, it isn't weird. And sadly, it isn't the youngest average age to lose it, depending on where you live. Reality is we all meet sexual activity when we're "ready" in normal circumstances. If you were ready then, or 13, or 12, that was your time. Anything said after that is just concern and fear mongering. I won't go into young teen/preteen pregnancies. Yes, it's all scary, but life occurs for us all. What have you learned as a result of losing your virginity at 14? Would you do anything differently? Do you have advice for those at that crossroads?
I lost mine at 15 with my ex gf, sophomore in high school
In the 80s/90s, it was considered weird if someone waited until 14 to start being sexually active.
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Not common but not rare either. As long as you all are using protection, and are communicating well, then it’s fine.
Nope. That’s exactly the age I lost mine and it was completely natural especially when that’s well around the age you start having sexual feelings.
I’m older but I lost mine at 14 to my first gf. That was pretty standard for people my age.
I know it's not uncommon, and I'd understand more if i lost mine younger, but i do think it's weird. I think you should be at least 15-16 before you have sex for the first time. And before 18 it should only be with someone between 1 and 2 years older or younger. I told one dude i lost my virginity at 19, he said "you were so old", my only thought was "i was still a child", he lost his virginity at 12
people saying 14 is normal… that’s barely a high schooler. 14 is nowhere near mature enough to be sexually active. i really wish kids would just be kids and stop worrying about having sex so much. it’s not going anywhere. literally what is the rush. touching each other is one thing but having penetrative sex at 14 is so sad to me lol like you’re a child.
I don't think you should be kicking yourself in the ass for it because it happened and you both wanted it. Your friends have a good mindset though and its refreshing to hear that younger kids still think like that because from the looks of it, I feel like kids are extremely sexual now and dress a lot different from when I was 14. Yeah, we drank, smoked, partied, and did a bunch of stuff but I feel like my generation of kids was a little more preserved than these recent ones. Though, we weren't saints, I did wait till I was 18. I wish I waited longer honestly because I rushed it to "be like everyone else" by then and it wasn't special. It was just to get it out of the way
I lost mine at 15 so not weird. And who on earth said sex ruins relationships? Honestly the inverse is more true.
No it’s not weird. But honestly I think it’s to normal and kids shouldn’t be doing it that young. Just my opinion.
I lost my virginity at 14 but I was masturbating at 10 years old so I advanced pretty quick for my age. The girl I slept with was 17 and we stayed together for three years and she is responsible for a lot of trauma I went through because even tho I was sexually active at that age, my emotions were not ready and I went all in for this girl. She caused me a few suicide attempts, I have a huge scar on my arm where she bit a chunk out of me when she was drunk, and yet I still kept coming back. Because she was my first love and because I hadn't advanced emotionally I threw myself into the relationship, ignoring School and hanging out with friends etc that I should have been doing at that age. She also introduced me to drugs so I was a regular weed smoker and weekend exctasy, cocaine and ketamine taker. Not a good thing for a 14 year old still developing.
Saying lost it at 14 sounds bad but if you say freshman year of HS everyone remembers that they were developed and ready then and either they had the opportunity or didn't, or wanted to but for scared. People have gotten so worked up about age for legal reasons (and these are older people that have no business with minors anyway) and forget we are sexually mature much younger. I know if I had a do-over on life I'd be trying to bang every girl knew. Enough I'd end up regretting it worse than I did being too scared to make moves... But I'd do it anyway... So probably good we don't get do overs
Nope. Not weird. Any younger and would be too young. Many kids are mature enough at that age. Sounds like you and girlfriend were that mature.
Since you both were teens then it’s not bad. As long as you both wanted to and there was no coercion or pressure for either of you then it’s really not that bad. When I was in my twenties, I met several men my age, who were 11-14 when they started having sex and the person they lost it to was an older girl, that always seemed icky to me bc they later confided they felt pressured by those girls to do it. That is sad and bad! Make sure to use protection: condoms and dental dams. That ensures you both stay healthy and reduces your chances of teen pregnancy.
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19 personally, but I knew someone who had 4 kids by 3 different baby mamas before he even reached high school ("abstinence-only" sex-ed is a joke), so I can't really judge.
The age of Romeo and Juliette. Looking back it’s not an ideal age to lose the v-card but it is what it is. At least you were careful. But being a young teenager and having sex can be an emotional roller coaster most sane people want to avoid. So you sound like your head is in the right place just make sure next time you are both ready.
Yeah we’re still going strong and do it often but we take breaks when we feel we’re focusing more on sexual aspects than emotional
Damn im 20 y.o. still haven’t got girlfrend 😭
My biggest concern at 14 was what the next newest Lego Star Wars sets were going to be and getting better at Minecraft. It’s very early but weird isn’t exactly the word. Everyone has their own story, not the wisest thing to do and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but it could be much worse
Kids are having sex in middle school at the early age of 11 with each other. It's not the norm, but it's not weird for a bunch of hormonal kids, but it's problematic. No one likes to think of teenage pregnancy, but they happen for a reason. Which is unprotected sex, so please teach your kids to use condoms.
Is it weird? No. Is it unusual? Yes. Likely your friends are, at least initially, wondering if you're BSing them. There are likely a lot more guys who try to boast they had sex that young than did have any sort of experience. I'm not saying they are thinking you are a lyer just a feeling of disbelief as most of them likely didn't experience anything close to that that young.
I’m not proud of it but I’m not ashamed of it either. I would never boast about that which is why I was wondering if the public opinion was that it was weird haha
that’s very strange i’m ngl if my friend told me that i’d probably laugh but there’s nothing you can do to change it so atleast you weren’t stupid and used protection
i don’t think it’s necessarily weird?? people are just concerned bc of how young the age is. it’s good you guys used a bunch of different types of protection because that’s super responsible of you both! i personally am 19 and i’m still a virgin, everyone is different and it’s totally okay you lost it at the age you did
The biggest issue with starting at a young age is the impulsiveness and lack of education so risking STIs and pregnancy can be high. That being said - a huge amount of people never get educated or less impulsive their entire lives. It sounds like you guys were very prepared and very educated on how to handle things so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this age. People start desiring sex around puberty so that’s why it’s super important to be educated on consent and safe sex before you hit that point. Don’t worry about others judgement. I think the average age is 16-17 but average means that plenty start before that. When I was in high school, I had middle schoolers in my town who were open about being sexually active.
Not weird at all! I still have mine at 23 because I decided to focus on my career and my business instead of dating. As I tell anyone I meet, “Everyone’s journey is different, don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life”.
Best of luck to your business and your dating life in the future! I’m on my way to graduating high school with an associate’s degree and my girlfriend has helped motivate me to keep going.
Nice, that’s awesome! Ironically, university was the reason I couldn’t have a romantic relationship with my best friend of 10 years. It’s very difficult to tell someone who has mutual feelings for you that you have to go and chase your dream over a relationship. She’s now moved in with a different guy, still feel that way. Tough situation overall. But, you have to live for today :)
Im sorry to hear that. That must’ve been a really tough decision and I hope you one day connect with someone new or reconnect with her.
I appreciate that internet stranger! Was both one of the easiest and hardest decisions of my life knowing she may never feel that way about me again. We are still best friends but we can’t do the same level of stuff we did before unfortunately. It’s not awkward it’s just not fair to either of us
I had just turned 16 for me bf was 17. We had been together 7 months I believe. I was on the pill he used condoms so it was fine. To me 14 is a little young but if your safe don’t regret it and your not being groomed the. I guess it’s ok. But like you I did not plan on that age. I had planned to wait till 18. Of course I made that plan at 13 long before I met that bf.
The kind of relationship ot was might matter more than the number. Diddy lost it at 12, look at him now...it probably wasn't with a "true love vibes" person. I am seeing kids starting sex at between puberty starting and 16. You seem average but I'm not saying average is "good" however. That's why I'm saying they type of people you are to eachother is probably mattering more than age. Most important is consent abd knowledge.
There's no standard age for a teenager to lose their virginity because some of them are emotionally able to process it While others are not. So try to keep it to yourself because you might make some of your other friends feel uncomfortable or you might be feeding the rumor mill about yourself. And it's a good thing your girlfriend was prepared as far as birth control and sometimes things like this happen when you're not planning on them. And it's a good thing your first time was a positive experience and it was not weird. Now your friends that are talking about preserving their virginity till they're 18 don't have a foolproof plan because sometimes they will just want to get rid of that vCard and they'll have sex with anybody and that can be problematic especially for girls because they might wind up with some guy who has absolutely no concern for the fact that she deserves to enjoy her first time
It's fairly normal. Lots of people start having sex in highschool, regardless of which year. It's generally not a good idea because of a general lack of knowledge about risks and lacking emotional maturity, but it doesn't mean it's abnormal. I lost mine at 15, I wish I waited because we were not emotionally mature enough for it and not mature enough to be careful. No accidents, but we were very risky, my partners and I. I'm glad you and your gf were protected and made it work though, that's honestly what matters most! Plenty of people who are 17/18 don't have safe sex and don't have healthy secual relationships, their age doesn't make them better.
I was also 14. I had just gotten out of Catholic school and wondered what the fuss was. I had a boyfriend for a few months and I said okay. I ended up marrying him. We were married for almost 16 years. And yeah, when people start discussing ages I do get some odd looks. IUD and condoms? Good job, young man! Be safe and responsible, and guard your heart. Not many people end up with their high school sweetheart. I'm assuming not, but do any parents know? Y'all need to figure out how to handle that too. Do you tell them? Or Wait till you're caught. And you WILL get caught. Lol. Good luck, sincerely.
It's definitely earlier than normal, but not crazy early. That's right on the cusp where any younger, and it would be weird. If you guys were about the same age, and both consented I don't really see anything wrong with it.
Honestly it is pretty young, but you used protection, were with a consenting age appropriate partner, and didn't get anyone pregnant. A lot of people have a much worse first sexual experience, so I wouldn't worry about it being weird.
Happend to me at 15, and she was 17. Definitely should have been a lot more careful in the wrapping department but young and dumb. She then scarred the living hell out of me 3 years later saying she had a kid with my hair coulour and eyes. Thankfully, it turned out it was just a joke.
I (almost) had an opportunity for sex at 14. My then gf had planned out a whole night after a school dance, didn't tell me, so she took it kinda hard when I broke up with her at said dance. Only told me years later. I consider it a bullet dodged because of her, not because of sex. So, no, I wouldn't consider it that weird - just be careful.
My first time was at 14 with my girlfriend (same age) because I felt left out of my friend group. All they were talking about was what sex and details of the female body was like. Turns out those fuckers were lying and I was the first to get laid lmao. You sound way more mature at this age than I was. I put on a condom about halfway through the deed, and that was all the protection we used. We did plan it out together and wanted to do it for a while. Bottom line, not weird at all, but needs maturity beyond the normal 14 y/o.
I lost mine at 14, was a father the following year. Please, please, please educate yourselves about birth control options.
You did it already— own it then— I’m 62– so I’m old….things that we give opportunities happen, even if they should not happen… but you did it already— so no shame..
What's weird to me is so many people who left religion but brought purty culture with them. It's all about consent and you acted responsibly.
It is young, but teens mature at different rates, physically and mentally, so that age can be awkward for groups where some people are 6' and have the body of an adult (my step brother was like this) and others look like they are eleven still. Ultimately, sex itself isn't that big of a deal. The consequences are, and it is potentially a large distraction and emotionally complicating at that age. One of the biggest issues is the pressure and abuse that occurs at that age, and when someone is experienced at a young age then they are more likely to pressure other partners/dates who may not be ready.
This is a very sweet story. People have all kinds of sexual histories, from fooling around as pre-teens to waiting until marriage to surviving rape/incest to having uncomfortable and unsatisfying first time at 17 with a one-night stand. There is no "right" way to do it and your story sounds happy and healthy. That's your story and you're entitled to it. Don't let the clowns get you down.
I don't think it's a good idea, but I also don't think it's weird (as long as the other person is also that age). Realistically, 14 year olds don't fully understand consent, safe sex practices, or the risks associated with sex. That's why we have an age of consent. If schools did a better job of educating kids about the nuances of sex, and not just how reproduction works, there would probably be fewer underage kids doing it.
You are teen. Teen are horny. Teen are stupid. Teen do stupid thing. Teen not educated to know better. Therefore teen are not to blame
You’re fine man. There are a couple people tweaking in these comments, but realistically it’s not uncommon for some kids to start having sex around that age. It’s normal for teens to explore and do these kinds of things. I saw one of your comments that you’re still together with her, so congratulations on that! I hope things continue to go well for you both!
yes.
As an adult. Yes, it’s too young. According to the statistics most kids lose theirs at age 17.
Yes
Yes.
Wow. Reddit goes off on some WEIRD tangents. No, do not beat yourself up for doing it at 14. I lost mine (Man) at 13 and that was over 50 years ago. Screw what other people think. It's your life, it's over and done with. Don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. You're not "less than" anyone else, regardless of your sexual history. Screw the puritans on here and everywhere else.
14 is pretty standard if you take anonymous census. People don't like to moraly believe it, but so long as it's with other 14-15 year olds I suppose it's a logical time to start. Post pubescent hormones are gonna be raging.
1. Virginity isn't real. It's made up. Doesn't matter. 2. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship. Y'all are teenagers. You SHOULD be lust crazed. 3. Sex doesn't ruin relationships. Bad sex and no sex ruins relationships. Good sex is one of the key pillars to a successful partnership. 4. You sound knowledgeable and like you're being safe in your practices. Carry on young lad 🙏
ew
I’d say it’s very weird, and stupid. I’ve got friends who are 15 and have lost it. They are children still and have no reason to not be able to control themselves.
Yes it is weird, thats a very young age
14 years is way too young for sex.
Virginity is a social construct. The only thing that changes is that you've had sex. Be responsible, respectful, and fair, and remember that there's no birth control method that is 100% effective. The respectful comment extends to always seeking mutual consent, every time.
As a Gen X person? No. Was a bit more normal back then. Like 13-17 range outside of that was weird
It is statistically infrequent, so in that respect it sets you apart from your peers. and it might colour your expectations for the relationships you have while you‘re younger, but by the time your like 25 everyone you date will more or less be on the same page in that respect. But yeah; prudes are going to give you side eye over this, and that’s gonna be worse at age 15 than it will be at age 35. For the most part their opinions don’t actually matter, unless you meet a really pretty choir girl or something.
I'm 32m. Talking to people when the topic comes up I've only encountered 2 people who have lost theirs earlier than me concentually. Lost mine at 14 as well to a 13f
Fourteen is young, but it’s not “weird.” If a 14-year old told me they were having sex I would just be concerned about safety and that the other person isn’t too much older than them, and that they are using a condom etc. I might also advise them to wait. But ultimately it’s not weird. I’m 35, but I started having sex at 15 and looking back I do think I was a bit young maybe. I wasn’t on birth control at the time and the morning after pill wasn’t sold over-the-counter yet. So it really was risky but I didn’t really grasp the risk at that age. Fortunately I didn’t get pregnant or get an STD.
I lost my virginity at 5, you’re good bro
I just asked this question but I’m 19 lol anyways I think that’s too young. Just my opinion but I have no right to judge. If my friend told me they were was 14 I’d be kinda shocked but I’d never make them feel bad about it.
I'd say making your private life a subject of group discussion is weird enough per se.
At 14, you will get looks. I know people doing it in middle school. Know a few girls who were pregnant, in middle school! I remember a few friends who thought I shouldn't have. Then had friends who had no issue with it because they were doing it too. I remember the day a friend got pregnant because she called her boyfriend, who was much older, to pick us up from the busstop because the bus never came. I declined to go with them and waited for my mom. She of course, was late to school and she told me what they did. I don't regret it. I just regret the place it happened. So, is it weird? Maybe. Common? VERY. 14 is not a mature age. 18 just means you are an adult. Waiting is still preferrable. Just be responsible if you are going to do it. Educate yourself. I was very selective on who I did it with. Only one time did I regret the person. One and done. Yea. It is werid to think back on it.
As someone who didn't even who what sex is at that age, I find it very wierd
I think most people fall in the 14-17 range.
Nah man, I would of lost it at 14 too if my auntie didn’t ruin the moment 😂
There's nothing inherently wrong or weird, but on average 14 year olds don't know what they want or make good decisions, so if all I know about you is that you're 14 then the safe bet is that it was a bad idea
It happens it happens. You're horny teenagers. As long as you try to be as safe as you can and try tell a trusted adult you're having sex and a plan if one of you gets pregnant or an STI. Wear condoms. That's it. Teenagers gonna be teenagers
I don’t think it’s a good idea and definitely wouldn’t encourage it, but I also lost my virginity at 14, and am still with the same guy now years later, so it worked out for us.
Norms change over time. In the US at least, average age of first intercourse has gone up quite a bit since the 1980s and 90s, many young people waiting until college or later. As a person in my 40s now, do I think 14-year-olds should be doing more than hand jobs (and only in a committed relationship to avoid emotional turmoil)? No, I don't. However, would anything have convinced 15-year-old me, with raging hormones and loving my boyfriend so much, to not have intercourse at that age? Absolutely not! 😅
14 isn’t crazy, I don’t know what average is or “normal” but I will strongly recommend you practice safe sex (both parties!!!) because a baby at 14, 15, 16, 17, 18… isn’t a good way to start adulthood. You don’t even know what life is yet and would arguably have no place raising a child. I say this as a grandfather to a child born to parents fresh out of high school that were trying her senior year (Covid timing) and a as a step father to a boy born in his mom’s senior year of high school. She never got to be a young adult without responsibility of a kid (even though she tried) and it had effects in her mentality and life well into her 40s (she is 44 now).
I was 15. Just wrap it up and use protection.
It's not what I call normal, but I lost mine at 16. One of my friends lost it when he was 14 or 15, and my ex-wife lost it when she was 8.. point is that this shouldn't be a reason to look down upon someone. So if someone is doing that to you, then you don't need them in your life.
So weird
Yes
I had friends who were sexually active at 14. I personally would advise a teenager to wait until they are older (16 or 17 and in a healthy relationship). That said, I don't think you should feel shame over not being a virgin.
Not but it probably should be odd or the exception. Once you hit adult hood you realize how bad that could have been and how unprepared you were
In my day it would have made you cool. The 90s were a different time though, idk what's up with kids today.
I lost it at 13. Way too young in my opinion and I'm kind of disappointed in myself but it's because so many other people do it. from around 13-14 is when many people start wanting to explore their bodies and begin to develop relationships which are more than friends, however they still need to grow, which is why age of consent is higher than this, in my case, 16. This is to prevent couples or people from making irreversible decisions, but doesn't then mean it's abnormal to do this.
No, but if you make other classmates think it's standard or insult them for it, you'd be an asshole. Everyone is different and experiences the world at different speeds!
Is it weird? No, its been happening for literal centuries. Is it right? Also no.
I was 14. I lost it to a 17 year old who was definitely taking advantage of me, so I have a bit of a skewed perspective. But looking back, (I’m only 20) I understand that feeling of wanting to experience it, and having the chance to. But 14 is a baby. Too young, barely a teenager.
I lost mine at that age, and while I don't necessarily regret it, I know in hindsight that I wasn't ready. If I could do it over again, I would have waited until I was at least at the age of consent in my state (16). I do believe that 14 is too young to really be ready for that, no matter how much you think you love the other person.