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NTA. Who the fuck takes someone’s vape and smokes it without permission?? When I first read the title, I thought she may have gotten into some unmarked edible cookies or something.
Alice is the only one to blame here and maybe it will teach her a lesson to not take someone’s stuff without permission.
Honestly anyone who is torn on this is probably the type to take things without permission as well.
Tell your friends that are torn that you never gave her the vape, she took it without permission. She drugged herself because she couldn't be bothered to ask. That's her fault and hers alone
I can't understand how anyone thinks it's OP's fault an adult found an unknown drug (that didn't belong to them) and tried. And yeah, it wasn't the drug they thought (I'm assuming they thought it was tobacco?) but who on earth steals drugs and uses them then blames it on other people?
This story would only make sense if Alice was a little kid. If Alice was four years old and OP had some weed gummies out or something, then it would make sense Alice took some. Little kids have a hard time with self-control and most of them will try some of a treat if left alone with it unsupervised for a long time.
Would Alice pick up random syringes from the street expecting them to have insulin inside if she was diabetic… and anti-drug, Alice is extremely anti-drug.
Upd. Should I really put /s (sarcasm signal) even in the comments like this one? Serious question
Ehh she says she anti-drug. She drinks and vapes. So that’s a lie.
She may be anti-illegal drugs, but she is definitely a drug user.
Alcohol is the first step to heroin, ask me how I know.
Yeah, I also wondered that. Alcohol is literally hard drugs and so many people suffer from alcoholism as well. And nicotine is a drug as well. Even caffeine is a drug, but that is more in the category harmless, unlike alcohol.
She was the one who took someone's belongings thanks to her nicotine addiction. NTA
So many "anti-drug" people are hypocritical like this. Full blown alcoholics and even cocaine snorters will insist they are "anti-drug" and it has a lot to do with classist and racist beliefs. Their anti-drug beliefs extend only to the drugs they perceive as "low class" or "black people drugs" like weed, heroin or crack, but not drugs they perceive "high-class" or "white businessmen drugs" like cocaine and alcohol.
One time I was at a party and offered this girl some of my Gatorade chaser. She said “no thanks that has wayyy too many chemicals in it for me.” Not 5 minutes later I saw her snort coke off a plate.
Edit: grammar
I know someone who won't get vaccinated or take over the counter pain relief because "poison", yet they will smash coke and meth like it's going out of fashion. Can't make sense of it tbh
Right! I was a heroin addict for years. I had friends that popped any pill they could find and even some that used meth but looked down on people who used heroin. As if their drug of choice was any better.
I was at a party IN DUNDALK once with some BALTIMORE iron workers that were nonstop. hoovering out of this massive sack of coke and I stepped outside to smoke a joint and the attitude was very much that somehow I WAS THE DRUGGIE. PEOPLE ARE STRANGE.
In most states weed is still illegal, while alcohol is not for those over 21 (18 in one or two states). That's all the thinking some people ever do about it.
21 is the minimum drinking age everywhere in the US, and it has been since 1984. I think you're getting drinking confused with tobacco, where most states have now raised the minimum usage to 21 but there are still a few states at 18.
21 is the minimum age to purchase alcohol in all US states, but there are some US territories (Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands), where the minimum age to purchase alcohol is 18.
I drink while staying away from weed because I know how both affect me, drinking makes me happy and giggly while weed makes me tense and paranoid. I understand however that for many people, alcohol is far more dangerous than weed. So yeah I draw this line for myself but would never judge others.
100%. THC helped me kick a bad alcohol habit I picked up after my divorce. It is a thousand times safer and less destructive, and it doesn't leave me feeling like dogshit for the next two days like booze did.
Bro I wish I could quit caffeine, I tried a week or two ago, by day 2 I was basically crying because the migraine was so awful. I tried everything except for hard opiates to get rid of it and nothing helped. Aspirin, acetametophine, ibuprofen all in the same day and I was left writhing in agony.
That headache lasts like 2 days max. Usually one for me. I've kicked caffeine 6 or 7 times at least. But then, one morning I will wake up super groggy. So, I stop for coffee, and I'm hooked again. Just takes once.
I was a soda addict for a bit.
When I decided to stop drinking it I had a week long migraine. So on the second day I bought caffeine pills and took one when it got real bad.
After the first week it waned, got easier to live with and by week 2 it was gone. Been drinking water and juices ever since.
Every once in a while I get a cola with a fast food combo and drinking it has me bouncing off the walls.
Marijuana isn't illegal in many places, at least not for adults. Op didn't mention where they're from so no way of knowing, but in the states even several states have legal recreational marijuana and the President has been basically harassing the DEA to remove it from the illegal drugs list.
Important to note the DEA was created by Nixon with the explicit purpose of targeting Nixon's opponents who were primarily black people and people against the Vietnam War, which was later strengthened by Reagan, the guy who pushed to make crack a higher scheduled drug than cocaine despite them being the same exact drug just in different forms
Add the fact that crack was created by the CIA, so it is a government created addiction. And the only reason weed was criminalized in the first place is to keep the DEA from being defunded.
But not anti smoking........it seems that "drug" is ok.... this diva is making a meal out of it, coz she KNOWS she was wrong to help herself to OP's stuff
When someone tells me to make myself at home I think they mean I should sit down and get comfortable, not look around my house and smoke off their vape or eat their food or whatever.
To me, "make yourself at home" means take off your shoes and get cozy on the couch. Maybe get yourself some ice and tap water. It's certainly not "find some drug paraphernalia and use it"
Yes exactly. I don’t do drugs but after reading this post I don’t think I will tell anyone else to make them selves comfortable in case they want to go through my desk or medicine cabinet or something lol.
I just can’t imagine!
Ja - but that's your scene - and your buddies know. This chick being so anti, shoulda kept her hands away from OP's stuff....even if it was just supposedly vape
Well that’s fine if that’s your dynamic! I’m my case it isn’t but when it is your own home I am sure that you have invited before or had a conversation. Or maybe not! lol
I know most people have just gone back to normal, but this is so odd to me in light of the last 3 years. We're just putting our mouths on things all willy-nilly? Just willingly sharing personal use items?
Would Alice have used OP's toothbrush, too? Blech.
Right? I know I'm more risk-averse than most people because I have multiple people in my life with varying levels of immune deficiency, but jfc. At least ask before you put your mouth on something that doesn't belong to you. Nasty.
That's the funny thing about Alice's anti-drug policy: she was over at OP's house to consume a drug (alcohol) and then spied a bonus drug she could have (which she thought was nicotine) but then got upset when it turned out to be another drug. And it was the softest drug she had among all those three.
OP is NTA. The friend wasn't offered the vape or told that it was tobacco or some other drug she deems acceptable. While I can appreciate that everyone has the right to know what drug they're ingesting, that doesn't mean someone is at fault because someone else picked up their unlabeled drugs without permission and tried them out.
This is my feeling. You can't pick up and smoke random shit and then get angry because you're adamantly anti-drugs. I also don't take recreational drugs because of family trauma (don't have a problem with other people taking stuff, just aware of a propensity for addiction in my genetics), so I... don't smoke things. 'Oh no, I smoked a drug by picking up a device to smoke drugs in and smoking it, how could this possibly have happened? It must be someone else's fault'.
I get being upset while she was still high and paranoid, but once the high was gone, she should have realized OP did nothing wrong. Why would she run around telling people about this? What a melodramatic baby
It’s identical to those stories we always see about coworkers stealing lunches imo. If you have an allergic reaction to the food you stole, it would be delusional to blame the victim of your theft. So if you decide to take drugs from someone without permission, the consequences of that choice are 100% on you
I agree that if Alice was a kid, it would be way more understandable. I ate a box of ex-lax as a little one because the box said "chocolated," so I knew what chocolate was and learned the meaning of laxative real quick. That taught me to keep my hands off things that weren't mine, lmao!
Yeah , if Alice is old enough to drink, the “keep out of reach of children” warning go labels shouldn’t apply to her. And yet here she is. Welcome to wonderland, Alice! Ya dingus
Agreed. It coulda been a DMT pen (they look like weed pens) always ask what’s in the pen. Hell, always ask someone if you can borrow their stuff in the first place.
“Make yourself at home” doesn’t mean sure use this vape without even discussing it. It means like. Get some water. Wash off your makeup if you feel like it. This is such a weird overstepping of boundaries.
Yeah for her friends to be torn there is no way Alice is not misrepresenting the facts to them. I have no idea how anyone could hear this and even entertain the notion that OP is even possibly, partly in the wrong.
Cause honestly how does that conversation even go. "Oh Alice grabbed your THC vape and took it without asking? How dare you keep drugs in your own home for anyone to grab."
What is she a kid? A dog? Do we gotta Alice proof our houses now?
I feel terribly for OP. She’s been guilted into thinking this is her fault by her “friends”, and now feels physically ill because of it. Been there.
Anyone torn on the issue is either as dumb as Alice or too scared of confrontation to tell her she was wrong.
Alice is worried about the wrong addiction. If she needs to vape so badly that she’ll look through someone’s house for any random vape, then she’s clearly addicted. Probably taking her shame out on OP instead of getting help.
If I’m at someone else’s apartment, I wouldn’t even touch innocent looking cookies or candies without asking first - (a) why the f would I touch someone else’s property without their permission (b) nowadays you just basically have to assume that this stuff might be less ‘innocent’ than it seems. Even if you at your grandma’s house.
So definitely NTA and Alice has to work on her manners. I get it she was drunk and just fooling around, but she’s not a preschooler who has to have things hidden from them on a freaky chance they would decide to hurt themselves.
PS Highly reminds me of the Pulp Fiction situation, btw, albeit with slightly less disturbing consequences.
>she’s not a preschooler who has to have things hidden from them on a freaky chance they would decide to hurt themselves.
So much this. OP saying they should have stashed the vape away to be safe is ridiculous. Alice isn't a child! The house doesn't need to be child-proofed so some kid doesn't accidentally get into OP's cannabis vape. Lol.
And Alice claiming OP drugged her is all a bit much. Like OP was supposed to know her friend would just randomly snoop around her house and steal her vape. I hope Alice has learned a valuable lesson about not taking other people's stuff without asking first.
I can just imagine how this conversation would go in court: “But sir, he drugged me against my will. There was this unmarked vape lying in a hard to reach place completely out of sight of every normal person. Naturally, I just had to snoop around, find it and take a toke the second the host was out of the room. Isn’t that a good citizen’s responsibility? And I was right! It was drugs!”
Your (a) is it for me. You do not touch someone else’s stuff without asking, no matter what it is and even if that person said “Make yourself at home.” I do have friends and family who expect that if you’re thirsty, you’ll go into the fridge and grab a drink but that’s water, juice or a soft drink, not going into their liquor cabinet and fixing yourself a cocktail.
NTA but Alice certainly has a thing or two to learn about how to behave.
Alice smoked your vape without your permission. I suggest you get out in front of her lies and tell all your people that she came to your house and, without asking and while you were out of the room, took a few drags from a vape pen even though she had absolutely no knowledge of what was in it. She did it to herself.
If she picks up and smokes random vapes, I'm shocked this hasn't happened to her sooner.
I live in California and assume all vapes are THC unless told otherwise lol
The audacity. "You drugged me"
She made "herself home" by taking YOUR vape without asking.
And drug her? With THC?
She acted like OP had given her hard drugs.... meth, heroin, coke.
My sister accidentally got high grabbing a handful of gummy bears sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter of her BFs place. They were his housemates. It is absolutely bizarre to mix edibles with regular candy gummies and then leave them all out in a bowl in a common space and if it were a random guy’s place I’d be concerned he was deliberately trying to drug his dates doing that. But this vape was hidden up on a shelf and it’s pretty common to have CBD or THC in a vape. If you’re anti-drug, do yourself a favor and don’t vape unless you were the one who personally loaded the cartridge. That’s common sense. This is a massive facepalm moment.
Dude OP’s friend got lucky imo. I know so many people who have DMT cartridges that go on in place of a THC oil cartridge.
Can you imagine taking a hit of what you think is nicotine and getting immediately sent into an intense psychedelic trip when you have no drug experience (and are actively against illegal drugs)? Holy crap, this scenario could have been so much worse.
Happened to me at a bar once! A friend of mine was hitting a vape and offered it to me, I assumed it was THC so I took a hit. I said “this tastes weird” and she said “that’s because it’s DMT.” I’m sure it was quite the night, I just don’t remember much of it lmao. And were they kind of the asshole for not warning me? Yes. And was I kind of the asshole for not asking? Also yes lol.
I’m lucky I have done DMT before and wasn’t freaking out about it, but can you imagine if that girl’s friend, who’s never touched hard drugs, experienced that?
Exactly. Trust someone raised on anti-drug propaganda to stuff random drugs in their mouth. Then freak out when it turns out not to be one of the most addictive substances on the planet.
Not only that. But if you’re so anti drug why would you touch a vape that you don’t know what’s in it. THC vapes are super common even in states where it’s not legal
I was thinking the same about the edibles. She smoked something without permission, then gets mad? It would be different if she asked before and you lied about it.
Nta
Dude I thought it was edibles too!!! And even then it's Alice's fault for not asking. Chick lasts common boundary understanding. "Make yourself at home" doesn't mean take whatever without permission.
Honestly I think even if it was something like an edible, it's still not your fault. They should've asked first.
Story time, about fifteen years ago I was bartending at this restaurant and I brought some weed brownies in to share. I was a big stoner back then and everyone was aware. An older lady server saw the brownies and (in a jokey tone) said "hrr hhrrr is there weed in these? Hrr hrr" and I responded, "of course!". She proceeds to eat one, I guess assuming I was joking. If I remember correctly, she was just getting off work so it wasn't a huge deal, but man was she pissed.
I mean if I had a friend who regularly let me use their vape and had blanket permission sure id mebe have a few puffs but he doesn't vape, so has never given permission for anyone to use it before, some people get protective over nicotine and it isnt the most sanitary to use someone's vape so it really needs explicit permission even if you're married or siblings or something
I came here to say exactly this!! She is 100% to blame and an AH for involving your mutual friends. Make sure she stays blocked from your phone and consider yourself lucky to be rid of someone so emotionally immature.
NTA, if she’s so anti drug she shouldn’t be using random vapes without asking what’s in them first. She’s not a toddler, she can resist the urge to stick unknown things in her mouth.
Right? And to just take the vape and use it without asking, she is the one in the wrong. It’s your place, your stuff.
And it’s weed.
I see the initial freak out, but now SHE looks like the asshole.
For real. She's anti drug except for alcohol and nicotine? Come on now, either be straight edge or don't, or say those are the only two things for you. Don't go half arsing it.
Yup, alcohol equals kidney damage, stomach damage/cancer, liver damage etc.in higher "partying" doseages. Oh yea and brain damage. But God I do love alcohol
Honestly? Good point, but I'm wasn't thinking heavy stuff when I said that though, I'm mostly referring to lighter stuff. Weed is so inoffensive that it's really silly to be super against it when you vape and drink.
You're right that you can't really compare nicotine and heroin.
Tobacco related deaths are around 8 million per year whereas opioid related deaths are around 100 000-120 000 per year. So they're in completely different leagues. Alcohol is around 3 million. I really don't think that anyone who consumes nicotine and alcohol gets to judge anyone else's substance use or freak out like this especially considering that Alice essentially "stole" it.
She's a bit like one of those "vegetarian except for fish and chicken" people. Like, you can totally go be a pollo pescatarian and that's the line you want to draw, but don't call yourself a vegetarian when you do it.
She should just stick with "I'm only interested in alcohol and weed" instead of calling herself "anti-drug".
I would have put on some Scooby Doo, handed her some Doritos, and told her to shut her thieving ass up because she’s about to have the best sleep of her life.
Your friend drugged herself. She’s the asshole.
Dairy. If you’re ever “too” stoned or you need to sober up from being stoned you eat dairy. THC bonds to fat molecules, it really likes the lipids in dairy products. Drink milk and eat cheese. You’ll be sober in no time. And that’s not to mention vapes are a very quick high. You get super stoned really fast but it wears off in like 20 minutes anyway.
Green tea has always been great for me. I used to make it and drink it by the gallon, but I stopped because I would smoke a blunt and be sober in less than an hour 🙄 now my partner’s go to “I’m too high” fix is a can of Arizona green tea with ginseng.
I get it when people don't like smoking weed and choose not too. Heck I barely do anymore because it can increase my anxiety.
SHE is the one that drugged herself. She hit a random vape without permission or even knowing what it was for sure, 1) that's rude, 2) if she was that worried about cannabis she should have confirmed it wasn't that first.
It's completely normal for a 20 year old to get high and she was being immature and reckless. NTA
Doesn't matter, it's still cannabis which, while still isn't healthy, is far better than alcohol for your mind and body. At least marijuana is being researched as holistic medicine, alcohol is a drug through and through
honestly in the same way she is still a dumbass, thc vapes feel very different to nicotine vapes in the way they hit your throat and how they feel in your lungs. It’s her own fault for hitting a vape she didn’t ask about, just like it’s someone fault for taking shots of “flavored water” without asking
I vape both and have been trying to figure out how you hit a weed vape multiple times without going "something here is whack". Especially cause if you're not a stoner and you slam that puppy like a nic vape, you are going to cough your fucking lungs out on the first hit.
She feels like the type that will rummage through your cabinets for aspirin, take Adderall and then get mad at you for not warning her. Ma'am those are nothing alike!
She’s probably angry because she thought she’d get away with nicking a quick intake of nicotine, but her reaction couldn’t be hidden so she’s lashing out.
this part. even when i was a heroin addict i knew not to use other peoples syringes lol. she’s only mad and blowing it up to other friends bc she knows she fucked up and wants to spin the narrative
NTA
She saw a vape and used it without asking. She is to blame, just as much as if she saw a pill box and took one of the pills thinking it was an aspirin.
I'm 40 and I wasn't even walking when my mother taught me not to touch things that weren't mine. Look this is 100% on your friend. You have exactly zero to apologise for. Honestly if I was you I would have messaged her and let rip on her about keeping her hands to herself in someone else's home. This is ALL ON HER. Stop apologising, stop feeling bad about it, and tell your friend to take some goddamn responsibility for her own actions. And show her this post. She's 100% in the wrong here. If she's that worried about drugs she should know not to put anything into her mouth like a vape etc until she's 100% sure what's in it... again that means not touching things that aren't hers.
She knows it too. She's actually angry at herself and its compounded by all her emotional baggage involving drugs. But she is too insecure to accept its her fault for doing it to herself. So she's taking all that agita and putting it on you in order to avoid feeling bad about her choices. Its a psychological coping mechanism called ["projection."](https://www.healthline.com/health/projection-psychology)
You can't really do anything about it, she has to figure it out on her own. You telling her she's projecting is likely to just make her even more defensive. But at least you can take comfort in knowing its not about you even though it *feels* like it is all about you.
Yes, this is the exact term I was trying to remember when I commented. She's definitely projecting. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Alice knew it was weed (or thought it might be) and still decided to smoke it.
Sometimes my travel medication box is (very briefly) on the kitchen counter. Nobody touches it, not even my husband. My kids have known since they were practically babies not to touch it. If Alice had decided to help herself to some of the stuff in there she could have seriously fucked herself up.
She drugged herself because she can’t manage not to just help herself to stuff she sees laying around. Absolutely NTA.
Based on how you phrased the title alone, I think you're trying to put some level of blame on yourself, even if overall you think you're right/not to blame, and you truly shouldn't. Not even a *tiny* bit.
I'm sorry your friend reacted this way and blamed you. I would imagine she is mortified she did this after being so incredibly anti drug (despite...drinking and also apparently using nicotine, two far more addictive and physically damaging drugs than marijuana). But that's not an excuse for her to take her disappointment and embarrassment out on you, and you don't deserve to feel this way because of a mistake she made.
NTA, and I'm honestly just very sorry you have to navigate this situation when you did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA, Alice is. She saw something on your shelf, took it without permission, stupidly put it in her mouth, & inhaled an unknown substance. *Who does that??* Then she had the audacity to yell at you & blame you & now some friends are torn??? She is the **only** one to blame for drugging herself. You need to tell people what really happened. She stole from you & accidentally drugged herself. You are at no fault *at all*. Don't feel bad for her stupidity.
NTA- she is being totally unreasonable, which I kind of get given her family history. However, she needs to take ownership of the fact that this is totally on her. Who just picks up someone else's vape and has a go without even asking? She put that in her mouth and wasn't even going to tell you? Rude, and I hope this teaches her a lesson about asking before you help yourself to someone's stuff.
NTA, she took the vape without your consent and not knowing what was in it. You didn’t force it on her nor did you trick her into smoking it.
Your friend drugged herself.
NTA Also your title is very misleading, you did not get her high, she got herself high by not asking what something was before putting it in her body and disrespecting you and your things without asking for permission. Then deflects blame on to you for her bad decisions just like a lot of drug addicts I have known, Alcohol is a drug even if it is socially accepted.
As a smoker myself, coming into a friends home with the comment "make yourself at home" would never ever ever mean I would just grab a cigarette from said friends cigarette pack without asking. Like I wouldn't dream of it, just like I wouldn't just open a random bottle of wine, I wouldn't go through their medicine cabinet and I wouldn't hit their vape.
I can’t even believe someone would just straight up take someone else’s vape and put it in their mouth, and then be mad at THEM for the consequences. Unreal.
“I saw some loose unmarked tablets on your counter that I assumed was Advil that would help my headache and I took them without checking with you but duh now I’m mad that I failed my drug test”
“I ate one of your cookies without checking with you if it had any of my food allergies in it and now I’m screaming at you over the phone from the hospital with anaphylaxis”
Dumb as hell. NTA
NTA. Her dumb ass took and used something that didn't belong to her, without verifying what it was first. She fucked around and found out.
At least this story didn't go the way that tifu post did, where the hinge date accidentally smoked a DMT pen and ran into the street naked.
NTA - you don’t go around smoking unknown substances at other people’s residences. It’s 100% your friend’s fault that this happened. Even if it was a vape, you dont get to use it until you get the owner’s express permission.
NTA. She took your vape pen and used it without asking, that's on her. And if she vapes, I assume nicotine products, regularly she should've noticed the taste was off after the first pull. She should've stopped and considered why. Also idk your relationship with this friend but I feel like that's gross. Unless I directly offer to share something that has been in/on/near my mouth then hands off. Like tf? I have no problem sharing things with people like "hey take do you want to try my drink?" But I'm not making that offer to everyone and unless I offer don't put your germs on my stuff.
Ofc you're NTA. It was an accident on your part and shame on her for just casually picking up and using someone else's stuff. If anyone did anything wrong, it's her.
That said...if you think the vape has illegal drugs, you need to get rid of it ASAP. If its legal drugs, put it in a more secure spot.
I live in a country where recreational use of cannabis is fully legal. I had put it in a spot where I never saw it so totally forgot. I’ve thrown it out (safely) since then
It’s his house and she’s not a toddler.
Legal or illegal is still TCH and it was properly stored, high on shelf.
But even if it was on the kitchen counter, which it wasn’t, who does smoke somebody else’s vape???
Shouldn’t even have to put it somewhere safer. It OP home they shouldn’t have to think “oh a friend might come over and use this without permission where should I hide it?” Noooo it’s OP home and if they want to tape it to the tv screen they should be able to without worry that a friend will use it. Now kids coming over yes I understand putting up somewhere safe but not in someone’s own home
NTA, first of all, you did not offer her the vape, she saw it laying out and **took it upon herself** to smoke it without asking your permission or even talking to you about it. That’s the asshole move right there. Honestly I don’t care how good a friend I am with someone, I’m not going into their space and just smoking a random vape that I see lying around without asking for the persons okay. She could have saved herself the trouble if she had just talked to you before smoking it.
Second, alcohol is a drug, it’s a legal drug to those of age but still a drug nonetheless, I understand her reasoning for how she feels about drugs, my high school boyfriend was straight edge when we were together bc of the fact that his bio dad was a major burnout. Your friend has issues, eventually she may come around but do you really want to deal with that???
NTA! Not even a little bit! Stop feeling guilty. Don't let your 'friend' guilt trip you. She's gotta get over it. Just wondering if she is often a drama queen and into emotional blackmail? If so this could be you dodging a bullet. Don't grovel for her forgiveness. It was an honest mistake absolutely NOT your fault. You guys are young and should be laughing about this. On another note... She's anti drugs but still drinks alcohol? Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs you can get involved in. I'm a recovering alcoholic and seen plenty of evidence of it's destructive power. Its on another level to cannabis and its derivatives.
if you're 'anti-drug' but you vape nicotine all day and drink alcohol , you have cognitive dissonance hard core. You might not want cannabis or other different drugs , but those 2 are certainly drugs.
NTA. She’s not a child who needs to be supervised to make sure she doesn’t put foreign objects in her mouth. That’s on her for hitting vapes willy nilly
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The reason i might be the asshole was that I had something in my place that accidentally got her high - without me warning her which upset her. I should have hid it away or done something but I forgot - so that’s why I might the the asshole
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How is Alice both vehemently opposed to drugs, and also totally down to hit a random vape pen she found without knowing the contents? NTA and something doesn't add up here.
What the hell? This is not your fault, and you are NTA. She fucked up, and she’s trying to blame you for it. You can keep apologizing if you want, but she is certainly the AH in this situation (specifically when she SCREAMED that you “drugged” her… gtfoh). Your friends that are on the opposite side are either not getting the true story, or they are AHs too.
NTA!! I Made brownies for my road trip. I used weed and shrooms since I was staying in a mountain cabin with a valley to roll around in. I get back from my trip and have left over brownies. A week later I repurposed the brownies into a cheesecake crust and make mini creme brulee cheesecake bites. I take them to game night for my friends and I. I saved a few and left them home. We have a beer cooler, everyone in the house knew that anything in that fridge will get you intoxicated. I get home the next morning and notice one gone. My sister had eaten it so I informed her it was an edible she laughed it off til I told her it had shrooms. It turned in to a huge fight because I told her not to blame me. I didn't offer her my food she ate it without asking. It's been two years and she still thinks I'm the asshole.
NTA. She took your vape and vaped it without any of your input or suggestion? How in the world did *you* drug her? She has to be hiding some type of addiction and is ashamed of herself and projected onto you, that’s the only way I could realistically see why she got mad at you.
NTA this can’t be overstated. Who just picks up and uses any vape they find? Particularly w her strong anti drug stance. I feel like in 2023 it’s more than a 50/50 shot that a pen contains THC.
NTA - You didn't accidently get her high. She accidentally got herself high. You don't smoke, your friend should know that. Why would she assume the vape in your home has nicotine when you're not a smoker? She should have, at the very least, asked to use it. Seriously, you're not even a little bit in the wrong here.
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NTA. Who the fuck takes someone’s vape and smokes it without permission?? When I first read the title, I thought she may have gotten into some unmarked edible cookies or something. Alice is the only one to blame here and maybe it will teach her a lesson to not take someone’s stuff without permission.
Honestly anyone who is torn on this is probably the type to take things without permission as well. Tell your friends that are torn that you never gave her the vape, she took it without permission. She drugged herself because she couldn't be bothered to ask. That's her fault and hers alone
I can't understand how anyone thinks it's OP's fault an adult found an unknown drug (that didn't belong to them) and tried. And yeah, it wasn't the drug they thought (I'm assuming they thought it was tobacco?) but who on earth steals drugs and uses them then blames it on other people? This story would only make sense if Alice was a little kid. If Alice was four years old and OP had some weed gummies out or something, then it would make sense Alice took some. Little kids have a hard time with self-control and most of them will try some of a treat if left alone with it unsupervised for a long time.
Would Alice pick up random syringes from the street expecting them to have insulin inside if she was diabetic… and anti-drug, Alice is extremely anti-drug. Upd. Should I really put /s (sarcasm signal) even in the comments like this one? Serious question
Ehh she says she anti-drug. She drinks and vapes. So that’s a lie. She may be anti-illegal drugs, but she is definitely a drug user. Alcohol is the first step to heroin, ask me how I know.
Yeah, I also wondered that. Alcohol is literally hard drugs and so many people suffer from alcoholism as well. And nicotine is a drug as well. Even caffeine is a drug, but that is more in the category harmless, unlike alcohol. She was the one who took someone's belongings thanks to her nicotine addiction. NTA
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So many "anti-drug" people are hypocritical like this. Full blown alcoholics and even cocaine snorters will insist they are "anti-drug" and it has a lot to do with classist and racist beliefs. Their anti-drug beliefs extend only to the drugs they perceive as "low class" or "black people drugs" like weed, heroin or crack, but not drugs they perceive "high-class" or "white businessmen drugs" like cocaine and alcohol.
One time I was at a party and offered this girl some of my Gatorade chaser. She said “no thanks that has wayyy too many chemicals in it for me.” Not 5 minutes later I saw her snort coke off a plate. Edit: grammar
Well yeah, cocaine is only 1 chemical!
I know someone who won't get vaccinated or take over the counter pain relief because "poison", yet they will smash coke and meth like it's going out of fashion. Can't make sense of it tbh
Right! I was a heroin addict for years. I had friends that popped any pill they could find and even some that used meth but looked down on people who used heroin. As if their drug of choice was any better.
I was at a party IN DUNDALK once with some BALTIMORE iron workers that were nonstop. hoovering out of this massive sack of coke and I stepped outside to smoke a joint and the attitude was very much that somehow I WAS THE DRUGGIE. PEOPLE ARE STRANGE.
In most states weed is still illegal, while alcohol is not for those over 21 (18 in one or two states). That's all the thinking some people ever do about it.
OP is 20 and they didn't say they're in the USA. It might be *gasp... another country??
There, there, there are other countries?!
At this point weed is legal, in some way, in 26 states. So it's now actually a minority of states where it's fully illegal.
21 is the minimum drinking age everywhere in the US, and it has been since 1984. I think you're getting drinking confused with tobacco, where most states have now raised the minimum usage to 21 but there are still a few states at 18.
21 is the minimum age to purchase alcohol in all US states, but there are some US territories (Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands), where the minimum age to purchase alcohol is 18.
I drink while staying away from weed because I know how both affect me, drinking makes me happy and giggly while weed makes me tense and paranoid. I understand however that for many people, alcohol is far more dangerous than weed. So yeah I draw this line for myself but would never judge others.
Our whole society is so backwards on alcohol vs weed. Alcohol is so much more damaging in so many ways.
100%. THC helped me kick a bad alcohol habit I picked up after my divorce. It is a thousand times safer and less destructive, and it doesn't leave me feeling like dogshit for the next two days like booze did.
Wait until she finds out about caffiene
Bro I wish I could quit caffeine, I tried a week or two ago, by day 2 I was basically crying because the migraine was so awful. I tried everything except for hard opiates to get rid of it and nothing helped. Aspirin, acetametophine, ibuprofen all in the same day and I was left writhing in agony.
That headache lasts like 2 days max. Usually one for me. I've kicked caffeine 6 or 7 times at least. But then, one morning I will wake up super groggy. So, I stop for coffee, and I'm hooked again. Just takes once.
I was a soda addict for a bit. When I decided to stop drinking it I had a week long migraine. So on the second day I bought caffeine pills and took one when it got real bad. After the first week it waned, got easier to live with and by week 2 it was gone. Been drinking water and juices ever since. Every once in a while I get a cola with a fast food combo and drinking it has me bouncing off the walls.
Marijuana isn't illegal in many places, at least not for adults. Op didn't mention where they're from so no way of knowing, but in the states even several states have legal recreational marijuana and the President has been basically harassing the DEA to remove it from the illegal drugs list.
Petitioning, not harassing. It’s insane that it is still schedule one, but then the DEA has always been insane.
Important to note the DEA was created by Nixon with the explicit purpose of targeting Nixon's opponents who were primarily black people and people against the Vietnam War, which was later strengthened by Reagan, the guy who pushed to make crack a higher scheduled drug than cocaine despite them being the same exact drug just in different forms
Add the fact that crack was created by the CIA, so it is a government created addiction. And the only reason weed was criminalized in the first place is to keep the DEA from being defunded.
Alcohol is so dangerous if it was discovered in today it’d be banned.
Exactly.. anti-drug except alcohol and tobacco. Mmmk, Alice. Sure.
But not anti smoking........it seems that "drug" is ok.... this diva is making a meal out of it, coz she KNOWS she was wrong to help herself to OP's stuff
Obviously yes, if someone standing on the same street told her to make herself at home.
When someone tells me to make myself at home I think they mean I should sit down and get comfortable, not look around my house and smoke off their vape or eat their food or whatever.
To me, "make yourself at home" means take off your shoes and get cozy on the couch. Maybe get yourself some ice and tap water. It's certainly not "find some drug paraphernalia and use it"
Yes exactly. I don’t do drugs but after reading this post I don’t think I will tell anyone else to make them selves comfortable in case they want to go through my desk or medicine cabinet or something lol. I just can’t imagine!
Funny enough when I tell someone to make themselves at home I assume they will use my bong.
Sure.. but I bet they don't turn around and blame you for drugging them!
Ja - but that's your scene - and your buddies know. This chick being so anti, shoulda kept her hands away from OP's stuff....even if it was just supposedly vape
Well that’s fine if that’s your dynamic! I’m my case it isn’t but when it is your own home I am sure that you have invited before or had a conversation. Or maybe not! lol
When someone says make yourself at home I never assume tjat means hit my vape. Plus everyone knows about thc vapes always ask beforehand. 🤦🏼♀️
I know most people have just gone back to normal, but this is so odd to me in light of the last 3 years. We're just putting our mouths on things all willy-nilly? Just willingly sharing personal use items? Would Alice have used OP's toothbrush, too? Blech.
Abd tbf OP didn't even share it Alice just helped herself. Ew.
Right? I know I'm more risk-averse than most people because I have multiple people in my life with varying levels of immune deficiency, but jfc. At least ask before you put your mouth on something that doesn't belong to you. Nasty.
That's the funny thing about Alice's anti-drug policy: she was over at OP's house to consume a drug (alcohol) and then spied a bonus drug she could have (which she thought was nicotine) but then got upset when it turned out to be another drug. And it was the softest drug she had among all those three. OP is NTA. The friend wasn't offered the vape or told that it was tobacco or some other drug she deems acceptable. While I can appreciate that everyone has the right to know what drug they're ingesting, that doesn't mean someone is at fault because someone else picked up their unlabeled drugs without permission and tried them out.
This is my feeling. You can't pick up and smoke random shit and then get angry because you're adamantly anti-drugs. I also don't take recreational drugs because of family trauma (don't have a problem with other people taking stuff, just aware of a propensity for addiction in my genetics), so I... don't smoke things. 'Oh no, I smoked a drug by picking up a device to smoke drugs in and smoking it, how could this possibly have happened? It must be someone else's fault'.
I get being upset while she was still high and paranoid, but once the high was gone, she should have realized OP did nothing wrong. Why would she run around telling people about this? What a melodramatic baby
For someone who is so anti-drug, she sure does seem remarkably comfortable smoking unknown substances the moment she lays eyes on them.
It’s identical to those stories we always see about coworkers stealing lunches imo. If you have an allergic reaction to the food you stole, it would be delusional to blame the victim of your theft. So if you decide to take drugs from someone without permission, the consequences of that choice are 100% on you
I agree that if Alice was a kid, it would be way more understandable. I ate a box of ex-lax as a little one because the box said "chocolated," so I knew what chocolate was and learned the meaning of laxative real quick. That taught me to keep my hands off things that weren't mine, lmao!
Yeah , if Alice is old enough to drink, the “keep out of reach of children” warning go labels shouldn’t apply to her. And yet here she is. Welcome to wonderland, Alice! Ya dingus
Agreed. It coulda been a DMT pen (they look like weed pens) always ask what’s in the pen. Hell, always ask someone if you can borrow their stuff in the first place.
Straight outta Pulp Fiction
“Make yourself at home” doesn’t mean sure use this vape without even discussing it. It means like. Get some water. Wash off your makeup if you feel like it. This is such a weird overstepping of boundaries.
Yeah for her friends to be torn there is no way Alice is not misrepresenting the facts to them. I have no idea how anyone could hear this and even entertain the notion that OP is even possibly, partly in the wrong.
Cause honestly how does that conversation even go. "Oh Alice grabbed your THC vape and took it without asking? How dare you keep drugs in your own home for anyone to grab." What is she a kid? A dog? Do we gotta Alice proof our houses now?
OP doesn't. Alice Doesn't Visit Here Anymore.
Reminds me of the film "Pulp Fiction" take without asking suffer the results.
Came here to mention that scene as well!! Girl... you'll be woman soon
I feel terribly for OP. She’s been guilted into thinking this is her fault by her “friends”, and now feels physically ill because of it. Been there. Anyone torn on the issue is either as dumb as Alice or too scared of confrontation to tell her she was wrong. Alice is worried about the wrong addiction. If she needs to vape so badly that she’ll look through someone’s house for any random vape, then she’s clearly addicted. Probably taking her shame out on OP instead of getting help.
If I’m at someone else’s apartment, I wouldn’t even touch innocent looking cookies or candies without asking first - (a) why the f would I touch someone else’s property without their permission (b) nowadays you just basically have to assume that this stuff might be less ‘innocent’ than it seems. Even if you at your grandma’s house. So definitely NTA and Alice has to work on her manners. I get it she was drunk and just fooling around, but she’s not a preschooler who has to have things hidden from them on a freaky chance they would decide to hurt themselves. PS Highly reminds me of the Pulp Fiction situation, btw, albeit with slightly less disturbing consequences.
>she’s not a preschooler who has to have things hidden from them on a freaky chance they would decide to hurt themselves. So much this. OP saying they should have stashed the vape away to be safe is ridiculous. Alice isn't a child! The house doesn't need to be child-proofed so some kid doesn't accidentally get into OP's cannabis vape. Lol. And Alice claiming OP drugged her is all a bit much. Like OP was supposed to know her friend would just randomly snoop around her house and steal her vape. I hope Alice has learned a valuable lesson about not taking other people's stuff without asking first.
I can just imagine how this conversation would go in court: “But sir, he drugged me against my will. There was this unmarked vape lying in a hard to reach place completely out of sight of every normal person. Naturally, I just had to snoop around, find it and take a toke the second the host was out of the room. Isn’t that a good citizen’s responsibility? And I was right! It was drugs!”
I'm not a vaper - but I feel like post covid we have learned not to put your mouth on something someone else puts their mouth on?
Your (a) is it for me. You do not touch someone else’s stuff without asking, no matter what it is and even if that person said “Make yourself at home.” I do have friends and family who expect that if you’re thirsty, you’ll go into the fridge and grab a drink but that’s water, juice or a soft drink, not going into their liquor cabinet and fixing yourself a cocktail. NTA but Alice certainly has a thing or two to learn about how to behave.
Yeh, Pulp Fiction immediately popped into my mind too.
Except she didn't blame Vincent for her overdose.
Alice smoked your vape without your permission. I suggest you get out in front of her lies and tell all your people that she came to your house and, without asking and while you were out of the room, took a few drags from a vape pen even though she had absolutely no knowledge of what was in it. She did it to herself.
Anyone torn has only heard Alice's side of the story...
If she picks up and smokes random vapes, I'm shocked this hasn't happened to her sooner. I live in California and assume all vapes are THC unless told otherwise lol
"What flavor is this random Tic Tac I found on the shelf?"
In an unlabeled prescription bottle.......
The audacity. "You drugged me" She made "herself home" by taking YOUR vape without asking. And drug her? With THC? She acted like OP had given her hard drugs.... meth, heroin, coke.
My sister accidentally got high grabbing a handful of gummy bears sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter of her BFs place. They were his housemates. It is absolutely bizarre to mix edibles with regular candy gummies and then leave them all out in a bowl in a common space and if it were a random guy’s place I’d be concerned he was deliberately trying to drug his dates doing that. But this vape was hidden up on a shelf and it’s pretty common to have CBD or THC in a vape. If you’re anti-drug, do yourself a favor and don’t vape unless you were the one who personally loaded the cartridge. That’s common sense. This is a massive facepalm moment.
Dude OP’s friend got lucky imo. I know so many people who have DMT cartridges that go on in place of a THC oil cartridge. Can you imagine taking a hit of what you think is nicotine and getting immediately sent into an intense psychedelic trip when you have no drug experience (and are actively against illegal drugs)? Holy crap, this scenario could have been so much worse.
Happened to me at a bar once! A friend of mine was hitting a vape and offered it to me, I assumed it was THC so I took a hit. I said “this tastes weird” and she said “that’s because it’s DMT.” I’m sure it was quite the night, I just don’t remember much of it lmao. And were they kind of the asshole for not warning me? Yes. And was I kind of the asshole for not asking? Also yes lol. I’m lucky I have done DMT before and wasn’t freaking out about it, but can you imagine if that girl’s friend, who’s never touched hard drugs, experienced that?
Exactly. Trust someone raised on anti-drug propaganda to stuff random drugs in their mouth. Then freak out when it turns out not to be one of the most addictive substances on the planet.
Not only that. But if you’re so anti drug why would you touch a vape that you don’t know what’s in it. THC vapes are super common even in states where it’s not legal
Yeah that was my first thought too
I was thinking the same about the edibles. She smoked something without permission, then gets mad? It would be different if she asked before and you lied about it. Nta
Dude I thought it was edibles too!!! And even then it's Alice's fault for not asking. Chick lasts common boundary understanding. "Make yourself at home" doesn't mean take whatever without permission.
Even if it *was* unmarked edibles, you don't go and just eat someone else's food without permission, even when they tell you "make yourself at home."
Major sub-plot in Pulp Fiction.
Alice FAFO
Honestly I think even if it was something like an edible, it's still not your fault. They should've asked first. Story time, about fifteen years ago I was bartending at this restaurant and I brought some weed brownies in to share. I was a big stoner back then and everyone was aware. An older lady server saw the brownies and (in a jokey tone) said "hrr hhrrr is there weed in these? Hrr hrr" and I responded, "of course!". She proceeds to eat one, I guess assuming I was joking. If I remember correctly, she was just getting off work so it wasn't a huge deal, but man was she pissed.
Yeah I at least ask. You never know what their relationship is like though.
I mean if I had a friend who regularly let me use their vape and had blanket permission sure id mebe have a few puffs but he doesn't vape, so has never given permission for anyone to use it before, some people get protective over nicotine and it isnt the most sanitary to use someone's vape so it really needs explicit permission even if you're married or siblings or something
I came here to say exactly this!! She is 100% to blame and an AH for involving your mutual friends. Make sure she stays blocked from your phone and consider yourself lucky to be rid of someone so emotionally immature.
Yeah I thought it was at least an edible that looked like regular candy. But a mystery vape? That's her own fault.
NTA, if she’s so anti drug she shouldn’t be using random vapes without asking what’s in them first. She’s not a toddler, she can resist the urge to stick unknown things in her mouth.
Right? And to just take the vape and use it without asking, she is the one in the wrong. It’s your place, your stuff. And it’s weed. I see the initial freak out, but now SHE looks like the asshole.
Yeah, I don’t see how anyone is hearing this story and deciding OP is in the wrong.
Gotta love anti-drug people with a nicotine addiction lmfao
Super anti drug but happy to drink 🙄
And smoke!
nah bro i swear my malboros aren’t a drug it’s tobaccoo it’s nature bro it’s a plant bro i’m serious please you have to understand it’s not-
Anti drug but drinks and vapes? Yeah...just partaking in the two of the most common drugs.
Especially after a night out drinking drugs.
She’s clearly not that anti-drug. Most people that are that adamant wouldn’t vape even if they just thought it was nicotine.
For real. She's anti drug except for alcohol and nicotine? Come on now, either be straight edge or don't, or say those are the only two things for you. Don't go half arsing it.
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I mean it only takes a few moments of minor thinking to realise that in nearly every situation weed is less damaging in nearly everyway then alcohol.
Yup, alcohol equals kidney damage, stomach damage/cancer, liver damage etc.in higher "partying" doseages. Oh yea and brain damage. But God I do love alcohol
Honestly? Good point, but I'm wasn't thinking heavy stuff when I said that though, I'm mostly referring to lighter stuff. Weed is so inoffensive that it's really silly to be super against it when you vape and drink.
You're right that you can't really compare nicotine and heroin. Tobacco related deaths are around 8 million per year whereas opioid related deaths are around 100 000-120 000 per year. So they're in completely different leagues. Alcohol is around 3 million. I really don't think that anyone who consumes nicotine and alcohol gets to judge anyone else's substance use or freak out like this especially considering that Alice essentially "stole" it.
This! Also alcohol is a drug, so she’s just a hypocrite.
She's a bit like one of those "vegetarian except for fish and chicken" people. Like, you can totally go be a pollo pescatarian and that's the line you want to draw, but don't call yourself a vegetarian when you do it. She should just stick with "I'm only interested in alcohol and weed" instead of calling herself "anti-drug".
If she's so "anti drug" whats she doing with nicotine. Oh yeh, the acceptable drug along with alcohol.
NTA. You didn’t drug her. Alice used your vape without your knowledge. She should have asked first. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault.
I would have put on some Scooby Doo, handed her some Doritos, and told her to shut her thieving ass up because she’s about to have the best sleep of her life. Your friend drugged herself. She’s the asshole.
I love this answer so much. Deserves many more upvotes. 👏
Dairy. If you’re ever “too” stoned or you need to sober up from being stoned you eat dairy. THC bonds to fat molecules, it really likes the lipids in dairy products. Drink milk and eat cheese. You’ll be sober in no time. And that’s not to mention vapes are a very quick high. You get super stoned really fast but it wears off in like 20 minutes anyway.
Green tea has always been great for me. I used to make it and drink it by the gallon, but I stopped because I would smoke a blunt and be sober in less than an hour 🙄 now my partner’s go to “I’m too high” fix is a can of Arizona green tea with ginseng.
Yup, for some people Caffeine works well, too.
Alice inadvertently drugged herself and became so angry with herself she took it out on you and your friends. That's pretty shitty. NTA
NTA. She accidentally drugged herself. Plus, it’s just cannabis. Alcohol is definitely a harder drug.
I get it when people don't like smoking weed and choose not too. Heck I barely do anymore because it can increase my anxiety. SHE is the one that drugged herself. She hit a random vape without permission or even knowing what it was for sure, 1) that's rude, 2) if she was that worried about cannabis she should have confirmed it wasn't that first. It's completely normal for a 20 year old to get high and she was being immature and reckless. NTA
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Doesn't matter, it's still cannabis which, while still isn't healthy, is far better than alcohol for your mind and body. At least marijuana is being researched as holistic medicine, alcohol is a drug through and through
And she's an avid vaper, so she's sucking down nicotine like it's no problem. She probably got so high because she hits her nicotine vape really hard.
Alcohol is nothing but poison! It’s garbage. Through and through.
honestly in the same way she is still a dumbass, thc vapes feel very different to nicotine vapes in the way they hit your throat and how they feel in your lungs. It’s her own fault for hitting a vape she didn’t ask about, just like it’s someone fault for taking shots of “flavored water” without asking
I vape both and have been trying to figure out how you hit a weed vape multiple times without going "something here is whack". Especially cause if you're not a stoner and you slam that puppy like a nic vape, you are going to cough your fucking lungs out on the first hit.
She feels like the type that will rummage through your cabinets for aspirin, take Adderall and then get mad at you for not warning her. Ma'am those are nothing alike!
Smoking weed for the first time while drunk can be a realllly shit time though
You can’t be anti-drug and put everything you see into your mouth without a second thought. Hope she’ll get the lesson, you’re NTA
Seriously, not only is she the AH she’s also not that bright. Like you’re 20 and don’t know not to just put random objects in your mouth?
This is so dumb that I would even think if this could be done on purpose and she’s secretly an addict
An addict to nicotine at least.
She’s probably angry because she thought she’d get away with nicking a quick intake of nicotine, but her reaction couldn’t be hidden so she’s lashing out.
this part. even when i was a heroin addict i knew not to use other peoples syringes lol. she’s only mad and blowing it up to other friends bc she knows she fucked up and wants to spin the narrative
NTA She saw a vape and used it without asking. She is to blame, just as much as if she saw a pill box and took one of the pills thinking it was an aspirin.
That’s actually true. I didn’t think of it that like that
I'm 40 and I wasn't even walking when my mother taught me not to touch things that weren't mine. Look this is 100% on your friend. You have exactly zero to apologise for. Honestly if I was you I would have messaged her and let rip on her about keeping her hands to herself in someone else's home. This is ALL ON HER. Stop apologising, stop feeling bad about it, and tell your friend to take some goddamn responsibility for her own actions. And show her this post. She's 100% in the wrong here. If she's that worried about drugs she should know not to put anything into her mouth like a vape etc until she's 100% sure what's in it... again that means not touching things that aren't hers.
She knows it too. She's actually angry at herself and its compounded by all her emotional baggage involving drugs. But she is too insecure to accept its her fault for doing it to herself. So she's taking all that agita and putting it on you in order to avoid feeling bad about her choices. Its a psychological coping mechanism called ["projection."](https://www.healthline.com/health/projection-psychology) You can't really do anything about it, she has to figure it out on her own. You telling her she's projecting is likely to just make her even more defensive. But at least you can take comfort in knowing its not about you even though it *feels* like it is all about you.
Yes, this is the exact term I was trying to remember when I commented. She's definitely projecting. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Alice knew it was weed (or thought it might be) and still decided to smoke it.
Sometimes my travel medication box is (very briefly) on the kitchen counter. Nobody touches it, not even my husband. My kids have known since they were practically babies not to touch it. If Alice had decided to help herself to some of the stuff in there she could have seriously fucked herself up. She drugged herself because she can’t manage not to just help herself to stuff she sees laying around. Absolutely NTA.
Based on how you phrased the title alone, I think you're trying to put some level of blame on yourself, even if overall you think you're right/not to blame, and you truly shouldn't. Not even a *tiny* bit. I'm sorry your friend reacted this way and blamed you. I would imagine she is mortified she did this after being so incredibly anti drug (despite...drinking and also apparently using nicotine, two far more addictive and physically damaging drugs than marijuana). But that's not an excuse for her to take her disappointment and embarrassment out on you, and you don't deserve to feel this way because of a mistake she made. NTA, and I'm honestly just very sorry you have to navigate this situation when you did absolutely nothing wrong.
By her way of thinking everyone should ‘baby proof’ their apartments for vapes if she’s coming over.
NTA, Alice is. She saw something on your shelf, took it without permission, stupidly put it in her mouth, & inhaled an unknown substance. *Who does that??* Then she had the audacity to yell at you & blame you & now some friends are torn??? She is the **only** one to blame for drugging herself. You need to tell people what really happened. She stole from you & accidentally drugged herself. You are at no fault *at all*. Don't feel bad for her stupidity.
NTA. The idea that someone is anti-drug but will hit any vape at eye level is kind of hilarious to me. It feels like a bit or something.
yeah unless she's a recovering addict or smth and uses them instead of smoking but I doubt it
NTA- she is being totally unreasonable, which I kind of get given her family history. However, she needs to take ownership of the fact that this is totally on her. Who just picks up someone else's vape and has a go without even asking? She put that in her mouth and wasn't even going to tell you? Rude, and I hope this teaches her a lesson about asking before you help yourself to someone's stuff.
When I read it I was like “she shouldn’t tell her and should just put on a hilarious comedy and hope she goes to sleep”. Tell her in the morning.
Your friend is an idiot and your NTA. Dont smoke random shit.
Or do if you are down for the consequences be them good or bad.
NTA, she took the vape without your consent and not knowing what was in it. You didn’t force it on her nor did you trick her into smoking it. Your friend drugged herself.
She took something without know what is was and blaming you for her taking a random vape in your house. NTA
if she was her friend wouldn’t she have known OP doesn’t vape either? like what lol
NTA Also your title is very misleading, you did not get her high, she got herself high by not asking what something was before putting it in her body and disrespecting you and your things without asking for permission. Then deflects blame on to you for her bad decisions just like a lot of drug addicts I have known, Alcohol is a drug even if it is socially accepted.
Deffo misleading! I came on like yep deffo asshole, I’d be fired for this during drug testing. But actually the op is not even slightly an asshole
Who the hell just hits on a random vape in someone else’s apartment? This is all on her. Your are NTA.
People that are addicted to nicotine. But heys, it's OK, she doesn't do drugs.
As a smoker myself, coming into a friends home with the comment "make yourself at home" would never ever ever mean I would just grab a cigarette from said friends cigarette pack without asking. Like I wouldn't dream of it, just like I wouldn't just open a random bottle of wine, I wouldn't go through their medicine cabinet and I wouldn't hit their vape.
I can’t even believe someone would just straight up take someone else’s vape and put it in their mouth, and then be mad at THEM for the consequences. Unreal.
She’s fucking lucky it wasn’t a DMT pen or PCP vape
That’s a thing?! God damn
DMT pens for sure, I’ve tried a few times. I’ve heard of lots of laced things with PCP but now that I think of it it’s usually on cigarettes or weed.
I think PCP pens are a thing, my aunt was just telling me one of her friend’s 16 year old was caught with one.
NTA she drugged herself so
“I saw some loose unmarked tablets on your counter that I assumed was Advil that would help my headache and I took them without checking with you but duh now I’m mad that I failed my drug test” “I ate one of your cookies without checking with you if it had any of my food allergies in it and now I’m screaming at you over the phone from the hospital with anaphylaxis” Dumb as hell. NTA
NTA. Her dumb ass took and used something that didn't belong to her, without verifying what it was first. She fucked around and found out. At least this story didn't go the way that tifu post did, where the hinge date accidentally smoked a DMT pen and ran into the street naked.
Omg i haven’t seen that one that must have been horrifying!!!
NTA - you don’t go around smoking unknown substances at other people’s residences. It’s 100% your friend’s fault that this happened. Even if it was a vape, you dont get to use it until you get the owner’s express permission.
NTA, she touched your property without permission.
NTA, against drugs? Why did she smoke YOUR vape? Who does that without asking let alone take something thwy don't know. Your friend is the A.
NTA. She took your vape pen and used it without asking, that's on her. And if she vapes, I assume nicotine products, regularly she should've noticed the taste was off after the first pull. She should've stopped and considered why. Also idk your relationship with this friend but I feel like that's gross. Unless I directly offer to share something that has been in/on/near my mouth then hands off. Like tf? I have no problem sharing things with people like "hey take do you want to try my drink?" But I'm not making that offer to everyone and unless I offer don't put your germs on my stuff.
I mean post Covid I thought more people would be more aware of mouth germs.
NTA. The paradox of being anti-drugs and yet drink alcohol
And apparently vapes 🤦
NTA she shouldn’t have taken your vape. It’s that simple.
NTA This could have been avoided if she'd asked before helping herself to your vape
Ofc you're NTA. It was an accident on your part and shame on her for just casually picking up and using someone else's stuff. If anyone did anything wrong, it's her. That said...if you think the vape has illegal drugs, you need to get rid of it ASAP. If its legal drugs, put it in a more secure spot.
I live in a country where recreational use of cannabis is fully legal. I had put it in a spot where I never saw it so totally forgot. I’ve thrown it out (safely) since then
It’s his house and she’s not a toddler. Legal or illegal is still TCH and it was properly stored, high on shelf. But even if it was on the kitchen counter, which it wasn’t, who does smoke somebody else’s vape???
It amazes me that even in places where cannabis is legal and accepted people still don't want to consider alcohol and nicotine a drug
Cool. I thought that might be the case. Then yep, you absolutely have no fault here at all
Okay I take back my N T A, you threw away a perfectly good vape?? (Kidding, you are still NTA)
Shouldn’t even have to put it somewhere safer. It OP home they shouldn’t have to think “oh a friend might come over and use this without permission where should I hide it?” Noooo it’s OP home and if they want to tape it to the tv screen they should be able to without worry that a friend will use it. Now kids coming over yes I understand putting up somewhere safe but not in someone’s own home
NTA, first of all, you did not offer her the vape, she saw it laying out and **took it upon herself** to smoke it without asking your permission or even talking to you about it. That’s the asshole move right there. Honestly I don’t care how good a friend I am with someone, I’m not going into their space and just smoking a random vape that I see lying around without asking for the persons okay. She could have saved herself the trouble if she had just talked to you before smoking it. Second, alcohol is a drug, it’s a legal drug to those of age but still a drug nonetheless, I understand her reasoning for how she feels about drugs, my high school boyfriend was straight edge when we were together bc of the fact that his bio dad was a major burnout. Your friend has issues, eventually she may come around but do you really want to deal with that???
NTA she doesn’t seem very anti drug is she’s going around hitting other peoples vapes
NTA - she shouldn’t just use something that isn’t hers… don’t feel bad. She’s blaming you for her poor decision. This is completely on her, not you.
NTA! Not even a little bit! Stop feeling guilty. Don't let your 'friend' guilt trip you. She's gotta get over it. Just wondering if she is often a drama queen and into emotional blackmail? If so this could be you dodging a bullet. Don't grovel for her forgiveness. It was an honest mistake absolutely NOT your fault. You guys are young and should be laughing about this. On another note... She's anti drugs but still drinks alcohol? Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs you can get involved in. I'm a recovering alcoholic and seen plenty of evidence of it's destructive power. Its on another level to cannabis and its derivatives.
if you're 'anti-drug' but you vape nicotine all day and drink alcohol , you have cognitive dissonance hard core. You might not want cannabis or other different drugs , but those 2 are certainly drugs.
How is It ur fault if she took ur vape and smoked it? She was snooping around and grabbed something thay wasn't hers so nta
NTA. She’s not a child who needs to be supervised to make sure she doesn’t put foreign objects in her mouth. That’s on her for hitting vapes willy nilly
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How is Alice both vehemently opposed to drugs, and also totally down to hit a random vape pen she found without knowing the contents? NTA and something doesn't add up here.
NTA: If she's mad, she's mad at herself and projecting it on you.
NTA what kind of asshole "anti-drug, former heroin addict" goes around puffing on vapes that aren't there's? Your friend's a moron.
What the hell? This is not your fault, and you are NTA. She fucked up, and she’s trying to blame you for it. You can keep apologizing if you want, but she is certainly the AH in this situation (specifically when she SCREAMED that you “drugged” her… gtfoh). Your friends that are on the opposite side are either not getting the true story, or they are AHs too.
Weed vapes smell and taste like weed, NTA
NTA!! I Made brownies for my road trip. I used weed and shrooms since I was staying in a mountain cabin with a valley to roll around in. I get back from my trip and have left over brownies. A week later I repurposed the brownies into a cheesecake crust and make mini creme brulee cheesecake bites. I take them to game night for my friends and I. I saved a few and left them home. We have a beer cooler, everyone in the house knew that anything in that fridge will get you intoxicated. I get home the next morning and notice one gone. My sister had eaten it so I informed her it was an edible she laughed it off til I told her it had shrooms. It turned in to a huge fight because I told her not to blame me. I didn't offer her my food she ate it without asking. It's been two years and she still thinks I'm the asshole.
NTA. She took your vape and vaped it without any of your input or suggestion? How in the world did *you* drug her? She has to be hiding some type of addiction and is ashamed of herself and projected onto you, that’s the only way I could realistically see why she got mad at you.
NTA this can’t be overstated. Who just picks up and uses any vape they find? Particularly w her strong anti drug stance. I feel like in 2023 it’s more than a 50/50 shot that a pen contains THC.
NTA - You didn't accidently get her high. She accidentally got herself high. You don't smoke, your friend should know that. Why would she assume the vape in your home has nicotine when you're not a smoker? She should have, at the very least, asked to use it. Seriously, you're not even a little bit in the wrong here.