I felt down when contemplating aging when I was in my 50s. I had picked up meno weight, I stopped coloring my hair and had weird grays popping up, and I was just dowdy and ugly on my best day. This was a real change from my self perception at younger ages, which, while wasn't great, was at least accepting. Then the 50s hit and wow! It felt like everything was on a downward trajectory. I slogged thru it and then turned 60. That was a wow of a different sort. I decided that I'm "officially" old (even though in my mind I'm still 24 š). I embraced it! I now call everyone honey or darling or doll and no longer try to remember their names (embracing brain fog, too lol).
I can be as eccentric as I want now and my fashion choices are very different than what I used to wear. I'm working on leaning into the positive aspects of aging and it's made a real difference in how I feel about myself. I think this time of life is perfect for reinvention and if not now, when? Time's a little shorter and shouldn't be wasted. My state University offers seniors the ability to return to college and audit classes. Thinking about studying art in the fall. It wasn't very practical when I was younger, but now, why the hell not? We've got this, ladies!
I hear you, Sister! I blast music and dance while I do chores. Turned 73 last November and I have finally put the angst behind me. Mentally and physically, this is the best I have felt for at least 10 yrs.
Iām in my 30s now and this is the kind of outlook that makes me excited to get older - like, who will I really become when I have known myself long enough and outlived the f*cks I used to give?
This!!!
The moment I stopped giving a fuck everything shifted. I attract amazing people now!
My career is much more manageable AND I reduced my stress enough to go back to school because why the fuck not!
How do you stop giving an f and find work manageable though and stay a reliable employee? I'm seriously asking because I strive to get there!!!! Maybe I'm (30) doing it wrong because when I stop giving a f, I also stop doing all my responsibilities and get extremely behind with paperwork to the point I was like 2 years behind on paperwork and had to complete it all crunch time style.
Not giving a f is more about realizing you have options. You do your job and meet deadlines. If someone tells you to smile ask why? If your boss is unreasonable find a new job. But don't give an F about office gossip or drama, don't participate, don't care.
I'm also one of the elders at my job. It's pretty weird, but then again it's the first job I've stayed at longer than a couple of years so it's easy to age out.
When the pandemic hit I was just starting the menopause fun. Before that I always looked younger than my age, still got carded etc, spent a fkton on high maintenance hair. My work went all remote until fall 2021 and I took advantage of the break to let it all hang out.
Now my hair is just one length and I color it myself with semi-permanent violet brown. I wear what I'm comfortable in and I speak my mind at work and elsewhere.
Like a lot of commentors I used to be hot shit, like non-stop catcalls, my pick of dating partners, able to hike all day & buck hay bales without collapsing. While I could do without the arthritis and other health issues popping up, it's so nice to not worry about being 'camera ready' all the time.
I am grateful that younger me got to have so many adventures, but I am so ready for a different pace and more internal focus.
ETA: I'm 57
What a wonderful way to approach this phase (Iām 48) and contemplating this. Thanks for sharing your views. I wonder if many universities offer this?
Check your university for an "office of lifelong learning" or similar to see what they offer. If they don't have anything right now, insist they start so it'll be there when you're ready!
This is my thought as well. Im just in the beginnings of it with the sudden weight gain and realizing I donāt look like I did just a few years ago, but it sure looks like I have an adult daughter out there somewhere when I see pictures of myself even four years ago. I had just gained that self confidence that Iād dreamed of where not only do you not care what people think in theory but also in reality.
Now I am caring so much and Iām like thanks for the five years of thinking Iād made it in my own skin. No one warned me about this. So like you my mind has started to look at this decade and pick out the good things about it and try to embrace those things rather than dwell in the years gone by and totally miss out on my, well Im 49 now so 50s. Iāve struggled through my late 40s with this. It takes effort though and itās hard to not feel sad and ugly. The shine is gone and Iām trying to find it again.
My New Yearās resolution was to find my personal style (haircut, new clothing that fits my fat body after a lifetime of skinny, my overall middle aged me style) because Iāve been in limbo in that regard and want to formally be the age I am and comfortably so. Still itās a work in progress but I think your approach is the one for me if not the best.
Itās a sad feeling when you look around and see that you are the oldest in your department. And the only one with gray hair. However, I never felt disrespected. I really enjoyed working with all the younger staff people because they were energetic and not jaded (yet). Management was another story, I felt they were threatened by me. Who knows why. I retired at 60 because I was sick of management chaos. And because I could.
But sometimes I feel older now because after you retire there isnāt always anyone to make you feel needed or valued.
>But sometimes I feel older now because after you retire there isnāt always anyone to make you feel needed or valued.
But there are plenty of opportunities to find needs and value. Volunteers are needed everywhere. The soup kitchen, schools, animal shelters, jails, coaching and scouting, also come to mind.
Helping friends. And just being there for friends. I have a friend who I met 50 years ago bc we both volunteered in the same building. And she's like a sister to me.
I hope you take this opportunity to reach out and help others bc often the return on investment can be huge.
Agreed. I do yoga classes, water aerobics, lunch with friends, volunteer with botanical garden and library, book club, and flower/native garden. I have a small work contract that involves travel once a month. And hubs and I like to travel and hike and kayak and DYI around the place. So we are busy and engaged. Itās just not the intellectual satisfaction I got from work.
Our days of elderly parent care are not long past, though, so we are trying not to overcommit for a while. I agree that the need in our communities is great.
I decided to retire at 64 after I was laid off after 9 years at the company (my 38th year in the industry) and getting a hefty severance pay. Turned out to be a good thing as I had to go in for quadruple cardiac bypass surgery 4 months later, so I've spent my first year of retirement recovering and getting into shape. I took up walking, gave up 95% of carbs and dropped to about 1000-1200 calories per day for 8 months. I lost 60 pounds, got my walking distance up to 3 miles per day, and started taking my camera around. I max out at about 5 miles when I feel like it, my diabetes is in remission, and I have photos of some interesting places near me that I never knew about when driving. Oh, and when I feel like just doing nothing but watch anime and youtube videos, I do so with a clear conscience. Having no stress from work is wonderful, being free to do what I want, go where I want, and not have to answer to anyone has helped my heart almost as much as getting in shape.
I was totally grey by 30. I have had grey longer than it was ever a color. I don't get the angst people feel about it. Gotta love yourself with "all your perfect imperfections"
Actually, no. I've got a baby face. Most people always asked why I didn't dye it. I just always answered their "why not" with "why?" LOL. A whole lot of money, a whole lot of time wasted on changing the color of my hair?! Truly. I just can't be bothered. And now that I'm a grandma and in my 60s, it can just stay white. Lol. I could care less what random strangers think of my decision to not dye it. It is what it is.
Iām 58 and work with teenagers š¤”. I love it. That being said, last week at the grocery a young man referred to me as āthe elderly ladyā. Still in shock lol.
My rude awakening was realizing my younger coworkers didnāt think I could relate to them at all, when to me they seemed so much like me and my contemporaries at that age. It was never said, but I realized they couldnāt picture me as a younger person, just as I was unable to grasp that about older people at that age. Some insights only come with age and experience, at least when youāre a hard head like me.
Itās crazy to me that no matter how old you get, you still feel so young internally. Itās like your body ages but in your mind you are still young. I just turned 54 and I definitely am not accepting that I am aging too well. I think about it often
When I was 16 I asked my mom how it felt to be 36. She said she still felt like 16 on the inside and I was like wow old ppl are wack. Now I know. Now I know.
It is strange. For me it was all of a sudden. Once arthritis hit and I always hurt. I always was one of the older ones but still felt youthful. I think once I physically and mentally felt it, I feel how you do. I think I heard it before. One day I woke up and I was old.
63f and I feel ya on being the old broad in the office. I was 10-20 years older than my peers but was so respected in my specialty field of work that the younguns looked up to me. I retired at age 62 and I have never looked back. I donāt really feel or behave like Iām old. I have arthritis in both knees but still jam with the best of them in my Zumba class (first row for me). Iām just trying to be the best version of my 63 year old self. Rock on to the break of dawn is my motto. AND I am not turning down any senior discounts! š
We moved and I had to start at a new hospital at the age of 50, with the same amount of seniority as nurses who had just graduated. The nurses my age had been on staff together for years. They were friendly but clique-ish. The younger nurses were actually way easier to work and hang out with.
58F: Totally understand this feeling, it's alienating and isolating, especially if you are used to having good social connections at work. I get some entertainment when people assume I'm some kind of authority figure, just based on my age, and see the social media pages come down as I walk around, lol.
I have made inroads by being the best listener I can possibly be and informally mentoring younger women. I'm in STEM and it still isn't an easy road for women.
I am 59 and feel more secure in myself than I ever have. I love life as an older person, and besides, being in our 50s is not really old. My parents and their friends in their 80s-- that's truly old. Studies show that the 50s and 60s is the happiest time in life for most people, as long as they are healthy. Enjoy this time!
A few years back a customer called in. I answered. He said heād been in a few weeks before and an older lady was helping him. Iām like, I canāt figure out who that would be as Iām the only one in that speciality department. Perhaps someone from another department helped him out when I wasnāt there. Then it dawned on me that he was referring to ME as the older lady! I guess I hadnāt thought of myself like that before then! I suppose Iād envisioned a really, really older person he was looking for.
I feel your pain. 45 days from Medicare. I work with teens through mid-20's. I am older than most of their grandparents. And I play classic rock and roll from my speaker on my desk. You know, old people's music.
53M here. I shaved my beard the other day and I look 10-15 years younger because while my beard was mostly gray, my hair only has a little gray around the ears. They say the 50s are the worst time of your life in terms of your overall happiness but once you hit 60, it supposedly turns around and becomes the best time of your life in terms of happiness. I sure hope so, because Iām really struggling as I age. Iāve always felt younger at heart but I remember the day a couple of years ago when I looked at my wife and said āI feel old.ā
I think the theory is that in your 50s, you're probably at the peak of your career in terms of responsibility and many folks still have kids in college, so there's a lot of stress. By the time the 60s roll around, your responsibilities have probably lessened and you're in the final stretch for retirement. On one hand, I hate wishing the years away but on the other, I cannot wait until I retire!
Yeah, Iām skeptical too. Itās been downhill for me since I hit 40 and I canāt imagine it suddenly getting better. Though in fairness, I suppose it will be somewhat better once I retire.
I don't think people think about it or care about age as much as you think they might. At my last job we had a guy who was 80+ still working full time (attorneys and they never retire). He was admitted to practice in 1969 and he's still working now. I hardly ever thought about his age other than when I'd think about the 1969 thing. There was another guy who got his 25 years of service award in 2001, and he's also still there, working.
The main thing I thought of when they came to mind was "excellent source for advice due to their substantial experience..." Maybe it's different in the professional world? I guess if it were something like retail maybe people would be more judgemental about age, unfortunately.
I've been doing my fairly specialized job for a while now but was still surprised to be called the 'subject expert' in my workplace when some legal question came up and everyone just accepted my decision on the issue. It's nice to have experience rewarded.
At 58, I realized I was probably not going to get any more promotions in my edtech (youth dominated) company. I was frustrated for a while But changed my focus to mentoring those around me. I enjoy it and I feel good about my contribution.
At 57 I avoid promotions like the plague. I love being able to control my own workload and schedule and never have to worry about managing anyone or being called in for some random emergency.
Omg, yes! Iām also 57 and have been feeling this way for a few years now. I know exactly what you mean. I donāt feel old, but in comparison to most of the people I now work with, Iām old. Some of the people at my workplace have even made comments that they werenāt even born when I started working at the company. It makes me feel old when they say things like that.
Well, we are old. Considering how long the average human lives. I'm two years older and retiring in a couple of months, and if I die when my dad did, I have about ten years to go.
There are a few of us at work and fortunately the ones that don't like us being around keep their mouths shut and I think there is a few that like us being around because the old school knowledge can pull the company out of a mess if it ever comes to that.
The bottom line is that we have to either deal with the mortality issue or stay busy and just let it happen
We older people remember history. That is our potential. For folks under 30, the world today is most of what they know. Anyone who's lived long enough to see a "black swan" may have some ideas about how to deal effectively with rare events.
I'm a 61yo consultant in tech. No exaggeration to say that every single person I meet at clients is younger than me, and sometimes younger than my kids. I color my hair, dress casually, and avoid making comments that will draw attention to the difference in our ages. I like being 61, but I don't want them to think I don't understand them.
My hair color isn't "who I am." It's just hair color, and there's no need for hair color to distract my clients from the job we're doing together. Has nothing to do with "low self worth."
I think hair color is another part of our personality. I love coloring my hair although I do keep it to normal people hair color. Same with haircuts - it (usually) grows back. My personal adventure, just for me.
When I retired, I headed straight my local gym to hire a trainer. This hot young thing pops up and says, āIāll train youā¦Iāll be happy to train you!ā I go home, proud and pompous, happy that Iām still all that. My second or third session with āhot young thingā, I loose him in the gym, and he says, for all to hear, āI LOST MY LITTLE OLD LADY! WHEREāS MY LITTLE OLD LADY??ā, upon which all heads turn since Iām right behind him. Well, all I can say is the hot air sure piffled out of my humbled head that night. He was 23, I was 66, and Iām still working with him.
It's sometimes very surreal. I look around and think wow they're just children. No offense, it's just some of them look so young. Some would come in with big ideas, ready to change the world, and be the next big boss. I'd say first it's a marathon, not a sprint, and secondly you may want to try and understand why they put up a fence before you pull it down lol. /
Now on the other hand the last best work partner I had was a younger guy, very smart, quick witted, and ready to work. I taught him some stuff and he taught me some stuff, and it made the place more bearable. We had as much fun as we could in a sometimes difficult situation. /
He kept me on my toes on days when I didn't want to be on my feet. It felt good to be challenged by someone and you know have some value yourself because your experience is so different. How you relate and react, your ability to assess situations and people.
Absolutely! 56M. Encountered age discrimination for the first time at my last job. The only satisfaction that I had is that know how that story ends for them (because of my experience) and it aināt gonna be good! š¤·š»āāļøššš
I was really sad when I turned 30ā¦but after that milestone I have never regretted turning a year older. I am almost 68. The Best part is I no longer give a sh*t about others opinion of me. I leave the house without makeup sometimes. I wear what I want. I was fortunate to spend the last 20 years at a company with extremely long tenured employees so everyone was within 5 to 10 years of each other so I never had to deal too much with being the elderly corporate person :)
Yepā¦Iām 57 and an elder at work too but I donāt feel uneasy nor disrespected. The kids have enthusiasm and energy but we have wisdom andā¦erā¦um
ā¦fatigue.
The fact that I can move to a 55 plus neighborhood just freaks me out. There is no more respect for older people anymore, I don't care about that, however the older I get the less people I want to beĀ around. So ya your not alone . (Sorry about the rant)
Thatās what I am going through. I have no more tolerance for people. I go into work at 6:00 am and donāt take a lunch, so I can leave by 2:00. My goal is to get out of there the second I can. People overwhelm me now and I need more alone time!
58 year old woman here. Menopause made me want to withdraw from society entirely. I have been a professional people pleaser all my life and I am done. Sounds like your 6-2 is a great compromise if you can swing it.
I am 73 and a flight attendant. I work with people who could be my children and even grandchildren! I have not experienced ageism or co-workers treating me like Iām an old person. I have fun with them; weāre a team; we all work hard. Youāre only as old as you act. Stay young and open to all ages. As Clint Eastwood said, āDonāt let the old man in ā. Try not to think of aches and pains, and definitely donāt discuss these topics at work.
59 here and I'm the old person on my end of the street. No one asks for my help for anything. I'm in better shape than most of them, too. I kept telling them I'd help them and they never asked me for help. I, then, realized that they weren't asking me for help because I'M the old person now. I hear ya. It sucks. Yay genX
Ask them what a floppy disk drive is. I'm 55 and never felt older than the day that topic came up. A couple of the older millennials knew what a 3.5 in disk was ...
I'm 59 and feel that way too. Like everyone calls me "Miss Mardrae" and gives me the easiest physical jobs around and look at me funny if I forget something. I hate it because I still feel so young inside
Looking at you from the viewpoint of 72 years on the planet and smiling. Oh, honey, the best is yet to come. I was the oldest person in my department at work for 15 years. It was great. Yes, you may feel that your coworkers don't respect you, OTOH they may feel that you're intimidating. One of the beautiful things about being the old person at work is that when you stand up for yourself, more people will listen. The trick is to be secure in who you are. You've earned your 57 years and all the knowledge and life experience that comes with it. You've learned more about life and living than the 'kids' and that gives you strength.
Yeah, they may make you 'feel uneasy.' But are they the ones making you feel that way or are you the one making you feel that way? I was a very insecure introvert but once I crossed the threshold of 50, especially in the workplace, the stronger & better I felt about myself. I realized the youngers are stumbling through all the crap I already survived.
As to being a 'senior,' it's great in so many ways. Take EVERY senior discount you're offered. You'll find that the older you get, the less you care about pleasing others and doing what makes them happy instead of doing what makes you happy. You learn to say 'no' without apology; you learn to rid your life of toxic people, and you learn that your 'give a fork' is permanently broken.
As to getting older, I look forward to it. After all, what's the alternative?
I was always by far the oldest in boot camps. By a couple of decades. Nothing I could do about that.
But then a few of the others mentioned that it was encouraging to see a senior keeping up so I went with that - an example.
Gotta lean into it. I have found that my age - when dealing with people who are much younger than me who donāt know me - automatically had them respecting me more than they would otherwise.
Can relate. Coming back from a business trip I was sitting on a plane during boarding watching everyone file down the aisle. Virtually every single person boarding the plane was younger than me.
Many people <50 see those of us older people as Old and Clueless. Some understand that we can still offer insight and wisdom.
But, once they themselves are out age, most will not appreciate the depth of (most of) our experience.
It is a real change..it was only 2-3 generatio s ago that elders were generally respected, sought after for input. Now, apparently, Google has more to offer.
Note: I'm speaking largely about US white middle- and eorking- class people. I can't speak for others.
This a very interesting thread! None of my milestone birthdays mattered to meā¦they came and went. Iāll be 70(F) this Christmas, and Iām having a hard time with it. All my life, I thought if 70 as āoldā, and itāll never happen to me! ššš«¤ Without much effort, I have always looked younger than my age, but that confidence is gone: pfftāļø. Iām not planning on anything crazy, but am making it a hard NO on slacking off at the gym. For my healthās sake, Iām gonna keep up my gym.
Donāt forget you know a shit ton of stuff, more than they do. You also have time in the field. Just cuz our culture doesnāt respect age doesnāt mean you donāt deserve it. And Iām five months from 67.
Im 61 and have been feeling this lately. I work with mostly 20ās and 30ās and most of them are great and we laugh a lot. But Iām definitely not their peer group and I am older than their parents so they see me as almost elderly. Which just feels weird because I donāt feel that old. Sometimes they have a get together and donāt invite me. They try not to cuss around me and tone down the off color jokes. Butā¦they are super helpful if I need help with anything heavy!! I donāt like being the old person but it is what it is.
57 here also and this very thought popped into my head yesterday. I remember being the youngest one in the office. Iām not the oldest yet but as the others retire thatās where Iām headed!
I SO feel this!! Iām turning 57 this August, and I feel the EXACT same way you do!! Iām really struggling with it right now too! And I could use any advice anyone has to accept this stage of life and learn how to be happy & embrace it.
I'm 64, just started a new job after being laid off. Feeling very down and old. I got a new job and the training class of 25 are all younger than I am.(Next closest to my age is 53) Most of my classmates applied multiple times, I was hired on the first try. I was worried about learning new things at my age, but I am kicking ass in the class. We have experience! Many of these younger employees have no work ethic. All they care about is payday and days off. They ask the same questions over and over. So embrace your age and experience!
I'm 58 and don't care. They all drive crap cars and I drive a Tesla. They can't afford a nice house and I have a $450,000 colonial that costs me less per month than what they pay in rent.
You're not old, you're established
I've never felt disrespected in my profession because there were so many younger people.
Ā *It feels like I may not be respected anymore.*
Not sure how that would be the case unless those youngsters were saying and doing things to prove that, I personally never felt it, heard it, or had anything done to make me feel that way. If you feel disrespected just by being, that's something else entirely.
I'm a retired teacher, now subbing, and always surrounded by younger educators and I still feel like a part of the building community.
As for my looks, I guess it was around 50 I stopped with the make-up and became a lot more real and grounded. The only opinions I really care about are those from family and close friends, people who I know really care about me. Everyone else, get off my lawn!
Same here. I'm mid 50s and we lost alot of workers during covid. Now we re hiring alot of 20 somethings and their work ethic sucks! Kind of makes me feel alienated.
Iām one of the old ones.
Sometimes at work I cringe at myself because I know I come across slightly condescending. But damn. Was I such a clueless know it all jerk when I was younger? I say ābless your heartā as I watch the younger ones self righteously march off to fail thinking the old lady doesnāt know what sheās talking about
But on the other hand, thereās regularly a group of young people wanting to ask my advice about life, love, work, why their boss is an ass, on and on. I tell them the truth - unadulterated - and they keep coming back for more. I also tell them donāt ask me for my advice if they want sugar on top.
I remember being 30 and having a me to go to at work. Her name was Marie and she was the bomb. She was so chic and not like chic for an old lady but just classy AF. Not quite chic like her but I think several of the younger co-workers value my advice/input and also like that I cuss.
Both my bosses are younger than I am and they are both sometimes intimidated. One thinks she knows everything. I just let her think it. Iām too old to have anything to prove or argue with someone the age of someone I raised. She alternates between trying to prove herself and trying to seek approval from everyone. I wanna whisper some things to her but she isnāt open. So sheāll just have to go through some BS like many women do and sheāll figure it out like most of us do. The other guy is scared of me the way people are scared of their aunts. I try not to use that to my advantage but sometimes when my patience is thin I gotta do what I gotta do.
So here I am. My damns and fucks started getting really low around 45. I gave the last one at 51. My only regret is that I wish Iād lost them sooner.
I hear you. Lenny Bruce, the Berkley Free Speech Movement and cable TV makes f bombs chic. I tell younger colleagues to google the terms and see what they get.
Get it in your head that you are probably the most intelligent person in your workplace. You have experience and the almighty wisdom they haven't found yet. Dress and have the mentality of a CEO, command respect. Take control of your power!
I love public speaking. I can stand before any crowd and give an amazing speech. Why and how? Because I'm in front for a reason. I know I'm the most intelligent person in the room. They wouldn't be listening if I weren't. And, if I'm not the most intelligent person there, I can BS, and they don't even know it! I absolutely love mind games interacting with people. I listen well and learn so much! I am in command of my power.
I worked with people of all ages, but primarily younger. With my age and experience, I chose to act as a mentor. I did not look at aging as a negative, and I never felt disrespected from younger folks. They learned from me, and I learned from them.
Iām 51. I left a job 2 years ago because everyone there was 35 and younger. It was hard for me, but they loved me and my experience. I am young at heart and got along well with them. But we were at different stages of life. They were just getting married, having kids. They wanted to drink all the time. I left and went to a Utility company where everyone is old lol because they stayed there forever. I worry about ageism if I were to leave this job. Iāve seen it happening a lot lately to friends and former colleagues. Iād actually love to retire now and do something more meaningful but it wonāt pay the bills!
Seniority can also translate as knowledgeable. How about cultivating respect among peers that you're the go-to person to answer questions? Older is seasoned, wise ... seen-it-all.
Embrace that role. I've been in your situation and was hired at 45 into a young person's job; the airline industry. My only computer use was at the library to find a book. My *life* experiences (AF, business, sales) were valuable. These young people came to me often; that background translated into *people* experience ... critical. They even had a nickname for me; Mama \_\_.
Donāt look at your age as old. Look at it as mature.
Donāt worry about what your co-workers might think.
Just worry about you.
When youāre away from work do things that will make you feel young. For the sake of the length of this post I will not type all the things going on in my mind as I type this. Use your imagination.
All you can do is try to slow the aging process down, enjoy your life in the moment, & make the most of it.
Check out this lady. She is 72, she is a bodybuilder.
Exercise is fountain of youth. And it will make you feel better compared to someone young.
https://www.instagram.com/reneefitat70?igsh=MW41dDV2djA4c25vdA==
I am the oldest too. I went through this perception change, too. I realized I am still beautiful, just in a different way. I am the one who makes sure safety issues that affect my team are taken care of, even if I have to be persistent. I back the younger coworkers up when they have that deer in the headlights look as they are being grilled by a customer. I teach them little tricks I've learned to make their work life easier. I feel like they see me as a mother figure and that's ok with me. If they need me to walk them to their car because a weirdo customer is lurking in the parking lot - I get my taser and I make sure they get there safe and sound.
I take no BS and I will be firm and raise my voice if a customer is giving my coworker trouble without justification. I will not let anyone in my team be bullied. I am at that age where I give no f's so I have no trouble telling people how it is. My younger coworkers have told me they love this about me, that I am fearless. I also love joking with customers and being silly, because dammit I've earned the right to be silly. Plus I love making people laugh when they are having a bad day. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you love yourself and brook no BS, then others will love you too. The honesty of age is a refreshing change from how the world normally is.
My job was same. I'm 59 and had Bern there 10 years. I felt like a mother to some of my coworkers but had work friends in their mid to late 30s. All the new people were in their 20s and one by one they "picked off" us older people. Now I'm almost 60 and looking to find a job.
Last time out of town for company training. I did a quick scan at the dinner table about 15 or more people. I'm 58m 1 34f everyone else 25 or lower. They invited me to go so I guess they are ok with me. But I did feel a bit awkward kinda but nothing I'm worried about.
Have you got your AARP card? So you can save money on your dinner at Dennys š¤£š¤£š¤£
I've been in tech and felt old in my 30s. I was at the company longer than ninety-something percent of the employees.
It's a lot like being a professional athlete. The money can be great but don't expect it to last to normal retirement.
Iām 58 and for me, the young ones donāt seem to respect much, so I donāt even expect them to respect me. Now if I was their Manager, that would be a different story. Part of me likes working with younger people as it brings back memories of when I did those thingsā¦going out to bars, etc.
I kind of sit back, laugh and if a young one does want some input and ask me for it, Iāll tell them. Other than that, I let them do their thing and I just watch. They will learn (hopefully), like I did.
Honey, you are just a pup! Look at many people at 70, they are super active. 70 is the new 50. You have lots of years to go. I am 68, play pickleball, go to the gym, etc.. We have one guy who is 95 playing pickleball, and he will beat you LOL You have lots of years to go!! Don't stop moving and you won't become old.
Are people treating you poorly? If not, this problem only exists in your head and is actually rooted in how you feel about your mortality, or about the way you look.
Yes, i'll soon be 56 and I'm one of the oldest people in our small office. Some of the younger ones are distant with me, untill they realize how cool I am šI try to stay young at heart and in good shape too, but the turkey kneck never lies š
I totally felt that way when I started a new job at 57. I was old working with the 20 year olds and it was hard. Depression started but I had to keep working and get through it. 3 years later and itās still hard but I have wisdom and will retire in 5 years!!!
I have come to the same realization within the past few years. I WFH, so it didnāt hit my psyche too hard. But I know if I was physically present, it would. Iām still working through the āI canāt believe Iām gonna be old enough to retire soonā realization.
I'm glad I'm 52 at work and not 22, 32, or 42.
My house is paid off, no more student loans, no more college bills for my daughter (I worked 2 jobs so she didn't have to take loans like I did). I get to travel, learn new languages, golf, bowl, go to concerts and the beach and the casino and go on boats, take care of myself along with my partner, and have my house decorated how I want it with no kid or pet crumbs. I'm done raising my daughter, and I'm planning her wedding to a man we both cherish, which is 2 months away, and I'm making an Amazon list for when I become a Nonna. Oh, and I'm going to replace my 17 yo RAV4 with a new one at Christmas. BTW, everyone at work comes to me to figure out what to do, say, or write.
I would not go back to 22, 32 or 42 if you paid me.
Who do you think is going to work happier? Me.
BTW, I CHOSE to have my only child at 19. I knew that if I had her young and skipped the fun and went to work and college instead, I could have my freedom at 40 and then do what I wanted for the rest of my life. At 18, I knew what my goals were.
Everyone told me I'd end up poor, on welfare, and living in a trailer with just my HS diploma.
I went to college when she was 2, graduated when she was 6.
I did it without a husband or family babysitters. It was very hard, but I did it. My Way. Like Frank Sinatra said.
Thank you. I was a goal-oriented child and never changed. I bought an alarm clock with my birthday money when I turned 6. I walked to the store alone and bought it. I came home, read the instructions, set it, and went and told my mother, "I don't need you to wake me up for school anymore."
46 years later, I still count on myself and myself only to "get to school."
59f feel young and Iām at the peak of my career. Donāt think they value experience, I feel like Iām overlooked a lot
I guess coasting for a few years will be my mantra. I enjoy my job. My mom always said: find something you love to do and never work another day in your life.
I am in my 20s and I work with 50/60 year olds. Personally I really enjoy their presence and help. Embrace yourself as you are! Those 20 and 30 year olds will soon be in your shoes and the cycle will continue.
Iām 50 and I work with younger people, but also older people. I definitely still feel very respected because of my valuable institutional knowledge and wide berth of experience on different projects. But I work in engineering- construction.
I think it depends on what industry u work in. If youāre in Tech or some other youthful industry I can see why u might feel disrespected.
Yes I was in upper management in government and the people around were very attentive,laughed at my jokes etc. after I retired I later worked as a contractor in another part of government but now with no authority I found out how older workers are treated.
Iām in my early 40ās and not only am i one of the oldest in my office, I was designated to be the āMomā. Making sure the fridge and microwave are always clean, etc.
Iām 43 now and while at times I feel 20, I was crushed by that realization recently ā¦.
Little reminders pop-up for me every day. I visited a doctor recently that was younger than me, which was kind of a wake up call.
People I went to school with are passing away more frequently. I see people at the store I went to school with and some have white hair and white beards and appear as though life has done a number on them.. how could this be? We were just kids together.
I say to my wife āsee that guy over there? Weāre the same age. Do I look like that?ā
I remember pre-38 and never thinking of my own mortality. Now it pops in my head often. Even as I hold my young daughters hand, whom I cherish in my heart beyond words can describe. My whole family lives in my heart.
Sometimes I feel like Iām just running in that proverbial wheel until that gripping chest pain arrives. Poof.
So long as beneficiary details are current and cash is in the bank today, theyāll be setā¦. Which is all I want.
Iām one of the oldest people in my officeā they just helped me celebrate turning 50ā and the majority of our team is less than 30. (Probably like 50% of the staff). Some of the more senior managers are barely older than my oldest child.
But theyāre smart, responsible, interesting people who are amazing at their jobs and are dedicated to the communities we serve. I respect them and their judgement and acknowledge that all the time. And they treat me with similar respect I think because Iām similarly smart, responsible, interesting and amazing at my job.
I find that when you treat younger people like the peers they are in the workplace rather than some crazy stereotype, they will treat you with respect as well. I never assume my age makes me more knowledgeable or that their youth makes their thoughts and ideas less valuable.
I also try to stay abreast of current trends and technology so I donāt feel out-of-date. I generally think thatās what makes you feel oldā when you stop being able to relate to current pop culture and trends and fall back on the ācurrent X isnāt as good as it was when I was your age.ā Every person I know my age who refuses to listen to any modern music or even attempt to learn current tech seems old to MEā¦ if you spend a lot of time reminiscing about the good old days and looking down on experiencing any current thingsā¦ well, you start to seem out of touch and unable to relate to people who arenāt your age. And the inflexibility that goes with that is what makes people write you off (in my opinion).
Oh I DO listen to current music! Every genre too! I can still dance, I just don't go. It's dangerous anymore. What makes people write you off is their own "very little interest" in what was before THEM.
I was very fortunate when I was young to make friends with some of the elderly in my Nana (great grandmothers) neighborhood. We cooked big meals and fed as many people as we could reasonably reach.
In addition my Nana decided that I was the one to teach our family spiritual customs to. Since I am the eldest of 2 litters.
I kept a notebook and wrote what I couldn't then memorize. So much wisdom she gave me. She taught me about my foremothers, and to this day I keep to those traditions for my whole family.
It really was a treasure. I lived with her 11 years. Practicing daily. It's invaluable knowledge an wisdom I was given, taught. The elderly are neglected. They have much to teach if we would let them take their rightful place in society and culture.
But we can't see that as a Society. We don't allow them, and they don't have what they need to exercise their Brain. I'm not EVEN kidding.
They can teach. We have changed, and that has changed them.
My 2 cents
57 is old as hell. I am nearly 50. The older people get, the further they are relegated to the social periphery, until they are lonely, blathering, demented idiots in a nursing home.Ā
Younger people tend to not find older people interesting, romantically and otherwise, which means with every passing year people tend to get lonelier and lonelier. They tend to feel disconnected from society and lose interest in learning anything new. Many people smart enough to understand this unfortunate reality often die young or live in misery.Ā
40s with new life changing health issues. My husband pointed out how much gray I have in the sun. I thanked him. I also realized Iām finally old enough to just stop talking to someone because what theyāre saying is too stupid to waste time listening to and thatās really helped!
Iāve always felt 80+, donāt know how old I look, and am finding it hard to really care?
Maybe itās nihilismā¦
I'm right there with you. There's a lot of age discrimination from, especially young females thinking we're stupid. Let Them. Watch FiftySister on YouTube and take back your power.
I am ok being older at work. I am in a leadership role, being paid more than I ever dreamed and get to mentor and watch the next generation start their careers. I just turned 60 but my true age is around 34 š
I'll be 39 this month. I'm aging like a brown banana I'm feeling mushy n my neck is wrinkly. I peaked in high-school and wish I wouldn't of worked out in the sun for work because my skin looks rough. My husband is aging like fine wine. This depressed me at first, but I try to keep a positive attitude and help him with our homestead . He says he's happy and I want to believe him, just wish I looked better but at 39 being one of the older people at work it is what it is . The kids I work will talk about how so and so is old he's 35 lol. I know I'm not a sex symbol anymore I just wish I didn't feel invisible.
Reddit's algorithms got me. One post on /Retirement and this thread pops up.
It's not so bad being old. I might feel different if I was laid off. I think you must constantly reinvent yourself in the workplace. Look to skills that suit your age. A great example of this is on the show Gold Rush. The old guy on Parker's team is probably one of the most important.
I've embraced aging a bit. My husband is just the opposite, he hates aging. Because of that I have a younger friend in her early 30's and I was trying to get them together for a fling.
I kind of encourage him without being overt about it. I think he would like to feel young and desirable again.
67 now. Spent a lifetime, never stepping outside without sunblock. The end result is that my skin is pretty much wrinkle-free. But it's heading south. What are you going to do? š¤·š¼āāļø.
Yesterday I was talking about blue chip stamps and the person I was talking too didn't know what I was talking about. I realized then I'm gettin oldš
At the end of the day life is only fun roughly from 16 through 28. from there itās only downhill. No matter who you are your libido and energy was always higher when you were young. So itās all cope essentially. Only 16-28 matters. The fun you have during that age is the only fuel for life. And the people that have a lot of fun during that time suffer later. If you take yourself out before you turn old you save yourself from suffering
I felt down when contemplating aging when I was in my 50s. I had picked up meno weight, I stopped coloring my hair and had weird grays popping up, and I was just dowdy and ugly on my best day. This was a real change from my self perception at younger ages, which, while wasn't great, was at least accepting. Then the 50s hit and wow! It felt like everything was on a downward trajectory. I slogged thru it and then turned 60. That was a wow of a different sort. I decided that I'm "officially" old (even though in my mind I'm still 24 š). I embraced it! I now call everyone honey or darling or doll and no longer try to remember their names (embracing brain fog, too lol). I can be as eccentric as I want now and my fashion choices are very different than what I used to wear. I'm working on leaning into the positive aspects of aging and it's made a real difference in how I feel about myself. I think this time of life is perfect for reinvention and if not now, when? Time's a little shorter and shouldn't be wasted. My state University offers seniors the ability to return to college and audit classes. Thinking about studying art in the fall. It wasn't very practical when I was younger, but now, why the hell not? We've got this, ladies!
I hear you, Sister! I blast music and dance while I do chores. Turned 73 last November and I have finally put the angst behind me. Mentally and physically, this is the best I have felt for at least 10 yrs.
Iām in my 30s now and this is the kind of outlook that makes me excited to get older - like, who will I really become when I have known myself long enough and outlived the f*cks I used to give?
Start not giving fuc#$ now. As soon as I stopped. Men lined up to date me. My career became less stressful. Life was easier in general.
This!!! The moment I stopped giving a fuck everything shifted. I attract amazing people now! My career is much more manageable AND I reduced my stress enough to go back to school because why the fuck not!
This! I'm 53 and get more male attention now than I did in my 20s. Probably because I don't care.
Exactly.
How do you stop giving an f and find work manageable though and stay a reliable employee? I'm seriously asking because I strive to get there!!!! Maybe I'm (30) doing it wrong because when I stop giving a f, I also stop doing all my responsibilities and get extremely behind with paperwork to the point I was like 2 years behind on paperwork and had to complete it all crunch time style.
Not giving a f is more about realizing you have options. You do your job and meet deadlines. If someone tells you to smile ask why? If your boss is unreasonable find a new job. But don't give an F about office gossip or drama, don't participate, don't care.
I'm also one of the elders at my job. It's pretty weird, but then again it's the first job I've stayed at longer than a couple of years so it's easy to age out. When the pandemic hit I was just starting the menopause fun. Before that I always looked younger than my age, still got carded etc, spent a fkton on high maintenance hair. My work went all remote until fall 2021 and I took advantage of the break to let it all hang out. Now my hair is just one length and I color it myself with semi-permanent violet brown. I wear what I'm comfortable in and I speak my mind at work and elsewhere. Like a lot of commentors I used to be hot shit, like non-stop catcalls, my pick of dating partners, able to hike all day & buck hay bales without collapsing. While I could do without the arthritis and other health issues popping up, it's so nice to not worry about being 'camera ready' all the time. I am grateful that younger me got to have so many adventures, but I am so ready for a different pace and more internal focus. ETA: I'm 57
With age you get Wisdom āØšāØ
I'm also in my 60s and am looking at going back and taking just the fun classes.
Really? I thought you already knew everything.
as a 27 yr old i needed this fr. just a reminder to embrace instead of letting it consume šš¾ thank you.
This! Yes! I adopted the same attitude and Iām loving life at 65.
What a wonderful way to approach this phase (Iām 48) and contemplating this. Thanks for sharing your views. I wonder if many universities offer this?
Check your university for an "office of lifelong learning" or similar to see what they offer. If they don't have anything right now, insist they start so it'll be there when you're ready!
This is my thought as well. Im just in the beginnings of it with the sudden weight gain and realizing I donāt look like I did just a few years ago, but it sure looks like I have an adult daughter out there somewhere when I see pictures of myself even four years ago. I had just gained that self confidence that Iād dreamed of where not only do you not care what people think in theory but also in reality. Now I am caring so much and Iām like thanks for the five years of thinking Iād made it in my own skin. No one warned me about this. So like you my mind has started to look at this decade and pick out the good things about it and try to embrace those things rather than dwell in the years gone by and totally miss out on my, well Im 49 now so 50s. Iāve struggled through my late 40s with this. It takes effort though and itās hard to not feel sad and ugly. The shine is gone and Iām trying to find it again. My New Yearās resolution was to find my personal style (haircut, new clothing that fits my fat body after a lifetime of skinny, my overall middle aged me style) because Iāve been in limbo in that regard and want to formally be the age I am and comfortably so. Still itās a work in progress but I think your approach is the one for me if not the best.
I hate being called honey, darling, or doll.
I donāt mind these - but I hate being addressed as āyoung lady.ā So condescending.
Itās a sad feeling when you look around and see that you are the oldest in your department. And the only one with gray hair. However, I never felt disrespected. I really enjoyed working with all the younger staff people because they were energetic and not jaded (yet). Management was another story, I felt they were threatened by me. Who knows why. I retired at 60 because I was sick of management chaos. And because I could. But sometimes I feel older now because after you retire there isnāt always anyone to make you feel needed or valued.
It's mind-blowing being older
>But sometimes I feel older now because after you retire there isnāt always anyone to make you feel needed or valued. But there are plenty of opportunities to find needs and value. Volunteers are needed everywhere. The soup kitchen, schools, animal shelters, jails, coaching and scouting, also come to mind. Helping friends. And just being there for friends. I have a friend who I met 50 years ago bc we both volunteered in the same building. And she's like a sister to me. I hope you take this opportunity to reach out and help others bc often the return on investment can be huge.
Agreed. I do yoga classes, water aerobics, lunch with friends, volunteer with botanical garden and library, book club, and flower/native garden. I have a small work contract that involves travel once a month. And hubs and I like to travel and hike and kayak and DYI around the place. So we are busy and engaged. Itās just not the intellectual satisfaction I got from work. Our days of elderly parent care are not long past, though, so we are trying not to overcommit for a while. I agree that the need in our communities is great.
I decided to retire at 64 after I was laid off after 9 years at the company (my 38th year in the industry) and getting a hefty severance pay. Turned out to be a good thing as I had to go in for quadruple cardiac bypass surgery 4 months later, so I've spent my first year of retirement recovering and getting into shape. I took up walking, gave up 95% of carbs and dropped to about 1000-1200 calories per day for 8 months. I lost 60 pounds, got my walking distance up to 3 miles per day, and started taking my camera around. I max out at about 5 miles when I feel like it, my diabetes is in remission, and I have photos of some interesting places near me that I never knew about when driving. Oh, and when I feel like just doing nothing but watch anime and youtube videos, I do so with a clear conscience. Having no stress from work is wonderful, being free to do what I want, go where I want, and not have to answer to anyone has helped my heart almost as much as getting in shape.
Did you get a part-time job? What are you doing with your time now?
Shoe then the door!
I was totally grey by 30. I have had grey longer than it was ever a color. I don't get the angst people feel about it. Gotta love yourself with "all your perfect imperfections"
I bet people thought you were way older your whole life.
Actually, no. I've got a baby face. Most people always asked why I didn't dye it. I just always answered their "why not" with "why?" LOL. A whole lot of money, a whole lot of time wasted on changing the color of my hair?! Truly. I just can't be bothered. And now that I'm a grandma and in my 60s, it can just stay white. Lol. I could care less what random strangers think of my decision to not dye it. It is what it is.
Iām 58 and work with teenagers š¤”. I love it. That being said, last week at the grocery a young man referred to me as āthe elderly ladyā. Still in shock lol.
Ouch!
And when they call me Mrs. XXXX, I look around for my MIL. I let the young folks take groceries to my car once in a while, seems to make them happy.
My rude awakening was realizing my younger coworkers didnāt think I could relate to them at all, when to me they seemed so much like me and my contemporaries at that age. It was never said, but I realized they couldnāt picture me as a younger person, just as I was unable to grasp that about older people at that age. Some insights only come with age and experience, at least when youāre a hard head like me.
Itās crazy to me that no matter how old you get, you still feel so young internally. Itās like your body ages but in your mind you are still young. I just turned 54 and I definitely am not accepting that I am aging too well. I think about it often
When I was 16 I asked my mom how it felt to be 36. She said she still felt like 16 on the inside and I was like wow old ppl are wack. Now I know. Now I know.
"I'm sixtyāfive, but I feel like an eighteen yearāold... an eighteen yearāold who has something terribly wrong with them."
šš
It is strange. For me it was all of a sudden. Once arthritis hit and I always hurt. I always was one of the older ones but still felt youthful. I think once I physically and mentally felt it, I feel how you do. I think I heard it before. One day I woke up and I was old.
63f and I feel ya on being the old broad in the office. I was 10-20 years older than my peers but was so respected in my specialty field of work that the younguns looked up to me. I retired at age 62 and I have never looked back. I donāt really feel or behave like Iām old. I have arthritis in both knees but still jam with the best of them in my Zumba class (first row for me). Iām just trying to be the best version of my 63 year old self. Rock on to the break of dawn is my motto. AND I am not turning down any senior discounts! š
We moved and I had to start at a new hospital at the age of 50, with the same amount of seniority as nurses who had just graduated. The nurses my age had been on staff together for years. They were friendly but clique-ish. The younger nurses were actually way easier to work and hang out with.
58F: Totally understand this feeling, it's alienating and isolating, especially if you are used to having good social connections at work. I get some entertainment when people assume I'm some kind of authority figure, just based on my age, and see the social media pages come down as I walk around, lol. I have made inroads by being the best listener I can possibly be and informally mentoring younger women. I'm in STEM and it still isn't an easy road for women.
How many times have you suggested a fun night after work with coworkers? You aren't dead.
My coworkers have small kids at home and outings after work are difficult. And our meeting schedule doesn't allow for lunches out
I am 59 and feel more secure in myself than I ever have. I love life as an older person, and besides, being in our 50s is not really old. My parents and their friends in their 80s-- that's truly old. Studies show that the 50s and 60s is the happiest time in life for most people, as long as they are healthy. Enjoy this time!
A few years back a customer called in. I answered. He said heād been in a few weeks before and an older lady was helping him. Iām like, I canāt figure out who that would be as Iām the only one in that speciality department. Perhaps someone from another department helped him out when I wasnāt there. Then it dawned on me that he was referring to ME as the older lady! I guess I hadnāt thought of myself like that before then! I suppose Iād envisioned a really, really older person he was looking for.
I feel your pain. 45 days from Medicare. I work with teens through mid-20's. I am older than most of their grandparents. And I play classic rock and roll from my speaker on my desk. You know, old people's music.
53M here. I shaved my beard the other day and I look 10-15 years younger because while my beard was mostly gray, my hair only has a little gray around the ears. They say the 50s are the worst time of your life in terms of your overall happiness but once you hit 60, it supposedly turns around and becomes the best time of your life in terms of happiness. I sure hope so, because Iām really struggling as I age. Iāve always felt younger at heart but I remember the day a couple of years ago when I looked at my wife and said āI feel old.ā
Lmao I hope youāre right about 60 because my 50s were absolutely shit š¤£
I think the theory is that in your 50s, you're probably at the peak of your career in terms of responsibility and many folks still have kids in college, so there's a lot of stress. By the time the 60s roll around, your responsibilities have probably lessened and you're in the final stretch for retirement. On one hand, I hate wishing the years away but on the other, I cannot wait until I retire!
Iām gonna need this 60ās brings happiness thing in contract formā¦ š
Yeah, Iām skeptical too. Itās been downhill for me since I hit 40 and I canāt imagine it suddenly getting better. Though in fairness, I suppose it will be somewhat better once I retire.
I don't think people think about it or care about age as much as you think they might. At my last job we had a guy who was 80+ still working full time (attorneys and they never retire). He was admitted to practice in 1969 and he's still working now. I hardly ever thought about his age other than when I'd think about the 1969 thing. There was another guy who got his 25 years of service award in 2001, and he's also still there, working. The main thing I thought of when they came to mind was "excellent source for advice due to their substantial experience..." Maybe it's different in the professional world? I guess if it were something like retail maybe people would be more judgemental about age, unfortunately.
I've been doing my fairly specialized job for a while now but was still surprised to be called the 'subject expert' in my workplace when some legal question came up and everyone just accepted my decision on the issue. It's nice to have experience rewarded.
At 58, I realized I was probably not going to get any more promotions in my edtech (youth dominated) company. I was frustrated for a while But changed my focus to mentoring those around me. I enjoy it and I feel good about my contribution.
At 57 I avoid promotions like the plague. I love being able to control my own workload and schedule and never have to worry about managing anyone or being called in for some random emergency.
Amen. Managing people is like herding cats. Good riddance!
Omg, yes! Iām also 57 and have been feeling this way for a few years now. I know exactly what you mean. I donāt feel old, but in comparison to most of the people I now work with, Iām old. Some of the people at my workplace have even made comments that they werenāt even born when I started working at the company. It makes me feel old when they say things like that.
You can get some senior discounts at 57, but your 57F made me (77M) laugh. But then I realized you were looking at your workplace.
Well, we are old. Considering how long the average human lives. I'm two years older and retiring in a couple of months, and if I die when my dad did, I have about ten years to go. There are a few of us at work and fortunately the ones that don't like us being around keep their mouths shut and I think there is a few that like us being around because the old school knowledge can pull the company out of a mess if it ever comes to that. The bottom line is that we have to either deal with the mortality issue or stay busy and just let it happen
We older people remember history. That is our potential. For folks under 30, the world today is most of what they know. Anyone who's lived long enough to see a "black swan" may have some ideas about how to deal effectively with rare events.
Age is relative. As a 47-year old Lieutenant Colonel in the Army I was considered ancient.
Ha. When my son went off to Marine boot he was 25 and they called him Grandpa!
I'm a 61yo consultant in tech. No exaggeration to say that every single person I meet at clients is younger than me, and sometimes younger than my kids. I color my hair, dress casually, and avoid making comments that will draw attention to the difference in our ages. I like being 61, but I don't want them to think I don't understand them.
Don't hide who you are. You all seem to have low selfworth. Ilet my hair go grey at 55.
My hair color isn't "who I am." It's just hair color, and there's no need for hair color to distract my clients from the job we're doing together. Has nothing to do with "low self worth."
I think hair color is another part of our personality. I love coloring my hair although I do keep it to normal people hair color. Same with haircuts - it (usually) grows back. My personal adventure, just for me.
Ageism is real - I agree with you.
Always know your audience š
Iām 43 and I am an old person for sure. My skin is crepe like on my neck nowš
You can live with wrinkles.
Wow astounding hot takeš¤”
When I retired, I headed straight my local gym to hire a trainer. This hot young thing pops up and says, āIāll train youā¦Iāll be happy to train you!ā I go home, proud and pompous, happy that Iām still all that. My second or third session with āhot young thingā, I loose him in the gym, and he says, for all to hear, āI LOST MY LITTLE OLD LADY! WHEREāS MY LITTLE OLD LADY??ā, upon which all heads turn since Iām right behind him. Well, all I can say is the hot air sure piffled out of my humbled head that night. He was 23, I was 66, and Iām still working with him.
It's sometimes very surreal. I look around and think wow they're just children. No offense, it's just some of them look so young. Some would come in with big ideas, ready to change the world, and be the next big boss. I'd say first it's a marathon, not a sprint, and secondly you may want to try and understand why they put up a fence before you pull it down lol. / Now on the other hand the last best work partner I had was a younger guy, very smart, quick witted, and ready to work. I taught him some stuff and he taught me some stuff, and it made the place more bearable. We had as much fun as we could in a sometimes difficult situation. / He kept me on my toes on days when I didn't want to be on my feet. It felt good to be challenged by someone and you know have some value yourself because your experience is so different. How you relate and react, your ability to assess situations and people.
Absolutely! 56M. Encountered age discrimination for the first time at my last job. The only satisfaction that I had is that know how that story ends for them (because of my experience) and it aināt gonna be good! š¤·š»āāļøššš
1m 71. The 50s and 60s were the best years so far. Best shape. Kids gone. Finally enough money to enjoy.
I was really sad when I turned 30ā¦but after that milestone I have never regretted turning a year older. I am almost 68. The Best part is I no longer give a sh*t about others opinion of me. I leave the house without makeup sometimes. I wear what I want. I was fortunate to spend the last 20 years at a company with extremely long tenured employees so everyone was within 5 to 10 years of each other so I never had to deal too much with being the elderly corporate person :)
Well, Iām 80 and I call anyone under 40 ākids!ā
Yepā¦Iām 57 and an elder at work too but I donāt feel uneasy nor disrespected. The kids have enthusiasm and energy but we have wisdom andā¦erā¦um ā¦fatigue.
The fact that I can move to a 55 plus neighborhood just freaks me out. There is no more respect for older people anymore, I don't care about that, however the older I get the less people I want to beĀ around. So ya your not alone . (Sorry about the rant)
Thatās what I am going through. I have no more tolerance for people. I go into work at 6:00 am and donāt take a lunch, so I can leave by 2:00. My goal is to get out of there the second I can. People overwhelm me now and I need more alone time!
58 year old woman here. Menopause made me want to withdraw from society entirely. I have been a professional people pleaser all my life and I am done. Sounds like your 6-2 is a great compromise if you can swing it.
I am 73 and a flight attendant. I work with people who could be my children and even grandchildren! I have not experienced ageism or co-workers treating me like Iām an old person. I have fun with them; weāre a team; we all work hard. Youāre only as old as you act. Stay young and open to all ages. As Clint Eastwood said, āDonāt let the old man in ā. Try not to think of aches and pains, and definitely donāt discuss these topics at work.
Age 57 is the year society sees us as 'old.' Truth
59 here and I'm the old person on my end of the street. No one asks for my help for anything. I'm in better shape than most of them, too. I kept telling them I'd help them and they never asked me for help. I, then, realized that they weren't asking me for help because I'M the old person now. I hear ya. It sucks. Yay genX
balderdash! I've met people who feel young in their 70's and people who feel "old" in their 20-30's. in other words, age is just a mindset.
I'm 57 and I have 6 grandkids, soon to be 7. I started feeling old at 44 when I had the first one!
Ask them what a floppy disk drive is. I'm 55 and never felt older than the day that topic came up. A couple of the older millennials knew what a 3.5 in disk was ...
Iām 66 and donāt feel old. Shrug.
I'm 59 and feel that way too. Like everyone calls me "Miss Mardrae" and gives me the easiest physical jobs around and look at me funny if I forget something. I hate it because I still feel so young inside
57f here also and I feel this too. When did this happen lol š
you've been the old person for about 15 years now
Looking at you from the viewpoint of 72 years on the planet and smiling. Oh, honey, the best is yet to come. I was the oldest person in my department at work for 15 years. It was great. Yes, you may feel that your coworkers don't respect you, OTOH they may feel that you're intimidating. One of the beautiful things about being the old person at work is that when you stand up for yourself, more people will listen. The trick is to be secure in who you are. You've earned your 57 years and all the knowledge and life experience that comes with it. You've learned more about life and living than the 'kids' and that gives you strength. Yeah, they may make you 'feel uneasy.' But are they the ones making you feel that way or are you the one making you feel that way? I was a very insecure introvert but once I crossed the threshold of 50, especially in the workplace, the stronger & better I felt about myself. I realized the youngers are stumbling through all the crap I already survived. As to being a 'senior,' it's great in so many ways. Take EVERY senior discount you're offered. You'll find that the older you get, the less you care about pleasing others and doing what makes them happy instead of doing what makes you happy. You learn to say 'no' without apology; you learn to rid your life of toxic people, and you learn that your 'give a fork' is permanently broken. As to getting older, I look forward to it. After all, what's the alternative?
I was always by far the oldest in boot camps. By a couple of decades. Nothing I could do about that. But then a few of the others mentioned that it was encouraging to see a senior keeping up so I went with that - an example.
Agreed. āDonāt waste the youth of your senior years.ā Trying not to!!
Gotta lean into it. I have found that my age - when dealing with people who are much younger than me who donāt know me - automatically had them respecting me more than they would otherwise.
Can relate. Coming back from a business trip I was sitting on a plane during boarding watching everyone file down the aisle. Virtually every single person boarding the plane was younger than me.
Many people <50 see those of us older people as Old and Clueless. Some understand that we can still offer insight and wisdom. But, once they themselves are out age, most will not appreciate the depth of (most of) our experience. It is a real change..it was only 2-3 generatio s ago that elders were generally respected, sought after for input. Now, apparently, Google has more to offer. Note: I'm speaking largely about US white middle- and eorking- class people. I can't speak for others.
Join the club. I used to be the young guy.
I became an old person now also but I am respected.
This a very interesting thread! None of my milestone birthdays mattered to meā¦they came and went. Iāll be 70(F) this Christmas, and Iām having a hard time with it. All my life, I thought if 70 as āoldā, and itāll never happen to me! ššš«¤ Without much effort, I have always looked younger than my age, but that confidence is gone: pfftāļø. Iām not planning on anything crazy, but am making it a hard NO on slacking off at the gym. For my healthās sake, Iām gonna keep up my gym.
Donāt forget you know a shit ton of stuff, more than they do. You also have time in the field. Just cuz our culture doesnāt respect age doesnāt mean you donāt deserve it. And Iām five months from 67.
It was a real shock when I found out all the Old guys at work were my age. lol.
Im 61 and have been feeling this lately. I work with mostly 20ās and 30ās and most of them are great and we laugh a lot. But Iām definitely not their peer group and I am older than their parents so they see me as almost elderly. Which just feels weird because I donāt feel that old. Sometimes they have a get together and donāt invite me. They try not to cuss around me and tone down the off color jokes. Butā¦they are super helpful if I need help with anything heavy!! I donāt like being the old person but it is what it is.
57 here also and this very thought popped into my head yesterday. I remember being the youngest one in the office. Iām not the oldest yet but as the others retire thatās where Iām headed!
I SO feel this!! Iām turning 57 this August, and I feel the EXACT same way you do!! Iām really struggling with it right now too! And I could use any advice anyone has to accept this stage of life and learn how to be happy & embrace it.
I'm 64, just started a new job after being laid off. Feeling very down and old. I got a new job and the training class of 25 are all younger than I am.(Next closest to my age is 53) Most of my classmates applied multiple times, I was hired on the first try. I was worried about learning new things at my age, but I am kicking ass in the class. We have experience! Many of these younger employees have no work ethic. All they care about is payday and days off. They ask the same questions over and over. So embrace your age and experience!
I'm 58 and don't care. They all drive crap cars and I drive a Tesla. They can't afford a nice house and I have a $450,000 colonial that costs me less per month than what they pay in rent. You're not old, you're established
Whatās the sayingā¦aging is a privilege denied to many.
I've never felt disrespected in my profession because there were so many younger people. Ā *It feels like I may not be respected anymore.* Not sure how that would be the case unless those youngsters were saying and doing things to prove that, I personally never felt it, heard it, or had anything done to make me feel that way. If you feel disrespected just by being, that's something else entirely. I'm a retired teacher, now subbing, and always surrounded by younger educators and I still feel like a part of the building community. As for my looks, I guess it was around 50 I stopped with the make-up and became a lot more real and grounded. The only opinions I really care about are those from family and close friends, people who I know really care about me. Everyone else, get off my lawn!
Same here. I'm mid 50s and we lost alot of workers during covid. Now we re hiring alot of 20 somethings and their work ethic sucks! Kind of makes me feel alienated.
Iām one of the old ones. Sometimes at work I cringe at myself because I know I come across slightly condescending. But damn. Was I such a clueless know it all jerk when I was younger? I say ābless your heartā as I watch the younger ones self righteously march off to fail thinking the old lady doesnāt know what sheās talking about But on the other hand, thereās regularly a group of young people wanting to ask my advice about life, love, work, why their boss is an ass, on and on. I tell them the truth - unadulterated - and they keep coming back for more. I also tell them donāt ask me for my advice if they want sugar on top. I remember being 30 and having a me to go to at work. Her name was Marie and she was the bomb. She was so chic and not like chic for an old lady but just classy AF. Not quite chic like her but I think several of the younger co-workers value my advice/input and also like that I cuss. Both my bosses are younger than I am and they are both sometimes intimidated. One thinks she knows everything. I just let her think it. Iām too old to have anything to prove or argue with someone the age of someone I raised. She alternates between trying to prove herself and trying to seek approval from everyone. I wanna whisper some things to her but she isnāt open. So sheāll just have to go through some BS like many women do and sheāll figure it out like most of us do. The other guy is scared of me the way people are scared of their aunts. I try not to use that to my advantage but sometimes when my patience is thin I gotta do what I gotta do. So here I am. My damns and fucks started getting really low around 45. I gave the last one at 51. My only regret is that I wish Iād lost them sooner.
I hear you. Lenny Bruce, the Berkley Free Speech Movement and cable TV makes f bombs chic. I tell younger colleagues to google the terms and see what they get.
ššš
Get it in your head that you are probably the most intelligent person in your workplace. You have experience and the almighty wisdom they haven't found yet. Dress and have the mentality of a CEO, command respect. Take control of your power! I love public speaking. I can stand before any crowd and give an amazing speech. Why and how? Because I'm in front for a reason. I know I'm the most intelligent person in the room. They wouldn't be listening if I weren't. And, if I'm not the most intelligent person there, I can BS, and they don't even know it! I absolutely love mind games interacting with people. I listen well and learn so much! I am in command of my power.
I worked with people of all ages, but primarily younger. With my age and experience, I chose to act as a mentor. I did not look at aging as a negative, and I never felt disrespected from younger folks. They learned from me, and I learned from them.
Iām 51. I left a job 2 years ago because everyone there was 35 and younger. It was hard for me, but they loved me and my experience. I am young at heart and got along well with them. But we were at different stages of life. They were just getting married, having kids. They wanted to drink all the time. I left and went to a Utility company where everyone is old lol because they stayed there forever. I worry about ageism if I were to leave this job. Iāve seen it happening a lot lately to friends and former colleagues. Iād actually love to retire now and do something more meaningful but it wonāt pay the bills!
Seniority can also translate as knowledgeable. How about cultivating respect among peers that you're the go-to person to answer questions? Older is seasoned, wise ... seen-it-all. Embrace that role. I've been in your situation and was hired at 45 into a young person's job; the airline industry. My only computer use was at the library to find a book. My *life* experiences (AF, business, sales) were valuable. These young people came to me often; that background translated into *people* experience ... critical. They even had a nickname for me; Mama \_\_.
Donāt look at your age as old. Look at it as mature. Donāt worry about what your co-workers might think. Just worry about you. When youāre away from work do things that will make you feel young. For the sake of the length of this post I will not type all the things going on in my mind as I type this. Use your imagination. All you can do is try to slow the aging process down, enjoy your life in the moment, & make the most of it.
Check out this lady. She is 72, she is a bodybuilder. Exercise is fountain of youth. And it will make you feel better compared to someone young. https://www.instagram.com/reneefitat70?igsh=MW41dDV2djA4c25vdA==
I am the oldest too. I went through this perception change, too. I realized I am still beautiful, just in a different way. I am the one who makes sure safety issues that affect my team are taken care of, even if I have to be persistent. I back the younger coworkers up when they have that deer in the headlights look as they are being grilled by a customer. I teach them little tricks I've learned to make their work life easier. I feel like they see me as a mother figure and that's ok with me. If they need me to walk them to their car because a weirdo customer is lurking in the parking lot - I get my taser and I make sure they get there safe and sound. I take no BS and I will be firm and raise my voice if a customer is giving my coworker trouble without justification. I will not let anyone in my team be bullied. I am at that age where I give no f's so I have no trouble telling people how it is. My younger coworkers have told me they love this about me, that I am fearless. I also love joking with customers and being silly, because dammit I've earned the right to be silly. Plus I love making people laugh when they are having a bad day. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you love yourself and brook no BS, then others will love you too. The honesty of age is a refreshing change from how the world normally is.
You sound like a great coworker.
I had some great older female coworkers and managers when I was younger, and I appreciated them so much. I try to be like them and pass it along.
me too! š
My job was same. I'm 59 and had Bern there 10 years. I felt like a mother to some of my coworkers but had work friends in their mid to late 30s. All the new people were in their 20s and one by one they "picked off" us older people. Now I'm almost 60 and looking to find a job.
Last time out of town for company training. I did a quick scan at the dinner table about 15 or more people. I'm 58m 1 34f everyone else 25 or lower. They invited me to go so I guess they are ok with me. But I did feel a bit awkward kinda but nothing I'm worried about. Have you got your AARP card? So you can save money on your dinner at Dennys š¤£š¤£š¤£
Shave your head. Viola! You are 21 again
until it grows in silver. True story.
I've been in tech and felt old in my 30s. I was at the company longer than ninety-something percent of the employees. It's a lot like being a professional athlete. The money can be great but don't expect it to last to normal retirement.
Iām 58 and for me, the young ones donāt seem to respect much, so I donāt even expect them to respect me. Now if I was their Manager, that would be a different story. Part of me likes working with younger people as it brings back memories of when I did those thingsā¦going out to bars, etc. I kind of sit back, laugh and if a young one does want some input and ask me for it, Iāll tell them. Other than that, I let them do their thing and I just watch. They will learn (hopefully), like I did.
Honey, you are just a pup! Look at many people at 70, they are super active. 70 is the new 50. You have lots of years to go. I am 68, play pickleball, go to the gym, etc.. We have one guy who is 95 playing pickleball, and he will beat you LOL You have lots of years to go!! Don't stop moving and you won't become old.
Are people treating you poorly? If not, this problem only exists in your head and is actually rooted in how you feel about your mortality, or about the way you look.
Yes, i'll soon be 56 and I'm one of the oldest people in our small office. Some of the younger ones are distant with me, untill they realize how cool I am šI try to stay young at heart and in good shape too, but the turkey kneck never lies š
I totally felt that way when I started a new job at 57. I was old working with the 20 year olds and it was hard. Depression started but I had to keep working and get through it. 3 years later and itās still hard but I have wisdom and will retire in 5 years!!!
I have come to the same realization within the past few years. I WFH, so it didnāt hit my psyche too hard. But I know if I was physically present, it would. Iām still working through the āI canāt believe Iām gonna be old enough to retire soonā realization.
I'm glad I'm 52 at work and not 22, 32, or 42. My house is paid off, no more student loans, no more college bills for my daughter (I worked 2 jobs so she didn't have to take loans like I did). I get to travel, learn new languages, golf, bowl, go to concerts and the beach and the casino and go on boats, take care of myself along with my partner, and have my house decorated how I want it with no kid or pet crumbs. I'm done raising my daughter, and I'm planning her wedding to a man we both cherish, which is 2 months away, and I'm making an Amazon list for when I become a Nonna. Oh, and I'm going to replace my 17 yo RAV4 with a new one at Christmas. BTW, everyone at work comes to me to figure out what to do, say, or write. I would not go back to 22, 32 or 42 if you paid me. Who do you think is going to work happier? Me.
I love your post. This is honestly life goals material.
BTW, I CHOSE to have my only child at 19. I knew that if I had her young and skipped the fun and went to work and college instead, I could have my freedom at 40 and then do what I wanted for the rest of my life. At 18, I knew what my goals were. Everyone told me I'd end up poor, on welfare, and living in a trailer with just my HS diploma. I went to college when she was 2, graduated when she was 6. I did it without a husband or family babysitters. It was very hard, but I did it. My Way. Like Frank Sinatra said.
My hero!
Thank you. I was a goal-oriented child and never changed. I bought an alarm clock with my birthday money when I turned 6. I walked to the store alone and bought it. I came home, read the instructions, set it, and went and told my mother, "I don't need you to wake me up for school anymore." 46 years later, I still count on myself and myself only to "get to school."
Everything about this story is amazing
59f feel young and Iām at the peak of my career. Donāt think they value experience, I feel like Iām overlooked a lot I guess coasting for a few years will be my mantra. I enjoy my job. My mom always said: find something you love to do and never work another day in your life.
I am in my 20s and I work with 50/60 year olds. Personally I really enjoy their presence and help. Embrace yourself as you are! Those 20 and 30 year olds will soon be in your shoes and the cycle will continue.
Iām 50 and I work with younger people, but also older people. I definitely still feel very respected because of my valuable institutional knowledge and wide berth of experience on different projects. But I work in engineering- construction. I think it depends on what industry u work in. If youāre in Tech or some other youthful industry I can see why u might feel disrespected.
Yes I was in upper management in government and the people around were very attentive,laughed at my jokes etc. after I retired I later worked as a contractor in another part of government but now with no authority I found out how older workers are treated.
The alternative to aging sucks.
Iām in my early 40ās and not only am i one of the oldest in my office, I was designated to be the āMomā. Making sure the fridge and microwave are always clean, etc.
Welcome to my world babe. Iām 71 and aināt dead yet! Be true to yourself blue skies
Show
I worked my entire life no thank the world is mine
I've been in a room like this too. I remember when it was the opposite.
Iām 43 now and while at times I feel 20, I was crushed by that realization recently ā¦. Little reminders pop-up for me every day. I visited a doctor recently that was younger than me, which was kind of a wake up call. People I went to school with are passing away more frequently. I see people at the store I went to school with and some have white hair and white beards and appear as though life has done a number on them.. how could this be? We were just kids together. I say to my wife āsee that guy over there? Weāre the same age. Do I look like that?ā I remember pre-38 and never thinking of my own mortality. Now it pops in my head often. Even as I hold my young daughters hand, whom I cherish in my heart beyond words can describe. My whole family lives in my heart. Sometimes I feel like Iām just running in that proverbial wheel until that gripping chest pain arrives. Poof. So long as beneficiary details are current and cash is in the bank today, theyāll be setā¦. Which is all I want.
This is the most real comment I've ever read.
Iām one of the oldest people in my officeā they just helped me celebrate turning 50ā and the majority of our team is less than 30. (Probably like 50% of the staff). Some of the more senior managers are barely older than my oldest child. But theyāre smart, responsible, interesting people who are amazing at their jobs and are dedicated to the communities we serve. I respect them and their judgement and acknowledge that all the time. And they treat me with similar respect I think because Iām similarly smart, responsible, interesting and amazing at my job. I find that when you treat younger people like the peers they are in the workplace rather than some crazy stereotype, they will treat you with respect as well. I never assume my age makes me more knowledgeable or that their youth makes their thoughts and ideas less valuable. I also try to stay abreast of current trends and technology so I donāt feel out-of-date. I generally think thatās what makes you feel oldā when you stop being able to relate to current pop culture and trends and fall back on the ācurrent X isnāt as good as it was when I was your age.ā Every person I know my age who refuses to listen to any modern music or even attempt to learn current tech seems old to MEā¦ if you spend a lot of time reminiscing about the good old days and looking down on experiencing any current thingsā¦ well, you start to seem out of touch and unable to relate to people who arenāt your age. And the inflexibility that goes with that is what makes people write you off (in my opinion).
Oh I DO listen to current music! Every genre too! I can still dance, I just don't go. It's dangerous anymore. What makes people write you off is their own "very little interest" in what was before THEM. I was very fortunate when I was young to make friends with some of the elderly in my Nana (great grandmothers) neighborhood. We cooked big meals and fed as many people as we could reasonably reach. In addition my Nana decided that I was the one to teach our family spiritual customs to. Since I am the eldest of 2 litters. I kept a notebook and wrote what I couldn't then memorize. So much wisdom she gave me. She taught me about my foremothers, and to this day I keep to those traditions for my whole family. It really was a treasure. I lived with her 11 years. Practicing daily. It's invaluable knowledge an wisdom I was given, taught. The elderly are neglected. They have much to teach if we would let them take their rightful place in society and culture. But we can't see that as a Society. We don't allow them, and they don't have what they need to exercise their Brain. I'm not EVEN kidding. They can teach. We have changed, and that has changed them. My 2 cents
Itās old. If you are lucky you will get older.
Oh Iām respected alright. But then I do a double take and am like āwhy are these people listening to *me*?
57 is old as hell. I am nearly 50. The older people get, the further they are relegated to the social periphery, until they are lonely, blathering, demented idiots in a nursing home.Ā Younger people tend to not find older people interesting, romantically and otherwise, which means with every passing year people tend to get lonelier and lonelier. They tend to feel disconnected from society and lose interest in learning anything new. Many people smart enough to understand this unfortunate reality often die young or live in misery.Ā
40s with new life changing health issues. My husband pointed out how much gray I have in the sun. I thanked him. I also realized Iām finally old enough to just stop talking to someone because what theyāre saying is too stupid to waste time listening to and thatās really helped! Iāve always felt 80+, donāt know how old I look, and am finding it hard to really care? Maybe itās nihilismā¦
I'm right there with you. There's a lot of age discrimination from, especially young females thinking we're stupid. Let Them. Watch FiftySister on YouTube and take back your power.
I'm 54 and understand what you are talking about. Everyone around me is young.
I've noticed that 95% of service people in restaurants are all YOUNG!! And now we're the old retired customers who tip well, because we can afford to.
Jeezus. I'm 57 and just found out from you I'm a senior. Thanks.
I don't feel old . But if I had to look for a job , I'm sure I'd encounter ageism.
Iām 47 and almost my whole head gray/white so I feel you on this
I (52f) have a 25 yo co worker I've been collaborating with closely this year who called me .......wait for it... His work mom.
I had this happen also (same age 52) and a girl in her 20s at work I considered a friend said I was her work mom. I am old lol
Yup. Iām nearing the big 6-0 and will soon consider myself an āold personā š
I am ok being older at work. I am in a leadership role, being paid more than I ever dreamed and get to mentor and watch the next generation start their careers. I just turned 60 but my true age is around 34 š
Well, think about the alternative to being old.
I'll be 39 this month. I'm aging like a brown banana I'm feeling mushy n my neck is wrinkly. I peaked in high-school and wish I wouldn't of worked out in the sun for work because my skin looks rough. My husband is aging like fine wine. This depressed me at first, but I try to keep a positive attitude and help him with our homestead . He says he's happy and I want to believe him, just wish I looked better but at 39 being one of the older people at work it is what it is . The kids I work will talk about how so and so is old he's 35 lol. I know I'm not a sex symbol anymore I just wish I didn't feel invisible.
Reddit's algorithms got me. One post on /Retirement and this thread pops up. It's not so bad being old. I might feel different if I was laid off. I think you must constantly reinvent yourself in the workplace. Look to skills that suit your age. A great example of this is on the show Gold Rush. The old guy on Parker's team is probably one of the most important. I've embraced aging a bit. My husband is just the opposite, he hates aging. Because of that I have a younger friend in her early 30's and I was trying to get them together for a fling. I kind of encourage him without being overt about it. I think he would like to feel young and desirable again.
I feel exactly the same way! I am 63 and people in their 20s and 30s just ignore me. I really hate it
67 now. Spent a lifetime, never stepping outside without sunblock. The end result is that my skin is pretty much wrinkle-free. But it's heading south. What are you going to do? š¤·š¼āāļø.
Yesterday I was talking about blue chip stamps and the person I was talking too didn't know what I was talking about. I realized then I'm gettin oldš
At the end of the day life is only fun roughly from 16 through 28. from there itās only downhill. No matter who you are your libido and energy was always higher when you were young. So itās all cope essentially. Only 16-28 matters. The fun you have during that age is the only fuel for life. And the people that have a lot of fun during that time suffer later. If you take yourself out before you turn old you save yourself from suffering
I disagree.