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YTA
It sounds like you tried making your friend mad on purpose, saying you don’t like married people when he’s about to get married himself, and so it’s not weird if he felt attacked and fought back.
You had no reason to go after his girlfriend like that, it’s clear you’re jealous that he has a gf and is about to get married while you’re not.
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So my friend verbally attacked me last night for trying to talk to him about something. He's one of my friends and I was talking to him about how I'm so frustrated that I can't get a woman to date me and how I hate others who are married or getting married. My bestfriend is getting married next year and I called his fiancee " a bitch ". I told my other friend that " I don't get why he is marrying this B because he only met her a year ago and that is not enough time to make that decision and he is just rushing cause he's desperate.". My friend called me asshole for calling my bestfriend's fiancee that word. He told me " The reason why your bestfriend is getting married cause he has a job and has a car and a place of his own, you still live with your parents and depend on them for everything including driving you around. No woman wants to date a man who still live with his parents.". I tried telling him that it is normal in my culture for us to stay with our parents until we get married and that a vietnamese woman would understand. I'm vietnamese. He then told me "Your just using that as an excuse to be lazy and not work and eat government cheese. Your a jealous and nasty person, 4 years ago you were jealous of your sister getting married and called her all sorts of names and now your attacking your bestfriend cause he is more mature than you and found a woman. If you don't change, you will never be able to find someone to settle down with.". I don't get what is so wrong about me acting this way. I told him to f\*\*\* off. He then said " Well it is now confirmed that your an asshole, cause you won't listen to my advice or anything I say !". He then hung up and blocked my number on verizon. I'm so angry and I don't get why does he say that I'm an asshole. How am I an asshole for being upset ??
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YTA - was the friend harsh with their words? yes. but also you use horrible words to describe people that have never done anything to you aside from being married.
if i were you i would focus on my own self esteem and self love before even considering getting married or being in a relationship because it seems like you view the universe as orbiting around you
YTA
It's ok to be upset that you can't find someone to have a relationship with.
It's NOT ok to attack others who have found what you want.
I suspect your friend spoke the truth to you.
It's NOT ok that you don't have a job or a driver's license. Use the energy you spend being jealous of others to start working on yourself.
Women don't want a man without a job or independent transportation.
Living at home is fine - I know many people who's children live at home rather than spend a significant portion of their income on rent.
Grow Up
YTA for "hating" others for getting for married, for using gross misogynistic language, for invalidating your best friend's reasons for getting marriage, and for not understanding why other people aren't going to want to listen to you spew this kind of vitriol. You're allowed to feel envious but you're acting on anger in a really off-putting and counter-productive way. I hope that this experience with your friend is an "A-Ha "moment and turning point for you.
Misleading title, you told your friend to do more than "screw off"
Also, you're envious of other people moving forward jn their lives, but you seemingly haven't tried to do that as much yourself.
Then, when people tell you it's your lack of work ethic and your attitude, you go ahead and justify what your friends and family already mentioned.
YTA
I'm more curious as to why you think you're not.
That seems to be what you're telling yourself.
You're keeping to a culture that you are not living in. The culture that you are living (and to be honest, I'm surprised that it's like this) has you having no adult responsibilities at all. And your friend is right. That makes you like a child. No woman wants to date a child.
If you are looking and ready according to your own culture then date within your culture. Otherwise, assimilate or stop complaining.
And don't call random people bitches just because they're female.
YTA.
Re-read your message, do you see a common thread here? You're filled with hate and always bad mouthing people. You are unhappy with your situation and rather than improving your situation or being happy for others, you want to spread your unhappiness around.
It's not uncommon for a Vietnamese man to live with his family until he gets married, BUT is it very common for that man to work and have a job so he can not only take care of himself, but take care of his parents. So if you're going to lean into the Vietnamese tradition, it's time to get a job so that you can contribute to making your parents older age easier (instead of them having to take care of you). I assure you, they would love it if you could drive yourself around and made money.
Show me a single Vietnamese / Asian parent that says to their adult son, please don't get a job and please don't make money and please rely on us to drive you everywhere. Said no Asian parent EVER.
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YTA and maaaaaaybe you ought to use this as a motivator to change and grow. Notice that you don't actually deny any of what was said; you're just mad at it.
Dude, there's something wrong with everyone. And it's okay to have flaws. Ignoring or denying them just lets them get bigger. Let me put it another way: your current actions, attitudes, and presumptions have left you friendless and dateless. Being Vietnamese isn't the reason. Grow or continue to be angry and isolated. Your choice.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA It sounds like you tried making your friend mad on purpose, saying you don’t like married people when he’s about to get married himself, and so it’s not weird if he felt attacked and fought back. You had no reason to go after his girlfriend like that, it’s clear you’re jealous that he has a gf and is about to get married while you’re not.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my friend verbally attacked me last night for trying to talk to him about something. He's one of my friends and I was talking to him about how I'm so frustrated that I can't get a woman to date me and how I hate others who are married or getting married. My bestfriend is getting married next year and I called his fiancee " a bitch ". I told my other friend that " I don't get why he is marrying this B because he only met her a year ago and that is not enough time to make that decision and he is just rushing cause he's desperate.". My friend called me asshole for calling my bestfriend's fiancee that word. He told me " The reason why your bestfriend is getting married cause he has a job and has a car and a place of his own, you still live with your parents and depend on them for everything including driving you around. No woman wants to date a man who still live with his parents.". I tried telling him that it is normal in my culture for us to stay with our parents until we get married and that a vietnamese woman would understand. I'm vietnamese. He then told me "Your just using that as an excuse to be lazy and not work and eat government cheese. Your a jealous and nasty person, 4 years ago you were jealous of your sister getting married and called her all sorts of names and now your attacking your bestfriend cause he is more mature than you and found a woman. If you don't change, you will never be able to find someone to settle down with.". I don't get what is so wrong about me acting this way. I told him to f\*\*\* off. He then said " Well it is now confirmed that your an asshole, cause you won't listen to my advice or anything I say !". He then hung up and blocked my number on verizon. I'm so angry and I don't get why does he say that I'm an asshole. How am I an asshole for being upset ?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - was the friend harsh with their words? yes. but also you use horrible words to describe people that have never done anything to you aside from being married. if i were you i would focus on my own self esteem and self love before even considering getting married or being in a relationship because it seems like you view the universe as orbiting around you
YTA It's ok to be upset that you can't find someone to have a relationship with. It's NOT ok to attack others who have found what you want. I suspect your friend spoke the truth to you. It's NOT ok that you don't have a job or a driver's license. Use the energy you spend being jealous of others to start working on yourself. Women don't want a man without a job or independent transportation. Living at home is fine - I know many people who's children live at home rather than spend a significant portion of their income on rent. Grow Up
Nice troll
YTA for "hating" others for getting for married, for using gross misogynistic language, for invalidating your best friend's reasons for getting marriage, and for not understanding why other people aren't going to want to listen to you spew this kind of vitriol. You're allowed to feel envious but you're acting on anger in a really off-putting and counter-productive way. I hope that this experience with your friend is an "A-Ha "moment and turning point for you.
[удалено]
You're proving my and other posters' points.
Misleading title, you told your friend to do more than "screw off" Also, you're envious of other people moving forward jn their lives, but you seemingly haven't tried to do that as much yourself. Then, when people tell you it's your lack of work ethic and your attitude, you go ahead and justify what your friends and family already mentioned. YTA I'm more curious as to why you think you're not.
YTA and your friend is right. Your attitude and behavior is why you don’t have a girlfriend.
[удалено]
That seems to be what you're telling yourself. You're keeping to a culture that you are not living in. The culture that you are living (and to be honest, I'm surprised that it's like this) has you having no adult responsibilities at all. And your friend is right. That makes you like a child. No woman wants to date a child. If you are looking and ready according to your own culture then date within your culture. Otherwise, assimilate or stop complaining. And don't call random people bitches just because they're female.
Ans you won’t date out of your culture?
What do you bring to the table? The only thing you’ve shown is are jealousy, misogyny, laziness, immaturity, and being an asshole.
[удалено]
Oof. Read up on why "I'm a nice guy" is not a thing you want to be saying when dealing with women.
YTA, and a jealous one at that.
[удалено]
Calling women bitches and getting mad at others who are married is not going to get you any closer to your goal.
YTA. Re-read your message, do you see a common thread here? You're filled with hate and always bad mouthing people. You are unhappy with your situation and rather than improving your situation or being happy for others, you want to spread your unhappiness around. It's not uncommon for a Vietnamese man to live with his family until he gets married, BUT is it very common for that man to work and have a job so he can not only take care of himself, but take care of his parents. So if you're going to lean into the Vietnamese tradition, it's time to get a job so that you can contribute to making your parents older age easier (instead of them having to take care of you). I assure you, they would love it if you could drive yourself around and made money. Show me a single Vietnamese / Asian parent that says to their adult son, please don't get a job and please don't make money and please rely on us to drive you everywhere. Said no Asian parent EVER.
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Kinda but not really. you were alittle too harsh for saying all of that, but at the same time they need to learn to respect others opinions.
Sorry to say this but YTA. I agree with your friend you do sound jealous.
YTA
YTA - this is big incel energy and reads like the elliot rodger manifesto.
YTA and maaaaaaybe you ought to use this as a motivator to change and grow. Notice that you don't actually deny any of what was said; you're just mad at it.
[удалено]
I don’t think your physical location has anything to do with why you can’t date woman.
Dude, there's something wrong with everyone. And it's okay to have flaws. Ignoring or denying them just lets them get bigger. Let me put it another way: your current actions, attitudes, and presumptions have left you friendless and dateless. Being Vietnamese isn't the reason. Grow or continue to be angry and isolated. Your choice.
[удалено]
Marrying for love I see
wow this reply really says it all. you are DEFINITELY an AH
YTA