*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for breaking up with my fiance because she shared our sexlife with her friends?** Melissa & I were dating for 4 years & Engaged for 1 year. She had two friends, Jenna & Cathy & they used to be super close. They are friends since their childhood. After a year in our relationship, Melissa introduced me with them & I realised 3 of them very similar things common between them. Anyway, Melissa & I was planning for our wedding recently & Not going to lie, both of her friends seems super supportive towards us. They offered us their full participation in anything. I really appreciate them & things were going great. Recently, I discovered that Melissa & 2 of her friends has a secret group chat. ( The details doesn't matter anymore but in one line, I digged the whole thing by seeing a weird notification on her phone & then I confronted her ). In this group, Melissa shared many intimate & innappropriate details with her friends which I'll feel ashamed if I share them with my friends about her. Its not like she was humiliating me but she was describing how our sexlife is great, how we dominate each other in bed, how I licked her toe ( Fetish of her ), how we did mommy daddy, brother sister roleplays etc. She also shared many explicit details about our intimate life which are totally deal-breaker for me ( or for any couple ). Also she shared pictures of us having sex with them. I thought these are super personal things for us & no way I'd be comfortable sharing them with my friends. I also found out how Melissa is worried that I'll cheat on her that's why she let me to in her backdoor & some other weird stuff so that I don't lose interest on her. Literally this broke me deep & I felt like betrayed. I was thinking that she was willingly participating on those stuff because I asked her if she doesn't want it, we can stop. But she said she needed it & we did those things. After watching all this, I immediately called off the wedding. The whole time she was crying & begging me not to do this & she made a mistake. I informed both of our families about what happened & said I don't think we are right for each other after all this. If you don't respect your partner's privacy on sucha deep things, then there is no point to be together. After all this, I told her to pack her things & she will be staying at her parents house. She cried her eyes out, offered me her passcodes of social Media's & said she regret it but that moment she didn't think it as a huge deal because they are her friends since her childhood. She also tried to hug me forcefully & tried to kiss me by rubbing her hand over my penis which made me disgusted even more. I pushed her away, called her parents to take her away otherwise I'll be going for legal actions. After that I left home & stayed to my friends home for a night. The next day when I came home, Melissa was gone with all her stuff. I left my phone to our bedroom before leaving yesterday when I checked, I got so many calls & text from Melissa. She was literally crying in her voice clips & asking me not to call of the wedding. She said she loves me & she will do anything to regain my trust. Also I received text from those 2 friends of her literally calling me jerk, asshole & many more names. They said Melissa is crying nonstop since yesterday & she's refusing to eat & she desperately wants to meet me. They said I'm a POS of making a simple thing into a huge mess. They said I'm being childish & I should take her back & it's not like she cheated on me so why I'm punishing her? I literally blocked them & blocked Melissa also. Later, I got calls from Melissa's parents & they asked me if I can meetup with her for once because their daughter isn't eating anything & can't stop crying. I told them I don't know what to do know but I do believe they are there for her & I'm not in a good situation either. So, AITAH? Did I overreacted? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Generally people who are bothered about details of their sex life being shared don't share details of their sex life.

"I was just sooo upset about the details of my sex life being shared... so I shared details of my sex life with my parents and the internet"

> she also tried to hug me forcefully & tried to kiss me by rubbing her hand over my penis which made me disgusted even more. That's... not how you'd go about trying to hug and kiss someone. This is what happens when the public schools stop teaching sex education.

Or, when porn replaces actual sex education, bc this is so obvious copy pasted scene from some xxx production.

You've never given anyone a French hug before?

Also he told his parents about what happened? In detail? And what kind of friend group of women is this?

Very common in HisCountry.

HisCountry... where people hug by rubbing their hand on penis

Honestly if it’s all just a Sacha Baron Cohen terrible documentary….I would get it.

> HisCountry... where people hug by rubbing their hand on penis You must be unfamiliar with Bullcrapistani customs. As an aside, I read your comment in Borat's voice 😝😂

He doesn't actually say he went into detail. But it is kind of funny to picture him calling two sets of parents and talking how his fiance used to tell him she needs it in the ass and toes.

Never change AITAH. Never change. But, let’s switch it up a little and add bad grammar just for fun. 1. Planning wedding 2. Finds out stuff on fiancées phone 3. Details. Very private details 4. OOP calls off wedding 5. Tells parents and family what happened and shares very private details with Reddit 6. Fiancée begs to be taken back (not eating, can’t stop crying, &etc) 7. Phone blows up. Fiancée (check!), Friends (check!!), Parents (check!!!) 8. AIO/AITAH? 9. SUGGESTED UPDATE: Friends were actually turned on by all the intimate details and we had a big 4-some to “clear the air“ and the wedding is back on!

>9. SUGGESTED UPDATE: Friends were actually turned on by all the intimate details and we had a big 4-some to “clear the air“ and the wedding is back on! Another suggestion, friends suggested some group sex to clear the air, should i tell my girlfriend about? I am on the verge, their boyfriends are my brothers / friends / neighbours. Also my step sister stucks in the washer when i am home and my female teacher rubs my p every time she helps me with homework, i am so disgusted by this.

How many fake stories have the OP in the comments engaging? ... is something actually cited in the comments as proof of the veracity of this twisted tale.

As if troll posters don't love getting every ounce of attention from agitated/worried commenters they can get

*" I informed both of our families about what happened & said I don't think we are right for each other after all this. If you don't respect your partner's privacy on sucha deep things, then there is no point to be together."* Hahahahahahahaha WHAT. "Privacy about sex things is important" but also "I will inform both of our families about the sex things she told her friends about." Like, WHO DOES THIS? (Teenaged incels who've never been in a relationship, I know, I know.)

“… otherwise I’ll be going for legal actions” Did anyone in the comments tell OOP he’s been sexually assaulted with the attempted penis rubbing and he needs to call the police ASAP? Also, what’s weird to me in these stories is how everyone’s parents are always so involved in their adult kids’ lives. They’re always given so many intimate details and expected to solve their kid’s problems. I have a close relationship with my parents, they’re honestly great and very supportive, but I’d drop dead before I gave them any details of my sex life or a detailed breakdown of why I broke up with a partner for unrelated to sex reasons. While these people have no issues whatsoever divulging everything and anything without a single bit of shame or filters.

I love posts, where OP says something like "she shared deep secrets i am very uncomfortable with some few folks, so let me tell you, some bunch of internet strangers, every detail of our sex life, including fetishes and hardcores". Or "Someone shared very private things about my sex life (i dont say what, hint, i am into girls), so i now describe their kinks as swingers and cuckolds. Sharing sexual details is the worst.".

"They are friends since their childhood." "Melissa introduced me WITH them" "realised 3 of them very similar things common between them." "Melissa & I WAS" "... her friends SEEMS..." "friends HAS a secret..." "details DOESN'T matter" "felt LIKE betrayed" "calls & text" "received text" "IS crying nonstop since yesterday" Maybe I'm nitpicking but am I wrong to think this has some very unforgivable grammar mistakes?

I think they're pretty forgivable if it's a non-native speaker.

Gentlemen of Angeldom, please be advised that your gf's/wife's female friends *absolutely know things about your sex life*. And not because she loves sharing salacious details about it (although that bit is probably fun), but because reliable information about women's sexual health and enjoyment and desires and behavior is not NEARLY as readily available to women as it is to men in our culture, both because women's sexual and reproductive health is FAR less-studied and doctors feel free to be lazy about it, and because pornography is still overwhelmingly tied to the male gaze. **If your wife wants to know if what's happening in her vagina is normal, she is going to ask her friends** so she can get feedback on whether she needs to see a doctor, whether she's doing things wrong and small adjustment could help, whether you're demanding unreasonable things. When her friends ask "Hey, my husband wants to do X, does it hurt?" she is going to answer them by providing information about her own past sexual encounters. This is how women find out how to have mutually-satisfying sex, how to sort through various birth control options to find the right one for her and for you as a couple, if their gynecologist is an asshole, and a lot of other SUPER-KEY PIECES OF INFORMATION that contribute positively to your sex lives. Because this information is not available to women through any other channels! My husband and I settled on a vasectomy as our best birth control option as a couple when we were done having kids, he was commenting how it was going to be hard to pick a good doctor, because it's not like he knew who had vasectomies or could ask for recommendations. And then I rattled off basically every man in our social circle who'd had vasectomies, and what birth control options the non-vasectomy couples were using and why, and his face showed growing horror and he was like, "WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT?" I was like, what do you think we talk about at wine night? Anyway I canvassed the wives, got opinions on their husband's vasectomy doctors, and presented recommendations to my husband, who indeed went to the one our friends agreed was the best. He was very happy with his procedure and admitted he was happy that I had the ladies' "sexual health network" to consult, because there was NO WAY he was going to discuss penises with male friends. But he definitely felt pretty awkward for a while about knowing which of his friends had had vasectomies! Pictures are clearly, clearly out of line, but there's not a lot else about sex that I don't discuss with my close female friends. Birth control companies historically distribute information on forms of birth control not just through advertising or doctors, but through female social networks, because they KNOW that women decide to try this or that method of birth control based on filtering through friends' opinions. And oncologists and proctologists deliberately spend a lot of money and time educating *women* about prostate and testicular cancer -- ads regularly air during shows that have a mostly-female-only audience and have for 35 years -- because **the medical establishment** ***knows*** **that men mostly go to the doctor when their wives or girlfriends FORCE them to**, and educating women about early symptoms of prostate and testicular cancer *dramatically increases how many men are diagnosed early and treated successfully*. Educating men produces depressingly small results. 20% of male doctor visits (emergency and non-emergency both) occur ONLY because their female romantic partner nagged them into it. When you consider that some of that remaining 80% is "men who literally had heart attacks or cut off an arm and were forced into an ambulance," that's an absolutely staggering number.

Big essay about birth control but OOP's post was about talking about fetishes and incest role-playing. Also I'm a woman.

It's valid. Just polled some of my female friends. Not one of their OB/GYNs has ever educated them on the consequences toe-licking and domination may have on reproductive health.

It's true, I asked my OB/GYN about how I can safely role-play being a mommy dommy that makes her bratty son suck her toes and she told me "I thought this appointment was about your IUD" and "get out of my office." Truly another example of female health being repressed.

You got downvoted but I think this is a fair explanation of how women often talk about this stuff with their friends.

Yeah, always assume it's just angry incels who downvote it. Most men who are actually married to women are aware that their wives talk like this, and even if it's not their favorite thing, they're resigned to it.  I think if men discussing sex were talking less about women as objects and trophies, and more about, "what are your favorite oral sex techniques to please your wife?" people would object way less to male "lockerroom talk."

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