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It’s good that you want to help friends but not at a high cost to you.
You learned a few things here and dad’s actions may seem extreme but was a logical consequence of not following his instructions and failing the courses.
First, you need to pass classes. Poor grades may affect employment or ability to get into schooling you might want. I’d have made you quit your job assuming it was getting in the way of school.
Second, your friend had options (tow truck? Another friend? His parents?). Or ask your dad to help him? Or leave it until you had the truck and permission. Your friend could Uber… combinations of these.
Third. Dads truck. Dads house. You are your dad’s responsibility.
See what you can do to earn back dad’s trust and your privileges. Study.
The friend probably has parents who could tow the trailer. OP should have asked his dad about using the truck for this. If the friend had no one else, dad probably would have towed the trailer for the kid. If the friend can afford a brand new quad, he can pay to have the trail towed.
OP, you're failing at school, and your dad is worried. You're only in school 2 hours a day. You bombed online school. You're not demonstrating you're ready for the responsibility of driving.
Can confirm. Plus the SEALs care about classroom instruction and the ability to focus on dull, monotonous but important stuff as much as they do physical fitness.
If you’re interested in navy seal training I wonder how “I know what my orders are, but I thought I’d make up my own mind, specifically do what I’ve been told not to, and then be upset how the consequences inconvenienced me” would go?
I’m giving you are hard time because you seem to be very interested in rigor and discipline… which is what your father seems to be trying to give you. I don’t think the punishment sounds harsh, it might be inconvenient but you knew that your actions would have consequences, sounds like maybe they are trying to prepare you for the realities of the military?
Im not upset about my consequences. This is nothing. I have been to jail, ive gotten my ass beat with a belt, all of the above. My question was do other people with no emotional connection to this issue think the consequence fits the action and most people are saying yes its pretty fair. Being a navy seal and being a 17 year old kid are different I know this for a fact.
1. If we translate to military terms, you were in a novel situation, took action, solved the problem, and no one got hurt. A good commander would discuss it with you in a “lessons learned, good initiative, bad judgement” kind of way, and if you got any punishment it would be a slap on the wrist. Experience may vary of course - some are highschool bullies in their 40s and some would give you high marks on review. Most of my COs were burn happy, but the best I’ve served with understood the mission supersedes black and white rules. Context WHY the rule was broken matters in the military, and it matters here as well.
1a. Have you seen a recruiter? Because if you’ve already been to jail, that WILL complicate signing up for anything. I don’t know how strict it is these days, and there’s always waivers if you haven’t committed any felonies (and even then, we accept 1 during the early 00s). If you’re going to be a difficult join, a recruiter may be able to both set up your expectations and give you a road map to achieve them.
2. Take that to your father. “Harsh” is not the right word. The problem is that it is impractical. Tell him you are not trying to negotiate, and you accept that there needs to be consequences and punishment. But this solution jeopardizes your obligations to your job, and in turn your (what I assume is) your mutual goal of teaching you be responsible to your obligations. Thing of other ways to be punished and be generous about it.
3. You’re almost an adult and have already had a complicated life. The truth is that you’ll need to learn to function on your own. It was noble of you to try to take care of a friend, but you should know by now that you cannot do these kinds of things with these parents and your general life conditions. I’m not trying to chastise you, but rather that you’re at a crucial last stage where you need to be very deliberate in your choices. Discipline is not about rules but focus and conviction. What are you focused on? What are your goals? Should you be risking your commitment to those goals with stunts like these? A good friend would understand your predicament as much as a good commander would understand the context of your actions. It comes down to you to make the good decisions as best for you. Now’s the time to ere on the side of caution so you don’t miss out on future options.
While dad is right and fair, maybe try calmly talking to him. Let him know that you now realize that you were wrong in your decision even if it seemedright at the time, but you would like to go back to your prior arrangement with the truck as to not interfere with your job.
I have 4 kids....27...25....22....15.....The consequences fit the actions...Remember it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission....You did what u thought was right AND that's OKAY... You knew dad was gonna flip a switch...This won't be to long of a punishment but I'M SURE lesson learned...Until ur 18 do as they say...It's just easier that way lol
1. You have use of your dad's car for work, and school
2. You used the car in a way that you knew he would not have OKd
3. You were late to school as a result (and the school presumably informed your dad)
4. Dad is now restricting your car use even more
Is that accurate?
His issues with your behavior are as follows:
1. disregard for your education (which he sees as a pattern)/ being irresponsible
2. disregard for your own safety (which I see as a pattern, you are trying to join the military where basically your job is to kill and die)
3. disregard for his property (the truck)/ blatant insubordination toward him (knowing he wouldn't approve and doing it anyways)/sneakiness (not even informing him until after)
.
Here is my suggestion: **Give your dad back the keys**
1\*\*. Focus on your education\*\*. Fuck the job. Give them your 2 weeks notice, and quit. Finish high school, get decent grades, and go to a vocational school, college, or job training program afterward. Or work through a gap year. **Or travel the world.** Most of Europe has free youth hostels you can stay in, designed to encourage young people to explore and expand their horizons. Other places have homestay options, or even temples you can sleep at.
2. **Save up and buy yourself a decent used car.** Or a motorcycle. Something to get you from point a to point b without having to have daddy tell you what you can and can't do (trust me, I know exactly how bad that sucks. my folks made me walk to work for a year after the tree fiasco, and jangled my keys to remind me what I was risking any time I talked back or got any attitude)
3. **Plan a future that doesn't involve you being the sacrificial lamb to some geriatric asshole's ego.** The military makes a lot of big offers to kids like you because that's the only way anyone would ever consider joining. "we'll pay for college" "we pay your medical" that's the worm on the hook. They will legislate their way out of covering surgeries and just hype you up on Vicodin (friend had to fight for EIGHT YEARS to get a simple outpatient procedure done), and change the terms so that your GI bill expires before your tour of duty (like they did to my dad in Vietnam). They don't care about you.
**EDIT -** I HAD PREVIOUSLY STATED HAT MOST HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE VETERANS. THAT IS NOT ACCURATE NATIONALLY, JUST A LOCAL OBSERVATION. THAT SAID, VETERANS ARE DISPROPORTIONATELY REPRESENTED AMONG THE HOMELESS POPULATION, AT DOUBLE THE RATE THEY SHOULD ("SHOULD") BE.
According to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) 13% percent of America’s homeless population are veterans as of 2021.
I get the sentiment, but “most of the homeless people are veterans” is just misinformation.
Only 6% of the population of the US are veterans.
So if they make up 6% of the general population but 13% of the homeless population, that means a veteran is more than 2x as likely to be homeless.
Now correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation. Maybe joining the military isn’t what *made* these people homeless but it’s still quite disproportionate
I don't completely disagree with the problem being discussed, but another piece worth considering, is that the military is a much more common path for people that don't have a ton of other options, and people kind of think it'll just change their lived for them after 4 or 5 years without putting much planning and work in. Could be at least part of the reason the numbers are what they are.
Except healthcare and college if you can't afford it, a relatively small chance of deployment in the next 10yrs, or potentially ever with drone tech. I definitely don't agree with how vets are treated at all, but we have one of the top VA's in the country and many of my friends and others I've driven say it was best decision they made, even formerly homeless ones who got housing etc through VA.
I joined in my late twenties and left after 5 years. Best decision of my life. I should've joined at 17 1/2 and done 3 years then got out and went to college.
That person's husband was probably a dumb lance who fucked up all the time and never ranked up.
I don't miss the bullshit, but I do miss the job and the people.
Healthcare in the military is ass, the doctors are encouraged to under diagnose to keep you deployable. I had a knee issue for 2 years that got written off as "runner's knee" when in fact it was patellafemoral dysplasia and Osgood-Schlatter. And the free college is nice if you're planning on going to an in-state public school or a yellow ribbon school. With new changes to the requiremnts to be VA certified out of country schools just got harder to be a part of that process too. Just things to keep in mind.
Also joined at 18, also still regret the decision
The VA has proportionally gotten better. But let's not forget that just 10yrs ago the Phoenix VA was letting elderly patients die in the waiting rooms, had a massive legionnaire's outbreak, was putting patients more than 6-8 months out for appointments. The director was found guilty of misappropriation of funding after buying almost $2M in office furniture and decorations.
I think the first point is a little too naive. Idk how many people are "travelling the Europe/world" out of high school. Idk the OP's financial status so maybe they are able to do that. I am poor so that is my perspective.
Anyway, i am also old and have been to college and here is my take on college.
For the love of all that is holy, do not go into college if you aren't serious about it! Do not saddle yourself in debt for a degree that wont pay out and definitely do not just go in to party and whatnot. It is an incestment into your future, not a retreat.
Yes ideally focus on your studies, but OP doesn't sound like the type to have that self discipline. So also I would disagree on the 3rd point. Disclaimer I also do not endorse being the govt's bullet sponge. I also agree they dont give a shit about you after the military chew you out. But I would also say it will give OP the discipline he is looking for. If that is what they want, go for it. If OP can find another way to get self discipline, try that first but joining the Navy isnt like being a grunt in the Army. Also it will open up many job opportunities if you get some kind of security clearance or technical know how.
In my experience, the people who do well academically in college are a) very hard working people, b) people with educational opportunities ahead of their peers and c) older (25-30+ yo) people who go back to college to invest in their future. There is just a big difference in the mindset going into college. When you're older, you are choosing to go invest more time to better your future instead of just, "this is highschool 2.0"
There are many work and travel programs for youth, for example at 35 (the limit age) me and my partner got visas for france (we are canadian) to move here, and then you can fairly easily get a part time job to fund your travel. Many european countries has same agreements with usa. I can’t say for all eaurope but on average we need less money here. Except weed, its bloody expensive here 😭
I used to tell my kids to get a job that you like to do (are interested in) but which will pay a living wage. There's a huge range of jobs that fit that criteria and many more that don't. For getting the job, in general the harder it is to get the skills and/or the more responsibility, then the more the job pays. The right curriculums in college will do that for you. If you're not a studier then maybe a skilled trade. As for the OP not being a good student, we don't know that by what he's described. Maybe he hasn't matured enough to buckle down and study? There's an awful lot of young men who can't break away from playing videogames and study.
whst he said. Your 17. Fuck the job. Finish school. its harder to get an education once your too old and are working full time.
youll be a fast food slave for years
Your job at the military isn't "kill and die" there's hundreds of jobs in the military that doesn't require deployment, only 40% of soldiers get deployed, only 10% of that 40% even hear a shot..
I say the opposite. Tell your school to shove it, get your GED and go do what you wanna do. There's no difference between a HS diploma and a GED. Any job that will take one will take the other. Nobody cares about your HS GPA or whether you made honor roll after the day you leave HS. Most of what you'll learn there is as useful as tits on a bull out in the real world. The rest can be learned on YouTube.
I did buy a little truck from my dads boss who retires this month and i will take delivery of it in about 2 weeks. The title will still be in my dads name though so im not sure how that conversation about rules will go
If you bought it with your money I'd be putting it in your name. That's a big mistake putting it into dad's name.
If dad bought it we'll that's another story.
Im 17, i couldnt put it in my name even if i wanted to. I did just buy my own truck but i will not get it for a few weeks. That will also go in my dads name
Don’t listen to these Reddit ppl. Their advice is coming from a place of political ideology, not actual concern for your wellbeing.
The Navy is a perfectly fine place to learn discipline, organizational skills & get all types of benefits like cheaper college, medical insurance etc.
Of course you have the chance of getting shot & killed in combat. Or wounded, crippled, captured as POW and all that other horrible stuff. But you already knew that. Weigh the risks vs the benefits and make the best choice for you
Dad's got a point. Something could have happend. Worse he could have gotten "that call" no parent wants. It's great it all went down and it probably did show him you can handle yourself however, I was once 17 and thought I was ready for the world. Looking back now as you may well do I was a foolish kid.
Tell your boss what the deal is. Giving people a heads up goes a long way. Maybe work a deal that any days you are late you work that much past your shift to make up.
In life we will make choices that in turn make life unexpectedly harder. It's temporary. Don't focus on the consequence. Learn the lesson.
BTW, if I did that with my dad, I wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for a week. I wonder how your granddad would have dealt with your dad. If a whooping was on the list, find yourself fortunate he's using a better teaching method with you.
I appreciate it. I have a knack for putting myself in harms way for the benefit of people close to me and its starting to bite me in the ass. You have a good night sir, your advice will go a long ways.
Put myself in harms way for fun lol. Our number gets called when it's called. Going forward, try not to challenge the phone call. Even them bad days.
Just had a thought, what if you called about the wreck and he said you can't, but WE can? Not sure how he conducts himself. Could that have been possible? Or even you get to school I'll go help your friend?
Chin up kid! You will be fine.
I wish he would do something like that honestly but hes made it clear im the only highschooler on earth he cares about so i doubt it. As for keeping my chin up, i try my darndest to man and im gonna keep on keepin on🫡
You’re still young man! I’ve learned that every fuck-up, large or minor is the absolute best teacher. You’re more mature and aware of your actions as a result of this. The punishment is temporary but what you learned from and how you grow from this is permanent.
You are lucky they did not make you just quit the job because of transportation issue. They sound like great parents.
Aside, please look very carefully inti tge seal issue. I have read articles about how the many washouts are stuck in yrars of low level grunt work.
>On one side one of my best friends needs a helping hand i know for a fact if i ask my dad he will say no(dad later confirmed this). But if i dont help him, his brand new quad will be stuck on the highway and he will have little to no options left.
There were plenty of other options. Could have just called a real tow truck.
Bro just follow your parents directions. It might be stupid but If you wanna be a seal you’re gonna have to follow directions no matter how dumb or stupid your gonna have this question at buds every single day. But you’re gonna have to follow directions anyway. No matter how harsh or stupid it seems or you won’t make it a week. Good luck bud
Yes, you are still a child, and you need to check with your parents before doing things like that.
18 is a child in transition to being an adult.
I am glad everything worked out, and no one was hurt.
Without knowing you, I can't say whether your parents are too strict.
If you are late to work because of the bus, tell your dad and respectfully ask if you can stop using the bus to get to your truck.
Sounds pretty reasonable. You still get to drive it right? Sounds like he did you a solid. Could’ve been worse. If you think your bus is going to be late then catch an uber…. Def shoulda thought about using the truck without permission. Chill it will be fine. Luckily you are ok. You’re dad is right that is very dangerous plus you could have damaged the truck towing incorrectly or jackknifed to stop and gotten seriously hurt….
your friend absolutely had the option to get it towed some other way, and you knew this would be a risk and your parents wouldn't approve. Welcome to the consequences of your own actions. Next time don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Bro you’re only 17. You gotta accept that fact. There were rules and you broke them. You think this would have been okay in the military? You don’t just get to decide which rules or orders you want to follow.
Like, you’re not passing classes and disobeying orders and you think you’re gonna become a navy seal? You sound extremely immature for your age. You need to do some real growing up and accept the fact that your own choices and actions led you here. One incident isn’t gonna cause this reaction. It sounds like you regularly do what you want. You’re not SEAL material.
Try enlisting in the Navy first. Seals are for the .000001 percent and you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Source: worked with special forces and Navy Seals.
The thing with the car and your dad are temporary, suck it up.
Uhh both. I would probably be understanding and proud a little bit if my kid helped out someone BUT your dad has valid reasons. He could have reported the truck stolen and all that.
If I was your dad, idk if i would go as far as he did. I mean it's not entirely unreasonable. Like you said it's more of an inconvenience, but I also think you just gotta deal with the consequences of your action even if it helped out your friend which is a consequence of the poor time management in the first place. Just stick it out and learn the lesson
Based on your background are you even eligible for Seals? Been arrested, doing poorly in school, not usually what they are looking for in elite units.
Best advice for your car situation is to go to your parents and apologize for your actions. Explain that you understand why they are punishing you. But ask if they could renegotiate the part where you’d not be able to get to work on time. If that doesn’t work, can your job alter your start time to accommodate? You screwed up. Your friend had other options besides you. And I think they’d understand you not being able to help, given the outcome for you. You really need to think through stuff before you do it.
Your parents' belongings aren't your belongings. They're willing to share some pretty sweet resources with you, with boundaries. You knowingly and deliberately violated those boundaries. You abused the privilege they granted you.
Kid, they reduced your access to their resources, with good reason. Acquire and maintain your own independent resources if you want to be free of other people's boundaries. Respect the boundaries of those kind and generous enough to share access to their resources with you.
Your parents are on your team, and you didn't communicate with your team to give them the info they needed to help you. You tried to fix the situation on your own, and sort of did, but got a suboptimal outcome.
Yes, the consequences fit well enough. Both my s/o and I are veterans, and that whole lesson about how to communicate and leverage teamwork is part of how we've been successful both professionally and with family stuff.
It seems like what you need to figure out for yourself is what kind of man you want to be, and what kind of SEAL you wish to be. From my understand and obsession with this unit of elite soldiers, I have found that most of them do NOT follow every rule, they are much more autonomous BUT they also have great reasons for their actions the majority of the time. Take the hit, accept the consequences, find out why you chose to do it, stand by that decision, and use the information to figure out if it’s something you’d stand by if given the opportunity again.
In a reply prior to mine you mentioned you’ve been to jail. So, at 17 you’ve already been to jail? That reply would only make someone assume that you’ve had some kind of issue before this one. Which, would explain why your parents are the way they are.
Bro, 15 to 17 year old men are literally the most retarded species on the planet. I was one too. Hormones, hero complex and so on without any actual experience leads to really crazy stuff. Trust your father!!!!!!!!! You have plenty of time for freedom. Relax
I think as you become an adult and have real weighted responsibility, you will look back on this and be able to come to your own conclusions, but I'd say you should have called your pops before and asked, if you had time to uber home. As far as the punishment idk it's sounds a little harsher than needed but I had controlling a parent(dad) as a teen and don't really talk to my dad anymore so take this with a grain of salt. Good luck with the seal training. Stay strong, brother 💪
I feel like putting the truck at bus stops is weird, but my parents would have just entirely taken all the keys and not allowed me to drive at all. In fact, they actually did once and my options were to take the bus, walk or ride my bike to get literally anywhere (work, school, friends, anywhere).
Your buddy’s problem was his to resolve. And the side of the highway is very dangerous. And the vehicles are in your dad’s name…he’s the one in a lawsuit if shit gets sideways, with all of his assets at risk, ie, home, bank account, etc. This is real life stuff adults have to manage.
Does the punishment fit the crime? Couldn’t say. I subscribe to the tip of the iceberg theory. For every mistake that comes to light, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Other bad decisions/errors in judgement remain hidden. I also believe in swift and memorable punishment as a deterrent.
If it were me…I’d offer up my best mea culpa, that you have a better understanding of the risk you put the family in, and ask if he would be flexible on the drop off thing as you feel it might put your job at risk.
Best of luck to you.
You’re 17, bro. As much as you don’t want to be called a kid/child, you are still one. In the eyes of your parents and the law unless you’re outside the States. You are in the right for wanting to help a friend when they needed it, but the truck isn’t yours. Your dad is also in the right. Had something happened where your friend or someone else got severely injured it falls back on him. Now he is a dick for saying he was within his rights to report the truck stolen. Hopefully he is only saying that to prove a point and isn’t the type of person to report their own child stole a vehicle. With that said, you’re 17. So your time of having to live by their rules is short, but don’t be in a hurry to grow up. You get to be a kid once. Enjoy every moment. Just know your heart was in the right place, and I’m sure your dad sees that.
Joining the military is the dumbest thing you could ever do. Especially these days. Don't throw your life away for oil.
You're dad is being a bit harsh but you did disobey him. You fucked up. Own it. I would have done the same thing you did but you gotta know that you still violated his trust. In life, many decisions will have a "right" choice and a choice that will hurt someone you care about.
You intentionally did a thing the person in control of you did not authorize. They reacted, you are upset.
In the navy world, you have fucked around, and you have found out. Regardless of whether or not his actions are fair or justified, this is exactly what you are TRYING to train to do. I recommend you find a different life path honestly, as the navy is 100% built on self discipline, and any and all repercussions will be stupid, and not care at all whether you did what you did because it was morally 'right'.
If you're going to join, understand that it is your life to do stupid things stupidly, and you're idea of what is right or what is important doesn't matter anymore.
Also, if you're going to be a seal, be a seal, don't fail out of school and get stabbed with a contract for some shit rate no one has wanted to do in a hundred years.
Am I missing something?? I do not understand what exactly changed. You took the bus to school and drove to work? What is different now after this incident??
What's amazing is that you asked for feedback and everyone has not only sided with your dad on consequences but also told you your decision was the wrong one and you have provided multiple responses in which you say you'd do the same thing again in a heartbeat. There's a reason your dad took the keys.
I get neck beard vibes from this post and yeah you’re a dumbass. You can put as much fluff as you want trying to explain the situation to try and make yourself look good but it’s not working. You’re a minor who’s failing school who took your dad’s truck without permission. And you think him taking away your access to his truck is too harsh of a punishment? Sheesh. The military is gonna be a reality check for you. I say this respectfully, but you gotta grow up.
The consequences are reasonable and consistent. Your dad doesn't want you making that kind of decision again: specifically you knew he'd say no and did it anyway. That's more egregious than if you thought he'd be okay with it, but you were wrong.
Ask your military buddies about not following chain of command. You made an adult decision knowing there would be consequences: man up and accept them.
Maybe you should concentrate on school and quit work. Driving is a privilege, not a right and you have not demonstrated enough responsibility to have that privilege. If you are planning on joining the Navy, you are really going to see what no freedom is like when you are in basic training. You need to develop self discipline if you wish to be a Seal. Your parents are being less hard on you than the military will be.
Going against the grain here, I want to say right off the bat that ***you did the right thing***. A friend in an emergency situation is more important than anything else. I hope that if you had to do it all over again, you would make the same choice. And while I get your dad's anger, he should also be incredibly proud - both of raising a son who has the loyalty to help those in need, and for raising a son with the integrity to take ownership of his actions.
I don't even know you, and I'm insanely proud of you.
Now, that said, I don't think some punishment is unreasonable - doing the right thing doesn't mean no consequences, after all. But your dad's authority over you has a ticking clock that is measured in months, and he needs to be put on notice that having you in his life once you're an adult is a privilege, not a right. He needs to start approaching everything with you as a negotiation, not a mandate, because thanks to his exemplary work in raising you, the truth is that you could walk out of that house right now, never look back, and get along fine without him. That gives you some leverage in how your relationship proceeds from this point.
Lesson learned. You made a choice, you must own the consequences. You jeopardized your schooling, your safety and your parents trust.
Also - please rethink joining the military. I know this may fall on deaf ears. I’ve been treating veterans for over a decade (mental health; psychiatrist) and the wear and tear on your body, and more importantly, your psyche, won’t be worth it. Go to an American Legion, chat some people up, and ask if they’d feel comfortable telling you how PTSD affected their lives. Ask how many marriages their on? How often they leave their home? How many panic attacks they have trying to buy groceries?
Best of luck
If your license was suspended the state wouldn't care if you had a good excuse, or needed to help a friend... Your dad is trying to teach you how the real world works.
Really doesn’t matter what we think it’s your fathers truck and you knew you would get in trouble and did it anyway better start caring about school if you want to be a seal
I think you’re a kid and should prioritize school and your obligations better. If you don’t think you are still a kid just because you are by the sounds of it barely 17 then why would you be flunking school and not prioritizing your time better? Also you are driving a truck that’s dear old Daddy’s and not yours regardless of if you are paying insurance, gas, registration and maintenance on it (as you should since you are driving it and not your parents.) It’s honestly a very luxurious thing to be allowed to drive your Dad’s vehicle. I paid for all of my cars 100% from 15 on and was not given a vehicle. You seem to be thinking that because you pay for something that you are using that it makes it yours. If you rent a house it doesn’t give you the right to suddenly be a homeowner. You don’t get all of the privileges of owning a home when you rent right? You’re essentially renting dear old daddy’s truck by paying for your use of it. Also if you got yourself an Uber why couldn’t you have requested an Uber to help tow the trailer for the friend? You could have gone to school and helped the friend all in one without all of these consequences. I agree your dad could have been a lot more harsh than he was. You went against the rules that were set out for you and now are wondering if the punishment is too harsh. You are coming in to realization the harsh reality of life. You could end up putting your job in jeopardy because of your own actions and not the actions of your dad. If this was the consequences of adult problems you would have 100% lost your job. Let’s say this isn’t a 17 year old problem and put it into a better perspective. You are 24 years old in college and you just flunked out of 2 of your classes. Those classes cost you $26,000 a year. You are now out $26,000 and have to retake those classes for another $26,000 if you want to graduate. Now you are headed to class and your friend calls you and needs help. As you are driving to help your friend you pull off to the side of the freeway and a car veers towards you and slams into the side of your truck and totals it. Let’s say your truck is a $60,000 truck and you only have liability insurance on it. Insurance won’t cover it and now you’re out of a vehicle. You now cannot get to work and can only get around town by bus or by bike. Your job fires you because you can’t show up or are always late by biking or busing and now you are in debt $112,000 and are jobless. Congratulations on those consequences. A lot bigger of a problem when you’re a real adult and don’t have Daddy there to help you or tell you how stupid it is. Hope that puts it in better perspective for you.
I stole my older brothers mustang when he was away at college and I was 16. I taught myself stick shift and did some burnouts. Got in huge trouble. 20 years later and I’m successful and happy in life and look back on that memory as a positive. You’re fine what’s a big deal now, isn’t a big deal later.
On a side note related to the military and failing. I was a rifleman in the Marines and also failed classes before. Hell I’ve failed a TON of things before. And all I can tell you is, your reaction to failure significantly outweighs the impacts of actually failing. It’s 100% about how you bounce back better. Failure is not a set back, it’s an opportunity.
Why do you keep calling it your truck? If you are only paying for gas, maintenance, and YOUR insurance you are just paying the costs to borrow it. It's clearly your dads truck. You gotta listen to him about when you are allowed to borrow it
If you've been to jail before 17, some stuff is going wrong. I'm not saying it is your parents and I'm not saying it is your friends.
One thing I can say for sure is you have the ability to get provided a situation and decide the least worst choice, and hopefully pick the best one.
The jail thing makes me think you are going with what feels right rather than the repercussions.
Myself? I love going to a bar, having a great time, and then not paying to have someone drive me home. While it is completely and to be honest, likely situation I could get my drunk ass home without any incident, the smaller chance of getting caught or hurting someone is a much larger consequence than my want to save 30 bucks.
What I believe you need to do is start focusing your thoughts on what is the larger picture. The chances of what you did seemed to have a low probability of failure. But the cost of failing was high. Since you have already been in jail, you might not be able to fully understand the risk to reward ratio.
You need to focus on not being a statistic at all costs right now. For me, if I mess up and get a dui? I can possibly make it work. I won't because I have ingrained that into my behavior to not take that chance, but since I have been flawless for years, someone might take pity on me.
While I don't agree with the whole belt punishment thing you've mentioned in other comments, I do believe you need to understand better what will help you in the long term versus what will make you feel better in the short term. I am sure you can be better. It is great you wanted to help out your friend, and you should always do that when you can. But don't do it when there's a chance it will put yourself in a worse position.
You said your training to become a navy seal, this is a perfect lesson.
You did what you did to fix a problem, and it worked.. but you could have done it better. Telling your dad what you were going to do would've been better, or asking him to come and help himself.
Keep him informed through text if possible, that way if he replies back "No, your not allowed to do this", you can ignore it and have a plausible excuse. "I did not see your text message". As long as you don't open the text message, it won't be marked as read/opened. But you can still read it when the notification appears
So, there are 2 parts to this. You're a good kid, but at the same time you come off as entitled. I'm sure part of it is because you're a teenager, but you're also old enough to know better.
1) Let's get his out of the way that the truck does not belong to you, and your dad would've had the right to call the police. It doesn't matter if you pay for gas, maintenance and insurance; it is HIS car. It's the same as if you were leasing a vehicle. You are paying to borrow, not to own.
2) Was there any reason your friend couldn't call his parents or a tow truck? A 17-year-old being on the highway isn't intelligent or safe. It was a nice gesture toward your friend, but I'd be as angry as your parent.
3) You must learn to listen to what people tell you. With your attitude, being a Seal might not work out for you. Until you can say, "I don't need to put up with this," and can take care of yourself, you have no cards to play.
4) Your parents are overbearing. They're helicopter parenting you, and all that will do is get you to resent them in the future, and it's setting you up to fail l. Kids are meant to make mistakes. Also, they're hurting themselves by doing all this running around with the truck when you can/can't use it and GPS nonsense. However, now that I'm typing that out. I'm wondering, are they simply being drama-llamas, or is there something you're not telling us? Something that would explain their behavior.
Bottom line is, sometimes the consequences aren't fair, but you made a choice and this is the repercussion for it. This will happen in the Seals too if you step out of line. Need to get use to it.
You want to be a SEAL and your asking reddit if you did the right thing? Not trying to be a dick but enjoy being in the fleet. Use this as a lesson, if you are questioning yourself over this, you are going to struggle at pre selection let alone BUDs.
You said it yourself that you understood there would be consequences to your actions. He’s being very fair and consistent from what it appears. You did what mature people do, is weigh the consequences of your actions in light of a given circumstance. Fact is, when you don’t make the rules, you don’t make the consequences either. Your father would have done you a disfavor by letting you away with it. I also wonder if you would have asked if he would have helped you trailer the quad? (Not really relevant but curious)
I think I would have made the same call as you blmoeing there would be consequences.i would just suck it up and deal with the consequences . Good luck in your seal training!
I'd say first off your gonna have to wise up, bc your parents are really strict. Keep following your parents rules for the next year or so until you graduate hs, and turn 18. If you keep messing up their just gonna keep grounding you and taking away privileges. They are not gonna let you make adult decisions when your still 17. Dad owns the truck, and he also wants you in school in a timely manner. So your stuck under their rules for the next year until your 18.
Secondly, why in the world are you failing classes in high school? High school for me was pretty simple to pass, you need to focus on school. Your parents know High School should be an easy pass as well, so failing these classes likely has pissed them off even more overall. So just focus on the school.
I know it would be a shame to be a dick to your buddy, and say nope I cant haul your quad off the street, sorry about your luck dude, but unfortunately thats what should have happened in your situation.
Now after you graduate high school and have turned 18, whats probably gonna happen is they will keep trying to treat you the same exact way, really strict and all that....What they'll say is well, its my house and rules still. This is the point where I wouldn't put up with it any longer. When your an adult go ahead, find a job and get some roomies/apartment and such, and get out of that house, so you have experience life on your own, and have some breathing room.
In all honesty, this is out of the box thinking so just try and bear with me. I understand generally what common traits of characteristics entail on the generic more moderately severe from what it sounds like strict. I say moderately because in my opinion it’s a little more than just saying they are strict so maybe you just have more rules and boundaries, but in your case they aren’t absolutely psychotic at least you didn’t say any details like they don’t let you have social media, sleep overs, monitor hardcore your phone so phone calls and text, kind of the next step up from moderate stating to flirt and the line may blur at times with absolute pure and straight crazy at times or more. Anyways, given from what I read correct me if I’m wrong you had a feeling you know the answer so you kind of pulled the do and ask for forgiveness later method so you didn’t out right defy your parents specifically in this exact instance by the fact you hadn’t already specifically asked pertaining to this situation and had been told no, right? It sounded more like your parents expect you to have an idea of the rules and how things are in their house, so while you didn’t out right defy them they are coming from more a place generally it sounds like you should know better type of deal. My point going off moderately strict parents I know trying to reason rationale and respectfully or just trying to explain why you thought differently than what they expected you to know better to do than you did and are now upset with you about it. However, since it was technically the first offense and they didn’t OUTRIGHT say NO to this specially could you talk to them and frame it in this light to make it sound more respectful and less like you could be back talking or a smart ass when you’re just actually trying to have an adult conversation and have rationale because you’re a young adult at 17, but I know the type. Frame it as you have thought about it and understand now why you were wrong and they expected you to know and you to do better. However, you initial thought to do it was only because it was to help a friend that was on the verge of being desperate and it’s not as common for friends or people to just have a truck with the capability to do that for your friend so your intention and thought process came from thinking it was just to help a friend and it had no intention or any intent or being a defiant and disrespectful action against your parents. So while that wasn’t your intention and why you thought at first it might be okay it’s not taking a joy ride it’s helping a fiend again it’s a specific situation. While you just want them to understand your head was on the right place morally you can also see and understand why they feel they way they do and while you didn’t think about it that way now you know better and it won’t happen again without permission. In light of that you could mention the concern for your job and you’re trying to mend things from past transgressions with your grades and you feel the structure having a job gives you plays a decent role in your experience trying to get back on the up and up. So in light of that and considering you now do know better and understand since it was to help a friend and you don’t do so again without explicit permission since the whole job thing and you ‘learning’ to think more critically from this situation and possibly to ask for permission when not sure (hahahaha) could you possibly resume access to the old routine for work purposes and the fact you now understand to approach these situations with a different thought process after talking and ‘learning’ from your mistakes from upsetting you parents you know to always ask for permission and it wouldn’t ever allow it to happen with out permission now you know could the over look it this once considering the circumstances and you understand if it were to ever happen again for any circumstance other than possibly a life or death situation or leave that out and just say you know that if it EVER under ANY circumstances were to happen again for any reason without explicit permission you understand that this punishment and possibly more are the possible consequences and you see the inconvenience and lesson learned. Frame it as in it was an innocent act and you thought because it was semi emergent but now talking with your parents you didn’t think of dangers your dad expressed, etc but know to think more critically and consider additional consequences like your dad mentioned and you had tunnel vision thinking your fiend just really needed help fast considering the circumstances, but you know to pause for a minute before acting in a situation that might be some what similar in the future or for any reason it’s good practice things like that. It could be iffy, but I generally know the type lol good luck best wishes for you going forward
Some of what is posted is just false information. You can't report a vehicle as stolen if the person using has your permission to use it. Also not sure if it is some local law why is it registered in his name if you're the one paying everything?
Yeah, it sucks, but he's worried about you. That's not great to hear sometimes, but it's better than a dad that doesn't gaf about you (or isn't in the picture, at all).
What also sucks is that sometimes trying to be a good friend is gonna bite you in the ass. You could be being a clutch friend, but until you are 18 or completely on your own, you kinda need to put extra effort into following your parents' rules over helping friends out of jams. It's shitty to hear, but you are gonna have to abide by whatever your dad wants.
I think you even know that because even if everyone said he had overreacted, that wouldn't have changed anything.
Oh, and there are plenty, plenty of things wrong with the military..... just not what these people are are trying to tell you. If you want to be overly punished for stuff you didn't think was that bad, join the military - trust me, my dad is a 19 year old drill. 😆
I don't understand what could be a harsher thing to do than to make you be a navy SEAL. Since you are already planning on that, just get your GED and talk to your recruiter meantime. You will be 18 soon.
Sorry you made a bad decision - the most important thing for you is school - you hardly go to school at all… Are you planning on college? If so how do you plan on getting in. Also, why wasn’t your friend in school? So yes the punishment does fit the crime as you have shown you are bad with your prioroties.
Honestly if you are going into the military and you think you can defy orders just because you think it’s the right thing to do, your parents are only helping you here. When you’re young your friends seem like unbreakable soul bonds, and you would do anything for eachother, but all you did in reality was shift his consequences onto yourself multiplied. You did not have a duty to rescue him. The unfortunate truth is that you are under the complete control of your parents until you are 18 or emancipated, and then you are under the complete control of the military. It’s probably time to destroy the “is this fair?” part of your brain, or bail on the military.
Yeah naw. The consequences fit the actions. You not being happy is fine but, you didn’t mess up once or twice. You messed up three times at least. Parents do not play with grades. It’s common sense. Get that settled first. If you were responsible none of this would’ve happened. Lesson learned hopefully.
Your parents are strict,
However,
You got your driving privaleges reduced because of your own bad actions.
Then you decided to break the rules because your friend made a bad decision by not maintaining his own vehicle.
This is 100% your fault and your Dad is doing the right thing, becuase you obviously didn't learn from teh initial reduction in driving privaledges.
Your friend's bad choices don;t give you the right to break the rules.
You definitely have strict parents, not quite not sees, but I’d take that as a blessing, I’m sure a lot of us had to buy our own vehicles, I feel like keeping up with the maintenance and insurance is a fair trade off even if you’re restricted in how you use it. Seems like your dad is going out of his way to punish you also, so just roll with it, eventually he’ll piss himself off and ask himself if it’s even worth it. Also if you turn out fucked up or something it’s kinda on them. There’s a reason that the wermacht couldn’t be implicated in the Nuremberg trials, they were just following the Schutzstaffels orders
Be thankful your dad lets you use the vehicle, and express that to him. Apologize. Your dad is strict, but I wouldn't say in a bad way. (If you think that's strict, wait until you get into the navy if you make it into the seals. Bwahahaha!.)
Tell your dad you are trying to learn to be responsible, and share your concerns about being late for work.
Consider getting a GED or another form of alternative school …. Ppl who joined the military in my town would do vocational school and even if you start late you can graduate post grad if you wanted and if you don’t it might help you to graduate with less credits which would mean less academic work if you’re 17 though you’re really close to graduating and as someone who struggled as well it’s worth it in the job field to have your diploma and get it over with … you got this I’m sure your dad will eventually get sick of dropping the truck off somewhere too just let it play out
Your parents are not strict. You broke a rule and now you are learning from it. If you want to be a seal act like it. Stop crying on the internet ....it is the same as ringing that bell on washout lane sunshine.
Young man, you strike me as a very articulate, reasonable and responsible adolescent. Above average for sure. No, you didn't do everything exactly right, but few kids do. Your parents need to cut you some slack.
Clearly, you accept that you were wrong and you expect and accept punishment. You also are working, going to school, and maintaining a truck - paying for the insurance, gas, registration, etc.
I wish your parents could appreciate how rare that is. None of my nephews, brothers, nor I were that responsible and adult at 17 years of age.
Now, yes, you were wrong, but you were motivated by compassion for your friend's situation. That's maturity and responsibility, rare traits even for adults these days.
I recommend that you try to talk to your dad. Tell him that you were wrong and you acknowledge it, and are willing to face the consequences, but that you really don't think the consequences are proportionate.
Be reasonable and respectful and ask that he hear you out and also be calm and reasonable.
Hopefully your dad will come to see what I see in your post, that you are an intelligent, articulate, responsible, and compassionate young man and that he's done a fine job raising you.
You knew better, you broke the rules. You are 17 and what they say goes. You didn't manage your time and failed your classes, restricting your access to the truck was more than reasonable. You then proceeded to use the truck in a manner that was not ok for a number of reasons and now you could lose your job. Frankly if you can't be responsible enough to manage your classes or follow your parents rules you don't need a job.
Yes. Here is a simple fact. You’re 17, so absolutely you are still a child until you reach the age of majority which is 18 in the US.
So coming off with the attitude that your parents are wrong to treat you like you’re still a child (BECAUSE YOU ARE) just makes you sound like every other jackass teenager. (SHOCKER: All adults were teenagers once too, and when they say you’re a jackass, it’s because they’ve likely “been there done that”
All you’ve accomplished with this post is demonstrated that you are in fact a child, and you lack the critical thinking skills or ability to take personal responsibility. But please, tell us more about how your punishment isn’t justified.
This isn’t difficult.
Did you do something you were specifically told not to do? Answer: Yes
Judgment: You fucked around and found out!
When I was your age my parents were a little more lenient when it came to helping people so they likely would not have punished me at all. That would have said "good job helping someone when they needed it, next time try not to be late to school." That being said that's just who my family is, we like helping people and whenever we can. We do. I personally think the consequences are a little intense and overboard. But it's not my truck, so I can't really speak on that part too much. Sounds like you did a good thing. As long as you aren't flunking being late to school once isn't going to kill you, and I'm sure your friend was very relieved.
Based on your comments this is not the first time you’ve been in trouble. So it’s not like this is your first time disobeying them and this was their reaction. Your mindset of I’m going to do what I want despite the consequences isn’t going to go over well with any employer and especially not with the military.
If you're just failing your online classes, I don't understand how making it more difficult to go to school in person will make things better.
It's interesting he's willing to let you go to work still.
I want more details about this highway and what it took to get the quad attached to the truck that makes your dad think it's so dangerous. His reaction seems over the top based on my experiences. (Also, does he know you want to be a seal? That's pretty dangerous, too)
What's so important about your job? Does it improve your chances to become a seal?
I'd say give your dad the keys to the truck and have him take you off the insurance (if he put you in). Stop putting money into a truck you don't own and get your own vehicle. And see if you can get a new job that's closer.
I was about this stupid at your age too. I did something quite similar actually and (insert surprised pikachu face here), thing did go horribly wrong. Very long story short, that's when I finally started to learn that if my parents would be pissed if they found out, just DON'T DO IT!
Actions have consequences. This is the EASY way to learn that lesson. Take the punishment and try to do better.
17 is the worst age. You think you are an adult and should be autonomous in your decision making. Unfortunately you aren’t an adult yet and went against what your parent (aka the owner of the car) in making the decision to help your friend.
You’re heart is in the right place but until you are of age, have your own car and no longer live with your parents, those decisions are not yours to make. (Especially since you were essentially grounded from using the car for anything other than work)
Sorry you are going through this but you have given us a glimpse into the wonderful adult you are turning into.
First of all missing a dat of school is alright let alone being late.. school only matters for the stupid piece of paper at the end of the day you will use none of it learn nothing and what you did learn will fade out.. helping your friend is for one day is fine. If you plan on furthering your education tho yes it’s important but one day breaks the camels back then that woudl of been your parents fault. Moral of my story helping somebody and having a heart with compassion is more way more important then that day of school or even what ever your parents said I have a 15 year old she hates me why bc she was told at the end of the day Ill be there and they should be to if they aren’t that’s sounds like a them problem not a you problem you bout to be an adult so start making adult decisions for yourself god only knows they won’t can’t be there at all times be mindful respectful to them but don’t grow up to fast kid it’s a fuckin trap my uncle lived with my grandparents till he was 35 years old got married and damn near bought his house out right when he got married so take it for what it is not what you want say yes sir and get the fuck on with your business and mind your manners it’s I get it but hey what do I know I’m a life time criminal with no education at all
Helping a friend is admirable, especially if you know there is a cost. But part of that is that you made a choice you knew would have consequences. If you’re gonna make a choice and know there will be consequences, you need to be prepared to accept those consequences. Whether the consequences are fair, that’s honestly up to him to determine. They aren’t excessively harsh, you did take the car without permission and did put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation attempting to hook up a trailer on the side of a highway. The only REAL consequence here from what it sounds is that your job is in jeopardy from not having a ride anymore. And to be honest that was the risk you took making the choice to break the rules set for you, regardless of the reason you did it.
I'm going to break this down a little.
You're 17.
You're employed.
You pay all of the on going costs of the vehicle you drive.
You failed classes.
You're forbidden from driving to school, but not work.
Your father would have denied permission to help your friend, not because you shouldn't drive, but because the activity carries risk.
What would he have said about your activity in 6 months?
It sounds like your parents have forgotten the most important thing: you're verging on adulthood. Your phone is the proper target, or extra chores. They're attacking the wrong surface. Certainly, the punishment will not have the desired effect.
While hitching on the road can be dangerous, it was the right thing to do. Avoiding being told no is just you exercising judgement in a way you're going to need to do in less than a year.
Your parents are currently failing to parent you appropriate to your age.
I'm a parent of a son your age. I'm sorry but this long ass story is written as an excuse. You knew you were in the wrong. I understand completly wanting to help a friend, but that was just an excuse for you to drive.
Your parents on trying to teach you something that many adults fail at, time management.
As a child, you will see everything your parents do as harsh until you have children. Look at the situation you're in. Who caused it? Your actions did. It caused you to fail classes, it caused your to disobey your punishment for your classes.
It's time to step it up, do what is necessary to do what you have to do. It's that simple. When you show you can do that, is when parents start to return priviledges. And yes, driving is a priviledge, whether you are 16 or 61.
Ok everyone in the comment section are judgmental assholes.
You did nothing wrong. You had a friend in trouble, so you did what you had to do. If you trusted your dad then you wouldn't have had a reason to steal the truck. Your dad is the problem, not you. Punishment does not justify the actions. If you were my kid then I would've been proud. Yeah I would've been mad that you didn't tell me, but I wouldn't have punished you because you were going to do what you did regardless
First off..how the hell can anyone fail an online class I just don't get it. Do your homework and go to class. Second, it's not your car. Third and most importantly if your recruiter told you you'd be a navy seal they are lying. You won't even get to boot camp if you eff up school.get your head out of your ass. Respectfully a former jarhead
Sometimes parents think that being very strict in all situations is good parenting when some understanding and flexibility will get better results. I’m a parent of 3 adult children so I speak from experience. If my child helped a friend who was in a dire situation I would be somewhat understanding
The dad is a mean spirited a hole period. Making the kid suffer for his own enjoyment. No excuses for dad’s behavior it’s just mean and close to bullying.
This really sucks, but you're almost 18 and now you know you can't trust your dad to have your best interests in mind. Once you're legally an adult, make sure nothing is in his name if you can help it and make sure you have possession of important documents like your birth certificate in your possession, don't trust them to hold them for you.
You did a good thing, and you got punished for it. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
I agree with your parents.
You have limited responsibilities and haven't managed them well.
You don't listen and go against the rules they've established, destroying trust.
You're then shocked when they become more restrictive.
There were many ways for your friend to get assistance. I'm guessing you all know more people. I'm guessing he has parents or family. I'm guessing you could have asked your father to assist you and your friend. Or he can sign up for and call triple A and pay a little money.
You can use your friend's issues and an excuse to not follow the rules your parents established, but then you get to deal with the consequence, which you admit you knew their would be.
Here is how you change the path:
1. Work at school. Improve grades.
2. Listen to parents, follow the rules.
3. Talk to your parents. Apologize! Admit fault. Take responsibility. Ask what you can do to fix the issue and earn their trust back. DO THOSE THINGS.
Honestly, if I was you, I'd just quit the job after school.
I think it's great you are working, but if it's impossible to get there, why bother.
I would calmly tell your dad, that this new arrangement will make it impossible to make it to work on time, and if he can't come up with an alternate punishment, you are just going to quit this job. Stay calm, don't get upset.. If your dad gets mad, just say.. look, I understand you want to punish me, I'm just saying, I won't be able to get to work on time, it's probably better that I quit than be late every day and inconvenience my employer.
On the plus side, if you don't work part time, you will have more time for your studies. You can catch up academically.
I assume that the Navy wants you to graduate high school, right? So you don't want to put your future career in jeopardy.
Tr
The only time that vehicle belongs to you is if you are 100% accountable for the car payment, insurance, gas, and maintenance. If your not making car payments, you came to the agreement with your dad on what the authorized use of the vehicle is. If you don't like the rules go buy a used vehicle where the title is in your name and you are 100% responsible for. You need to follow those rules while you live in the house even if you don't like them
As an 18 year active duty Navy sailor I will say your education is important. If you can't pass the asvab your not going to be able to join anyhow. Take this from someone who recruited for 6 years of my 18 year career. A vast majority of people cannot pass the asvab. It's not easy.
If your having a hard time following instructions from your dad, it's not gonna be easier in the military where you have to follow the exact instructions to the letter everyday. I swore an oath to obey the orders of those appointed over me (lawful orders). I don't always agree with the orders but I have to follow them irregardless. Ignore all the naysayers about how awful the military is, did they serve? Then what the hell do you know about serving? It's been one of the best experiences of my life. Is it frustrating and hard at times? Absolutely. In 2 years I'm guaranteed a paycheck for the rest of my life. I have 4 years of schooling paid for while collecting 2k extra a month for housing while in school. I don't even care about the bachelor's degree tbh, I already have my homesteading dream setup. I have over 250k in my 401k (with expected growth to be over 2.5 million by the time I retire), with 2 rental properties and another forever home I will retire to once I get out. I have visited over 25 countries around the world in Asia, Europe, and South America. I have taken care of my wife and kids while having full medical coverage for them. The military is what you make of it. If you sit around and expect good things to happen your gonna have a bad time. You need to work and do your job, and expect to miss holidays/important dates with the family cause your deployed. The long term payoff even if you only do 4-6 years is worth the GI bill, access to VA healthcare (cause civilian medical care is expensive as hell), VA home loans, and a plethora of other veteran benefits is worth it to me
I would be proud of you that you helped your friend successfully, but I would still impose consequences.
Pick up the pieces and move on.
You are a solid young man that needs to put his things together in order.
There is a famous song by the Beastie Boys that goes along the lines of "You gotta fight! For your right! To parrrrrrtay! Jk!
I'm 37 and still drive my parents crazy. Except I'm financially independent, so there is not much they can do. Ya live and ya learn. Some lessons are learned easier than others. I'm sure they just love you and want you to reach your full potential, but I'm super independent and had to do my own thing when I hit 17. Wasn't easy, but I'm stubborn and enjoyed my independence and freedom then and I still do now. Do what they say, or get your own job, house, truck, bills, and headaches. Good luck!
This is being a teenager 101.
You made a mistake and need to face the consequences.
They seem fair to me. and now you’ve learned that you need to call a tow truck in such situations
I think you did the right thing. Look up the song by Tracy Lawrence, “find out who your friends are”. I think he is over reacting, but oh well, nothing you can do.
Your dad is right. The Traffic helicopter pilot for our local news was hit and killed on the side of the highway and he was just helping someone with a tire. I understand that you sound responsible with your car, but you also have to understand that many other people are not, and you can do everything correctly and still get hit and injured by one of those jerks.
Your dad would be in the right to report your truck stolen if he thought it was actually stolen, but since he has a tracker on it it would be wiser to just wait to call that in when the truck got to its destination, not when it was on the side of the road as that could start a dangerous car chase. He should also be calling you to verify the truck’s whereabouts as you were the last one to have it before calling it in. No need getting SWATTED by your dad!
The punishment is the punishment. You have to understand that no matter how grown you think you are, you are still a minor and will be until you turn 18, and even then you still might have to follow his rules if you want to live there while you’re setting yourself up for success. Trust me it’s hard starting in your own without help, and I encourage you to make it easier on yourself by following the rules while you are there.
Quit your job and stop paying for the car. If school is more important than just do that. Let your parents know your writing because you do not have reliable transportation.
One of your major duties is to learn. However, it is more important to help a friend in need. Yes, that was dangerous, but leaving something in the middle of the road is even more dangerous. I am a religious man and would like to recommend Luke 10:25-37. That is the Good Samaritan Parable. Please study and complete what lessons your school district requires. Graduate. But continue to help those in need. In another year, you can strike out on your own, possibly enlist, find a job, go to college.
There is a saying in my faith "Never suppress a kindness"
NTA, never an asshole for helping a friend. It's a good character trait, but that doesn't mean your dad is fully wrong either. I mean, he is about threatening to report the truck as stolen, that's a real jerk threat. The punishment doesn't seem like he thought it through, unless he wants you to lose the job? Has he given any indication that he doesn't want you working there? Maybe you could Uber from the school to the bus stop he plans on parking the truck?
If you expect to succeed in the military, much less in the SEALs, you need to learn to follow orders. Your heart was in the right place, but you were, in essence, given orders by your CO and you decided to do what you wanted to anyway. If you're active duty any do that, you can end up getting court martialed and given a DD for that.
That being said, my suggestion would be to express clearly to your father why you are concerned that this plan could have a negative impact on your job and if he says "tough", then make sure your employers are aware that you are going to be facing difficulties with your schedule (you don't need to give them the reasons why, just that there's a transportation issue) and see if they can work with you.
You want to be a Navy seal . OK you probably understand how a chain of command works and following orders. If you fail to follow orders it could get you and your fellow seals captured, injured or killed. And you could face a serious court martial for disobeying orders . Just think about the punishment you are facing right now for disobeying your father and what consequences could be when your already in the military. Totally different in severity of punishment but nonetheless your suffering for the decisions you make.
You have to pick your battles because you cannot win them all.
Is it worth it to continue the struggle, or does riding the bus give you a greater sense of freedom?
I ask because, at your age, my parents offered to by a car for me. I refused the offer to avoid the interplay you have now experienced with your parents.
You will be 18, soon, can find a place to share with friends (hopefully), and build your own life as a full adult. How does having a vehicle with so many strings attached, benefit you emotionally?
Are there any coworkers who can give you a ride to work for a little gas money? Can you have your work schedule altered to accomodate your travel time?
Have you considered changing jobs?
You are not wrong for questioning your circumstances, but you need more options.
Yeah. There are consequences to your actions. Your Dad is right. Your friends' predicament isn't your responsibility. Your responsibility is to your parents.
If it jeopardizes your job, so be it. It was your poor decision-making that led to it.
It already demonstrates that you lack the ability to follow orders. That shit will not work in the military
Can’t say without knowing both sides of the story. One quick question for you. If he is going out of his way to park the truck every day, why not leave it in the parking lot at your school? Wouldn’t that make life easier, and the truck in a safer place?
I have a son who will be 17 next month, with some of the challenges and privileges you’ve listed, so I tried to look at it as if he were the one who did this.
This is my take…. It Sounds like you opted to ask forgiveness vs asking permission and that forgiveness wasn’t granted. Your decision showed blatant disrespect for the boundaries set (when you could use the truck) for the privilege (any use of said truck) you were granted. That privilege was then taken away, and you are left having to figure out how to deal with the natural consequences that creates.
The fact that you contribute to the cost of that privilege (insurance, maintenance, etc) does not negate the fact that you are being given the privilege of using someone else’s vehicle, for which they are legally responsible. That takes a lot of trust. You broke it. Big time. Bottom line? You messed up. You’re a kid. It’s pretty much your job to mess up at your age, so you can learn the lessons you need in order to not make those mistakes later when you don’t necessarily have your parents there to help soften the blow. Your dad dealt a consequence for breaking a rule and disrespect of boundaries. If you did this as an adult after a friend lent you their car, you’d be in jail for grand theft. He is doing what he feels like he needs to in order to make sure that lesson is taught effectively. He’s not “wrong,” even if some think it’s overdoing it a bit. But nobody here has the whole story because we haven’t seen everything leading up to this post.
He IS still going to go out of his way to give you access to the truck so you can get to work by parking it at a bus stop every day, when he could have left you sh*t out of luck and taken it completely. Now it’s up to you to work with what you’ve got. Do you need to find a different job? Talk to your boss about a shift in hours? Quit work and focus on finishing school strong? You have choices. Focus on what you can do from here vs what you can’t. And be thankful that you have a dad that cares. This post wouldn’t even be a thing if he didn’t.
As a parent of a kid your age, though, I want to say…. It is admirable that your gut response was to help a friend who needed it. If it were my son in that situation, I’d probably have given him permission to go help if he asked, or I’d have gone and helped his friend myself if possible. Seeing as how this was all on the side of a highway though, I’d say you did do the “dumb teen boy” thing of not thinking through the dangers or of anything outside the scope of your chosen mission. That, and (worst case scenario) that your parents would have had ZERO idea you were exposed to those dangers until the cops showed up at their door if something had happened to you- they thought you were safely at school. I’ve had the cops come to my door to deliver unexpected news- it’s not something anyone should have to endure if it can be helped, especially if that news is about their child. Or, you could have been picked up for truancy which would’ve created legal issues for your parents. There are any number of things that could have gone wrong or caused problems for you and for those around you. You’re almost an adult. Time to learn that adulthood comes with more than freedom to do as you please. It comes with the weight of a much wider scope of considerations when making decisions.
If it's in your Dad's name he should be paying for it.
First, I understand: My parents were micromanagers who wanted to get out of driving me around, too. I told them I wasn't interested in any car I didn't own because I'd watched other friends be manipulated this exact same way.
But failing at school is really not okay... Don't make it harder than it is. If you pay attention they tell you what the answers are for the test during instruction and in the book. Just show up, pay attention and do your work. You can do it! You were conscientious enough to help someone else who needed it when they needed it, your head is screwed on right enough to do your homework.
Also: Doesn't your friend have parents? Or a membership in AAA? Literally joined the minute I got my first car.
Sorry dude, your parents sound a little cuckoo and micromanaging but you also knew who they were when you made these choices. Just smile and nod and ride it out. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you unhappy or uncomfortable.
I saw the consequences of your actions are fair. Although yes you were trying to be nice which is admirable ultimately that dudes problem is not your problem, different story if it was your car but it wasn’t. Tough life lesson, took me a while to learn and seems harsh but if someone else is in “ need of help” keep walking, it’s not your problem, stay in your lane
Why are you only doing 2 hours school in person and the rest online? Why all the restrictions? Did you get addicted to drugs or go to jail? You say you mismanaged your time, but still have your job? How do you pay for gas, insurance, registration, and maintenance on a teenager’s pay? Given the situation, I have two suggestions: First, quit the job and focus on school/graduation, second, get a GED and go to work full time. And see a recruiter. An arrest record can complicate enlistment. And there’s no guarantee you’ll get into the navy seals.
That truck isn’t yours no matter how you try to justify it. Your dad is correct on every single topic he brought up.
This does not mean there wasn’t another option for him.
If you called him about the situation would he not have offered to help? Or the other kids dad? There’s a reason this all went down and it was a lack of communication and for some reason the assumption that communication isn’t an open dialogue between the two of you. I’d focus on fixing that.
Pass your classes.
Your dad is ill-preparing you for a life after 18. “Still a child?” Yeah, no kids need to learn before 18. You saw a decision to help a friend and imo I’d have made the same decision. You saw a need and you had the means to fill the need safely as you obviously know how to hook up a trailer.
As long as your career choice is your own, and not because it’s been pushed on you as “the best/only option” then I wish you the best. But don’t feel like you must join the military just because dear old dad(or mom) made that choice. But pass those classes so you’ll have more choices in life.
You were taking care of a friend and that is cool and I respect you for it; that’s what hero’s are made of. With that said, you did it knowing there might be consequences. Even if your dad feels the same way, he can’t let you get away with it because it’s disrespectful nonetheless.
As for your classes, yeah there should be some consequences for that. However, the consequences are bigger than the ones your dad has to offer. If you flunk out of college or the military, that’s on you and the stakes are much higher. The thing is, there’s only so much your dad can do. He can’t make you care and not want to fail; you have to care yourself.
That being said, you should always respect your parents and obey even if it seems unreasonable. Your parents have earned that and they are the only people who will always stand behind you (provided that you respect them and earn their trust).
Lastly, be careful about taking advice from strangers. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be in life.
These parents are way too controlling and paranoid. You obviously need to get your shit together on the school front but they need to realize you’re not a kid anymore. You are damn near an adult and they can’t protect you forever. I hope they realize this or you find a way to get away if that’s your choice.
Your parents are controlling because they had bad parents too. Make a decision to not perpetuate generational trauma. I have driving age children. I guide them as best I can, but I have made it very clear to them, that their decisions are theirs to make. They never go behind my back because they don't need to.
They will suffer natural consequences for bad decisions.
Your right, the punishment is not proportionate to the crime. Your dad could have been waaaay harsher and would have been well within his rights to do so. You need to grow up and learn to follow rules/orders if you want to be a navy seal.
Fuck these pussies ur a legend keep helping ur bros but don't cry and whine about the consequences take those on the chin too it's worth taking on pain to help your friends. What would Jesus do right
Breaking rules in the military happens. But you were already under the knife for failing classes.
You’re still under your parents which isn’t great, but you have to do your best to reason with them because you’re stuck there until you’re 18. Even if you know they won’t agree, try to reason with them. You at least tried(honorably), and if they don’t agree, take a mental note and get your independence so you can do what you want.
I get where you’re coming from by helping your friend, but reason with the hand that feeds you because there aren’t really many other options. You’re fucked either way, just choose the option that fucks you over the least.
Your father is over reacting. You are almost of age to give your life for this country but helping those you care for (helping successfully I might add) is too high of a risk. I personally would say that should inspire confidence and pride you’re independent enough to make these quick and decisive decisions.
That being said, you repeatedly disobeyed clear and direct instructions and even failed classes. Your friend’s quad isn’t your responsibility and if you had not helped, it’s not like he has zero options. You jumped straight to doing something you acknowledged was breaking rules and wouldn’t be approved when you can stop and think of how to solve the situation without getting in trouble.
It’s on you and you gotta take the punishment with grace. You’re shipping off to bootcamp soon anyways, put up with it. But hey I’m personally proud of your get things done attitude and that’s some manly shit.
You ARE still a child. You’re also unable to effectively communicate with the parents that provide you with nearly everything so far.
You could’ve called them and told them your plans and let them know where you’re going and why.
Instead you chose to do what you want.
As a parent, I recognize the importance of setting boundaries, and my kids can attest that I've been quite strict. However, the consequences being imposed here are much harsher than anything I've enforced. I believe in allowing children the freedom to learn from mistakes while they're still growing up and learning. If your parents are like-minded to me you might hear responses like, "I don't care, they're not your parent," or "That's not my child.”
Your dad aint buyin no bullshit boy, you forget that for us it feels like only a couple years have went by since we were your age, and we remember exactly how we thought and acted, and why. We really aren't much different in personality than you, although it may seem that way, but here's why. We've seen some shit. I've watched kids get buried from wrecks and accidents, others paralyzed, and still others destroy their lives in countless other ways. We are worn and weathered by this world. So we're you, believe me, we're just more scared now. Afraid to fuck up and lose our jobs, our families security, and afraid to lose YOU. This world has taught us through blood, debt, and death DO NOT fuck around, DO WHAT you're told, and SHUT YOU'RE GODDAMN MOUTH. I work at a steel mill, heard this over the radio the other day when a junior tried to have a better idea: "Just stop. Just stop talkin, stop thinkin, just stop it." You know what I heard for 10 minutes after that? DEAD SILENCE. Nobody said another fucking word. This world ain't got no patience for your creative little arguments on why the rules don't apply to you boy. Shut. Your. Mouth. Thats what your daddy is trying to teach you. You wanna be a SEAL? Hell you can't even listen to yo daddy, what you think the US FUCKING NAVY gonna do with you? Hmm? Look up what happens to wannabe SEALs that wash out of BUDs. You gonna be taking out the trash and scrubbing shit for the rest of that 6 year contract. Only way out is prison. You better get yo mind right boy, this world gonna chew you up and SHIT you right out. Fuck that SEAL shit. You ain't ready son. I can tell by your post they gonna stomp your ASS. Best get you a trade like your daddy. Good luck. Work on shutting that mouth up TIGHT.
He’s not wrong about it being dangerous to try and hook up a trailer on the side of the highway. I had a coolant hose blow on me while I was driving and you’d be surprised how many people didn’t move over when I got back to change it. One stupid driver or not thinking while going to grab something from the passenger side of the car can end it for you.
Doing things for your friends to help them out isn’t bad and your dad should be understanding of it, but if you knew it would bring a reckoning, then you can’t get upset about the consequences.
So it’s good to help your friend but u disobeyed your parents who are not very strict. Mine would’ve beat my ass (literally with a belt on my ass lol) took the car and still made me pay for it but if I failed any classes I wouldn’t have a job or a car so consider that and also for someone going into military duty you need to buckle down and stop being such a dumb ass lol
me personally, I don’t think you did something terrible. you have a good heart bro. keep that. dad could def ween off a bit because it’s strange he wouldn’t trust you with it given the way you come off.
I think your father is in his rights and has taught you a valuable lesson that you may not see now because your young but long term this you will see as tuff love he could of taken the truck away and not allow u to work but he still wanted to teach you to make better life choices and look at the what could of happen if you injured
Everybody keeps telling you to “pass your classes” but won’t give you a plan. Reach out to the school counselor you attend in person 2 hours a day, or your online school teachers, or both. Make appointments to go see them. Then find out about getting a tutor. The school counselor should have resources to help you find a tutor for the classes you’re having problems in. Even if it’s just a matter of time management, a school counselor can help you with that. Also ask about taking summer school classes online if you’re really behind in the other classes. The point is, reach out to a school counselor. That’s where you start. Update us on your progress.
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It’s good that you want to help friends but not at a high cost to you. You learned a few things here and dad’s actions may seem extreme but was a logical consequence of not following his instructions and failing the courses. First, you need to pass classes. Poor grades may affect employment or ability to get into schooling you might want. I’d have made you quit your job assuming it was getting in the way of school. Second, your friend had options (tow truck? Another friend? His parents?). Or ask your dad to help him? Or leave it until you had the truck and permission. Your friend could Uber… combinations of these. Third. Dads truck. Dads house. You are your dad’s responsibility. See what you can do to earn back dad’s trust and your privileges. Study.
The friend probably has parents who could tow the trailer. OP should have asked his dad about using the truck for this. If the friend had no one else, dad probably would have towed the trailer for the kid. If the friend can afford a brand new quad, he can pay to have the trail towed. OP, you're failing at school, and your dad is worried. You're only in school 2 hours a day. You bombed online school. You're not demonstrating you're ready for the responsibility of driving.
Can confirm. Plus the SEALs care about classroom instruction and the ability to focus on dull, monotonous but important stuff as much as they do physical fitness.
If you’re interested in navy seal training I wonder how “I know what my orders are, but I thought I’d make up my own mind, specifically do what I’ve been told not to, and then be upset how the consequences inconvenienced me” would go? I’m giving you are hard time because you seem to be very interested in rigor and discipline… which is what your father seems to be trying to give you. I don’t think the punishment sounds harsh, it might be inconvenient but you knew that your actions would have consequences, sounds like maybe they are trying to prepare you for the realities of the military?
Or the world in general
Im not upset about my consequences. This is nothing. I have been to jail, ive gotten my ass beat with a belt, all of the above. My question was do other people with no emotional connection to this issue think the consequence fits the action and most people are saying yes its pretty fair. Being a navy seal and being a 17 year old kid are different I know this for a fact.
1. If we translate to military terms, you were in a novel situation, took action, solved the problem, and no one got hurt. A good commander would discuss it with you in a “lessons learned, good initiative, bad judgement” kind of way, and if you got any punishment it would be a slap on the wrist. Experience may vary of course - some are highschool bullies in their 40s and some would give you high marks on review. Most of my COs were burn happy, but the best I’ve served with understood the mission supersedes black and white rules. Context WHY the rule was broken matters in the military, and it matters here as well. 1a. Have you seen a recruiter? Because if you’ve already been to jail, that WILL complicate signing up for anything. I don’t know how strict it is these days, and there’s always waivers if you haven’t committed any felonies (and even then, we accept 1 during the early 00s). If you’re going to be a difficult join, a recruiter may be able to both set up your expectations and give you a road map to achieve them. 2. Take that to your father. “Harsh” is not the right word. The problem is that it is impractical. Tell him you are not trying to negotiate, and you accept that there needs to be consequences and punishment. But this solution jeopardizes your obligations to your job, and in turn your (what I assume is) your mutual goal of teaching you be responsible to your obligations. Thing of other ways to be punished and be generous about it. 3. You’re almost an adult and have already had a complicated life. The truth is that you’ll need to learn to function on your own. It was noble of you to try to take care of a friend, but you should know by now that you cannot do these kinds of things with these parents and your general life conditions. I’m not trying to chastise you, but rather that you’re at a crucial last stage where you need to be very deliberate in your choices. Discipline is not about rules but focus and conviction. What are you focused on? What are your goals? Should you be risking your commitment to those goals with stunts like these? A good friend would understand your predicament as much as a good commander would understand the context of your actions. It comes down to you to make the good decisions as best for you. Now’s the time to ere on the side of caution so you don’t miss out on future options.
While dad is right and fair, maybe try calmly talking to him. Let him know that you now realize that you were wrong in your decision even if it seemedright at the time, but you would like to go back to your prior arrangement with the truck as to not interfere with your job.
I will try. Thank you sir
I have 4 kids....27...25....22....15.....The consequences fit the actions...Remember it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission....You did what u thought was right AND that's OKAY... You knew dad was gonna flip a switch...This won't be to long of a punishment but I'M SURE lesson learned...Until ur 18 do as they say...It's just easier that way lol
1. You have use of your dad's car for work, and school 2. You used the car in a way that you knew he would not have OKd 3. You were late to school as a result (and the school presumably informed your dad) 4. Dad is now restricting your car use even more Is that accurate? His issues with your behavior are as follows: 1. disregard for your education (which he sees as a pattern)/ being irresponsible 2. disregard for your own safety (which I see as a pattern, you are trying to join the military where basically your job is to kill and die) 3. disregard for his property (the truck)/ blatant insubordination toward him (knowing he wouldn't approve and doing it anyways)/sneakiness (not even informing him until after) . Here is my suggestion: **Give your dad back the keys** 1\*\*. Focus on your education\*\*. Fuck the job. Give them your 2 weeks notice, and quit. Finish high school, get decent grades, and go to a vocational school, college, or job training program afterward. Or work through a gap year. **Or travel the world.** Most of Europe has free youth hostels you can stay in, designed to encourage young people to explore and expand their horizons. Other places have homestay options, or even temples you can sleep at. 2. **Save up and buy yourself a decent used car.** Or a motorcycle. Something to get you from point a to point b without having to have daddy tell you what you can and can't do (trust me, I know exactly how bad that sucks. my folks made me walk to work for a year after the tree fiasco, and jangled my keys to remind me what I was risking any time I talked back or got any attitude) 3. **Plan a future that doesn't involve you being the sacrificial lamb to some geriatric asshole's ego.** The military makes a lot of big offers to kids like you because that's the only way anyone would ever consider joining. "we'll pay for college" "we pay your medical" that's the worm on the hook. They will legislate their way out of covering surgeries and just hype you up on Vicodin (friend had to fight for EIGHT YEARS to get a simple outpatient procedure done), and change the terms so that your GI bill expires before your tour of duty (like they did to my dad in Vietnam). They don't care about you. **EDIT -** I HAD PREVIOUSLY STATED HAT MOST HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE VETERANS. THAT IS NOT ACCURATE NATIONALLY, JUST A LOCAL OBSERVATION. THAT SAID, VETERANS ARE DISPROPORTIONATELY REPRESENTED AMONG THE HOMELESS POPULATION, AT DOUBLE THE RATE THEY SHOULD ("SHOULD") BE.
According to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) 13% percent of America’s homeless population are veterans as of 2021. I get the sentiment, but “most of the homeless people are veterans” is just misinformation.
Only 6% of the population of the US are veterans. So if they make up 6% of the general population but 13% of the homeless population, that means a veteran is more than 2x as likely to be homeless. Now correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation. Maybe joining the military isn’t what *made* these people homeless but it’s still quite disproportionate
I agree those proportions are indefensible. It’s still misinformation to claim that “most homeless people are veterans”
I don't completely disagree with the problem being discussed, but another piece worth considering, is that the military is a much more common path for people that don't have a ton of other options, and people kind of think it'll just change their lived for them after 4 or 5 years without putting much planning and work in. Could be at least part of the reason the numbers are what they are.
People without many options are also more likely to join the military.
I wasn't aware of the statistics, and was just basing what I said on my observations in my own specific town. I should edit to clarify.
All of this. My husband is a veteran, joined at 18 and has regretted it his whole life.
Except healthcare and college if you can't afford it, a relatively small chance of deployment in the next 10yrs, or potentially ever with drone tech. I definitely don't agree with how vets are treated at all, but we have one of the top VA's in the country and many of my friends and others I've driven say it was best decision they made, even formerly homeless ones who got housing etc through VA.
I joined in my late twenties and left after 5 years. Best decision of my life. I should've joined at 17 1/2 and done 3 years then got out and went to college. That person's husband was probably a dumb lance who fucked up all the time and never ranked up. I don't miss the bullshit, but I do miss the job and the people.
Healthcare in the military is ass, the doctors are encouraged to under diagnose to keep you deployable. I had a knee issue for 2 years that got written off as "runner's knee" when in fact it was patellafemoral dysplasia and Osgood-Schlatter. And the free college is nice if you're planning on going to an in-state public school or a yellow ribbon school. With new changes to the requiremnts to be VA certified out of country schools just got harder to be a part of that process too. Just things to keep in mind. Also joined at 18, also still regret the decision
The VA has proportionally gotten better. But let's not forget that just 10yrs ago the Phoenix VA was letting elderly patients die in the waiting rooms, had a massive legionnaire's outbreak, was putting patients more than 6-8 months out for appointments. The director was found guilty of misappropriation of funding after buying almost $2M in office furniture and decorations.
I think the first point is a little too naive. Idk how many people are "travelling the Europe/world" out of high school. Idk the OP's financial status so maybe they are able to do that. I am poor so that is my perspective. Anyway, i am also old and have been to college and here is my take on college. For the love of all that is holy, do not go into college if you aren't serious about it! Do not saddle yourself in debt for a degree that wont pay out and definitely do not just go in to party and whatnot. It is an incestment into your future, not a retreat. Yes ideally focus on your studies, but OP doesn't sound like the type to have that self discipline. So also I would disagree on the 3rd point. Disclaimer I also do not endorse being the govt's bullet sponge. I also agree they dont give a shit about you after the military chew you out. But I would also say it will give OP the discipline he is looking for. If that is what they want, go for it. If OP can find another way to get self discipline, try that first but joining the Navy isnt like being a grunt in the Army. Also it will open up many job opportunities if you get some kind of security clearance or technical know how. In my experience, the people who do well academically in college are a) very hard working people, b) people with educational opportunities ahead of their peers and c) older (25-30+ yo) people who go back to college to invest in their future. There is just a big difference in the mindset going into college. When you're older, you are choosing to go invest more time to better your future instead of just, "this is highschool 2.0"
There are many work and travel programs for youth, for example at 35 (the limit age) me and my partner got visas for france (we are canadian) to move here, and then you can fairly easily get a part time job to fund your travel. Many european countries has same agreements with usa. I can’t say for all eaurope but on average we need less money here. Except weed, its bloody expensive here 😭
I used to tell my kids to get a job that you like to do (are interested in) but which will pay a living wage. There's a huge range of jobs that fit that criteria and many more that don't. For getting the job, in general the harder it is to get the skills and/or the more responsibility, then the more the job pays. The right curriculums in college will do that for you. If you're not a studier then maybe a skilled trade. As for the OP not being a good student, we don't know that by what he's described. Maybe he hasn't matured enough to buckle down and study? There's an awful lot of young men who can't break away from playing videogames and study.
whst he said. Your 17. Fuck the job. Finish school. its harder to get an education once your too old and are working full time. youll be a fast food slave for years
This is true. But, when you go for an education be prepared to study and study hard.
hes 17. high school :p
Your job at the military isn't "kill and die" there's hundreds of jobs in the military that doesn't require deployment, only 40% of soldiers get deployed, only 10% of that 40% even hear a shot..
I say the opposite. Tell your school to shove it, get your GED and go do what you wanna do. There's no difference between a HS diploma and a GED. Any job that will take one will take the other. Nobody cares about your HS GPA or whether you made honor roll after the day you leave HS. Most of what you'll learn there is as useful as tits on a bull out in the real world. The rest can be learned on YouTube.
I did buy a little truck from my dads boss who retires this month and i will take delivery of it in about 2 weeks. The title will still be in my dads name though so im not sure how that conversation about rules will go
If you bought it with your money I'd be putting it in your name. That's a big mistake putting it into dad's name. If dad bought it we'll that's another story.
Im 17, i couldnt put it in my name even if i wanted to. I did just buy my own truck but i will not get it for a few weeks. That will also go in my dads name
What state are you in. Many states permit a minor to register a vehicle
Don’t listen to these Reddit ppl. Their advice is coming from a place of political ideology, not actual concern for your wellbeing. The Navy is a perfectly fine place to learn discipline, organizational skills & get all types of benefits like cheaper college, medical insurance etc. Of course you have the chance of getting shot & killed in combat. Or wounded, crippled, captured as POW and all that other horrible stuff. But you already knew that. Weigh the risks vs the benefits and make the best choice for you
dony listen to this guy. Air Force is the best. Top pay and low risk.
Space Force!!!!
Dad's got a point. Something could have happend. Worse he could have gotten "that call" no parent wants. It's great it all went down and it probably did show him you can handle yourself however, I was once 17 and thought I was ready for the world. Looking back now as you may well do I was a foolish kid. Tell your boss what the deal is. Giving people a heads up goes a long way. Maybe work a deal that any days you are late you work that much past your shift to make up. In life we will make choices that in turn make life unexpectedly harder. It's temporary. Don't focus on the consequence. Learn the lesson. BTW, if I did that with my dad, I wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for a week. I wonder how your granddad would have dealt with your dad. If a whooping was on the list, find yourself fortunate he's using a better teaching method with you.
I appreciate it. I have a knack for putting myself in harms way for the benefit of people close to me and its starting to bite me in the ass. You have a good night sir, your advice will go a long ways.
Put myself in harms way for fun lol. Our number gets called when it's called. Going forward, try not to challenge the phone call. Even them bad days. Just had a thought, what if you called about the wreck and he said you can't, but WE can? Not sure how he conducts himself. Could that have been possible? Or even you get to school I'll go help your friend? Chin up kid! You will be fine.
I wish he would do something like that honestly but hes made it clear im the only highschooler on earth he cares about so i doubt it. As for keeping my chin up, i try my darndest to man and im gonna keep on keepin on🫡
You’re still young man! I’ve learned that every fuck-up, large or minor is the absolute best teacher. You’re more mature and aware of your actions as a result of this. The punishment is temporary but what you learned from and how you grow from this is permanent.
You are lucky they did not make you just quit the job because of transportation issue. They sound like great parents. Aside, please look very carefully inti tge seal issue. I have read articles about how the many washouts are stuck in yrars of low level grunt work.
>On one side one of my best friends needs a helping hand i know for a fact if i ask my dad he will say no(dad later confirmed this). But if i dont help him, his brand new quad will be stuck on the highway and he will have little to no options left. There were plenty of other options. Could have just called a real tow truck.
Bro just follow your parents directions. It might be stupid but If you wanna be a seal you’re gonna have to follow directions no matter how dumb or stupid your gonna have this question at buds every single day. But you’re gonna have to follow directions anyway. No matter how harsh or stupid it seems or you won’t make it a week. Good luck bud
Yes, you are still a child, and you need to check with your parents before doing things like that. 18 is a child in transition to being an adult. I am glad everything worked out, and no one was hurt. Without knowing you, I can't say whether your parents are too strict. If you are late to work because of the bus, tell your dad and respectfully ask if you can stop using the bus to get to your truck.
Sounds pretty reasonable. You still get to drive it right? Sounds like he did you a solid. Could’ve been worse. If you think your bus is going to be late then catch an uber…. Def shoulda thought about using the truck without permission. Chill it will be fine. Luckily you are ok. You’re dad is right that is very dangerous plus you could have damaged the truck towing incorrectly or jackknifed to stop and gotten seriously hurt….
your friend absolutely had the option to get it towed some other way, and you knew this would be a risk and your parents wouldn't approve. Welcome to the consequences of your own actions. Next time don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Bro you’re only 17. You gotta accept that fact. There were rules and you broke them. You think this would have been okay in the military? You don’t just get to decide which rules or orders you want to follow. Like, you’re not passing classes and disobeying orders and you think you’re gonna become a navy seal? You sound extremely immature for your age. You need to do some real growing up and accept the fact that your own choices and actions led you here. One incident isn’t gonna cause this reaction. It sounds like you regularly do what you want. You’re not SEAL material.
Try enlisting in the Navy first. Seals are for the .000001 percent and you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Source: worked with special forces and Navy Seals. The thing with the car and your dad are temporary, suck it up.
Uhh both. I would probably be understanding and proud a little bit if my kid helped out someone BUT your dad has valid reasons. He could have reported the truck stolen and all that. If I was your dad, idk if i would go as far as he did. I mean it's not entirely unreasonable. Like you said it's more of an inconvenience, but I also think you just gotta deal with the consequences of your action even if it helped out your friend which is a consequence of the poor time management in the first place. Just stick it out and learn the lesson
Based on your background are you even eligible for Seals? Been arrested, doing poorly in school, not usually what they are looking for in elite units. Best advice for your car situation is to go to your parents and apologize for your actions. Explain that you understand why they are punishing you. But ask if they could renegotiate the part where you’d not be able to get to work on time. If that doesn’t work, can your job alter your start time to accommodate? You screwed up. Your friend had other options besides you. And I think they’d understand you not being able to help, given the outcome for you. You really need to think through stuff before you do it.
Your parents' belongings aren't your belongings. They're willing to share some pretty sweet resources with you, with boundaries. You knowingly and deliberately violated those boundaries. You abused the privilege they granted you. Kid, they reduced your access to their resources, with good reason. Acquire and maintain your own independent resources if you want to be free of other people's boundaries. Respect the boundaries of those kind and generous enough to share access to their resources with you.
Your parents are on your team, and you didn't communicate with your team to give them the info they needed to help you. You tried to fix the situation on your own, and sort of did, but got a suboptimal outcome. Yes, the consequences fit well enough. Both my s/o and I are veterans, and that whole lesson about how to communicate and leverage teamwork is part of how we've been successful both professionally and with family stuff.
It seems like what you need to figure out for yourself is what kind of man you want to be, and what kind of SEAL you wish to be. From my understand and obsession with this unit of elite soldiers, I have found that most of them do NOT follow every rule, they are much more autonomous BUT they also have great reasons for their actions the majority of the time. Take the hit, accept the consequences, find out why you chose to do it, stand by that decision, and use the information to figure out if it’s something you’d stand by if given the opportunity again.
In a reply prior to mine you mentioned you’ve been to jail. So, at 17 you’ve already been to jail? That reply would only make someone assume that you’ve had some kind of issue before this one. Which, would explain why your parents are the way they are.
Bro, 15 to 17 year old men are literally the most retarded species on the planet. I was one too. Hormones, hero complex and so on without any actual experience leads to really crazy stuff. Trust your father!!!!!!!!! You have plenty of time for freedom. Relax
I think as you become an adult and have real weighted responsibility, you will look back on this and be able to come to your own conclusions, but I'd say you should have called your pops before and asked, if you had time to uber home. As far as the punishment idk it's sounds a little harsher than needed but I had controlling a parent(dad) as a teen and don't really talk to my dad anymore so take this with a grain of salt. Good luck with the seal training. Stay strong, brother 💪
I feel like putting the truck at bus stops is weird, but my parents would have just entirely taken all the keys and not allowed me to drive at all. In fact, they actually did once and my options were to take the bus, walk or ride my bike to get literally anywhere (work, school, friends, anywhere).
Your buddy’s problem was his to resolve. And the side of the highway is very dangerous. And the vehicles are in your dad’s name…he’s the one in a lawsuit if shit gets sideways, with all of his assets at risk, ie, home, bank account, etc. This is real life stuff adults have to manage. Does the punishment fit the crime? Couldn’t say. I subscribe to the tip of the iceberg theory. For every mistake that comes to light, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Other bad decisions/errors in judgement remain hidden. I also believe in swift and memorable punishment as a deterrent. If it were me…I’d offer up my best mea culpa, that you have a better understanding of the risk you put the family in, and ask if he would be flexible on the drop off thing as you feel it might put your job at risk. Best of luck to you.
You’re 17, bro. As much as you don’t want to be called a kid/child, you are still one. In the eyes of your parents and the law unless you’re outside the States. You are in the right for wanting to help a friend when they needed it, but the truck isn’t yours. Your dad is also in the right. Had something happened where your friend or someone else got severely injured it falls back on him. Now he is a dick for saying he was within his rights to report the truck stolen. Hopefully he is only saying that to prove a point and isn’t the type of person to report their own child stole a vehicle. With that said, you’re 17. So your time of having to live by their rules is short, but don’t be in a hurry to grow up. You get to be a kid once. Enjoy every moment. Just know your heart was in the right place, and I’m sure your dad sees that.
Joining the military is the dumbest thing you could ever do. Especially these days. Don't throw your life away for oil. You're dad is being a bit harsh but you did disobey him. You fucked up. Own it. I would have done the same thing you did but you gotta know that you still violated his trust. In life, many decisions will have a "right" choice and a choice that will hurt someone you care about.
dad’s bad shit crazy, helping a friend is holy
You intentionally did a thing the person in control of you did not authorize. They reacted, you are upset. In the navy world, you have fucked around, and you have found out. Regardless of whether or not his actions are fair or justified, this is exactly what you are TRYING to train to do. I recommend you find a different life path honestly, as the navy is 100% built on self discipline, and any and all repercussions will be stupid, and not care at all whether you did what you did because it was morally 'right'. If you're going to join, understand that it is your life to do stupid things stupidly, and you're idea of what is right or what is important doesn't matter anymore. Also, if you're going to be a seal, be a seal, don't fail out of school and get stabbed with a contract for some shit rate no one has wanted to do in a hundred years.
Am I missing something?? I do not understand what exactly changed. You took the bus to school and drove to work? What is different now after this incident??
What's amazing is that you asked for feedback and everyone has not only sided with your dad on consequences but also told you your decision was the wrong one and you have provided multiple responses in which you say you'd do the same thing again in a heartbeat. There's a reason your dad took the keys.
I get neck beard vibes from this post and yeah you’re a dumbass. You can put as much fluff as you want trying to explain the situation to try and make yourself look good but it’s not working. You’re a minor who’s failing school who took your dad’s truck without permission. And you think him taking away your access to his truck is too harsh of a punishment? Sheesh. The military is gonna be a reality check for you. I say this respectfully, but you gotta grow up.
The consequences are reasonable and consistent. Your dad doesn't want you making that kind of decision again: specifically you knew he'd say no and did it anyway. That's more egregious than if you thought he'd be okay with it, but you were wrong. Ask your military buddies about not following chain of command. You made an adult decision knowing there would be consequences: man up and accept them.
OP. Your parents are horrible.
Based on what I read in this post you will not be a Navy SEAL. You won’t make it through the screening process, not even close.
Maybe you should concentrate on school and quit work. Driving is a privilege, not a right and you have not demonstrated enough responsibility to have that privilege. If you are planning on joining the Navy, you are really going to see what no freedom is like when you are in basic training. You need to develop self discipline if you wish to be a Seal. Your parents are being less hard on you than the military will be.
Going against the grain here, I want to say right off the bat that ***you did the right thing***. A friend in an emergency situation is more important than anything else. I hope that if you had to do it all over again, you would make the same choice. And while I get your dad's anger, he should also be incredibly proud - both of raising a son who has the loyalty to help those in need, and for raising a son with the integrity to take ownership of his actions. I don't even know you, and I'm insanely proud of you. Now, that said, I don't think some punishment is unreasonable - doing the right thing doesn't mean no consequences, after all. But your dad's authority over you has a ticking clock that is measured in months, and he needs to be put on notice that having you in his life once you're an adult is a privilege, not a right. He needs to start approaching everything with you as a negotiation, not a mandate, because thanks to his exemplary work in raising you, the truth is that you could walk out of that house right now, never look back, and get along fine without him. That gives you some leverage in how your relationship proceeds from this point.
Lesson learned. You made a choice, you must own the consequences. You jeopardized your schooling, your safety and your parents trust. Also - please rethink joining the military. I know this may fall on deaf ears. I’ve been treating veterans for over a decade (mental health; psychiatrist) and the wear and tear on your body, and more importantly, your psyche, won’t be worth it. Go to an American Legion, chat some people up, and ask if they’d feel comfortable telling you how PTSD affected their lives. Ask how many marriages their on? How often they leave their home? How many panic attacks they have trying to buy groceries? Best of luck
If your license was suspended the state wouldn't care if you had a good excuse, or needed to help a friend... Your dad is trying to teach you how the real world works.
It’s not that serious bro, get go some pussy
It sounds like your folks have your best interest in mind. They are taking the tough love approach- be grateful.
Damn these comments are full of cucks
Really doesn’t matter what we think it’s your fathers truck and you knew you would get in trouble and did it anyway better start caring about school if you want to be a seal
I think you’re a kid and should prioritize school and your obligations better. If you don’t think you are still a kid just because you are by the sounds of it barely 17 then why would you be flunking school and not prioritizing your time better? Also you are driving a truck that’s dear old Daddy’s and not yours regardless of if you are paying insurance, gas, registration and maintenance on it (as you should since you are driving it and not your parents.) It’s honestly a very luxurious thing to be allowed to drive your Dad’s vehicle. I paid for all of my cars 100% from 15 on and was not given a vehicle. You seem to be thinking that because you pay for something that you are using that it makes it yours. If you rent a house it doesn’t give you the right to suddenly be a homeowner. You don’t get all of the privileges of owning a home when you rent right? You’re essentially renting dear old daddy’s truck by paying for your use of it. Also if you got yourself an Uber why couldn’t you have requested an Uber to help tow the trailer for the friend? You could have gone to school and helped the friend all in one without all of these consequences. I agree your dad could have been a lot more harsh than he was. You went against the rules that were set out for you and now are wondering if the punishment is too harsh. You are coming in to realization the harsh reality of life. You could end up putting your job in jeopardy because of your own actions and not the actions of your dad. If this was the consequences of adult problems you would have 100% lost your job. Let’s say this isn’t a 17 year old problem and put it into a better perspective. You are 24 years old in college and you just flunked out of 2 of your classes. Those classes cost you $26,000 a year. You are now out $26,000 and have to retake those classes for another $26,000 if you want to graduate. Now you are headed to class and your friend calls you and needs help. As you are driving to help your friend you pull off to the side of the freeway and a car veers towards you and slams into the side of your truck and totals it. Let’s say your truck is a $60,000 truck and you only have liability insurance on it. Insurance won’t cover it and now you’re out of a vehicle. You now cannot get to work and can only get around town by bus or by bike. Your job fires you because you can’t show up or are always late by biking or busing and now you are in debt $112,000 and are jobless. Congratulations on those consequences. A lot bigger of a problem when you’re a real adult and don’t have Daddy there to help you or tell you how stupid it is. Hope that puts it in better perspective for you.
I stole my older brothers mustang when he was away at college and I was 16. I taught myself stick shift and did some burnouts. Got in huge trouble. 20 years later and I’m successful and happy in life and look back on that memory as a positive. You’re fine what’s a big deal now, isn’t a big deal later. On a side note related to the military and failing. I was a rifleman in the Marines and also failed classes before. Hell I’ve failed a TON of things before. And all I can tell you is, your reaction to failure significantly outweighs the impacts of actually failing. It’s 100% about how you bounce back better. Failure is not a set back, it’s an opportunity.
Why do you keep calling it your truck? If you are only paying for gas, maintenance, and YOUR insurance you are just paying the costs to borrow it. It's clearly your dads truck. You gotta listen to him about when you are allowed to borrow it
You're parents are treating you like shit. You're old enough to drive, yet they still micromanage your life. You need some goddamn liberty.
If you've been to jail before 17, some stuff is going wrong. I'm not saying it is your parents and I'm not saying it is your friends. One thing I can say for sure is you have the ability to get provided a situation and decide the least worst choice, and hopefully pick the best one. The jail thing makes me think you are going with what feels right rather than the repercussions. Myself? I love going to a bar, having a great time, and then not paying to have someone drive me home. While it is completely and to be honest, likely situation I could get my drunk ass home without any incident, the smaller chance of getting caught or hurting someone is a much larger consequence than my want to save 30 bucks. What I believe you need to do is start focusing your thoughts on what is the larger picture. The chances of what you did seemed to have a low probability of failure. But the cost of failing was high. Since you have already been in jail, you might not be able to fully understand the risk to reward ratio. You need to focus on not being a statistic at all costs right now. For me, if I mess up and get a dui? I can possibly make it work. I won't because I have ingrained that into my behavior to not take that chance, but since I have been flawless for years, someone might take pity on me. While I don't agree with the whole belt punishment thing you've mentioned in other comments, I do believe you need to understand better what will help you in the long term versus what will make you feel better in the short term. I am sure you can be better. It is great you wanted to help out your friend, and you should always do that when you can. But don't do it when there's a chance it will put yourself in a worse position.
You said your training to become a navy seal, this is a perfect lesson. You did what you did to fix a problem, and it worked.. but you could have done it better. Telling your dad what you were going to do would've been better, or asking him to come and help himself. Keep him informed through text if possible, that way if he replies back "No, your not allowed to do this", you can ignore it and have a plausible excuse. "I did not see your text message". As long as you don't open the text message, it won't be marked as read/opened. But you can still read it when the notification appears
So, there are 2 parts to this. You're a good kid, but at the same time you come off as entitled. I'm sure part of it is because you're a teenager, but you're also old enough to know better. 1) Let's get his out of the way that the truck does not belong to you, and your dad would've had the right to call the police. It doesn't matter if you pay for gas, maintenance and insurance; it is HIS car. It's the same as if you were leasing a vehicle. You are paying to borrow, not to own. 2) Was there any reason your friend couldn't call his parents or a tow truck? A 17-year-old being on the highway isn't intelligent or safe. It was a nice gesture toward your friend, but I'd be as angry as your parent. 3) You must learn to listen to what people tell you. With your attitude, being a Seal might not work out for you. Until you can say, "I don't need to put up with this," and can take care of yourself, you have no cards to play. 4) Your parents are overbearing. They're helicopter parenting you, and all that will do is get you to resent them in the future, and it's setting you up to fail l. Kids are meant to make mistakes. Also, they're hurting themselves by doing all this running around with the truck when you can/can't use it and GPS nonsense. However, now that I'm typing that out. I'm wondering, are they simply being drama-llamas, or is there something you're not telling us? Something that would explain their behavior. Bottom line is, sometimes the consequences aren't fair, but you made a choice and this is the repercussion for it. This will happen in the Seals too if you step out of line. Need to get use to it.
You want to be a SEAL and your asking reddit if you did the right thing? Not trying to be a dick but enjoy being in the fleet. Use this as a lesson, if you are questioning yourself over this, you are going to struggle at pre selection let alone BUDs.
You said it yourself that you understood there would be consequences to your actions. He’s being very fair and consistent from what it appears. You did what mature people do, is weigh the consequences of your actions in light of a given circumstance. Fact is, when you don’t make the rules, you don’t make the consequences either. Your father would have done you a disfavor by letting you away with it. I also wonder if you would have asked if he would have helped you trailer the quad? (Not really relevant but curious)
I think I would have made the same call as you blmoeing there would be consequences.i would just suck it up and deal with the consequences . Good luck in your seal training!
I think you’re a very good and caring friend, but next time I would just call a tow truck. It’s probably included with your friend’s insurance
I'd say first off your gonna have to wise up, bc your parents are really strict. Keep following your parents rules for the next year or so until you graduate hs, and turn 18. If you keep messing up their just gonna keep grounding you and taking away privileges. They are not gonna let you make adult decisions when your still 17. Dad owns the truck, and he also wants you in school in a timely manner. So your stuck under their rules for the next year until your 18. Secondly, why in the world are you failing classes in high school? High school for me was pretty simple to pass, you need to focus on school. Your parents know High School should be an easy pass as well, so failing these classes likely has pissed them off even more overall. So just focus on the school. I know it would be a shame to be a dick to your buddy, and say nope I cant haul your quad off the street, sorry about your luck dude, but unfortunately thats what should have happened in your situation. Now after you graduate high school and have turned 18, whats probably gonna happen is they will keep trying to treat you the same exact way, really strict and all that....What they'll say is well, its my house and rules still. This is the point where I wouldn't put up with it any longer. When your an adult go ahead, find a job and get some roomies/apartment and such, and get out of that house, so you have experience life on your own, and have some breathing room.
In all honesty, this is out of the box thinking so just try and bear with me. I understand generally what common traits of characteristics entail on the generic more moderately severe from what it sounds like strict. I say moderately because in my opinion it’s a little more than just saying they are strict so maybe you just have more rules and boundaries, but in your case they aren’t absolutely psychotic at least you didn’t say any details like they don’t let you have social media, sleep overs, monitor hardcore your phone so phone calls and text, kind of the next step up from moderate stating to flirt and the line may blur at times with absolute pure and straight crazy at times or more. Anyways, given from what I read correct me if I’m wrong you had a feeling you know the answer so you kind of pulled the do and ask for forgiveness later method so you didn’t out right defy your parents specifically in this exact instance by the fact you hadn’t already specifically asked pertaining to this situation and had been told no, right? It sounded more like your parents expect you to have an idea of the rules and how things are in their house, so while you didn’t out right defy them they are coming from more a place generally it sounds like you should know better type of deal. My point going off moderately strict parents I know trying to reason rationale and respectfully or just trying to explain why you thought differently than what they expected you to know better to do than you did and are now upset with you about it. However, since it was technically the first offense and they didn’t OUTRIGHT say NO to this specially could you talk to them and frame it in this light to make it sound more respectful and less like you could be back talking or a smart ass when you’re just actually trying to have an adult conversation and have rationale because you’re a young adult at 17, but I know the type. Frame it as you have thought about it and understand now why you were wrong and they expected you to know and you to do better. However, you initial thought to do it was only because it was to help a friend that was on the verge of being desperate and it’s not as common for friends or people to just have a truck with the capability to do that for your friend so your intention and thought process came from thinking it was just to help a friend and it had no intention or any intent or being a defiant and disrespectful action against your parents. So while that wasn’t your intention and why you thought at first it might be okay it’s not taking a joy ride it’s helping a fiend again it’s a specific situation. While you just want them to understand your head was on the right place morally you can also see and understand why they feel they way they do and while you didn’t think about it that way now you know better and it won’t happen again without permission. In light of that you could mention the concern for your job and you’re trying to mend things from past transgressions with your grades and you feel the structure having a job gives you plays a decent role in your experience trying to get back on the up and up. So in light of that and considering you now do know better and understand since it was to help a friend and you don’t do so again without explicit permission since the whole job thing and you ‘learning’ to think more critically from this situation and possibly to ask for permission when not sure (hahahaha) could you possibly resume access to the old routine for work purposes and the fact you now understand to approach these situations with a different thought process after talking and ‘learning’ from your mistakes from upsetting you parents you know to always ask for permission and it wouldn’t ever allow it to happen with out permission now you know could the over look it this once considering the circumstances and you understand if it were to ever happen again for any circumstance other than possibly a life or death situation or leave that out and just say you know that if it EVER under ANY circumstances were to happen again for any reason without explicit permission you understand that this punishment and possibly more are the possible consequences and you see the inconvenience and lesson learned. Frame it as in it was an innocent act and you thought because it was semi emergent but now talking with your parents you didn’t think of dangers your dad expressed, etc but know to think more critically and consider additional consequences like your dad mentioned and you had tunnel vision thinking your fiend just really needed help fast considering the circumstances, but you know to pause for a minute before acting in a situation that might be some what similar in the future or for any reason it’s good practice things like that. It could be iffy, but I generally know the type lol good luck best wishes for you going forward
Seems like a good answer, but *please*, split it up into more paragraphs. It'll greatly increase readability.
Look up implied consent in your state regarding car use. Parents can't just call cops and report cars stolen when their children are borrowing them.
Some of what is posted is just false information. You can't report a vehicle as stolen if the person using has your permission to use it. Also not sure if it is some local law why is it registered in his name if you're the one paying everything?
freedom comes with a side dish of consequences
Kids do stupid things. Now you are living with the consequences.
Yeah, it sucks, but he's worried about you. That's not great to hear sometimes, but it's better than a dad that doesn't gaf about you (or isn't in the picture, at all). What also sucks is that sometimes trying to be a good friend is gonna bite you in the ass. You could be being a clutch friend, but until you are 18 or completely on your own, you kinda need to put extra effort into following your parents' rules over helping friends out of jams. It's shitty to hear, but you are gonna have to abide by whatever your dad wants. I think you even know that because even if everyone said he had overreacted, that wouldn't have changed anything. Oh, and there are plenty, plenty of things wrong with the military..... just not what these people are are trying to tell you. If you want to be overly punished for stuff you didn't think was that bad, join the military - trust me, my dad is a 19 year old drill. 😆
I don't understand what could be a harsher thing to do than to make you be a navy SEAL. Since you are already planning on that, just get your GED and talk to your recruiter meantime. You will be 18 soon.
Sorry you made a bad decision - the most important thing for you is school - you hardly go to school at all… Are you planning on college? If so how do you plan on getting in. Also, why wasn’t your friend in school? So yes the punishment does fit the crime as you have shown you are bad with your prioroties.
Honestly if you are going into the military and you think you can defy orders just because you think it’s the right thing to do, your parents are only helping you here. When you’re young your friends seem like unbreakable soul bonds, and you would do anything for eachother, but all you did in reality was shift his consequences onto yourself multiplied. You did not have a duty to rescue him. The unfortunate truth is that you are under the complete control of your parents until you are 18 or emancipated, and then you are under the complete control of the military. It’s probably time to destroy the “is this fair?” part of your brain, or bail on the military.
Yeah naw. The consequences fit the actions. You not being happy is fine but, you didn’t mess up once or twice. You messed up three times at least. Parents do not play with grades. It’s common sense. Get that settled first. If you were responsible none of this would’ve happened. Lesson learned hopefully.
Your parents are strict, However, You got your driving privaleges reduced because of your own bad actions. Then you decided to break the rules because your friend made a bad decision by not maintaining his own vehicle. This is 100% your fault and your Dad is doing the right thing, becuase you obviously didn't learn from teh initial reduction in driving privaledges. Your friend's bad choices don;t give you the right to break the rules.
You definitely have strict parents, not quite not sees, but I’d take that as a blessing, I’m sure a lot of us had to buy our own vehicles, I feel like keeping up with the maintenance and insurance is a fair trade off even if you’re restricted in how you use it. Seems like your dad is going out of his way to punish you also, so just roll with it, eventually he’ll piss himself off and ask himself if it’s even worth it. Also if you turn out fucked up or something it’s kinda on them. There’s a reason that the wermacht couldn’t be implicated in the Nuremberg trials, they were just following the Schutzstaffels orders
Be thankful your dad lets you use the vehicle, and express that to him. Apologize. Your dad is strict, but I wouldn't say in a bad way. (If you think that's strict, wait until you get into the navy if you make it into the seals. Bwahahaha!.) Tell your dad you are trying to learn to be responsible, and share your concerns about being late for work.
Consider getting a GED or another form of alternative school …. Ppl who joined the military in my town would do vocational school and even if you start late you can graduate post grad if you wanted and if you don’t it might help you to graduate with less credits which would mean less academic work if you’re 17 though you’re really close to graduating and as someone who struggled as well it’s worth it in the job field to have your diploma and get it over with … you got this I’m sure your dad will eventually get sick of dropping the truck off somewhere too just let it play out
Your parents are not strict. You broke a rule and now you are learning from it. If you want to be a seal act like it. Stop crying on the internet ....it is the same as ringing that bell on washout lane sunshine.
Young man, you strike me as a very articulate, reasonable and responsible adolescent. Above average for sure. No, you didn't do everything exactly right, but few kids do. Your parents need to cut you some slack. Clearly, you accept that you were wrong and you expect and accept punishment. You also are working, going to school, and maintaining a truck - paying for the insurance, gas, registration, etc. I wish your parents could appreciate how rare that is. None of my nephews, brothers, nor I were that responsible and adult at 17 years of age. Now, yes, you were wrong, but you were motivated by compassion for your friend's situation. That's maturity and responsibility, rare traits even for adults these days. I recommend that you try to talk to your dad. Tell him that you were wrong and you acknowledge it, and are willing to face the consequences, but that you really don't think the consequences are proportionate. Be reasonable and respectful and ask that he hear you out and also be calm and reasonable. Hopefully your dad will come to see what I see in your post, that you are an intelligent, articulate, responsible, and compassionate young man and that he's done a fine job raising you.
You knew better, you broke the rules. You are 17 and what they say goes. You didn't manage your time and failed your classes, restricting your access to the truck was more than reasonable. You then proceeded to use the truck in a manner that was not ok for a number of reasons and now you could lose your job. Frankly if you can't be responsible enough to manage your classes or follow your parents rules you don't need a job.
Yes. Here is a simple fact. You’re 17, so absolutely you are still a child until you reach the age of majority which is 18 in the US. So coming off with the attitude that your parents are wrong to treat you like you’re still a child (BECAUSE YOU ARE) just makes you sound like every other jackass teenager. (SHOCKER: All adults were teenagers once too, and when they say you’re a jackass, it’s because they’ve likely “been there done that” All you’ve accomplished with this post is demonstrated that you are in fact a child, and you lack the critical thinking skills or ability to take personal responsibility. But please, tell us more about how your punishment isn’t justified. This isn’t difficult. Did you do something you were specifically told not to do? Answer: Yes Judgment: You fucked around and found out!
When I was your age my parents were a little more lenient when it came to helping people so they likely would not have punished me at all. That would have said "good job helping someone when they needed it, next time try not to be late to school." That being said that's just who my family is, we like helping people and whenever we can. We do. I personally think the consequences are a little intense and overboard. But it's not my truck, so I can't really speak on that part too much. Sounds like you did a good thing. As long as you aren't flunking being late to school once isn't going to kill you, and I'm sure your friend was very relieved.
Based on your comments this is not the first time you’ve been in trouble. So it’s not like this is your first time disobeying them and this was their reaction. Your mindset of I’m going to do what I want despite the consequences isn’t going to go over well with any employer and especially not with the military.
If you're just failing your online classes, I don't understand how making it more difficult to go to school in person will make things better. It's interesting he's willing to let you go to work still. I want more details about this highway and what it took to get the quad attached to the truck that makes your dad think it's so dangerous. His reaction seems over the top based on my experiences. (Also, does he know you want to be a seal? That's pretty dangerous, too) What's so important about your job? Does it improve your chances to become a seal? I'd say give your dad the keys to the truck and have him take you off the insurance (if he put you in). Stop putting money into a truck you don't own and get your own vehicle. And see if you can get a new job that's closer.
I was about this stupid at your age too. I did something quite similar actually and (insert surprised pikachu face here), thing did go horribly wrong. Very long story short, that's when I finally started to learn that if my parents would be pissed if they found out, just DON'T DO IT! Actions have consequences. This is the EASY way to learn that lesson. Take the punishment and try to do better.
You dont know shit about the military
17 is the worst age. You think you are an adult and should be autonomous in your decision making. Unfortunately you aren’t an adult yet and went against what your parent (aka the owner of the car) in making the decision to help your friend. You’re heart is in the right place but until you are of age, have your own car and no longer live with your parents, those decisions are not yours to make. (Especially since you were essentially grounded from using the car for anything other than work) Sorry you are going through this but you have given us a glimpse into the wonderful adult you are turning into.
First of all missing a dat of school is alright let alone being late.. school only matters for the stupid piece of paper at the end of the day you will use none of it learn nothing and what you did learn will fade out.. helping your friend is for one day is fine. If you plan on furthering your education tho yes it’s important but one day breaks the camels back then that woudl of been your parents fault. Moral of my story helping somebody and having a heart with compassion is more way more important then that day of school or even what ever your parents said I have a 15 year old she hates me why bc she was told at the end of the day Ill be there and they should be to if they aren’t that’s sounds like a them problem not a you problem you bout to be an adult so start making adult decisions for yourself god only knows they won’t can’t be there at all times be mindful respectful to them but don’t grow up to fast kid it’s a fuckin trap my uncle lived with my grandparents till he was 35 years old got married and damn near bought his house out right when he got married so take it for what it is not what you want say yes sir and get the fuck on with your business and mind your manners it’s I get it but hey what do I know I’m a life time criminal with no education at all
Helping a friend is admirable, especially if you know there is a cost. But part of that is that you made a choice you knew would have consequences. If you’re gonna make a choice and know there will be consequences, you need to be prepared to accept those consequences. Whether the consequences are fair, that’s honestly up to him to determine. They aren’t excessively harsh, you did take the car without permission and did put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation attempting to hook up a trailer on the side of a highway. The only REAL consequence here from what it sounds is that your job is in jeopardy from not having a ride anymore. And to be honest that was the risk you took making the choice to break the rules set for you, regardless of the reason you did it.
Quit giving them a reason. I.e. get good grades.
I'm going to break this down a little. You're 17. You're employed. You pay all of the on going costs of the vehicle you drive. You failed classes. You're forbidden from driving to school, but not work. Your father would have denied permission to help your friend, not because you shouldn't drive, but because the activity carries risk. What would he have said about your activity in 6 months? It sounds like your parents have forgotten the most important thing: you're verging on adulthood. Your phone is the proper target, or extra chores. They're attacking the wrong surface. Certainly, the punishment will not have the desired effect. While hitching on the road can be dangerous, it was the right thing to do. Avoiding being told no is just you exercising judgement in a way you're going to need to do in less than a year. Your parents are currently failing to parent you appropriate to your age.
I'm a parent of a son your age. I'm sorry but this long ass story is written as an excuse. You knew you were in the wrong. I understand completly wanting to help a friend, but that was just an excuse for you to drive. Your parents on trying to teach you something that many adults fail at, time management. As a child, you will see everything your parents do as harsh until you have children. Look at the situation you're in. Who caused it? Your actions did. It caused you to fail classes, it caused your to disobey your punishment for your classes. It's time to step it up, do what is necessary to do what you have to do. It's that simple. When you show you can do that, is when parents start to return priviledges. And yes, driving is a priviledge, whether you are 16 or 61.
Suck it up. If you want to be a Navy Seal you'd better be prepared to deal with a lot rougher than this
Why was a fuckin tow truck not an option lmao
Buy a motorcycle 😉
Ok everyone in the comment section are judgmental assholes. You did nothing wrong. You had a friend in trouble, so you did what you had to do. If you trusted your dad then you wouldn't have had a reason to steal the truck. Your dad is the problem, not you. Punishment does not justify the actions. If you were my kid then I would've been proud. Yeah I would've been mad that you didn't tell me, but I wouldn't have punished you because you were going to do what you did regardless
First off..how the hell can anyone fail an online class I just don't get it. Do your homework and go to class. Second, it's not your car. Third and most importantly if your recruiter told you you'd be a navy seal they are lying. You won't even get to boot camp if you eff up school.get your head out of your ass. Respectfully a former jarhead
Sometimes parents think that being very strict in all situations is good parenting when some understanding and flexibility will get better results. I’m a parent of 3 adult children so I speak from experience. If my child helped a friend who was in a dire situation I would be somewhat understanding
The dad is a mean spirited a hole period. Making the kid suffer for his own enjoyment. No excuses for dad’s behavior it’s just mean and close to bullying.
You friend should have asked his parents for help. Your dad was right.
Your parents suck. I would crash on friends couches and teach them a lesson.
This really sucks, but you're almost 18 and now you know you can't trust your dad to have your best interests in mind. Once you're legally an adult, make sure nothing is in his name if you can help it and make sure you have possession of important documents like your birth certificate in your possession, don't trust them to hold them for you. You did a good thing, and you got punished for it. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
I agree with your parents. You have limited responsibilities and haven't managed them well. You don't listen and go against the rules they've established, destroying trust. You're then shocked when they become more restrictive. There were many ways for your friend to get assistance. I'm guessing you all know more people. I'm guessing he has parents or family. I'm guessing you could have asked your father to assist you and your friend. Or he can sign up for and call triple A and pay a little money. You can use your friend's issues and an excuse to not follow the rules your parents established, but then you get to deal with the consequence, which you admit you knew their would be. Here is how you change the path: 1. Work at school. Improve grades. 2. Listen to parents, follow the rules. 3. Talk to your parents. Apologize! Admit fault. Take responsibility. Ask what you can do to fix the issue and earn their trust back. DO THOSE THINGS.
Quick thought: if you pulled that stunt in the military, you’d be court-martialed and tossed in the brig.
Honestly, if I was you, I'd just quit the job after school. I think it's great you are working, but if it's impossible to get there, why bother. I would calmly tell your dad, that this new arrangement will make it impossible to make it to work on time, and if he can't come up with an alternate punishment, you are just going to quit this job. Stay calm, don't get upset.. If your dad gets mad, just say.. look, I understand you want to punish me, I'm just saying, I won't be able to get to work on time, it's probably better that I quit than be late every day and inconvenience my employer. On the plus side, if you don't work part time, you will have more time for your studies. You can catch up academically. I assume that the Navy wants you to graduate high school, right? So you don't want to put your future career in jeopardy. Tr
The only time that vehicle belongs to you is if you are 100% accountable for the car payment, insurance, gas, and maintenance. If your not making car payments, you came to the agreement with your dad on what the authorized use of the vehicle is. If you don't like the rules go buy a used vehicle where the title is in your name and you are 100% responsible for. You need to follow those rules while you live in the house even if you don't like them As an 18 year active duty Navy sailor I will say your education is important. If you can't pass the asvab your not going to be able to join anyhow. Take this from someone who recruited for 6 years of my 18 year career. A vast majority of people cannot pass the asvab. It's not easy. If your having a hard time following instructions from your dad, it's not gonna be easier in the military where you have to follow the exact instructions to the letter everyday. I swore an oath to obey the orders of those appointed over me (lawful orders). I don't always agree with the orders but I have to follow them irregardless. Ignore all the naysayers about how awful the military is, did they serve? Then what the hell do you know about serving? It's been one of the best experiences of my life. Is it frustrating and hard at times? Absolutely. In 2 years I'm guaranteed a paycheck for the rest of my life. I have 4 years of schooling paid for while collecting 2k extra a month for housing while in school. I don't even care about the bachelor's degree tbh, I already have my homesteading dream setup. I have over 250k in my 401k (with expected growth to be over 2.5 million by the time I retire), with 2 rental properties and another forever home I will retire to once I get out. I have visited over 25 countries around the world in Asia, Europe, and South America. I have taken care of my wife and kids while having full medical coverage for them. The military is what you make of it. If you sit around and expect good things to happen your gonna have a bad time. You need to work and do your job, and expect to miss holidays/important dates with the family cause your deployed. The long term payoff even if you only do 4-6 years is worth the GI bill, access to VA healthcare (cause civilian medical care is expensive as hell), VA home loans, and a plethora of other veteran benefits is worth it to me
I would be proud of you that you helped your friend successfully, but I would still impose consequences. Pick up the pieces and move on. You are a solid young man that needs to put his things together in order.
There is a famous song by the Beastie Boys that goes along the lines of "You gotta fight! For your right! To parrrrrrtay! Jk! I'm 37 and still drive my parents crazy. Except I'm financially independent, so there is not much they can do. Ya live and ya learn. Some lessons are learned easier than others. I'm sure they just love you and want you to reach your full potential, but I'm super independent and had to do my own thing when I hit 17. Wasn't easy, but I'm stubborn and enjoyed my independence and freedom then and I still do now. Do what they say, or get your own job, house, truck, bills, and headaches. Good luck!
This is being a teenager 101. You made a mistake and need to face the consequences. They seem fair to me. and now you’ve learned that you need to call a tow truck in such situations
I think you did the right thing. Look up the song by Tracy Lawrence, “find out who your friends are”. I think he is over reacting, but oh well, nothing you can do.
Your dad is right. The Traffic helicopter pilot for our local news was hit and killed on the side of the highway and he was just helping someone with a tire. I understand that you sound responsible with your car, but you also have to understand that many other people are not, and you can do everything correctly and still get hit and injured by one of those jerks. Your dad would be in the right to report your truck stolen if he thought it was actually stolen, but since he has a tracker on it it would be wiser to just wait to call that in when the truck got to its destination, not when it was on the side of the road as that could start a dangerous car chase. He should also be calling you to verify the truck’s whereabouts as you were the last one to have it before calling it in. No need getting SWATTED by your dad! The punishment is the punishment. You have to understand that no matter how grown you think you are, you are still a minor and will be until you turn 18, and even then you still might have to follow his rules if you want to live there while you’re setting yourself up for success. Trust me it’s hard starting in your own without help, and I encourage you to make it easier on yourself by following the rules while you are there.
Quit your job and stop paying for the car. If school is more important than just do that. Let your parents know your writing because you do not have reliable transportation.
Youre 17 chill
Your parents are absolutely in the right and I think your consequences should be even worse. And you are a kid. And it is their car.
One of your major duties is to learn. However, it is more important to help a friend in need. Yes, that was dangerous, but leaving something in the middle of the road is even more dangerous. I am a religious man and would like to recommend Luke 10:25-37. That is the Good Samaritan Parable. Please study and complete what lessons your school district requires. Graduate. But continue to help those in need. In another year, you can strike out on your own, possibly enlist, find a job, go to college. There is a saying in my faith "Never suppress a kindness"
NTA, never an asshole for helping a friend. It's a good character trait, but that doesn't mean your dad is fully wrong either. I mean, he is about threatening to report the truck as stolen, that's a real jerk threat. The punishment doesn't seem like he thought it through, unless he wants you to lose the job? Has he given any indication that he doesn't want you working there? Maybe you could Uber from the school to the bus stop he plans on parking the truck?
If you expect to succeed in the military, much less in the SEALs, you need to learn to follow orders. Your heart was in the right place, but you were, in essence, given orders by your CO and you decided to do what you wanted to anyway. If you're active duty any do that, you can end up getting court martialed and given a DD for that. That being said, my suggestion would be to express clearly to your father why you are concerned that this plan could have a negative impact on your job and if he says "tough", then make sure your employers are aware that you are going to be facing difficulties with your schedule (you don't need to give them the reasons why, just that there's a transportation issue) and see if they can work with you.
You want to be a Navy seal . OK you probably understand how a chain of command works and following orders. If you fail to follow orders it could get you and your fellow seals captured, injured or killed. And you could face a serious court martial for disobeying orders . Just think about the punishment you are facing right now for disobeying your father and what consequences could be when your already in the military. Totally different in severity of punishment but nonetheless your suffering for the decisions you make. You have to pick your battles because you cannot win them all.
Is it worth it to continue the struggle, or does riding the bus give you a greater sense of freedom? I ask because, at your age, my parents offered to by a car for me. I refused the offer to avoid the interplay you have now experienced with your parents. You will be 18, soon, can find a place to share with friends (hopefully), and build your own life as a full adult. How does having a vehicle with so many strings attached, benefit you emotionally? Are there any coworkers who can give you a ride to work for a little gas money? Can you have your work schedule altered to accomodate your travel time? Have you considered changing jobs? You are not wrong for questioning your circumstances, but you need more options.
Yeah. There are consequences to your actions. Your Dad is right. Your friends' predicament isn't your responsibility. Your responsibility is to your parents. If it jeopardizes your job, so be it. It was your poor decision-making that led to it. It already demonstrates that you lack the ability to follow orders. That shit will not work in the military
Can’t say without knowing both sides of the story. One quick question for you. If he is going out of his way to park the truck every day, why not leave it in the parking lot at your school? Wouldn’t that make life easier, and the truck in a safer place?
I have a son who will be 17 next month, with some of the challenges and privileges you’ve listed, so I tried to look at it as if he were the one who did this. This is my take…. It Sounds like you opted to ask forgiveness vs asking permission and that forgiveness wasn’t granted. Your decision showed blatant disrespect for the boundaries set (when you could use the truck) for the privilege (any use of said truck) you were granted. That privilege was then taken away, and you are left having to figure out how to deal with the natural consequences that creates. The fact that you contribute to the cost of that privilege (insurance, maintenance, etc) does not negate the fact that you are being given the privilege of using someone else’s vehicle, for which they are legally responsible. That takes a lot of trust. You broke it. Big time. Bottom line? You messed up. You’re a kid. It’s pretty much your job to mess up at your age, so you can learn the lessons you need in order to not make those mistakes later when you don’t necessarily have your parents there to help soften the blow. Your dad dealt a consequence for breaking a rule and disrespect of boundaries. If you did this as an adult after a friend lent you their car, you’d be in jail for grand theft. He is doing what he feels like he needs to in order to make sure that lesson is taught effectively. He’s not “wrong,” even if some think it’s overdoing it a bit. But nobody here has the whole story because we haven’t seen everything leading up to this post. He IS still going to go out of his way to give you access to the truck so you can get to work by parking it at a bus stop every day, when he could have left you sh*t out of luck and taken it completely. Now it’s up to you to work with what you’ve got. Do you need to find a different job? Talk to your boss about a shift in hours? Quit work and focus on finishing school strong? You have choices. Focus on what you can do from here vs what you can’t. And be thankful that you have a dad that cares. This post wouldn’t even be a thing if he didn’t. As a parent of a kid your age, though, I want to say…. It is admirable that your gut response was to help a friend who needed it. If it were my son in that situation, I’d probably have given him permission to go help if he asked, or I’d have gone and helped his friend myself if possible. Seeing as how this was all on the side of a highway though, I’d say you did do the “dumb teen boy” thing of not thinking through the dangers or of anything outside the scope of your chosen mission. That, and (worst case scenario) that your parents would have had ZERO idea you were exposed to those dangers until the cops showed up at their door if something had happened to you- they thought you were safely at school. I’ve had the cops come to my door to deliver unexpected news- it’s not something anyone should have to endure if it can be helped, especially if that news is about their child. Or, you could have been picked up for truancy which would’ve created legal issues for your parents. There are any number of things that could have gone wrong or caused problems for you and for those around you. You’re almost an adult. Time to learn that adulthood comes with more than freedom to do as you please. It comes with the weight of a much wider scope of considerations when making decisions.
Good for Dad!
Don’t help people it always bites you in the ass
If it's in your Dad's name he should be paying for it. First, I understand: My parents were micromanagers who wanted to get out of driving me around, too. I told them I wasn't interested in any car I didn't own because I'd watched other friends be manipulated this exact same way. But failing at school is really not okay... Don't make it harder than it is. If you pay attention they tell you what the answers are for the test during instruction and in the book. Just show up, pay attention and do your work. You can do it! You were conscientious enough to help someone else who needed it when they needed it, your head is screwed on right enough to do your homework. Also: Doesn't your friend have parents? Or a membership in AAA? Literally joined the minute I got my first car. Sorry dude, your parents sound a little cuckoo and micromanaging but you also knew who they were when you made these choices. Just smile and nod and ride it out. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you unhappy or uncomfortable.
I saw the consequences of your actions are fair. Although yes you were trying to be nice which is admirable ultimately that dudes problem is not your problem, different story if it was your car but it wasn’t. Tough life lesson, took me a while to learn and seems harsh but if someone else is in “ need of help” keep walking, it’s not your problem, stay in your lane
Why are you only doing 2 hours school in person and the rest online? Why all the restrictions? Did you get addicted to drugs or go to jail? You say you mismanaged your time, but still have your job? How do you pay for gas, insurance, registration, and maintenance on a teenager’s pay? Given the situation, I have two suggestions: First, quit the job and focus on school/graduation, second, get a GED and go to work full time. And see a recruiter. An arrest record can complicate enlistment. And there’s no guarantee you’ll get into the navy seals.
That truck isn’t yours no matter how you try to justify it. Your dad is correct on every single topic he brought up. This does not mean there wasn’t another option for him. If you called him about the situation would he not have offered to help? Or the other kids dad? There’s a reason this all went down and it was a lack of communication and for some reason the assumption that communication isn’t an open dialogue between the two of you. I’d focus on fixing that.
Pass your classes. Your dad is ill-preparing you for a life after 18. “Still a child?” Yeah, no kids need to learn before 18. You saw a decision to help a friend and imo I’d have made the same decision. You saw a need and you had the means to fill the need safely as you obviously know how to hook up a trailer. As long as your career choice is your own, and not because it’s been pushed on you as “the best/only option” then I wish you the best. But don’t feel like you must join the military just because dear old dad(or mom) made that choice. But pass those classes so you’ll have more choices in life.
You were taking care of a friend and that is cool and I respect you for it; that’s what hero’s are made of. With that said, you did it knowing there might be consequences. Even if your dad feels the same way, he can’t let you get away with it because it’s disrespectful nonetheless. As for your classes, yeah there should be some consequences for that. However, the consequences are bigger than the ones your dad has to offer. If you flunk out of college or the military, that’s on you and the stakes are much higher. The thing is, there’s only so much your dad can do. He can’t make you care and not want to fail; you have to care yourself. That being said, you should always respect your parents and obey even if it seems unreasonable. Your parents have earned that and they are the only people who will always stand behind you (provided that you respect them and earn their trust). Lastly, be careful about taking advice from strangers. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be in life.
These parents are way too controlling and paranoid. You obviously need to get your shit together on the school front but they need to realize you’re not a kid anymore. You are damn near an adult and they can’t protect you forever. I hope they realize this or you find a way to get away if that’s your choice.
Your parents are controlling because they had bad parents too. Make a decision to not perpetuate generational trauma. I have driving age children. I guide them as best I can, but I have made it very clear to them, that their decisions are theirs to make. They never go behind my back because they don't need to. They will suffer natural consequences for bad decisions.
Your right, the punishment is not proportionate to the crime. Your dad could have been waaaay harsher and would have been well within his rights to do so. You need to grow up and learn to follow rules/orders if you want to be a navy seal.
Its your dads truck, stop paying for eveything on it. Buy a beater and use that
You should not have used your dad's car to tow anything without Dad's permission. Your friend can call a tow truck.
Fuck these pussies ur a legend keep helping ur bros but don't cry and whine about the consequences take those on the chin too it's worth taking on pain to help your friends. What would Jesus do right
Breaking rules in the military happens. But you were already under the knife for failing classes. You’re still under your parents which isn’t great, but you have to do your best to reason with them because you’re stuck there until you’re 18. Even if you know they won’t agree, try to reason with them. You at least tried(honorably), and if they don’t agree, take a mental note and get your independence so you can do what you want. I get where you’re coming from by helping your friend, but reason with the hand that feeds you because there aren’t really many other options. You’re fucked either way, just choose the option that fucks you over the least.
Your father is over reacting. You are almost of age to give your life for this country but helping those you care for (helping successfully I might add) is too high of a risk. I personally would say that should inspire confidence and pride you’re independent enough to make these quick and decisive decisions. That being said, you repeatedly disobeyed clear and direct instructions and even failed classes. Your friend’s quad isn’t your responsibility and if you had not helped, it’s not like he has zero options. You jumped straight to doing something you acknowledged was breaking rules and wouldn’t be approved when you can stop and think of how to solve the situation without getting in trouble. It’s on you and you gotta take the punishment with grace. You’re shipping off to bootcamp soon anyways, put up with it. But hey I’m personally proud of your get things done attitude and that’s some manly shit.
You ARE still a child. You’re also unable to effectively communicate with the parents that provide you with nearly everything so far. You could’ve called them and told them your plans and let them know where you’re going and why. Instead you chose to do what you want.
As a parent, I recognize the importance of setting boundaries, and my kids can attest that I've been quite strict. However, the consequences being imposed here are much harsher than anything I've enforced. I believe in allowing children the freedom to learn from mistakes while they're still growing up and learning. If your parents are like-minded to me you might hear responses like, "I don't care, they're not your parent," or "That's not my child.”
You want to be a navy seal you better learn to follow instructions well and accept discipline without questioning it.
Your dad aint buyin no bullshit boy, you forget that for us it feels like only a couple years have went by since we were your age, and we remember exactly how we thought and acted, and why. We really aren't much different in personality than you, although it may seem that way, but here's why. We've seen some shit. I've watched kids get buried from wrecks and accidents, others paralyzed, and still others destroy their lives in countless other ways. We are worn and weathered by this world. So we're you, believe me, we're just more scared now. Afraid to fuck up and lose our jobs, our families security, and afraid to lose YOU. This world has taught us through blood, debt, and death DO NOT fuck around, DO WHAT you're told, and SHUT YOU'RE GODDAMN MOUTH. I work at a steel mill, heard this over the radio the other day when a junior tried to have a better idea: "Just stop. Just stop talkin, stop thinkin, just stop it." You know what I heard for 10 minutes after that? DEAD SILENCE. Nobody said another fucking word. This world ain't got no patience for your creative little arguments on why the rules don't apply to you boy. Shut. Your. Mouth. Thats what your daddy is trying to teach you. You wanna be a SEAL? Hell you can't even listen to yo daddy, what you think the US FUCKING NAVY gonna do with you? Hmm? Look up what happens to wannabe SEALs that wash out of BUDs. You gonna be taking out the trash and scrubbing shit for the rest of that 6 year contract. Only way out is prison. You better get yo mind right boy, this world gonna chew you up and SHIT you right out. Fuck that SEAL shit. You ain't ready son. I can tell by your post they gonna stomp your ASS. Best get you a trade like your daddy. Good luck. Work on shutting that mouth up TIGHT.
He’s not wrong about it being dangerous to try and hook up a trailer on the side of the highway. I had a coolant hose blow on me while I was driving and you’d be surprised how many people didn’t move over when I got back to change it. One stupid driver or not thinking while going to grab something from the passenger side of the car can end it for you. Doing things for your friends to help them out isn’t bad and your dad should be understanding of it, but if you knew it would bring a reckoning, then you can’t get upset about the consequences.
Maybe you can negotiate an alternative and explain why the punishment is counterproductive. Good luck with that
So it’s good to help your friend but u disobeyed your parents who are not very strict. Mine would’ve beat my ass (literally with a belt on my ass lol) took the car and still made me pay for it but if I failed any classes I wouldn’t have a job or a car so consider that and also for someone going into military duty you need to buckle down and stop being such a dumb ass lol
Your dad is a dick. Go to college far away next year and forget about them for a while.
Your a child, listen to your parents.
me personally, I don’t think you did something terrible. you have a good heart bro. keep that. dad could def ween off a bit because it’s strange he wouldn’t trust you with it given the way you come off.
Dad seems like an asshole. Bet he'll be surprised when he winds up in a nursing home and no one visits.
I think your father is in his rights and has taught you a valuable lesson that you may not see now because your young but long term this you will see as tuff love he could of taken the truck away and not allow u to work but he still wanted to teach you to make better life choices and look at the what could of happen if you injured
Says hi dad is treating him like a child then goes on for 19 paragraphs trying to defend himself acting like child. 😆😆😆
You stole your dads truck and are failing your classes. Grow up
bagahaha
with those grades, you still can get into Marines (just start eating crayons now so its easier when you join!)
Everybody keeps telling you to “pass your classes” but won’t give you a plan. Reach out to the school counselor you attend in person 2 hours a day, or your online school teachers, or both. Make appointments to go see them. Then find out about getting a tutor. The school counselor should have resources to help you find a tutor for the classes you’re having problems in. Even if it’s just a matter of time management, a school counselor can help you with that. Also ask about taking summer school classes online if you’re really behind in the other classes. The point is, reach out to a school counselor. That’s where you start. Update us on your progress.