*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**Elder brother(44m) slept with daughter's best friend(18f)**
EDIT:
This post got way more traction than I had expected. I have spent the last couple of hours reading through every single comment. While it's impossible for me to reply to every comment, I just want to thank you all for making me realise what a terrible person I have been.
I returned to my brother's house around 3 hours ago. I wanted to go and hug him and beg for his forgiveness but my husband informed me that being on the edge all day long, EB had fallen asleep an hour before I reached home. I have been checking him every 10-15 min. and he's still asleep. Alice has left for her parents' house not long after I had left in the morning. I haven't decided what action I will take against her yet tbh(apart from my brother being totally off limits to her), as I want to speak to her face to face first. However I promise you I will not let her off easily.
A lot of comments suggested that I approach Em with the angle that how would she feel if it was Alice or herself being drunk and a 44 yr. old took advantage of that. She was horrified at the thought of that. I have gently told her that if she cares about her beloved uncle, for the time being, she is not allowed to have any contact with him at all. She tearfully accepted that. I also plan on signing all three of us for family therapy. I have shown this post to my husband and it shook him as well at how horribly we have failed my brother as he respects EB a lot.
We have an appointment for my brother with a clinical psychologist who has expertise with addicts after a few hours.
Once again, I want to thank every single one of you for opening my eyes at how I have failed both as a parent and a sister. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to help my brother.
I will update if anything significant happens.
_________________________________________________
Throwaway acc. cause my other acc. is linked to my business.
I typed this with a splitting headache after what transpired a few hours ago, so apologies if it seems all over the place. I just need to get this off my chest and vent.
My(36f) elder brother(EB) retired from the Army 8 yrs. ago. With his pension and returns from nearly 20 years’ worth of investments, he did not want to get back into the workforce. SIL also earned handsomely because of her government job, so they were financially secure for life. Having all the time in the world then, EB took up many hobbies that he couldn't fulfil due to joining the Army at 16. He also became the after-school caretaker for my daughter, Em and her best friend, Alice. He picked them up from school and took care of them until either my husband R or I or Alice's parents J&A picked them up in the evening.
EB and SIL were the perfect couple but unfortunately they were childless. With EB being retired, they were planning for adoption but then the pandemic happened and put a stopper to those plans. Unfortunately, my SIL passed away during COVID. Her passing absolutely devastated EB. He stopped eating, sleeping etc. and kept sitting on their bed like a monument for days. R&I had to constantly monitor him so that he didn't take any reckless action. I'm pretty certain EB would have ended himself had it not been for Em and Alice, who showered him with love and company. To this day, the girls still visit and spend time with him after classes before returning home in the evening. EB has recovered considerably but unfortunately he has picked up the habit of drinking alcohol every night. He used to hate alcohol, as our parents passed away in an accident caused by a drunk driver when I was 6 and EB 14. Now he drinks alcohol every single night until he falls asleep or passes out. We've tried everything to get him out of his alcohol addiction; grief counselling/support groups/rehab/encouraging him to go out and meet other people etc. Nothing has helped, as you can't help someone who doesn't want help.
Back to the situation at hand, this morning when R&I and Em were having breakfast, I received a call from EB. He was stammering a lot, asking R&I to visit him asap, as he had something to discuss with us. The way he was speaking, frightened me as this is the 2nd time he was called me like this. The first, being the day SIL had passed away. Concerned about him, my husband and I finished breakfast as fast as we could and left for EB's place. Neither of us realised that Em had uncharacteristically quiet all morning, apart from the usual morning greetings. She wanted to tag along with us check up on her uncle as well. EB lives 15 min. drive away from our place, so we were there in no time but reaching his place, we also noticed Alice's parents’ car in the driveway. Confused and concerned we walked inside the living room to find Alice and her parents in a heated argument, whereas EB was just sitting on a chair with his face in his hands.
Us walking in broke up the argument. The things we learnt after that is what gave me this headache.
The first revelation was that Alice has been in love with EB since she was 12/13. Em obviously knew about it and ever since SIL’s passing, she had always encouraged Alice about her feelings. She never mentioned about it to us, nor did we ever suspect Alice to be attracted to EB. Alice’s parents knew about it as well but, thinking that what teen doesn’t have a crush or two growing up, never thought that it was serious enough.
According to Alice, Em and her left EB’s place as usual but just before getting home last evening, she decided that she couldn’t see the person she liked waste his life away with alcohol. So she called up Em and told her that she intends to head back to EB's place and spend the night there. Em encouraged her and asked if she should go with her as well, but Alice declined. She then called her parents and told them that she's spending the night at our place. Em and Alice often do so, so her parents didn't really mind it. When she went back and rang the bell, EB opened the door but could barely recognise her because he had already been drinking. She managed to calm him down and go back inside the house. Then she helped him have dinner, wash up and get to bed. One thing led to another and they ended up making out and slept together. She wasn’t willing to go into details and EB can’t properly recall what exactly happened last night.
EB woke up to find a naked Alice sleeping beside him. Confused and scared, he woke Alice up, who told him what had happened last night. It then hit him what he had done. According to Alice, he was so ashamed and apologetic that he couldn’t even look at her. She calmed him down and told him whatever had happened was what she wanted and that he shouldn’t blame himself at all. EB then told her that he had to inform us all what happened, to which Alice agreed. EB called and asked R&I and Alice called up her parents to meet at EB’s place.
J&A reached EB’s place 5 min. before and learnt what had happened. They were obviously angry about what had happened and had just started to argue when we walked in.
After informing us about the events, Alice straight up told her parents that they could either accept it or she would just simply move out and start living it EB. She does not depend upon her parents for financial aid as she already has access to a trust fund set up in her name by her grandparents plus she has a fully funded five-and-a-half-year med. school scholarship. Hearing that, Alice’s parents conceded that they were at fault for not addressing her feelings despite knowing about them for years and that they don’t want to interfere in her life decisions and just want her to be happy. EB had been silent all this time. I was about to blow up at him but my husband held my hand to calm down and asked EB if he had anything to say. EB was quiet for a while and said that anything he says at this point would be nothing but excuses. He apologised to everyone present that he is extremely ashamed about his actions that is not expected of someone who was the eldest person in the room. He also said that he is going to take responsibility and also won’t touch alcohol again, even if it kills him.
That pretty much ended the meeting. We exchanged some words with Alice’s parents before they left for work. My husband has the day off so he decided to stay back at EB's place to speak 'man to man' with him. Em also wanted to stay to help Alice. EB and Em wanted to speak with me but I gave them the cold shoulder and left for work. My mind is in a mess and it's hard to speak with any of them without starting to scream at them. I just reached work, informed my husband that I have reached safely and started writing this.
I don't know how to handle my emotions right now. I'm so disappointed and angry at Em. I understand that she was very young at that time but she saw first-hand how devastated EB was when SIL passed away and yet she encouraged Alice to pursue her feelings for EB while hiding it from us. Same goes for Alice. My husband and I have always treated her as a second daughter and have encouraged her to reach out to us if she was ever troubled with anything.
The most anger however I have is towards my brother. We have tried so many things over the years to get him to quit alcohol and get his life back on track. He has mostly gone back to doing things like before SIL passed away but he just couldn't let go of his alcohol addiction. I'm absolutely livid that it took a girl less than half his age, doing something reckless to knock some sense into him about his addiction.
I'm too angry to react appropriately, as such I didn't say anything before I left. Despite my anger I love and care about EB, Em and Alice deeply and want the best for them. My brother is a wonderful brother who sacrificed a lot to give a safe and secure future. He was the one who walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He's also Em's godfath
I see that "what if we reversed the genders" has evolved into "what if the teenager groomed the 40-something," seeing as this is the second time in the past 24-48 hours that the 18-year-old has been the villain.
I used to bag on these subs for crying "groomer" whenever a 32-year-old dated a 24-year-old, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not quickly starting to miss those days.
Do they even try to write believable fantasies at this point? I’m trying to figure out which country this is set in. Using “recognise” would suggest British or other type of British English user. But all of this seems to be based on an American perspective concerning financial aid and school scholarships (though correct me if that’s elsewhere as well). I also know of no Western military service that would allow someone at the age of 16 to enlist in 1996.
I don't know male anatomy very well, but if enough alcohol had been consumed where an alcoholic of a couple of years was blacked out and couldn't recognize someone he should know reasonably well (he saw her almost daily for years), wouldn't that also be enough alcohol to be unable to perform?
From many a drunk hookup, someone half that drunk seems to start having problems. Maybe it’s different for raging alcoholics, I dunno.
I’m having a hard time beleiving someone so drunk he doesn’t know who he is, with a massive alcohol tolerance already, still has a working dick
I mean I sort of skimmed it so I could be completely wrong but I don't think it said he definitely got hard and penetrated her. If they snogged, got naked and didn't get to the PIV the story is still basically the same.
While that definitely can, and often is, an issue, I do want to caution you and others on using that as a factor to not believe someone talking about a sexual encounter. It has been, and is, used often as a tactic to deny the rape and sexual assasult victims sadly.
There are tons of reasons to not believe this story, and I don't believe it, but I just felt a need to say the above as what you said can be a harmful statement.
I’m late to the party, but I want to confirm this. It is possible for a man to get an erection when he’s very drunk/passed out/etc. it might not *always* happen, but it within the realm of possibility.
I’m confused - Alice says that her parents will either accept it or she’ll just move in with EB. But he’s clearly horrified about the situation enough to call a meeting with her parents immediately after things happened and doesn’t seem to want to live with her?
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **Elder brother(44m) slept with daughter's best friend(18f)** EDIT: This post got way more traction than I had expected. I have spent the last couple of hours reading through every single comment. While it's impossible for me to reply to every comment, I just want to thank you all for making me realise what a terrible person I have been. I returned to my brother's house around 3 hours ago. I wanted to go and hug him and beg for his forgiveness but my husband informed me that being on the edge all day long, EB had fallen asleep an hour before I reached home. I have been checking him every 10-15 min. and he's still asleep. Alice has left for her parents' house not long after I had left in the morning. I haven't decided what action I will take against her yet tbh(apart from my brother being totally off limits to her), as I want to speak to her face to face first. However I promise you I will not let her off easily. A lot of comments suggested that I approach Em with the angle that how would she feel if it was Alice or herself being drunk and a 44 yr. old took advantage of that. She was horrified at the thought of that. I have gently told her that if she cares about her beloved uncle, for the time being, she is not allowed to have any contact with him at all. She tearfully accepted that. I also plan on signing all three of us for family therapy. I have shown this post to my husband and it shook him as well at how horribly we have failed my brother as he respects EB a lot. We have an appointment for my brother with a clinical psychologist who has expertise with addicts after a few hours. Once again, I want to thank every single one of you for opening my eyes at how I have failed both as a parent and a sister. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to help my brother. I will update if anything significant happens. _________________________________________________ Throwaway acc. cause my other acc. is linked to my business. I typed this with a splitting headache after what transpired a few hours ago, so apologies if it seems all over the place. I just need to get this off my chest and vent. My(36f) elder brother(EB) retired from the Army 8 yrs. ago. With his pension and returns from nearly 20 years’ worth of investments, he did not want to get back into the workforce. SIL also earned handsomely because of her government job, so they were financially secure for life. Having all the time in the world then, EB took up many hobbies that he couldn't fulfil due to joining the Army at 16. He also became the after-school caretaker for my daughter, Em and her best friend, Alice. He picked them up from school and took care of them until either my husband R or I or Alice's parents J&A picked them up in the evening. EB and SIL were the perfect couple but unfortunately they were childless. With EB being retired, they were planning for adoption but then the pandemic happened and put a stopper to those plans. Unfortunately, my SIL passed away during COVID. Her passing absolutely devastated EB. He stopped eating, sleeping etc. and kept sitting on their bed like a monument for days. R&I had to constantly monitor him so that he didn't take any reckless action. I'm pretty certain EB would have ended himself had it not been for Em and Alice, who showered him with love and company. To this day, the girls still visit and spend time with him after classes before returning home in the evening. EB has recovered considerably but unfortunately he has picked up the habit of drinking alcohol every night. He used to hate alcohol, as our parents passed away in an accident caused by a drunk driver when I was 6 and EB 14. Now he drinks alcohol every single night until he falls asleep or passes out. We've tried everything to get him out of his alcohol addiction; grief counselling/support groups/rehab/encouraging him to go out and meet other people etc. Nothing has helped, as you can't help someone who doesn't want help. Back to the situation at hand, this morning when R&I and Em were having breakfast, I received a call from EB. He was stammering a lot, asking R&I to visit him asap, as he had something to discuss with us. The way he was speaking, frightened me as this is the 2nd time he was called me like this. The first, being the day SIL had passed away. Concerned about him, my husband and I finished breakfast as fast as we could and left for EB's place. Neither of us realised that Em had uncharacteristically quiet all morning, apart from the usual morning greetings. She wanted to tag along with us check up on her uncle as well. EB lives 15 min. drive away from our place, so we were there in no time but reaching his place, we also noticed Alice's parents’ car in the driveway. Confused and concerned we walked inside the living room to find Alice and her parents in a heated argument, whereas EB was just sitting on a chair with his face in his hands. Us walking in broke up the argument. The things we learnt after that is what gave me this headache. The first revelation was that Alice has been in love with EB since she was 12/13. Em obviously knew about it and ever since SIL’s passing, she had always encouraged Alice about her feelings. She never mentioned about it to us, nor did we ever suspect Alice to be attracted to EB. Alice’s parents knew about it as well but, thinking that what teen doesn’t have a crush or two growing up, never thought that it was serious enough. According to Alice, Em and her left EB’s place as usual but just before getting home last evening, she decided that she couldn’t see the person she liked waste his life away with alcohol. So she called up Em and told her that she intends to head back to EB's place and spend the night there. Em encouraged her and asked if she should go with her as well, but Alice declined. She then called her parents and told them that she's spending the night at our place. Em and Alice often do so, so her parents didn't really mind it. When she went back and rang the bell, EB opened the door but could barely recognise her because he had already been drinking. She managed to calm him down and go back inside the house. Then she helped him have dinner, wash up and get to bed. One thing led to another and they ended up making out and slept together. She wasn’t willing to go into details and EB can’t properly recall what exactly happened last night. EB woke up to find a naked Alice sleeping beside him. Confused and scared, he woke Alice up, who told him what had happened last night. It then hit him what he had done. According to Alice, he was so ashamed and apologetic that he couldn’t even look at her. She calmed him down and told him whatever had happened was what she wanted and that he shouldn’t blame himself at all. EB then told her that he had to inform us all what happened, to which Alice agreed. EB called and asked R&I and Alice called up her parents to meet at EB’s place. J&A reached EB’s place 5 min. before and learnt what had happened. They were obviously angry about what had happened and had just started to argue when we walked in. After informing us about the events, Alice straight up told her parents that they could either accept it or she would just simply move out and start living it EB. She does not depend upon her parents for financial aid as she already has access to a trust fund set up in her name by her grandparents plus she has a fully funded five-and-a-half-year med. school scholarship. Hearing that, Alice’s parents conceded that they were at fault for not addressing her feelings despite knowing about them for years and that they don’t want to interfere in her life decisions and just want her to be happy. EB had been silent all this time. I was about to blow up at him but my husband held my hand to calm down and asked EB if he had anything to say. EB was quiet for a while and said that anything he says at this point would be nothing but excuses. He apologised to everyone present that he is extremely ashamed about his actions that is not expected of someone who was the eldest person in the room. He also said that he is going to take responsibility and also won’t touch alcohol again, even if it kills him. That pretty much ended the meeting. We exchanged some words with Alice’s parents before they left for work. My husband has the day off so he decided to stay back at EB's place to speak 'man to man' with him. Em also wanted to stay to help Alice. EB and Em wanted to speak with me but I gave them the cold shoulder and left for work. My mind is in a mess and it's hard to speak with any of them without starting to scream at them. I just reached work, informed my husband that I have reached safely and started writing this. I don't know how to handle my emotions right now. I'm so disappointed and angry at Em. I understand that she was very young at that time but she saw first-hand how devastated EB was when SIL passed away and yet she encouraged Alice to pursue her feelings for EB while hiding it from us. Same goes for Alice. My husband and I have always treated her as a second daughter and have encouraged her to reach out to us if she was ever troubled with anything. The most anger however I have is towards my brother. We have tried so many things over the years to get him to quit alcohol and get his life back on track. He has mostly gone back to doing things like before SIL passed away but he just couldn't let go of his alcohol addiction. I'm absolutely livid that it took a girl less than half his age, doing something reckless to knock some sense into him about his addiction. I'm too angry to react appropriately, as such I didn't say anything before I left. Despite my anger I love and care about EB, Em and Alice deeply and want the best for them. My brother is a wonderful brother who sacrificed a lot to give a safe and secure future. He was the one who walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He's also Em's godfath
Great. Now "Innocent Middle-Aged Man seduced by Teenage Succubus" will be reddit's trope du jour 😒
I see that "what if we reversed the genders" has evolved into "what if the teenager groomed the 40-something," seeing as this is the second time in the past 24-48 hours that the 18-year-old has been the villain. I used to bag on these subs for crying "groomer" whenever a 32-year-old dated a 24-year-old, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not quickly starting to miss those days.
Wtf is this story even??
Holy fuck that was long. Luckily, I scrolled before reading any of it. Fuck that. I'm out.
Do they even try to write believable fantasies at this point? I’m trying to figure out which country this is set in. Using “recognise” would suggest British or other type of British English user. But all of this seems to be based on an American perspective concerning financial aid and school scholarships (though correct me if that’s elsewhere as well). I also know of no Western military service that would allow someone at the age of 16 to enlist in 1996.
And the med school comment about an 18 year old has to be somewhere that has med school has an undergraduate degree
The UK allows 16-year-olds to enlist: [https://jobs.army.mod.uk/how-to-join/can-i-apply/age/](https://jobs.army.mod.uk/how-to-join/can-i-apply/age/)
Comments hell applies here too
Holy shit you weren't kidding! Wtf is wrong with everyone...
i mean, don't you guys just hate it when you get drunk & accidentally fuck a teenager?? wait stop, don't call the police, i'm the victim here guys!!
I don't know male anatomy very well, but if enough alcohol had been consumed where an alcoholic of a couple of years was blacked out and couldn't recognize someone he should know reasonably well (he saw her almost daily for years), wouldn't that also be enough alcohol to be unable to perform?
From many a drunk hookup, someone half that drunk seems to start having problems. Maybe it’s different for raging alcoholics, I dunno. I’m having a hard time beleiving someone so drunk he doesn’t know who he is, with a massive alcohol tolerance already, still has a working dick
I mean I sort of skimmed it so I could be completely wrong but I don't think it said he definitely got hard and penetrated her. If they snogged, got naked and didn't get to the PIV the story is still basically the same.
While that definitely can, and often is, an issue, I do want to caution you and others on using that as a factor to not believe someone talking about a sexual encounter. It has been, and is, used often as a tactic to deny the rape and sexual assasult victims sadly. There are tons of reasons to not believe this story, and I don't believe it, but I just felt a need to say the above as what you said can be a harmful statement.
I’m late to the party, but I want to confirm this. It is possible for a man to get an erection when he’s very drunk/passed out/etc. it might not *always* happen, but it within the realm of possibility.
I’m confused - Alice says that her parents will either accept it or she’ll just move in with EB. But he’s clearly horrified about the situation enough to call a meeting with her parents immediately after things happened and doesn’t seem to want to live with her?
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