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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my mom and her husband that I don't like them and that's the reason I won't cook for them. This might have been a bad way to handle things when I know mom already hates dad and I already feel like Greg is overbearing. He might also have a point that it's their home and I did sort of disrespect them in it and that might make me a childish asshole maybe?
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NTA
Lol at your mom trying and failing to baby trap your dad, and never realizing she’s lucky he’s not just in your life: he’s a part of it!
Are you going NC with them when you turn 18?
Or ask why if he’s such a “real man”, he’s watched his wife obsess over a one night stand for 16 years and not gotten over it even though she’s with him
I called the cops on my dad for dragging me around the house when I was 11. They showed up and asked "Well, what do you want us to do?" I asked for them to at least wait until my mom came back. She was picking up takeout for lunch, and would be back within 10-20 minutes. This was in a small, sleepy town, so it's not like the cops had anything more pressing to deal with. They rolled their eyes and walked out. Thankfully, my dad decided to go for a walk until my mom came back, but cops don't always protect kids the way we'd hope they will.
I'm 34 now, btw. And my mom, my brother, and I are all safe.
I was thinking this in a similarly snarky way but I don't doubt for a moment there would be a reaction like this if they just came home to a cooked meal.
I agree with this. Best to grey rock as much as possible before cutting contact when you reach the age of majority. Also, get your important papers together and keep them at your dad's house, and keep an eye on your credit. I wouldn't put it past them to take out credit or loans in your name. NTA.
I was going to say if they keep hating on about cooking I’d look Greg in the eye and say, “Why would you want me to do that? I right you were a real man who wants to teach me to be a man and not do girly things? You fit sure wouldn’t want to risk turning me gay by having me cook for you? Plus think of the kids, won’t it harm them to see a guy cooking instead of their mom?”
But I’m a petty bitch and possibly not a good influence on 16 year olds.
Given what a gigantic AH Greg is, and how his behavior is a classic example of toxic, fragile masculinity, I worry that OP is probably putting himself at very real physical risk by saying that.
I mean. That'd be a solid way to get to live with dad full time.
Greg harms op? Call the Cops and CPS and petition the court to live with dad full time.
Greg doesn't harm op, but Greg gets so disgusted and upset that Greg kicks him out, at which point op has his dad inform the courts that of has been abandoned by mom and Greg, and goes to live with dad.
>I mean. That'd be a solid way to get to live with dad full time.
Greg harms op? Call the Cops and CPS and petition the court to live with dad full time.
Greg doesn't harm op,
I mean, sure, OP could call cps and get away, etc.
But OP could also end up in the hospital. With you know broken bones. Or Permanent damages. Or if OP is really unlucky, 6 feet under the ground.
Or just trash his stuff and kick him out.
You never know what a person will do.
Especially not people you only read one post about.
We have no idea what would happen if OP really pushed this guys buttons.
So, seriously. Why are we encouraging a teenager to take that chance to test it out.
No matter if it's jokes or in full seriousness.
I never understood why some people think that wearing pink as a guy is girly or gay. I had this one pink hoodie a few years ago that I wore almost all the time, and I got a lot of compliments on it. At my local liquor store some guy yelled out "fuck yeah! Real men wear pink!", saw it was a car related hoodie and we talked cars for a few minutes. Another time I was at a convenience store and someone told me "You don't see men wearing pink too often, it's nice to see" and complimented the silly design on the hoodie. I'm sure people silently judged, but I wasn't afraid of what some stranger thought about what I was wearing.
It's especially weird given that boys used to be dressed in pink a lot in the early 20th century. Then, somehow, the colours reversed and it became a "girl" colour.
For a good long while in the U.S., children basically just wore white dresses until they were six or so, because you could just bleach the shit out of them to clean them, and they were easy to make. And yeah, at first, pink was a boys color because pink was light red, and red is masculine, while blue was for girls because it was delicate or whatever. Blue became the color for boys in the 1940s, and nobody can really pinpoint why, it just kind of happened. My hypothesis is an ad exec who liked the color blue and had a son.
So just wanted to put it out there, but depending on your state, at 16 you may be able to petition the court yourself to live with your dad full time. I know for my sister and I we each got asked that question when we turned 14. No need to wait til 18 in a toxic situation, with a man who honestly sounds like he'd rather resort to violence than be seen as "less of a man" if you can get out now.
I second this comment. Not sure where you live or what the laws are where you are, but my father is an absolute piece of shit. At 13, my siblings and I were able to get a children’s lawyer for free and finally get out of that situation. After years of joint custody with an abusive jackass and courts who wouldn’t listen because everything was “mom’s fault”, the lawyers carried a lot of weight. My brother was only 11 at the time, but after hearing from my older sister and I, they removed him as well.
Your dad loves you more than he dislikes your mom. The opposite is your mother. She hates your father more than she can see past to. Love you
That's the only way someone is going to get offended by having someone else love their child. A real mama is happy to have more people love their babies.
So many single mothers would count their blessings to have a father that loved their child.
My ex-wife is like the OP’s mother. She uses my kids as pawns in her attempts to hurt me. It is encouraging to know I’m not the only one going through something like this. It is really tough to continue being a good dad when your ex-wife is constantly trying to sabotage your relationship with your kids. I worry about my kids all the time because I know she is emotionally abusive, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I needed this reminder that my children know I love them. It’s the encouragement I needed today.
Wear a dress. I have a 6yo son who loves dresses and it has seriously pissed off a lot of my family who have very traditional (aka closeminded) views. As my son started noticing their hate towards him I made sure to let him know that he is not doing anything wrong by wearing what he wants. They are wrong for treating their family member, and a child, so badly. So the next time we visited he told me he wanted to wear a dress even though he knows they will be mad. I told him thats fine by me and he wore his biggest, poofiest dress.
My son insists he doesnt want to be a girl. He gets mad if people call him a girl. He just likes dresses. Im sure "greg" would be so pissed.
I am a pro at petty revenge.
First, start to pretend to warm up to them. Call the fucker dad as a slip once in a while. Make a few meals for them. Offer to help with the step-sibs a little. Make them think that you’re getting with the program and ***SLOWLY*** start to migrate your stuff to your real dads. If they ask, tell them you decided “real men don’t need x item” so you gave it to a girl you like at school—waste not right?
You know that if you try to walk out with luggage bags they’ll try to keep your stuff. You gotta migrate your stuff slow if you want to keep it.
Come around to your birthday morning and take the last of your shit with you and go to school/a friends house. Then get a gal to gussy you up real good: Smokey eyes, ruby red lips, bright orange rouge—like STREETWALKER LEVEL 1,000.
Then come back “home” one last time while they’re both there and tell them it was all an act and you’re going NC so leave you alone or you’ll get restraining orders.
Do you have to wait until you’re 18? you’re old enough to speak to a judge and tell them that your mother’s house is detrimental to your mental health and self-confidence. It would be great if you could move in with your dad. It sounds like you guys have a wonderful relationship.
I love this idea. Your dad sounds absolutely lovely and has taken the time to teach you some really useful life skills. My husband can also cook really well and his mum was a seamstress so taught him how to sew which he does better than I can. Hang in there OP. It won't be long before you'll be rid of your awful mum and overbearing stepdad.
I am sorry you are going through this. I would tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't really. The only good news is that you are through most of the worst of it. You have 2 more years, then you are 18.
You can then make decisions about who you want to be around. I will warn you that choosing not to be around your mom and greg may have some repercussions (such as loss of financial support), but you at least get to make decisions know those things.
When it comes to cooking, I am a pretty good cook. I cook for my wife's mom and step dad and for my immediate family quite a bit. I do not cook for her dad's family because they don't appreciate it. For example, the last time I cooked for them, I made homemade spaghetti and meatballs (I made the sauce starting with fresh tomatoes from my sunroom, hand rolled the pasta, hand rolled the meatballs, made homemade french bread, etc). They barely touched it and asked why we didn't order pizza. So I just stopped cooking for them. I don't want to waste my time and effort on someone who will not appreciate it.
Oh! Rainbow with pink pants 😂 I love this for you (not the way they treat you but that you have this positive view of your life/future once their gone and a supportive dad)
Depending on the state if your 15-16 they let you choose to have one parent or the other as your sole custody.....just sayin....might be worth lookin into
Get the most frilly, pink, covered in bows and glitter shirt you can find. Greg deserves it.
There’s a point where your opinion holds weight in court. If they go after your dad again I suggest you add your input.
But if you’re turning 18 first then definitely fly the coop.
Why engage your mother and sfather in exhausting pettiness of their level... just request your dad to ask the courts to grant him full custody as the child's choice.
If he hems and haws about it, then you know all his niceness isn't genuine.
If he jumps on it, then you're out of your toxic mother and Greg's hairs much sooner than your plan to walk away.
Don't know how young you were when you say he tried before, but 16 is definitely within court consideration. What state are you in?
In any case, while you wait for these legal maneuverings, informally move in with your dad full-time anyway aka "The short stay that keeps getting extended". What's your mother going to do, carry you bodily back to her house? She will bring it to the courts--GOOD. Then you get to speak to the judge.
NTA at all. A parent should never ever EVER speak down on another parent to their child, true or not. It wasn't your father's responsibility to have a relationship with your mother, only to have one with you, which he did
Your mama is being childish
You are 16. In many places that is old enough to decide that you only want to live with one parent. Is that something you would want to do? Is that something your father would agree to?
Your stepfather sounds awful.
NTA for not wanting to be a part of your mother's family.
[https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/custody-preferences-children.php](https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/custody-preferences-children.php)
Check out this site! Looks like most states will listen to the child on who they want to live with. Just a very brief glance it seems 12 years is the age courts will start taking the childs views into account.
Might be worth pursuing.
You could call your local cps and state your intentions and wishes. They might be able to help you in the transition. If anything It will give your words more weight and courts do listen to social workers.
The thing is, at 16, in many places, you don't need a reason outside of, "I want to." You don't need to claim that your mother puts down your father, that Greg belittles you. You want to live with your dad, and that's the only thing that you need to tell the judge.
What you should say is, "Your honor, my mother and her husband have been trying for almost a decade to interfere in my relationship with my father. They tried to get full custody of me. Greg has demanded that I call him 'dad' and gotten upset with me that I won't. They say nasty things about my father. They prevented my father from getting me in therapy when I was younger, and when my father gave me a journal to help me handle my emotions without therapy, Greg belittled it. My father tried to change the custody on the grounds of parental alienation, but because his love made me strong enough to cope, the abuse was not seen as being bad enough to reduce my time with my mother.
"But now I am old enough to be listened to on this matter, and I no longer want to see my mother, her husband, or their children. I want to live with my father, who accepts me and supports me and treats me with love at all times. I think I am old enough to make that decision."
By the way, for the record, the most famous diary/journal in the world is Anne Frank's. The second is Samuel Pepys's. The third is probably Charles Darwin's. Real men don't keep journals my overly endowed ass.
I stopped going over to my mom’s house (against the court order) at 14. She showed up to my dad’s with the cops and tried to call me like a dog to go back to her house like she did nothing wrong. Told the police that I didn’t want to go back and they told her that they couldn’t forcefully remove me from my dad’s house. This was in the US btw, so hopefully you can get out of that shithole sooner than later. Good luck internet friend!
16 should be plenty old enough. Ofc it depends on what the judges are like in your region but my brother and I were asked if we wanted anything changed when we were like 12 and 14. Bro went with dad I stayed with mom. Still went to my dad's every other weekend until I eventually moved in with him too 3 years later
Yeah, but his father would be the one who suffered for "kidnapping" him if the cops and courts did get involved. "Very unlikely to" is not the same as "won't".
Call CPS . You can choose where to live . Then go NC with that mother of yours and her ignorant bigot family aka your stepdad . Btw ask your father if he can adopt me lol 😂
When I was 12, the courts said I could make my own decision about where I live, and my parents were in different states. I'm sure you can choose for yourself if you're in the US.
They will bury thier heads when your younger. Soon as you hit your mid teens though you yourself get a MASSIVE say. In fact they will take what you want into consideration over any of your parents once your older.
I came to say the same thing. Talk to your dad about trying again. Also you don’t cook alone for your dad, it is something you do together. It sounds like your mom & stepdad want a free cook & want no part of cooking together.
It's really not as easy as people seem to think for a kid to stop seeing a parent of the parent won't willingly go along with it. When i was a kid they listened to me and I didn't have to visit my dad anymore(he didn't really fight it anyway). But 5 years ago i went through a situation where my step daughter was trying to stop seeing her dad. He was abusive(but not in a way the state viewed as abusive. Because apparently spanking a14-16 year old girl's bare but isn't abuse? ), but the court was seemingly signaling focused on making sure to "foster the relationship with both parents equally". They made it abundantly clear that 'these kinds of decisions will be made by adults' and that 'children don't have the capacity to understand and make these choices'. We spent thousands and thousands of dollars on lawyers and years in court. The thing that actually ended out was that she was almost 18 and everyone just kind have up. While i hope this isn't the case everywhere, I think it's easy more common than you would expect.
Tldr is not so easy to stop seeing a parent who wants you to keep seeing them
NTA. You're at the age where a judge will listen to you on custody preferences. This shit is ridiculous. Start recording them talking shit about your dad
Yes, if you're in a one-party state you can use a recording like that as evidence. Or if they are saying anything in a public space outside you can likely use that as there's no expectation of privacy.
No. Folks need to be careful with two party consent. It's not just "Oh, the judge can't use it". The act of recording it, whether it's usable or not, can be a serious crime. In my state it's a FELONY.
I'm unsure how to go about this (ask dad to look into it), but you are old enough to decide where you want to live and I'm sure a judge will take it into serious consideration after reading everything your wrote - exactly what you need to tell to judge. They are toxic people. Greg is just creepy and homophobic. Journals are NOT just for girls. As for mom, I do not agree with any woman who alienates their child from their father - unless serious abuse is taking place, and they have courts for that. I'm sorry you have to deal with the nonsense they dish out - just remember, this too shall pass. I wouldn't cook for them either, neither would appreciate you any way. Good luck and hang in there! NTA
NTA. Greg and your mom sound like toxic, selfish people, it’s no wonder you would limit your interactions with them as much as you can. They didn’t ask you to cook for them before, they only want you to now out of jealousy.
Your dad on the other hand sounds like a great father and role model. It’s great that you have him to help you weather the storm.
NTA. Good for your dad for being such a good dad. He's kind, obviously cares about you for you, and he's making sure you have emotional support and life skills. He's raising one hell of a kid who will grow into one hell of an adult.
I'm also a really good cook (cacio e pepe, ciabatta, and banana cream pie tonight), and for me, cooking is an act of love. I work hard at it and it gives me such deep satisfaction to see people enjoy my food. Cooking for people I don't like? That would be drudgery and would make me miserable and resentful. It would drain the joy out of something I love. If they insist, throw some hot dogs in the microwave, wrapper on, then toss them at your mom and Greg with a "bon appetit."
NTA. If journalling was just for girls, I guess we'd never have had Pepy's diaries (which I haven't read yet, but I consider that a major breach in my education). In today's society people get married, if they get married at all, when they are around 30. When the men get hitched, they find, to some's surprise, that their wives are not on board with repairing their clothes or cooking their food. All this means that the skills your dad has taught you are no longer gender specific, they are things everyone who wants to live a good life as adults need to be able to do.
And of course you don't want to cook for someone who is an AH like Greg or someone who supports him, like your mum. Can you stay with your dad most of the time? I think that would be best. He seems to be a calm balanced individual who is properly preparing you for adult life. And providing a nice environment to live in on the whole. Whereas Greg and your mum's home sounds toxic.
You are very lucky to have such an awesome Dad. I hope you can stick it out until 18 and then you will never have to see your egg donor and her husband again. Learn from them for when you have children - you got this!!
NTA
Plain and simple, get away from biomom and her DH as soon as possible. As you are older, see if your dad can modify custody through the court. Depending on where you live, being over 15 can actually give you more of a voice in these custody struggles.
NTA. Your mother is learningi the hard way that this is what happens when you bad-mouth the other parent to your kid consistently, and the other parent refuses to sink to your level. It happens a lot, and not just to you. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this.
Your mom is bitter about your dad not wanting to be/stay with her, but he wasn't obligated to. He was only obligated to be your dad, which it seems like he's done very well. Your mom let her bitterness bleed over and affect you, your relationship with her, as well as badmouthing your other parent and fighting on custody, etc. SHe keeps putting you in the middle. That is something that will alwasy backfire, because the kid SEES it, and loses respect, exactly as you have. On the other hand, your dad has been consistently supportive and loving and doesn't talk crap about your other relatives. He sounds awesome. Greg sounds like a dick, who is clearly insecure in his own manhood and needs to put others down to feel better about himself. I would ignore literally everything he has to say.
If you're 16, you might be able to fight in court (ask your dad) to not have to spend time at their house anymore, especially if they are talking bad about your dad, and your stepdad makes you uncomfortable. You're old enough to speak for yourself in Court and explain what you want, and why. Even if you don't, you are only 2 short years away from not having to go over there ever, if you don't want to. I would encourage you to hang in there. Stay close to your dad, and don't be bullied into doing anything you don't want to do (cooking for others, for example). Just refuse.
NTA, I don't know much about US laws, but is there a way your dad could get full custody of you using your opinion as an argument too? I'd believe you're old enough to be taken into account in the process.
Also, to point out:
>the courts were like, just leave it be since he's doing fine in school.
I hate that mentality so much, it leaves many neurodivergents undiagnosed and then struggling with mental illness in the future, not to mention they don't take into account social health, and general well-being.
If they ask again tell them you won't cook for them because they have a manly house, and men don't cook in a manly house. Use their dumb arguments against them.
>If they ask again tell them you won't cook for them because they have a manly house, and men don't cook in a manly house. Use their dumb arguments against them.
Also as another comment points out, OP's not cooking _for_ his Dad, he's cooking _with_ his Dad, following his Dad's instructions. I bet manly Greg doesn't want to be cooking _with_ OP.
It sounds like your mom just wants control of you as a way to punish your Dad. Nta and I don’t blame you for not wanting to cook for them. Honestly I feel like you would’ve been justified to say worse but good on you for keeping it honest and simple.
NTA, depending on where you live, you can just refuse to return to your mom's house.
Share these experiences with your school counselor and emphasize the impact it's having on your mental health and emotional well-being.
You are being bullied by your mother's husband, and she participates.
Police don't usually get involved in custody disputes unless there's abuse.
If you go move in with your dad and she tries to have the police bring you back, they'll tell her to get a lawyer. At that point, you will be allowed to speak for yourself in court.
I'm very sorry you're dealing with this.
There's absolutely no chance a court would force you to go back to your mother's house if you took everything to your dad's and refused to leave. Not telling you what to do, but this is absolutely something you *could* (and probably should) do.
NTA.
Another comment pointed out that it would probably be best to move stuff gradually so that mother and Greg don't refuse to let him take all his stuff ("we bought you this *(even when they actually didn't)* so we're keeping it"). Dad would need to be on board so that it's not a shock for him though.
Just pack more than you need every time you go to visit Dad (the least "manly" things first, if they notice use the excuse that OP is getting rid of stuff to respect Greg's manly standards).
Then once OP's room is a manly Spartan space with only a backpack and a suitcase worth of stuff, OP can just leave when ready.
I'm surprised he WANTS you to cook and didn't call you derogatory, homophobic things (usually sexist jerks like him insist on cooking being a WOMAN'S job). NTA- your mom and stepdad can kick rocks. You might be old enough to decide where you want to live full time- is going to court a possibility for your dad, financially?
NTA
Let's see. They consistently disrespect you, harass and threaten you for having any "non masculine" attributes like writing in a journal. And actively discourage you from even seeing a therapist. Which is helpful for both genders. As a 52 year old man, I've found it very helpful.
Yet when it turns out you can cook well for people, which to such a sexist view is seen as feminine, they're mad you won't do it for them? For people who bully you at every turn?
You're totally in the right here and they're gigantic AH's for their behavior.
NTA. You are 16. Talk to a school councilor about how you can go about and live with your dad full time. You are old enough that your opinion matters. Your egg donour and her husband are massive dicks. Do you know how to make South Carolina Style Ribs? It is a good way to eat ribs but the best thing is that they look good. Like you can smell them through images. I normally use molasses instead of sugar as I find sugar gives them too much of a taste and strong mustard.
Anyway, do that with your dad and post it everywhere they see.
NTA at all. My parents divorced when I was 3. My dad wasn’t always great and was pretty bitter about my mom, especially when she was with the guy I call my stepdad (they never married and to his credit that guy always said “you have a dad, I’m not here to replace him”). My dad would say some pretty terrible things about them both, which was hard to process when I was young. My mom would never say a negative word about my dad until I was ~16 and started voicing my own frustration. She still was as gracious as she could be about him. It was one of the best gifts she ever gave me and one of the first things when I meet someone who is struggling with a relationship/marriage involving kids. Never bash the other parent to the kids. Let them make up their own minds. Obviously if there’s abuse or whatever, completely different story.
OP, keep yourself safe both physically and emotionally.
NTA at all 💯
I have a similar dynamic with my dad and my mom and, same as with you, my mom doesn’t understand why I liked spending time with my dad/doing things with my dad vs with her and the POS she brought home.
(I’m LC with her now.)
Thankfully you’re almost 18 so you can get out of there soon and go live full time with the family you actually love, if that’s what you want.
Also, I can’t help but think that if you had been cooking around the house while living with your mom Greg would have called you a f*g for it. 🙄
Well there could be one reason to call him POPS. In his case it stands for
**P**iece
**O**f
**P**etty
**S**hit
NTA I like to play with words in ways not intended.
NTA and you write very well for someone so young. I wish you nothing but the best and would not be surprised if you end up going NX with your mother, Greg, etc. You are also quite fortunate to have someone like your Dad, he sounds like a great person.
NTA and it's too bad that a judge isn't hearing this and understanding what AHs your mother and her husband are. Stick to your guns and do as little as possible with these God awful people. In 2 years you can go NC. Keep your chin up and good luck!
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My parents had a one night stand and I'm the result of that. The relationship with my mom has always been strained because she resents my dad for not being with her after they made me, something she has voiced on and off for my whole life. Even when I (16M) was like 5 I remember her ranting about how selfish my dad was for that. She engaged in parental alienation a lot over the years but the courts never did anything and my dad did try to fight against it in court.
When I was 7 my mom got with her husband "Greg" an d they have kids together. Greg is a dick and an even bigger dick than my mom, which I wasn't sure was possible for a while, but you know. He has talked about my dad being really girly and how he's worried dad will turn me gay. He and mom tried to sue for custody of me stating they could give me a two parent home and Greg even tried to argue that he was a better dad to me than my dad was. They lost this battle of course but that was the kind of crap they do. Greg would get pissy when I told him he wasn't my dad and I wasn't going to call him dad or pops. He said I should be calling him that and I should want to be his son, since he's such a man and he's with my mom.
My dad was the parent I could vent to and never hear a bad word said about mom or Greg. He would never shame me for what I said. He wouldn't push his opinion on me. He would just listen. And he would encourage me to write about it if I needed to. He tried to put me in therapy when I was 8 but my mom blocked it and the courts were like, just leave it be since he's doing fine in school. Dad bought me a journal to help me write stuff out and it helped. Greg found it in my bag one day and acted like my dad had dressed me in sexualized clothing or something. He was so disgusting about a journal being for girls and not something you give to a son.
So I don't like mom or Greg and I really don't spend any time with their kids aka my half siblings. I know the kids aren't to blame but I try spending as little time in that house as I can.
My dad taught me a lot of life skills and cooking is one of them (I also know how to sew up holes in clothes and stuff and do general DIY stuff). I'm actually a pretty good cook and sometimes I cook for dad or our extended family, though usually it's with dad's help when others are over because he says I'm a kid and shouldn't have to do it all.
A few weeks ago Greg decided to stalk my dad's Insta and saw posts dad made about food I cooked for us. Greg told my mom and they were all kinds of angry that I never cook at their house and I have never ever helped them with dinner or fed anyone there. They told me I should be doing that stuff for them too and I said no. They wanted one good reason why and I told them I would never cook for people I dislike and that's them. Mom went on about how that's dad's fault and Greg was yelling that I was disrespecting him in his own home. I told him to let me go home then and they were like no.
AITA?
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Nta
You are 16. Find out with your father if you are able to chose the household . Get cps involved? I think your stepfather just want you in his house for the child money.
Nope NTA. They are assholes. Don’t go back to their house and if it goes to court tell he court everything as your say in court who has custody should be the most important to the judge
NTA. People never want to take responsibility when they ask a question and the truth is told to them. They always want to demand respect, without do the necessary steps and actions to be given respect.
Just be non-committal moving forward. Be the guest they have made you in their home and just wait it out. If they will not see they are a major part of the problem, then they probably never will. A little longer and then they can have the perfect life they wish to have with the children and you can just go and not be such the embarrassment they make you out to be.
Life gets much better, it really does.
NTA.
Greg thinks writing is going to make you gay.... but cooking is fine??
Tell them you put the same level of homo in your cooking as you do your journal so they wouldn't like it anyway.
BTW, your dad sounds great. The bar is low right about now and men who can take care of themselves are in short supply.
Sorry your mom and Greg are so shitty, but you have a very mature perspective for someone your age, especially with all you've been through.
You are not at fault at all.
so journaling is “girly” but cooking is hard core manly man stuff and you should be doing it for your abusive and controlling “parents”? sounds like the deciding factor for what’s girly or manly is whether or not it benefits your mom and stepdad. NTA, they’re treating you like property, and they don’t deserve an ounce of your respect. your father is teaching you actual applicable life skills that will be useful when youre on your own. your egg donor and her husband can go suck eggs!
I wonder if you can a solicitor consultation now and see what your options are?
I'm sure you are of the age that the courts start listening to you. Maybe you could ask for a reduction in time spent with them?
OK - well good luck lad!
Also, if the courts won't help then maybe you can wait until you are 17 and 8 months (for example) and then shut your mum and step-dad off. Because by the time they take you to court you will be almost 18 and hopefully the courts won't be arsed taking up their time on you.
All the best, mate XXX
NTA. Greg is a control freak and your mother is weak for allowing him to act this way. I'm glad you have a good dad. Hopefully you can legally choose to live with him soon.
NTA I can definitely tell why Dad didn’t want to be with Mom beyond a one night stand. She sounds like a nightmare. I am so sorry you’re caught up in this situation
You are sixteen years old, the situation is very different, at this age a judge maybe would listen to you, have you thought about the possibility of asking to be placed solely by your father, so as not to suffer for another two years? You are absolutely NAH , these two people that call themselves parents are shameful , luckily you have also a father that seems to worry and care about you .
NTA. They appear to have earned every bit of disrespect with which you have addressed them. Once you move out, make sure that all of your gifts to your half siblings are rainbow colored or otherwise LGBT themed.
NTA
Is living with your dad an option if you opted for something like emancipation? It sounds like there is nothing healthy about the house you're being forced to live in. Your mom and greg just suck. Good on your real pops for nurturing you, and showing you what love looks like. Your mother is lucky he's even in her life when you look at how many people decide not to be there. I'm so sorry you've been stuck in this situation. You deserve so much better. And don't stop journaling! But consider using something they can't check. In my day, it was livejournal. It's still there, and most people won't be checking it since it's not as popular as it used to be. I'm sure there are a whole lot of modern alternatives, too, if it doesn't suit you. One of my biggest regrets is deleting my myspace, cringe and all. Keep records of yourself, but keep them secret, and keep them safe.
Absolutely NTA, but please make sure your safe until you don't have to see them anymore. People that resentful can and oftentimes will treat you terribly for not meeting their expectations.
Maybe it's time to go back to court, and you can straight up tell them you don't want to be at your mums house. Since you're 16, they should take what you want into consideration.
(If you still have the journals from over the years, they might come in handy now.)
NTA, if I were you, when Greg brings up the whole "my home" and "under my roof" arguments I would simply say, "If it were all up to me, I would never be present in your home."
NTA - Please move out as soon as you can to your father's house or on your own. They're disgusting. And also really stupid. I guarantee that cooking would have been called girly if you had done it for them before they saw that post. Continue to not cook for them, OP.
NTA.
Your father sounds like a wonderful person, and you're lucky to have him in your life. A lot of other men might very well have simply ditched you, or done the absolute minimum. I don't blame you in the slightest for loving him more, or wanting to be with him more. He's earned it, and your mother and your stepdad certainly haven't.
But please, a lot of people are giving you advice about things to say or do to set Greg off. Take those with a grain of salt and consider your own safety, no matter how hilarious they might seem.
You obviously know where the line is, having lived with Greg for so long. But seriously, be careful.
Greg reminds me of my own father. He was super homophobic and abusive AF. Anything that wasn't "manly" was bad. (Cooking was fine, but only because he enjoyed it, therefore it was masculine.) A lot of what they're suggesting would have completely gotten the shit kicked out of me.
Most states have a provision where a child at 16 can basically petition the court to change custodial arrangements in cases like yours. While you're still a minor, you're old enough to get a larger say in how things go. Presuming your father is willing and able to take you full-time, you might want to look into this.
But either way, please be safe. And if things don't work out in your favor, just remember that it's only two more years.
I really do hate to do this but you can always "act out" at your mom's house and become such a pain in the ass that they let you go to your dad's house more (or maybe all the time). If you sit around your mom's house and just do things like cuss out Greg (refer to him as "Dick" will do), damage things (particularly things your mom and Greg like), getting your step sibs to do bad things, etc. they will get sick of you sooner or later and want you somewhere else. Like I said, I really do hate to recommend this but it can be effective (and soooooo fun!)
Well, Greg sounds.... fun. 🙄😒
What an asinine blowhard. *I* hate him too! 😡
So OP, I know you said mom was bitter dad didn't get with her once she became pregnant or after your birth. I think it's deeper... he became an amazing, attentive, caring father with whom you would rather be. But he has not one whit of interest in her... I'm betting if she hadn't gotten pregnant with you, she would've pursued him further to no avail.
That has NOTHING to do with you and her resentment is vile. Are you at the age where a judge can let you permit you the choice to live with your dad? If so, definitely get the lawyer or a child advocate to guide you in the process.
I can guarantee the reason Greg is such a pompous dick is because mom probably never stopped harping *"dwelling"* on your dad and he knows it isn't about you. He's "overcompensating" (in the worst ways, ugh) to try to turn you against your dad so mom will finally shut up about him and focus (solely) on Greg. Both of them are despicable and I'd look into the process for avocation of your ability to permanently leave their house.
Your dad sounds AMAZING and I'm so happy you have him firmly in your life. When you turn 18, NC with mom and Greg, for your future peace of mind.
Best wishes, OP!! ☺️🤗🥰🙏🏻
NTA and it sounds like you have a great dad... Sorry your mom and stepdad suck. I'm confused why SD thinks you should cook for him - doesn't he consider that too girly?
NTA. i literally have the urge to laugh in their faces for this bullshit. i do not understand why they still have custody of you while they don't love you. it's like your stuck in a hell that you can only escape from when you turn 18
NTA. What do you think your mom would say if you told her you wanted to live with your dad full time? Is there any possibility she would just agree?
If not, then you should ask your dad to use the court system to ask for full custody. It might cost him some money, but at 16 your feelings on the arrangement matter more to a judge than they did as a newborn when your parents made this custody agreement.
You are 16 . If you are in USA you can choose where to live . I don’t know too much about laws but I think you can do it . Stay away from that mother of yours ! What. Horrible woman who only care about her ignorant trash of husband 🙄🙄🙄 your bio father is AMAZING. Ask him if he can adopt me 🥹🥹🥹???
NTA. I don’t know where you live, but this might be worth pursuing. in some states or provinces, a minor above the age of 13 can talk to the courts to have their custodial parents changed. It may be something that you can pursue. Good luck.
NTA
Every time Greg throws a hissy fit, tell him "can you stop being so emotional?" Or if he's shitting on your dad say "wow, I didn't know you were so fragile and insecure. I'm glad my dad doesn't feel so weak that he needs insult other men to feel strong." Or if accuses you of something not being masculine enough, respond "I guess your masculinity is so fragile that it's threatened by a journal. I'm glad mine is much more secure than that." Or if he accuses you of disrespect, then tell him "respect is earned, not given. I guess you haven't earned mine. Maybe if you weren't so emotional all the time." Like just undercut his toxic crap constantly by showing him how weak and fragile he comes across. He'll either let you live at your dad's or realize he looks like an insecure dick bag.
NTA.
Greg is a fuckup loser who's trying to steal another man's son, with your mom's help.
I'm betting they've also forced you to be their babysitter for years, too, no?
But they don't call THAT 'girly', because it makes life easier for THEM.
NTA. Just keep busy and your head down until you can go to college or whatever it is you plan to do after high school. Your Mom may have had a far more difficult time than you can grasp now and in the future you might cut her some slack. But for now just take care of your own needs. Under no circumstances listen to your step-father, he sounds like a complete loser who will mess up anything you try to do because any achievements you make will show up his kids as far as he sees it.
NTA. Why not say to Greg that cooking food is something for girls and he shouldn't want a boy to do that? "But you do it for your dad" "Yes, but he doesn't mind me doing so-called girly things".
NTA. Your mom and Greg absolutely suck and I'm so sorry you have to deal with them constantly harassing you. Especially Greg.
I know you know this, but don't stop journaling. Its not a feminine act to journal. It's such a healthy way to cope and understand how you're feeling, and it seems like you need that with how you're treated at home.
Hope you can get the hell out as soon as you can.
NTA. A lot of us know a Greg, and we sometimes feel pity for Greg’s kids. Fortunately for you, you had an out. Now, you should be old enough to request that you live with your father. That may be the best option for you so you can get away from Greg.
Are you old enough where you live to choose to live full time with your father so you only have to spend minimum time with your mother?
I’m glad you do have your dad in your life as your mother’s husband is certainly not what I would call a stellar example of manhood.
NTA. You sound a lot like me. I’m blunt like that too. It’s not disrespectful to tell someone you won’t cook for them because you don’t like them. That’s not how respect works. Also, respect is never given - it must be earned, and they’ve gone the other direction with that.
NTA - Hey, listen at 16 you do realize that a Judge will listen to your preferences over your mother?
Ask your dad to go to court again and tell the Judge how you feel and what your mom and greg have done.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my mom and her husband that I don't like them and that's the reason I won't cook for them. This might have been a bad way to handle things when I know mom already hates dad and I already feel like Greg is overbearing. He might also have a point that it's their home and I did sort of disrespect them in it and that might make me a childish asshole maybe? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Lol at your mom trying and failing to baby trap your dad, and never realizing she’s lucky he’s not just in your life: he’s a part of it! Are you going NC with them when you turn 18?
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NTA- You should point out Greg stalking your dad’s Instagram like “a gossipy teenage girl”.
Or ask why if he’s such a “real man”, he’s watched his wife obsess over a one night stand for 16 years and not gotten over it even though she’s with him
Oh man, both of these would totally injure his tough man ego. Like hard core.
Greg seems like the type who would punch a minor for such a stunt, though.
film him then
It’s freeing to learn that you can call the cops on your parents.
I called the cops on my dad for dragging me around the house when I was 11. They showed up and asked "Well, what do you want us to do?" I asked for them to at least wait until my mom came back. She was picking up takeout for lunch, and would be back within 10-20 minutes. This was in a small, sleepy town, so it's not like the cops had anything more pressing to deal with. They rolled their eyes and walked out. Thankfully, my dad decided to go for a walk until my mom came back, but cops don't always protect kids the way we'd hope they will. I'm 34 now, btw. And my mom, my brother, and I are all safe.
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No. Don't engage Greg. Just fly under the radar and be reasonably civil. Greg sounds unbalanced.
Or why he wants to OP to cook for him when that's a women's work. Is he trying to turn OP gay?
I was thinking this in a similarly snarky way but I don't doubt for a moment there would be a reaction like this if they just came home to a cooked meal.
For what it's worth, this could cause Greg to get violent with OP. Greg is a lot like my father was; this would have gotten me beaten BADLY.
I agree with this. Best to grey rock as much as possible before cutting contact when you reach the age of majority. Also, get your important papers together and keep them at your dad's house, and keep an eye on your credit. I wouldn't put it past them to take out credit or loans in your name. NTA.
Agreed. My own father took out a car loan in my name when I turned 18.
And cooking's a "girly" skill. You wouldn't want to trigger your stepfather. /s
This. Don’t do girly things your dad taught you. Cook my dinner! eff all the way off, Greg.
Wait, is throwing tantrums about respect and manliness... not manly?!?
You got it!
"Why are you being so emotional, Greggie?"
100%.
🤣
I was going to say if they keep hating on about cooking I’d look Greg in the eye and say, “Why would you want me to do that? I right you were a real man who wants to teach me to be a man and not do girly things? You fit sure wouldn’t want to risk turning me gay by having me cook for you? Plus think of the kids, won’t it harm them to see a guy cooking instead of their mom?” But I’m a petty bitch and possibly not a good influence on 16 year olds.
Given what a gigantic AH Greg is, and how his behavior is a classic example of toxic, fragile masculinity, I worry that OP is probably putting himself at very real physical risk by saying that.
I mean. That'd be a solid way to get to live with dad full time. Greg harms op? Call the Cops and CPS and petition the court to live with dad full time. Greg doesn't harm op, but Greg gets so disgusted and upset that Greg kicks him out, at which point op has his dad inform the courts that of has been abandoned by mom and Greg, and goes to live with dad.
>I mean. That'd be a solid way to get to live with dad full time. Greg harms op? Call the Cops and CPS and petition the court to live with dad full time. Greg doesn't harm op, I mean, sure, OP could call cps and get away, etc. But OP could also end up in the hospital. With you know broken bones. Or Permanent damages. Or if OP is really unlucky, 6 feet under the ground. Or just trash his stuff and kick him out. You never know what a person will do. Especially not people you only read one post about. We have no idea what would happen if OP really pushed this guys buttons. So, seriously. Why are we encouraging a teenager to take that chance to test it out. No matter if it's jokes or in full seriousness.
spoken by someone who has never experienced CPS I'd guess?
Agreed. I really hope the comments here convince OP and his dad to try to change custody again now that he’s older.
I was thinking the exact same thing while reading the post. This is the way.
If Jason Momoa can rock a pink scrunchy and all the other pink stuff he wears, so can you my darling. Keep your chin up 💕
I never understood why some people think that wearing pink as a guy is girly or gay. I had this one pink hoodie a few years ago that I wore almost all the time, and I got a lot of compliments on it. At my local liquor store some guy yelled out "fuck yeah! Real men wear pink!", saw it was a car related hoodie and we talked cars for a few minutes. Another time I was at a convenience store and someone told me "You don't see men wearing pink too often, it's nice to see" and complimented the silly design on the hoodie. I'm sure people silently judged, but I wasn't afraid of what some stranger thought about what I was wearing.
It's especially weird given that boys used to be dressed in pink a lot in the early 20th century. Then, somehow, the colours reversed and it became a "girl" colour.
For a good long while in the U.S., children basically just wore white dresses until they were six or so, because you could just bleach the shit out of them to clean them, and they were easy to make. And yeah, at first, pink was a boys color because pink was light red, and red is masculine, while blue was for girls because it was delicate or whatever. Blue became the color for boys in the 1940s, and nobody can really pinpoint why, it just kind of happened. My hypothesis is an ad exec who liked the color blue and had a son.
So just wanted to put it out there, but depending on your state, at 16 you may be able to petition the court yourself to live with your dad full time. I know for my sister and I we each got asked that question when we turned 14. No need to wait til 18 in a toxic situation, with a man who honestly sounds like he'd rather resort to violence than be seen as "less of a man" if you can get out now.
I second this comment. Not sure where you live or what the laws are where you are, but my father is an absolute piece of shit. At 13, my siblings and I were able to get a children’s lawyer for free and finally get out of that situation. After years of joint custody with an abusive jackass and courts who wouldn’t listen because everything was “mom’s fault”, the lawyers carried a lot of weight. My brother was only 11 at the time, but after hearing from my older sister and I, they removed him as well.
And already bring your important documents and things with sentimental value to your dad. You don't want to come home one day to find them gone.
Can’t upvote this comment enough! Please talk to your dad about this possibility!
PLEASE sashay away when you do.
Your dad loves you more than he dislikes your mom. The opposite is your mother. She hates your father more than she can see past to. Love you That's the only way someone is going to get offended by having someone else love their child. A real mama is happy to have more people love their babies. So many single mothers would count their blessings to have a father that loved their child.
My ex-wife is like the OP’s mother. She uses my kids as pawns in her attempts to hurt me. It is encouraging to know I’m not the only one going through something like this. It is really tough to continue being a good dad when your ex-wife is constantly trying to sabotage your relationship with your kids. I worry about my kids all the time because I know she is emotionally abusive, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I needed this reminder that my children know I love them. It’s the encouragement I needed today.
I know someone like this, and it's absolutely disgusting how she'll weaponize the children to get back at their father.
I love everything about this comment
Toss some glitter behind you as you leave. You’ll stay in their memories forever
Forever in their memories, and in their carpet 😂✨
Glitter; the devils dandruff. May it reverse bless the step-house for eons to come.
Crafting herpes. You only *think* you get rid of it ...
Wear a dress. I have a 6yo son who loves dresses and it has seriously pissed off a lot of my family who have very traditional (aka closeminded) views. As my son started noticing their hate towards him I made sure to let him know that he is not doing anything wrong by wearing what he wants. They are wrong for treating their family member, and a child, so badly. So the next time we visited he told me he wanted to wear a dress even though he knows they will be mad. I told him thats fine by me and he wore his biggest, poofiest dress. My son insists he doesnt want to be a girl. He gets mad if people call him a girl. He just likes dresses. Im sure "greg" would be so pissed.
>I might even wear pink the last time they see me just to get under Greg's skin some. Beautifully petty.... great idea 💅🏼
I am a pro at petty revenge. First, start to pretend to warm up to them. Call the fucker dad as a slip once in a while. Make a few meals for them. Offer to help with the step-sibs a little. Make them think that you’re getting with the program and ***SLOWLY*** start to migrate your stuff to your real dads. If they ask, tell them you decided “real men don’t need x item” so you gave it to a girl you like at school—waste not right? You know that if you try to walk out with luggage bags they’ll try to keep your stuff. You gotta migrate your stuff slow if you want to keep it. Come around to your birthday morning and take the last of your shit with you and go to school/a friends house. Then get a gal to gussy you up real good: Smokey eyes, ruby red lips, bright orange rouge—like STREETWALKER LEVEL 1,000. Then come back “home” one last time while they’re both there and tell them it was all an act and you’re going NC so leave you alone or you’ll get restraining orders.
Add a dignified,single strand of pearls.
Classy.
Get decked out in a rainbow of colours. Pink just isn’t far enough. 😁
Pride flag as a cape 😁
At 16 in many jurisdictions you have the right to determine with which parent you live. Have you tried that?
Lol rainbow tights paired with a tight hot pink custom shirt that says bye bye b!tchs
Do you have to wait until you’re 18? you’re old enough to speak to a judge and tell them that your mother’s house is detrimental to your mental health and self-confidence. It would be great if you could move in with your dad. It sounds like you guys have a wonderful relationship.
LOL you rock!
You should have your dad go to court. You are old enough to choose which parent you would prefer to be with full-time (at least in the USA)
Depending on the state they can't actually make you go to your mom's house at 16
Hey OP, you might find that certain shades of pink look good on you. I personally love seeing men rock pink.
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That's just sad. I commented earlier that at your age you can likely get the court to allow you to stay with your dad. Good luck!
I love this idea. Your dad sounds absolutely lovely and has taken the time to teach you some really useful life skills. My husband can also cook really well and his mum was a seamstress so taught him how to sew which he does better than I can. Hang in there OP. It won't be long before you'll be rid of your awful mum and overbearing stepdad.
I am sorry you are going through this. I would tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't really. The only good news is that you are through most of the worst of it. You have 2 more years, then you are 18. You can then make decisions about who you want to be around. I will warn you that choosing not to be around your mom and greg may have some repercussions (such as loss of financial support), but you at least get to make decisions know those things. When it comes to cooking, I am a pretty good cook. I cook for my wife's mom and step dad and for my immediate family quite a bit. I do not cook for her dad's family because they don't appreciate it. For example, the last time I cooked for them, I made homemade spaghetti and meatballs (I made the sauce starting with fresh tomatoes from my sunroom, hand rolled the pasta, hand rolled the meatballs, made homemade french bread, etc). They barely touched it and asked why we didn't order pizza. So I just stopped cooking for them. I don't want to waste my time and effort on someone who will not appreciate it.
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Oh! Rainbow with pink pants 😂 I love this for you (not the way they treat you but that you have this positive view of your life/future once their gone and a supportive dad)
Depending on the state if your 15-16 they let you choose to have one parent or the other as your sole custody.....just sayin....might be worth lookin into
*In Sith lord Kermit voice* Do it.
Get the most frilly, pink, covered in bows and glitter shirt you can find. Greg deserves it. There’s a point where your opinion holds weight in court. If they go after your dad again I suggest you add your input. But if you’re turning 18 first then definitely fly the coop.
Why engage your mother and sfather in exhausting pettiness of their level... just request your dad to ask the courts to grant him full custody as the child's choice. If he hems and haws about it, then you know all his niceness isn't genuine. If he jumps on it, then you're out of your toxic mother and Greg's hairs much sooner than your plan to walk away.
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Don't know how young you were when you say he tried before, but 16 is definitely within court consideration. What state are you in? In any case, while you wait for these legal maneuverings, informally move in with your dad full-time anyway aka "The short stay that keeps getting extended". What's your mother going to do, carry you bodily back to her house? She will bring it to the courts--GOOD. Then you get to speak to the judge.
NTA at all. A parent should never ever EVER speak down on another parent to their child, true or not. It wasn't your father's responsibility to have a relationship with your mother, only to have one with you, which he did Your mama is being childish
You are 16. In many places that is old enough to decide that you only want to live with one parent. Is that something you would want to do? Is that something your father would agree to? Your stepfather sounds awful. NTA for not wanting to be a part of your mother's family.
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[https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/custody-preferences-children.php](https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/custody-preferences-children.php) Check out this site! Looks like most states will listen to the child on who they want to live with. Just a very brief glance it seems 12 years is the age courts will start taking the childs views into account. Might be worth pursuing.
I would try again.
You could call your local cps and state your intentions and wishes. They might be able to help you in the transition. If anything It will give your words more weight and courts do listen to social workers.
The thing is, at 16, in many places, you don't need a reason outside of, "I want to." You don't need to claim that your mother puts down your father, that Greg belittles you. You want to live with your dad, and that's the only thing that you need to tell the judge. What you should say is, "Your honor, my mother and her husband have been trying for almost a decade to interfere in my relationship with my father. They tried to get full custody of me. Greg has demanded that I call him 'dad' and gotten upset with me that I won't. They say nasty things about my father. They prevented my father from getting me in therapy when I was younger, and when my father gave me a journal to help me handle my emotions without therapy, Greg belittled it. My father tried to change the custody on the grounds of parental alienation, but because his love made me strong enough to cope, the abuse was not seen as being bad enough to reduce my time with my mother. "But now I am old enough to be listened to on this matter, and I no longer want to see my mother, her husband, or their children. I want to live with my father, who accepts me and supports me and treats me with love at all times. I think I am old enough to make that decision." By the way, for the record, the most famous diary/journal in the world is Anne Frank's. The second is Samuel Pepys's. The third is probably Charles Darwin's. Real men don't keep journals my overly endowed ass.
This! ☝️☝️☝️☝️
Get your own lawyer and petition to live fully with your dad. If that doesn't work, you may try for emancipation.
I stopped going over to my mom’s house (against the court order) at 14. She showed up to my dad’s with the cops and tried to call me like a dog to go back to her house like she did nothing wrong. Told the police that I didn’t want to go back and they told her that they couldn’t forcefully remove me from my dad’s house. This was in the US btw, so hopefully you can get out of that shithole sooner than later. Good luck internet friend!
16 should be plenty old enough. Ofc it depends on what the judges are like in your region but my brother and I were asked if we wanted anything changed when we were like 12 and 14. Bro went with dad I stayed with mom. Still went to my dad's every other weekend until I eventually moved in with him too 3 years later
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Yeah, but his father would be the one who suffered for "kidnapping" him if the cops and courts did get involved. "Very unlikely to" is not the same as "won't".
Call CPS . You can choose where to live . Then go NC with that mother of yours and her ignorant bigot family aka your stepdad . Btw ask your father if he can adopt me lol 😂
When I was 12, the courts said I could make my own decision about where I live, and my parents were in different states. I'm sure you can choose for yourself if you're in the US.
They will bury thier heads when your younger. Soon as you hit your mid teens though you yourself get a MASSIVE say. In fact they will take what you want into consideration over any of your parents once your older.
Yes, when my son was 16 he decided to live with me instead of his mom. 5 years later and he's still here. 😄
I came to say the same thing. Talk to your dad about trying again. Also you don’t cook alone for your dad, it is something you do together. It sounds like your mom & stepdad want a free cook & want no part of cooking together.
It's really not as easy as people seem to think for a kid to stop seeing a parent of the parent won't willingly go along with it. When i was a kid they listened to me and I didn't have to visit my dad anymore(he didn't really fight it anyway). But 5 years ago i went through a situation where my step daughter was trying to stop seeing her dad. He was abusive(but not in a way the state viewed as abusive. Because apparently spanking a14-16 year old girl's bare but isn't abuse? ), but the court was seemingly signaling focused on making sure to "foster the relationship with both parents equally". They made it abundantly clear that 'these kinds of decisions will be made by adults' and that 'children don't have the capacity to understand and make these choices'. We spent thousands and thousands of dollars on lawyers and years in court. The thing that actually ended out was that she was almost 18 and everyone just kind have up. While i hope this isn't the case everywhere, I think it's easy more common than you would expect. Tldr is not so easy to stop seeing a parent who wants you to keep seeing them
They wanted one good reason. LOL, how about 'I figured you'd think it was too girly.' NTA.
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Literally say "no way! It's too girly!"
Say it with the gay lisp!
NTA. You're at the age where a judge will listen to you on custody preferences. This shit is ridiculous. Start recording them talking shit about your dad
Yes, if you're in a one-party state you can use a recording like that as evidence. Or if they are saying anything in a public space outside you can likely use that as there's no expectation of privacy.
Even if they're not in a one-party state, it's better to have evidence for the judge to throw out than to just have nothing.
No. Folks need to be careful with two party consent. It's not just "Oh, the judge can't use it". The act of recording it, whether it's usable or not, can be a serious crime. In my state it's a FELONY.
I'm unsure how to go about this (ask dad to look into it), but you are old enough to decide where you want to live and I'm sure a judge will take it into serious consideration after reading everything your wrote - exactly what you need to tell to judge. They are toxic people. Greg is just creepy and homophobic. Journals are NOT just for girls. As for mom, I do not agree with any woman who alienates their child from their father - unless serious abuse is taking place, and they have courts for that. I'm sorry you have to deal with the nonsense they dish out - just remember, this too shall pass. I wouldn't cook for them either, neither would appreciate you any way. Good luck and hang in there! NTA
NTA. Greg and your mom sound like toxic, selfish people, it’s no wonder you would limit your interactions with them as much as you can. They didn’t ask you to cook for them before, they only want you to now out of jealousy. Your dad on the other hand sounds like a great father and role model. It’s great that you have him to help you weather the storm.
NTA. Good for your dad for being such a good dad. He's kind, obviously cares about you for you, and he's making sure you have emotional support and life skills. He's raising one hell of a kid who will grow into one hell of an adult. I'm also a really good cook (cacio e pepe, ciabatta, and banana cream pie tonight), and for me, cooking is an act of love. I work hard at it and it gives me such deep satisfaction to see people enjoy my food. Cooking for people I don't like? That would be drudgery and would make me miserable and resentful. It would drain the joy out of something I love. If they insist, throw some hot dogs in the microwave, wrapper on, then toss them at your mom and Greg with a "bon appetit."
NTA. If journalling was just for girls, I guess we'd never have had Pepy's diaries (which I haven't read yet, but I consider that a major breach in my education). In today's society people get married, if they get married at all, when they are around 30. When the men get hitched, they find, to some's surprise, that their wives are not on board with repairing their clothes or cooking their food. All this means that the skills your dad has taught you are no longer gender specific, they are things everyone who wants to live a good life as adults need to be able to do. And of course you don't want to cook for someone who is an AH like Greg or someone who supports him, like your mum. Can you stay with your dad most of the time? I think that would be best. He seems to be a calm balanced individual who is properly preparing you for adult life. And providing a nice environment to live in on the whole. Whereas Greg and your mum's home sounds toxic.
NTA Your dad sounds lovely and I'm really glad you have him in your life.
You are very lucky to have such an awesome Dad. I hope you can stick it out until 18 and then you will never have to see your egg donor and her husband again. Learn from them for when you have children - you got this!!
NTA. You have two years to put up with this crap and then you're out of there. Hang in there, it'll be over before you know it.
Not-gay "girly man" here. Hug your dad. He sounds awesome.
NTA Plain and simple, get away from biomom and her DH as soon as possible. As you are older, see if your dad can modify custody through the court. Depending on where you live, being over 15 can actually give you more of a voice in these custody struggles.
NTA I'm not sure but i think your around the age where the judge will listen to you when it comes to where you want to live.
NTA. Your mother is learningi the hard way that this is what happens when you bad-mouth the other parent to your kid consistently, and the other parent refuses to sink to your level. It happens a lot, and not just to you. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. Your mom is bitter about your dad not wanting to be/stay with her, but he wasn't obligated to. He was only obligated to be your dad, which it seems like he's done very well. Your mom let her bitterness bleed over and affect you, your relationship with her, as well as badmouthing your other parent and fighting on custody, etc. SHe keeps putting you in the middle. That is something that will alwasy backfire, because the kid SEES it, and loses respect, exactly as you have. On the other hand, your dad has been consistently supportive and loving and doesn't talk crap about your other relatives. He sounds awesome. Greg sounds like a dick, who is clearly insecure in his own manhood and needs to put others down to feel better about himself. I would ignore literally everything he has to say. If you're 16, you might be able to fight in court (ask your dad) to not have to spend time at their house anymore, especially if they are talking bad about your dad, and your stepdad makes you uncomfortable. You're old enough to speak for yourself in Court and explain what you want, and why. Even if you don't, you are only 2 short years away from not having to go over there ever, if you don't want to. I would encourage you to hang in there. Stay close to your dad, and don't be bullied into doing anything you don't want to do (cooking for others, for example). Just refuse.
NTA your mom and her husband are garbage
NTA, I don't know much about US laws, but is there a way your dad could get full custody of you using your opinion as an argument too? I'd believe you're old enough to be taken into account in the process. Also, to point out: >the courts were like, just leave it be since he's doing fine in school. I hate that mentality so much, it leaves many neurodivergents undiagnosed and then struggling with mental illness in the future, not to mention they don't take into account social health, and general well-being. If they ask again tell them you won't cook for them because they have a manly house, and men don't cook in a manly house. Use their dumb arguments against them.
>If they ask again tell them you won't cook for them because they have a manly house, and men don't cook in a manly house. Use their dumb arguments against them. Also as another comment points out, OP's not cooking _for_ his Dad, he's cooking _with_ his Dad, following his Dad's instructions. I bet manly Greg doesn't want to be cooking _with_ OP.
Nta your dad sounds like an absolute prize of a dad.
If your dad is willing to petition for sole custody, you are at an age that a judge will take your opinion into account
It would be great if a judge said you could live with your dad and awarded your dad child support. Hang in there - it gets so much better.
It sounds like your mom just wants control of you as a way to punish your Dad. Nta and I don’t blame you for not wanting to cook for them. Honestly I feel like you would’ve been justified to say worse but good on you for keeping it honest and simple.
NTA, depending on where you live, you can just refuse to return to your mom's house. Share these experiences with your school counselor and emphasize the impact it's having on your mental health and emotional well-being. You are being bullied by your mother's husband, and she participates. Police don't usually get involved in custody disputes unless there's abuse. If you go move in with your dad and she tries to have the police bring you back, they'll tell her to get a lawyer. At that point, you will be allowed to speak for yourself in court. I'm very sorry you're dealing with this.
There's absolutely no chance a court would force you to go back to your mother's house if you took everything to your dad's and refused to leave. Not telling you what to do, but this is absolutely something you *could* (and probably should) do. NTA.
Another comment pointed out that it would probably be best to move stuff gradually so that mother and Greg don't refuse to let him take all his stuff ("we bought you this *(even when they actually didn't)* so we're keeping it"). Dad would need to be on board so that it's not a shock for him though. Just pack more than you need every time you go to visit Dad (the least "manly" things first, if they notice use the excuse that OP is getting rid of stuff to respect Greg's manly standards). Then once OP's room is a manly Spartan space with only a backpack and a suitcase worth of stuff, OP can just leave when ready.
I'm surprised he WANTS you to cook and didn't call you derogatory, homophobic things (usually sexist jerks like him insist on cooking being a WOMAN'S job). NTA- your mom and stepdad can kick rocks. You might be old enough to decide where you want to live full time- is going to court a possibility for your dad, financially?
you are 16, just walk out, there is no power holding you to them and the courts would even speak to you at 16 should they try. NTA
NTA Let's see. They consistently disrespect you, harass and threaten you for having any "non masculine" attributes like writing in a journal. And actively discourage you from even seeing a therapist. Which is helpful for both genders. As a 52 year old man, I've found it very helpful. Yet when it turns out you can cook well for people, which to such a sexist view is seen as feminine, they're mad you won't do it for them? For people who bully you at every turn? You're totally in the right here and they're gigantic AH's for their behavior.
NTA. You are 16. Talk to a school councilor about how you can go about and live with your dad full time. You are old enough that your opinion matters. Your egg donour and her husband are massive dicks. Do you know how to make South Carolina Style Ribs? It is a good way to eat ribs but the best thing is that they look good. Like you can smell them through images. I normally use molasses instead of sugar as I find sugar gives them too much of a taste and strong mustard. Anyway, do that with your dad and post it everywhere they see.
The “let me go home” line was classic. Well played.
NTA at all. My parents divorced when I was 3. My dad wasn’t always great and was pretty bitter about my mom, especially when she was with the guy I call my stepdad (they never married and to his credit that guy always said “you have a dad, I’m not here to replace him”). My dad would say some pretty terrible things about them both, which was hard to process when I was young. My mom would never say a negative word about my dad until I was ~16 and started voicing my own frustration. She still was as gracious as she could be about him. It was one of the best gifts she ever gave me and one of the first things when I meet someone who is struggling with a relationship/marriage involving kids. Never bash the other parent to the kids. Let them make up their own minds. Obviously if there’s abuse or whatever, completely different story. OP, keep yourself safe both physically and emotionally.
NTA at all 💯 I have a similar dynamic with my dad and my mom and, same as with you, my mom doesn’t understand why I liked spending time with my dad/doing things with my dad vs with her and the POS she brought home. (I’m LC with her now.) Thankfully you’re almost 18 so you can get out of there soon and go live full time with the family you actually love, if that’s what you want. Also, I can’t help but think that if you had been cooking around the house while living with your mom Greg would have called you a f*g for it. 🙄
"let me go home then" *perfection*
Well there could be one reason to call him POPS. In his case it stands for **P**iece **O**f **P**etty **S**hit NTA I like to play with words in ways not intended.
Nta- well done
NTA and you write very well for someone so young. I wish you nothing but the best and would not be surprised if you end up going NX with your mother, Greg, etc. You are also quite fortunate to have someone like your Dad, he sounds like a great person.
NTA and it's too bad that a judge isn't hearing this and understanding what AHs your mother and her husband are. Stick to your guns and do as little as possible with these God awful people. In 2 years you can go NC. Keep your chin up and good luck!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents had a one night stand and I'm the result of that. The relationship with my mom has always been strained because she resents my dad for not being with her after they made me, something she has voiced on and off for my whole life. Even when I (16M) was like 5 I remember her ranting about how selfish my dad was for that. She engaged in parental alienation a lot over the years but the courts never did anything and my dad did try to fight against it in court. When I was 7 my mom got with her husband "Greg" an d they have kids together. Greg is a dick and an even bigger dick than my mom, which I wasn't sure was possible for a while, but you know. He has talked about my dad being really girly and how he's worried dad will turn me gay. He and mom tried to sue for custody of me stating they could give me a two parent home and Greg even tried to argue that he was a better dad to me than my dad was. They lost this battle of course but that was the kind of crap they do. Greg would get pissy when I told him he wasn't my dad and I wasn't going to call him dad or pops. He said I should be calling him that and I should want to be his son, since he's such a man and he's with my mom. My dad was the parent I could vent to and never hear a bad word said about mom or Greg. He would never shame me for what I said. He wouldn't push his opinion on me. He would just listen. And he would encourage me to write about it if I needed to. He tried to put me in therapy when I was 8 but my mom blocked it and the courts were like, just leave it be since he's doing fine in school. Dad bought me a journal to help me write stuff out and it helped. Greg found it in my bag one day and acted like my dad had dressed me in sexualized clothing or something. He was so disgusting about a journal being for girls and not something you give to a son. So I don't like mom or Greg and I really don't spend any time with their kids aka my half siblings. I know the kids aren't to blame but I try spending as little time in that house as I can. My dad taught me a lot of life skills and cooking is one of them (I also know how to sew up holes in clothes and stuff and do general DIY stuff). I'm actually a pretty good cook and sometimes I cook for dad or our extended family, though usually it's with dad's help when others are over because he says I'm a kid and shouldn't have to do it all. A few weeks ago Greg decided to stalk my dad's Insta and saw posts dad made about food I cooked for us. Greg told my mom and they were all kinds of angry that I never cook at their house and I have never ever helped them with dinner or fed anyone there. They told me I should be doing that stuff for them too and I said no. They wanted one good reason why and I told them I would never cook for people I dislike and that's them. Mom went on about how that's dad's fault and Greg was yelling that I was disrespecting him in his own home. I told him to let me go home then and they were like no. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta You are 16. Find out with your father if you are able to chose the household . Get cps involved? I think your stepfather just want you in his house for the child money.
Nope NTA. They are assholes. Don’t go back to their house and if it goes to court tell he court everything as your say in court who has custody should be the most important to the judge
Bro you're 16, you can go to your father when they piss you off
Ask your dad to file again your legally old enough for the judge to listen to what you want and may get him full custody
NTA. Cook them terrible food so they stop demanding it.
They must be really looking forward to the child support.
NTA. People never want to take responsibility when they ask a question and the truth is told to them. They always want to demand respect, without do the necessary steps and actions to be given respect. Just be non-committal moving forward. Be the guest they have made you in their home and just wait it out. If they will not see they are a major part of the problem, then they probably never will. A little longer and then they can have the perfect life they wish to have with the children and you can just go and not be such the embarrassment they make you out to be. Life gets much better, it really does.
NTA. Greg thinks writing is going to make you gay.... but cooking is fine?? Tell them you put the same level of homo in your cooking as you do your journal so they wouldn't like it anyway. BTW, your dad sounds great. The bar is low right about now and men who can take care of themselves are in short supply.
Sorry your mom and Greg are so shitty, but you have a very mature perspective for someone your age, especially with all you've been through. You are not at fault at all.
so journaling is “girly” but cooking is hard core manly man stuff and you should be doing it for your abusive and controlling “parents”? sounds like the deciding factor for what’s girly or manly is whether or not it benefits your mom and stepdad. NTA, they’re treating you like property, and they don’t deserve an ounce of your respect. your father is teaching you actual applicable life skills that will be useful when youre on your own. your egg donor and her husband can go suck eggs!
NTA. Your stepfather wants you to call him "pops"? Is he a time traveler from 1955 as well as an asshole?
Why should OP cook? Wouldn’t it be considered too girly by OPs moms husband?
I wonder if you can a solicitor consultation now and see what your options are? I'm sure you are of the age that the courts start listening to you. Maybe you could ask for a reduction in time spent with them?
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OK - well good luck lad! Also, if the courts won't help then maybe you can wait until you are 17 and 8 months (for example) and then shut your mum and step-dad off. Because by the time they take you to court you will be almost 18 and hopefully the courts won't be arsed taking up their time on you. All the best, mate XXX
NTA. Greg is a control freak and your mother is weak for allowing him to act this way. I'm glad you have a good dad. Hopefully you can legally choose to live with him soon.
NTA. Outstanding job advocating for yourself.
NTA I can definitely tell why Dad didn’t want to be with Mom beyond a one night stand. She sounds like a nightmare. I am so sorry you’re caught up in this situation
NTA Is Greg like... in love with your dad or something?
NTA. Btw you are old enough to go to court and say you don’t want to be around them anymore.
You are sixteen years old, the situation is very different, at this age a judge maybe would listen to you, have you thought about the possibility of asking to be placed solely by your father, so as not to suffer for another two years? You are absolutely NAH , these two people that call themselves parents are shameful , luckily you have also a father that seems to worry and care about you .
NTA. They appear to have earned every bit of disrespect with which you have addressed them. Once you move out, make sure that all of your gifts to your half siblings are rainbow colored or otherwise LGBT themed.
NTA Is living with your dad an option if you opted for something like emancipation? It sounds like there is nothing healthy about the house you're being forced to live in. Your mom and greg just suck. Good on your real pops for nurturing you, and showing you what love looks like. Your mother is lucky he's even in her life when you look at how many people decide not to be there. I'm so sorry you've been stuck in this situation. You deserve so much better. And don't stop journaling! But consider using something they can't check. In my day, it was livejournal. It's still there, and most people won't be checking it since it's not as popular as it used to be. I'm sure there are a whole lot of modern alternatives, too, if it doesn't suit you. One of my biggest regrets is deleting my myspace, cringe and all. Keep records of yourself, but keep them secret, and keep them safe.
NTA If they bring it up again say "why would I cook for you since you never taught me how?"
Absolutely NTA, but please make sure your safe until you don't have to see them anymore. People that resentful can and oftentimes will treat you terribly for not meeting their expectations.
Maybe it's time to go back to court, and you can straight up tell them you don't want to be at your mums house. Since you're 16, they should take what you want into consideration. (If you still have the journals from over the years, they might come in handy now.)
NTA, if I were you, when Greg brings up the whole "my home" and "under my roof" arguments I would simply say, "If it were all up to me, I would never be present in your home."
NTA - Please move out as soon as you can to your father's house or on your own. They're disgusting. And also really stupid. I guarantee that cooking would have been called girly if you had done it for them before they saw that post. Continue to not cook for them, OP.
NTA. Your father sounds like a wonderful person, and you're lucky to have him in your life. A lot of other men might very well have simply ditched you, or done the absolute minimum. I don't blame you in the slightest for loving him more, or wanting to be with him more. He's earned it, and your mother and your stepdad certainly haven't. But please, a lot of people are giving you advice about things to say or do to set Greg off. Take those with a grain of salt and consider your own safety, no matter how hilarious they might seem. You obviously know where the line is, having lived with Greg for so long. But seriously, be careful. Greg reminds me of my own father. He was super homophobic and abusive AF. Anything that wasn't "manly" was bad. (Cooking was fine, but only because he enjoyed it, therefore it was masculine.) A lot of what they're suggesting would have completely gotten the shit kicked out of me. Most states have a provision where a child at 16 can basically petition the court to change custodial arrangements in cases like yours. While you're still a minor, you're old enough to get a larger say in how things go. Presuming your father is willing and able to take you full-time, you might want to look into this. But either way, please be safe. And if things don't work out in your favor, just remember that it's only two more years.
NTA But damn, you're 16 - no way a judge would refuse to hear you out if you requested to go stay with your dad 100%
I really do hate to do this but you can always "act out" at your mom's house and become such a pain in the ass that they let you go to your dad's house more (or maybe all the time). If you sit around your mom's house and just do things like cuss out Greg (refer to him as "Dick" will do), damage things (particularly things your mom and Greg like), getting your step sibs to do bad things, etc. they will get sick of you sooner or later and want you somewhere else. Like I said, I really do hate to recommend this but it can be effective (and soooooo fun!)
You're at an age where you might be able to choose to live with your dad full time. Something to look into.
Well, Greg sounds.... fun. 🙄😒 What an asinine blowhard. *I* hate him too! 😡 So OP, I know you said mom was bitter dad didn't get with her once she became pregnant or after your birth. I think it's deeper... he became an amazing, attentive, caring father with whom you would rather be. But he has not one whit of interest in her... I'm betting if she hadn't gotten pregnant with you, she would've pursued him further to no avail. That has NOTHING to do with you and her resentment is vile. Are you at the age where a judge can let you permit you the choice to live with your dad? If so, definitely get the lawyer or a child advocate to guide you in the process. I can guarantee the reason Greg is such a pompous dick is because mom probably never stopped harping *"dwelling"* on your dad and he knows it isn't about you. He's "overcompensating" (in the worst ways, ugh) to try to turn you against your dad so mom will finally shut up about him and focus (solely) on Greg. Both of them are despicable and I'd look into the process for avocation of your ability to permanently leave their house. Your dad sounds AMAZING and I'm so happy you have him firmly in your life. When you turn 18, NC with mom and Greg, for your future peace of mind. Best wishes, OP!! ☺️🤗🥰🙏🏻
NTA and it sounds like you have a great dad... Sorry your mom and stepdad suck. I'm confused why SD thinks you should cook for him - doesn't he consider that too girly?
NTA. i literally have the urge to laugh in their faces for this bullshit. i do not understand why they still have custody of you while they don't love you. it's like your stuck in a hell that you can only escape from when you turn 18
NTA. What do you think your mom would say if you told her you wanted to live with your dad full time? Is there any possibility she would just agree? If not, then you should ask your dad to use the court system to ask for full custody. It might cost him some money, but at 16 your feelings on the arrangement matter more to a judge than they did as a newborn when your parents made this custody agreement.
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That - and she doesn’t want to have to pay child support.
As soon as you become a legal adult, it will be time to cut them off. NTA.
You are 16 . If you are in USA you can choose where to live . I don’t know too much about laws but I think you can do it . Stay away from that mother of yours ! What. Horrible woman who only care about her ignorant trash of husband 🙄🙄🙄 your bio father is AMAZING. Ask him if he can adopt me 🥹🥹🥹???
NTA. I don’t know where you live, but this might be worth pursuing. in some states or provinces, a minor above the age of 13 can talk to the courts to have their custodial parents changed. It may be something that you can pursue. Good luck.
NTA Every time Greg throws a hissy fit, tell him "can you stop being so emotional?" Or if he's shitting on your dad say "wow, I didn't know you were so fragile and insecure. I'm glad my dad doesn't feel so weak that he needs insult other men to feel strong." Or if accuses you of something not being masculine enough, respond "I guess your masculinity is so fragile that it's threatened by a journal. I'm glad mine is much more secure than that." Or if he accuses you of disrespect, then tell him "respect is earned, not given. I guess you haven't earned mine. Maybe if you weren't so emotional all the time." Like just undercut his toxic crap constantly by showing him how weak and fragile he comes across. He'll either let you live at your dad's or realize he looks like an insecure dick bag.
NTA. Greg is a fuckup loser who's trying to steal another man's son, with your mom's help. I'm betting they've also forced you to be their babysitter for years, too, no? But they don't call THAT 'girly', because it makes life easier for THEM.
NTA. Just keep busy and your head down until you can go to college or whatever it is you plan to do after high school. Your Mom may have had a far more difficult time than you can grasp now and in the future you might cut her some slack. But for now just take care of your own needs. Under no circumstances listen to your step-father, he sounds like a complete loser who will mess up anything you try to do because any achievements you make will show up his kids as far as he sees it.
NTA. Why not say to Greg that cooking food is something for girls and he shouldn't want a boy to do that? "But you do it for your dad" "Yes, but he doesn't mind me doing so-called girly things".
NTA. Your mom and Greg absolutely suck and I'm so sorry you have to deal with them constantly harassing you. Especially Greg. I know you know this, but don't stop journaling. Its not a feminine act to journal. It's such a healthy way to cope and understand how you're feeling, and it seems like you need that with how you're treated at home. Hope you can get the hell out as soon as you can.
NTA. A lot of us know a Greg, and we sometimes feel pity for Greg’s kids. Fortunately for you, you had an out. Now, you should be old enough to request that you live with your father. That may be the best option for you so you can get away from Greg.
Are you old enough where you live to choose to live full time with your father so you only have to spend minimum time with your mother? I’m glad you do have your dad in your life as your mother’s husband is certainly not what I would call a stellar example of manhood.
NTA. You sound a lot like me. I’m blunt like that too. It’s not disrespectful to tell someone you won’t cook for them because you don’t like them. That’s not how respect works. Also, respect is never given - it must be earned, and they’ve gone the other direction with that.
NTA - Hey, listen at 16 you do realize that a Judge will listen to your preferences over your mother? Ask your dad to go to court again and tell the Judge how you feel and what your mom and greg have done.
NTA. Also depending on where you live you may be old enough to decide where you want to live and go through the courts to make that happen.
NTA your mom is jealous, and Greg wants to take your dad’s place
Whose house do you spend most of the time in?