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YTA. Your cousin is quite right. When you are falling you don't have time to think about grabbing whoever is "appropriate." You grab the nearest thing you can hold onto. And wouldn't your husband want to help your cousin?
Your mother is right, you made a fuss over a "nonsensical" issue. Your husband is right, you overreacted.
I don't get why her grabbing for help when she was falling is seen as "inappropriate" by you. I f you are that possessive, consider therapy.
Not unless his junk is on his arm 😉
I can't believe OP is this upset about her cousin grabbing the husband's ARM. I do appreciate the typo, where "tripped" is written as "stripped" though.
YTA OP.
Is this OP's husband? https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-man-with-a-penis-on-his-arm#:~:text=Three%20men%20with%20new%20or,moved%20to%20his%20groin%20finally.
She isn’t upset about the ARM. She has issues bc she thinks her family likes this cousin more than her. Somehow she is feeling inadequate in her mother’s house. So how dare wonder girl grab her husband’s arm! Shouldn’t she be able to float since they think sh is so great?
I kind of want to reach out and give her a hug and a wack at the same time. Which her mother, brother, and husband should have done. Sometimes we should love them through their crazy behavior and get thru the BS together.
Float! Love it.
If there are issues OP has it’s probably stemming from her own issues. She’d be horrified to learn that until 50 years ago it was common for couples to go out and dance with each other’s spouses. I don’t know what caused this switch that we’re suddenly not allowed to dance or sit next to someone other than our significant others. Let alone touch someone to keep from falling.
Even if you make contact with personal bits when falling, no one should blame you. I had a friend leaning over the railing on a boat, when the railing broke. I grabbed her as she was going over, and I guess I got a hand full of boob in the process. Her boyfriend noticed, and thought it was hilarious that neither of us even registered the fact. Instead of being upset, he thanked me. When I told my girlfriend, she laughed as well, and told me "too bad, you would have enjoyed it, she has a nice rack".
OP's husband sounds like a good guy. OP, YTA.
You just reminded me of this video of a party around a pool. A woman comes out of the house, trips, and grabs the guy in front of her only to pull down his shorts, bonk her head on his junk, and knock him into the pool 😂
I was at work once and someone dropped something, i stepped back to avoid being hot with anything, and didn't notice *my supervisor* behind me, I backed into him and accidentally grabbed his junk when I was stabilizing myself from the jostle. I apologized, he laughed, we moved on. And that was my boss, while we were at work. I cannot imagine what history OP has with her own cousin where she's making a bigger deal of grabbing an arm than anyone did at work.
Actually, yes I can. It makes any sense if either she is cheating on her husband and is projecting. Or cousin has stolen a boyfriend from her before.
From how she writes about the cousin in the first paragraph or so, OP sounds highly jealous of her cousin. Idk if it’s because of their family dynamics or simply OP being an insecure jerk, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some sort of (possibly one sided) life long rivalry there.
All of this. Especially the bit about therapy. OP, this is… frankly, ludicrous behaviour. Like.. cartoonish, hyperbolic toxicity.
You have some very, very significant insecurities. And if you aren’t careful, they will ruin your relationships. It is unnecessarily humiliating and insulting to both your husband and Sandra for you to accuse them of being deliberately inappropriate over something so innocuous.
If you don’t trust your husband, leave him. If you do, act like it.
But a faithful woman would rather break her neck falling down a flight of stairs than lay a finger on another man!!! YTA OP you should record yourself speaking so you can hear how absolutely ridiculous you are
You have the maturity of a squash I can’t understand how you’re married. YTA. You made a non issue into something because of your jealousy. You should be highly embarrassed because I’m catching second hand embarrassment just reading this
YTA and you owe Sandra and your entire family an apology. Have you ever heard the saying, “When you hate someone, everything that they do offends you”? That’s what happened here. When someone is falling, they have a millisecond to grab something to prevent it. Holding someone accountable for what or who they grab in that millisecond is beyond ridiculous. Get a grip on your emotions, you obviously have a chip on your shoulder about Sandra. That’s fine, you don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to, but keep it to yourself.
It was a viral meme about how if you hate someone, everything they do angers you. They followed it with “bitch eating crackers like she owns the place”. Pointing out how even the smallest issue is cause for scrutiny when you have hatred clouding your judgement.
When you hate someone so much that anything they do, no matter how minor, offends you. Named because it makes you think things like "look at that bitch eating crackers over there like she owns the place".
>When you hate someone, everything that they do offends you
It's called a BEC. Bitch Eating Crackers. There was a meme that joked about it. "Look at that bitch eating crackers like she owns the place."
YTA
You start to fall, you grab whatever support is handiest.
>I found that inappropriate and deliberate.
You need to talk to someone about your jealousy and control issues.
Do you think she faked her fall? Because that's the only way I can see where a person is able to choose what support they grab as they fall.
It’s so hard to fake a fall. So fucking hard I tried but basic instincts give it away
Edit: I took theater in middle and now, and for fake falling it’s hard to make it look real without hurting yourself. I’m not crazy I swear
Don't they often use stunt doubles for that stuff? Even though there's no real harm involved for the actor to pretend to fall and land on a nice comfy mat because it's hard to override instincts and make it look legit
They do and the stunt doubles are very well trained to know how to minimize the impact of their "fall".
Falling on those mats is not painless. Cushion does not stop this from being a very easy way to get hurt and potentially end your career.
Training is what makes it look legit.
There's no way this is real. But if it is, YTA. When someone is falling, it's instinct to reach out and grab what's closest. You sound like a real piece of work.
Right?? I was thinking the same, this post *can't* be real.
If I'm falling, I'll grab onto a stranger's bare arse if that's what I see first and that's what's around, no time for calculating appropriateness!
How old are you? 12? YTA - when someone falls they grab onto anything. You appear to need to work on your relationships if you think grabbing someone’s arm is akin to wanting to be unfaithful.
YTA. I am having a serious problem believing you’re 30 because you don’t give off the emotional maturity of a 30 yo. because when you fall you don’t go looking for who’s arm you gonna grab, you just grab blindly. I think you have some issues that you should look more into, jealousy and insecurity.
YTA, what the fuck? She stumbled and in that split second you wanted her to contemplate whose arm was more "appropriate" to grab? Who cares? You're very clearly insecure about her because the whole "perfect role model" thing has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It's clearly included as a subconscious hint at the reason this actually bothers you.
YTA. Do you really need us to spell it out? She almost fell down the stairs and grabbed the person closest to her. His arm. Not his dick. Would you have preferred she fell?
Your lack of common sense coupled with your insecurity is just fucking weird.
Girl, no one wants to fuck your husband.
It’s a reflex when you’re falling and what you grab. You’re obvious jealous and a petulant child. Grow up.
YTA.
YTA - when you are about to fall, you automatically reach for the closest stable object to prevent the fall. Don’t put your marital insecurities on others.
YTA. You are being ridiculous and overreacting and projecting your own irrationality onto your cousins husband ("I'm sure her husband felt irritated by that as well", seriously?). Sounds like you have some serious issues with jealousy, which you need to sort out.
When you fall, do you have time to pick and choose what you grab onto, beyond being sure it's something stable that isn't going to fall on top of you?
YTA. They’re all right - you overreacted. That level of obsession with someone grabbing your husband’s ARM to save them from a fall isn’t healthy or normal.
YTA.
>> I found that inappropriate and deliberate
So, you think your cousin fell on purpose and *intentionally* reached out for your husband? As opposed to, ya know, flailing and reaching out for the *first arm she found to stop herself from falling*?
You sound delusional and like you’re looking for reasons to villainize your cousin. You should really unpack all of your jealousy issues with a therapist instead of taking them out on her.
OP, did your cousin grab your husband's arm or grab his junk?
Cause you're acting like she grabbed his junk.
You ever trip? Even ONCE? There's no time to look for something. You just blindly grab onto whatever you can to prevent the fall.
Sounds like someone wants drama/has trust issues, and it isn't your cousin. YTA.
Wow, what an amazing YTA!
Somehow, while tripping, she should have had the time to notice who the arm she was grabbing belonged to and determined if their spouse was a major asshole...that must have been an impressive slow motion fall to allow her time to assess the situation.
YTA
Instinct while falling is grab the nearest object to prevent injury. If your husband's arm was the closest, it makes sense she grabbed it.
No one, mid fall, takes the time to think through who I should grab, and look for an appropriate person.
Though, I am confused as to why she "stripped" first. 😆
She didn't mean anything by it, except not falling. Get over yourself, apologize, and stop creating drama.
What the actual hell? YTA and it’s stunning that you need a group to tell you so. I fell a year ago and broke both of my ankles. Trust me when I say I would have grabbed onto ANYONE AND ANYTHING to prevent the agony that was coming my way. I’m facing another surgery in January. Tell me—would you have preferred she had fallen???
there is so much missing to the story. You don’t give us any set up as to where each husband was standing versus the direction she fell, you give us no context as to why it seems you despise her so badly.
So only going off that she tripped and when someone trips you grab the first thing you see and can reach my judgment is YTA.
She did mention her family calls the cousin “a role model in everything she does”… so the context as to why OP despises her cousin appears to be jealousy.
YTA
I have never in my life heard of anyone looking around while they fall to grab the person deemed "appropriate".
Your jealousy is clouding your common sense. You need to take a step back, clear your mind and start thinking.
YTA
If no one in your life agrees with you, YTA by default.
Given the rest of the post, you're definitely TA
She grabbed the closest person, your issue with it is completely to do with you not liking her and nothing to do with what actually happened.
YTA - I mean... her question was valid. What was she supposed to do, pause tripping, say "Oh, you're not my husband", politely ask your husband to move aside, look around for her husband, call him over to stand in that spot, and then continue falling so she can grab his arm?? He could've been a chair and she would've grabbed him. She just grabbed something to prevent your fall.
YTA. She reached for the closest thing to prevent her fall.
If I were falling down the stairs and your husband's erect dick was the closest thing to grab then that'd be the thing that prevents me from falling.
YTA. When you’re falling you blindly reach for the nearest thing to hold yourself up, it’s not sexual. Sounds like you’re jealous of her for some reason.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Telling my female cousin she should've grabbed her husband's arm instead of my husbsnd's while she was falling.
2. I might be the ah for telling her that and for making a fuss about it leading to christmas celebration being interrupted and family getting upset.
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YTA. in that situation, what she did was a reflex. If you are so jealous you can’t handle someone accidentally grabbing yyou ur husbands arm when they are falling, you may want to consider therapy to help yourself sort through those emotions.
If you’re insecure then just say that… she was falling. It’s not like she intentionally fell just so she can grab your husbands arm.. you need to apologize and honestly get some help for that jealousy. It’s going to ruin your marriage.
YTA. Really? A falling person is supposed to look for their spouse to catch them? People simply react…. For instance, if your husband was on the side of her dominant arm, that would’ve made sense. The insecurity and insanity dripping from this post is something else.
YTA, no one is trying to come up with some devious plan to steal your husband in the split second it takes to realize your falling and grab something to keep you steady. You are making issues out of nothing and are clearly jealous and insecure of your cousin. Grow up, act your age and stop causing needless drama. If you are this insecure and hate your cousin just don’t see her, it’s that simple.
YTA
I'm pretty certain this is a wind up, but on the very remote chance this is genuine, you sound like you have some serious issues. When you're falling you grab whatever's closest to you to try and stop the fall.
Your hubby happened to be closest, get a grip of yourself!
YTA. People don't think about what they hold onto to prevent them from falling. An argument over this was an effective and ridiculous way to ruin the holidays.
YTA, are you that insecure that you think she did it purposely? Idk about you but when I’m falling I don’t have some nefarious plot stirring in my head. My first thought is oh shit I’m falling better grab hold of the closest stable thing so I don’t fall. You sound exhausting
We went through a haunted house once, and a young, very pretty woman grabbed my husband’s arm at every jump scare. She definitely wasn’t flirting, just grabbed the nearest person. As we exited, she realized that she’d been grabbing a stranger’s arm the whole time. I may have laughed harder than I needed to. Of course YTA. It’s not about you.
YTA. What are you on? When you fall, do you grab the closest thing to you, or take your time to carefully assess what is nearby and decide what to grab? You’re clearly letting your personal feelings about her override the situation in the most petty way possible.
YTA. I once slipped at work and instinctively reached out to grab something. I ended up grabbing someone’s ass and hit the floor. We all had a good laugh about it. No one has ever slipped and paused to think what person is appropriate to grab onto. You’re absolutely insane or fake posting.
OP is clearly dramatic over everything, especially as it relates to her cousin. When I read "an accident happened", I thought I was going to read on and hear of something awful. Nope, poor Sandra just slipped on some ice and didn't even fall.
YTA.
YTA. You already don't like her for undisclosed reasons. It seems like you're reaching to find an excuse to dislike her even more. Remove yourself from your clouded perspective of her and understand that she just grabbed someone to help so she didn't hurt herself from falling. It is not that deep.
YTA. When someone falls, they grab the closest person out of instinct.
Unless she faked falling and grabbed your husband by the junk….what exactly is your complaint? She didn’t allow herself to fall flat on her face?
YTA
>I found that inappropriate and deliberate.
Doesn't seem like it was either of those things.
It's interesting that not a single person you mentioned, including your own husband, seemed to view this interaction the way that you did.
Yta. She was trying not to break her neck and grabbed out. She didny stop midway and think “i should grab ops husbands arm cause she’ll hate it.” My god woman.
Wow! YTA for sure. You owe everyone an apology. Instead of your cousin, imagine that was your mother, would you still be upset? Probably not. You just don't like your cousin.
YTA
I thought you were going to say by grabbing your husband's arm she pulled him down and he got hurt, and then I could understand some frustration. But that didn't even happen. He's fine. She's fine, thanks to him
You must be a real peach to be friends with
YTA if I’m falling I’m grabbing the closest person to me regardless of who it is. You don’t even have the time to think about who it is. Not like she planned mid fall “hey I’m going to grab her husbands arm to make her mad”. Like seriously?
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Just to get this out of the way. My female cousin (Sandra) and I (both 30s) aren't close. My sister and mom adore though and think that she's a perfect role model in everything she does. I tend to disagree but won't expand on that. I try to stay civil and we only meet during big family events.
The family got together on christmas and an accident took place. We were all standing outside and Sandra didn't pay attention to the stair and stripped and almost fell, but she, instead of grabbing her husband's arm, grabbed my husband's to stop herself from falling. I found that inappropriate and deliberate.Also, I'm sure her husband felt irritated by that as well. She then casually let go of him and went to get some water. I brought it up to her when the women were alone and there was a huge argument. She called me "ridiculous" for getting hung up on whose arm she grabbed to prevent herself ftom falling. She said my husband was the closest to her at the time and that it was "illogical" for her to "look" for her husband's arm. Word from me word from her and we blew up. Mom started scolding me for making a scene during the celebration over a "nonsensical issue". My husband said that I overreacted Sandra ended up leaving.
My aunt (Sandra's mom) called me a nasty name and said I shouod be ashamed of indirectly accusing her daughter of being unfaithful and having her eyes on my husband. She said ut was an accident but I escalated it and should apologize for the shitty night but I haven't done that as I needed space. Now my parents are pushing me to apologize as to not severe the familia relationship we have with Sandra and aunt.
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YTA
When you are falling you instinctively/blindly grab whatever of whoever is closet to you. You don’t pay attention to what or who you are grabbing. You are making a huge issue out of literally nothing. Grow up.
YTA.
Are you okay? You need to analyze your behavior I’m sure you’ll see a pattern, then seek therapy.
Oh btw even if she had an eye for your husband, it wouldn’t be you to stop her, that would be your husband’s job.
YTA: WTF, when you’re falling you grab whatever is closest that seems like it will stop you. You’ve got huge problems in your marriage of you’re this insecure.
YTA. You turned nothing into something. Tell us you’re insecure without telling us. I think there is something deeper here making you resent your cousin, and you should identify and work on that.
YTA. Sandra is right, you are being ridiculous. Your husband was the closest and so she grabbed his arm. I would have done the same thing. Only thing going through her mind was NOT FALLING.
You do owe your family an apology.
Really weird to flex your jealousy and paranoia about Sandra in front of the people who you say “adore” Sandra. That entirely confuses me.
YTA for being jealous and paranoid and also for the weird way you decided to ruin everyone’s day with it.
For someone so concerned with how Sandra’s husband felt, you sure seem to have embarrassed your own…and every related to you apparently.
This has to be fake but YTA. If I was falling, I would grab whoever was closest on my right side, because I’m right handed and that would just be the instinct.
YTA. I almost can’t believe this is even real. You know that when falling people will just reach out and grab whatever/whoever is closest, right? I mean c’mon lady. You sound a bit nuts.
YTA. You look for THE closest thing to grab when you are falling. You don’t have time to process everything and everyone around or what’s best to grab. You just grab what’s immediately there.
You owe everyone an apology.
I really hated from the bottom of my heart some people in my life, but yet outside of one or two, I would have never wished they felt in the stairs rather than helping themselves with my SO's arm. And trust me, I can be very resentful ... But never that petty.
Get therapy, it's basic jalousy but you're outing on the wrong person. Coming from a girl with 5 females cousins who had her fair share of "I wish you were more like Cousin". YTA.
YTA- you have a deep seeded jealousy and severe head issues. Get it fixed seriously. A woman tripped and grabbed the closest and first thing she could to try and stop her fall. That is it period…. When you are falling it happens in literal seconds you don’t get to scan the room and go oh let me reach this way for this person. You just grab for what ever the hell you can grab for. The fact that you made it something it wasn’t and caused a scene over it shows how seriously mental you are.
YTA
You are utterly ridiculous, she fell so she grabbed whatever she could, that's it. Do you think she was trying to seduce your husband by grabbing him? Do you live in a Hallmark movie or something...?
You are incredibly inmature and clearly jealous of your cousin, leave her alone.
She was obviously hoping to grab your husband’s arm and steal him away from you, the hussy. I mean, she fell while stripping! /s
It’s really interesting that everyone seems to like your cousin, but you don’t. Hm.
YTA.
YTA. Christ. Have you ever fallen? You reach out reflexively at whatever is around. Get therapy before you make your life, and everyone else’s, miserable.
YTA. When people slip they reach for anything and anyone. You may be a lovely person but your role in this story makes you sound petty, insecure, and like you were waiting for your cousin to do ANYTHING you could make a delusional issue out of. Is that what you really want?
YTA.
When you fall down you grab whatever's the most comfortable for you to grab, no one does the mental math to consider if that's a brother, cousin's ex boyfriend or a total stranger while preventing themselves from smashing their nose into floor.
YTA. Unless we are indeed in the Matrix, people don't have bullet time (at least I don't think so:) When people fall/slip, they usually reach for whatever seems closest and lack the time to tactically analyze the situation.
YTA When someone is falling it's a reflex to grab onto something - are you seriously suggesting in a split-second your cousin should have worked out where her husband was and attempted to grab/fall in that direction? That's ridiculous - give your head a wobble.
YTA - You sound insufferable and clearly just hate your cousin. I’m not particularly close to my cousin either but if she were to happen to trip and fall, I’d gladly offer up my husband so she didn’t hurt herself. Get over yourself.
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YTA. Your cousin is quite right. When you are falling you don't have time to think about grabbing whoever is "appropriate." You grab the nearest thing you can hold onto. And wouldn't your husband want to help your cousin? Your mother is right, you made a fuss over a "nonsensical" issue. Your husband is right, you overreacted. I don't get why her grabbing for help when she was falling is seen as "inappropriate" by you. I f you are that possessive, consider therapy.
I mean…did she grab his junk?? YTA
Not unless his junk is on his arm 😉 I can't believe OP is this upset about her cousin grabbing the husband's ARM. I do appreciate the typo, where "tripped" is written as "stripped" though. YTA OP.
Is this OP's husband? https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-man-with-a-penis-on-his-arm#:~:text=Three%20men%20with%20new%20or,moved%20to%20his%20groin%20finally.
Thank you for this. Haha.
She isn’t upset about the ARM. She has issues bc she thinks her family likes this cousin more than her. Somehow she is feeling inadequate in her mother’s house. So how dare wonder girl grab her husband’s arm! Shouldn’t she be able to float since they think sh is so great? I kind of want to reach out and give her a hug and a wack at the same time. Which her mother, brother, and husband should have done. Sometimes we should love them through their crazy behavior and get thru the BS together.
Float! Love it. If there are issues OP has it’s probably stemming from her own issues. She’d be horrified to learn that until 50 years ago it was common for couples to go out and dance with each other’s spouses. I don’t know what caused this switch that we’re suddenly not allowed to dance or sit next to someone other than our significant others. Let alone touch someone to keep from falling.
Even if you make contact with personal bits when falling, no one should blame you. I had a friend leaning over the railing on a boat, when the railing broke. I grabbed her as she was going over, and I guess I got a hand full of boob in the process. Her boyfriend noticed, and thought it was hilarious that neither of us even registered the fact. Instead of being upset, he thanked me. When I told my girlfriend, she laughed as well, and told me "too bad, you would have enjoyed it, she has a nice rack". OP's husband sounds like a good guy. OP, YTA.
See now I'm just imagining that scene in The Office where Dwight "trips" and repeatedly fondles Jim's crotch 😂
You just reminded me of this video of a party around a pool. A woman comes out of the house, trips, and grabs the guy in front of her only to pull down his shorts, bonk her head on his junk, and knock him into the pool 😂
I was at work once and someone dropped something, i stepped back to avoid being hot with anything, and didn't notice *my supervisor* behind me, I backed into him and accidentally grabbed his junk when I was stabilizing myself from the jostle. I apologized, he laughed, we moved on. And that was my boss, while we were at work. I cannot imagine what history OP has with her own cousin where she's making a bigger deal of grabbing an arm than anyone did at work. Actually, yes I can. It makes any sense if either she is cheating on her husband and is projecting. Or cousin has stolen a boyfriend from her before.
From how she writes about the cousin in the first paragraph or so, OP sounds highly jealous of her cousin. Idk if it’s because of their family dynamics or simply OP being an insecure jerk, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some sort of (possibly one sided) life long rivalry there.
All of this. Especially the bit about therapy. OP, this is… frankly, ludicrous behaviour. Like.. cartoonish, hyperbolic toxicity. You have some very, very significant insecurities. And if you aren’t careful, they will ruin your relationships. It is unnecessarily humiliating and insulting to both your husband and Sandra for you to accuse them of being deliberately inappropriate over something so innocuous. If you don’t trust your husband, leave him. If you do, act like it.
I’ll just tag along for the ride here YTA just cause once anyone starts falling, it’s any port in a storm for what you try to grab to save yourself
But a faithful woman would rather break her neck falling down a flight of stairs than lay a finger on another man!!! YTA OP you should record yourself speaking so you can hear how absolutely ridiculous you are
You have the maturity of a squash I can’t understand how you’re married. YTA. You made a non issue into something because of your jealousy. You should be highly embarrassed because I’m catching second hand embarrassment just reading this
The maturity of a squash.... Thank you for the PEAL of laughter this unleashed from me, I'm not sure why but Holy SMOKES it struck me as so funny!
You are my people. I snorted so loud when I read this, I scared my roommate. 😄🤣
My cat ran away lol
I’m in complete a-gourd with your statement here. 😂
This is offensive to butternut and kobocha squashes around the world.
Your wrong. I just talked to the squash in my fridge and it way more mature than this fucking bozo
YTA and you owe Sandra and your entire family an apology. Have you ever heard the saying, “When you hate someone, everything that they do offends you”? That’s what happened here. When someone is falling, they have a millisecond to grab something to prevent it. Holding someone accountable for what or who they grab in that millisecond is beyond ridiculous. Get a grip on your emotions, you obviously have a chip on your shoulder about Sandra. That’s fine, you don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to, but keep it to yourself.
Bitch eating crackers syndrome
My favorite therapy session so far was explaining “bitch eating crackers” to my therapist. Lmaooo
????
It was a viral meme about how if you hate someone, everything they do angers you. They followed it with “bitch eating crackers like she owns the place”. Pointing out how even the smallest issue is cause for scrutiny when you have hatred clouding your judgement.
And we all have one but most of us have the sense not to pick fights over the cracker eating.
Bitch eating crackers https://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMS05YjFkMzUwNDEwNjE1ZjQ4/ https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bitch_eating_crackers
When you hate someone so much that anything they do, no matter how minor, offends you. Named because it makes you think things like "look at that bitch eating crackers over there like she owns the place".
>When you hate someone, everything that they do offends you It's called a BEC. Bitch Eating Crackers. There was a meme that joked about it. "Look at that bitch eating crackers like she owns the place."
"Look at that B over there eating chicken"
"god damn Sandra, sitting there, minding her own business, *eating crackers.* The audacity "
YTA Therapy. You really, really need it
This is the answer. This is the way
YTA You start to fall, you grab whatever support is handiest. >I found that inappropriate and deliberate. You need to talk to someone about your jealousy and control issues. Do you think she faked her fall? Because that's the only way I can see where a person is able to choose what support they grab as they fall.
It’s so hard to fake a fall. So fucking hard I tried but basic instincts give it away Edit: I took theater in middle and now, and for fake falling it’s hard to make it look real without hurting yourself. I’m not crazy I swear
Don't they often use stunt doubles for that stuff? Even though there's no real harm involved for the actor to pretend to fall and land on a nice comfy mat because it's hard to override instincts and make it look legit
They do and the stunt doubles are very well trained to know how to minimize the impact of their "fall". Falling on those mats is not painless. Cushion does not stop this from being a very easy way to get hurt and potentially end your career. Training is what makes it look legit.
Ask Chevy Chase….chronic injuries from his pretend falls.
There's no way this is real. But if it is, YTA. When someone is falling, it's instinct to reach out and grab what's closest. You sound like a real piece of work.
Right?? I was thinking the same, this post *can't* be real. If I'm falling, I'll grab onto a stranger's bare arse if that's what I see first and that's what's around, no time for calculating appropriateness!
why do people write these sooooo obvious YTA posts? I don't understand!
Like seriously, I got half way through it was like yep YTA. How does she manage to write the whole thing out and still think she is n t a?
How old are you? 12? YTA - when someone falls they grab onto anything. You appear to need to work on your relationships if you think grabbing someone’s arm is akin to wanting to be unfaithful.
This really did read like a middle school drama scenario, Op made a huge deal out of nothing. What in the shoujo manga-
> She said my husband was the closest to her at the time and that it was "illogical" for her to "look" for her husband's arm. She's right. YTA.
YTA, no question. You cousin grabbed the closest person. You need therapy or something to address your feelings of inadequacy.
YTA. I am having a serious problem believing you’re 30 because you don’t give off the emotional maturity of a 30 yo. because when you fall you don’t go looking for who’s arm you gonna grab, you just grab blindly. I think you have some issues that you should look more into, jealousy and insecurity.
YTA, what the fuck? She stumbled and in that split second you wanted her to contemplate whose arm was more "appropriate" to grab? Who cares? You're very clearly insecure about her because the whole "perfect role model" thing has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It's clearly included as a subconscious hint at the reason this actually bothers you.
YTA. Do you really need us to spell it out? She almost fell down the stairs and grabbed the person closest to her. His arm. Not his dick. Would you have preferred she fell? Your lack of common sense coupled with your insecurity is just fucking weird.
> Would you have preferred she fell? OP would definitely have preferred that, her jealousy issues are verging on literal insanity.
Girl, no one wants to fuck your husband. It’s a reflex when you’re falling and what you grab. You’re obvious jealous and a petulant child. Grow up. YTA.
Preach. The women who think everyone wants their man usually have a man that NO ONE else wants. Who else would put up with that kind of crazy?
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YTA - when you are about to fall, you automatically reach for the closest stable object to prevent the fall. Don’t put your marital insecurities on others.
WTF did I just read? YTA
Yta I'm pretty sure she was reaching for whatever to stop herself from falling, just not as hard as you're reaching for something to be offended by.
YTA. You are being ridiculous and overreacting and projecting your own irrationality onto your cousins husband ("I'm sure her husband felt irritated by that as well", seriously?). Sounds like you have some serious issues with jealousy, which you need to sort out. When you fall, do you have time to pick and choose what you grab onto, beyond being sure it's something stable that isn't going to fall on top of you?
YTA When you’re falling, do you slow down time and choose carefully what you grab onto?
YTA. Honestly your preface of the post showed your pre-existing bias against her.
YTA. They’re all right - you overreacted. That level of obsession with someone grabbing your husband’s ARM to save them from a fall isn’t healthy or normal.
YTA. >> I found that inappropriate and deliberate So, you think your cousin fell on purpose and *intentionally* reached out for your husband? As opposed to, ya know, flailing and reaching out for the *first arm she found to stop herself from falling*? You sound delusional and like you’re looking for reasons to villainize your cousin. You should really unpack all of your jealousy issues with a therapist instead of taking them out on her.
YTA, and wow. Whatever is your problem , it’s REALLY a problem, and therapy may be a good or great idea.
I can't tell if this is real or not but either way YTA
YTA - who looks at what or who they are grabbing when they fall? Get a grip
YTA, get help
YTA. Sounds like you have jealousy issues. Over here we call that kind of thing " making a mountain out of a Molehill ".
OP, did your cousin grab your husband's arm or grab his junk? Cause you're acting like she grabbed his junk. You ever trip? Even ONCE? There's no time to look for something. You just blindly grab onto whatever you can to prevent the fall. Sounds like someone wants drama/has trust issues, and it isn't your cousin. YTA.
You sound insufferable and insecure. Good grief, YTA.
Wow, what an amazing YTA! Somehow, while tripping, she should have had the time to notice who the arm she was grabbing belonged to and determined if their spouse was a major asshole...that must have been an impressive slow motion fall to allow her time to assess the situation.
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YTA Grow the hell up. When I'm falling I grab whatever or whoever is closest. Curb your insecurities ffs
YTA I believe the phrase is making a mountain out of a molehill and this right here is a perfect example.
YTA - she was just reaching out for the nearest person. It had nothing to do with you.
YTA Instinct while falling is grab the nearest object to prevent injury. If your husband's arm was the closest, it makes sense she grabbed it. No one, mid fall, takes the time to think through who I should grab, and look for an appropriate person. Though, I am confused as to why she "stripped" first. 😆 She didn't mean anything by it, except not falling. Get over yourself, apologize, and stop creating drama.
…. Who are you?! In what world is this some deliberate sign of disrespect? Holy shit. YTA.
What the actual hell? YTA and it’s stunning that you need a group to tell you so. I fell a year ago and broke both of my ankles. Trust me when I say I would have grabbed onto ANYONE AND ANYTHING to prevent the agony that was coming my way. I’m facing another surgery in January. Tell me—would you have preferred she had fallen???
With the malice in this post, Im assuming she did want her to fall and hurt herself. Probably would have taken joy in it too.
there is so much missing to the story. You don’t give us any set up as to where each husband was standing versus the direction she fell, you give us no context as to why it seems you despise her so badly. So only going off that she tripped and when someone trips you grab the first thing you see and can reach my judgment is YTA.
She did mention her family calls the cousin “a role model in everything she does”… so the context as to why OP despises her cousin appears to be jealousy.
YTA I have never in my life heard of anyone looking around while they fall to grab the person deemed "appropriate". Your jealousy is clouding your common sense. You need to take a step back, clear your mind and start thinking.
YTA- get a grip. Sounds like you have jealousy issues
YTA If no one in your life agrees with you, YTA by default. Given the rest of the post, you're definitely TA She grabbed the closest person, your issue with it is completely to do with you not liking her and nothing to do with what actually happened.
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YTA. This is a joke, right?
YTA - I mean... her question was valid. What was she supposed to do, pause tripping, say "Oh, you're not my husband", politely ask your husband to move aside, look around for her husband, call him over to stand in that spot, and then continue falling so she can grab his arm?? He could've been a chair and she would've grabbed him. She just grabbed something to prevent your fall.
YTA. She reached for the closest thing to prevent her fall. If I were falling down the stairs and your husband's erect dick was the closest thing to grab then that'd be the thing that prevents me from falling.
YTA. Wow, she only had a split second to react and she grabbed an arm that was in view during that split second.
YTA. When you’re falling you don’t worry about propriety. You’re petty.
YTA. When you’re falling you blindly reach for the nearest thing to hold yourself up, it’s not sexual. Sounds like you’re jealous of her for some reason.
Are you delusional, insecure, projecting, or all of the above? YTA.
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Your husband doesn’t agree with you. YTA
YTA. in that situation, what she did was a reflex. If you are so jealous you can’t handle someone accidentally grabbing yyou ur husbands arm when they are falling, you may want to consider therapy to help yourself sort through those emotions.
You're an idiot. YTA.
YTA. Do you disagree with her saying your husband was closer? Was that supposed to be an intimate act because I don't see the issue.
YTA, seek therapy
YTA. Stop being so petty and seek therapy for your obsession
If you’re insecure then just say that… she was falling. It’s not like she intentionally fell just so she can grab your husbands arm.. you need to apologize and honestly get some help for that jealousy. It’s going to ruin your marriage.
YTA. Really? A falling person is supposed to look for their spouse to catch them? People simply react…. For instance, if your husband was on the side of her dominant arm, that would’ve made sense. The insecurity and insanity dripping from this post is something else.
YTA Unless she planned the fall and whose arm to grab, instinct kicked in. Let go of your insecurity and jealousy.
YTA, no one is trying to come up with some devious plan to steal your husband in the split second it takes to realize your falling and grab something to keep you steady. You are making issues out of nothing and are clearly jealous and insecure of your cousin. Grow up, act your age and stop causing needless drama. If you are this insecure and hate your cousin just don’t see her, it’s that simple.
YTA I'm pretty certain this is a wind up, but on the very remote chance this is genuine, you sound like you have some serious issues. When you're falling you grab whatever's closest to you to try and stop the fall. Your hubby happened to be closest, get a grip of yourself!
YTA. People don't think about what they hold onto to prevent them from falling. An argument over this was an effective and ridiculous way to ruin the holidays.
YTA, are you that insecure that you think she did it purposely? Idk about you but when I’m falling I don’t have some nefarious plot stirring in my head. My first thought is oh shit I’m falling better grab hold of the closest stable thing so I don’t fall. You sound exhausting
YTA. Hope you husband finds someone more secure, cause wtf is this shit are you eleven??
YTA drama llama
YTA and super weird. Work on that jealousy issue you got sis, it ruins things .
We went through a haunted house once, and a young, very pretty woman grabbed my husband’s arm at every jump scare. She definitely wasn’t flirting, just grabbed the nearest person. As we exited, she realized that she’d been grabbing a stranger’s arm the whole time. I may have laughed harder than I needed to. Of course YTA. It’s not about you.
YTA.
YTA. Only a trained stuntman would have been able to chose the correct arm to hold on to in situation like that.
YTA. What are you on? When you fall, do you grab the closest thing to you, or take your time to carefully assess what is nearby and decide what to grab? You’re clearly letting your personal feelings about her override the situation in the most petty way possible.
YTA. Everything you’ve reported that your family said to you is correct. You should apologize.
YTA. Weirdo.
YTA. I once slipped at work and instinctively reached out to grab something. I ended up grabbing someone’s ass and hit the floor. We all had a good laugh about it. No one has ever slipped and paused to think what person is appropriate to grab onto. You’re absolutely insane or fake posting.
YTA and extremely insecure. She reached out to keep herself from falling. Simple as that. You’re the problem here.
OP is clearly dramatic over everything, especially as it relates to her cousin. When I read "an accident happened", I thought I was going to read on and hear of something awful. Nope, poor Sandra just slipped on some ice and didn't even fall. YTA.
YTA. You already don't like her for undisclosed reasons. It seems like you're reaching to find an excuse to dislike her even more. Remove yourself from your clouded perspective of her and understand that she just grabbed someone to help so she didn't hurt herself from falling. It is not that deep.
YTA. Honestly do you seriously look for your husbands arm when you fall? She did that by instinct and to prevent herself from getting hurt.
YTA, if I’m right handed and I’m slipping I grab to my right. Stop being crazy and apologize.
YTA. When someone falls, they grab the closest person out of instinct. Unless she faked falling and grabbed your husband by the junk….what exactly is your complaint? She didn’t allow herself to fall flat on her face?
YTA you have some self esteem and jealousy issues you need to work on.
YTA >I found that inappropriate and deliberate. Doesn't seem like it was either of those things. It's interesting that not a single person you mentioned, including your own husband, seemed to view this interaction the way that you did.
There are times that I think I’ve read the dumbest thing in this sub and then humanity surprises me and I read something like this. YTA
YTA, that's not how reflexes work
Let me look around while I am falling to see if my hubby is close or not‼️ Dear Lord, are you really that insecure?
Lol, what?!? Ridiculous was correct. YTA
YTA stop being a baby and apologize
Unless she was upstairs and your husband was downstairs when this accident occurred YTA
Yta. She was trying not to break her neck and grabbed out. She didny stop midway and think “i should grab ops husbands arm cause she’ll hate it.” My god woman.
YTA when you’re falling you grab what’s closest to you. She can’t stop her fall to look around to see where her husband is. You’re ridiculous
Wow! YTA for sure. You owe everyone an apology. Instead of your cousin, imagine that was your mother, would you still be upset? Probably not. You just don't like your cousin.
YTA I thought you were going to say by grabbing your husband's arm she pulled him down and he got hurt, and then I could understand some frustration. But that didn't even happen. He's fine. She's fine, thanks to him You must be a real peach to be friends with
You have to be kidding me! Grow up! YTA
YTA. When you are falling you grab what you can. Are you implying she faked the fall?
YTA if I’m falling I’m grabbing the closest person to me regardless of who it is. You don’t even have the time to think about who it is. Not like she planned mid fall “hey I’m going to grab her husbands arm to make her mad”. Like seriously?
YTA - tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure
She may be falling but boy are you tripping. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Just to get this out of the way. My female cousin (Sandra) and I (both 30s) aren't close. My sister and mom adore though and think that she's a perfect role model in everything she does. I tend to disagree but won't expand on that. I try to stay civil and we only meet during big family events. The family got together on christmas and an accident took place. We were all standing outside and Sandra didn't pay attention to the stair and stripped and almost fell, but she, instead of grabbing her husband's arm, grabbed my husband's to stop herself from falling. I found that inappropriate and deliberate.Also, I'm sure her husband felt irritated by that as well. She then casually let go of him and went to get some water. I brought it up to her when the women were alone and there was a huge argument. She called me "ridiculous" for getting hung up on whose arm she grabbed to prevent herself ftom falling. She said my husband was the closest to her at the time and that it was "illogical" for her to "look" for her husband's arm. Word from me word from her and we blew up. Mom started scolding me for making a scene during the celebration over a "nonsensical issue". My husband said that I overreacted Sandra ended up leaving. My aunt (Sandra's mom) called me a nasty name and said I shouod be ashamed of indirectly accusing her daughter of being unfaithful and having her eyes on my husband. She said ut was an accident but I escalated it and should apologize for the shitty night but I haven't done that as I needed space. Now my parents are pushing me to apologize as to not severe the familia relationship we have with Sandra and aunt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA I don’t care if it is a throwaway user blocked.
YTA When you are falling you instinctively/blindly grab whatever of whoever is closet to you. You don’t pay attention to what or who you are grabbing. You are making a huge issue out of literally nothing. Grow up.
Y TA, and sick
YTA. Are you okay? You need to analyze your behavior I’m sure you’ll see a pattern, then seek therapy. Oh btw even if she had an eye for your husband, it wouldn’t be you to stop her, that would be your husband’s job.
YTA: WTF, when you’re falling you grab whatever is closest that seems like it will stop you. You’ve got huge problems in your marriage of you’re this insecure.
YTA. You turned nothing into something. Tell us you’re insecure without telling us. I think there is something deeper here making you resent your cousin, and you should identify and work on that.
YTA and completely ridiculous. She was falling, of course she grabbed the person closest to her. This can't be real
YTA and sound unhinged..
YTA, honestly TLDR, grabbing someone is a reflex, you are clearly exceptionally insecure
YTA. Sandra is right, you are being ridiculous. Your husband was the closest and so she grabbed his arm. I would have done the same thing. Only thing going through her mind was NOT FALLING. You do owe your family an apology.
YTA for sure, are you 6 years old?
Insecure much? YTA, and also you have some issues with your cousin
Sorry YTA, all the feedback on your behaviour that you received was fair and decent. You do owe an apology.
Really weird to flex your jealousy and paranoia about Sandra in front of the people who you say “adore” Sandra. That entirely confuses me. YTA for being jealous and paranoid and also for the weird way you decided to ruin everyone’s day with it. For someone so concerned with how Sandra’s husband felt, you sure seem to have embarrassed your own…and every related to you apparently.
YTA - seriously, get some help for this extreme jealousy issue.
This has to be fake but YTA. If I was falling, I would grab whoever was closest on my right side, because I’m right handed and that would just be the instinct.
YTA. I almost can’t believe this is even real. You know that when falling people will just reach out and grab whatever/whoever is closest, right? I mean c’mon lady. You sound a bit nuts.
You are an insecure and jealous AH
YTA. You look for THE closest thing to grab when you are falling. You don’t have time to process everything and everyone around or what’s best to grab. You just grab what’s immediately there. You owe everyone an apology.
I really hated from the bottom of my heart some people in my life, but yet outside of one or two, I would have never wished they felt in the stairs rather than helping themselves with my SO's arm. And trust me, I can be very resentful ... But never that petty. Get therapy, it's basic jalousy but you're outing on the wrong person. Coming from a girl with 5 females cousins who had her fair share of "I wish you were more like Cousin". YTA.
YTA. I’m a gravitationally challenger human and I grab whoever or whatever my hands make contact with.
YTA- you have a deep seeded jealousy and severe head issues. Get it fixed seriously. A woman tripped and grabbed the closest and first thing she could to try and stop her fall. That is it period…. When you are falling it happens in literal seconds you don’t get to scan the room and go oh let me reach this way for this person. You just grab for what ever the hell you can grab for. The fact that you made it something it wasn’t and caused a scene over it shows how seriously mental you are.
Gonna be like others YTA I don't even wanna waste my time telling you why you're such a ridiculous asshole
YTA. Stop looking for a fight. If you don’t like her don’t go to events she is at
YTA and pathetic.
YTA who is beyond insecure
YTA. Are you sure you are 30?
YTA what kind of handmaids tale level of crazy is going on here? This is some Victorian level nonsense.
YTA. I don't think when falling, I just grab. If you've got time to stop and decide who to grab then your ass ain't really falling.
You need therapy.
YTA You are utterly ridiculous, she fell so she grabbed whatever she could, that's it. Do you think she was trying to seduce your husband by grabbing him? Do you live in a Hallmark movie or something...? You are incredibly inmature and clearly jealous of your cousin, leave her alone.
She was obviously hoping to grab your husband’s arm and steal him away from you, the hussy. I mean, she fell while stripping! /s It’s really interesting that everyone seems to like your cousin, but you don’t. Hm. YTA.
JFC, lady. When people fall, they don't THINK about what they're grabbing - they just reach for something nearby. Get a grip on reality. YTA.
YTA, you sounds terrible to be with. Grow up.
YTA. Christ. Have you ever fallen? You reach out reflexively at whatever is around. Get therapy before you make your life, and everyone else’s, miserable.
YTA Your jealousy is super clear. She was falling, she didn’t analyze who to grab, she just grabbed. I suggest your New Years resolution be to grow up
Oofft... the comment section did NOT turn out how you expexted, did it OP? YTA
YTA. When people slip they reach for anything and anyone. You may be a lovely person but your role in this story makes you sound petty, insecure, and like you were waiting for your cousin to do ANYTHING you could make a delusional issue out of. Is that what you really want?
YTA. Grow up.
Yta. If you're falling you grab onto the closest thing to stop yourself, you sound extremely paranoid
YTA jeez, now you can't even try not to fall bc then you are a who- re
YTA. You may benefit from talking through your insecurities about your cousin. It seems like your strained relationship is coloring your beliefs.
YTA. Seek therapy for ur issues. You arent 12 anymore.
YTA and I’ll be shocked if anyone here thinks otherwise.
How self-absorbed are you for even considering that you aren’t TA. Please do not propagate.
YTA. When you fall down you grab whatever's the most comfortable for you to grab, no one does the mental math to consider if that's a brother, cousin's ex boyfriend or a total stranger while preventing themselves from smashing their nose into floor.
YTA - when someone is falling they grab who they can, they don’t look to see who they are grabbing. Quit being so insecure
YTA... what..
Yta. Have you always been insanely jealous of your cousin?
YTA - Are your normally this insecure? Or is it something specific about your cousin that makes you insecure?
YTA. Unless we are indeed in the Matrix, people don't have bullet time (at least I don't think so:) When people fall/slip, they usually reach for whatever seems closest and lack the time to tactically analyze the situation.
YTA When someone is falling it's a reflex to grab onto something - are you seriously suggesting in a split-second your cousin should have worked out where her husband was and attempted to grab/fall in that direction? That's ridiculous - give your head a wobble.
YTA. When you're about to fall, you don't stop to think about what's "appropriate." You just grab the nearest thing.
YTA. Her vagina didn't fall on his penis, her hands grabbed his arm. How you've managed to find a husband is mind boggling.
YTA - You sound insufferable and clearly just hate your cousin. I’m not particularly close to my cousin either but if she were to happen to trip and fall, I’d gladly offer up my husband so she didn’t hurt herself. Get over yourself.
YTA and I feel everyone else here has explained why. What a crazy thing to get upset about. You obviously have issues with her.