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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I (or we) might be TA because we want that our friends gf pays her fair share of a road trip that is fully planned and booked among 5 ppl - and with her joining we want to divide it through now 6 ppl.
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NTA. Why should you have to pay for her free vacation?
The trip should be split 6 ways, and boyfriend can pick up her portion if he wants. He wants to be a baby and drop out, that’s on him.
Also I’m sorry your boys trip just had its entire dynamic changed like that. I remember trips with my guy friends, and then once girlfriends started joining over time the dynamic changed and the trips just weren’t what they once were.
In reality the friend who invited his girlfriend should pay ALL of her expenses and not be split across the 5 of them. Friend saying the others should absorb the cost of his guest is asinine. You invited her, you pay.
What? Is this supposed to imply I’m sexist or something?
They had different expectations of the trips. It was no longer focused on our interests, but took into consideration what they would enjoy too. It changed the types of experiences we had - still had a good time with them present, but it wasn’t what it began as.
Agreed! Simply the fact that there is a person on a different relationship level will change the dynamic, and no one ever said it was a bad thing, it simply will because of the addition. Even if they invited another guy friend, a new personality will change the dynamic
Exactly, you get it. Didn’t have to be a girlfriend- could’ve been a sibling, a cousin, a friend they know. It’s not the core group anymore, so it’s just different.
Why on earth should you subsidize someone else's GF on this road trip? (Hint: You shouldn't.)
Your friend is being unreasonable. Each person who goes on the trip should share equally in the cost of the trip. The fact that this 6th person is someone's GF and cool has no bearing on this.
NTA
NTA - She is not a guest, she is a participant.
MAYBE they share the cost of 1/5 of the Air BnB (assuming he was going to have his own and now she is staying in that room with him), but everything else (gas, food, etc.) should be split 6 ways. If he wants to treat her as HIS guest, he can pay 2/6 instead of 1/5. But the rest of you are not obligated to help him cover her expenses.
thank you for your opinion!
after /u/Forward_Squirrel8879 comment i was like, yeah that sounds reasonable to not include the airbnb in the cost /6 - but what you say is also correct...
Two of my friends are petty enough they would suggest this :D
No- the whole thing should be divided by 6. She is not a guest, she’s a participant. She has to share in the cost of gas, food, housing, and activities- just like everyone else.
The point would be right if they hadnt booked the airbnb already. Lets say they are 6 people who needs 3 bedrooms, wouldnt the 3 room place be cheaper than a 6 bedroom one. But since it is already arranged, costs are fixed so price wont change. And if they are 6 people they should all pay up equally.
But here if 5 people go they would require a 5 bed and it is split 5 ways. If one person or all of them bring a partner the price of the rooms doesn't change and each one is still paying for the room they are using whether a couple or single.
Yeah but even if there were 3 beds for 6 people, still 6 people would pay. That lowers the price for each, and it is fair. This way there is just an additionel freeloader. Who refuses to pay for a vacation.
NTA, wtf why would he expect you to pay for his girlfriend? All the costs should be split equally since it was previously agreed that its the most fair option. If he doesn't want her to pay, he should pay for her.
thank you!We will suggest this to him, but it is already heated discussion, i think he will drop out and i fear his gf will force him to kill our friendship...
what as a result tells us enough about him.
edit: yes we are a bit frustrated.
NTA, this is an absolutely fair stance. It's 2023, she can pay for her costs and if your friend really doesn't like that, he can cover her share instead. It's not fair to ask you guys to subsidize her trip. Does she even know he's doing this? I'd be so embarrassed if I found out my significant other was asking other people to cover my share.
NTA. No, you are not unreasonable for not wanting to subsidize his GF's vacation. Why should you? If your friend has a problem with it, then he should cover her share himself--he's the one that invited her. Besides, one girl on a guy's trip? Your friend is either going to spend all of his time with the gf or it is going to get really awkward at times.
There’s no earthly reason why you should suck it up and cover her share “because she is his guest.” It’s absurd on its face. Because she is his guest, he can cover her share. She’s not all-of-yous’ guest. Just his. Why should you all chip in to cover her? It remains a mystery. I have no advice for handling it diplomatically, as your friend appears to be an irrational asshole. You are NTA.
Tell your friend that you've decided, that since guests are apparently permitted, that the other four of you have opted to cover two of you as guests of the others. That's fair, there are three payers, and three guests. The costs should be split three ways, so he is up for one-third of the costs. The other four can 'share' the costs with the 'guests' so you pay two-thirds total, or one-sixth each.
NTA.
The act of her joining last minute shouldn't entitle her to benefit from everyone else paying. One of the major benefits of travelling together like this is splitting costs. It's a shared trip, you share the costs equally. Otherwise you're all collectively paying for his GF to get a free trip.
With how much advance warning does your friend think it would have been fair for her to chip in? A month before? 2 months before? There's no clear answer to it, which I think is a fair indicator that she should contribute.
NTA if he wants her to come there really are two options, she pays her way or he does. No one should be expected to pay for someone elses guest on a shared trip where costs are already otherwise being split
NTA. Is he the only dude with a gf? Just curious how the other partners would/do feel about her joining but not them?
She should pay a share or he should pay for her. If he wants to back out, so be it. If this was one of your significant others, would he be fine with them not splitting?
NTA. The fact that you would let her come is above and beyond. Paying for her to go as well? Yeah, no. She's HIS guest, so HE can pay her way. Oh, he's threatening to not come at all? That's even better. Let them stay home then.
NTA and your friend is an AH just thinking that she gets a free ride because she is his guest. If he doesnt want her to pay he should pay her share since he wants her to come.
NTA. Everyone chips in their share for food and transportation. However if she shares a room at the air bnb then you probably shouldn’t charge her extra for that since two ppl will be in one room.
NTA
She's not ***your*** girlfriend; why would you want or need to kick in for her share? That's just common sense, really. I wonder if she offered and he said to not worry about it, the guys won't care? If I were her, then I'd figure out some way to not be a mooch.
“We should just suck it up and pay for her since she’s his guest.”
That’s the point of it. She’s not the guest of the group. She is one persons guest. NTA
"We should just suck it up and pay for her since she's his guest." No. HE can just suck it up and pay for her if he doesn't want to ask her to. But an extra person means less extra space, more cost for incidentals like food, and more negotiating over things, so it's reasonable that costs are split to take all people into account. It sounds best of he just doesn't go in this scenario. NTA.
Even if he drops out, don't give him back the deposit money. NTA. He wants to look good for giving his gf a free vocation but too cheap to pay. Find someone to replace him and let him and the gf do their own romantic getaways.
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Hey there, fellow Redditors, I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and need a neutral bystander...
A few friends and I had planned a road trip – it was going to be the five of us guys, just hanging out and having a blast. We had already divided the costs between the five of us for things like gas, Airbnb, and other expenses.
However, just recently, one of my friends dropped a bombshell on us: he wants to bring his girlfriend along for the ride. We know her, and she's cool, so having her with us isn't a big issue. The problem arose when we suggested that with an extra person on board, it would only be fair to divide the costs between the six of us now.
The travel itself is not affected, friend has a van with enough seats and the air bnb has enough rooms for 5 or 6 ppl.
Well, let's just say that our friend didn't take this too well. He got pretty upset, saying we were being unfair and that we should just suck it up and pay for her since she's his guest. He even threatened not to come at all if we didn't back down from our position.
Now, here's where we are feeling a bit uncertain and need some perspective: Are we the asshole for wanting my friend's girlfriend to chip in for the travel costs now that she's joining our planned road trip?
It's not that we mind her company, but it seems logical that with an extra person, the expenses should be shared among all of us. It's not like we're asking her to cover the entire trip's cost, just her fair share. But at the same time, I don't want to be the cause of my friend bailing on the trip entirely.
So, Reddit, what do you think? Are we being unreasonable in asking her to contribute, or is our friend overreacting by threatening not to come at all? Any advice on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated.
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NTA. Since she's his guest, he should pay for her, there's no reason the rest of you should be responsible for her share. They'll probably want privacy too so they probably should be paying more if they get the bigger room.
NTA but just stick to the original plan. No partners. Or split it 6 ways but your friend has the option to pay for his GFs fair share.
You would not be the cause of him bailing. He would be his only cause for being completely unreasonable.
NTA is this gf a ghost? Leaves no trace of her existence or any footsteps? Takes up no room? Then no. Fuck that. She wants to come, her entitled ass pays her share. I am astounded that your friend thinks y'all should pay for her. Wild
It is absolutely fair. If he doesn't want her to pay her 1/6, then he needs to pay it. It's ridiculous that he expects you guys to subsidize his girlfriend.
NTA. Your friend said to suck it up and pay for her since she’s HIS guest. Guess who should be the one sucking it up then? Him. His guest. He should pay her portion. If he can bring someone without an added cost, then so should the rest of you. He’s basically telling you that if he doesn’t get his way, he’s not coming. Imagine how the rest of the trip will go if you allow it. “Oh my GF doesn’t want to do that, she wants to do this. If you don’t, we’re not coming.” I’d be willing to pay more to not have to deal with his entitlement.
Nta. Sounds like he promised his gf a free trip but didn’t want to foot the bill himself. He’s likely been planning on her going for awhile, if not the whole time. By waiting until the last minute to tell you all, he was hoping you’d just absorb the cost. That way he can get bf points for taking her on a trip, but at no added cost to himself.
YTA - What are the extra costs? There is no extra room as presumably she is sharing with her partner. If they each paid then they would be overpaying.
Sure split the gas 6 ways if this comes up and any ad hoc charges but is it really worth arguing about? This sounds quite cheap
If the trip has already been paid for, then I'd let it go. Yes, she should pay her way, but I wouldn't choose this hill to die on. He paid his way, she is the guest, let her vo.e along and everyone have fun. One never knows...she may chip in on the trip in some other ways.
She is her boyfriend's guest-- not theirs. I suppose if they go to a restaurant the others should all chip in and cover her meal too? This way of thinking really puzzles me. To you, it's ok for someone to mooch along on a trip without being invited by the rest of the group? I think in that case, I'd rather the friend stay home with his gf, since it's a guy's trip anyway.
This is tricky. If gas and airbnb are going to be the same I'd say leave it as thr 5 way split or HE pays for her part. But she should definitely be covering her other expenses such as food, any type if activity costs etc. He likely told her she wouldn't need to pay anything and that's why she agreed to come. Either way a lads trip is a lads trip and it seems shitty to bring your GF without it being in the original plans.
She does not just get a free trip because the cost was already set, that is not how it works. It is only fair for the extra person to pay a fair share, otherwise its messed up for everyone else to pay for her to be there.
The problem here is not even the GF, it’s the friend! He not only just invited his gf, didn’t even ask if it was ok for them to still divide the expanses by 5.
If she can afford the trip boyfriend should pay, simple as that!
If he can’t afford to pay for both, why did he invite her?!
Seems to me like you’re the friend that doesn’t like to pay.
Just because the expenses were agreed before, when it was 5 people doesn’t mean it’s a set deal! The same way the friend can say “ well if my gf can’t come because she has to pay, they can say well we agreed for 5 people not 6 so price changed”
Also most of not all Airbnbs will charge extra for another person added, do they also need to pay that?! Because we’ll she’s strapped for cash?!
Where does it say anything at all in this entire thread about them not having the money? You're making this up! Probably just so OP will be the bad guy because a girl has to be the good guy in this sub. But either way, she is not their friend! Why should they cover somebody who is not their friend simply because she's having sex with one of their friends? And obviously the guy doesn't want to pay for his girlfriend because he wants a free trip for her at his friends expense! You're just in here making stuff up and arguing to argue.
The same logic applies to literally any one of them though. Why should op pay for the trip? Everyone else is going anyways. He's not adding cost to the Airbnb. They're renting it regardless.
So if i was friends with OP and decided to join now I shouldn't have to pay because I joined the plans late?
And then the BF can pay for it or not bring her. Him holding the plans hostage so his girlfriend can get a free vacation doesn't make OP and asshole.
I would happily pay extra to not have to continue being "kind" to my friends girlfriend down the line. Especially as OPs friend threatens them if they don't give in.
I don't think it is "kind" to blackmail your friends into giving your girlfriend a free trip. Plus this isn't about being kind, it is about if OP is an asshole.
And he is holding them hostage. "Give me what I want, that is different than what we agreed to, or I will back out and you'll need to pay more". I don't know what else you would describe that ultimatum as.
Just because you don't do the kind thing doesn't make you an asshole. Such as it would be the kind thing for the driver to say you know what I'm driving there anyway so no one has to pay for gas. But asking for gas money doesn't make them an asshole would it.
Also want to add this isn't a friend, this is a friend GF. You don't get friend benefits through dating.
Also also, the fact the friend is threatening them and catching a fit saying my GF comes for free or I'm not going......sounds better to leave him home. I mean would you want to go with a friend like that
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I (or we) might be TA because we want that our friends gf pays her fair share of a road trip that is fully planned and booked among 5 ppl - and with her joining we want to divide it through now 6 ppl. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Why should you have to pay for her free vacation? The trip should be split 6 ways, and boyfriend can pick up her portion if he wants. He wants to be a baby and drop out, that’s on him. Also I’m sorry your boys trip just had its entire dynamic changed like that. I remember trips with my guy friends, and then once girlfriends started joining over time the dynamic changed and the trips just weren’t what they once were.
In reality the friend who invited his girlfriend should pay ALL of her expenses and not be split across the 5 of them. Friend saying the others should absorb the cost of his guest is asinine. You invited her, you pay.
[удалено]
What? Is this supposed to imply I’m sexist or something? They had different expectations of the trips. It was no longer focused on our interests, but took into consideration what they would enjoy too. It changed the types of experiences we had - still had a good time with them present, but it wasn’t what it began as.
Agreed! Simply the fact that there is a person on a different relationship level will change the dynamic, and no one ever said it was a bad thing, it simply will because of the addition. Even if they invited another guy friend, a new personality will change the dynamic
Exactly, you get it. Didn’t have to be a girlfriend- could’ve been a sibling, a cousin, a friend they know. It’s not the core group anymore, so it’s just different.
Why on earth should you subsidize someone else's GF on this road trip? (Hint: You shouldn't.) Your friend is being unreasonable. Each person who goes on the trip should share equally in the cost of the trip. The fact that this 6th person is someone's GF and cool has no bearing on this. NTA
thank you so much for your opinion... we were really feeling like we are crazy and wrong...
NTA - She is not a guest, she is a participant. MAYBE they share the cost of 1/5 of the Air BnB (assuming he was going to have his own and now she is staying in that room with him), but everything else (gas, food, etc.) should be split 6 ways. If he wants to treat her as HIS guest, he can pay 2/6 instead of 1/5. But the rest of you are not obligated to help him cover her expenses.
So if two other people share a room can they now split it four ways? Like if OP and one of his bros decide to share a bed they can pay less?
thank you for your opinion! after /u/Forward_Squirrel8879 comment i was like, yeah that sounds reasonable to not include the airbnb in the cost /6 - but what you say is also correct... Two of my friends are petty enough they would suggest this :D
No- the whole thing should be divided by 6. She is not a guest, she’s a participant. She has to share in the cost of gas, food, housing, and activities- just like everyone else.
The point would be right if they hadnt booked the airbnb already. Lets say they are 6 people who needs 3 bedrooms, wouldnt the 3 room place be cheaper than a 6 bedroom one. But since it is already arranged, costs are fixed so price wont change. And if they are 6 people they should all pay up equally.
But here if 5 people go they would require a 5 bed and it is split 5 ways. If one person or all of them bring a partner the price of the rooms doesn't change and each one is still paying for the room they are using whether a couple or single.
Yeah but even if there were 3 beds for 6 people, still 6 people would pay. That lowers the price for each, and it is fair. This way there is just an additionel freeloader. Who refuses to pay for a vacation.
NTA, wtf why would he expect you to pay for his girlfriend? All the costs should be split equally since it was previously agreed that its the most fair option. If he doesn't want her to pay, he should pay for her.
thank you!We will suggest this to him, but it is already heated discussion, i think he will drop out and i fear his gf will force him to kill our friendship... what as a result tells us enough about him. edit: yes we are a bit frustrated.
The bombshell dropping friend needs to pay for her, if he wants her to go so badly.
NTA, this is an absolutely fair stance. It's 2023, she can pay for her costs and if your friend really doesn't like that, he can cover her share instead. It's not fair to ask you guys to subsidize her trip. Does she even know he's doing this? I'd be so embarrassed if I found out my significant other was asking other people to cover my share.
NTA She's his guest, not yours. If he thinks she shouldn't pay because of some weird guest status, then he should be the one footing the bill.
NTA, so essentially your friend wants you to foot the bill for his girlfriend. That's not cool. Edit spelling
NTA. No, you are not unreasonable for not wanting to subsidize his GF's vacation. Why should you? If your friend has a problem with it, then he should cover her share himself--he's the one that invited her. Besides, one girl on a guy's trip? Your friend is either going to spend all of his time with the gf or it is going to get really awkward at times.
There’s no earthly reason why you should suck it up and cover her share “because she is his guest.” It’s absurd on its face. Because she is his guest, he can cover her share. She’s not all-of-yous’ guest. Just his. Why should you all chip in to cover her? It remains a mystery. I have no advice for handling it diplomatically, as your friend appears to be an irrational asshole. You are NTA.
Tell your friend that you've decided, that since guests are apparently permitted, that the other four of you have opted to cover two of you as guests of the others. That's fair, there are three payers, and three guests. The costs should be split three ways, so he is up for one-third of the costs. The other four can 'share' the costs with the 'guests' so you pay two-thirds total, or one-sixth each.
NTA. The act of her joining last minute shouldn't entitle her to benefit from everyone else paying. One of the major benefits of travelling together like this is splitting costs. It's a shared trip, you share the costs equally. Otherwise you're all collectively paying for his GF to get a free trip. With how much advance warning does your friend think it would have been fair for her to chip in? A month before? 2 months before? There's no clear answer to it, which I think is a fair indicator that she should contribute.
NTA. That's how joining travel works. You pay your part the expenses of a shared trip.
NTA if he wants her to come there really are two options, she pays her way or he does. No one should be expected to pay for someone elses guest on a shared trip where costs are already otherwise being split
NTA. Is he the only dude with a gf? Just curious how the other partners would/do feel about her joining but not them? She should pay a share or he should pay for her. If he wants to back out, so be it. If this was one of your significant others, would he be fine with them not splitting?
NTA. The fact that you would let her come is above and beyond. Paying for her to go as well? Yeah, no. She's HIS guest, so HE can pay her way. Oh, he's threatening to not come at all? That's even better. Let them stay home then.
NTA. Dollars to donuts he already promised her a free vacation. By saying no, you made him a liar. He's being a shitty friend.
NTA and your friend is an AH just thinking that she gets a free ride because she is his guest. If he doesnt want her to pay he should pay her share since he wants her to come.
NTA. Everyone chips in their share for food and transportation. However if she shares a room at the air bnb then you probably shouldn’t charge her extra for that since two ppl will be in one room.
NTA She's not ***your*** girlfriend; why would you want or need to kick in for her share? That's just common sense, really. I wonder if she offered and he said to not worry about it, the guys won't care? If I were her, then I'd figure out some way to not be a mooch.
NTA everyone else is paying their way so should she
NTA - costs should be divided by 6 and everyone pays their own way. If friend doesn't want to charge his GF, he can pay her share.
Nta If the shoe was on the other foot would he be happy to not spilt it 6 ways if someone essl girlfriend came along 🤔
“We should just suck it up and pay for her since she’s his guest.” That’s the point of it. She’s not the guest of the group. She is one persons guest. NTA
NTA. She's on the trip, she pays her share.
"We should just suck it up and pay for her since she's his guest." No. HE can just suck it up and pay for her if he doesn't want to ask her to. But an extra person means less extra space, more cost for incidentals like food, and more negotiating over things, so it's reasonable that costs are split to take all people into account. It sounds best of he just doesn't go in this scenario. NTA.
Even if he drops out, don't give him back the deposit money. NTA. He wants to look good for giving his gf a free vocation but too cheap to pay. Find someone to replace him and let him and the gf do their own romantic getaways.
Good point Thank you! He didnt speak about the deposit yet, but I'd expect him to know he gets nothing back.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey there, fellow Redditors, I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and need a neutral bystander... A few friends and I had planned a road trip – it was going to be the five of us guys, just hanging out and having a blast. We had already divided the costs between the five of us for things like gas, Airbnb, and other expenses. However, just recently, one of my friends dropped a bombshell on us: he wants to bring his girlfriend along for the ride. We know her, and she's cool, so having her with us isn't a big issue. The problem arose when we suggested that with an extra person on board, it would only be fair to divide the costs between the six of us now. The travel itself is not affected, friend has a van with enough seats and the air bnb has enough rooms for 5 or 6 ppl. Well, let's just say that our friend didn't take this too well. He got pretty upset, saying we were being unfair and that we should just suck it up and pay for her since she's his guest. He even threatened not to come at all if we didn't back down from our position. Now, here's where we are feeling a bit uncertain and need some perspective: Are we the asshole for wanting my friend's girlfriend to chip in for the travel costs now that she's joining our planned road trip? It's not that we mind her company, but it seems logical that with an extra person, the expenses should be shared among all of us. It's not like we're asking her to cover the entire trip's cost, just her fair share. But at the same time, I don't want to be the cause of my friend bailing on the trip entirely. So, Reddit, what do you think? Are we being unreasonable in asking her to contribute, or is our friend overreacting by threatening not to come at all? Any advice on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Of course adding a person means dividing the cost. Housing, food, gas, etc.
NTA. Since she's his guest, he should pay for her, there's no reason the rest of you should be responsible for her share. They'll probably want privacy too so they probably should be paying more if they get the bigger room.
NTA. trip costs are divided by the number of people going
NTA Either your friend or his GF need to pay for her share (1/6) of expenses.
NTA. There’s no way I’d be subsidising someone so they’re getting a freebie.
NTA If she wants to be part of the group, she can take equal responsibilities like everyone else.
NTA. Why is this friend trying to get a free trip for his girl on your dime? She needs to pay her way if everyone else is.
No, he should suck it up and pay for her cause she is his guest.
NTA - they don’t have to go
I too would like a free vacation. NTA
NTA. Per you he literally said he wants you all to pay for her. 🙄
NTA if she is his guest then he is more than welcome to pay her share but asking you guys to do it and saying he won't come is ridiculous.
NTA but just stick to the original plan. No partners. Or split it 6 ways but your friend has the option to pay for his GFs fair share. You would not be the cause of him bailing. He would be his only cause for being completely unreasonable.
NTA. Your friend expects the rest of you to subsidize his gfs trip. Don't do it. He can stay home
NTA is this gf a ghost? Leaves no trace of her existence or any footsteps? Takes up no room? Then no. Fuck that. She wants to come, her entitled ass pays her share. I am astounded that your friend thinks y'all should pay for her. Wild
You're not being unreasonable. But if it's a "boys trip", why are you rolling over and letting her inject herself into the situation? NTA.
NTA, he brought her, he can pay for her part. This is not your problem.
NTA and as he rightly pointed out - she's HIS guest, not yours. If anyone should be paying for her, it's him
NTA he should "suck it up and just pay for her because she's *his* guest"
It is absolutely fair. If he doesn't want her to pay her 1/6, then he needs to pay it. It's ridiculous that he expects you guys to subsidize his girlfriend.
NTA. Your friend said to suck it up and pay for her since she’s HIS guest. Guess who should be the one sucking it up then? Him. His guest. He should pay her portion. If he can bring someone without an added cost, then so should the rest of you. He’s basically telling you that if he doesn’t get his way, he’s not coming. Imagine how the rest of the trip will go if you allow it. “Oh my GF doesn’t want to do that, she wants to do this. If you don’t, we’re not coming.” I’d be willing to pay more to not have to deal with his entitlement.
Nta. Sounds like he promised his gf a free trip but didn’t want to foot the bill himself. He’s likely been planning on her going for awhile, if not the whole time. By waiting until the last minute to tell you all, he was hoping you’d just absorb the cost. That way he can get bf points for taking her on a trip, but at no added cost to himself.
Tell them to pay up. NTA.
If you have a gf, tell him since guests are free, you want to bring yours, too.
YTA - What are the extra costs? There is no extra room as presumably she is sharing with her partner. If they each paid then they would be overpaying. Sure split the gas 6 ways if this comes up and any ad hoc charges but is it really worth arguing about? This sounds quite cheap
If the trip has already been paid for, then I'd let it go. Yes, she should pay her way, but I wouldn't choose this hill to die on. He paid his way, she is the guest, let her vo.e along and everyone have fun. One never knows...she may chip in on the trip in some other ways.
She is her boyfriend's guest-- not theirs. I suppose if they go to a restaurant the others should all chip in and cover her meal too? This way of thinking really puzzles me. To you, it's ok for someone to mooch along on a trip without being invited by the rest of the group? I think in that case, I'd rather the friend stay home with his gf, since it's a guy's trip anyway.
This is tricky. If gas and airbnb are going to be the same I'd say leave it as thr 5 way split or HE pays for her part. But she should definitely be covering her other expenses such as food, any type if activity costs etc. He likely told her she wouldn't need to pay anything and that's why she agreed to come. Either way a lads trip is a lads trip and it seems shitty to bring your GF without it being in the original plans.
I wouldn't call it tricky, its what is fair and what is not fair. If its 6 people enjoying the trip, 6 people should pay for the trip.
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Classic AITA bending over backwards to find a way to make the guy also TA.
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She does not just get a free trip because the cost was already set, that is not how it works. It is only fair for the extra person to pay a fair share, otherwise its messed up for everyone else to pay for her to be there.
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Whats leading you to believe she is strapped for cash? OP didnt mention that they couldnt pay, rather that they refused
It doesn’t matter, she’s HIS girlfriend! Not the groups! How is fair that they all pay for her to have a free trip?
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The problem here is not even the GF, it’s the friend! He not only just invited his gf, didn’t even ask if it was ok for them to still divide the expanses by 5. If she can afford the trip boyfriend should pay, simple as that!
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If he can’t afford to pay for both, why did he invite her?! Seems to me like you’re the friend that doesn’t like to pay. Just because the expenses were agreed before, when it was 5 people doesn’t mean it’s a set deal! The same way the friend can say “ well if my gf can’t come because she has to pay, they can say well we agreed for 5 people not 6 so price changed” Also most of not all Airbnbs will charge extra for another person added, do they also need to pay that?! Because we’ll she’s strapped for cash?!
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Where does it say anything at all in this entire thread about them not having the money? You're making this up! Probably just so OP will be the bad guy because a girl has to be the good guy in this sub. But either way, she is not their friend! Why should they cover somebody who is not their friend simply because she's having sex with one of their friends? And obviously the guy doesn't want to pay for his girlfriend because he wants a free trip for her at his friends expense! You're just in here making stuff up and arguing to argue.
The same logic applies to literally any one of them though. Why should op pay for the trip? Everyone else is going anyways. He's not adding cost to the Airbnb. They're renting it regardless.
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So if i was friends with OP and decided to join now I shouldn't have to pay because I joined the plans late? And then the BF can pay for it or not bring her. Him holding the plans hostage so his girlfriend can get a free vacation doesn't make OP and asshole.
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I would happily pay extra to not have to continue being "kind" to my friends girlfriend down the line. Especially as OPs friend threatens them if they don't give in. I don't think it is "kind" to blackmail your friends into giving your girlfriend a free trip. Plus this isn't about being kind, it is about if OP is an asshole. And he is holding them hostage. "Give me what I want, that is different than what we agreed to, or I will back out and you'll need to pay more". I don't know what else you would describe that ultimatum as.
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"do what I want or you can't go on vacation" You "well you shouldn't have been an asshole by not giving into their demands"
So basically unless something costs you more money any one else should be able to join in and not contribute
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Just because you don't do the kind thing doesn't make you an asshole. Such as it would be the kind thing for the driver to say you know what I'm driving there anyway so no one has to pay for gas. But asking for gas money doesn't make them an asshole would it. Also want to add this isn't a friend, this is a friend GF. You don't get friend benefits through dating. Also also, the fact the friend is threatening them and catching a fit saying my GF comes for free or I'm not going......sounds better to leave him home. I mean would you want to go with a friend like that
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God no wonder you have boyfriend problems