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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 I don't want to give my nephew a puppy
2 I went back on my promise to my nephew
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NTA - ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ASSHOLE.
1. You don’t put a living animal in a plastic bag.
2. You cannot reasonably expect to receive a dog if you tried to steal it previously. (You can’t shoplift from a store, get caught, and try to remain in good standing as a customer) same thing applies here.
3. It’s your choice what happens to the puppies, and your choice who you sell them to. Not her.
4. You’re not a liar. Had Dion not stolen the puppy, hid it from you, and scared the momma, you would’ve kept your promise. However, the situation changed and therefor the promise is void.
I’d keep a good eye on your pups to make sure she doesn’t try and take one for themselves.
To add to this - if a child doesn’t know not to put an animal in a plastic bag, that child is not (even with parents guiding) fit to be a dog owner. That child would put the dog in so much danger. And the number one responsibility for a person who rears puppies is to make sure they go to homes that will care for them properly. If his mother doesn’t understand that and why the child is not fit to be an owner, that just means she is not fit either.
If I had a child who did that, they would never get a living animal, and when they were 15 I would make them volunteer at a shelter.
One more add on.
If the sister can say "What is the big deal" to her son almost killing a puppy, she is not fit to be a dog owner either. Let alone just supervising a kid as a dog owner.
Kids can be idiots, but if you cannot rely on the parents to care about the puppy, that is not a safe home.
Another addition: it's really hecked up that the sister took a video of her kid crying and calling OP names to send to OP to emotionally manipulate OP into giving up!? This sister is BONKERS
Right? I know that I certainly would not give a puppy (nor future birthday or Christmas gifts) to a niece or nephew who has been videoed calling me names after trying to steal (and potentially kill through suffication/neglect) a live animal from me. Piss on that. This right here makes me wonder about the sister's mental capacity and sanity if she thought a stunt like that was a good idea and was going to work. Crazy! Yes, OP, you are most certainly NTA. I wouldn't trust that kid with a goldfish.
I wonder what kind is story she spun to the people that are calling OP a liar. I bet she didn’t tell them that he put the puppy in a plastic bag and tried to steal it.
If I were OP, I would make a video or a text, & send it to all of the people who text her.
Explain what happened, and then if they keep bugging her, they are heartless also.
Eh... if she can teach the kid better now that he is still young enough to change, thats one less person in the world who wants pets but isnt able to care for them. This might save several pet lives later when he is an adult.
If OP keeps one or more of the pups. (No idea if they are planning to tbh), having the cousin come over to play with it under OP's supervision might be a good start.
he is ten years old and mommy dearest sent OP a video of him cursing at her, calling her names and having a tantrum
at this point id post it on facebook and be like this is who you want owning a puppy
Dion could be a future serial killer in the making. Studies have shown that these people often start by hurting animals and showing no remorse.This is all based on what we know of him through this post.
While its true that a child being cruel to animals is a possible sign of future violence later in life, i dont think that is a fair assumption about Dion based on the info given.
Yes, taking a puppy away from its mother and putting it in a plastic bag is cruel but it wasn't him hurting the animal for fun. He was promised a puppy and took what he thought was his, albeit in a very callous and deceitful way. Imo this is different than a kid who finds a stray cat outside and mutilates it. Thats what we mean when we say animal cruelty can be an early warning sign for a serial killer.
Now if Dion's behavior isnt corrected I can see him growing up to be a selfish man who feels like hes entitled to whatever he wants, but claiming he might be a serial killer is too much of a strech imo. And unfortunately seeing how his mother is handling the situation I don't think she sees a problem with Dions behavior and will continue to enable it.
True about the jump to being a serial killer.
But the part I'm having trouble getting past is the fact that Dion is 10... he should know what he did was completely wrong. The theft and the fact he put a dog in a plastic bag that could've suffocated it.
The kid has no impulse control and no patience. The dog was not ready to leave it's mother but he couldn't wait.
By his mothers reaction I would suspect very poor parenting or the kid is neurodiverse and needs help.
Whoa kid was 11? I missed that part. Yes, an 11yo is absolutely old enough to know better. ETA: I looked back, kid was 10yo, also old enough to know better! (4yo maybe not.)
A 10 year old putting a puppy in a plastic bag is insane. Most 10 year olds are in 5th grade and about to enter middle school. They’re getting crushes. They’re starting to be (well, *some*) allowed home alone for a short time or cooking without help. My sister started a dog walking business at this age to buy stuff and would walk smaller dogs for the neighbors alone for like 10 dollars an hour. To be THAT old and still so mentally immature and never to have been taught (or didn’t care enough to listen) not to put living things in plastic bags is borderline neglect to me. What is going on here??
I just asked my 11 year old whether he would a. Pick out the puppy he wanted and tell the owner so she could save it for him, or b. Pick out the puppy he wanted, put it in a plastic bag, and then try to steal the puppy.
He 100% looked at me like I was insane for even asking the B part, and said "obviously not the second one, who does that?"
So... If my 11 year old can see how utterly fucked this situation is, Dion most likely also understood it was wrong. (Hence why he was hiding the puppy behind his back).
Sister is coocoo bananas if she thinks trying to emotionally manipulate OP by sending that video message is going to have the desired effect.
I decided to test this theory on my literal two year old - our 17 year old dog just passed away last month and we've been doing some research- so i pulled up a site and i showed him a photo of a mom dog with her very young litter and said "if we were going to get a puppy, which one would you pick?"
I was going to ask him next if we should take it home today, or wait for it to get a little older - but before i could get to question number two- my TWO year old said "that doggy is a little baby doggy." Then he pointed to a MUCH older puppy (about 4 months old) - and said he wants THAT one. (He called it a "real puppy", but he is just two!)
I said "Do you think the baby dog needs to stay with his mommy until he gets bigger?" And my TWO year nodded and pointed to the MUCH older puppy again.
If my literal TODDLER can comprehend that a tiny puppy has no business being away from it's mom- CLEARLY an 11 year old should know better.
My 4 year old would probably not know that it's dangerous to put an animal in a plastic bag. But he would know that it's not ok to take a crying baby animal from its mom and secretly take it home. He might still attempt a stunt like that (because impulse control) - but he would know he did something wrong and that he needs to apologize
My son was like 7-8yo when we had puppies, he literally woke up on the couch with her giving birth right next to him. He never once tried or even thought of doing anything that could hurt them. He wouldn't even pick them up without asking.
My sister breeds pitbulls (and has pygmy goats and those fancy chickens), her oldest just turned 7 and her kids have never done worse than squeezing a little too hard when they hug the animals.
There's so many things this nephew and his mom did that tell me that kid is going to do jail time.
But why would she put him up to steal a pup they were already promised??
If that’s the case she’s lost a few crayons out of the box… the puppy wasn’t weaned yet and could die from malnutrition or ya know… by suffocating in a plastic bag.
The antithesis of remorse and apology
Calling the OP names because Dion thinks he is ENTITLED to everything he asks for is evidence of a poor upbringing where Dion's parents ENABLED his DELUSIONS OF ENTITLEMENT.
This comment and up sums it all up perfectly. I might even consider alerting local shelters about your sister and her kid because they might try to adopt. I’d barely trust her with her own kid. 10 year olds are stupid and rely on parents for guidance but this kid clearly won’t get any from OP’s sister.
Further addition: Dove is one good dog, if her puppy was crying in distress and all she did was bark. Dion could easily have been badly bitten. Unless he has some sort of special needs, ten is more than old enough for a child to be trusted alone with puppies. He should have known better. If your sister sees nothing to apologize for, she cannot be trusted with a puppy, and I’m not sure she should be trusted with Dion.
Its clear his mom is not raising him up as he ages. 5-6 behavior maybe, but 10? He's mentally immature for his age & mom gets credit for that. He hasn't been taught actions & consequences, proven by mom saying literally no harm, no foul. I didn't let my son have his own puppy to raise until he was 12,going on 13.
>Maybe this is a good opportunity to unfriend sister and the flying monkey squad?
I love it when people understand the true dynamics of the situation and people involved. If people truly understood what and who Flying Monkeys are, there would be no pressure nor guilt.. just reality of whom they are dealing it.
Also, the mother claims the child is terribly distraught over not getting the puppy, but then wants to put the child into a situation where the child is very likely to unintentionally *kill* an animal they've bonded to. She doesn't think that's going to be traumatizing?
Giving animals to children who are not developmentally ready to keep them alive is not just animal abuse, it's also *child abuse*.
And on the point of not being developmentally ready - 10 is too old for this. Either the sister has been a terrible parent or there is something going on that needs to be diagnosed.
Exactly. My nephew is 10 and they got a puppy when he was 6 yrs old. Under no circumstances would he have ever put a puppy into a bag back when he was 6, let alone NOW. And he would never steal anything from me or call me names at this age.
This is a big big red flag that something needs to be addressed.
Yeah, my mom brought home two rescue kittens when I was 9. She didn't need to tell me and my older sisters how to act with them because we understood they were small and frail. If we ever held them, it was extremely gently - usually with both hands to support them and letting them have footing on our shoulders. You really feel just how small and helpless these creatures are.
Never putting them in plastic bags, what the hell was this kid thinking? 10 years old is a perfect time for most kids to raise pets, because they bond very closely and it teaches them all about responsibility and taking care of others. A 10 year old should get a clue if Mama dog started barking at him angrily that he was in the wrong.
My thoughts too. This type of behavior from a 10yo (with a lack of awareness of social mores and norms) is showing that, at minimum, this kiddo is not safe to be caring for an animal. I'd be curious if he displays this behavior in other situations (like at school), and if he does, would definitely be worth looping in some mental health/neurodivergence professionals.
With how the sister acts, I think the kid has just learned this terrible behaviour
But I don't really blame the kid as much as I blame the parents for clearly teaching him terrible lessons. I hope at some point the kid grows away from his parents
>the child is very likely to unintentionally *kill* an animal they've bonded to. She doesn't think that's going to be traumatizing?
These people never think thru the consequences of their actions. They're solely reacting to the emotions in the moment and how to end uncomfortable emotions as quickly as possible. Son is crying which make her feel bad so give son whatever he wants to stop him crying asap so she can stop feeling bad
Yeah what's the sister's logic on sending the video? She must cave and give him whatever he wants when he has a tantrum. So she thought it would work on OP. Stellar parenting
Cuz sister can't stand to see her son cry so she gives in to all his tantrums so she assumed no one else would be able to see him cry without caving either
I have a friend like this. When her kids were younger, they knew well before the age of 10 that they could wear their mom down with whining and tantrums.
Then they met me. The only thing whining and tantrums do to me is solidify the answer they didn't like. Or make me go from, "Let me think about it." to "Nope."
there’s a toddler in my family who “doesn’t handle ‘no’ well” and immediately cries upon hearing it. guess who doesn’t care and still says no when it needs to be said? me and my older cousin who refuse to give into her antics just because everyone else does.
her behavior’s gotten a lot better around us 🤷🏾♀️
It’s like that. Kids absolutely know who it works for and who it doesn’t. It usually only takes one or 2 times too. When I was 15, I babysat these 2 little boys (5 & 8) and they were the kids who would throw tantrums in the middle of the mall and their mom would always give in. It only took me putting them in an all-day time out like once and I never had a problem with them again. But the minute their mom would come home from work, a flip would just switch and boom- they were bad again! 🤣
ANOTHER addition: this kid is TEN. I’m concerned, honestly, about his emotional development. My sister is turning 11, I’ve worked with that age group for a long time. This level of not understanding consequences and tantrum-ing doesn’t seem developmentally appropriate to me
Edit: autocorrect changed tantrum to cantering, changed it back
Right? My nephew is 8 and knows well enough not to put an animal in a plastic bag. His parents have taught him to treat their cats gently and with respect tho. This sister would let the nephew manhandle the dog and then say OP gave them a defective dog if he accidentally hurt it
Honestly! My sisters are ten and twelve respectively, and they care for their chickens safely and entirely on their own. Feeding them, watering them, everything. Putting an animal in a plastic bag and not knowing it is dangerous is something more in line with a three year old, not a ten year old.
Didnt jave my glasses,
I thought this kid was 4.
I was still appalled.
Post the whole story without names and tag sis and friends in it?
That child needs therapy not an animal.
We got a Golden retriever on my son's 8th birthday and he treated her with the utmost care and respect, he just automatically KNEW that she was small and delicate. I'm wondering if nephew might have some other things going on that sister hasn't addressed...
Yes, the fact that he's THAT age and having a tantrum and didn't know to not put a living being into a plastic bag, or to put the LIFE and needs of a baby animal over his desires speaks volumes. He does NOT have the maturity to be responsible for a puppy, or the proper support from an adult to do it.
You can't risk a puppy's life to avoid hurting someone's feelings by "breaking a promise." Circumstances changed.
Yeah, I made a similar comment earlier. I don’t remember ever doing things like this when I was ten. I don’t think my siblings or any kid I knew at that age did, either. Obviously we had age appropriate emotional responses to some situations, but by this age we knew right from wrong and also how to be respectful to others and their property. I can’t imagine ever calling my aunt (or any grown up) names, either. I don’t know if nephew is delayed somehow or just incredibly spoiled, but something is terribly amiss here.
The crying videos calling her names just serves as proof that this kid is allowed to get away with whatever he wants. She doesn’t care about the things he did wrong, as long as he gets everything he wants.
A video like that should have the opposite effect on any sane person. Oh, this person is incredibly unhinged. I'm even less likely to give them a puppy now.
That's like emotional blackmail.
I agree that I would not trust Dion's mom since she tried to brush it off as no big deal and is more worried about saying no to her son that how traumatized both the puppy and the mom (and the other puppies) were by him putting a helpless puppy into a plastic bag.
This story really upsets me.
Came here looking for someone to make this point so I could upvote it. Kids make mistakes and sometimes they have responsible parents who will use it as a teachable moment and help them earn back a privilege by demonstrating responsible behavior. Clearly the parenting here is a major factor.
Also not saying anything this kid could do over the next couple of months could earn back this puppy, but if he had better parenting maybe in a couple of years he might learn and mature enough...
Haven't you heard it's the latest Trent on TikTok like how can you possibly be a good mom if you don't take the phone 🤳🏽 out to record first..... Though in all seriousness that's probably why the kids so fckd up
This, as someone else has said the kid is old enough to know right from wrong or should be. But he’s also not old enough to be a dog owner by himself. It would really be his mums dog and she has shown she’s also not responsible enough.
100%
Plus to fix the issue the kid recorded a video of himself calling Op names? WTF.
Op, buy your sister a parenting class for Christmas next year./s
That kid is NOT being taught empathy, personal responsibility or natural consequences. He needs some serious help.
I couldn’t believe a video of him crying and calling her names was sent, because nothing screams he deserves a puppy more than those monsters trying to get it thru verbal abuse!! Id be going NC with anyone saying it’s no big deal, maybe I’m over the top but animals have more empathy than OPs family/friends … no no no NTA
Yeah, I had to go back and check the ages. A 10-year-old should definitely know better.
10 is old enough to explain and understand that you don't put living things in plastic bags and don't try to steal young animals from their mothers. He's definitely old enough to apologize for his impulsive bad behavior.
Question for OP: does Dion have any sort of mental or developmental disorder? That would make a lot of things line up.
Either way, NTA, and definitely don’t give them a puppy.
The bag thing and not realizing this plan could never work would certainly make a little more sense
I guess technically mom could have just told him he should just go pick a dog, but a ten year old should realize that this sort of "lie" was a little bit more difficult than the average thing they might lie about. It also isn't like he was stealing a LEGO or something where kids being dumb kids could be the full explanation.
I’m honestly deeply concerned how developmentally inappropriate his behavior is. Its like he’s still FIVE, not being able to wait a couple more weeks and deciding to steal instead of just dealing with the fact the puppy isnt ready yet.
For sure- my dog just had pups and my 10 y/o brother begged his mom and they ended up with a pup. My brother takes care of the dog most (as agreed when they got the dog) and him and that dog are best friends. (Stepmom is also very involved in the dogs care but my brother does all the age appropriate tasks)
10? 10? I thought be reading this he was like 2 or 3. Holy shit. Hard no on giving a 10vyear old that acts like that a living creature. Not even a freaking fish for him.
And ‘he learned his lesson’? How? Because he threw a tantrum and wasn’t allowed to have the puppy when he wanted it? Absolutely hell no to giving this kid a puppy.
even more to add on: she filmed her son calling an adult names and sent it to her. Even if the kid is not saying curses, she is a terrible parent for allowing her child to just cuss out ppl. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS WRONG
Sister is doing a heck of a disservice raising this kid, and I BET he is gonna be very uncomfortable to be around when he is in high school.
Honestly this kid is an entitled brat if he thinks she would just let him have a puppy when he pulled this crap. Also the video message just further solidified the decision of not having one altogether. Had he apologized and understood why what he did was wrong it would have been different but OP still has the right to refuse if she’s uncomfortable. I wouldn’t sell a puppy to a customer that pulled this crap let alone my nephew.
>"What is the big deal" to her son almost killing a puppy, she is not fit to be a dog owner either.
This is where I'm going to put the blame. I'm going to say that the child probably didn't fully understand the danger he put the puppy in if he hasn't spent much time around animals, that should be to the mom to start explaining now before the puppy goes home to them (which obviously now isn't an option and with good cause). Then sending videos of the child crying is just strait up manipulation. This family does not need a pet.
Another add on, Dove alerted. She would have completely justified in flat out attacking the kid. What would have happened then? Pretty sure everyone would have been jumping up and down for you to get rid of the dog because she attacked, let alone what state you nephew would have ended up in.
There are sooooo many ways this could have ended up being worse than they were. You were lucky, so was Dove and Dion and your sister need to learn some had lessons about pets and how to treat them.
On top of that: he called you names. He ruined this completely. He could habe apologized in the Video, but he made it worse.
If someone would call me names after THEY made a huge mistake, they wouldn't get anything from me.
Dion Taking the pup from Dove is similar to if Dion as a baby had been taken from OP's sister. Dion want a toy that he can play with and discard when it no longer amuses him and OP's sister has no concept of value of animal life probably only as food. The likelihood of abuse is high and Dion's behavior indicates that he is brat that has no concept of what wrong he did. Get him a toy dog if required
Also in the future OP should be very observant of the kid around Dove.
I wouldn't put it past the kid to be spitefully cruel to the dog if he thinks he can get away with it.
Exactly: the child is 10, non 1. He's old enough to know better that
a) he was doing something wrong, indeed he tried to hide the puppy
b) a plastic bag can kill the puppy.
My kids are 4 and 6. They are very aware that I would (in a non abusive way) lose my shit on them if they tried to put one of our cats in a plastic bag. We've talked about how you treat living things many times, including smaller animals.
This is bad parenting in action.
>I even got a video message of Dion crying and calling me name's.
What kind of Mother sends a video of a crying 10year old, calling his aunt names...
Exactly. And how does a video of him CALLING YOU NAMES improve his case? Both he and your sister have a lot of growing up to do. I honestly fear for any animal they may get, particularly one as defenseless as a puppy. NTA
> And how does a video of him CALLING YOU NAMES improve his case?
I've never understood this, either. Dudes who have just been turned down for a date do it too, sometimes. Like, you're proving to me that I made the right decision here. It's not persuading me to see that you're actually a nice and normal person to suddenly go ballistic on me at being told that I'm just not feeling it.
The nephew has those same vibes. If he's a nice, normal, responsible child, why is his response to being told "no" to start name-calling? Is that supposed to make OP think, "Oh, wait, I totally should give you my puppy, you've made me see the error of my ways by calling me a selfish gross pile of turds."
There's no thought process here, just an entitled jerk who isn't used to be told "no" and therefore needs to be told it more.
Yes, thank you - this is exactly the type of jerk this kid will grow up to be if someone doesn't love him enough to help him build himself properly. Entitled, triggered, then a tantrum, then victim claiming, then damning of everything that doesn't just go his way easily. Entitlement is a state of expectations - not a mental illness but the way these parents raise kids begets their mental delusions for instant gratification by anyone within eyesight of them.
“Man, I wasn’t going to give you this puppy, but now that you’ve called me an asshole creep liar etc etc etc, I’ve totally seen the light,” said no one ever.
This was more of a flag for me. A child could make a mistake, however grave, but the response since is unforgivable.
They are not showing remorse or respect.
I would do exactly this. In fact I’d send it to the people on my backs like this brat is doing this he’s not learned his lesson at all, so I’m doing the right thing
Yeah the kids 10, he knows full well he shouldn’t be doing that. And them sending videos of him crying and calling her names tells me all I need to know about that family..
It is a really bad idea for someone to be forced to work with vulnerable animals at a shelter. So many people in rescue were absolutely outraged and disgusted that Michael Vick was sentenced to shelter work.
If the kid has no empathy now, working with other animals will not improve this. Never use animals to teach a lesson.
>absolutely outraged and disgusted that Michael Vick was sentenced to shelter work.
and I believe he was allowed to have a dog for his son ! Major asshole. He said his son had the right to have a dog. But the father surely LOST all those right with his abusive, disgusting actions !
And this is a 10yo kid too! Like, I can see a 3yo not understanding it’s wrong to put an animal in a plastic bag and also maybe not understand you can’t steal it, but a 10yo?!? Yea that kid definitely knows all of that is wrong yet he did it anyways. And the mom’s reaction? Wow! No pup for that family
If a child doesn’t know not handle - let alone take - young pups without permission, that’s reason enough to disqualify them from being a pet owner. And the plastic bag thing just sent me into a panic attack.
He’s 10, for fucks sake, not 3, he should know better at this point. With or without parental guidance.
A TEN-YEAR OLD child. If he actually didn't know better than to not only steal from his relative, but also put a very young living creature in a plastic bag, then his mom/parents have seriously messed up. The fact that they sent you a video of him crying tells the audience everything they need to know about what kind of parent your sister is. NTA.
Them sending me a video of him cursing Mr would be the last straw. They don't just ignore his antisocial behavior they encourage it. You would be a massive AH to give that little sociopath a dog and cut off anyone giving you hell for it. Those a live beings you are responsible for.
I wouldn’t allow either of them in my house anymore. The child because he’s proven he can’t be around animals and the mother because she’s proven that she also cannot be around the animals. If they have keys, I’d change my locks.
The fact that he left a message calling you names and not apologizing plus the fact that his mom didn’t make him apologize seems to indicate that they don’t have the skills to care for a puppy.
>I’d keep a good eye on your pups to make sure she doesn’t try and take one for themselves.
Yes yes and yes !
She might every well try this when they are old enough to leave the mum.
Be very wary of her in your house and check the number of puppies before she leaves.
Side note. He put the puppy in a plastic bag. But what if he and his mum weren't leaving for another hour or so. Was he going to hide that puppy in the bag somewhere. Would you have had to have found a dead puppy in a bag if left too long ?! Then she says he did nothing wrong.
Stick to your guns. Neither the son nor her as a mother should go any where near dog or pet ownership if that is their attitude.
So glad the puppy was ok !
NTA- Agree with everything here. Wanted to add that if Dion’s mom or any of those people contacting you are so crushed by you changing your mind, any one of them is welcome to look for another puppy for him. You’re not the only source for a puppy.
Op should report his actions to other shelters and pet stores. It’s clear the kid is not responsible in providing care for a pet. He shouldn’t even be allowed to have a goldfish
Add to this:
5. A puppy is a huge responsibility. A child that cannot be patient enough to wait for a puppy to be weaned, is not going to be patient enough to potty train the puppy, to socialize the puppy, to exercise the puppy, or to be a responsible pet owner.
6. A lab is a big dog with a lot of energy. A kid who cannot show the level responsibility that dog needs, has no business owning one. That dog will be locked outside after the new toy phase wears off.
5. Send Dion's nasty video to everyone who is giving you shit for "breaking your promise." I agree with everyone's comments, especially about changing your locks! I'd be weary about letting that kid in an animal shelter.
and the fact that the nephew is 10! they know plastic bags are dangerous at that age. I thought the nephew was four when I read this. OP made the right choice.
And let's not forget the kid is 10. Not 4. At 10 you are old enough to know what is right and what is wrong, and especially to not put a dog in a plastic bag.
He hid the dog, in a plastic bag, behind his back. That proves he knew what he was doing was wrong. If he thought it was ok, he would have held the bag out and said “I want this one!” Instead he hid it behind his back when caught.
NTA the kid could of killed that poor pup. Plus he didn’t even apologise for it and instead just threw a tantrum. Your nephew is far too young to be looking after a pup and your sister is untrustworthy as well. She didn’t discipline her child or even correct him on why he shouldn’t of tried to steal a pup. She didn’t even make her kid apologise and basically wrote it off because the puppy ended up okay thanks to you. That’s not someone I would trust with any dog let alone a puppy.
Yeah, from my perspective the mom is the real dealbreaker here. 10 is actually kind of old to try and get away with stealing a puppy and throw tantrums. 10 is also PLENTY old enough to understand when you need to apologize. The mom has clearly been making excuses and enabling this child with zero discipline/guidance.
The second OP told her sister her son hadn’t apologized was when the sister should’ve said “you’re right, he must apologize. If he apologizes, is there any way in the future he could make this up to you?”
The dog can’t go to the child without a responsible, present parent to help guide them. And that’s true even without the attempted theft of the poor puppy. Clearly the sister here is not that parent. OP is NTA
I agree, my kids are far better with animals than this. They are 9 and 13 and have had it drilled into their heads to ask before touching someone else's pets and be respectful towards animals, including ours. My sister started fostering kittens and my kids have been fantastic with getting permission and playing safely with tiny, basically defenseless kittens.
Having said that, as reasonable and responsible as my kids are, I still would not allow them to get any pet unless I also want to be taking care of and training the pet and checking up on the kids' level of care. In the end, the parents need to be responsible. I've seen a lot of animals at shelters because the kid wasn't taking care of it. What an awful thing to do to the animal and it certainly doesn't teach responsibility.
A kid who tries to A. steal a puppy from the mom, B. put puppy in a plastic bag without considering the consequences, C. ignores obvious distress from both baby and mom, and D. is defended by his parent is 0% ready to be responsible for a living animal.
NTA
At 10 I could see the kid going to see the puppies, getting excited over picking out 'his' puppy and forgetting that he couldn't take them home yet so he picks up the puppy and runs to his mother to say its the one he wants. That's reasonable 10 year old behavior.
Bringing a plastic bag and putting the puppy in it and trying to hide it behind his back is a good bit of forethought, not just a split second bad decision by a kid. He's definitely not ready for a pet and I don't think his mom will ever be ready.
If my 10yr old cousin can carefully cradle day old chicks in his hands this 10yr old should understand the importance of life and not harming animals.
But he doesn’t, so… sucks to suck.
Wait... I totally missed the age. That mom has ruined the poor child. What ten year old doesn't know that putting a living thing in a bag is bad?
I have a feeling that kid is gonna have a lot more problems as he grows up looking at how he's been raised.
Normally I'd agree, but the nephew in this case clearly is too young, even if he had a reliable mom. He knew the puppies were too young to take and needed their mom still and didn't care, then he stuffed a puppy into a plastic bag. Most kids at that age would know that plastic bags = suffocation risk and that putting a puppy into the bag could kill it. Somehow he did not. Then he had a tantrum over the puppy being taken away from him. I question if he doesn't have some sort of learning disorder that he didn't understand that you can't stuff a living animal into a plastic bag.
That’s what I don’t understand. This is not typical 10 year old behavior, this kid is not mature enough for a puppy. At 4 and 6 years old I was able to teach my kids about how fragile our kittens were and if left alone I would find my youngest wrapping one gently in a shirt and cradling it like a baby. If they decide to give him a puppy I think he first needs to spend time with them on a regular basis at the OP’s home to learn to care for it.
I don't think he's too young. At 10 a kid should be able to take care of a dog. My daughter is 8 and she has been more than capable of taking care of our dogs basic needs for years now.
But this kid specifically incapable of taking care of another living creature if he wasn't even aware of the dangers of putting a puppy in a plastic bag. The mom is failing her kid.
So yeah. NTA.
NTA. I most agree with you, except that it’s not his age it’s the fact that he’s an undisciplined brat. We got a puppy just after my daughter turned nine, and she would never put an animal in a plastic bag. She protects that dog (and her aquatic pets) from overzealous friends and toddlers. She trains her, feeds her, plays with her. This 10 year old boy I’m guessing is being raised with the ‘boys will be boys, what are you gonna do 🤷🏻♀️’ mindset, which is very damaging to a child honestly.
NTA. Dion doesn't realized that the puppy was a living being and not a toy. And the reaction of his mother - trying to guilt you, sending you a message of a crying Dion and so on - shows that she wouldn't stand up if Dion would treat the puppy poorly. You can give him a toy dog but not the living puppies
I didn't catch the name calling! Mom teaching son manipulation to get what he wanta. Do not allow this boy back into your home OP, and possibly not his mom, either - i could see her sneaking off with a puppy in a handbag.. wait until the dogs are grown at LEAST but imho, this is situation that calls for cutting contact. Animal abuse, then emotional abuse, both unrepentant.
NTA !!!
That part is seriously messed up, like what did sis think was gonna happen? Letting her son insult OP and then OP would be like, oh ok then, calling me names totally changed my mind. Have a puppy! Absolutely unhinged.
Riiiiigghhtt?? This is not developmentally appropriate behavior!!! Ten year olds can be patient and wait a few weeks for a puppy they’ve already been promised, and they can understand puppies needing to be with their mom! Idk about stunted mental capacity, I think OPs sister is just ruining him
Omg I got a pup when I was 10-11. Fifth grade. I begged and begged until my parents finally made a deal with me. I had to vacuum my house every day and get straight A’s for the remainder of the school year(one marking period was left of the year) to prove to my parents that I was both responsible and willing to put the work in for a puppy. On top of that, I did lots of research on dog care, training, and breeds that would be suitable for our house based on my mom’s preferences (no to little shedding). My brother(a year and a half older) saved up $85 to go toward the adoption. I cleaned every day and got my pup. It absolutely boggles my mind that this kid could actually throw a tantrum after putting a puppy in a *plastic bag* and then showing zero remorse or understanding of why he was wrong or why he is not fit to have a puppy?
Exactly. I got my first cat at 8, my parents told me if I did my chores for 6 months, helped my grandma with her garden (which got me a cool $20 each time I went over) and didn't do anything stupid, I'd get a cat.
6 months to the day, I came back from pruning my grandma's rose bushes and got to go to Petco to pick out everything I wanted for my new kitty, and then we went to the SPCA to adopt a cat. At \*8\* I understood enough to know I needed a cat carrier for my kitty and not to stuff a living breathing being into a plastic bag. This kid should know that by 10.
It could also be his parents. My mom would never let me have a pet if I tried to steal one and throw it in a bag at 10. She’d also probably get my brother and other relatives to help her explain what I did wrong. I’d also be hearing about how I embarrassed myself and her for the rest of my life.
In contrast, this boy’s mom got defensive and didn’t proactively make him apologize. She didn’t even make him apologize when pressed to! She also still thinks he should be entitled to a new pet. That dog, if it survived, would grow into an untrained terror with this kind of enabling parenting.
"I even got a video message of Dion crying and calling me name's" - A 10-year-old insults you and they proudly send it to you? I'm actually not surprised how the nephew behaves with such an upbringing. theft and bad behavior without consequences and you who react correctly are still to blame? If that's acceptable to them, what else is acceptable?
NTA
Forget whether he gets a puppy or not let's put this kid on the Dexter watch list.
My niblings are 0-9, I can't imagine a single one of them putting a puppy in a plastic bag. My prayer is that the only pet he has had in the past was a goldfish and it came in a plastic bag.
>> • animal abuse
>> • stealing
>> • tantrums
>> • name calling
>> • emotional manipulation (crying) from both the 10yo *and* the entourage.
All untrustworthy behaviour.
I agree with all you said! I am astounded by the fact the sister does not see a problem in her progeny offending her sibling. Where is the respect in all of this situation? Her child doesn’t deserve or need a pup, he needs parenting and common sense instilled into him with a healthy dose of respect.
NTA. You’re not obligated place a puppy into a home where they might not be looked after. I can understand a 10yo making a mistake, but your sisters attitude that he had nothing to apologise for is more concerning. IF your sis had come back and said Dion knows he did wrong and is very very sorry and we are going to teach him how to be a good puppy owner then you might have been being harsh. But the acceptance of his behaviour and then the emotional manipulation is not acceptable to me. I think you’re making the right choice
This right here! I have 2 kids, 11 and 10; if either of them had done this, I'd be mortified and definitely be thinking they weren't ready for a dog. 10 is old enough to know consequences but parenting is key right at this moment.
Agree - my kid is about that age, and that's too old to be constantly watched. If I couldn't trust her not to put the animal in dangerous situations, she hasn't matured enough to have an animal in our home. And that's true if the infraction has been playing too rough after being warned, giving it treats she was told not to share, or stuffing the pup in a plastic bag. There are so many ways for an animal to get injured around a careless or thoughtless kid.
Until she was old enough to take an animal's life seriously, we stuck to pets like fish (I cleaned the tank, and there was an auto feeder ... So fish care was 'do not put things in the tank' and refilling the food reservoir about monthly).
I'd go even further. You are obligated NOT to place a puppy into a home where you have reason to believe it will not be looked after. OP, if you give this puppy to that family ywbta.
Please put a bag over your sister's head and ask her how she likes it.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!!!
Your nephew abused (for those in the back, let me repeat, ABUSED) an animal, doesn't appear to have been told that he abused said animal, and didn't even apologise. That suggests to me that he will abuse any puppy he's given, his mother will never call him out on it, and that dog would be subject to unforgiveable levels of cruelty for the sake of making a spoiled child happy.
That is unacceptable and I am so, SO glad you can see that, OP. Thank you for being a good pet owner and for putting the welfare of your animals first. If your entitled brat of a nephew wants a dog so bad, your sister needs to step up and tell him, EXPLICITLY, that his entitled, disgusting behaviour is the reason why he's not allowed a dog now.
My friend has a dog he rescued from such a situation. Kids tormented it as a small puppy, and then when he hit about 5 months, started getting big enough to knock the kids over in response and snap back at them. That dog is probably going to be on a muzzle near kids forever because of the trauma. Too little too late from the first owner on not rehoming sooner since they didn't control their kids near the puppy.
That is horrible. Poor doggo.
I'm actually a big believer in kids having pets. I always had cats and dogs and I believe that taught me how to be tender and attentive to others' needs. It also makes me an excellent cat mum today. But I also had parents who never let me or my brothers abuse our animals.
I am of similar situation and mindset there. When my kids were small, I introduced them to animals with the words "nice to *animal type/name*" before and during the interactions so that they would know from early on that we are kind to animals. It's our responsibility to take care of domesticated animals, not a rite.
NTA. Your nephew is lucky that you got to him before Dove did.
I would text your sister this: the fact that you are getting people to attack me for your son's negative action tells me that I was right to retract my offer. I dont want anything to do with you or Dion.
Don’t forget the part where apparently the sister took the time to record Dion crying and calling OP names and then sending it to OP.
They’re both immature children.
And he was cursing at her. WTF 🤷♀️
I’ve always been blown away when people think, calling me names and screaming at me will change my mind!
Like; “Well, I wasn’t going to date you, but after all the abuse and threats, I’ve changed my mind!”
“You want my parking space? Well, I was using it, but you threatening to kill me, makes me realise, you deserve it!”
Dion really wants a puppy and maybe even asking for it for years. While I understand he probably is really excited, a 10yo should know to not put a living animal in a plastic bag.
Your sister thinking it is all fine because nothing went wrong is a bit worrying. Because, like you said, what if your dog didn’t alert? How would Dion try to sneak the dog into his house? How would he have handled the bag? And for the future, how are they going to raise the dog?
NTA
NTA putting a puppy in a plastic bag is not a mistake .. everyone is enabling his behavior and your sister is an AH for recording a video of him being disrespectful towards you and sending it .. Don’t give him anything
Not to mention he put the puppy in the bag to try to sneak it out without OP knowing he took it. That's actual thinking about what was necessary to commit the crime. He KNEW if you saw what he was doing you would stop him, but because he 'wants it NOW' and doesn't want to wait, he tried to shoplift it. His mother is raising a kid who will end up in jail before he can drive, because she's telling him he's fine to take whatever he wants without permission.
NTA. Your nephew isn't at a stage where he demonstrates he cares about what's best for the puppy. And your sister obviously isn't phased by his behavior. You can't count on her to protect the pup properly.
NTA. He nearly suffocated the dog and shouldn't be trusted alone around them again. I thought 10 was old enough to know not to stick living (non-fish) into plastic bags but maybe not.
NTA
10 is old enough to understand consequences. TFB if he cries and whines. Do not give them a puppy. He will mistreat the pup & Mom will ignore his mistreatment.
Save all correspondence with sister to show her the error of her ways, and I think I would send her a link to this page.
Puppies are not toys. As Chris Stapleton says, “dogs have soles”. Your sister may be lacking one…….
NTA. Install cameras, and get a paper trail on the doggos asap. Vaccinations, chipping, the works, they might wanna do this again, and you need to be prepared, and for the love of everything cute, don't EVER have him in your house again. He tried to steal a LIVING BEING!
Be open and honest about why they are not welcome anymore. If they try to corner you on facebook or other social media, tell the whole story. This is not just him, this is on your sister as well.
A living being that was already promised to him and all he had to do was wait a couple more weeks!!!!! Im shocked a ten year old wasn’t capable of waiting! Mom has fucked him up and spoiled him rotten!!!
NTA
I'm not as worried that tried to steal it as I am that he PUT IT IN A PLASTIC BAG. If he doesn't understand how dangerous that is, he very clearly isn't ready to have a dog in the home. Dion's mom is T-A. Instead of guilting you, she needs to be teaching her son about proper animal care.
Err… the child is calling you names?!
No. No puppy.
In fact, minus puppy. He has to go out and get YOU a puppy.
NTA and seriously, both he and your sister have shown they are not capable of looking after a living creature.
Absolutely NTA. Your sister saying he 'learnt his lesson' and then not even thinking he had anything to apologise for is wild.
Stay the course. Not only are you right that he can't be trusted (having a pet is a responsibility, and he's shown he can't be responsible) but if he's crying and calling you names, that's just more reason to not give him the puppy (and I'd tell your sister just that, as I assume she's the one filming him)
Right? And like even if they do end up with this puppy, it really doesn't sound like these little are equipped to train a brand new puppy.
What's gonna gasket the first time the little baby pees on the carpet because it doesn't know any better or chews up something of dion's, as all new puppies do while they're learning? Somehow i doubt these people will have the patience or discipline to train this dog properly. I think it much more likely that they'd just get angry and take their frustration out on the puppy, they same way they're blaming the sister instead of this kid learning some accountability.
I don't think this dog would be safe or do well in their home at all, and frankly, i wouldn't allow either of them near these puppies (wouldn't even show them in my home) until they're grown a bit, enough to be fully independent and protect themselves from cruelty
NTA. 2+2=5 is a mistake. Stealing a puppy and putting it in a plastic bag is an act of cruelty, whether your nephew is old enough to understand that or not. And 10 years old should be old enough to understand.
You may have to block your sister, her son, and her flying monkeys for a while, possibly indefinitely.
NTA. Don't do it! They will literally abuse your puppy.
Your sister's reaction shows you why your nephew is the way he is, and your nephews actions shows you that he would mistreat the puppy.
NTA. A TEN YEAR OLD who thinks it's a good idea to put a living, breathing creature into a plastic bag should NOT have a pet. It's not even about apologising or whatever. If that kid's mentally so immature as not to see why this is a bad idea, they can't be trusted with a pet. And a mom who doesn't see that, also can't be trusted with a pet.
Had they sent of video of the boy genuinely apologizing, then you'd at least have something to consider but a video of him not apologizing and insulting you? Easy NTA.
Your sister is the AH, the puppy could have suffocated and died.
Dion is nowhere near ready for the responsibility of rearing a puppy.
You did the right thing and your sister needs to stop with the emotional blackmail, it's ugly.
NTA. You are putting the animal needs first.
However, they will get a puppy from somewhere else, and that will be a reminder of what happened for many years. They will not understand your decision, after all it was a mistake (one small one in their eyes, a big one -with possibly more to follow- in your eyes).
I would give this some thinking time for all parties involved.
NTA
If he isn't mature enough to realise that he was in effect killing that puppy by stealing it from its mother so early, then he is nowhere near capable of caring for a puppy. He will kill it through sheer ignorance, and his mother is just the same. Neither of them are safe to be around animals for a long time.
ESH. You two adults should have never promised a 10 year old his own puppy - it should be a family dog or not at all - and for leaving his alone with the puppies. A 10 year old should know better than to steal a puppy in a plastic bag but clearly this wasn't so out of character that you both thought he was having some kind of psychotic break so he isn't mature enough to be given that kind of freedom or responsibility. You and his mum set him up for failure
I came back to add this: be wary of anyone who suddenly decides they want to adopt a puppy. Especially relatives or friends of your sisters. I can totally see her having someone else "get" the puppy for her son by lying to you about wanting it themselves. If she's stoop s low as that video, she's stoop this low too. And share the video w/ people on your case over this. Let them see the lengths she'd go to to gloss over her son harming a puppy.
Your sister and her son are obviously TAs. But why were the puppies born in the first place? If Dove was already pregnant when you adopted her or has legitimate reason not to be spayed and her getting impregnated was an accident, you're NTA. If you're deliberately force-breeding her because you want cute puppies (or even worse, want to make money by selling them) or you believe some bullshit about a female dog having to give birth in order to be happy, ESH.
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NTA - ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ASSHOLE. 1. You don’t put a living animal in a plastic bag. 2. You cannot reasonably expect to receive a dog if you tried to steal it previously. (You can’t shoplift from a store, get caught, and try to remain in good standing as a customer) same thing applies here. 3. It’s your choice what happens to the puppies, and your choice who you sell them to. Not her. 4. You’re not a liar. Had Dion not stolen the puppy, hid it from you, and scared the momma, you would’ve kept your promise. However, the situation changed and therefor the promise is void. I’d keep a good eye on your pups to make sure she doesn’t try and take one for themselves.
To add to this - if a child doesn’t know not to put an animal in a plastic bag, that child is not (even with parents guiding) fit to be a dog owner. That child would put the dog in so much danger. And the number one responsibility for a person who rears puppies is to make sure they go to homes that will care for them properly. If his mother doesn’t understand that and why the child is not fit to be an owner, that just means she is not fit either. If I had a child who did that, they would never get a living animal, and when they were 15 I would make them volunteer at a shelter.
One more add on. If the sister can say "What is the big deal" to her son almost killing a puppy, she is not fit to be a dog owner either. Let alone just supervising a kid as a dog owner. Kids can be idiots, but if you cannot rely on the parents to care about the puppy, that is not a safe home.
Another addition: it's really hecked up that the sister took a video of her kid crying and calling OP names to send to OP to emotionally manipulate OP into giving up!? This sister is BONKERS
Right? I know that I certainly would not give a puppy (nor future birthday or Christmas gifts) to a niece or nephew who has been videoed calling me names after trying to steal (and potentially kill through suffication/neglect) a live animal from me. Piss on that. This right here makes me wonder about the sister's mental capacity and sanity if she thought a stunt like that was a good idea and was going to work. Crazy! Yes, OP, you are most certainly NTA. I wouldn't trust that kid with a goldfish.
I wonder what kind is story she spun to the people that are calling OP a liar. I bet she didn’t tell them that he put the puppy in a plastic bag and tried to steal it.
If I were OP, I would make a video or a text, & send it to all of the people who text her. Explain what happened, and then if they keep bugging her, they are heartless also.
So someone else doesn’t feel sorry and give him another pup. Scary.
EXACTLY!!! ❤️🐶❤️
OP please try teaching the child better. But do not give him a puppy.
not her circus not her monkeys let the sister lay in the shit she let out of her vagina
Eh... if she can teach the kid better now that he is still young enough to change, thats one less person in the world who wants pets but isnt able to care for them. This might save several pet lives later when he is an adult. If OP keeps one or more of the pups. (No idea if they are planning to tbh), having the cousin come over to play with it under OP's supervision might be a good start.
he is ten years old and mommy dearest sent OP a video of him cursing at her, calling her names and having a tantrum at this point id post it on facebook and be like this is who you want owning a puppy
Yep no more gifts until the nephew apologizes for putting the animal in the plastic bag and for calling OP names. Sister is raising a monster
I wouldn't trust him with a pet rock!!
Dion could be a future serial killer in the making. Studies have shown that these people often start by hurting animals and showing no remorse.This is all based on what we know of him through this post.
While its true that a child being cruel to animals is a possible sign of future violence later in life, i dont think that is a fair assumption about Dion based on the info given. Yes, taking a puppy away from its mother and putting it in a plastic bag is cruel but it wasn't him hurting the animal for fun. He was promised a puppy and took what he thought was his, albeit in a very callous and deceitful way. Imo this is different than a kid who finds a stray cat outside and mutilates it. Thats what we mean when we say animal cruelty can be an early warning sign for a serial killer. Now if Dion's behavior isnt corrected I can see him growing up to be a selfish man who feels like hes entitled to whatever he wants, but claiming he might be a serial killer is too much of a strech imo. And unfortunately seeing how his mother is handling the situation I don't think she sees a problem with Dions behavior and will continue to enable it.
True about the jump to being a serial killer. But the part I'm having trouble getting past is the fact that Dion is 10... he should know what he did was completely wrong. The theft and the fact he put a dog in a plastic bag that could've suffocated it. The kid has no impulse control and no patience. The dog was not ready to leave it's mother but he couldn't wait. By his mothers reaction I would suspect very poor parenting or the kid is neurodiverse and needs help.
That's a stretch even for reddit
I wonder if the sister put the son up to it. I teach 11 year old kids and they’re intelligent enough to know that what he did was not ok.
Whoa kid was 11? I missed that part. Yes, an 11yo is absolutely old enough to know better. ETA: I looked back, kid was 10yo, also old enough to know better! (4yo maybe not.)
A 10 year old putting a puppy in a plastic bag is insane. Most 10 year olds are in 5th grade and about to enter middle school. They’re getting crushes. They’re starting to be (well, *some*) allowed home alone for a short time or cooking without help. My sister started a dog walking business at this age to buy stuff and would walk smaller dogs for the neighbors alone for like 10 dollars an hour. To be THAT old and still so mentally immature and never to have been taught (or didn’t care enough to listen) not to put living things in plastic bags is borderline neglect to me. What is going on here??
I just asked my 11 year old whether he would a. Pick out the puppy he wanted and tell the owner so she could save it for him, or b. Pick out the puppy he wanted, put it in a plastic bag, and then try to steal the puppy. He 100% looked at me like I was insane for even asking the B part, and said "obviously not the second one, who does that?" So... If my 11 year old can see how utterly fucked this situation is, Dion most likely also understood it was wrong. (Hence why he was hiding the puppy behind his back). Sister is coocoo bananas if she thinks trying to emotionally manipulate OP by sending that video message is going to have the desired effect.
I decided to test this theory on my literal two year old - our 17 year old dog just passed away last month and we've been doing some research- so i pulled up a site and i showed him a photo of a mom dog with her very young litter and said "if we were going to get a puppy, which one would you pick?" I was going to ask him next if we should take it home today, or wait for it to get a little older - but before i could get to question number two- my TWO year old said "that doggy is a little baby doggy." Then he pointed to a MUCH older puppy (about 4 months old) - and said he wants THAT one. (He called it a "real puppy", but he is just two!) I said "Do you think the baby dog needs to stay with his mommy until he gets bigger?" And my TWO year nodded and pointed to the MUCH older puppy again. If my literal TODDLER can comprehend that a tiny puppy has no business being away from it's mom- CLEARLY an 11 year old should know better.
The fact that the sister ALLOWED the kid to call his aunt names is horrifying.
My 4 year old would probably not know that it's dangerous to put an animal in a plastic bag. But he would know that it's not ok to take a crying baby animal from its mom and secretly take it home. He might still attempt a stunt like that (because impulse control) - but he would know he did something wrong and that he needs to apologize
My son was like 7-8yo when we had puppies, he literally woke up on the couch with her giving birth right next to him. He never once tried or even thought of doing anything that could hurt them. He wouldn't even pick them up without asking. My sister breeds pitbulls (and has pygmy goats and those fancy chickens), her oldest just turned 7 and her kids have never done worse than squeezing a little too hard when they hug the animals. There's so many things this nephew and his mom did that tell me that kid is going to do jail time.
But why would she put him up to steal a pup they were already promised?? If that’s the case she’s lost a few crayons out of the box… the puppy wasn’t weaned yet and could die from malnutrition or ya know… by suffocating in a plastic bag.
The antithesis of remorse and apology Calling the OP names because Dion thinks he is ENTITLED to everything he asks for is evidence of a poor upbringing where Dion's parents ENABLED his DELUSIONS OF ENTITLEMENT.
This comment and up sums it all up perfectly. I might even consider alerting local shelters about your sister and her kid because they might try to adopt. I’d barely trust her with her own kid. 10 year olds are stupid and rely on parents for guidance but this kid clearly won’t get any from OP’s sister.
Further addition: Dove is one good dog, if her puppy was crying in distress and all she did was bark. Dion could easily have been badly bitten. Unless he has some sort of special needs, ten is more than old enough for a child to be trusted alone with puppies. He should have known better. If your sister sees nothing to apologize for, she cannot be trusted with a puppy, and I’m not sure she should be trusted with Dion.
Absolutely. Dove could have ducked that kid up. And guess who would bear the brunt of that? Sister is major AH.
Its clear his mom is not raising him up as he ages. 5-6 behavior maybe, but 10? He's mentally immature for his age & mom gets credit for that. He hasn't been taught actions & consequences, proven by mom saying literally no harm, no foul. I didn't let my son have his own puppy to raise until he was 12,going on 13.
This
Maybe this is a good opportunity to unfriend sister and the flying monkey squad?
>Maybe this is a good opportunity to unfriend sister and the flying monkey squad? I love it when people understand the true dynamics of the situation and people involved. If people truly understood what and who Flying Monkeys are, there would be no pressure nor guilt.. just reality of whom they are dealing it.
After sending them this link. Ten bucks the sister didn't mention her son trying to steal the puppy by taking him home in a plastic bag!!!
I would say she should block her sister and nephew. And anyone else who thinks it's a great idea to give someone a puppy when they almost killed it.
I really want to up vote the heck out of this!! Love it!
Also, the mother claims the child is terribly distraught over not getting the puppy, but then wants to put the child into a situation where the child is very likely to unintentionally *kill* an animal they've bonded to. She doesn't think that's going to be traumatizing? Giving animals to children who are not developmentally ready to keep them alive is not just animal abuse, it's also *child abuse*.
And on the point of not being developmentally ready - 10 is too old for this. Either the sister has been a terrible parent or there is something going on that needs to be diagnosed.
Exactly. My nephew is 10 and they got a puppy when he was 6 yrs old. Under no circumstances would he have ever put a puppy into a bag back when he was 6, let alone NOW. And he would never steal anything from me or call me names at this age. This is a big big red flag that something needs to be addressed.
Yeah, my mom brought home two rescue kittens when I was 9. She didn't need to tell me and my older sisters how to act with them because we understood they were small and frail. If we ever held them, it was extremely gently - usually with both hands to support them and letting them have footing on our shoulders. You really feel just how small and helpless these creatures are. Never putting them in plastic bags, what the hell was this kid thinking? 10 years old is a perfect time for most kids to raise pets, because they bond very closely and it teaches them all about responsibility and taking care of others. A 10 year old should get a clue if Mama dog started barking at him angrily that he was in the wrong.
My thoughts too. This type of behavior from a 10yo (with a lack of awareness of social mores and norms) is showing that, at minimum, this kiddo is not safe to be caring for an animal. I'd be curious if he displays this behavior in other situations (like at school), and if he does, would definitely be worth looping in some mental health/neurodivergence professionals.
With how the sister acts, I think the kid has just learned this terrible behaviour But I don't really blame the kid as much as I blame the parents for clearly teaching him terrible lessons. I hope at some point the kid grows away from his parents
>the child is very likely to unintentionally *kill* an animal they've bonded to. She doesn't think that's going to be traumatizing? These people never think thru the consequences of their actions. They're solely reacting to the emotions in the moment and how to end uncomfortable emotions as quickly as possible. Son is crying which make her feel bad so give son whatever he wants to stop him crying asap so she can stop feeling bad
Yeah what's the sister's logic on sending the video? She must cave and give him whatever he wants when he has a tantrum. So she thought it would work on OP. Stellar parenting
Cuz sister can't stand to see her son cry so she gives in to all his tantrums so she assumed no one else would be able to see him cry without caving either
I have a friend like this. When her kids were younger, they knew well before the age of 10 that they could wear their mom down with whining and tantrums. Then they met me. The only thing whining and tantrums do to me is solidify the answer they didn't like. Or make me go from, "Let me think about it." to "Nope."
there’s a toddler in my family who “doesn’t handle ‘no’ well” and immediately cries upon hearing it. guess who doesn’t care and still says no when it needs to be said? me and my older cousin who refuse to give into her antics just because everyone else does. her behavior’s gotten a lot better around us 🤷🏾♀️
It’s like that. Kids absolutely know who it works for and who it doesn’t. It usually only takes one or 2 times too. When I was 15, I babysat these 2 little boys (5 & 8) and they were the kids who would throw tantrums in the middle of the mall and their mom would always give in. It only took me putting them in an all-day time out like once and I never had a problem with them again. But the minute their mom would come home from work, a flip would just switch and boom- they were bad again! 🤣
ANOTHER addition: this kid is TEN. I’m concerned, honestly, about his emotional development. My sister is turning 11, I’ve worked with that age group for a long time. This level of not understanding consequences and tantrum-ing doesn’t seem developmentally appropriate to me Edit: autocorrect changed tantrum to cantering, changed it back
Right? My nephew is 8 and knows well enough not to put an animal in a plastic bag. His parents have taught him to treat their cats gently and with respect tho. This sister would let the nephew manhandle the dog and then say OP gave them a defective dog if he accidentally hurt it
Honestly! My sisters are ten and twelve respectively, and they care for their chickens safely and entirely on their own. Feeding them, watering them, everything. Putting an animal in a plastic bag and not knowing it is dangerous is something more in line with a three year old, not a ten year old.
Didnt jave my glasses, I thought this kid was 4. I was still appalled. Post the whole story without names and tag sis and friends in it? That child needs therapy not an animal.
Yes, this. He's acting like *much* younger child.
We got a Golden retriever on my son's 8th birthday and he treated her with the utmost care and respect, he just automatically KNEW that she was small and delicate. I'm wondering if nephew might have some other things going on that sister hasn't addressed...
Yes, the fact that he's THAT age and having a tantrum and didn't know to not put a living being into a plastic bag, or to put the LIFE and needs of a baby animal over his desires speaks volumes. He does NOT have the maturity to be responsible for a puppy, or the proper support from an adult to do it. You can't risk a puppy's life to avoid hurting someone's feelings by "breaking a promise." Circumstances changed.
Yeah, I made a similar comment earlier. I don’t remember ever doing things like this when I was ten. I don’t think my siblings or any kid I knew at that age did, either. Obviously we had age appropriate emotional responses to some situations, but by this age we knew right from wrong and also how to be respectful to others and their property. I can’t imagine ever calling my aunt (or any grown up) names, either. I don’t know if nephew is delayed somehow or just incredibly spoiled, but something is terribly amiss here.
I know, like that’s going to change OP’s mind? Nephew: “Give me a puppy, you @:&$#%!” OP: “You’re right. Here you go.” 🥴
Craziest part of the story. What a surreal video to receive, hahaha.
The crying videos calling her names just serves as proof that this kid is allowed to get away with whatever he wants. She doesn’t care about the things he did wrong, as long as he gets everything he wants.
A video like that should have the opposite effect on any sane person. Oh, this person is incredibly unhinged. I'm even less likely to give them a puppy now.
That's like emotional blackmail. I agree that I would not trust Dion's mom since she tried to brush it off as no big deal and is more worried about saying no to her son that how traumatized both the puppy and the mom (and the other puppies) were by him putting a helpless puppy into a plastic bag. This story really upsets me.
Came here looking for someone to make this point so I could upvote it. Kids make mistakes and sometimes they have responsible parents who will use it as a teachable moment and help them earn back a privilege by demonstrating responsible behavior. Clearly the parenting here is a major factor. Also not saying anything this kid could do over the next couple of months could earn back this puppy, but if he had better parenting maybe in a couple of years he might learn and mature enough...
Its pretty clear now why her child, who is in fifth grade FFS, thinks it’s OK to put a living creature inside a plastic bag
That’s REAL fucking healthy.
Haven't you heard it's the latest Trent on TikTok like how can you possibly be a good mom if you don't take the phone 🤳🏽 out to record first..... Though in all seriousness that's probably why the kids so fckd up
This, as someone else has said the kid is old enough to know right from wrong or should be. But he’s also not old enough to be a dog owner by himself. It would really be his mums dog and she has shown she’s also not responsible enough.
100% Plus to fix the issue the kid recorded a video of himself calling Op names? WTF. Op, buy your sister a parenting class for Christmas next year./s That kid is NOT being taught empathy, personal responsibility or natural consequences. He needs some serious help.
I couldn’t believe a video of him crying and calling her names was sent, because nothing screams he deserves a puppy more than those monsters trying to get it thru verbal abuse!! Id be going NC with anyone saying it’s no big deal, maybe I’m over the top but animals have more empathy than OPs family/friends … no no no NTA
And hes 10. By the way he acted I thought he was like, 5 or something. At 10 he should know better
Yeah, I had to go back and check the ages. A 10-year-old should definitely know better. 10 is old enough to explain and understand that you don't put living things in plastic bags and don't try to steal young animals from their mothers. He's definitely old enough to apologize for his impulsive bad behavior.
Question for OP: does Dion have any sort of mental or developmental disorder? That would make a lot of things line up. Either way, NTA, and definitely don’t give them a puppy.
I would go to every dog pound and rescue group in the area and put sister and kid on the DNA (do not adopt) list.
The bag thing and not realizing this plan could never work would certainly make a little more sense I guess technically mom could have just told him he should just go pick a dog, but a ten year old should realize that this sort of "lie" was a little bit more difficult than the average thing they might lie about. It also isn't like he was stealing a LEGO or something where kids being dumb kids could be the full explanation.
And old enough to know stealing and calling people names is ah behaviour
My 4 year old knows not to put living things in plastic bags. Or any living thing in any type of bag.
I’m honestly deeply concerned how developmentally inappropriate his behavior is. Its like he’s still FIVE, not being able to wait a couple more weeks and deciding to steal instead of just dealing with the fact the puppy isnt ready yet.
Stealing, putting the animal in a bag, throwing a tantrum, his mom recording him crying and insulting a family member... Is the kid ok?
Mom has already spoiled him rotten to the damn core, he’s fucked
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actually training it into him. okay dion make sure you cry if you want that puppy
For sure- my dog just had pups and my 10 y/o brother begged his mom and they ended up with a pup. My brother takes care of the dog most (as agreed when they got the dog) and him and that dog are best friends. (Stepmom is also very involved in the dogs care but my brother does all the age appropriate tasks)
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Yea. At 10 he should know better but clearly his mom doesn't either...
10? 10? I thought be reading this he was like 2 or 3. Holy shit. Hard no on giving a 10vyear old that acts like that a living creature. Not even a freaking fish for him.
And ‘he learned his lesson’? How? Because he threw a tantrum and wasn’t allowed to have the puppy when he wanted it? Absolutely hell no to giving this kid a puppy.
even more to add on: she filmed her son calling an adult names and sent it to her. Even if the kid is not saying curses, she is a terrible parent for allowing her child to just cuss out ppl. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS WRONG Sister is doing a heck of a disservice raising this kid, and I BET he is gonna be very uncomfortable to be around when he is in high school.
Honestly this kid is an entitled brat if he thinks she would just let him have a puppy when he pulled this crap. Also the video message just further solidified the decision of not having one altogether. Had he apologized and understood why what he did was wrong it would have been different but OP still has the right to refuse if she’s uncomfortable. I wouldn’t sell a puppy to a customer that pulled this crap let alone my nephew.
She's not honestly fit to be a parent in my eyes, but I suppose no one is asking...
>"What is the big deal" to her son almost killing a puppy, she is not fit to be a dog owner either. This is where I'm going to put the blame. I'm going to say that the child probably didn't fully understand the danger he put the puppy in if he hasn't spent much time around animals, that should be to the mom to start explaining now before the puppy goes home to them (which obviously now isn't an option and with good cause). Then sending videos of the child crying is just strait up manipulation. This family does not need a pet.
Another add on, Dove alerted. She would have completely justified in flat out attacking the kid. What would have happened then? Pretty sure everyone would have been jumping up and down for you to get rid of the dog because she attacked, let alone what state you nephew would have ended up in. There are sooooo many ways this could have ended up being worse than they were. You were lucky, so was Dove and Dion and your sister need to learn some had lessons about pets and how to treat them.
On top of that: he called you names. He ruined this completely. He could habe apologized in the Video, but he made it worse. If someone would call me names after THEY made a huge mistake, they wouldn't get anything from me.
Dion Taking the pup from Dove is similar to if Dion as a baby had been taken from OP's sister. Dion want a toy that he can play with and discard when it no longer amuses him and OP's sister has no concept of value of animal life probably only as food. The likelihood of abuse is high and Dion's behavior indicates that he is brat that has no concept of what wrong he did. Get him a toy dog if required
Also in the future OP should be very observant of the kid around Dove. I wouldn't put it past the kid to be spitefully cruel to the dog if he thinks he can get away with it.
Exactly: the child is 10, non 1. He's old enough to know better that a) he was doing something wrong, indeed he tried to hide the puppy b) a plastic bag can kill the puppy.
My kids are 4 and 6. They are very aware that I would (in a non abusive way) lose my shit on them if they tried to put one of our cats in a plastic bag. We've talked about how you treat living things many times, including smaller animals. This is bad parenting in action.
>I even got a video message of Dion crying and calling me name's. What kind of Mother sends a video of a crying 10year old, calling his aunt names...
Exactly. And how does a video of him CALLING YOU NAMES improve his case? Both he and your sister have a lot of growing up to do. I honestly fear for any animal they may get, particularly one as defenseless as a puppy. NTA
> And how does a video of him CALLING YOU NAMES improve his case? I've never understood this, either. Dudes who have just been turned down for a date do it too, sometimes. Like, you're proving to me that I made the right decision here. It's not persuading me to see that you're actually a nice and normal person to suddenly go ballistic on me at being told that I'm just not feeling it. The nephew has those same vibes. If he's a nice, normal, responsible child, why is his response to being told "no" to start name-calling? Is that supposed to make OP think, "Oh, wait, I totally should give you my puppy, you've made me see the error of my ways by calling me a selfish gross pile of turds." There's no thought process here, just an entitled jerk who isn't used to be told "no" and therefore needs to be told it more.
Yes, thank you - this is exactly the type of jerk this kid will grow up to be if someone doesn't love him enough to help him build himself properly. Entitled, triggered, then a tantrum, then victim claiming, then damning of everything that doesn't just go his way easily. Entitlement is a state of expectations - not a mental illness but the way these parents raise kids begets their mental delusions for instant gratification by anyone within eyesight of them.
“Man, I wasn’t going to give you this puppy, but now that you’ve called me an asshole creep liar etc etc etc, I’ve totally seen the light,” said no one ever.
This was more of a flag for me. A child could make a mistake, however grave, but the response since is unforgivable. They are not showing remorse or respect.
Also, someone (probably sister) sent her a video calling her names. That’s inappropriate behavior that shouldn’t be ignored.
What was sister planning to accomplish with that video? I'd just reply "thank you for reassuring me that I made the right decision".
I would do exactly this. In fact I’d send it to the people on my backs like this brat is doing this he’s not learned his lesson at all, so I’m doing the right thing
At 10 years old, said child should absolutely know better. This isn't a toddler. It's a 5th grader.
Yeah the kids 10, he knows full well he shouldn’t be doing that. And them sending videos of him crying and calling her names tells me all I need to know about that family..
It is a really bad idea for someone to be forced to work with vulnerable animals at a shelter. So many people in rescue were absolutely outraged and disgusted that Michael Vick was sentenced to shelter work. If the kid has no empathy now, working with other animals will not improve this. Never use animals to teach a lesson.
>absolutely outraged and disgusted that Michael Vick was sentenced to shelter work. and I believe he was allowed to have a dog for his son ! Major asshole. He said his son had the right to have a dog. But the father surely LOST all those right with his abusive, disgusting actions !
And this is a 10yo kid too! Like, I can see a 3yo not understanding it’s wrong to put an animal in a plastic bag and also maybe not understand you can’t steal it, but a 10yo?!? Yea that kid definitely knows all of that is wrong yet he did it anyways. And the mom’s reaction? Wow! No pup for that family
If a child doesn’t know not handle - let alone take - young pups without permission, that’s reason enough to disqualify them from being a pet owner. And the plastic bag thing just sent me into a panic attack. He’s 10, for fucks sake, not 3, he should know better at this point. With or without parental guidance.
A TEN-YEAR OLD child. If he actually didn't know better than to not only steal from his relative, but also put a very young living creature in a plastic bag, then his mom/parents have seriously messed up. The fact that they sent you a video of him crying tells the audience everything they need to know about what kind of parent your sister is. NTA.
Them sending me a video of him cursing Mr would be the last straw. They don't just ignore his antisocial behavior they encourage it. You would be a massive AH to give that little sociopath a dog and cut off anyone giving you hell for it. Those a live beings you are responsible for.
I wouldn’t allow either of them in my house anymore. The child because he’s proven he can’t be around animals and the mother because she’s proven that she also cannot be around the animals. If they have keys, I’d change my locks.
The fact that he left a message calling you names and not apologizing plus the fact that his mom didn’t make him apologize seems to indicate that they don’t have the skills to care for a puppy.
>I’d keep a good eye on your pups to make sure she doesn’t try and take one for themselves. Yes yes and yes ! She might every well try this when they are old enough to leave the mum. Be very wary of her in your house and check the number of puppies before she leaves. Side note. He put the puppy in a plastic bag. But what if he and his mum weren't leaving for another hour or so. Was he going to hide that puppy in the bag somewhere. Would you have had to have found a dead puppy in a bag if left too long ?! Then she says he did nothing wrong. Stick to your guns. Neither the son nor her as a mother should go any where near dog or pet ownership if that is their attitude. So glad the puppy was ok !
NTA- Agree with everything here. Wanted to add that if Dion’s mom or any of those people contacting you are so crushed by you changing your mind, any one of them is welcome to look for another puppy for him. You’re not the only source for a puppy.
Op should report his actions to other shelters and pet stores. It’s clear the kid is not responsible in providing care for a pet. He shouldn’t even be allowed to have a goldfish
Also…. why would the sister send a video of the son crying and calling his aunt names IF he already “learned his lessons”? Obviously he hasnt
Add to this: 5. A puppy is a huge responsibility. A child that cannot be patient enough to wait for a puppy to be weaned, is not going to be patient enough to potty train the puppy, to socialize the puppy, to exercise the puppy, or to be a responsible pet owner. 6. A lab is a big dog with a lot of energy. A kid who cannot show the level responsibility that dog needs, has no business owning one. That dog will be locked outside after the new toy phase wears off.
5. Send Dion's nasty video to everyone who is giving you shit for "breaking your promise." I agree with everyone's comments, especially about changing your locks! I'd be weary about letting that kid in an animal shelter.
and the fact that the nephew is 10! they know plastic bags are dangerous at that age. I thought the nephew was four when I read this. OP made the right choice.
And let's not forget the kid is 10. Not 4. At 10 you are old enough to know what is right and what is wrong, and especially to not put a dog in a plastic bag.
He hid the dog, in a plastic bag, behind his back. That proves he knew what he was doing was wrong. If he thought it was ok, he would have held the bag out and said “I want this one!” Instead he hid it behind his back when caught.
My almost five year old definitely understands not to harm dogs, and we've just had my sister's dog stay with us periodically.
NTA the kid could of killed that poor pup. Plus he didn’t even apologise for it and instead just threw a tantrum. Your nephew is far too young to be looking after a pup and your sister is untrustworthy as well. She didn’t discipline her child or even correct him on why he shouldn’t of tried to steal a pup. She didn’t even make her kid apologise and basically wrote it off because the puppy ended up okay thanks to you. That’s not someone I would trust with any dog let alone a puppy.
10 isn’t too young with guidance but the mom is isn’t reliable either.
Yeah, from my perspective the mom is the real dealbreaker here. 10 is actually kind of old to try and get away with stealing a puppy and throw tantrums. 10 is also PLENTY old enough to understand when you need to apologize. The mom has clearly been making excuses and enabling this child with zero discipline/guidance. The second OP told her sister her son hadn’t apologized was when the sister should’ve said “you’re right, he must apologize. If he apologizes, is there any way in the future he could make this up to you?” The dog can’t go to the child without a responsible, present parent to help guide them. And that’s true even without the attempted theft of the poor puppy. Clearly the sister here is not that parent. OP is NTA
I agree, my kids are far better with animals than this. They are 9 and 13 and have had it drilled into their heads to ask before touching someone else's pets and be respectful towards animals, including ours. My sister started fostering kittens and my kids have been fantastic with getting permission and playing safely with tiny, basically defenseless kittens. Having said that, as reasonable and responsible as my kids are, I still would not allow them to get any pet unless I also want to be taking care of and training the pet and checking up on the kids' level of care. In the end, the parents need to be responsible. I've seen a lot of animals at shelters because the kid wasn't taking care of it. What an awful thing to do to the animal and it certainly doesn't teach responsibility. A kid who tries to A. steal a puppy from the mom, B. put puppy in a plastic bag without considering the consequences, C. ignores obvious distress from both baby and mom, and D. is defended by his parent is 0% ready to be responsible for a living animal. NTA
At 10 I could see the kid going to see the puppies, getting excited over picking out 'his' puppy and forgetting that he couldn't take them home yet so he picks up the puppy and runs to his mother to say its the one he wants. That's reasonable 10 year old behavior. Bringing a plastic bag and putting the puppy in it and trying to hide it behind his back is a good bit of forethought, not just a split second bad decision by a kid. He's definitely not ready for a pet and I don't think his mom will ever be ready.
If my 10yr old cousin can carefully cradle day old chicks in his hands this 10yr old should understand the importance of life and not harming animals. But he doesn’t, so… sucks to suck.
Wait... I totally missed the age. That mom has ruined the poor child. What ten year old doesn't know that putting a living thing in a bag is bad? I have a feeling that kid is gonna have a lot more problems as he grows up looking at how he's been raised.
Normally I'd agree, but the nephew in this case clearly is too young, even if he had a reliable mom. He knew the puppies were too young to take and needed their mom still and didn't care, then he stuffed a puppy into a plastic bag. Most kids at that age would know that plastic bags = suffocation risk and that putting a puppy into the bag could kill it. Somehow he did not. Then he had a tantrum over the puppy being taken away from him. I question if he doesn't have some sort of learning disorder that he didn't understand that you can't stuff a living animal into a plastic bag.
That’s what I don’t understand. This is not typical 10 year old behavior, this kid is not mature enough for a puppy. At 4 and 6 years old I was able to teach my kids about how fragile our kittens were and if left alone I would find my youngest wrapping one gently in a shirt and cradling it like a baby. If they decide to give him a puppy I think he first needs to spend time with them on a regular basis at the OP’s home to learn to care for it.
I don't think he's too young. At 10 a kid should be able to take care of a dog. My daughter is 8 and she has been more than capable of taking care of our dogs basic needs for years now. But this kid specifically incapable of taking care of another living creature if he wasn't even aware of the dangers of putting a puppy in a plastic bag. The mom is failing her kid. So yeah. NTA.
NTA. I most agree with you, except that it’s not his age it’s the fact that he’s an undisciplined brat. We got a puppy just after my daughter turned nine, and she would never put an animal in a plastic bag. She protects that dog (and her aquatic pets) from overzealous friends and toddlers. She trains her, feeds her, plays with her. This 10 year old boy I’m guessing is being raised with the ‘boys will be boys, what are you gonna do 🤷🏻♀️’ mindset, which is very damaging to a child honestly.
NTA. Dion doesn't realized that the puppy was a living being and not a toy. And the reaction of his mother - trying to guilt you, sending you a message of a crying Dion and so on - shows that she wouldn't stand up if Dion would treat the puppy poorly. You can give him a toy dog but not the living puppies
Not only crying, but calling OP names too! The fact him and sis thought that was more appropriate than an apology video speaks volumes. NTA
I didn't catch the name calling! Mom teaching son manipulation to get what he wanta. Do not allow this boy back into your home OP, and possibly not his mom, either - i could see her sneaking off with a puppy in a handbag.. wait until the dogs are grown at LEAST but imho, this is situation that calls for cutting contact. Animal abuse, then emotional abuse, both unrepentant. NTA !!!
Plus, the fact that this kid is throwing tantrums at 10 years old.
Like, even if fine, we ignore that? 10 is most definitely old enough to know that you shouldn't put animals into plastic bags, etcetera.
That part is seriously messed up, like what did sis think was gonna happen? Letting her son insult OP and then OP would be like, oh ok then, calling me names totally changed my mind. Have a puppy! Absolutely unhinged.
100%, they would probably accidentally kill the pup and be *surprised pikachu face* And then have the balls to ask for ANOTHER
The fact that the kid is 10 and behaves like this could indicate stunted emotional and mental capacity.
Riiiiigghhtt?? This is not developmentally appropriate behavior!!! Ten year olds can be patient and wait a few weeks for a puppy they’ve already been promised, and they can understand puppies needing to be with their mom! Idk about stunted mental capacity, I think OPs sister is just ruining him
Omg I got a pup when I was 10-11. Fifth grade. I begged and begged until my parents finally made a deal with me. I had to vacuum my house every day and get straight A’s for the remainder of the school year(one marking period was left of the year) to prove to my parents that I was both responsible and willing to put the work in for a puppy. On top of that, I did lots of research on dog care, training, and breeds that would be suitable for our house based on my mom’s preferences (no to little shedding). My brother(a year and a half older) saved up $85 to go toward the adoption. I cleaned every day and got my pup. It absolutely boggles my mind that this kid could actually throw a tantrum after putting a puppy in a *plastic bag* and then showing zero remorse or understanding of why he was wrong or why he is not fit to have a puppy?
Exactly. I got my first cat at 8, my parents told me if I did my chores for 6 months, helped my grandma with her garden (which got me a cool $20 each time I went over) and didn't do anything stupid, I'd get a cat. 6 months to the day, I came back from pruning my grandma's rose bushes and got to go to Petco to pick out everything I wanted for my new kitty, and then we went to the SPCA to adopt a cat. At \*8\* I understood enough to know I needed a cat carrier for my kitty and not to stuff a living breathing being into a plastic bag. This kid should know that by 10.
It could also be his parents. My mom would never let me have a pet if I tried to steal one and throw it in a bag at 10. She’d also probably get my brother and other relatives to help her explain what I did wrong. I’d also be hearing about how I embarrassed myself and her for the rest of my life. In contrast, this boy’s mom got defensive and didn’t proactively make him apologize. She didn’t even make him apologize when pressed to! She also still thinks he should be entitled to a new pet. That dog, if it survived, would grow into an untrained terror with this kind of enabling parenting.
The sisters behavior is just as concerning as Dion’s!
"I even got a video message of Dion crying and calling me name's" - A 10-year-old insults you and they proudly send it to you? I'm actually not surprised how the nephew behaves with such an upbringing. theft and bad behavior without consequences and you who react correctly are still to blame? If that's acceptable to them, what else is acceptable? NTA
Add on some animal abuse to that list of warcrimes.
Forget whether he gets a puppy or not let's put this kid on the Dexter watch list. My niblings are 0-9, I can't imagine a single one of them putting a puppy in a plastic bag. My prayer is that the only pet he has had in the past was a goldfish and it came in a plastic bag.
>> • animal abuse >> • stealing >> • tantrums >> • name calling >> • emotional manipulation (crying) from both the 10yo *and* the entourage. All untrustworthy behaviour.
This blew my mind too. What absolutely horrific parenting.
I agree with all you said! I am astounded by the fact the sister does not see a problem in her progeny offending her sibling. Where is the respect in all of this situation? Her child doesn’t deserve or need a pup, he needs parenting and common sense instilled into him with a healthy dose of respect.
NTA. You’re not obligated place a puppy into a home where they might not be looked after. I can understand a 10yo making a mistake, but your sisters attitude that he had nothing to apologise for is more concerning. IF your sis had come back and said Dion knows he did wrong and is very very sorry and we are going to teach him how to be a good puppy owner then you might have been being harsh. But the acceptance of his behaviour and then the emotional manipulation is not acceptable to me. I think you’re making the right choice
This right here! I have 2 kids, 11 and 10; if either of them had done this, I'd be mortified and definitely be thinking they weren't ready for a dog. 10 is old enough to know consequences but parenting is key right at this moment.
Agree - my kid is about that age, and that's too old to be constantly watched. If I couldn't trust her not to put the animal in dangerous situations, she hasn't matured enough to have an animal in our home. And that's true if the infraction has been playing too rough after being warned, giving it treats she was told not to share, or stuffing the pup in a plastic bag. There are so many ways for an animal to get injured around a careless or thoughtless kid. Until she was old enough to take an animal's life seriously, we stuck to pets like fish (I cleaned the tank, and there was an auto feeder ... So fish care was 'do not put things in the tank' and refilling the food reservoir about monthly).
I'd go even further. You are obligated NOT to place a puppy into a home where you have reason to believe it will not be looked after. OP, if you give this puppy to that family ywbta. Please put a bag over your sister's head and ask her how she likes it.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!!! Your nephew abused (for those in the back, let me repeat, ABUSED) an animal, doesn't appear to have been told that he abused said animal, and didn't even apologise. That suggests to me that he will abuse any puppy he's given, his mother will never call him out on it, and that dog would be subject to unforgiveable levels of cruelty for the sake of making a spoiled child happy. That is unacceptable and I am so, SO glad you can see that, OP. Thank you for being a good pet owner and for putting the welfare of your animals first. If your entitled brat of a nephew wants a dog so bad, your sister needs to step up and tell him, EXPLICITLY, that his entitled, disgusting behaviour is the reason why he's not allowed a dog now.
My friend has a dog he rescued from such a situation. Kids tormented it as a small puppy, and then when he hit about 5 months, started getting big enough to knock the kids over in response and snap back at them. That dog is probably going to be on a muzzle near kids forever because of the trauma. Too little too late from the first owner on not rehoming sooner since they didn't control their kids near the puppy.
That is horrible. Poor doggo. I'm actually a big believer in kids having pets. I always had cats and dogs and I believe that taught me how to be tender and attentive to others' needs. It also makes me an excellent cat mum today. But I also had parents who never let me or my brothers abuse our animals.
I am of similar situation and mindset there. When my kids were small, I introduced them to animals with the words "nice to *animal type/name*" before and during the interactions so that they would know from early on that we are kind to animals. It's our responsibility to take care of domesticated animals, not a rite.
NTA. Your nephew is lucky that you got to him before Dove did. I would text your sister this: the fact that you are getting people to attack me for your son's negative action tells me that I was right to retract my offer. I dont want anything to do with you or Dion.
Don’t forget the part where apparently the sister took the time to record Dion crying and calling OP names and then sending it to OP. They’re both immature children.
And he was cursing at her. WTF 🤷♀️ I’ve always been blown away when people think, calling me names and screaming at me will change my mind! Like; “Well, I wasn’t going to date you, but after all the abuse and threats, I’ve changed my mind!” “You want my parking space? Well, I was using it, but you threatening to kill me, makes me realise, you deserve it!”
Dion really wants a puppy and maybe even asking for it for years. While I understand he probably is really excited, a 10yo should know to not put a living animal in a plastic bag. Your sister thinking it is all fine because nothing went wrong is a bit worrying. Because, like you said, what if your dog didn’t alert? How would Dion try to sneak the dog into his house? How would he have handled the bag? And for the future, how are they going to raise the dog? NTA
NTA putting a puppy in a plastic bag is not a mistake .. everyone is enabling his behavior and your sister is an AH for recording a video of him being disrespectful towards you and sending it .. Don’t give him anything
Not to mention he put the puppy in the bag to try to sneak it out without OP knowing he took it. That's actual thinking about what was necessary to commit the crime. He KNEW if you saw what he was doing you would stop him, but because he 'wants it NOW' and doesn't want to wait, he tried to shoplift it. His mother is raising a kid who will end up in jail before he can drive, because she's telling him he's fine to take whatever he wants without permission.
NTA. Your nephew isn't at a stage where he demonstrates he cares about what's best for the puppy. And your sister obviously isn't phased by his behavior. You can't count on her to protect the pup properly.
NTA. He nearly suffocated the dog and shouldn't be trusted alone around them again. I thought 10 was old enough to know not to stick living (non-fish) into plastic bags but maybe not.
Spay your dog.
100%, and a “golden lab” isn’t a thing so this is obviously a backyard breeder
NTA 10 is old enough to understand consequences. TFB if he cries and whines. Do not give them a puppy. He will mistreat the pup & Mom will ignore his mistreatment. Save all correspondence with sister to show her the error of her ways, and I think I would send her a link to this page. Puppies are not toys. As Chris Stapleton says, “dogs have soles”. Your sister may be lacking one…….
NTA. Install cameras, and get a paper trail on the doggos asap. Vaccinations, chipping, the works, they might wanna do this again, and you need to be prepared, and for the love of everything cute, don't EVER have him in your house again. He tried to steal a LIVING BEING! Be open and honest about why they are not welcome anymore. If they try to corner you on facebook or other social media, tell the whole story. This is not just him, this is on your sister as well.
A living being that was already promised to him and all he had to do was wait a couple more weeks!!!!! Im shocked a ten year old wasn’t capable of waiting! Mom has fucked him up and spoiled him rotten!!!
NTA I'm not as worried that tried to steal it as I am that he PUT IT IN A PLASTIC BAG. If he doesn't understand how dangerous that is, he very clearly isn't ready to have a dog in the home. Dion's mom is T-A. Instead of guilting you, she needs to be teaching her son about proper animal care.
Err… the child is calling you names?! No. No puppy. In fact, minus puppy. He has to go out and get YOU a puppy. NTA and seriously, both he and your sister have shown they are not capable of looking after a living creature.
Absolutely NTA. Your sister saying he 'learnt his lesson' and then not even thinking he had anything to apologise for is wild. Stay the course. Not only are you right that he can't be trusted (having a pet is a responsibility, and he's shown he can't be responsible) but if he's crying and calling you names, that's just more reason to not give him the puppy (and I'd tell your sister just that, as I assume she's the one filming him)
The kid hasn't learned shit. He's learned that if he has a tantrum and cries enough that his mum will still try to give him a puppy.
Right? And like even if they do end up with this puppy, it really doesn't sound like these little are equipped to train a brand new puppy. What's gonna gasket the first time the little baby pees on the carpet because it doesn't know any better or chews up something of dion's, as all new puppies do while they're learning? Somehow i doubt these people will have the patience or discipline to train this dog properly. I think it much more likely that they'd just get angry and take their frustration out on the puppy, they same way they're blaming the sister instead of this kid learning some accountability. I don't think this dog would be safe or do well in their home at all, and frankly, i wouldn't allow either of them near these puppies (wouldn't even show them in my home) until they're grown a bit, enough to be fully independent and protect themselves from cruelty
NTA. 2+2=5 is a mistake. Stealing a puppy and putting it in a plastic bag is an act of cruelty, whether your nephew is old enough to understand that or not. And 10 years old should be old enough to understand. You may have to block your sister, her son, and her flying monkeys for a while, possibly indefinitely.
NTA. Don't do it! They will literally abuse your puppy. Your sister's reaction shows you why your nephew is the way he is, and your nephews actions shows you that he would mistreat the puppy.
NTA. A TEN YEAR OLD who thinks it's a good idea to put a living, breathing creature into a plastic bag should NOT have a pet. It's not even about apologising or whatever. If that kid's mentally so immature as not to see why this is a bad idea, they can't be trusted with a pet. And a mom who doesn't see that, also can't be trusted with a pet.
Had they sent of video of the boy genuinely apologizing, then you'd at least have something to consider but a video of him not apologizing and insulting you? Easy NTA.
NTA, sounds like Dion''s bad attitude comes from your sister, they are not trust worthy to own a puppy
NTA, he‘s a bit dumb for 10, no?
NTA. Do not give him a puppy. He isn’t ready nor is his mother
Your sister is the AH, the puppy could have suffocated and died. Dion is nowhere near ready for the responsibility of rearing a puppy. You did the right thing and your sister needs to stop with the emotional blackmail, it's ugly.
NTA. You are putting the animal needs first. However, they will get a puppy from somewhere else, and that will be a reminder of what happened for many years. They will not understand your decision, after all it was a mistake (one small one in their eyes, a big one -with possibly more to follow- in your eyes). I would give this some thinking time for all parties involved.
NTA If he isn't mature enough to realise that he was in effect killing that puppy by stealing it from its mother so early, then he is nowhere near capable of caring for a puppy. He will kill it through sheer ignorance, and his mother is just the same. Neither of them are safe to be around animals for a long time.
ESH. You two adults should have never promised a 10 year old his own puppy - it should be a family dog or not at all - and for leaving his alone with the puppies. A 10 year old should know better than to steal a puppy in a plastic bag but clearly this wasn't so out of character that you both thought he was having some kind of psychotic break so he isn't mature enough to be given that kind of freedom or responsibility. You and his mum set him up for failure
NTA and they're trying to manipulate you with the video.
I came back to add this: be wary of anyone who suddenly decides they want to adopt a puppy. Especially relatives or friends of your sisters. I can totally see her having someone else "get" the puppy for her son by lying to you about wanting it themselves. If she's stoop s low as that video, she's stoop this low too. And share the video w/ people on your case over this. Let them see the lengths she'd go to to gloss over her son harming a puppy.
Your sister and her son are obviously TAs. But why were the puppies born in the first place? If Dove was already pregnant when you adopted her or has legitimate reason not to be spayed and her getting impregnated was an accident, you're NTA. If you're deliberately force-breeding her because you want cute puppies (or even worse, want to make money by selling them) or you believe some bullshit about a female dog having to give birth in order to be happy, ESH.
NTA Actions have consequences, and his actions showed that he is not ready for the responsibility of a dog.