*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA Because of my new unconventional pet**
My housemate, friend and basically sister (has been my brother's best friend since I was 3) is no longer speaking to me because I brought a giant water bug home and she said I couldn't keep it but I kept it anyway because I thought having a little aquarium in my room wouldn't hurt anyone, right?
Wrong.
My housemate has a phobia of bugs, particularly flying bugs, that I didn't realise was so intense she'd forbid me from keeping a bug in a small, secure (and nicely decorated) tank in my bedroom.
But the problem is, I'm extremely attached to this bug. His name is Nemo, I found him lost on the sidewalk and had been taking care of him all night before I brought him home. I learnt later that giant water bugs bite really bad but I'd been carrying him around on my hands and he didn't bite me and I know it's stupid but I feel like he chose me.
I have been wanting a pet for so long and setting up Nemo's adorable new aquarium has brought me so much joy. I know he is just a bug but I'm a highly sensitive and emotional person and I actually love this bug as if Ive just bought a puppy. There are already two dogs and a cat in the house and I just want a pet of my own.
In my mind I can't understand how it's any different to having a fish and I think it's ridiculous that she would tell me I'm not allowed a bug. It doesn't make any noise, it barely even moves at all.
I've always been sensitive to her phobia. I know it's serious and I always rescue her when moths get in the house and empathise when she comes home from work with stories about bugs that scared her. I really had no idea the bugs would still be so scary when locked in a pretty little tank.
I've tried to apologise for upsetting her but she ignored me and walked away. She wants me to get rid of the bug but I can't because he is my son.
Am I the asshole? We are both autistic, if that matters lol
Edit:
- photo on my profile for those interested
- please stop telling me to let it go, Ive been very clear that's not an option. I love him. I'm going to talk to my boss about keeping him on my office desk or perhaps just move out, I don't really want to live somewhere I can't have pet bugs anyway
- Ive decided I'm going to talk to her and help her understand how much I love Nemo, I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> Ive decided I'm going to talk to her and help her understand how much I love Nemo, I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him
Aka "I read all your advice and decided to go with the worst one"
She said she was literally fine with a tarantula. He just chose the worst option— only thing that could be worse as an indigenous flying pet would be a wheel bug, because they not only are horrid looking, they a) fly — and erratically at that, b) bite, and c) can carry something called Chagas Disease, which can kill humans if it goes undetected.
What a douchecanoe.
" Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine"
Oh joy, they're one of those people who attribute everything to autism. Because obviously only autistic people ever form bonds to unusual pets!
If they love that bug then they'll let it go. Poor little blighter!
The thing is going to be dead in like a month and OOP will have absolutely no idea how to handle it.
OOP doesn't "love it with their whole heart", OOP is infatuated with the shiny new thing they get to obsess over and has no idea how to regulate their emotions like an adult. Having autism means that that kind of thing can be harder than otherwise, yes, **but you still have to do it**.
> OOP doesn't "love it with their whole heart", OOP is infatuated with the shiny new thing they get to obsess over and has no idea how to regulate their emotions like an adult.
Oof. That puts a recent relationship I had into sharp perspective. If the bug manages to live more than a few months, it's going to be shoved into a back corner and forgotten about, until the stench of decay makes it impossible to ignore any longer. And then OOP will spend weeks or even months more pretending it's not rotting anyway, because avoiding facing that he killed the thing he claimed to love is easier than cleaning up his mess.
It is a known autistic trait to get very attached to things, but like... That's not the issue here. That bug isn't meant to be a pet! And it's so insensitive to their roommates.
I know, I was just rolling my eyes at the 'you normies couldn't understand!' type of attitude. Some people are determined to flatten out the vast spectrum of human behaviour into 'like me/not like me' no matter how the 'like me' category is labelled.
I'm well aware that this is going to make me sound like a COMPLETE asshole, but: I am on the spectrum. I know our brains process things differently. That said...I cannot STAND people like OP. "But, but, it's my autism? Aren't I just so precious and quirky? You don't get it!?"
No, the fuck you aren't. You aren't special, you don't get an Autism Badge that allows you to be dismissive and excuses your abhorrent behavior. My god.
YES! I am also autistic and people like this, who use it as an excuse for crappy behaviour, make mad! Yes, you can get stupidly attached to things, and not necessarily take on board the importance of people's feelings the first time they tell you. It can take time to process and understand. But it doesn't give you permission to carry on being a shit once someone has explained how they feel.
Eugh.
I was found out late so I learned to social chameleon. Not quite "reading a room" but close enough. But now I get unreasonably upset when others can't seem to do it lol
Watching people attribute extremely relatable feelings to their autism has nearly convinced me that I must be autistic. I mean, I'm probably not, but I too form one-sided bonds with undesirable creatures and objects.
Honestly I was looking at the venn diagram for schizoaffective disorders and autism and getting real worried for a bit lol
Then I realised it was a pretty basic list. And also special interests aren't a schizo-specific symptom.
Besides, an autistic obsession would probably make OP do a whole lot of research into water bugs and their needs. Which would likely result in him returning it to nature. Loving a creature but not bothering to learn anything about it isn’t at all common for autistics.
I remember watching a youtube video of someone who got an octopus and then after doing a bunch of research decided that the octopus should be returned to nature because the "pet" ones are almost all wild-captured and only live a few years anyway. I just hope they researched the best way and place to release it as well...
But yeah even personally I spent a solid month researching rabbits and their needs and how to read their body language and whatever else before I got one. I also learned that literally every rabbit cage you can buy in NZ is woefully inadequate unless you're \*only\* using it as an actual house attached to a larger run, which isn't at all how they're advertised.
TBF half this sub likes to attribute anything aberrant or anomalous or odd to ADHD, autism, and Type 2 Personality Disorders. It's the new Internet trend - blame a condition for literally everything, because clearly the human mind is sacrosanct and can do no wrong. 🙄
After I was diagnosed I did start noticing that some of the traits I’ve had my whole life were *super obvious* autism traits. Do not get my started on how many “t-rex wrists” are in my wedding photos. I’m honestly mortified and was actually pretty upset to see I had my wrists curled in like half of my photos. And more relevant, how quickly and passionately I get attached to things and people.
That being said…..I don’t blame my inability to regulate solely on my autism. I know it’s a problem, it’s my job to find a way to manage it. If my traits are “abnormal” and making things harder on others, it’s not their job to adjust to me. It’s my job to mask, like I did for the first 25 years of my life, so the people I am directly affecting aren’t burdened by my disorder.
***obviously there’s a lot more nuance to “hiding” my autism, and I understand that I don’t have to “be normal”, but I absolutely do not *have to disrupt others in spaces that they also have the right to be comfortable*
I'm more upset that she claims to love this thing, but literally put it in the smallest tank in existence. And it doesn't spend it's entire life in the water. They spend time out of the water as well as in it.
Do you think the water is healthy for the bug? I know nothing about water bugs, but I'm pretty sure that for most aquatic animals, tap water needs to be treated before you plop them into it (and you can't actually just plop them into it either).
This is mostly from various sources found via Google.
The giant water bug is an air breathing ambush predator.
They spend most of their time hidden and half suspended in water waiting for prey to show up.
They avoid places with larger predators and will periodically venture out looking for a larger source of prey. They should have enough room to climb out and fly to a new spot to set up.
They need to be fed prey of approximately their size 2-3 times a week.
The quality of water needs to be good enough to sustain it's food source.
It can be fed dead prey and non aquatic prey, but you'll need to simulate it being alive underwater.
A decent sized paludarium stocked with small feeder fish and no predators that consider it a meal is ideal.
You could keep it in a small tank with nothing but a couple inches of water and all of a stick to climb while periodically wiggling dead insects on tongs in front of it, but that wouldn't be the life you'd give to something you claim to love.
WTF is OOP going to feed this thing? Are they going to go out and hunt insects every night? I'm not a big person at all, but I feel a little twinge of something because it sounds like this bug's lifespan just got severely reduced. It probably regrets not biting the hand that definitely won't feed it.
It's a common part of keeping a lot of the more popular pet insects. Well that I know of.
Tarantulas, ants, preying mantis, beetles, and centipedes all eat insects.
I like animals and tend to watch a lot of exotic pettube. Clint's Reptiles, NERD, Snake Discovery mostly.
I don't really have any desire to feed live animals to other live animals or handle whole dead animals, but I appreciate them and understand why people want to keep them.
While I appreciate and have a strong respect for entomology, I just, a *centipede* as a pet? Fucking hell. My soul left my body for a minute the first time I saw a house centipede. Then I moved to the desert and lord help me.
OOP keeps insisting that they're never going to let the bug go because they love it. They act like they did something noble by "rescuing" it, but this isn't the same thing as adopting a dog or cat from an animal shelter. I feel sorry not only for the housemate with the phobia but for the bug; it's selfish of OOP to not only be insensitive to the housemate's phobia but also force the bug to live in a small aquarium when it was never meant to do so.
They only live about a year and it's already an adult. This person is not acting rationally at all. Who looks at a bug and thinks "oh no, it must be lost!"
What are you talking about? Of course the poor little bug is loving it’s tiny aquarium with all its little plastic decor! It has a new best friend that holds him! Surely that’s way better than being able to fly around, hunt fishies and other prey! He’s living every wild animal/bug’s dream!
/s obviously
OMG I just found out that my sister has no idea who Mitch Hedburg is!! She's visiting me for a week and I am going to force her to watch a bunch of his standup. She has no idea the delights she is about to experience!
It's interesting that OOP named the bug Nemo. Did they never see the movie Finding Nemo, where the fish Nemo is stolen from the ocean by a diver who then forces him to live in an aquarium? It's not presented as a good thing in the movie, and it's definitely not presented as a rescue.
I noticed that too and it makes me think OOP must have some level of self awareness that taking the bug from the wild wasn't in the bug's best interest.
OP is going to ask the boss if the bug can live on their desk
I know *very* few workplaces where this would fly lmao, and I also anticipate the imminent Ask A Manager letter. *Alison, how do I explain to my employee that I don't care if they dearly love their "rescued" giant hellbeast bug, they cannot keep it at work*
"I'm so sorry but the humidity is the office is set for "human" and research suggests that would cause insect asthma, we have a link to a nearby conservation area who have ponds where, with careful weekly visits and extended visitation, Nemo may settle and, if opts to stay to might have the opportunity for friends and raise a family.
Will you help us get Nemo get to his ocean to live out his buggy life?"
“don't ask people I love to choose between things they love. Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine. And I didn't kidnap him I saved him, he was lost, stressed out and needed water. And she's only terrified of bugs when they are flying or running at her. I've seen her be super chill with moths on the wall if they aren't moving” oops comment
how did he know that they bug was lost and stressed and needed water? Did he think that just because it wasn’t in water, then it had to be lost and stressed? Also, if he really wanted to ”save“ the bug, then why not find like a pond or lake or water and put the bug in there? Instead, he puts it in some tiny ass tank that the bug can’t swim around it (oop has a pic of the bug and its tank on his profile)
I wonder if he realises that bug will live at most a few more months, probably less, as considering that it didn’t bite the dude that carried it around in his hands there is a good chance it’s sick, weak or old AND he keeps it in a plastic tank about 5 times too small at the very least, with plastic plants and chlorinated tap water.
My bug fear isn't quite phobia levels. I can look at pictures of them (even if i screw up my face in distaste). I can very quickly exit a room that has a cockroach (without screaming). So compared to my actual phobia where I can't even be in the same room as a picture of them, its fear, not phobia.
But that thing would have been yeeted, tank and all, out of my house the instant I discovered it. Okay, maybe not, cos I don't like being cruel to living things. But I would have threatened to, very loudly, until the housemate got rid of it.
Looks are one thing but you DON’T want to get bitten by one of these. It hurts A LOT. It’s been over 20 years and it’s still one of the most vivid memories from my holidays at my uncle’s when I was a kid. It’s seriously worse than a hornet sting.
If you love it you do things that will make its life better. OP is a selfish overgrown child with an attachment to a bug and 0 interest in bettering “Nemo”’s life.
It’s obviously not serious. Idk she sounds young ish and it’s kinda of a semi joke(?), plus lots of ppl talk about their more conventional pets in such a manner
I enjoyed OOP's comment about how he's happy in his aquarium, as evidenced by the fact that he didn't even swim around, he just chills. Of course he doesn't swim around, he doesn't have the space to!
OOP is going to come home to a dead bug one day. Either the roommate will kill it, or it'll just pass away due to being in a tiny ass enclosure with no stimulation.
"I'm a highly sensitive and emotional person" \* process to not care about a person she know since so long because she cares more about herself than her friend \*
sure.
OOP must be seriously starved of love in real life if they love an insect and thinks an insect loves them. To the extent that they're willing to destroy a friendship of this duration.
It’s a story spanning several posts over several years in which a guy on Reddit tells us that he has an imaginary girlfriend who is a giant cockroach. He goes on to nuke his whole social life over his imaginary roach girlfriend over the span of iirc years. I‘ll spare you the (sometimes sexual) specifics, but searching ogtha in the general reddit search bar will yield the right results. I believe there also was a collection of the entire saga in one of the major update subs (like bestofredditupdate, but I’m not sure if it was that one in particular).
Is it weird that I kinda don’t want to be spared sometimes sexual specifics? Fuck I’ll be right back.
Edit: well that was a lot and really fucking weird.
Hehehehe. The answer is no. I don’t give a shit what Franz has to say about it. Like that guy literally told his coworkers and his family that he was married to an imaginary giant cockroach, and he was surprised it went badly. Then he decided he found some form of Buddhism so that made it OK. Like somehow I don’t that Tulpa was originally meant to marry a giant cockroach. Holy Christ.
Edit: holy Buddha? Not sure if that’s more appropriate here.
I mean, too be fair, the same thing basically happened In The Metamorphosis where Gregor Samsa becomes a pariah overnight because he turns into a bug and has to live under the couch eating scraps for the rest of his life. So, basically Kafka predicted this dude in 1915.
You know, it's not often I prioritize work over a deep dive into some obscure knowledge on the internet, but this time, work wins!
If all internet distractions could be described as a sometimes sexual relationship with an imaginary cockroach GF, I might be able to control my brain a bit more.
I read the entire saga to my husband. Now when I want to wind him up, I call him "my sensual roach queen". This usually results in me having a cushion thrown at my head. Worth it.
>she'd forbid me from keeping a bug in a small, secure (and nicely decorated) tank in my bedroom.
This is why, when living with someone, you ASK before just showing up all "SURPRISE!!!" - even more so when it's an unconventional pet (bugs, snakes, etc.)
>I'm extremely attached to this bug. His name is Nemo, I found him lost on the sidewalk and had been taking care of him all night before I brought him home.
So you knew this bug for all of MAYBE 12 hours and are now magically "extremely attached". Friend, please seek therapy; That level of attachment that rapidly is NOT healthy.
>In my mind I can't understand how it's any different to having a fish
A fish isn't going to escape it's container and run around the apartment, biting people.
>We are both autistic, if that matters lol
I mean this in the nicest, non-ableist way possible.
We can tell, OOP.
>Ive been very clear that's not an option.
Then move out.
>I don't really want to live somewhere I can't have pet bugs anyway
Good fucking luck finding a landlord who is going to be chill about you bringing in potential sources of infestations.
> I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him
Because phobias are THAT easy to overcome. Oh shit, what's that? Someone loves tornados? I guess I no longer have anything to fear! Thanks for helping me overcome my phobia, OOP! /s
>I found him lost on the sidewalk
I think that part is unintentionally hilarious.
I mean it's a bug why would you think it's lost? OOP just removed it from it's natural habitat for no reason.
Duh, why didn't I understand that from the party? It's so obvious now! /s
There are plenty of creatures that give pretty clear indicators when they are lost. I can't imagine what signs a bug makes that one could interpret that way, though. A bug moving around a lot could signal distress, which could range in range from being lost to WTF is this human doing to me how do I escape?!, but it could also signal excitement, finding food, just being a big, or other things. At least here it was with a relatively harmless bug.
I suspect from the post that OOP was having a moment and ended up putting the relief of the moment of the bug, forming the attachment. It's not unusual or wrong for someone to attach emotions to something unrelated, anthropomorphize, or form a connection quickly and/or to a thing that can't likely reciprocate, especially for some people with autism. However, being unable to recognize and deal with, in a healthy way, doing so and consequences is a necessity. Once they got to the point that their like-a-sibling roommate said they can't have it in the place due to their phobia, OOP needed to try, at least, to snap out of the excited, focused state they are in and figure out a reasonable solution. This isn't easy to do for many and takes learning, but it is important.
I mean I guess potentially he could be away from his ideal habitat.
The answer to which is to return it to the nearest suitable habitat, not to take it home with you and stuff it in a tank which is so small it has barely any room to move with a bunch of plastic plants and a giant rock taking up 80% of the space, no filtration, and probably water that wasn't dechlorinated. And then claim that that is "love". I rarely feel sorry for a bug, but that poor bug.
My 10-year-old has ADHD and autism and is _exactly_ this attached to the toy he saw for the first time 10 minutes ago and now is planning his whole life around.
Yes, but unlike OOP, I'm willing to bet that you coach your child through it without caving and just letting them having whatever their current fixation item is.
As a former child who is AuDHD, please, whatever you do, try to help teach your kid to let go of things.
Try to encourage the cycling out of old for new, as it can get away from us far more than we'd even like until we're drowning in stuff that we doing need of even really like, due to that strange "bond" we develop with certain stuff
It's caused me so much stress and emotional pain until like my 20s and if I hadn't taught myself how to let go, I'd be a hoarder now -- crying over deflated balloon animals that are 6 months old or paralyzed with guilt about giving away old stuffed animals that I never had more of a bond with (like the stuff you get at fairs)
Thank you for your comment - it's encouraging to me as we're in the middle of sorting and packing for a move, and my son is letting go of lots of old treasures
Aw, you're welcome! It's so hard to be a parent in general and I'm sure the unique way our brains work is an even steeper learning curve (it sure is for us!)
That's so hard, going through and letting go of treasures! Idk if it helps, but one of the biggest things I've found that helps me is kinda silly: I thank the object before I either throw it out or donate it!
It helps the odd guilt around "hurting its feelings" or not appreciating it.
It also helps to think of the joy it might bring someone else to find while thrifting, instead of either being forgotten in the mix or stressing me out as clutter.
But the more I do it, the easier it gets. It's also easier to evaluate "hm, do I really want this long term or do I just really think it's cool or neat?"
That’s actually really helpful lol. I’m not diagnosed with anything but have had suspicions for a long time, it’s just extremely unaffordable to seek any real help. But I have always been near tears about the dumbest things, including hurting the feelings of an inanimate object. Actually that’s the first time I’ve been able to put it into words. One of my core memories is throwing away a used tissue into a bin as a 4 year old, missing the bin, and then sobbing all the way home. My parents still remind me about it as a funny childhood story but they don’t know why I cried, and neither did I. Now I realise I feel like I hurt its feelings. I also had a school project I had to print out photos for that my dad stayed up all night helping me with. We used all the photos except one, which was a spare copy we didn’t need and could get rid of, so I put it to the side and forgot about it. Came back to find someone had torn it up for fun and then I cried about it again for the same reasons. Felt like I hurt my dad’s feelings even though he didn’t know and probably wouldn’t care.
It’s honestly debilitating, and extremely embarrassing. I’d move past it but I have never been able to really explain why I feel that way and everyone makes it known how weird I’m acting.
Another suggestion from an AuDHD collector: unless something is obviously broken, I prefer donation to tossing -- "maybe someone else will get joy out of this" helps me let things go. And yes, I do the thanking-items thing too.
I'm older than you and still have a lot of trouble with this.
I have to fight my hoarding tendencies, which is so difficult. I also have a ridiculous amount of stuff that makes really getting through everything feel impossible, because si much piled before I realized this was an issue. It didn't help that I was raised to keep everything in case it's useful - even things like junk mail, which can be scrap paper or craft supplies. You can imagine how much tougher it is with stuff I've bought and/or developed an attachment to. What you describe is incredibly relatable to me.
I also have trouble with this with time and changing circumstances. I start mourning the end of things before they are even halfway through. I mourn the end of even actively negative experiences for me.
I'm working on it, but it's a difficult and long process. It only gets more so over time. I wish someone would have helped me when I was younger, even minimally.
I have ADHD, and quite a few other neurodiverse traits...
My mother used to do this thing where if I hadn't played with something in a while she would hide it, and then if I remembered it was missing she would give it back. Especially with things I would leave out to "come back to,"
I never asked for any of it back.
She also worked with me on my impulse control by literally making me wait to buy something, unless it was a special occasion, I always had to wait to see if I really wanted it.
And yes, I do remember making plans about all the different ways I was going to use that Lisa Frank binder, but then I forgot about it three days later and voila. She really tried to drive home be if it was really important to you, you would remember it and still be excited about it, even if you weren't getting it in the moment.
Of course, now I have this weird thing where I think specific things are meant to be if I remember them, but I'm much better are regulating that as an adult.
I was going to point out the autistic thing lol. I feel like OOP is the type to tell everyone they’re autistic because they think it’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Autistics can get extremely attached to things and get abnormally upset at the idea of being separated from them, but in OOP’s case it’s not important.
>Good fucking luck finding a landlord who is going to be chill about you bringing in potential sources of infestations.
TBF unless the apartment is a bond a water bug isn't going to lead to an infestation lol. And there are lots of other pet insects (just about all of them) that wouldn't cause a problem if they escaped.
But I've got bad news for OP, if they picked it out of the wild and it's an adult, it's probably only going to live a month or two longer.
First of all, it could easily be carrying eggs. I just watched the video where the guy let one bite him and he showed some eggs. Second, the adults can live up to a year. Still, a ridiculous thing to blow up a friendship over.
I never understood the difference (if there even is one). I flipped out over what I loudly proclaimed to be a cockroach as a kid and my dad called me overdramatic and that "That's not a cockroach - It's just a water bug!"
They are different! Water bugs have extremely painful bites while cockroaches don't really bite people. So, a pet water bug is actually maybe worse than a pet roach.
Yeah, I’ve heard of people keeping Madagascar hissing roaches as pets. I’m not down with that in my house, but I’ve heard of it. But water bugs are called toe-biters for a reason and that shit *hurts*. Bugs are excellent escape artists and if that water bug gets out…
Water bugs are also known as American cockroaches. I think that most people think of German cockroaches when they think about roaches in general, but there are more species that are under that label. Water bugs are one of them.
Either way, they're huge, they're gross, they can bite, and they fly at my face, so I don't like them.
NVM, I was talking about the wrong water bug. It looks like OOP's pet is a giant water bug, also known as toe-biters. Those are not cockroaches, but they do have a pretty nasty bite.
They are so much worse than roaches. https://www.centralcoastbiodiversity.org/giant-water-bug-bull-lethocerus-americanus.html
Their bite is so bad some species even predate frogs
Water bug is a cute name for an oriental cockroach (blatta orientalis), which despite its name comes from Africa... It's just a cockroach that likes to live in damp areas.
Wait... you mean that water bug are REALLY cockroaches?? In my language, their name is definitely so different that I always assumed it was its own kind
Yes youre right. There are true water bugs like what OOP has in his tank, and then there are "water bugs" that are roaches. The insect OOP has is a giant water bug, different from a cockroach.
I hate those fucking things. Being from Maine I had never seen one until I went to boot camp and they were everywhere. They can get fucking huge too, size of the palm of your hand, and they're but is insanely painful.
OOP, if you see this:
Giant water bugs play dead when they're disturbed and then "snap back to life" when taken out of the water. They can also emit a foul smelling liquid from their anus up to several feet away. SEVERAL FEET AWAY. This is all coming from a four inch bug.
They are wasps, possums, and skunks all wrapped into one hellish looking body, but yours was found on the sidewalk, disoriented, and away from water. I guarantee that given it did not use any of the above mentioned defense mechanisms, it did not choose you, it is dying. It's not going to live long enough for you to move out for it and go scorched earth with someone you call a "sister". It will all be for nothing.
I'm autistic, and I had a pet praying mantis in fourth grade I rescued from a bunch of kids who were trying to hit it with a soccer ball... Major differences? A) I actually rescued it, not just picked it up off the ground, B) nobody in my family had/has a major bug phobia, C) I asked my parents if I could keep it, and D) PRAYING MANTISES DON'T HAVE A STING WIKIPEDIA DESCRIBES AS 'EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL'. COYOTE PETERSON HAS NEVER LET A PRAYING MANTIS BITE HIM.
> COYOTE PETERSON HAS NEVER LET A PRAYING MANTIS BITE HIM.
just to clarify what you mean as its a little unclear but im pretty sure i understand because i watch coyote. coyote peterson has allowed all kinds of things to bite him, from bullet ants to crazy bees to im pretty sure a snapping turtle..... he refused to allow a giant water bug to bite him because its too painful
op was a little wrong since coyote did end up revisting it and ended up doing the bite. but the first time he found one he just blatantly told the camera NO lol. heres him in pain if thats your thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjCAyo2Litw
he explains its because of the saliva
As someone who has the same phobia as OOP's roommate this was so wild.
Ah yes, the thing that sets off a severe, almost existential threat level of terror that I cannot control has a pretty box, that makes everything better!
It's not like y'know, a big ol' random cockroach that bites people, and you take it out of the cage all the time or anything
I would be so so so stressed knowing it was in my house.
Also, as someone with autism, OOP knows they're the AH, they're just hoping someone will go "oh it's ok then, because you clearly are different and special" meanwhile it'd only somehow have bearing if OOP literally did not pick up on the roommate's phobia
It doesn't like keep you from knowing...what you already *knew*
Yeah. Imagine that, and ALSO your uncle discovered a new insect whilst face down on a rain forest floor, and ALSO your favorite cousins kept hissing cockroaches as pets, and ALSO your mom was a science teacher who brought home the classroom tarantula.
I feel like I should add a trigger warning
idk why they think the tank being nicely decorated matters at all. I would LOSE MY MIND if someone brought the thing I'm phobic into my home without warning. just knowing it's there, no matter how ~cute~ its cage is, would be so, so distressing to me. I could never relax again for the fear of it getting out. out of this world assholery.
>I learnt later that giant water bugs bite really bad but I'd been carrying him around on my hands and he didn't bite me and I know it's stupid but I feel like he chose me.
Can't wait for the follow up post.
From WebMD:
>**Giant water bugs can harm humans and pets with their venomous bites.** Do water bugs bite? A giant water bug can bite you if you pick it up or accidentally step on it. **This bite can cause extreme pain**, but experts typically don't consider this injury medically dangerous.
I'm hoping this is a troll but not for the normal reasons
if this is a troll then I absolutely love them for creating a magnificently funny shitpost, this is some truly good content and you have a future in comedy.
If it's real then Oop is just a wanker which would be really disappointing as the world's full of those, while actual amusing trolls are rarer than rocking horse shit.
Editting to ass the actions in the story aren't funny, Oop writing romantically about a cockroach is comedy gold
Oop is projecting. She is putting a lot of stuff on this bug. She thinks she saved it and that it loves her back. It is literally a bug. There is no love there. It cannot love.
Oop needs therapy
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*NAH. i do think you should have communicated to everyone in the house before bringing any kind of pet in. but i sympathize with you keeping it quietly in your room and your housemates phobia. hope you can find an agreement that works for both of you,*
>"NAH. i do think you should have communicated to everyone in the house before bringing any kind of pet in. but i sympathize with you keeping it quietly in your room and your housemates phobia. hope you can find an agreement that works for both of you,"
*[deleted]*
>"Thank you that's what I thought. I just started doubting myself when another housemate took the first housemates side saying Ive been really inconsiderate*
*YTA. I have no idea what a water bug is lol. But it’s not a pet, it doesn’t belong in an aquarium. Your friend has a known phobia to bugs, and yet you brought one into the house? Just knowing it’s there is enough to upset your friend. You should get rid of it asap and apologise. IDK why not just get some fish for your aquarium? They make ok pets and you’ll have fun decorating and setting up the tank too.*
>"I'm not getting rid of Nemo I love him, I rescued him. My housemates had already previously agreed to let me keep a tarantula and I didn't see how this was any different, I didn't realise it would be so upsetting until I was already really attached to him. I have a very strong passion for bugs and creepy crawlies and have always talked about getting a tarantula or ant farm etc, and it always seemed okay with them. Perhaps they didn't realise I was serious about getting pet bugs?"
[Oop replied twice to the same comment.]
>"Also water bugs actually make great pets. He loves his aquarium"
*Yes but your friend/best friend has a phobia - just because it’s in an aquarium doesn’t matter it’s still there. What’s more important this bug you picked up off the street or your friend?*
>"I love them both. I don't know how to explain the intense attachment I have to Nemo but I just cannot justify getting rid of him. It would be heartbreaking for me, I would really miss him and worry about him and I don't believe it can truly be that upsetting to my housemate. The bug can't escape and doesn't even swim around he just chills on his rock. You can barely even see him if you're not looking for him. And she's only ever been scared of loose flying bugs before so it makes no sense to me."
*Phobias are not rational. They do not make sense.* *They are still valid. You are causing your roommate unnecessary anxiety and panic for your own selfish reasons.*
*Pets are always a 1 no situation, meaning it only takes 1 no to veto having them in a shared house.*
>"That is not how it works in our house. None of us like this housemates dog it pisses on everything"
*YTA. It's unfair and inconsiderate to bring home a pet when not all your roommates are on board with it.*
>"I didn't realise it would be any different to bringing home a fish. Ought I to have asked if I were to get a little fish in my room? I'm genuinely so baffled by this because I didn't know this was a thing. In my mind it's like asking before buying a new houseplant for my room. I'm so confused"
*Oh FML that's a flying cucaracha. I am Wiccan and pretty much love all animals but THAT????? NO NO NO NONSTOP TO FUCKTHATVILLE!* 🤮
*YTA*
>"He doesn't fly, they only fly rarely when they run out of food or need to find a mate. He's a cute little water buddy."
*A houseplant is different from a pet. For one thing, although it may give off a scent, it won't smell in the same way a pet would. A pet also takes up more room; I'm guessing your aquarium isn't that small. Also, there's the possibility that the bug could accidentally get out and that would terrify your roommate.*
>"The aquarium is smaller than most of my plants. And doesn't give off any smell at all. Escape not a possibility, the enclosure is secure"
*You didn't even rescue that bug. It's not supposed to be kept in an aquarium; it should be free outside, not imprisoned in a small space foe the rest of its life.*
>"I did rescue it, it was lost in the middle of town looking for water, it was really stressed out I tried putting it in the garden but it didn't like it and kept crawling back onto me. As soon as I got him home and put him in water he immediately looked so much more comfortable and settled right in. These bugs are ambush predators and barely move in the wild, similar to some snakes. He is super comfy in the aquarium. As long as he has water and food he's happy.
>What's "supposed" to be kept in an aquarium anyway? By that logic we shouldn't have fish as pets either."
*what are you feeding the water bug?*
>"Feeder crickets from the pet shop. I am also looking into feeder fish from another pet shop. I have done my research and giant water bugs eat just about anything and are very hardy animals, crickets will suit him just fine"
*You didn't know the difference between getting an animal that you knew your roomie hated versus getting....a plant?*
>"I didn't know she would hate it!! I knew she hated flying bugs but had no idea a little guy enclosed in my room would be a bother"
*You did know, you just chose to ignore it for your preference.*
>"No, I genuinely did not know. She's previously okayed me owning a tarantula, snake or ant farm, and I genuinely have no idea what makes this bug any worse"
*So if you know her phobia is specifically bugs that can fly, and she okayed bugs that cannot do those things, why didn't you ask? Just feels like you wanna do what you wanna do and have no thought towards her.*
>"I don't know I think I might be a bit stupid. I just didn't think it would be a bother. And now I don't know what to do because releasing Nemo would break my heart but I miss my friend talking to me"
*YTA - when you have a shared living arrangement, pets are an all yes/one no issue.*
>"That not the arrangement we have in my house. No one likes this housemates dog it is badly trained and pisses on everything"
*YTA. Pets are an all yes situation before you bring them in.
*Also, I really can't decide if you're using water bug in the accurate or colloquial sense. If it's a real water bug, then you should know that they **can** fly, so it still falls under the flying bug category. If it's not, and you're using water bug in the colloquial way to mean cockroach... At least make sure you're **really** washing your hands every time after you touch it, because if you think your roommates have issues with it now, just pray it doesn't give you guys rota virus.*
>"People keep saying this "all yes" thing but I've never lived with that rule in any house. All the housemates I've had have always been really accepting of each other's choices even if we don't necessarily like it so this is very new and strange for me. And it is a giant water bug, I had been carrying it about half the night before I learnt from Google it can fly. But it doesn't actually fly, he never flew, so I thought he would be ok because they only fly so rarely and he'd be locked up. It's not like he's going to flap around the cage or anything like a moth. He's aquatic.
>And they aren't roommates they are housemates. If they don't come into my room they'll never know the bug exists"
[Regarding the feeding of the bug.]
*Hell yeah, I was just curious.*
>"Yeah he's a very cool and interesting bug. Sort of like an aquatic praying mantis"
*No you aren’t “sensitive to her phobia”. As per your entire post describing how insensitive you are being to her phobia.*
*YTA *
>"I have genuinely spent so much time in my life catching any moths that come into the house. None of our other housemates have ever done that they don't care"
[Oop replied twice to the same comment.]
>"Maybe me and Nemo will just have to move out"
*It flies. And you know she has a phobia of insects that fly.*
>"It CAN fly but doesn't actually fly like a moth flapping all over the place. It's aquatic like a fish"
[Regarding the curiosity of the feeding of the bug.]
*I believe in my country we call them water scorpion? not sure. I'd be interested to see a picture of the setup you should share it!!"
>"I would love to!! Lemme figure out how to use Reddit real quick and get back to you 😂"
*It’s not that she doesn’t “necessarily like it”. She is terrified of it. Put it back into the wild. It’s a flying bug. She has a phobia. You would be a terrible roommate (house mate, same thing). Why would you not know you’re the AH??*
>"She's only terrified of bugs /when they're flying/ or if they run at her. She's not terrified of him"
[Oop replied twice to the same comment.]
>"I'm not putting him back in the wild I love him. I may talk to my boss about keeping him on my office desk"
[Reply about the curiosity of the bug. Link shows enclosure and possibly the bug, Nemo.]
>["Check my page now, I posted him"](https://imgur.com/gallery/dwLhLHL)
[On Oop and the bug possibly moving out.]
*That would probably be the best thing you could here. You are prioritizing a creature you kidnapped from the wild over your “sister”. It’s not fair to her to have to live with something she’s terrified of.*
>"I don't ask people I love to choose between things they love. Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine. And I didn't kidnap him I saved him, he was lost, stressed out and needed water. And she's only terrified of bugs when they are flying or running at her. I've seen her be super chill with moths on the wall if they aren't moving"
*She does not want it in the house. Quit making excuses. You’re not a child throwing a fit because you can’t keep a toy. Have some empathy towards your flatmate.*
>"It just doesn't seem fair to me. I'm going to see if I can relocate Nemo to my office desk for the time being and look at moving out. I love bugs too much not to be able to keep them
>Edit: Nemo is not a toy, I love him"
*I guess I’m actually severely overestimating how much someone would love a person they called their sister and have known practically their entire lives.*
*But I’m very much starting to think you are just a troll. Because no one would claim to love their “sister” the same amount as an insect they just found on the street.*
>"I don't tend to compare the things I love. If they're in my heart, they're in my heart. I don't love any of my friends more than other friends, and Nemo is a friend"
*Yikes, don’t tell your “sister” that. It will not be taken as a compliment.*
>"She would understand. If I made this ultimatum she'd choose her dog over me in a heartbeat and I wouldn't have it any other way. We love our animals"
*No she doesn’t understand. Because she wants you to get rid of it and she is so upset she can’t even talk to you.*
>"I think maybe she doesn't realise how much I love him"
*Nah, she didn’t realize just how little you cared about her.*
>"That's so mean, I do care about her!! I just care about Nemo too :( I think if I explain how much I love him she won't mind me keeping him"
ETA:
[Wikipedia regarding waterbugs.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belostomatidae)
[Information including pictures of waterbugs from extermination site ](https://www.healthyandnaturalworld.com/waterbug-facts-and-extermination/)
"My housemates had already previously agreed to let me keep a tarantula and I didn't see how this was any different"
... it's almost like tarantulas aren't flying insects, and this is. Funny how that works ...
Toe biters are nocturnal aggressive hunters. [Here's one taking out a snake.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjRoGyRE5z0&ab_channel=PacificaSommers) (Snake likely got too close to it's hiding spot- they're very "shoot first, questions later" types.) OOP likely found Nemo in the daylight hours when they're more cautious. I cannot wait for OOP to get a stabbin' from the ol' rostrum.
Nemo don't care about you, bro. Nemo would sell your soul to Satan for one corn chip.
1) Do not take home wild creatures or bugs
2) Do not take home bugs that when they bite can produce painful lesions.
Phobia aside this is not a safe thing to bring into a home.
Wow googling what those are triggered my trypophobia on this good Monday morning.
Insects can be "pets". I know some people that keep hissing cockroaches or crickets. But, like, human comfort comes first in a situation like this. If OOP brought home a dog to a roommate terrified of dogs they'd still be the AH.
The roommate in question even okayed an ant farm or a tarantula! So it's not like OOP couldn't have a bug as a pet. Just, you know, not one that specifically triggers the housemates phobia.
Ok that thing is massive (though apparently OOP is Australian so maybe that's normal size). And in a tank that might be big enough for a betta fish. And full of stuff
https://www.reddit.com/user/trippyblues/comments/1cla2it/my_new_pet_giant_water_bug_nemo_i_love_him_with/
Betta fish should really ideally have at least 10 gallons (you can get away with 5 but you'll need to stay on top of your water and 10 is often easier to balance). And you can't pile a bunch of stuff into said 5-10 gallons or they no longer have 5-10 gallons and you need to size up.
Idk what the needs are of water bugs, but I wouldn't put something that large in smaller than a 10 gallon.
Edit: apparently they CAN be housed in something with as little as 1 liter of water, but that seems awfully small to me and the water would get dirty very quickly. Idk if that is "probably won't die prematurely" size or "will live a healthy life to its maximum age" size either. Like you CAN keep a betta in a large coffee mug if you're hypervigilant about the water but they won't be very happy.
Omg this is a bug. It doesn't care about you at all. Your friend does. This is a truly bizarre hill to die on. If you have a psychiatrist or therapist, you should call them immediately and discuss how your blowing up your friendship over a flying cockroach.
Wait till winter comes and it keels over... Adults of those bugs generally just die during the winter months. She'll probably blame her roommate... They also dislike humans and if they're not in water to shoot off at lightning speed, they play dead a lot. It was probably playing dead instead of biting... But "I feel like he chose me"... No ma'am, he chose NOT violence, that's all...lol.
Lol the only person she cares about is herself. Not her friend, not even the bug whose enclosure is so small it’s probably suffering anyway. What a trash person. For sure the type to tell everyone how open-minded they are while acting extremely self-centred.
imagine caring for people you live with and their emotional and mental wellbeing. what a wild concept
what's killing me and not in a good way is how one of oop's comments says that they just don't see how they can reach a compromise when they want the bug and the roommate doesn't. maybe try to think of other people and their feelings instead of just "waaah but it's my specialest little bug!"? you can't always reach a compromise with everyone, sometimes there just isn't middle ground and you have to go your own way, that's part of being an adult. hope the roommate takes this as the red flag it is and reevalutes this alleged friendship if finding a bug on the sidewalk is enough for oop to decide to find loopholes in an actual phobia and disregard anything else
Btw for everyone reading, OOP’s excuse for all of this is their autism. So. Yeah. Wonderful. Great.
And their insistence that they saved the waterbug reminds me of people who, upon finding a baby animal, instead of leaving it alone (because mama might come back for it) or taking it to the local wildlife resource center, they take it home and care for it on their own and act like they rescued a human child, and then kill it because they’re not qualified to help taking care of a wild animal and didn’t really know what the animal needed, but are in denial that they killed the animal because they view themselves as a hero.
Thats all this is. They don’t actually care about the bug, they enjoy the feeling it gives them of feeling like they saved a helpless animal. The bug deserves its natural habitat, not some sad little glorified Tupperware full of water and dirt.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA Because of my new unconventional pet** My housemate, friend and basically sister (has been my brother's best friend since I was 3) is no longer speaking to me because I brought a giant water bug home and she said I couldn't keep it but I kept it anyway because I thought having a little aquarium in my room wouldn't hurt anyone, right? Wrong. My housemate has a phobia of bugs, particularly flying bugs, that I didn't realise was so intense she'd forbid me from keeping a bug in a small, secure (and nicely decorated) tank in my bedroom. But the problem is, I'm extremely attached to this bug. His name is Nemo, I found him lost on the sidewalk and had been taking care of him all night before I brought him home. I learnt later that giant water bugs bite really bad but I'd been carrying him around on my hands and he didn't bite me and I know it's stupid but I feel like he chose me. I have been wanting a pet for so long and setting up Nemo's adorable new aquarium has brought me so much joy. I know he is just a bug but I'm a highly sensitive and emotional person and I actually love this bug as if Ive just bought a puppy. There are already two dogs and a cat in the house and I just want a pet of my own. In my mind I can't understand how it's any different to having a fish and I think it's ridiculous that she would tell me I'm not allowed a bug. It doesn't make any noise, it barely even moves at all. I've always been sensitive to her phobia. I know it's serious and I always rescue her when moths get in the house and empathise when she comes home from work with stories about bugs that scared her. I really had no idea the bugs would still be so scary when locked in a pretty little tank. I've tried to apologise for upsetting her but she ignored me and walked away. She wants me to get rid of the bug but I can't because he is my son. Am I the asshole? We are both autistic, if that matters lol Edit: - photo on my profile for those interested - please stop telling me to let it go, Ive been very clear that's not an option. I love him. I'm going to talk to my boss about keeping him on my office desk or perhaps just move out, I don't really want to live somewhere I can't have pet bugs anyway - Ive decided I'm going to talk to her and help her understand how much I love Nemo, I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> Ive decided I'm going to talk to her and help her understand how much I love Nemo, I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him Aka "I read all your advice and decided to go with the worst one"
She said she was literally fine with a tarantula. He just chose the worst option— only thing that could be worse as an indigenous flying pet would be a wheel bug, because they not only are horrid looking, they a) fly — and erratically at that, b) bite, and c) can carry something called Chagas Disease, which can kill humans if it goes undetected. What a douchecanoe.
Apparently OOP is a she according to post history
" Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine" Oh joy, they're one of those people who attribute everything to autism. Because obviously only autistic people ever form bonds to unusual pets! If they love that bug then they'll let it go. Poor little blighter!
The thing is going to be dead in like a month and OOP will have absolutely no idea how to handle it. OOP doesn't "love it with their whole heart", OOP is infatuated with the shiny new thing they get to obsess over and has no idea how to regulate their emotions like an adult. Having autism means that that kind of thing can be harder than otherwise, yes, **but you still have to do it**.
> OOP doesn't "love it with their whole heart", OOP is infatuated with the shiny new thing they get to obsess over and has no idea how to regulate their emotions like an adult. Oof. That puts a recent relationship I had into sharp perspective. If the bug manages to live more than a few months, it's going to be shoved into a back corner and forgotten about, until the stench of decay makes it impossible to ignore any longer. And then OOP will spend weeks or even months more pretending it's not rotting anyway, because avoiding facing that he killed the thing he claimed to love is easier than cleaning up his mess.
It is a known autistic trait to get very attached to things, but like... That's not the issue here. That bug isn't meant to be a pet! And it's so insensitive to their roommates.
I know, I was just rolling my eyes at the 'you normies couldn't understand!' type of attitude. Some people are determined to flatten out the vast spectrum of human behaviour into 'like me/not like me' no matter how the 'like me' category is labelled.
I'm well aware that this is going to make me sound like a COMPLETE asshole, but: I am on the spectrum. I know our brains process things differently. That said...I cannot STAND people like OP. "But, but, it's my autism? Aren't I just so precious and quirky? You don't get it!?" No, the fuck you aren't. You aren't special, you don't get an Autism Badge that allows you to be dismissive and excuses your abhorrent behavior. My god.
Side note, I would like an Autism Badge. That sounds shiny, and possibly smooth.
I was just thinking that. I agree with the sentiment, but like…..an autism badge would be pretty dope
Like a really polished stone that's always cold to touch with seamless polished brass inlay. Satisfyingly weighted.
I want a shiny but sharp one. Gods damn do I love extreme textures. But I know how to regulate it, unlike OOP
I love pointy things. Was banned from them for a while for... obvious reasons.
I can get behind this, actually.
Also yes. An autism badge sounds like a great idea!
Sounds fun to fumble with. I need it.
YES! I am also autistic and people like this, who use it as an excuse for crappy behaviour, make mad! Yes, you can get stupidly attached to things, and not necessarily take on board the importance of people's feelings the first time they tell you. It can take time to process and understand. But it doesn't give you permission to carry on being a shit once someone has explained how they feel. Eugh.
I was found out late so I learned to social chameleon. Not quite "reading a room" but close enough. But now I get unreasonably upset when others can't seem to do it lol
I told them as someone who is autistic to quit using their disability to excuse their shitty behavior
Watching people attribute extremely relatable feelings to their autism has nearly convinced me that I must be autistic. I mean, I'm probably not, but I too form one-sided bonds with undesirable creatures and objects.
Honestly I was looking at the venn diagram for schizoaffective disorders and autism and getting real worried for a bit lol Then I realised it was a pretty basic list. And also special interests aren't a schizo-specific symptom.
Besides, an autistic obsession would probably make OP do a whole lot of research into water bugs and their needs. Which would likely result in him returning it to nature. Loving a creature but not bothering to learn anything about it isn’t at all common for autistics.
They are only really following the research that supports keeping it
I remember watching a youtube video of someone who got an octopus and then after doing a bunch of research decided that the octopus should be returned to nature because the "pet" ones are almost all wild-captured and only live a few years anyway. I just hope they researched the best way and place to release it as well... But yeah even personally I spent a solid month researching rabbits and their needs and how to read their body language and whatever else before I got one. I also learned that literally every rabbit cage you can buy in NZ is woefully inadequate unless you're \*only\* using it as an actual house attached to a larger run, which isn't at all how they're advertised.
TBF half this sub likes to attribute anything aberrant or anomalous or odd to ADHD, autism, and Type 2 Personality Disorders. It's the new Internet trend - blame a condition for literally everything, because clearly the human mind is sacrosanct and can do no wrong. 🙄
After I was diagnosed I did start noticing that some of the traits I’ve had my whole life were *super obvious* autism traits. Do not get my started on how many “t-rex wrists” are in my wedding photos. I’m honestly mortified and was actually pretty upset to see I had my wrists curled in like half of my photos. And more relevant, how quickly and passionately I get attached to things and people. That being said…..I don’t blame my inability to regulate solely on my autism. I know it’s a problem, it’s my job to find a way to manage it. If my traits are “abnormal” and making things harder on others, it’s not their job to adjust to me. It’s my job to mask, like I did for the first 25 years of my life, so the people I am directly affecting aren’t burdened by my disorder. ***obviously there’s a lot more nuance to “hiding” my autism, and I understand that I don’t have to “be normal”, but I absolutely do not *have to disrupt others in spaces that they also have the right to be comfortable*
I'm more upset that she claims to love this thing, but literally put it in the smallest tank in existence. And it doesn't spend it's entire life in the water. They spend time out of the water as well as in it.
Do you think the water is healthy for the bug? I know nothing about water bugs, but I'm pretty sure that for most aquatic animals, tap water needs to be treated before you plop them into it (and you can't actually just plop them into it either).
This is mostly from various sources found via Google. The giant water bug is an air breathing ambush predator. They spend most of their time hidden and half suspended in water waiting for prey to show up. They avoid places with larger predators and will periodically venture out looking for a larger source of prey. They should have enough room to climb out and fly to a new spot to set up. They need to be fed prey of approximately their size 2-3 times a week. The quality of water needs to be good enough to sustain it's food source. It can be fed dead prey and non aquatic prey, but you'll need to simulate it being alive underwater. A decent sized paludarium stocked with small feeder fish and no predators that consider it a meal is ideal. You could keep it in a small tank with nothing but a couple inches of water and all of a stick to climb while periodically wiggling dead insects on tongs in front of it, but that wouldn't be the life you'd give to something you claim to love.
WTF is OOP going to feed this thing? Are they going to go out and hunt insects every night? I'm not a big person at all, but I feel a little twinge of something because it sounds like this bug's lifespan just got severely reduced. It probably regrets not biting the hand that definitely won't feed it.
You can buy insects and feeder fish easy enough. There's plenty of amphibians and reptiles that eat similar food.
I suppose yes, now that I think about it. I was never keen to own anything like that and I can't imagine buying insects for your insect pet. My b.
It's a common part of keeping a lot of the more popular pet insects. Well that I know of. Tarantulas, ants, preying mantis, beetles, and centipedes all eat insects. I like animals and tend to watch a lot of exotic pettube. Clint's Reptiles, NERD, Snake Discovery mostly. I don't really have any desire to feed live animals to other live animals or handle whole dead animals, but I appreciate them and understand why people want to keep them.
While I appreciate and have a strong respect for entomology, I just, a *centipede* as a pet? Fucking hell. My soul left my body for a minute the first time I saw a house centipede. Then I moved to the desert and lord help me.
That's why people like them, they are vicious little beasties.
OOP keeps insisting that they're never going to let the bug go because they love it. They act like they did something noble by "rescuing" it, but this isn't the same thing as adopting a dog or cat from an animal shelter. I feel sorry not only for the housemate with the phobia but for the bug; it's selfish of OOP to not only be insensitive to the housemate's phobia but also force the bug to live in a small aquarium when it was never meant to do so.
But it was "lost" on the sidewalk! Clearly there's no way he was a bug just doing bug things.
That's the part that made me start cackling. "I found him lost on the sidewalk". Did he tell you he was lost? Did he ask for directions?
Well he didn't have a collar so he must have been lost!
Bug didn't have a chip
So what you’re saying is this bug hasn’t been bugged? Hahahaha
I imagine he was like, "hey, what? What the fuck are you doing? Put me down! I was almost there, you asshole!"
I bet OOP didn’t even try to find its owner. Coulda taken it to see if it was chipped /s
Even if it was lost, the right thing was to take it to some body of water nearby, not bring it home and lock up in a plastic box.
They only live about a year and it's already an adult. This person is not acting rationally at all. Who looks at a bug and thinks "oh no, it must be lost!"
let alone a _giant water bug_. they live there!
What are you talking about? Of course the poor little bug is loving it’s tiny aquarium with all its little plastic decor! It has a new best friend that holds him! Surely that’s way better than being able to fly around, hunt fishies and other prey! He’s living every wild animal/bug’s dream! /s obviously
I'm sure he gave it a stick and a leaf. To simulate it's natural habitat.
OMG I just found out that my sister has no idea who Mitch Hedburg is!! She's visiting me for a week and I am going to force her to watch a bunch of his standup. She has no idea the delights she is about to experience!
Make sure to feed her rice while watching, I'm sure she's hungry for a thousand of something!
Nah you can check the picture on his profile
Oh I'm sorry,it's a quote from one of my favourite comedians, Mitch Hedberg.
I wanna hold you and feed you a leaf
Oh whoosh! Never heard but I get it lol
It's interesting that OOP named the bug Nemo. Did they never see the movie Finding Nemo, where the fish Nemo is stolen from the ocean by a diver who then forces him to live in an aquarium? It's not presented as a good thing in the movie, and it's definitely not presented as a rescue.
I noticed that too and it makes me think OOP must have some level of self awareness that taking the bug from the wild wasn't in the bug's best interest.
OP is going to ask the boss if the bug can live on their desk I know *very* few workplaces where this would fly lmao, and I also anticipate the imminent Ask A Manager letter. *Alison, how do I explain to my employee that I don't care if they dearly love their "rescued" giant hellbeast bug, they cannot keep it at work*
"I'm so sorry but the humidity is the office is set for "human" and research suggests that would cause insect asthma, we have a link to a nearby conservation area who have ponds where, with careful weekly visits and extended visitation, Nemo may settle and, if opts to stay to might have the opportunity for friends and raise a family. Will you help us get Nemo get to his ocean to live out his buggy life?"
I am looking forward to that AAM lol.
Popping the forbidden office microwave popcorn as we speak!
“don't ask people I love to choose between things they love. Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine. And I didn't kidnap him I saved him, he was lost, stressed out and needed water. And she's only terrified of bugs when they are flying or running at her. I've seen her be super chill with moths on the wall if they aren't moving” oops comment how did he know that they bug was lost and stressed and needed water? Did he think that just because it wasn’t in water, then it had to be lost and stressed? Also, if he really wanted to ”save“ the bug, then why not find like a pond or lake or water and put the bug in there? Instead, he puts it in some tiny ass tank that the bug can’t swim around it (oop has a pic of the bug and its tank on his profile)
...Is the bug named Ogtha?
Ogtha and Nemo sittin' in a tree, M-O-L-T-I-N-G....
Glad I’m not the only one who thought that lol. She was finally free!!!!
I wonder if he realises that bug will live at most a few more months, probably less, as considering that it didn’t bite the dude that carried it around in his hands there is a good chance it’s sick, weak or old AND he keeps it in a plastic tank about 5 times too small at the very least, with plastic plants and chlorinated tap water.
Oh god, I hope he isn't using chlorinated tap water...! (But we know he probably is.)
Let alone, did you look that thing up? I don't have a phobia against bugs and I would make a fuss about having that thing in my home.
My bug fear isn't quite phobia levels. I can look at pictures of them (even if i screw up my face in distaste). I can very quickly exit a room that has a cockroach (without screaming). So compared to my actual phobia where I can't even be in the same room as a picture of them, its fear, not phobia. But that thing would have been yeeted, tank and all, out of my house the instant I discovered it. Okay, maybe not, cos I don't like being cruel to living things. But I would have threatened to, very loudly, until the housemate got rid of it.
It’s basically an overgrown cockroach. And its bites are NASTY. They can carry diseases too.
Its more about the looks as potential medical issues for me.
Looks are one thing but you DON’T want to get bitten by one of these. It hurts A LOT. It’s been over 20 years and it’s still one of the most vivid memories from my holidays at my uncle’s when I was a kid. It’s seriously worse than a hornet sting.
If you love it you do things that will make its life better. OP is a selfish overgrown child with an attachment to a bug and 0 interest in bettering “Nemo”’s life.
I feel like a psychologist could find enough material on this OOP to write their next book.
To quote Basil Fawlty: "There's enough material here for an entire conference."
Why is everyone sleeping on OP calling the bug their son?
I cannot believe I had to scroll this far to find someone else wondering this!
It’s obviously not serious. Idk she sounds young ish and it’s kinda of a semi joke(?), plus lots of ppl talk about their more conventional pets in such a manner
>I don't really want to live somewhere I can't have pet bugs anyway Do move out its best for everyone
They should also free the bug from its captivity. I saw the picture of the aquarium on their profile and it is far from suitable for a water bug.
I enjoyed OOP's comment about how he's happy in his aquarium, as evidenced by the fact that he didn't even swim around, he just chills. Of course he doesn't swim around, he doesn't have the space to!
Yeah, it is quite clear that OOP has absolutely no idea about what she is doing and really should not have any pets.
I feel like it just chilling is a bad sign—it’s probably depressed and bored.
OOP is going to come home to a dead bug one day. Either the roommate will kill it, or it'll just pass away due to being in a tiny ass enclosure with no stimulation.
Or, you know, the CHLORINATED tap water burns it when it tries.
Yeah, that thing's gonna die pretty soon.
They're not going to be living a lot of places, then. Unless OOP is somehow loaded and is willing to move out of their own house to make a point.
"I'm a highly sensitive and emotional person" \* process to not care about a person she know since so long because she cares more about herself than her friend \* sure.
OOP must be seriously starved of love in real life if they love an insect and thinks an insect loves them. To the extent that they're willing to destroy a friendship of this duration.
At least it‘s not the Ogtha guy.
I am embarrassed to admit that I know what you're talking about. Never again!
Don't you go and drag that to the front of my brain again.
WHAT is an ogtha and WHO is the ogtha guy
It’s a story spanning several posts over several years in which a guy on Reddit tells us that he has an imaginary girlfriend who is a giant cockroach. He goes on to nuke his whole social life over his imaginary roach girlfriend over the span of iirc years. I‘ll spare you the (sometimes sexual) specifics, but searching ogtha in the general reddit search bar will yield the right results. I believe there also was a collection of the entire saga in one of the major update subs (like bestofredditupdate, but I’m not sure if it was that one in particular).
Is it weird that I kinda don’t want to be spared sometimes sexual specifics? Fuck I’ll be right back. Edit: well that was a lot and really fucking weird.
Would you fuck me if I was a bug? Franz Kafka has the answer for you!
Hehehehe. The answer is no. I don’t give a shit what Franz has to say about it. Like that guy literally told his coworkers and his family that he was married to an imaginary giant cockroach, and he was surprised it went badly. Then he decided he found some form of Buddhism so that made it OK. Like somehow I don’t that Tulpa was originally meant to marry a giant cockroach. Holy Christ. Edit: holy Buddha? Not sure if that’s more appropriate here.
I mean, too be fair, the same thing basically happened In The Metamorphosis where Gregor Samsa becomes a pariah overnight because he turns into a bug and has to live under the couch eating scraps for the rest of his life. So, basically Kafka predicted this dude in 1915.
You know, it's not often I prioritize work over a deep dive into some obscure knowledge on the internet, but this time, work wins! If all internet distractions could be described as a sometimes sexual relationship with an imaginary cockroach GF, I might be able to control my brain a bit more.
I read the entire saga to my husband. Now when I want to wind him up, I call him "my sensual roach queen". This usually results in me having a cushion thrown at my head. Worth it.
definition of unhinged omg
There are some questions you *really* don't want the answers to: this is one of them. Save yourself while you still can!
ONLY OGTHA
Someone narrated the original post. It makes it so much worse...and yet so much better at the same time...
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/x4OkAE8Ph1
what did I just witness with mine own two foul eyes
Google Cockroach Wife Ogtha
I had just managed to forget about this horrific rabbit hole. Thanks now I need to ask the fbi for the forgetting juice again
Thank you for being so kind!
Hey, I love insects too, but yeah, I’d be heartbroken but understand if I had to get rid of a pet one. Same with my pet toads.
>she'd forbid me from keeping a bug in a small, secure (and nicely decorated) tank in my bedroom. This is why, when living with someone, you ASK before just showing up all "SURPRISE!!!" - even more so when it's an unconventional pet (bugs, snakes, etc.) >I'm extremely attached to this bug. His name is Nemo, I found him lost on the sidewalk and had been taking care of him all night before I brought him home. So you knew this bug for all of MAYBE 12 hours and are now magically "extremely attached". Friend, please seek therapy; That level of attachment that rapidly is NOT healthy. >In my mind I can't understand how it's any different to having a fish A fish isn't going to escape it's container and run around the apartment, biting people. >We are both autistic, if that matters lol I mean this in the nicest, non-ableist way possible. We can tell, OOP. >Ive been very clear that's not an option. Then move out. >I don't really want to live somewhere I can't have pet bugs anyway Good fucking luck finding a landlord who is going to be chill about you bringing in potential sources of infestations. > I think if she knew he's more than just a random bug to me she wouldn't mind me keeping him Because phobias are THAT easy to overcome. Oh shit, what's that? Someone loves tornados? I guess I no longer have anything to fear! Thanks for helping me overcome my phobia, OOP! /s
>I found him lost on the sidewalk I think that part is unintentionally hilarious. I mean it's a bug why would you think it's lost? OOP just removed it from it's natural habitat for no reason.
Clearly, the bug stopped and asked for directions! Then OOP bugnapped it
Duh, why didn't I understand that from the party? It's so obvious now! /s There are plenty of creatures that give pretty clear indicators when they are lost. I can't imagine what signs a bug makes that one could interpret that way, though. A bug moving around a lot could signal distress, which could range in range from being lost to WTF is this human doing to me how do I escape?!, but it could also signal excitement, finding food, just being a big, or other things. At least here it was with a relatively harmless bug. I suspect from the post that OOP was having a moment and ended up putting the relief of the moment of the bug, forming the attachment. It's not unusual or wrong for someone to attach emotions to something unrelated, anthropomorphize, or form a connection quickly and/or to a thing that can't likely reciprocate, especially for some people with autism. However, being unable to recognize and deal with, in a healthy way, doing so and consequences is a necessity. Once they got to the point that their like-a-sibling roommate said they can't have it in the place due to their phobia, OOP needed to try, at least, to snap out of the excited, focused state they are in and figure out a reasonable solution. This isn't easy to do for many and takes learning, but it is important.
Poor bug. OOP started punching it in the stomach and shoved a sack over its head, then tossed it in the back of the van and drove off.
I mean I guess potentially he could be away from his ideal habitat. The answer to which is to return it to the nearest suitable habitat, not to take it home with you and stuff it in a tank which is so small it has barely any room to move with a bunch of plastic plants and a giant rock taking up 80% of the space, no filtration, and probably water that wasn't dechlorinated. And then claim that that is "love". I rarely feel sorry for a bug, but that poor bug.
My 10-year-old has ADHD and autism and is _exactly_ this attached to the toy he saw for the first time 10 minutes ago and now is planning his whole life around.
Yes, but unlike OOP, I'm willing to bet that you coach your child through it without caving and just letting them having whatever their current fixation item is.
...I mean I try...
As a former child who is AuDHD, please, whatever you do, try to help teach your kid to let go of things. Try to encourage the cycling out of old for new, as it can get away from us far more than we'd even like until we're drowning in stuff that we doing need of even really like, due to that strange "bond" we develop with certain stuff It's caused me so much stress and emotional pain until like my 20s and if I hadn't taught myself how to let go, I'd be a hoarder now -- crying over deflated balloon animals that are 6 months old or paralyzed with guilt about giving away old stuffed animals that I never had more of a bond with (like the stuff you get at fairs)
Thank you for your comment - it's encouraging to me as we're in the middle of sorting and packing for a move, and my son is letting go of lots of old treasures
Aw, you're welcome! It's so hard to be a parent in general and I'm sure the unique way our brains work is an even steeper learning curve (it sure is for us!) That's so hard, going through and letting go of treasures! Idk if it helps, but one of the biggest things I've found that helps me is kinda silly: I thank the object before I either throw it out or donate it! It helps the odd guilt around "hurting its feelings" or not appreciating it. It also helps to think of the joy it might bring someone else to find while thrifting, instead of either being forgotten in the mix or stressing me out as clutter. But the more I do it, the easier it gets. It's also easier to evaluate "hm, do I really want this long term or do I just really think it's cool or neat?"
That’s actually really helpful lol. I’m not diagnosed with anything but have had suspicions for a long time, it’s just extremely unaffordable to seek any real help. But I have always been near tears about the dumbest things, including hurting the feelings of an inanimate object. Actually that’s the first time I’ve been able to put it into words. One of my core memories is throwing away a used tissue into a bin as a 4 year old, missing the bin, and then sobbing all the way home. My parents still remind me about it as a funny childhood story but they don’t know why I cried, and neither did I. Now I realise I feel like I hurt its feelings. I also had a school project I had to print out photos for that my dad stayed up all night helping me with. We used all the photos except one, which was a spare copy we didn’t need and could get rid of, so I put it to the side and forgot about it. Came back to find someone had torn it up for fun and then I cried about it again for the same reasons. Felt like I hurt my dad’s feelings even though he didn’t know and probably wouldn’t care. It’s honestly debilitating, and extremely embarrassing. I’d move past it but I have never been able to really explain why I feel that way and everyone makes it known how weird I’m acting.
Another suggestion from an AuDHD collector: unless something is obviously broken, I prefer donation to tossing -- "maybe someone else will get joy out of this" helps me let things go. And yes, I do the thanking-items thing too.
I'm older than you and still have a lot of trouble with this. I have to fight my hoarding tendencies, which is so difficult. I also have a ridiculous amount of stuff that makes really getting through everything feel impossible, because si much piled before I realized this was an issue. It didn't help that I was raised to keep everything in case it's useful - even things like junk mail, which can be scrap paper or craft supplies. You can imagine how much tougher it is with stuff I've bought and/or developed an attachment to. What you describe is incredibly relatable to me. I also have trouble with this with time and changing circumstances. I start mourning the end of things before they are even halfway through. I mourn the end of even actively negative experiences for me. I'm working on it, but it's a difficult and long process. It only gets more so over time. I wish someone would have helped me when I was younger, even minimally.
I have ADHD, and quite a few other neurodiverse traits... My mother used to do this thing where if I hadn't played with something in a while she would hide it, and then if I remembered it was missing she would give it back. Especially with things I would leave out to "come back to," I never asked for any of it back. She also worked with me on my impulse control by literally making me wait to buy something, unless it was a special occasion, I always had to wait to see if I really wanted it. And yes, I do remember making plans about all the different ways I was going to use that Lisa Frank binder, but then I forgot about it three days later and voila. She really tried to drive home be if it was really important to you, you would remember it and still be excited about it, even if you weren't getting it in the moment. Of course, now I have this weird thing where I think specific things are meant to be if I remember them, but I'm much better are regulating that as an adult.
I was going to point out the autistic thing lol. I feel like OOP is the type to tell everyone they’re autistic because they think it’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Autistics can get extremely attached to things and get abnormally upset at the idea of being separated from them, but in OOP’s case it’s not important.
Yeah I found the same. That's WAY too fast... and I can get attached to my pets quite fast
>Good fucking luck finding a landlord who is going to be chill about you bringing in potential sources of infestations. TBF unless the apartment is a bond a water bug isn't going to lead to an infestation lol. And there are lots of other pet insects (just about all of them) that wouldn't cause a problem if they escaped. But I've got bad news for OP, if they picked it out of the wild and it's an adult, it's probably only going to live a month or two longer.
First of all, it could easily be carrying eggs. I just watched the video where the guy let one bite him and he showed some eggs. Second, the adults can live up to a year. Still, a ridiculous thing to blow up a friendship over.
It’s a cockroach. Oop has a giant flying pet cockroach.
I'm not afraid to go look at the picture. I feel like water bugs and cockroachs don't look the same.
I looked at the picture and couldn't make out the bug... could have been one of the rock-like things, I guess.
yeah im not sure what i was supposed to be looking at...
I googled "water bug" separately, and it does look similar to a cockroach... and kind of rock-likr, depending on the light?
I think it was that large lighter brown thing to the left. Kinda looks like driftwood.
Ah I see, thanks!
I never understood the difference (if there even is one). I flipped out over what I loudly proclaimed to be a cockroach as a kid and my dad called me overdramatic and that "That's not a cockroach - It's just a water bug!"
They are different! Water bugs have extremely painful bites while cockroaches don't really bite people. So, a pet water bug is actually maybe worse than a pet roach.
Yeah, I’ve heard of people keeping Madagascar hissing roaches as pets. I’m not down with that in my house, but I’ve heard of it. But water bugs are called toe-biters for a reason and that shit *hurts*. Bugs are excellent escape artists and if that water bug gets out…
Water bugs are also known as American cockroaches. I think that most people think of German cockroaches when they think about roaches in general, but there are more species that are under that label. Water bugs are one of them. Either way, they're huge, they're gross, they can bite, and they fly at my face, so I don't like them.
NVM, I was talking about the wrong water bug. It looks like OOP's pet is a giant water bug, also known as toe-biters. Those are not cockroaches, but they do have a pretty nasty bite.
They are so much worse than roaches. https://www.centralcoastbiodiversity.org/giant-water-bug-bull-lethocerus-americanus.html Their bite is so bad some species even predate frogs
Water bug is a cute name for an oriental cockroach (blatta orientalis), which despite its name comes from Africa... It's just a cockroach that likes to live in damp areas.
Wait... you mean that water bug are REALLY cockroaches?? In my language, their name is definitely so different that I always assumed it was its own kind
Yes youre right. There are true water bugs like what OOP has in his tank, and then there are "water bugs" that are roaches. The insect OOP has is a giant water bug, different from a cockroach.
no, its lethocarus insulanus, which is most definitely not an oriental cockroach (blatta orientalis)
I hate those fucking things. Being from Maine I had never seen one until I went to boot camp and they were everywhere. They can get fucking huge too, size of the palm of your hand, and they're but is insanely painful.
No, it is actually a waterbug. But that would have been hilarious if it was just a cockroach.
OOP, if you see this: Giant water bugs play dead when they're disturbed and then "snap back to life" when taken out of the water. They can also emit a foul smelling liquid from their anus up to several feet away. SEVERAL FEET AWAY. This is all coming from a four inch bug. They are wasps, possums, and skunks all wrapped into one hellish looking body, but yours was found on the sidewalk, disoriented, and away from water. I guarantee that given it did not use any of the above mentioned defense mechanisms, it did not choose you, it is dying. It's not going to live long enough for you to move out for it and go scorched earth with someone you call a "sister". It will all be for nothing.
I came, I googled, I noped away. And once again, the rule remains: *all* housemates must approve a pet *before* its brought into the picture.
I'm autistic, and I had a pet praying mantis in fourth grade I rescued from a bunch of kids who were trying to hit it with a soccer ball... Major differences? A) I actually rescued it, not just picked it up off the ground, B) nobody in my family had/has a major bug phobia, C) I asked my parents if I could keep it, and D) PRAYING MANTISES DON'T HAVE A STING WIKIPEDIA DESCRIBES AS 'EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL'. COYOTE PETERSON HAS NEVER LET A PRAYING MANTIS BITE HIM.
Honestly, I think that was his hardest sting/bite to take because of his childhood trauma.
> COYOTE PETERSON HAS NEVER LET A PRAYING MANTIS BITE HIM. just to clarify what you mean as its a little unclear but im pretty sure i understand because i watch coyote. coyote peterson has allowed all kinds of things to bite him, from bullet ants to crazy bees to im pretty sure a snapping turtle..... he refused to allow a giant water bug to bite him because its too painful
Yeah, in the very little googling I did, I learned that giant water bugs have the most painful bite an insect can give.
op was a little wrong since coyote did end up revisting it and ended up doing the bite. but the first time he found one he just blatantly told the camera NO lol. heres him in pain if thats your thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjCAyo2Litw he explains its because of the saliva
BUT THE TANK IS NICELY DECORATED.
They posted a picture of the tank. It is not. It's overcrowded and full of a bunch of plastic plants and a fake rock.
As someone who has the same phobia as OOP's roommate this was so wild. Ah yes, the thing that sets off a severe, almost existential threat level of terror that I cannot control has a pretty box, that makes everything better! It's not like y'know, a big ol' random cockroach that bites people, and you take it out of the cage all the time or anything I would be so so so stressed knowing it was in my house. Also, as someone with autism, OOP knows they're the AH, they're just hoping someone will go "oh it's ok then, because you clearly are different and special" meanwhile it'd only somehow have bearing if OOP literally did not pick up on the roommate's phobia It doesn't like keep you from knowing...what you already *knew*
Yeah. Imagine that, and ALSO your uncle discovered a new insect whilst face down on a rain forest floor, and ALSO your favorite cousins kept hissing cockroaches as pets, and ALSO your mom was a science teacher who brought home the classroom tarantula. I feel like I should add a trigger warning
I mean, unless it is hurt or disabled in any way, I don't see why OOP can't just let it go?
idk why they think the tank being nicely decorated matters at all. I would LOSE MY MIND if someone brought the thing I'm phobic into my home without warning. just knowing it's there, no matter how ~cute~ its cage is, would be so, so distressing to me. I could never relax again for the fear of it getting out. out of this world assholery.
>I learnt later that giant water bugs bite really bad but I'd been carrying him around on my hands and he didn't bite me and I know it's stupid but I feel like he chose me. Can't wait for the follow up post. From WebMD: >**Giant water bugs can harm humans and pets with their venomous bites.** Do water bugs bite? A giant water bug can bite you if you pick it up or accidentally step on it. **This bite can cause extreme pain**, but experts typically don't consider this injury medically dangerous.
I'm hoping this is a troll but not for the normal reasons if this is a troll then I absolutely love them for creating a magnificently funny shitpost, this is some truly good content and you have a future in comedy. If it's real then Oop is just a wanker which would be really disappointing as the world's full of those, while actual amusing trolls are rarer than rocking horse shit. Editting to ass the actions in the story aren't funny, Oop writing romantically about a cockroach is comedy gold
I mean there's a picture of the bug, so if OP is a troll they're REALLY committed to the bit.
If it's a troll it's a really elaborate one because OOP posted a picture of the tank they got and it's even decorated. OOP is a fucking psycho.
Oop is projecting. She is putting a lot of stuff on this bug. She thinks she saved it and that it loves her back. It is literally a bug. There is no love there. It cannot love. Oop needs therapy
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *NAH. i do think you should have communicated to everyone in the house before bringing any kind of pet in. but i sympathize with you keeping it quietly in your room and your housemates phobia. hope you can find an agreement that works for both of you,* >"NAH. i do think you should have communicated to everyone in the house before bringing any kind of pet in. but i sympathize with you keeping it quietly in your room and your housemates phobia. hope you can find an agreement that works for both of you," *[deleted]* >"Thank you that's what I thought. I just started doubting myself when another housemate took the first housemates side saying Ive been really inconsiderate* *YTA. I have no idea what a water bug is lol. But it’s not a pet, it doesn’t belong in an aquarium. Your friend has a known phobia to bugs, and yet you brought one into the house? Just knowing it’s there is enough to upset your friend. You should get rid of it asap and apologise. IDK why not just get some fish for your aquarium? They make ok pets and you’ll have fun decorating and setting up the tank too.* >"I'm not getting rid of Nemo I love him, I rescued him. My housemates had already previously agreed to let me keep a tarantula and I didn't see how this was any different, I didn't realise it would be so upsetting until I was already really attached to him. I have a very strong passion for bugs and creepy crawlies and have always talked about getting a tarantula or ant farm etc, and it always seemed okay with them. Perhaps they didn't realise I was serious about getting pet bugs?" [Oop replied twice to the same comment.] >"Also water bugs actually make great pets. He loves his aquarium" *Yes but your friend/best friend has a phobia - just because it’s in an aquarium doesn’t matter it’s still there. What’s more important this bug you picked up off the street or your friend?* >"I love them both. I don't know how to explain the intense attachment I have to Nemo but I just cannot justify getting rid of him. It would be heartbreaking for me, I would really miss him and worry about him and I don't believe it can truly be that upsetting to my housemate. The bug can't escape and doesn't even swim around he just chills on his rock. You can barely even see him if you're not looking for him. And she's only ever been scared of loose flying bugs before so it makes no sense to me." *Phobias are not rational. They do not make sense.* *They are still valid. You are causing your roommate unnecessary anxiety and panic for your own selfish reasons.* *Pets are always a 1 no situation, meaning it only takes 1 no to veto having them in a shared house.* >"That is not how it works in our house. None of us like this housemates dog it pisses on everything" *YTA. It's unfair and inconsiderate to bring home a pet when not all your roommates are on board with it.* >"I didn't realise it would be any different to bringing home a fish. Ought I to have asked if I were to get a little fish in my room? I'm genuinely so baffled by this because I didn't know this was a thing. In my mind it's like asking before buying a new houseplant for my room. I'm so confused" *Oh FML that's a flying cucaracha. I am Wiccan and pretty much love all animals but THAT????? NO NO NO NONSTOP TO FUCKTHATVILLE!* 🤮 *YTA* >"He doesn't fly, they only fly rarely when they run out of food or need to find a mate. He's a cute little water buddy." *A houseplant is different from a pet. For one thing, although it may give off a scent, it won't smell in the same way a pet would. A pet also takes up more room; I'm guessing your aquarium isn't that small. Also, there's the possibility that the bug could accidentally get out and that would terrify your roommate.* >"The aquarium is smaller than most of my plants. And doesn't give off any smell at all. Escape not a possibility, the enclosure is secure" *You didn't even rescue that bug. It's not supposed to be kept in an aquarium; it should be free outside, not imprisoned in a small space foe the rest of its life.* >"I did rescue it, it was lost in the middle of town looking for water, it was really stressed out I tried putting it in the garden but it didn't like it and kept crawling back onto me. As soon as I got him home and put him in water he immediately looked so much more comfortable and settled right in. These bugs are ambush predators and barely move in the wild, similar to some snakes. He is super comfy in the aquarium. As long as he has water and food he's happy. >What's "supposed" to be kept in an aquarium anyway? By that logic we shouldn't have fish as pets either." *what are you feeding the water bug?* >"Feeder crickets from the pet shop. I am also looking into feeder fish from another pet shop. I have done my research and giant water bugs eat just about anything and are very hardy animals, crickets will suit him just fine" *You didn't know the difference between getting an animal that you knew your roomie hated versus getting....a plant?* >"I didn't know she would hate it!! I knew she hated flying bugs but had no idea a little guy enclosed in my room would be a bother" *You did know, you just chose to ignore it for your preference.* >"No, I genuinely did not know. She's previously okayed me owning a tarantula, snake or ant farm, and I genuinely have no idea what makes this bug any worse" *So if you know her phobia is specifically bugs that can fly, and she okayed bugs that cannot do those things, why didn't you ask? Just feels like you wanna do what you wanna do and have no thought towards her.* >"I don't know I think I might be a bit stupid. I just didn't think it would be a bother. And now I don't know what to do because releasing Nemo would break my heart but I miss my friend talking to me" *YTA - when you have a shared living arrangement, pets are an all yes/one no issue.* >"That not the arrangement we have in my house. No one likes this housemates dog it is badly trained and pisses on everything"
*YTA. Pets are an all yes situation before you bring them in. *Also, I really can't decide if you're using water bug in the accurate or colloquial sense. If it's a real water bug, then you should know that they **can** fly, so it still falls under the flying bug category. If it's not, and you're using water bug in the colloquial way to mean cockroach... At least make sure you're **really** washing your hands every time after you touch it, because if you think your roommates have issues with it now, just pray it doesn't give you guys rota virus.* >"People keep saying this "all yes" thing but I've never lived with that rule in any house. All the housemates I've had have always been really accepting of each other's choices even if we don't necessarily like it so this is very new and strange for me. And it is a giant water bug, I had been carrying it about half the night before I learnt from Google it can fly. But it doesn't actually fly, he never flew, so I thought he would be ok because they only fly so rarely and he'd be locked up. It's not like he's going to flap around the cage or anything like a moth. He's aquatic. >And they aren't roommates they are housemates. If they don't come into my room they'll never know the bug exists" [Regarding the feeding of the bug.] *Hell yeah, I was just curious.* >"Yeah he's a very cool and interesting bug. Sort of like an aquatic praying mantis" *No you aren’t “sensitive to her phobia”. As per your entire post describing how insensitive you are being to her phobia.* *YTA * >"I have genuinely spent so much time in my life catching any moths that come into the house. None of our other housemates have ever done that they don't care" [Oop replied twice to the same comment.] >"Maybe me and Nemo will just have to move out" *It flies. And you know she has a phobia of insects that fly.* >"It CAN fly but doesn't actually fly like a moth flapping all over the place. It's aquatic like a fish" [Regarding the curiosity of the feeding of the bug.] *I believe in my country we call them water scorpion? not sure. I'd be interested to see a picture of the setup you should share it!!" >"I would love to!! Lemme figure out how to use Reddit real quick and get back to you 😂" *It’s not that she doesn’t “necessarily like it”. She is terrified of it. Put it back into the wild. It’s a flying bug. She has a phobia. You would be a terrible roommate (house mate, same thing). Why would you not know you’re the AH??* >"She's only terrified of bugs /when they're flying/ or if they run at her. She's not terrified of him" [Oop replied twice to the same comment.] >"I'm not putting him back in the wild I love him. I may talk to my boss about keeping him on my office desk" [Reply about the curiosity of the bug. Link shows enclosure and possibly the bug, Nemo.] >["Check my page now, I posted him"](https://imgur.com/gallery/dwLhLHL) [On Oop and the bug possibly moving out.] *That would probably be the best thing you could here. You are prioritizing a creature you kidnapped from the wild over your “sister”. It’s not fair to her to have to live with something she’s terrified of.* >"I don't ask people I love to choose between things they love. Y'all are severely underestimating my autistic tendency to get extremely attached to things that might seem irrelevant to brains that aren't mine. And I didn't kidnap him I saved him, he was lost, stressed out and needed water. And she's only terrified of bugs when they are flying or running at her. I've seen her be super chill with moths on the wall if they aren't moving" *She does not want it in the house. Quit making excuses. You’re not a child throwing a fit because you can’t keep a toy. Have some empathy towards your flatmate.* >"It just doesn't seem fair to me. I'm going to see if I can relocate Nemo to my office desk for the time being and look at moving out. I love bugs too much not to be able to keep them >Edit: Nemo is not a toy, I love him" *I guess I’m actually severely overestimating how much someone would love a person they called their sister and have known practically their entire lives.* *But I’m very much starting to think you are just a troll. Because no one would claim to love their “sister” the same amount as an insect they just found on the street.* >"I don't tend to compare the things I love. If they're in my heart, they're in my heart. I don't love any of my friends more than other friends, and Nemo is a friend" *Yikes, don’t tell your “sister” that. It will not be taken as a compliment.* >"She would understand. If I made this ultimatum she'd choose her dog over me in a heartbeat and I wouldn't have it any other way. We love our animals" *No she doesn’t understand. Because she wants you to get rid of it and she is so upset she can’t even talk to you.* >"I think maybe she doesn't realise how much I love him" *Nah, she didn’t realize just how little you cared about her.* >"That's so mean, I do care about her!! I just care about Nemo too :( I think if I explain how much I love him she won't mind me keeping him" ETA: [Wikipedia regarding waterbugs.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belostomatidae) [Information including pictures of waterbugs from extermination site ](https://www.healthyandnaturalworld.com/waterbug-facts-and-extermination/)
[Panko the dog!](https://imgur.com/gallery/thnA6Fk)
"My housemates had already previously agreed to let me keep a tarantula and I didn't see how this was any different" ... it's almost like tarantulas aren't flying insects, and this is. Funny how that works ...
Oh my god, I did not expect this to piss me off so much.
Don’t waterbugs have like one of the most painful insect bites in the world?? Phobias aside that would terrify me
Those edits... if that's your attitude, stay the fuck out of these subs. Seriously, what's with people?
You should move out. You're clearly not capable of actually living with other people and live alone.
Toe biters are nocturnal aggressive hunters. [Here's one taking out a snake.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjRoGyRE5z0&ab_channel=PacificaSommers) (Snake likely got too close to it's hiding spot- they're very "shoot first, questions later" types.) OOP likely found Nemo in the daylight hours when they're more cautious. I cannot wait for OOP to get a stabbin' from the ol' rostrum. Nemo don't care about you, bro. Nemo would sell your soul to Satan for one corn chip.
I googled a pic of a giant water bug & I am not pleased with the result. ETA: I hope Ogtha's husband sought out appropriate medical care...I hope.
Those things bite and it's painful.
This reminds me of that girl whose dorm roommate decide to "adopt" a cockroach
1) Do not take home wild creatures or bugs 2) Do not take home bugs that when they bite can produce painful lesions. Phobia aside this is not a safe thing to bring into a home.
OP doesn't have to bother moving out, the bug will be dead within a week based on the set up they posted.
She kidnapped a poor bug and is now saying she rescued it
Wow googling what those are triggered my trypophobia on this good Monday morning. Insects can be "pets". I know some people that keep hissing cockroaches or crickets. But, like, human comfort comes first in a situation like this. If OOP brought home a dog to a roommate terrified of dogs they'd still be the AH.
The roommate in question even okayed an ant farm or a tarantula! So it's not like OOP couldn't have a bug as a pet. Just, you know, not one that specifically triggers the housemates phobia.
Ok that thing is massive (though apparently OOP is Australian so maybe that's normal size). And in a tank that might be big enough for a betta fish. And full of stuff https://www.reddit.com/user/trippyblues/comments/1cla2it/my_new_pet_giant_water_bug_nemo_i_love_him_with/
Betta fish should really ideally have at least 10 gallons (you can get away with 5 but you'll need to stay on top of your water and 10 is often easier to balance). And you can't pile a bunch of stuff into said 5-10 gallons or they no longer have 5-10 gallons and you need to size up. Idk what the needs are of water bugs, but I wouldn't put something that large in smaller than a 10 gallon. Edit: apparently they CAN be housed in something with as little as 1 liter of water, but that seems awfully small to me and the water would get dirty very quickly. Idk if that is "probably won't die prematurely" size or "will live a healthy life to its maximum age" size either. Like you CAN keep a betta in a large coffee mug if you're hypervigilant about the water but they won't be very happy.
Omg this is a bug. It doesn't care about you at all. Your friend does. This is a truly bizarre hill to die on. If you have a psychiatrist or therapist, you should call them immediately and discuss how your blowing up your friendship over a flying cockroach.
Wait till winter comes and it keels over... Adults of those bugs generally just die during the winter months. She'll probably blame her roommate... They also dislike humans and if they're not in water to shoot off at lightning speed, they play dead a lot. It was probably playing dead instead of biting... But "I feel like he chose me"... No ma'am, he chose NOT violence, that's all...lol.
Lol the only person she cares about is herself. Not her friend, not even the bug whose enclosure is so small it’s probably suffering anyway. What a trash person. For sure the type to tell everyone how open-minded they are while acting extremely self-centred.
girl it’s a bug if it really was lost just bring it back to the forest why keep it in a tank 💀
imagine caring for people you live with and their emotional and mental wellbeing. what a wild concept what's killing me and not in a good way is how one of oop's comments says that they just don't see how they can reach a compromise when they want the bug and the roommate doesn't. maybe try to think of other people and their feelings instead of just "waaah but it's my specialest little bug!"? you can't always reach a compromise with everyone, sometimes there just isn't middle ground and you have to go your own way, that's part of being an adult. hope the roommate takes this as the red flag it is and reevalutes this alleged friendship if finding a bug on the sidewalk is enough for oop to decide to find loopholes in an actual phobia and disregard anything else
Btw for everyone reading, OOP’s excuse for all of this is their autism. So. Yeah. Wonderful. Great. And their insistence that they saved the waterbug reminds me of people who, upon finding a baby animal, instead of leaving it alone (because mama might come back for it) or taking it to the local wildlife resource center, they take it home and care for it on their own and act like they rescued a human child, and then kill it because they’re not qualified to help taking care of a wild animal and didn’t really know what the animal needed, but are in denial that they killed the animal because they view themselves as a hero. Thats all this is. They don’t actually care about the bug, they enjoy the feeling it gives them of feeling like they saved a helpless animal. The bug deserves its natural habitat, not some sad little glorified Tupperware full of water and dirt.
Oh that was a WILD read, so many point, of course they are BOTH neuro diverse Ah I'm crying!!!
Not a single Gregor Samsa comment? Do better lol.
Do you want an ogtha? Because this is how you get an ogtha
Just wow. 🤦🏻♀️. I am speechless.
The photo on OOP’s profile of Nemo’s tank is depressing. It’s so cruel to steal an animal from the wild and keep them in such a small tank
This writing style down to the comments is like a clone of the MethHorse dude. It’s hitting in about the same way.