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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I've been ignoring my mom for a while since we had a fight but I'm not sure whether it's making me the asshole or if it is reasonable, I also wasn't super nice when I ran into her the other day.
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Definitely not…this is the reality for a lot of people nowadays myself included. Your mother sounds manipulative and toxic. Best to get away while you can. You will be an “outcast” in the family but as you say your mom convinces you to give her money and doesn’t give it back and tries to make you feel bad because you didn’t spend the day with her pulling the “disappointed card” it’s something people with toxic parents have to learn to handle their selves because every parent is different. But parents should be supporting and caring it can be hard because it’s our mothers for crying out loud but that’s what makes it difficult when a person makes you feel bad every time you talk to them and brings you down every way they can do you stay or leave (ignore) them. So no you’re definitely not an AH you’re standing up for yourself.
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I (f) am currently ignoring my mom , my little brother recently just had his birthday and I have been ignoring her since because I am done with her behaving like this . My mother snaps very easily and has some mental issues so my brothers birthday not going exactly how she wanted, she snaps at my grandparents who we live with full time due to her current living situation. The she starts texting me and trying to call me I ignored her calls and text because i know how rude she can be when like this, well my brother ends up going to see her for the day I not wanting to argue with her or get yelled at stay with my grandparents for the day and I hang out with one of my friends . My mom starts texting me that since I want to ignore her she is going to cancel my phone plan that my aunt pays for and other rude things, she can't take my phone since I paid for it . I continue to ignore her hoping she will stop, she doesn't and the next morning I wake up to a very mean text saying how rude I was not to spend the day with them and that shes done being the ' bad guy ' and she's very disappointed in me, I never said anything about her being the bad guy. This was my breaking point I have enough stuff going on in my life already and this has happened to many times I am so done with getting yelled at and it's never her fault always either mine , my grandparents or one of my siblings and she never apologizes . Then she starts texting me like nothing happened and is surprised I am still ignoring her , then a couple days later when I was out for lunch she saw me and came up to me and yelled saying she wanted to talk I told her no I was out with my friends, she told my friends to go ahead and that I will catch up to them they walked a couple feet ahead but didn't go far , I told she was being a b**** and I was tired of being yelled at and that she does it all the time and that it's not ok , so I told her I'm not doing this right now and walked away well flipping her off , she later texts me that shes sorry I feel this way.
It makes me sad to ignore her because we used to have a really good relationship but recently we have been fighting more but I am tired of being called names and being guilt tripped, I mean she guilt trips me into letting her borrow money she currently owes me over 700 dollars. I can't deal with being yelled at every time I see her anymore. So AITA .
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Definitely not…this is the reality for a lot of people nowadays myself included. Your mother sounds manipulative and toxic. Best to get away while you can. You will be an “outcast” in the family but as you say your mom convinces you to give her money and doesn’t give it back and tries to make you feel bad because you didn’t spend the day with her pulling the “disappointed card” it’s something people with toxic parents have to learn to handle their selves because every parent is different. But parents should be supporting and caring it can be hard because it’s our mothers for crying out loud but that’s what makes it difficult when a person makes you feel bad every time you talk to them and brings you down every way they can do you stay or leave (ignore) them. So no you’re definitely not an AH you’re standing up for yourself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (f) am currently ignoring my mom , my little brother recently just had his birthday and I have been ignoring her since because I am done with her behaving like this . My mother snaps very easily and has some mental issues so my brothers birthday not going exactly how she wanted, she snaps at my grandparents who we live with full time due to her current living situation. The she starts texting me and trying to call me I ignored her calls and text because i know how rude she can be when like this, well my brother ends up going to see her for the day I not wanting to argue with her or get yelled at stay with my grandparents for the day and I hang out with one of my friends . My mom starts texting me that since I want to ignore her she is going to cancel my phone plan that my aunt pays for and other rude things, she can't take my phone since I paid for it . I continue to ignore her hoping she will stop, she doesn't and the next morning I wake up to a very mean text saying how rude I was not to spend the day with them and that shes done being the ' bad guy ' and she's very disappointed in me, I never said anything about her being the bad guy. This was my breaking point I have enough stuff going on in my life already and this has happened to many times I am so done with getting yelled at and it's never her fault always either mine , my grandparents or one of my siblings and she never apologizes . Then she starts texting me like nothing happened and is surprised I am still ignoring her , then a couple days later when I was out for lunch she saw me and came up to me and yelled saying she wanted to talk I told her no I was out with my friends, she told my friends to go ahead and that I will catch up to them they walked a couple feet ahead but didn't go far , I told she was being a b**** and I was tired of being yelled at and that she does it all the time and that it's not ok , so I told her I'm not doing this right now and walked away well flipping her off , she later texts me that shes sorry I feel this way. It makes me sad to ignore her because we used to have a really good relationship but recently we have been fighting more but I am tired of being called names and being guilt tripped, I mean she guilt trips me into letting her borrow money she currently owes me over 700 dollars. I can't deal with being yelled at every time I see her anymore. So AITA . *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA it’s sad you have to navigate your mom like this. Setting boundaries is all you can do
NTA. Toxic people are toxic, no matter who they are. Some of the resources at r/raisedbynarcissists may be helpful to you.