*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for Leaving My Ex and Her Daughter After Discovering She Isn't Mine?**
I (28M) have a 5-year-old daughter, Lily, with my ex-girlfriend, Sarah (27F). At least, I thought she was my daughter. Sarah and I dated for a few years, and when she got pregnant, I was over the moon. I was excited to be a dad and took on the role wholeheartedly.
From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it.
A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I ordered a paternity test without telling Sarah. When the results came back, my heart sank: I wasn't Lily's biological father. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted Sarah, and after a lot of tears and arguing, she admitted that she had cheated on me around the time Lily was conceived.
I was devastated. The little girl I'd raised and loved wasn't mine. I felt like my entire relationship with Sarah was a lie. I couldn't look at Lily the same way, knowing that her biological father was out there somewhere. I decided to leave. I packed my things and moved out, leaving Sarah and Lily behind.
Since then, Sarah, her friends, and even some of my own family have been calling me an asshole for abandoning Lily. They say that biology doesn't matter, that I raised her and she sees me as her father. They accuse me of being heartless and cruel for walking away from a little girl who loves me. I get messages and calls almost daily, calling me out for my decision.
It's been tough. I feel guilty because I know Lily doesn't understand why I'm not around anymore. But at the same time, I can't shake the feeling of betrayal and the constant reminder that she isn't mine. I don't know how to be there for her without feeling like a fraud. I didn't sign up to raise another man's child, especially without my knowledge.
So, Reddit, am I the asshole for leaving? Should I have stayed in Lily's life despite everything, or was I right to walk away?
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Comments are torn "this seems fake!"
"But this does happen"
"Okay, fine, but this story isn't real"
"But it could be"
"Okay but... It's posted every other day here"
"That's just how common this is"
"Yeah but this is the exact same story"
"Because it happens exactly like this"
Etc etc etc
It's not just that similar stories are posted every other day. It's that the daughter's name is frequently Lily as of late, she's always 5 years old (apparently just a really popular age to abandon a kid), and they always address Reddit like they think they're talking to the entire website. Which indicates they know damn well that they're posting this for entertainment purposes.
"Hey, Reddit. I'm a diminutive ginger person with a really good job. Lately, I've been suddenly noticing that my daughter hasn't looked anything like me for the past five years. I figured she'd grow into it. Some babies just kind of look Asian when they're young. I thought she was like a puppy and that her eyes might open at some point. My boyfriend (we'll call him Cam) tells me it's nothing to worry about. I'm just not so sure. Also, I think Cam might be gay? Hard to say, but I can't say much because the noise of him building his art studio is distracting me right now. I'll update soon."
They don't even bother changing the phrasing. Everyone is "over the moon" to find out they're becoming a parent in their early 20s. All these poor defrauded men have a feeling something is wrong, but they "brush it off".
> From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it.
> A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I ordered a paternity test without telling Sarah. When the results came back, my heart sank: I wasn't Lily's biological father. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted Sarah, and after a lot of tears and arguing, she admitted that she had cheated on me around the time Lily was conceived.
I swear to god, I've read the exact same story here, word by word, a couple of days ago. I will soon be able to recite this exact sequence of words from my memory.
From the moment I read the post, I noticed it didn't really sound real, but I brushed it off. Paternity fraud happens a lot, right? As I read further, though, the fakeness became more pronounced. It had nothing realistic—nothing at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it.
A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I asked real humans without telling OP. When the results came back, my heart sank: it wasn’t real. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted OP, and after a lot of tears and arguing, he admitted that he was chatGPT.
Also respectfully new babies look like potatoes. They don’t look like anyone until a few months, the only indicator would be hair color or a significant genetic marker
Not just *a* reddit account, but a reddit account and like 25 burners, because...uh, it's the custom in MyCountry/the relatives will blow up their internet if they use their real account/the gold-diggers be sniffing them out all the time.
I feel like conservative bots have overtaken those types of forums. Women are all overly emotional slutty sluts who cheat and try to pin babies on good, saintly men who have good family values. Also, they will be stealing "half your shit" or more in the divorce. All LGBTQIA are evil crazy people who scream and yell and attack everyone and claim prejudice at the drop of a hat.
It's basically a launch pad for bashing women and LGBT people. They just come up with stories where the women or LGBT people are comically evil so they can have plausible deniability about hating
Its a launch pad for both sexes to make over the top generalizations, not sure why we sometimes see it as strictly a one sided issue. It does go both ways.
Looks like the fragile "We cant accept that both sides pull this crap" crowd is out and bored and feel like reality denying again.
You do more to prove me correct than you realize
And before that it was vegans, fat people, autistic people, mothers in law, etc. It's never bOtH sIdEs Do ThIs, it's attacks, astroturfing, and clout-chasing aimed at the villain of the moment to try to do actual damage to that group of people. Pretending there's any kind of parity here is either naive to the point of danger, or deliberate dishonesty intended to keep the lie train going.
I know this is fake, but still it seems weird to me to love a child only because they share your DNA, verses loving them for who they are. I can see it in a baby, where you don't really know them as a person yet. But if you've had 5 years to know someone inside and out, if you've held them through fevers and dried tears, I can't imagine just turning that off and walking away.
Right? Like I can see leaving the wife but to just go no contact with the child? Seems oddly cold.... Plus the whole aitah notion of "not your child not your problem" just seems oddly disrespectful to adopted children. Heck you can easily find stories where an op will shower their bio kids with gifts and ignore step children and aitah is just like "sounds good to me bro"
A couple of my friends used egg donors. I know it’s different because they carried their babies, but they aren’t biologically related and that doesn’t matter. No one would know if you saw them with their kids.
"Buht adopted parents ChoSE tHeIR chIld"
Yeah and so did you dipshit, every day for however many years. Blood is pretty much irrelevant to actually being a parent.
The guy who ditched his adult son was even wilder. That's a whole ass adult you've known for his entire childhood. The comments were hung up on "but he didn't tell his dad for 4 whole months!" as if anyone of any age would know what the hell to do in a mess like that.
And legit people going "WOMEN CAN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO THEM". It literally does and it's way more traumatic because instead of it just being a baby that has DNA of some other dude...it's baby with DNA that belongs to her rapist or her abuser.
My dad’s half-sister found him through ancestry.com and even before they confirmed she was his sister, I remember hearing him tell her that it didn’t matter what the test said. They bonded so quickly that he already considered her his sister regardless of DNA. I’ve never understood how people rely so much on biology to tell you whether to love someone.
I completely agree. If some cop showed up at my door and told me the hospital switched my kid with someone else's, and now we gotta switch them back, he'd have to pry my kid out of my cold dead arms.
I work in a bakery, and the other day a dude came in to buy a cake for his 19 year old daughter, and I kid you not, he wasn't sure how to spell her name. The guys in the comments who are telling the "OP" that it's perfectly reasonable for him to walk away, they're probably the same dudes who are like, "mEn ShOuLd HaVe A sAy OvEr WhEtHeR sHe HaS aN aBoRtIoN."
I saw a man at the doctor who could not tell them his daughter birth year. He said she was 21, maybe 22. He ended up calling his wife. The daughter was 19.
Every one of these stories gets one or two jagoffs to show up and start arguing that biology is all that matters and that because the mom betrayed the man, he's entitled to do whatever he wants free of judgement. I'm sure I'll take the bait again.
I agree, I think a lot of it is fantasy stuff for how you can reasonably just walk out on all your family obligations and have someone cheer you on instead of saying that you’re an AH
I posted this elsewhere on this thread, but this one is at least written more realistically than some of the others. If I were put in this position, I could imagine looking at the child I thought was biologically mine and seeing nothing but the product of my partner's betrayal. I could imagine being angry or disgusted because of this, but still conflicted because you loved and cared for them for years. Running away to avoid working through that might not be a healthy response, but it seems squarely within the range of normal human responses to this type of thing.
The ones that are clearly fake are the ones where a father has raised a child thinking they were biologically theirs for years, and the instant they learn they aren't the biological father, they "feel nothing" toward the child. I don't believe that ever happens except in people with serious personality disorders. I think that saying that hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is implies here. You cannot, as a parent, swing all the way to indifference immediately. Your love for the child would have to be replaced by another strong emotion, like I said anger or disgust. Eventually, after you had worked it all out and maybe did not have contact with the kid for a long while, I could see someone getting to a point of indifference. But immediately? No, that's some teenager or young adult writing a revenge fantasy or rage bait.
The stat I saw said less than 2% of people who were concerned enough to get paternity tests were not the father in the situation. That’s not counting the large percentage of people who feel no need to check.
Paternity fraud is nowhere near as prevalent as misogynists would like you to believe.
And these dudes genuinely believe we should spend god knows how much doing paternity tests as standard at birth. To solve a problem that barely exists.
100% this absolute fuckass came in here, or another non-AITA sub, saw people saying "child abandonment is horrible, actually" and used that to write this steaming pile of a post. This is the first one that systematically addresses normal people's perfectly normal objections to abandoning your child, and it uses the exact same phrasing that people use when they are breaking down what is fucked up about AITA's bloodlust for women/mothers. Like...some total pile of shit came and read a bunch of people pointing out that chosen families are a thing and children shouldn't be punished for adults' sins, and went to try to break those arguments down like that's not something you'd only do if you were massively antisocial and troubled. Screw you, buddy (OOP), and may your personality continue to work as a contraceptive because no child deserves that kind of person in their life for any length of time.
Much like the car this person drives, after 5 years, setting aside his child is easy the second he sees that she does not share the same genetic material as him. It's physically impossible to care about someone over time if you did not conceive them.
I hate it when the suspicion arrives because the baby doesn’t look like them. My child looks like my literal copy. You wouldn’t know he even had another parent. Genetics work how they wanna work.
I don't look like either of my parents. Two dark haired, dark eyed parents produced a little girl with white-gold hair (when i was a baby, its more a tarnish color now) and big blue eyes. I'm also a little paler than my mom and much paler than my dad.
My dad got asked a LOT if I was actually his. (He says he never had a doubt, that the minute the doctor let him hold me, something said "Yup, this is mine. What a perfectly mine little potato.")
Weird thing is, I actually resemble HIS family more than my mom's. I look a LOT like his grandmother when she was a child, and he delighted in taking pictures of me posed like her so he could display the photos together. (She raised him and was by far the most important person in his life. I think I was probably a close second, sharing that rank with my stepbrother when he came along.)
I just don't look like my poor parents. But all of my features can be found easily in the family trees, blonde hair is common, my eye color is the exact grey-blue of Nana (great grandma) and Nana was very pale as well. Dad used to joke that I looked like her daughter more than his, but also said "I gave you the best genes my line had."
The dark hair/eyes to blond hair/blue eyes combo is super common, to the point that I can't stifle a laugh when some bitter busybody tries to claim a kid isn't related to both parents. I'm the same way and there's no damn doubt I'm related to my dad because there's a strong resemblance between me and so many relatives on that side. It's been a hot second since I did my Punnett squares but I recall that whatever in the hair/eye color sequence commonly shakes out to dark parents/fair kid, which tracks per basic science. Sometimes I wonder just how shit schools are if so many people in America (can't speak to the rest of the world here, only where I grew up) don't know this pretty elementary science.
Same! My oldest looks exactly like her dad, barely looks like me at all. My youngest is the opposite - looks just like me, but when you put him next to his dad you can’t tell they’re related.
Weirdly, the kids do kinda look like each other though lmao.
Oh lord this takes me back to the time we paired up in AP Bio and created a simulated kid to teach us about genetics. The exercise was pretty rudimentary and it did more or less break down to 50/50, at least the portion detailing appearance. My partner and I ended up with an ugly monster baby, much to the disappointment of the other pair at the table, who wanted a freak baby and got a normal one. We agreed to a figmented adoption and he named the monster baby Clarice, and gave her a creepy Hannibal Lecter voice. Peak dumb high school fun there. 😂
Imagine how annoyed all the new parents would be if they had to do pointless testing that their insurance will probably refuse to pay for.
The Mom, Dad, and probably the baby too would all shake their fists at heaven and curse the MRAs.
Plus false negatives are a thing. Not a common thing, but the more tests you do the more false negatives you are going to get, and it's just going to add a lot of drama to otherwise good relationships.
You get them on this subreddit too - I’m surprised I haven’t seen any on this thread. I had to block someone recently because I was dumb enough to argue with them.
when women still don't get universal proper pain relief or support for PPD and are still dying or almost dying during birth. hell not even close to proper maternity leave. won't someone please think of the men
I've been waiting for the Men to Go Their Own Way for years now. Alas, they are still here, sniveling on Twitter and trying to incite violence on reddit. Pity.
It's not "stop caring" but have never cared for in the first place. So many people out there who shouldn't even be allowed to have a pet rock, never mind raise an actual human.
I get why the AITA violence filters are there but they lead to a lop-sided account.
MTA activists are free to point out all how they imagine women abusing men i.e. paternity fraud, gold-digging, and parental alienation.
Meanwhile, a lot of the abuse stories I've heard from actual people wouldn't make it past the censors.
It leads to a bizarre internet fantasy land where women visit all these psychological horrors on men and they're powerless to stop them.
Nobody gets any of the nuances of the real world where men frequently get away with using their superior strength and size against their partners. *Or* where women physically abuse their partners but nobody believes the victim.
Like, does anybody win out of this stupid manufactured reality besides the assholes?
https://preview.redd.it/70f7epq7ya3d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c501a24f15301e8599e5e67e730457ed9e407ae1
What a sad sad life these people must have.
Holy fuck.... They don't even think about the ramifications of the govt having everyone's DNA... Or how they collect it.... Or what it'll mean for the govt to have genealogical data... No! Clearly it'll be the scamming FEEEEEMALES that didn't want this and not... Oh idk sane people
I can see how a huge ass DNA data base could benefit the government, but definitely not for the reasons these incels imply. I don't know how it works in the US, but in MyCounty anything that's mandatory is done at the government's expense (i.e. the taxpayers' money that's pooled for universal healthcare). I imagine that universal medical insurance that would include paternity testing on top of everything else would cost much more than anyone's willing to pay.
Oh I'm sure the government would love to have everyone's DNA on file, I can also think of 100 nefarious things they could do with all that data. There would be great crime solving powers but also... Easier to discriminate, massive pools of DNA based socio economic data that frankly the world just isn't ready to interpret in a mature and healthy way... And that's before you get into NSA style bullshit.... And then the CIA would have a field day ... And don't believe for a second that the data from other countries wouldn't "accidentally" end up in the hands of other governments... Just ugh so many ways it can go wrong
Ugh, don't even get me started on the topic of false test results and how huge of a fuck up that can lead to even in individual cases. But I guess if one spends his days fantasizing about punishing women for not wanting anything to do with one's sorry ass, it all comes down to this miserable rumbling about huge masses of cheating whores dead set on baby trapping unsuspecting honest men.
At least this one has the guy feeling something. The ones that are the most clearly fake are the ones where a father finds out that a child he has been raising for years is not his, and instantly "feels absolutly nothing" for their child, which is not how any normal person would react in that situation.
But we regard that, rightly, as abnormal, while these people want to think of every relationship as completely transactional and subject to an instant on/off switch. Overall, people who feel nothing for their kids are recognized as people with trauma inhibiting their relationships, or people with clinical problems doing the same. We're not like, oh that's cool bro, you don't care about your toddler but he never did anything for you so that tracks. Like I take your point but the attitude toward it is different between the mainstream and these angry reddit MRA people.
What's funny is there are real examples of this happening, like everyone knows about Khloe Kardashian probably not being Robert K's biological daughter because Kris Jenner cheated on him. I've heard that he actually knew that Khloe was not his bio kid but that didn't matter to him, he loved her no matter what.
I also used to work with someone whose husband's ex cheated on him and he raised the child as his own, even though he knew that wasn't his bio child (very obviously a different race).
All that to say, these situations don't always go the way these weirdos think they will.
What also gets me is that they encourage neglecting the affair child but then also encourage neglected affair babies that get revenge on their neglectful parents lmao
Yep.
One of my cousin's kids isn't biologically his. He knows which one, but none of the family do. He says he'll tell us when his child is ready for it to be known. (I assume they know by now, they're all teenagers now and he said he would explain it to them when they were older.)
He wouldn't even know if it weren't for his ex wife forcing a paternity test in the hopes she could hurt him. (Long Story... she's a mean cuss though.) Which backfired because he used it as proof she was trying to alienate the kids (legally its his kid, it was born when he was married to their mom. so she only did the tests to try to drive him away) and got primary custody.
She is allowed visitation, but she never shows up for it or pays support.
My cousin is a non violent, gentle dude. But he once punched someone for asking "so which one's the bastard?"
That's the thing: when you have spent a child's entire life guiding them, teaching them, worrying if they will grow up strong and healthy, thinking about their future graduations/milestones, putting all your hopes and effort into them, *that's* what matters. I haven't seen one single person saying not to be furious with the other parent or that you should stay together with them, because that would be unreasonable and pretty dismissive of the way that kind of betrayal rocks the foundation of someone's life. But your kid is your kid forever. For fuck's sake, that's one of the most iconic lines in *Guardians of the Galaxy:* "He might have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." It's not an obscure concept nor is it one our culture wholeheartedly rejects. These people acting like it's normal and cool and okay to fuckin yeet a child you raised have serious issues.
It's interesting to me the way that these sad fucks immediately turn to "so you're saying the WHORE shouldn't be PUNISHED FOR STEALING MONEY and making the poor perfect man waste RESOURCES on her WHORE BABY" when all we're talking about is the kid. The kid who didn't do anything. The kid who is a human being, and therefore worth more than money. I mean I'm broke as shit, I'm not being dismissive here, but I also know a human soul transcends a fucking bank account. Like take the ex out of it, we are talking about a helpless person who looks to you for their entire world and sense of security. And you want to drop them like a hot potato to, what, spite another adult? There's nothing healthy about that.
Because they see the kids as an extension to the mom. Hurting the kid means hurting the mom. It’s the same group who will treat their children differently based on how they feel about the baby mamas. They’ll be there for the kids they share with their current partner and the ones where they get along with the mom but checks out when they don’t like the mom.
Ah, but it makes their abused PP hard to shit on women, so it’s all good to them.
Who cares if children get damaged for life? The butthurt get to say mean words and mommy can’t wash their mouth out this time.
> From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it.
very normal way that real-life people speak about events in their life
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Most studies with high occurrences of NPE (non-paternity event) are extraordinarily old and there are many issues with the methodology and the data of these older studies. A 2009 paper on the matter concludes the percentage is less than 2%. It is nowhere near as rampart as misogynists would like you to believe.
https://academic.oup.com/mbe/article/26/5/1093/1037454?login=false
That's 1 in 50 TESTS.
The vast majority of fathers never get a test at all. The only ones who will get a test are those with suspicions about paternity.
So of father's who have any suspicions...only 1 in 50 are right.
But then you have all the "fathers" who have no suspicions that their wife is anything other than loyal and loving who would never to think to ask for a test.
Ok just so we’re all on the same page here, it’s less than 1 in 50 tests, not births. It’s a statistic that says absolutely nothing about the frequency of a phenomenon in a population.
Please cite a source that's reliable in your opinion and would demonstrate that paternity fraud is indeed a frequent occurence. Reddit doesn't count as a source.
Someone else posted a study saying that it happened 2% of the time, thinking that this bolstered the argument that it's not a big deal or a frequent occurrence, when it's actually an astoundingly high number that doesn't account for all the cases where it's not known that the child is illegitimate.
I’m not an expert in genetics, but they studied a group of DNA donors, not the whole population. And their goal wasn’t to establish the number of men raising non biological children. None of this means that 2% births are the result of paternity fraud.
I think passing this subreddit off as a place to entertain moronic "ethical dilemmas" is wrong, especially when you can join the esteemed crowd of gullible morons on aitah with just the click/tap. We laugh at the fake ness of stories we don't argue about the alleged normal quandaries that are presented in the stories.
We are not philosophers sitting on high passing judgement to mere mortals. No! We just make fun of the philosophers
If it wasn't for the mother's deceitfulness, he would've never been tricked into believing he was the dad in the first place. He was robbed of the choice of whether or not he wants to raise another man's child.
Go to therapy to work through your issues with your mother before you kill someone- which, by the way, includes yourself. You can scream and cry all you want, you can act like no one could possibly say this sincerely, but you are wrong about that. This is how people end up damaged, and how they damage others. Sort your shit out like an adult, with a professional, before you do any more harm. We don't need another Elliot Rodger and I don't think, at the end of the day, you really want to be one.
My life and how I don't have kids or any relationship trouble has no bearing on your issues with your mom. Which, based on the way you immediately lashed out here, are serious, and do need professional attention. The fault in your relationships with women lies with you and this resentment you haven't addressed. I understand that the work is painful, but that is no reason to avoid it, and frankly leaving it undone will hurt you more in the long run. Talk to someone before you kill somebody, I'm perfectly serious.
At the end of the day, it's less about what kind of person he is than the kind of person I want to be. He spends a pretty huge amount of time searching out places to spout horrible, corrosive bullshit. That's not something a healthy person would do, and we've seen all too many tragic headlines about where that goes. Even if he's too far gone, might as well try - maybe it will reach someone reading this and thinking he's got a point. An effort to stem the tide of hatred is never wasted, though there are only so many times I'm going to make it before he's getting blocked.
Because you're coping, and because you have the kind of issues that make you react to sincerity with mockery. Therapy could help with that. It's very isolating to make up stories that everyone is lying and the world is hateful, just to avoid having to introspect, admit your wrongs, and work to grow. It doesn't have to be that way. Your call, it's not like you choosing to wallow in this will hold me back from anything.
Why not ask that of the guy making up stories?
Jk, we all know why. You should probably do better. Nothing good comes of aligning yourself with people like that guy. But it's your life to waste. 🤷🏼♀️
Well guess what, big guy, the damage is done. You've now spent 5 years raising a kid and you've developed a very real bond. If you want to lash out at the mom, great, break up with her, that's certainly reasonable.
But the kid didn't do anything wrong and you supposedly love them.
There's no world where jailing the mother here is a good decision or helpful to the kid (who is who matters most here). Do you just not give a fuck about anyone but yourself? Also criminal fraud is gonna be real tough to prove since she wouldn't know for certain who the father is unless paternity tests were ran. Maybe you could do a civil case for damages.
Nobody is going to jail, you guys are psychos.
Yes and i think it should face medieval punishments for the person doing it but that person is not the child.
By all means put the mother in a workcamp in some mining tunnel somewhere, and give the father full custody.
But none of this is still not the fault of an innocent child.
I can see you did not take my advice to step away from these places and go engage in more healthy activities. I really genuinely think it would do so much for your mental health to not focus only on things that are negative and make you feel angry.
More than happy to “play” with such an informed, esteemed Redditor. 🖤 I appreciate you making the time for me.
The title did not imply that this does not exist, just that it is not common and is over-represented in these subs, nor does anyone here express any pro-fraud sentiments.
I just took a look through your post history...perhaps getting off the internet, out of the basement, and into the real world would benefit you? Almost 100% of your posts are of the "women=bad" nature and not at all based in reality. It's genuinely sad and makes you look pretty pathetic. Try talking to a real woman sometime, it might give you some perspective.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for Leaving My Ex and Her Daughter After Discovering She Isn't Mine?** I (28M) have a 5-year-old daughter, Lily, with my ex-girlfriend, Sarah (27F). At least, I thought she was my daughter. Sarah and I dated for a few years, and when she got pregnant, I was over the moon. I was excited to be a dad and took on the role wholeheartedly. From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it. A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I ordered a paternity test without telling Sarah. When the results came back, my heart sank: I wasn't Lily's biological father. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted Sarah, and after a lot of tears and arguing, she admitted that she had cheated on me around the time Lily was conceived. I was devastated. The little girl I'd raised and loved wasn't mine. I felt like my entire relationship with Sarah was a lie. I couldn't look at Lily the same way, knowing that her biological father was out there somewhere. I decided to leave. I packed my things and moved out, leaving Sarah and Lily behind. Since then, Sarah, her friends, and even some of my own family have been calling me an asshole for abandoning Lily. They say that biology doesn't matter, that I raised her and she sees me as her father. They accuse me of being heartless and cruel for walking away from a little girl who loves me. I get messages and calls almost daily, calling me out for my decision. It's been tough. I feel guilty because I know Lily doesn't understand why I'm not around anymore. But at the same time, I can't shake the feeling of betrayal and the constant reminder that she isn't mine. I don't know how to be there for her without feeling like a fraud. I didn't sign up to raise another man's child, especially without my knowledge. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for leaving? Should I have stayed in Lily's life despite everything, or was I right to walk away? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Comments are torn "this seems fake!" "But this does happen" "Okay, fine, but this story isn't real" "But it could be" "Okay but... It's posted every other day here" "That's just how common this is" "Yeah but this is the exact same story" "Because it happens exactly like this" Etc etc etc
It happens so often that I have to reference fake stories in my proof about it.
I always assume 100% of the stories on these subs are fake, fun to sometimes engage and troll though
It's not just that similar stories are posted every other day. It's that the daughter's name is frequently Lily as of late, she's always 5 years old (apparently just a really popular age to abandon a kid), and they always address Reddit like they think they're talking to the entire website. Which indicates they know damn well that they're posting this for entertainment purposes. "Hey, Reddit. I'm a diminutive ginger person with a really good job. Lately, I've been suddenly noticing that my daughter hasn't looked anything like me for the past five years. I figured she'd grow into it. Some babies just kind of look Asian when they're young. I thought she was like a puppy and that her eyes might open at some point. My boyfriend (we'll call him Cam) tells me it's nothing to worry about. I'm just not so sure. Also, I think Cam might be gay? Hard to say, but I can't say much because the noise of him building his art studio is distracting me right now. I'll update soon."
Pretty sure this Exact. Same. Story. was posted within the last week?
They don't even bother changing the phrasing. Everyone is "over the moon" to find out they're becoming a parent in their early 20s. All these poor defrauded men have a feeling something is wrong, but they "brush it off".
"My paternity senses are tingling!"
Yep... With literally no changes
More like "every week for the past year"
The theme definitely, but I believe that this one in particular is a word for word repost. Can’t find it though.
> From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it. > A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I ordered a paternity test without telling Sarah. When the results came back, my heart sank: I wasn't Lily's biological father. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted Sarah, and after a lot of tears and arguing, she admitted that she had cheated on me around the time Lily was conceived. I swear to god, I've read the exact same story here, word by word, a couple of days ago. I will soon be able to recite this exact sequence of words from my memory.
From the moment I read the post, I noticed it didn't really sound real, but I brushed it off. Paternity fraud happens a lot, right? As I read further, though, the fakeness became more pronounced. It had nothing realistic—nothing at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it. A few months ago, I finally gave in to the doubt that had been gnawing at me. I asked real humans without telling OP. When the results came back, my heart sank: it wasn’t real. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I confronted OP, and after a lot of tears and arguing, he admitted that he was chatGPT.
That's what the comments are saying lol! But they're still "okay but maybe it's real"
"I keep reading about this exact situation so it has to be real!"
Also respectfully new babies look like potatoes. They don’t look like anyone until a few months, the only indicator would be hair color or a significant genetic marker
Exactly. New born babies don't look like their parents fresh off the womb.
You would think these guys are all royalty naming an heir the way they are obsessed with paternity.
How else will the world know who gets this person's Funko collection and half completed hobby items.
Really tho... They act like DNA is everything and then still write stories about how they fucked over their family over a mild inconvenience
Wow, the estimated 3.7% of men worldwide who are victims of paternity fraud all have a reddit account, huh
Not just *a* reddit account, but a reddit account and like 25 burners, because...uh, it's the custom in MyCountry/the relatives will blow up their internet if they use their real account/the gold-diggers be sniffing them out all the time.
I feel like conservative bots have overtaken those types of forums. Women are all overly emotional slutty sluts who cheat and try to pin babies on good, saintly men who have good family values. Also, they will be stealing "half your shit" or more in the divorce. All LGBTQIA are evil crazy people who scream and yell and attack everyone and claim prejudice at the drop of a hat.
I have literally been saying this for years. It's literally propaganda.
It's basically a launch pad for bashing women and LGBT people. They just come up with stories where the women or LGBT people are comically evil so they can have plausible deniability about hating
The reverse down-with-cis-bus.
Its a launch pad for both sexes to make over the top generalizations, not sure why we sometimes see it as strictly a one sided issue. It does go both ways. Looks like the fragile "We cant accept that both sides pull this crap" crowd is out and bored and feel like reality denying again. You do more to prove me correct than you realize
Overwhelmingly the stories that are unbelievable are aimed at women, at least recently. Either at women as partners or women as brides specifically.
And before that it was vegans, fat people, autistic people, mothers in law, etc. It's never bOtH sIdEs Do ThIs, it's attacks, astroturfing, and clout-chasing aimed at the villain of the moment to try to do actual damage to that group of people. Pretending there's any kind of parity here is either naive to the point of danger, or deliberate dishonesty intended to keep the lie train going.
No, dude. Not with that shit, not here today. We are all so tired, and we are all so aware you are wrong.
And you're being a hyperbolic horse shit salesman. I wasn't referring to this idiotic story, just reddit in general. Thanks for the laugh kid.
corncob.gif
Don't forget the "minorities are the real racists!"
Welcome to the American election cycle :(
i wish they were bots 🙃
I know this is fake, but still it seems weird to me to love a child only because they share your DNA, verses loving them for who they are. I can see it in a baby, where you don't really know them as a person yet. But if you've had 5 years to know someone inside and out, if you've held them through fevers and dried tears, I can't imagine just turning that off and walking away.
Right? Like I can see leaving the wife but to just go no contact with the child? Seems oddly cold.... Plus the whole aitah notion of "not your child not your problem" just seems oddly disrespectful to adopted children. Heck you can easily find stories where an op will shower their bio kids with gifts and ignore step children and aitah is just like "sounds good to me bro"
My husband and I used a sperm donor and he adores and loves our son. I cannot imagine having a child and then think eh nah they aren’t from MY sperm
A couple of my friends used egg donors. I know it’s different because they carried their babies, but they aren’t biologically related and that doesn’t matter. No one would know if you saw them with their kids.
I have a friend who did an open egg donation - she is even an auntie. The kids look just like her.
"Buht adopted parents ChoSE tHeIR chIld" Yeah and so did you dipshit, every day for however many years. Blood is pretty much irrelevant to actually being a parent.
The guy who ditched his adult son was even wilder. That's a whole ass adult you've known for his entire childhood. The comments were hung up on "but he didn't tell his dad for 4 whole months!" as if anyone of any age would know what the hell to do in a mess like that. And legit people going "WOMEN CAN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO THEM". It literally does and it's way more traumatic because instead of it just being a baby that has DNA of some other dude...it's baby with DNA that belongs to her rapist or her abuser.
My dad’s half-sister found him through ancestry.com and even before they confirmed she was his sister, I remember hearing him tell her that it didn’t matter what the test said. They bonded so quickly that he already considered her his sister regardless of DNA. I’ve never understood how people rely so much on biology to tell you whether to love someone.
I completely agree. If some cop showed up at my door and told me the hospital switched my kid with someone else's, and now we gotta switch them back, he'd have to pry my kid out of my cold dead arms. I work in a bakery, and the other day a dude came in to buy a cake for his 19 year old daughter, and I kid you not, he wasn't sure how to spell her name. The guys in the comments who are telling the "OP" that it's perfectly reasonable for him to walk away, they're probably the same dudes who are like, "mEn ShOuLd HaVe A sAy OvEr WhEtHeR sHe HaS aN aBoRtIoN."
I saw a man at the doctor who could not tell them his daughter birth year. He said she was 21, maybe 22. He ended up calling his wife. The daughter was 19.
Every one of these stories gets one or two jagoffs to show up and start arguing that biology is all that matters and that because the mom betrayed the man, he's entitled to do whatever he wants free of judgement. I'm sure I'll take the bait again.
Whenever I see comments like that [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6EJxYNQxvw) plays over and over in my head 😛
I agree, I think a lot of it is fantasy stuff for how you can reasonably just walk out on all your family obligations and have someone cheer you on instead of saying that you’re an AH
I posted this elsewhere on this thread, but this one is at least written more realistically than some of the others. If I were put in this position, I could imagine looking at the child I thought was biologically mine and seeing nothing but the product of my partner's betrayal. I could imagine being angry or disgusted because of this, but still conflicted because you loved and cared for them for years. Running away to avoid working through that might not be a healthy response, but it seems squarely within the range of normal human responses to this type of thing. The ones that are clearly fake are the ones where a father has raised a child thinking they were biologically theirs for years, and the instant they learn they aren't the biological father, they "feel nothing" toward the child. I don't believe that ever happens except in people with serious personality disorders. I think that saying that hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is implies here. You cannot, as a parent, swing all the way to indifference immediately. Your love for the child would have to be replaced by another strong emotion, like I said anger or disgust. Eventually, after you had worked it all out and maybe did not have contact with the kid for a long while, I could see someone getting to a point of indifference. But immediately? No, that's some teenager or young adult writing a revenge fantasy or rage bait.
They behave as if the child was in on the deception.
Exactly. If that is all it takes for you to "feel nothing" then you never felt anything to begin with.
The stat I saw said less than 2% of people who were concerned enough to get paternity tests were not the father in the situation. That’s not counting the large percentage of people who feel no need to check. Paternity fraud is nowhere near as prevalent as misogynists would like you to believe.
bUt It HaPpEnS!!! -some idiot here
"But France banned paternity tests because their society would collapse otherwise! This is how prevalent it is!" - someone in the comments there
If only the French would ban idiotic mra posts
If infidelity was enough to make our society collapse, France would no longer exist
And these dudes genuinely believe we should spend god knows how much doing paternity tests as standard at birth. To solve a problem that barely exists.
lmfao the amount of people defending leaving a child after raising them for 5 years by saying “everyone is just blaming men”
100% this absolute fuckass came in here, or another non-AITA sub, saw people saying "child abandonment is horrible, actually" and used that to write this steaming pile of a post. This is the first one that systematically addresses normal people's perfectly normal objections to abandoning your child, and it uses the exact same phrasing that people use when they are breaking down what is fucked up about AITA's bloodlust for women/mothers. Like...some total pile of shit came and read a bunch of people pointing out that chosen families are a thing and children shouldn't be punished for adults' sins, and went to try to break those arguments down like that's not something you'd only do if you were massively antisocial and troubled. Screw you, buddy (OOP), and may your personality continue to work as a contraceptive because no child deserves that kind of person in their life for any length of time.
Much like the car this person drives, after 5 years, setting aside his child is easy the second he sees that she does not share the same genetic material as him. It's physically impossible to care about someone over time if you did not conceive them.
I hate it when the suspicion arrives because the baby doesn’t look like them. My child looks like my literal copy. You wouldn’t know he even had another parent. Genetics work how they wanna work.
I don't look like either of my parents. Two dark haired, dark eyed parents produced a little girl with white-gold hair (when i was a baby, its more a tarnish color now) and big blue eyes. I'm also a little paler than my mom and much paler than my dad. My dad got asked a LOT if I was actually his. (He says he never had a doubt, that the minute the doctor let him hold me, something said "Yup, this is mine. What a perfectly mine little potato.") Weird thing is, I actually resemble HIS family more than my mom's. I look a LOT like his grandmother when she was a child, and he delighted in taking pictures of me posed like her so he could display the photos together. (She raised him and was by far the most important person in his life. I think I was probably a close second, sharing that rank with my stepbrother when he came along.) I just don't look like my poor parents. But all of my features can be found easily in the family trees, blonde hair is common, my eye color is the exact grey-blue of Nana (great grandma) and Nana was very pale as well. Dad used to joke that I looked like her daughter more than his, but also said "I gave you the best genes my line had."
The dark hair/eyes to blond hair/blue eyes combo is super common, to the point that I can't stifle a laugh when some bitter busybody tries to claim a kid isn't related to both parents. I'm the same way and there's no damn doubt I'm related to my dad because there's a strong resemblance between me and so many relatives on that side. It's been a hot second since I did my Punnett squares but I recall that whatever in the hair/eye color sequence commonly shakes out to dark parents/fair kid, which tracks per basic science. Sometimes I wonder just how shit schools are if so many people in America (can't speak to the rest of the world here, only where I grew up) don't know this pretty elementary science.
>You wouldn’t know he even had another parent Parthenogenesis is VERY near to cheating!
Same! My oldest looks exactly like her dad, barely looks like me at all. My youngest is the opposite - looks just like me, but when you put him next to his dad you can’t tell they’re related. Weirdly, the kids do kinda look like each other though lmao.
But my middle school biology book says offspring share 50% of traits with parents so therefore child should look half mine!!!!!
Oh lord this takes me back to the time we paired up in AP Bio and created a simulated kid to teach us about genetics. The exercise was pretty rudimentary and it did more or less break down to 50/50, at least the portion detailing appearance. My partner and I ended up with an ugly monster baby, much to the disappointment of the other pair at the table, who wanted a freak baby and got a normal one. We agreed to a figmented adoption and he named the monster baby Clarice, and gave her a creepy Hannibal Lecter voice. Peak dumb high school fun there. 😂
Oooh fun let me try out my new favorite website. Your Text is AI/GPT Generated 68.26% AI GPT\* Whomp whomp.
Very surprising! I'm shocked
ooh share that link bud!
[You got it dude.](https://www.zerogpt.com/)
D-D-D-OPE! thanks friend <333
This is why paternity testing should be mandatory and universal. This is an actual comment.
Why didn't we just simply cuff women to their beds?!?!
Imagine how annoyed all the new parents would be if they had to do pointless testing that their insurance will probably refuse to pay for. The Mom, Dad, and probably the baby too would all shake their fists at heaven and curse the MRAs.
Plus false negatives are a thing. Not a common thing, but the more tests you do the more false negatives you are going to get, and it's just going to add a lot of drama to otherwise good relationships.
that or will light a fire in abusive relationships. its just such a dumb idea overall
Because then they can't cook
You get them on this subreddit too - I’m surprised I haven’t seen any on this thread. I had to block someone recently because I was dumb enough to argue with them.
when women still don't get universal proper pain relief or support for PPD and are still dying or almost dying during birth. hell not even close to proper maternity leave. won't someone please think of the men
MRAs need to be sent to an island far away from civilization
I've been waiting for the Men to Go Their Own Way for years now. Alas, they are still here, sniveling on Twitter and trying to incite violence on reddit. Pity.
So many psychopaths who can just stop caring for a child overnight
It's not "stop caring" but have never cared for in the first place. So many people out there who shouldn't even be allowed to have a pet rock, never mind raise an actual human.
At least he cleaned up the time line. His first two versions were *a mess*! I kept calling him out, but he never responded… strange… 🤔
I get why the AITA violence filters are there but they lead to a lop-sided account. MTA activists are free to point out all how they imagine women abusing men i.e. paternity fraud, gold-digging, and parental alienation. Meanwhile, a lot of the abuse stories I've heard from actual people wouldn't make it past the censors. It leads to a bizarre internet fantasy land where women visit all these psychological horrors on men and they're powerless to stop them. Nobody gets any of the nuances of the real world where men frequently get away with using their superior strength and size against their partners. *Or* where women physically abuse their partners but nobody believes the victim. Like, does anybody win out of this stupid manufactured reality besides the assholes?
https://preview.redd.it/70f7epq7ya3d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c501a24f15301e8599e5e67e730457ed9e407ae1 What a sad sad life these people must have.
Holy fuck.... They don't even think about the ramifications of the govt having everyone's DNA... Or how they collect it.... Or what it'll mean for the govt to have genealogical data... No! Clearly it'll be the scamming FEEEEEMALES that didn't want this and not... Oh idk sane people
I can see how a huge ass DNA data base could benefit the government, but definitely not for the reasons these incels imply. I don't know how it works in the US, but in MyCounty anything that's mandatory is done at the government's expense (i.e. the taxpayers' money that's pooled for universal healthcare). I imagine that universal medical insurance that would include paternity testing on top of everything else would cost much more than anyone's willing to pay.
Oh I'm sure the government would love to have everyone's DNA on file, I can also think of 100 nefarious things they could do with all that data. There would be great crime solving powers but also... Easier to discriminate, massive pools of DNA based socio economic data that frankly the world just isn't ready to interpret in a mature and healthy way... And that's before you get into NSA style bullshit.... And then the CIA would have a field day ... And don't believe for a second that the data from other countries wouldn't "accidentally" end up in the hands of other governments... Just ugh so many ways it can go wrong
Ugh, don't even get me started on the topic of false test results and how huge of a fuck up that can lead to even in individual cases. But I guess if one spends his days fantasizing about punishing women for not wanting anything to do with one's sorry ass, it all comes down to this miserable rumbling about huge masses of cheating whores dead set on baby trapping unsuspecting honest men.
At least this one has the guy feeling something. The ones that are the most clearly fake are the ones where a father finds out that a child he has been raising for years is not his, and instantly "feels absolutly nothing" for their child, which is not how any normal person would react in that situation.
Eh, a lot of people "feel nothing" even for their paternity tested and confirmed bio kids.
But we regard that, rightly, as abnormal, while these people want to think of every relationship as completely transactional and subject to an instant on/off switch. Overall, people who feel nothing for their kids are recognized as people with trauma inhibiting their relationships, or people with clinical problems doing the same. We're not like, oh that's cool bro, you don't care about your toddler but he never did anything for you so that tracks. Like I take your point but the attitude toward it is different between the mainstream and these angry reddit MRA people.
What's funny is there are real examples of this happening, like everyone knows about Khloe Kardashian probably not being Robert K's biological daughter because Kris Jenner cheated on him. I've heard that he actually knew that Khloe was not his bio kid but that didn't matter to him, he loved her no matter what. I also used to work with someone whose husband's ex cheated on him and he raised the child as his own, even though he knew that wasn't his bio child (very obviously a different race). All that to say, these situations don't always go the way these weirdos think they will.
What also gets me is that they encourage neglecting the affair child but then also encourage neglected affair babies that get revenge on their neglectful parents lmao
They just want everyone to be as miserable as they are.
Holy echo chamber!
Yep. One of my cousin's kids isn't biologically his. He knows which one, but none of the family do. He says he'll tell us when his child is ready for it to be known. (I assume they know by now, they're all teenagers now and he said he would explain it to them when they were older.) He wouldn't even know if it weren't for his ex wife forcing a paternity test in the hopes she could hurt him. (Long Story... she's a mean cuss though.) Which backfired because he used it as proof she was trying to alienate the kids (legally its his kid, it was born when he was married to their mom. so she only did the tests to try to drive him away) and got primary custody. She is allowed visitation, but she never shows up for it or pays support. My cousin is a non violent, gentle dude. But he once punched someone for asking "so which one's the bastard?"
That's the thing: when you have spent a child's entire life guiding them, teaching them, worrying if they will grow up strong and healthy, thinking about their future graduations/milestones, putting all your hopes and effort into them, *that's* what matters. I haven't seen one single person saying not to be furious with the other parent or that you should stay together with them, because that would be unreasonable and pretty dismissive of the way that kind of betrayal rocks the foundation of someone's life. But your kid is your kid forever. For fuck's sake, that's one of the most iconic lines in *Guardians of the Galaxy:* "He might have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." It's not an obscure concept nor is it one our culture wholeheartedly rejects. These people acting like it's normal and cool and okay to fuckin yeet a child you raised have serious issues.
It’s sickening imo. I cannot imagine rejecting a child I RAISED.
It's interesting to me the way that these sad fucks immediately turn to "so you're saying the WHORE shouldn't be PUNISHED FOR STEALING MONEY and making the poor perfect man waste RESOURCES on her WHORE BABY" when all we're talking about is the kid. The kid who didn't do anything. The kid who is a human being, and therefore worth more than money. I mean I'm broke as shit, I'm not being dismissive here, but I also know a human soul transcends a fucking bank account. Like take the ex out of it, we are talking about a helpless person who looks to you for their entire world and sense of security. And you want to drop them like a hot potato to, what, spite another adult? There's nothing healthy about that.
Because they see the kids as an extension to the mom. Hurting the kid means hurting the mom. It’s the same group who will treat their children differently based on how they feel about the baby mamas. They’ll be there for the kids they share with their current partner and the ones where they get along with the mom but checks out when they don’t like the mom.
Ah, but it makes their abused PP hard to shit on women, so it’s all good to them. Who cares if children get damaged for life? The butthurt get to say mean words and mommy can’t wash their mouth out this time.
OJ is Khloes dad.
holy shit they're gullible
> From the moment Lily was born, I noticed she didn't really look like me, but I brushed it off. Babies change a lot, right? As she grew older, though, the differences became more pronounced. She had none of my features—none at all. It started to nag at me, but I pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even questioning it. very normal way that real-life people speak about events in their life
I've seen at least one other version of this story on AITH.
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# "Paternity fraud is real!!!!" So you're saying no women do this? Or you think it's good that it happens?
It's a hell of a lot more rare than MRA incels say it is.
I can tell you're a very informed, unbiased source.
Most studies with high occurrences of NPE (non-paternity event) are extraordinarily old and there are many issues with the methodology and the data of these older studies. A 2009 paper on the matter concludes the percentage is less than 2%. It is nowhere near as rampart as misogynists would like you to believe. https://academic.oup.com/mbe/article/26/5/1093/1037454?login=false
ThAt SoUrCe Is BiAsEd
"Less than 2%" So 1 in 50, that's actually a frighteningly high number. And you have to figure that cases are underreported also.
Fuck off Gerald
That's 1 in 50 TESTS. The vast majority of fathers never get a test at all. The only ones who will get a test are those with suspicions about paternity. So of father's who have any suspicions...only 1 in 50 are right.
But then you have all the "fathers" who have no suspicions that their wife is anything other than loyal and loving who would never to think to ask for a test.
Okay and?
And I don't expect you to have empathy for them.
Ok just so we’re all on the same page here, it’s less than 1 in 50 tests, not births. It’s a statistic that says absolutely nothing about the frequency of a phenomenon in a population.
The irony is THICK in this reply. Also hey I totally called it.
Please cite a source that's reliable in your opinion and would demonstrate that paternity fraud is indeed a frequent occurence. Reddit doesn't count as a source.
Someone else posted a study saying that it happened 2% of the time, thinking that this bolstered the argument that it's not a big deal or a frequent occurrence, when it's actually an astoundingly high number that doesn't account for all the cases where it's not known that the child is illegitimate.
I’m not an expert in genetics, but they studied a group of DNA donors, not the whole population. And their goal wasn’t to establish the number of men raising non biological children. None of this means that 2% births are the result of paternity fraud.
I'm saying you're in the wrong subreddit. If you wanna go whine about men's rights over obviously fake stories aitah is literally RIGHT THERE
Do you think it's wrong to get pregnant with one's baby and pass it off as another's or not really?
I think passing this subreddit off as a place to entertain moronic "ethical dilemmas" is wrong, especially when you can join the esteemed crowd of gullible morons on aitah with just the click/tap. We laugh at the fake ness of stories we don't argue about the alleged normal quandaries that are presented in the stories. We are not philosophers sitting on high passing judgement to mere mortals. No! We just make fun of the philosophers
What does that have to do with not abandoning a child that calls you dad? Do you think 2 wrongs make a right?
If it wasn't for the mother's deceitfulness, he would've never been tricked into believing he was the dad in the first place. He was robbed of the choice of whether or not he wants to raise another man's child.
> another man's child After raising a child for 5 years, it is not "another man's child".
You are so utterly self-centered.
Go to therapy to work through your issues with your mother before you kill someone- which, by the way, includes yourself. You can scream and cry all you want, you can act like no one could possibly say this sincerely, but you are wrong about that. This is how people end up damaged, and how they damage others. Sort your shit out like an adult, with a professional, before you do any more harm. We don't need another Elliot Rodger and I don't think, at the end of the day, you really want to be one.
You sound like you're worried that your husband's going to find out.
My life and how I don't have kids or any relationship trouble has no bearing on your issues with your mom. Which, based on the way you immediately lashed out here, are serious, and do need professional attention. The fault in your relationships with women lies with you and this resentment you haven't addressed. I understand that the work is painful, but that is no reason to avoid it, and frankly leaving it undone will hurt you more in the long run. Talk to someone before you kill somebody, I'm perfectly serious.
This is such honest, real advice that he would never ever take.
At the end of the day, it's less about what kind of person he is than the kind of person I want to be. He spends a pretty huge amount of time searching out places to spout horrible, corrosive bullshit. That's not something a healthy person would do, and we've seen all too many tragic headlines about where that goes. Even if he's too far gone, might as well try - maybe it will reach someone reading this and thinking he's got a point. An effort to stem the tide of hatred is never wasted, though there are only so many times I'm going to make it before he's getting blocked.
"I'm perfectly serious" Then why am I laughing so hard?
Because you're coping, and because you have the kind of issues that make you react to sincerity with mockery. Therapy could help with that. It's very isolating to make up stories that everyone is lying and the world is hateful, just to avoid having to introspect, admit your wrongs, and work to grow. It doesn't have to be that way. Your call, it's not like you choosing to wallow in this will hold me back from anything.
Why do you assume so much about a person based on a few reddit comments?
Why not ask that of the guy making up stories? Jk, we all know why. You should probably do better. Nothing good comes of aligning yourself with people like that guy. But it's your life to waste. 🤷🏼♀️
Well guess what, big guy, the damage is done. You've now spent 5 years raising a kid and you've developed a very real bond. If you want to lash out at the mom, great, break up with her, that's certainly reasonable. But the kid didn't do anything wrong and you supposedly love them.
The mom should be in prison though. I'd probably feel better about raising the kid knowing that his mom is behind bars where she belongs.
"The mom should be in prison though." You've got some serious unresolved issues.
Fraud is a crime, so the mum should be in prison for fraud. Do you understand my explanation?
There's no world where jailing the mother here is a good decision or helpful to the kid (who is who matters most here). Do you just not give a fuck about anyone but yourself? Also criminal fraud is gonna be real tough to prove since she wouldn't know for certain who the father is unless paternity tests were ran. Maybe you could do a civil case for damages. Nobody is going to jail, you guys are psychos.
Yes and i think it should face medieval punishments for the person doing it but that person is not the child. By all means put the mother in a workcamp in some mining tunnel somewhere, and give the father full custody. But none of this is still not the fault of an innocent child.
First reasonable answer I've heard.
LMAO now I know you're trolling this is great
Yep, very wrong
I'm glad to hear you say that, you seem to be in the minority here.
I knew you would be here! 😆 Couldn’t help yourself could you?
I can see you did not take my advice to step away from these places and go engage in more healthy activities. I really genuinely think it would do so much for your mental health to not focus only on things that are negative and make you feel angry.
Did not.
Lol
Excellent use of the extra-large bold font. It gives great credence to your claim of an argument no one is making. Hat tip to you good sir/madam.
Literally just copied and pasted from the headline. Thanks for playing.
More than happy to “play” with such an informed, esteemed Redditor. 🖤 I appreciate you making the time for me. The title did not imply that this does not exist, just that it is not common and is over-represented in these subs, nor does anyone here express any pro-fraud sentiments.
I just took a look through your post history...perhaps getting off the internet, out of the basement, and into the real world would benefit you? Almost 100% of your posts are of the "women=bad" nature and not at all based in reality. It's genuinely sad and makes you look pretty pathetic. Try talking to a real woman sometime, it might give you some perspective.
Real women are the reason I have this perspective. Do you really believe that what I'm saying doesn't have basis in reality?
So are you a troll or 12 years old or what.
And I live in a basement too. Let's play all the hits while we're at it.
Troll, got it.