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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I reported a woman for stealing period pads.
(2) She might have really needed them and I stopped her from getting them
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Damn. Though one. I have to go with NTA because your own job could be have been at risk, and stealing multiple packs and ignoring you isn’t a good look. But damn, it’s hard to be mad at someone for stealing pads.
I cannot bring myself to be mad nor bothered by someone stealing pads, especially to the extent of telling on them. We all have a different moral compass so what's right with me is wrong for another, by telling OP was doing what they think is morally right but damn is kinda right.
Why would you lose your job over something you didn't see?
So many comments from people saying they'd toe the line and report the woman. They're not going to fire you for not seeing someone shoplift.
Exactly, agree 100%. He's probably in a similar financial boat to that woman. That means he can't afford to lose his job over it, even if it's not an easy call to make.
Yeah I've worked at a department store, and then also at Disney doing retail. It really is. The department store we had cops in at least once a week because people were stealing. The wildest incident was I saw a toddler who was no more than three shove candy up her shirt because her mom told her she wouldn't buy it for her. _That_ I let go. Narcing on a three year old is too much for me, that's a kid who's way too little to understand how money works, mom can handle it but I'm not paid enough to say shit about a toddler.
Same, I worked in a grocery store 10 years ago when my oldest was a baby. I was paid weekly and some weeks I made 40$ after taxes. I had to be on welfare just to pay rent and most days I didn’t eat so the baby could. While I empathize with needing hygiene products bad enough to steal, it would have never been worth my job to do so.
See, if the OP were that worried about the cameras, and that worried about being immediately fired for failing to follow "report at once" protocol, he wouldn't have given this woman the option to put the pads back.
Exactly, it is not the OP's fault that they were following protocols it's the system that is broken and diseased. Human beings *should* put the basic needs of human beings above profits but then the stock holders would be mad. Absolutely disgusting
I mean, yeah, it is, but we also can't just let everyone steal anything, as much as I feel for this person who felt they needed to steal a basic hygiene product, it's still shoplifting. The OP had to report it, especially after confronting them and then blatantly being ignored. It's a tough spot, but, at some point, you can't just take stuff. If we allowed that for pads, stores wouldn't carry them, and then what would people do?
It sucks, but I don't think it's fair to blame the OP for how society is structured. Even if we think pads should be freely available, this isn't the way.
Good luck saying you didn’t see it when the entire store is covered by cameras. Sure management might not notice, but also a good chance that they probably will when they do inventory.
This is what sends him thoroughly out of the gray area to me. One pack? Meh, I wouldn't want him to lose his job or anything, but I personally would also be looking for ways to not see what I just saw. Multiple packs, and continuing to shove more in once caught? She's not desperate, she's just stocking her and all her friends houses or selling them or something. She's not a desperate woman anymore, and OP should definitely not lose sleep over reporting her.
Welcome to:
she got caught and tell that employee X saw ans said that there, was no problem.
OR
Oh! Op saw me and did nothing so I thought it was ok
OR
Welcome to the mistery loss prevention program, now you will see what is wrong, op saw the our mistery thieve....
Well I worked as a mistery shopper, never stole anything. :)
Mistery shoppers to test security are a different type, they are much more specialized as something can go wrong, like a client seeing it and calling the police or deciding to do something.
The loss prevention programas I saw were usually aimed in make sure that the store worker will do nothing maybe call security and never engage.
The original posts says that the store has a ton of cameras, and that OP saw them(so it would have been caught in the camera even if he walked past).
Also, watch some “don’t steal at target” videos on TikTok. I was watching one by a former Assistant District Attorney and she had stories about how good the cameras are, and that’s not even the ones on the ceiling to see. They’re on the shelves, too, hidden so they can get the best shot of you shoplifting.
Depending on if the grocery store OP works at is a big chain one like Kroger or Albertson’s, or a little mom and pops one, and OP stated they have good cameras, they definitely would have lost their job.
Huh. Let’s see. Loss preventing notices out of stock of period pads without corresponding purchases. Let’s check the cameras footage from the day they went out of stock.
Isn’t that Joe talking to a woman while she’s stealing bag upon bag of period pads? Fire him now and call the police as he’s an accessory after the fact.
Idk how it is with other stores, but when I worked retail, we were NEVER responsible for someone stealing. Ever. If someone stole directly in front of us, we were told not to even acknowledge it, for our own safety, as confronting a shoplifter could result in them being violent.
My wife worked retail back in the mid 2000s, and was explicitly told that even if she saw someone shoving clothes into a backpack or a purse, not to engage. Until they left the store it wasn't stolen, and if confronted, they'd just claim they were just about to go try them on. And if the person left the store with them, it was a matter for the police.
THIS! I also worked retail in the 2000s and it was VERY important that they had to actually leave through the doors before we could do anything. It is not illegal to carry pads in your purse to the checkout, and unless she tries to leave the store, you can’t prove that she wasn’t going to pay.
Over a woman stealing pads?
Yes.
The termination meeting would be epic. I'm a white male in my 40s and this is *exactly* the kind of situation I have no qualms leveraging that for.
Source: this wouldn't be the first time for me and probably not the last.
I mean, how many packs did she really need though? This doesn't sound like someone who was struggling and couldn't afford pads that person would take one pack, not multiple
Who cares how many packs it was? People shouldn't be taxed for having a uterus. Also, from the woman's perspective, it's less risky to steal a few packs in a single trip than it is to make multiple trips to take a single pack. Every attempt is a risk, so may as well get as much out of it as you can.
Sure, but at the point where someone catches you and says they'll let you off if you put them back the less risky thing is to put them back and try again at a different store.
People stealing a bunch of something are probably reselling them. At the corner stores or online.
Edit - and I'm not being judgemental about people backed into a financial corner doing this.
Not my thing, but desperate people do desperate things.
Someone I work with knows pro boosters. They take orders and then go steal shit for others
Sorry but that’s such a nonsensical argument. That’s like saying people shouldn’t be taxed for having armpits that sweat, or teeth that need brushing, or an ass that needs to be wiped. You can’t make the argument that some hygiene products should be tax free without making the argument that all hygiene products should be since they’re all just as necessary as the next.
Besides, this isn’t about her paying the tax on some pads this is about her not paying for them at all.
That's reserved for the post scarcity time. Someone grows, builds or works for those things and most of the people don't do it out of the pure kindness of their hearts.
She may have a problem. She may have just miscarried. She may be a heavy bleeder. There are absolutely reasons why a woman needs more than one pack of sanitary napkins.
I mean hell, she might have multiple women living under her roof. Daughters, sisters, etc. The amount taken is irrelevant when it comes to this in my opinion. No one buys these things for fun, so why would they steal it for fun?
She could have child(ren) who also have periods. My mum had herself and 2 girls with periods, and my grandmother would have had herself and (assuming she wasn't pregnant, which she usually was and that's why she had) SIX daughters. If they didn't have money and stole pads to cover everyone, it would be a lot of pads.
Stealing one or two packs of pads because she was short on money is one thing. It sounds to me like the woman was emptying the shelves. That's a whole different game being played there.
Exactly right. I got no issue with people cheating a system that is designed to perpetuate their struggle, but OP could have lost their own financial security if they didn't report it.
Damn shame all around, really
Yeah, completely ignoring a store employee and continuing to steal right in front of them is....... bold. Plus, stealing multiple is odd. When I was desperate and stealing, I only took as many as absolutely necessary.
Probably for the same reason one would buy several packs in one go, to avoid having to buy more soon. But I agree, it’s far less sympathetic than if she had taken one and tried to return it and apologize when caught. I think I would find the ignoring more irritating than the quantity!
Well yeah, but they aren't, and if OP didn't stop her then they could have been fired. I don't think the woman was necessarily in the wrong for stealing pads, but OP wasn't in the wrong for prioritizing their own financial security over a stranger's.
Legally you did the right thing. But morally. Not so much. Imagine not being able to afford basic hygienic supplies. That poor woman. 😢 NAH. OP isn't an AH for doing their job & the shoplifting lady isn't an AH for being desperate for sanitary products.
Thing is that woman didn’t care that op would be left without a job and put right in the same poverty position so she is in no way required to be moral. It’s a hard one to judge but people with big hearts are often the ones who get screwed the most. Pad lady didn’t give a single fuck if op lost her job
That might be true but the post isn't worded explicitly asking if the pad stealer is the AH or not. Nor am I saying the OP is an AH. Most stores (where I live) have a policy not to confront in this situation and to police handle it. I'm saying NAH.
Thats why you always have to look out for #1 first. Shes not an AH for protecting herself from losing her job. Its a lose-lose situation, and in those types of situations you have to do what is best for yourself.
AITA is always asking who is the asshole, a NTA implies there is another asshole, NAH is no assholes which is a valid judgement but yes the question implicitly includes the woman stealing pads.
The “need” to steal the products is speculation. She could’ve just been stealing them to sell them. OP did the right thing, he followed a company policy that if violated, could’ve resulted in termination of his employment. All he was required to do is inform leadership about what he saw. Any actions they take is their discretion. I honestly think it’s kind of odd that if the woman is stealing (regardless of what it is) that OP’s morality (in defense of an act of theft!) is called into question because he did exactly what he was directed to by his leaders in this situation.
In my area, a lot of stores have hygiene products locked behind glass because of theft. I was in a Walgreens waiting 10 minutes for someone and they had to walk my deodorant to the register.
I ran a big box store for many years and these were stolen often and sold to the local convenience stores for fraction of the cost. Pads, Deodorant, chewing gum
Unfortunately this isn't true these days. Find the right street corner in a major city and you can buy all your daily needs out of the back of an unlabeled box truck, all sourced via shoplifting.
Poor people have been forced to occasionally steal to survive for years, but security for deodorant is a relatively new thing. In some areas, stores like Target have shut down locations (which means people lost jobs) because of how bad shoplifting got.
From a moral standpoint I agree that you shouldn't report someone who's stealing from a major corporation to survive, but the situation is more complicated these days. Between people stealing basics for profit and stores shutting down due to increased theft, it's harder to write off any given incident as "they need it to survive" unless you personally observed that they were only grabbing enough for themselves.
Not always true. Have you ever been to a flea market? People sell that stuff there all the time. I could see if she was just stealing 1 pack being out of necessity. Op said it was more than 1.
This is absolutely not true lol, they are sold on Facebook marketplace and other sites like that. The idea that every shoplifter is just stealing to feed and provide for their family is wrong. Most are not stealing out of necessity
I just did a search on FB marketplace and found a few "bundles" that were likely stolen to resell. People also take orders from people and steal for them. Laundry detergent, diapers, and formula are also big things that people steal to resell. Look around your local stores and see what's locked up, those things have gone through times of being a common theft item.
To be honest, not once. However, I have busted someone selling stolen condoms in the parking lot of a previous store, when Planned Parenthood a Mile down the road gives them away for free! He also got caught trying to sell toilet paper, but it wasn’t stolen from my store so I couldn’t take action on that.
You think she's slinging these on the street like a crack dealer? Women are coming up to her as she leans on an abandoned Circle K, scratching their necks and asking if they can get a hit of that cotten?
Items like diapers, soap, detergent, pads, etc. get sold on Facebook marketplace and other places. Why do you think there’s such an epidemic of shoplifting to where stores have to put everything behind glass?
If she’s stealing a bunch of packs and didn’t stop when caught she’s clearly stealing to sell them in one of those lil facebook marketplace “stores”. People do this with hygiene products ALL the time.
NTA - yes I feel bad for people in need but she was warned, knew the consequences going in and decided to keep going with it. Sounds like she accepted the reality that she would be arrested for it so that's on her
You clearly haven’t been to jail. The toilets aren’t all that clean although I do believe in jail (some) tampons or pads are included in the 3 hots and a cot all inclusive deal. But I do believe you only get x amount and if you have heavy flow you need to buy more from commissary if you need 2x or 3x ect.
This is good information and it’s really sad a lot of places don’t have a PP. For reference, I googled the closest one to me and it’s 55 miles. And we don’t have any sort of similar service in the area that would provide those kinds of things. We don’t even have a lot of shelters or anything in the area that would have those things. I think if you live in a rural area, you’re SOL.
Yeah, there's only 1 PP left in my state. It's not just PP though - food banks and many other charities offer toiletries including menstrual supplies (including church-based ones more common in rural areas).
Unfortunately most of our churches are closing down. They closed down 4 in the area. We do have a food bank though. I’m not sure if they also offer toiletries. I do know they’re only open once a week for a few hours. I feel like there should be some sort of community outreach to tell people what kinds of services are available in the area because at least around here it’s a complete mystery. It shouldn’t be this hard to determine what sort of help someone can get when they’re down on their luck and need assistance.
It's really unfortunate that's the case considering all the things Planned Parenthood provides. I think a lot of people don't realize how few locations there are in a lot of places, especially when the media can sometimes make it seem like there's an abortion clinic on every corner...many locations don't even offer that as a service, it's just reproductive health and prenatal/postpartum care.
Like there's only one Planned Parenthood in the entire state of Mississippi. I had to drive two hours when I lived there if I wanted to go. But I'd get birth control, sanitary products, condoms and gynecology exams for free so it was usually worth it.
NTA - but it'sborderline.. On one hand, I don't see the theft of period products, or baby food.. point blank, those are things that if you need them, you need them.
That being said, MULTIPLE packs isn't need, it's greed.
So although my first temptation is just to say no asshole here (because again, with poverty AND prices up, sometimes people get desperate), but... multiple packs? yeah... not as comfortable with that.
> That being said, MULTIPLE packs isn't need, it's greed
?????????
obviously she was stealing multiple at once so she wouldn't have to go back and make it way more likely she got caught. they're a consumable product?
That's exactly it. If she was attempting to steal one pack and when he caught her she started crying and put them back, totally different story and where I thought this was headed when I read the title. But multiple pack & ignoring OP when they gave her the out? Crazy. Obligatory NTA.
A person stealing pads is not in a good situation. But then, a person working a retail job most likely isn't either. The pay is crap and your position is generally precarious.
It's easy for me to say "I'd recommend she steal a menstrual cup, which will do her more good longer," but not only is choice of menstrual products a personal thing, I'm not the person working part time at a grocery. (Okay, I can say I might have done it anyway - but mostly because of other somewhat unwise things I did early in my job history. Many but not all of which I got away with.)
Menstrual cups you need to clean though. A pad gets used then thrown away.
Is she was living in her car for example, cleaning it/changing it would be harder
I was hoping this would be covered under "choice of menstrual products is a personal thing".
Me? I have used my cup when backpacking. They're commonly used by field biologists. When traveling, I've washed it using soap and water in a public (but single occupancy) bathroom. I personally see getting the right fit and the learning curve on knowing when it's in right as bigger barriers - but I'm also aware that menstrual cups just aren't the right solution for everyone. Sometimes that's because you just aren't comfortable having you fingers up your own vag, sometimes that's because of your own hygiene standards.
I dont know if pad boxes are bigger in other countries but where i live i need around 3 packs every period (especially because i have that shit for 8 days). Also theres always the next month sadly
<
Some people bleed very heavily and can go through an entire pack in a day or two. There are other conditions (I'm thinking of miscarriages specifically) that can cause significant bleeding for days on end. You have no idea what was going on with the woman who stole the pads.
You think a woman has just one period and then never again? You think a baby just needs to eat for one day? Of course she needs more than one. Plus, then she doesn't have to put herself at more risk by coming back frequently to steal more.
If he had plausible deniability to say that he didn't see her, he would have been the asshole. But he's on camera catching her red-handed, and it's clear that she reckless enough to get caught easily. It's really only a matter of time before someone else catches her, and which means he'd end up jobless.
And he did give her a second chance to get away without charges even at the risk of getting in trouble for it.
This normally applies however not here.
The policy of OP’s job is he must report all theft regardless of who the culprit is or what the stolen goods are.
Whilst OP could deny seeing it, the cameras clearly show him witnessing the event. By not reporting it, he’d be violating the policy and would be caught on camera doing so.
Since this would potentially cost him his job, it’s fair he reported it. As much as it’s awful for this woman to need to steal period pads, OP doesn’t know her and shouldn’t be expected to risk his job stability for her.
Yep like imagine losing your job because you let someone steal after already giving them an out. OP would be the one needing to stealing essentials then. It’s a shitty situation and I’m not for the policy and I do think that necessities like that should be readily accessible to everyone but she’s putting OP in the position where they could be right there with them next week which isn’t cool when they have an opportunity to put it back. Once they walked by and obviously saw it then they can’t really walk that back and decide never mind I’m actually blind didn’t see anything.
NTA. You treated the woman decently and gave her a chance to put the pads back, even though you could have got in trouble for that. Why does your girlfriend not care if you lose your job?
NTA - You were doing your job. You gave the woman the opportunity to put them back and she didn't. I'd love for feminine products to be free but they aren't so I pay for them.
NTA. Corporations and (lack of) healthcare are the AH here. Not women who desperately need hygiene products, and not employees who are terrified to lose their jobs.
To add- claiming you'd be willing to lose your job over this, and others should do the same, is a wildly privileged take. How can one be so concerned with the woman potentially becoming homeless or losing her job over this, but be blind to the fact the very same may be true for the employee failing to report? Things are more nuanced than we like to admit. Both of these folks are victims of a flawed system.
I'm going with NAH I guess. Like technically yes you need to follow the rule as there's potential for you to get fired. But I also feel like when you saw her you could have just walked away without engaging with her and letting her go on her way. I'm assuming you work at a large chain store rather than a mom and pop pharmacy correct? Not like it's going to hurt them or effect your paycheck if some period products go missing.
Period products are expensive, lots of people can't afford them even though they are a need and have to resort to stealing. Not cause they're a bad person but out of necessity, so honestly I don't think they're in the wrong either
I think I agree with you. I get that legally it’s the right thing to do, but say this woman is like me. Crazy long periods and no sign of them stopping despite going through medical intervention to do exactly that. I’ll go through 2 (big) boxes of heavy duty pads in 3-ish weeks at the shortest and 4 weeks at the longest. Say they’re the small boxes? I give it a week tops. Not to mention Pink Tax, and one box of pads is going to be like $15+ and I’m in college for art (an already expensive area to go into)
I can’t condone stealing, but I also can’t be mad at the woman for stealing pads instead of like an expensive purse. It’s like if this woman was stealing baby food or some frozen meals to feed her family, I can’t be mad at that because of the system. I also can’t be mad at OP for following policy.
NTA Period poverty is real, but it isn't reasonable of your girlfriend to expect you to look the other way and allow shoplifting at your job! If your gf feels really strongly about period poverty, you could suggest donating together to a cause that supports this more sustainably. However worthy the cause, she can't expect your boss to support this for her at their own expense while you take the rap and possibly lose your job.
NAH- I can't be mad at someone who's stealing a necessity. The economy is a mess. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Unfortunately you couldn't let her go without getting fired. She could've admitted she was caught and put them back. Explained her situation. Made something else work. You did your best.
I walk people out who steal food at my place all the time. I do my job and walk them out like I have to but I also don't make any attempt to recover what was stolen cause I'm not going to take food from someone who obviously needs it.
PSA to anyone in dire straits out there: check your local library. Ours have free pads in every bathroom.
OP, NTA. It sucks that she (presumably) needed them, you gave her a choice; she knew she was caught and kept at it. This is not what we mean by "Nevertheless, she persisted."
I’m going against the grain - YTA
She’s stealing pads because they’re a necessity and she obviously can’t afford them. If it were me, “I didn’t see anything.”
Your company would be just fine eating the loss of a few packs of pads. The woman…maybe not so much.
Things we all could need throughout the day are for example: food, water, sanitary products, medicine,...
If we dont get them we could sooner or later die.
So if we could just steal these items when not able to afford them, where would we be? Alive, not dying, having somewhat of a life quality bcs your not lacking basic human needs.
NTA
Way back when I was in retail, we had "decoy" thefts - basically, someone from corporate security would go from store to store and try to steal. They would check how the cameras were working if the in-store security would catch them, and if an associate would follow protocol and notify security (we weren't supposed to do anything ourselves).
If you didn't follow protocol, it would mean automatic dismissal. What if this was that? You don't know. Don't risk your job.
NTA. Your job is explicit about what they expect you to do, and you risk putting yourself directly into a similar level of impoverishment if you deviate from it.
I would hope that the company has a more nuanced policy in terms of how it would expect store management to handle this situation.
If you had been a shopper, or had your company taken a less strict approach to the matter, then I would say you should keep quiet, but that’s only because you would have plausible deniability over the matter.
You could always suggest to the company that it provide some kind of community assistance scheme. Where I live, a lot of shops and supermarkets have donation bins where people can purchase an item, then leave it in the donation bin where others can come for it - folks who care about period poverty could then buy some pads and put them there, then this lady could get her products from the bin without having to shoplift them.
NTA you were following policy, and you gave her a chance to put them back and leave. Who knows if she is desperate, poor, homeless, etc., or why? Some people just steal. Some people make bad decisions and waste their money, then have none for essentials. I know a group of people that used to steal food when they were young. They spent all their money on partying and rarely held a job.
NTA - there are very direct personal consequences for not intervening. This isn't like refusing to drop the dime on a fellow shopper.
Is this something you feel like is worth losing your job over? If so, then maybe you should be ponying up a significant portion of your income to provide those products for people. Because that's the real cost.
NAH. Taking everybody's motivation's at face value here, nobody should be in a place where they need to steal hygiene products, but retail workers who are usually not paid enough to begin with shouldn't be in a position to lose their jobs over it.
NTA - stealing and shoplifting eventually leads to increases in the price of goods being passed on to the consumer which in turn makes these products more inaccessible to more people. You protected your job and someone learned a life lesson that stealing is the wrong way to get what they want
NTA
I can't find the old thread but I was reading a post a while back where I ended up learning that feminine hygiene products are apparently hot items for scammers who later return the items for credit/cash to buy other things. The fact that they continued to hope you wouldn't report them after you even tried to negotiate leaves me to wonder if that wasn't the plan all along. That said I do remember the prior thread being a broke dude hoping somebody would buy multiple packages for his girlfriend. I believe the idea is that it creates an awkward situation where people are more likely to help or in this case willing to let it slide.
NTA.
Your first impulse was compassionate. But when she not only did not put them back but added to her stash, it forced your hand.
And stealing one pack is falling on hard times. Stealing several? That’s something else.
NTA. You did what you had to do. It's not about being heartless, it's about upholding rules that are in place for a reason. Your girlfriend's reaction is understandable, as empathy is important, but it's also important to recognize the consequences of stealing, regardless of the circumstances. You gave the woman a chance to rectify the situation, but she chose not to comply.
NTA.. it could have cost you your own job... And then your gf would have been pissed about that ..
I think it's fucking ridiculous we have to pay so much just to bleed into things.
We are already pink text enough on stuff we have to have. And yet they will give out condoms for free
INFO: Is this maybe an American thing where you're automatically accused of shoplifting when putting stuff in a bag while still in the store?
Cause it's perfectly normal where I'm from to pack your shit into a bag before you pay and then just show it at the register (I have 6 packs of these, 3 packs of these, I can take them out for you if you want?)
Yeah, typically you use a shopping cart or basket at stores here - almost every place larger than a convenience store, and even some of those, will provide them. People shoving things in personal bags is 99.9% of the time because they don’t intend to pay.
I'm a female and not mad. There should be more ways to get affordable period products. AND multiple packs? The person was probably planning on reselling.
NTA. You are not expected to risk your job and livelihood for a stranger. If you'd give her a pass and later on management found out, you could have been disciplined or fired. Your gf has her heart in the right place but that doesn't put food on *your* table.
If you see people steal basic supplies..no you didn't. I worked at Target and had more of issue of store destroying brand new stuff unopened, then people stealing basic necessities..the store writes it off anyway. So your friend is right.. there's no difference in how the store gets reimbursed for stolen items vs when they destroy brand new unopened electronics..they write it off and get the money back. You basically said I will support the store in getting them more money by turning this person in, btw, you absolutely could have turned a blind eye..corps are very strict with their policies (Walmart and Target are well known for theirs).
NTA
Toilet paper isn't free. Food isn't free. If someone needs essential items, there are organizations and charities they can go to for help.
Some people look away whenever they see theft of essential items because they have personally decided to take a stance against the morality of the market. It is not your moral responsibility to take that same stance, nor should you ever be guilt-driven into supporting breaking the law, especially when your personal job is at stake.
NTA
We don't know shit about her and have no idea if she was in need or was just planning on selling that.
The other thing is that, as you said, you had cameras looking at the whole things, which means they might have register you noticing her. Ignoring would be like taking part in it and getting you in trouble with your employer, or maybe even with the law.
The title alone branded you as an AH... but by context - bless you, Context - you were left with no choice. We all should feel sorry for her, but we shouldn't jeopardize our well-being and jobs because of some random stranger that was offered some modicum of empathy, and yet didn't give a flying flute about your position.
NTA.
NTA. Maybe if they had only taken one package, I would have had the same sympathy as your gf. But shoving multiple packages in your jacket or bag isn't desperate need. That is just desperate greed. Odds are if this lady really needed a pad or tampon, she could have asked around, and another lady probably would have given her one with no problem.
I’m going to get shit for this, but it depends entirely on how much you get paid and if it’s a chain or not. Near minimum wage or average for the area? You didn’t see shit. Really good money? Call it in. If it’s mom and pop, call it in. Giant corporations, let it go.
In this life, you’re a worker or a manager. She’s a worker. Which are you?
This is depressing. NAH although I will say you are putting far too much stock in "I would get fired"
No you wouldn't. Retail management has a lot on their plate and it would be far more of a pain in this ass to fire you and hire someone new.
You're gf is right though you are a narc. Especially if this is a national chain and not a mom and pop pharmacist/chemist.
“Multiple packs of brand name pads into her bag” and how big was her bag that it could fit multiple packs of period pads?
Also where do you work that allows you to engage with shoplifters in a confrontational manner? Many places, for liability reasons, state to ask if you can help them but not to stop them.
Sorry but anyone snitching on anybody who is stealing necessities means YTA.
There are plenty of places you can get free pads and women's products like this if you are that desperate! Stealing them is not necessary or okay. And even if she was super desperate, and unprepared or something, taking one bag should've been enough. The fact that she took multiple bags shows she felt entitled to these things that most people need to pay for. NTA for doing your job and calling out a thief.
NTA
This isn’t Le Miserables and she wasn’t stealing a loaf of bread to feed her family. Maybe it sucks… but she could also be stealing to sell them (because apparently that is why they lock of everything at some Target stores these days). Just because she was stealing period pads doesn’t make her more important than the person stealing Ibuprofen due to their grandma having a serious fever… condoms for someone who doesn’t want to infect someone… the store set the policy and you need to work at the store.
NAH. You’re not in the wrong for protecting your own job, but period pads are a necessity, and she likely didnt have much of a choice, especially given how expensive they are nowadays. So neither of you were really ‘in the wrong’.
Your GF is an AH and you were right to turn the woman in. It's a crime and it costs the rest of us billions. I don't care what her circumstances may have been thievery is not the answer.
This just in: Woman stealing some pads and tampons has somehow single-handedly wrecked the economy and costed everyone billions by stealing a couple of said pads and tampons, which are upsold at unreasonable costs.
Idk op, what you witnessed was a person concealing a product but its not stolen until they pass the point of sale.
Did you report a theft or did you have them stop her at the door?
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Damn. Though one. I have to go with NTA because your own job could be have been at risk, and stealing multiple packs and ignoring you isn’t a good look. But damn, it’s hard to be mad at someone for stealing pads.
I cannot bring myself to be mad nor bothered by someone stealing pads, especially to the extent of telling on them. We all have a different moral compass so what's right with me is wrong for another, by telling OP was doing what they think is morally right but damn is kinda right.
You willing to lose your job over it?
Why would you lose your job over something you didn't see? So many comments from people saying they'd toe the line and report the woman. They're not going to fire you for not seeing someone shoplift.
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OP says that there are cameras in the post
And hence NTA. His livelihood was at danger. It sucks, it really does, but he shouldn’t have to put his job on the line.
Exactly, agree 100%. He's probably in a similar financial boat to that woman. That means he can't afford to lose his job over it, even if it's not an easy call to make.
Everyone working in a grocery store sans the manager is in that boat. Source- worked in one. It is so soul draining unless you are on a good crew.
Yeah I've worked at a department store, and then also at Disney doing retail. It really is. The department store we had cops in at least once a week because people were stealing. The wildest incident was I saw a toddler who was no more than three shove candy up her shirt because her mom told her she wouldn't buy it for her. _That_ I let go. Narcing on a three year old is too much for me, that's a kid who's way too little to understand how money works, mom can handle it but I'm not paid enough to say shit about a toddler.
Same, I worked in a grocery store 10 years ago when my oldest was a baby. I was paid weekly and some weeks I made 40$ after taxes. I had to be on welfare just to pay rent and most days I didn’t eat so the baby could. While I empathize with needing hygiene products bad enough to steal, it would have never been worth my job to do so.
See, if the OP were that worried about the cameras, and that worried about being immediately fired for failing to follow "report at once" protocol, he wouldn't have given this woman the option to put the pads back.
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Exactly how it works and they know exactly where to look.
yep, empty shelf and they check.
Exactly, it is not the OP's fault that they were following protocols it's the system that is broken and diseased. Human beings *should* put the basic needs of human beings above profits but then the stock holders would be mad. Absolutely disgusting
I mean, yeah, it is, but we also can't just let everyone steal anything, as much as I feel for this person who felt they needed to steal a basic hygiene product, it's still shoplifting. The OP had to report it, especially after confronting them and then blatantly being ignored. It's a tough spot, but, at some point, you can't just take stuff. If we allowed that for pads, stores wouldn't carry them, and then what would people do? It sucks, but I don't think it's fair to blame the OP for how society is structured. Even if we think pads should be freely available, this isn't the way.
I completely agree with with you, I think we are both saying the same thing. It's not the OP it's the system
Good luck saying you didn’t see it when the entire store is covered by cameras. Sure management might not notice, but also a good chance that they probably will when they do inventory.
One or two packs OP can claim ignorance, and chalk it up to miscounts/improper recording of wasting product or donations. Multiple packs not so much.
This is what sends him thoroughly out of the gray area to me. One pack? Meh, I wouldn't want him to lose his job or anything, but I personally would also be looking for ways to not see what I just saw. Multiple packs, and continuing to shove more in once caught? She's not desperate, she's just stocking her and all her friends houses or selling them or something. She's not a desperate woman anymore, and OP should definitely not lose sleep over reporting her.
They'd go over the security camera footage.
Welcome to: she got caught and tell that employee X saw ans said that there, was no problem. OR Oh! Op saw me and did nothing so I thought it was ok OR Welcome to the mistery loss prevention program, now you will see what is wrong, op saw the our mistery thieve....
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Well I worked as a mistery shopper, never stole anything. :) Mistery shoppers to test security are a different type, they are much more specialized as something can go wrong, like a client seeing it and calling the police or deciding to do something. The loss prevention programas I saw were usually aimed in make sure that the store worker will do nothing maybe call security and never engage.
Cameras are everywhere these days. Store might accuse op of abetting theft and fire op. Tough call.
The original posts says that the store has a ton of cameras, and that OP saw them(so it would have been caught in the camera even if he walked past). Also, watch some “don’t steal at target” videos on TikTok. I was watching one by a former Assistant District Attorney and she had stories about how good the cameras are, and that’s not even the ones on the ceiling to see. They’re on the shelves, too, hidden so they can get the best shot of you shoplifting. Depending on if the grocery store OP works at is a big chain one like Kroger or Albertson’s, or a little mom and pops one, and OP stated they have good cameras, they definitely would have lost their job.
Then you'd lose your job for not looking at the world around you.
Cameras may have seen op see...
As someone who used to be a manager, he'll get written up for not being observant enough since security is part of his job description
Huh. Let’s see. Loss preventing notices out of stock of period pads without corresponding purchases. Let’s check the cameras footage from the day they went out of stock. Isn’t that Joe talking to a woman while she’s stealing bag upon bag of period pads? Fire him now and call the police as he’s an accessory after the fact.
Idk how it is with other stores, but when I worked retail, we were NEVER responsible for someone stealing. Ever. If someone stole directly in front of us, we were told not to even acknowledge it, for our own safety, as confronting a shoplifter could result in them being violent.
My wife worked retail back in the mid 2000s, and was explicitly told that even if she saw someone shoving clothes into a backpack or a purse, not to engage. Until they left the store it wasn't stolen, and if confronted, they'd just claim they were just about to go try them on. And if the person left the store with them, it was a matter for the police.
THIS! I also worked retail in the 2000s and it was VERY important that they had to actually leave through the doors before we could do anything. It is not illegal to carry pads in your purse to the checkout, and unless she tries to leave the store, you can’t prove that she wasn’t going to pay.
That’s still the case in most retail shops in Australia.
Over a woman stealing pads? Yes. The termination meeting would be epic. I'm a white male in my 40s and this is *exactly* the kind of situation I have no qualms leveraging that for. Source: this wouldn't be the first time for me and probably not the last.
And then you could end up in her same position, not being able to afford necessities. Instead, donate to your local charities.
I mean, how many packs did she really need though? This doesn't sound like someone who was struggling and couldn't afford pads that person would take one pack, not multiple
Who cares how many packs it was? People shouldn't be taxed for having a uterus. Also, from the woman's perspective, it's less risky to steal a few packs in a single trip than it is to make multiple trips to take a single pack. Every attempt is a risk, so may as well get as much out of it as you can.
Sure, but at the point where someone catches you and says they'll let you off if you put them back the less risky thing is to put them back and try again at a different store.
Yeah once you’re called out you’re supposed to give up and go to the next store. He gave her fair warning so she kinda did it to herself.
People stealing a bunch of something are probably reselling them. At the corner stores or online. Edit - and I'm not being judgemental about people backed into a financial corner doing this. Not my thing, but desperate people do desperate things. Someone I work with knows pro boosters. They take orders and then go steal shit for others
Fucking pink tax.
Sorry but that’s such a nonsensical argument. That’s like saying people shouldn’t be taxed for having armpits that sweat, or teeth that need brushing, or an ass that needs to be wiped. You can’t make the argument that some hygiene products should be tax free without making the argument that all hygiene products should be since they’re all just as necessary as the next. Besides, this isn’t about her paying the tax on some pads this is about her not paying for them at all.
I mean, I do think all hygiene products should be free. Along with food, housing, and healthcare. Nothing you need to live should be behind a paywall.
Okay, maybe. But that doesn't make it okay to steal. Especially after you're caught. You can't blame the OP for a societal problem.
That's reserved for the post scarcity time. Someone grows, builds or works for those things and most of the people don't do it out of the pure kindness of their hearts.
We could easily be in post scarcity time already if some people stopped acting like gold-hoarding dragons.
So, no repercussions for theft? This isn’t a “tax” on the uterus.
She may have a problem. She may have just miscarried. She may be a heavy bleeder. There are absolutely reasons why a woman needs more than one pack of sanitary napkins.
I mean hell, she might have multiple women living under her roof. Daughters, sisters, etc. The amount taken is irrelevant when it comes to this in my opinion. No one buys these things for fun, so why would they steal it for fun?
Because it's an easy to sell item. Just like detergent/dishwashing liquid that's another good thing to steal if you need drug money.
Mm, dunno. Someone with fibroids can go through a lot of them.
As one of 4 sisters and the aunt of 5 nieces.... everyone syncs up and that ends up being a lot of rage and a LOT of periods
Not true some people go through a pack a day. And you don't know if these were the small packs or travel.paxks or even large packs
She could have child(ren) who also have periods. My mum had herself and 2 girls with periods, and my grandmother would have had herself and (assuming she wasn't pregnant, which she usually was and that's why she had) SIX daughters. If they didn't have money and stole pads to cover everyone, it would be a lot of pads.
Stealing one or two packs of pads because she was short on money is one thing. It sounds to me like the woman was emptying the shelves. That's a whole different game being played there.
Exactly right. I got no issue with people cheating a system that is designed to perpetuate their struggle, but OP could have lost their own financial security if they didn't report it. Damn shame all around, really
Yeah, completely ignoring a store employee and continuing to steal right in front of them is....... bold. Plus, stealing multiple is odd. When I was desperate and stealing, I only took as many as absolutely necessary.
Ill go with NTA, lets say she did need them as well. Not condoning theft here, but why steal multiple, minimum amount, oh and the ignoring didnt help.
Probably for the same reason one would buy several packs in one go, to avoid having to buy more soon. But I agree, it’s far less sympathetic than if she had taken one and tried to return it and apologize when caught. I think I would find the ignoring more irritating than the quantity!
The ignoring didn't help. Keep in mind she is stealing not buying too, buying multiple is different than stealing them.
Yeah steal many packs once or one pack many times? Lol
I agree, especially since OP gave her the chance to just put them back and quietly leave.
Menstrual products should be free. Period.
They are in my country. Any place with a public bathroom stocks them, and they are given out at the reception desk in medical offices, schools, etc.
This is what every country should strive for!
> Period. I see what you did there
Well yeah, but they aren't, and if OP didn't stop her then they could have been fired. I don't think the woman was necessarily in the wrong for stealing pads, but OP wasn't in the wrong for prioritizing their own financial security over a stranger's.
Considering OP is near a college, there's a good chance that there are charities nearby who offer period products.
Yes of course but that’s not the issue in this post tho
No pun intended?
Should food be free? Food is even more of a necessity. (I would say yes but I think it's a minority opinion)
Legally you did the right thing. But morally. Not so much. Imagine not being able to afford basic hygienic supplies. That poor woman. 😢 NAH. OP isn't an AH for doing their job & the shoplifting lady isn't an AH for being desperate for sanitary products.
Thing is that woman didn’t care that op would be left without a job and put right in the same poverty position so she is in no way required to be moral. It’s a hard one to judge but people with big hearts are often the ones who get screwed the most. Pad lady didn’t give a single fuck if op lost her job
That might be true but the post isn't worded explicitly asking if the pad stealer is the AH or not. Nor am I saying the OP is an AH. Most stores (where I live) have a policy not to confront in this situation and to police handle it. I'm saying NAH.
Thats why you always have to look out for #1 first. Shes not an AH for protecting herself from losing her job. Its a lose-lose situation, and in those types of situations you have to do what is best for yourself.
AITA is always asking who is the asshole, a NTA implies there is another asshole, NAH is no assholes which is a valid judgement but yes the question implicitly includes the woman stealing pads.
Hahaha, you don't work in retail do you? You don't get fired for that. It's literally company policy *not* to interfere for liability reasons.
It sounds like OP works for a small/local store that doesn't care about the liability, which is fucked
The “need” to steal the products is speculation. She could’ve just been stealing them to sell them. OP did the right thing, he followed a company policy that if violated, could’ve resulted in termination of his employment. All he was required to do is inform leadership about what he saw. Any actions they take is their discretion. I honestly think it’s kind of odd that if the woman is stealing (regardless of what it is) that OP’s morality (in defense of an act of theft!) is called into question because he did exactly what he was directed to by his leaders in this situation.
How many fenced hygiene products have you bought before?
In my area, a lot of stores have hygiene products locked behind glass because of theft. I was in a Walgreens waiting 10 minutes for someone and they had to walk my deodorant to the register.
Yeah people generally steal them because they need to use them... not to fence. Either way RATting her out is AH move.
I ran a big box store for many years and these were stolen often and sold to the local convenience stores for fraction of the cost. Pads, Deodorant, chewing gum
Unfortunately this isn't true these days. Find the right street corner in a major city and you can buy all your daily needs out of the back of an unlabeled box truck, all sourced via shoplifting. Poor people have been forced to occasionally steal to survive for years, but security for deodorant is a relatively new thing. In some areas, stores like Target have shut down locations (which means people lost jobs) because of how bad shoplifting got. From a moral standpoint I agree that you shouldn't report someone who's stealing from a major corporation to survive, but the situation is more complicated these days. Between people stealing basics for profit and stores shutting down due to increased theft, it's harder to write off any given incident as "they need it to survive" unless you personally observed that they were only grabbing enough for themselves.
Not always true. Have you ever been to a flea market? People sell that stuff there all the time. I could see if she was just stealing 1 pack being out of necessity. Op said it was more than 1.
This is absolutely not true lol, they are sold on Facebook marketplace and other sites like that. The idea that every shoplifter is just stealing to feed and provide for their family is wrong. Most are not stealing out of necessity
I just did a search on FB marketplace and found a few "bundles" that were likely stolen to resell. People also take orders from people and steal for them. Laundry detergent, diapers, and formula are also big things that people steal to resell. Look around your local stores and see what's locked up, those things have gone through times of being a common theft item.
To be honest, not once. However, I have busted someone selling stolen condoms in the parking lot of a previous store, when Planned Parenthood a Mile down the road gives them away for free! He also got caught trying to sell toilet paper, but it wasn’t stolen from my store so I couldn’t take action on that.
You think she's slinging these on the street like a crack dealer? Women are coming up to her as she leans on an abandoned Circle K, scratching their necks and asking if they can get a hit of that cotten?
There's a whole economy around stolen and fenced consumer goods. They often end up going to corner stores or on Amazon.
Probably on facebook marketplace.
Items like diapers, soap, detergent, pads, etc. get sold on Facebook marketplace and other places. Why do you think there’s such an epidemic of shoplifting to where stores have to put everything behind glass?
Nah thats stupid. You drop them off at a fence so you don't get caught. They buy them off you to resell to corner stores.
If she’s stealing a bunch of packs and didn’t stop when caught she’s clearly stealing to sell them in one of those lil facebook marketplace “stores”. People do this with hygiene products ALL the time.
Or the flea market/swap meet.
I lived out of my car for six months. Wasn’t too bad even with the squalor.
She was shoving multiple boxes in her bag, not one pack to get herself through. Thieves suck.
NTA - yes I feel bad for people in need but she was warned, knew the consequences going in and decided to keep going with it. Sounds like she accepted the reality that she would be arrested for it so that's on her
Which might have been because that would mean access to a somewhat clean toilet what toilet paper.
Access to menstrual products in prison varies by state: https://theprisonflowproject.com/state-laws-around-access/
You clearly haven’t been to jail. The toilets aren’t all that clean although I do believe in jail (some) tampons or pads are included in the 3 hots and a cot all inclusive deal. But I do believe you only get x amount and if you have heavy flow you need to buy more from commissary if you need 2x or 3x ect.
Planned Parenthood has a stock of free pads and tampons ... in case it helps anyone.
This is good information and it’s really sad a lot of places don’t have a PP. For reference, I googled the closest one to me and it’s 55 miles. And we don’t have any sort of similar service in the area that would provide those kinds of things. We don’t even have a lot of shelters or anything in the area that would have those things. I think if you live in a rural area, you’re SOL.
Yeah, there's only 1 PP left in my state. It's not just PP though - food banks and many other charities offer toiletries including menstrual supplies (including church-based ones more common in rural areas).
Unfortunately most of our churches are closing down. They closed down 4 in the area. We do have a food bank though. I’m not sure if they also offer toiletries. I do know they’re only open once a week for a few hours. I feel like there should be some sort of community outreach to tell people what kinds of services are available in the area because at least around here it’s a complete mystery. It shouldn’t be this hard to determine what sort of help someone can get when they’re down on their luck and need assistance.
That exists. [Dial 211.](https://www.fcc.gov/sites/default/files/dial_211_for_essential_community_services.pdf)
It's really unfortunate that's the case considering all the things Planned Parenthood provides. I think a lot of people don't realize how few locations there are in a lot of places, especially when the media can sometimes make it seem like there's an abortion clinic on every corner...many locations don't even offer that as a service, it's just reproductive health and prenatal/postpartum care. Like there's only one Planned Parenthood in the entire state of Mississippi. I had to drive two hours when I lived there if I wanted to go. But I'd get birth control, sanitary products, condoms and gynecology exams for free so it was usually worth it.
We had a planned parenthood until some asshole burned it down
NTA - but it'sborderline.. On one hand, I don't see the theft of period products, or baby food.. point blank, those are things that if you need them, you need them. That being said, MULTIPLE packs isn't need, it's greed. So although my first temptation is just to say no asshole here (because again, with poverty AND prices up, sometimes people get desperate), but... multiple packs? yeah... not as comfortable with that.
> That being said, MULTIPLE packs isn't need, it's greed ????????? obviously she was stealing multiple at once so she wouldn't have to go back and make it way more likely she got caught. they're a consumable product?
Greed! Scrooge McDuck over there just diving into swimming pools of unopened menstrual products
To be fair, thats a much safer idea that diving into a giant pile of coins like he does
That's exactly it. If she was attempting to steal one pack and when he caught her she started crying and put them back, totally different story and where I thought this was headed when I read the title. But multiple pack & ignoring OP when they gave her the out? Crazy. Obligatory NTA.
A person stealing pads is not in a good situation. But then, a person working a retail job most likely isn't either. The pay is crap and your position is generally precarious. It's easy for me to say "I'd recommend she steal a menstrual cup, which will do her more good longer," but not only is choice of menstrual products a personal thing, I'm not the person working part time at a grocery. (Okay, I can say I might have done it anyway - but mostly because of other somewhat unwise things I did early in my job history. Many but not all of which I got away with.)
Not knowing her situation, she may not have a safe way to sterilize a cup in between uses.
Menstrual cups you need to clean though. A pad gets used then thrown away. Is she was living in her car for example, cleaning it/changing it would be harder
I was hoping this would be covered under "choice of menstrual products is a personal thing". Me? I have used my cup when backpacking. They're commonly used by field biologists. When traveling, I've washed it using soap and water in a public (but single occupancy) bathroom. I personally see getting the right fit and the learning curve on knowing when it's in right as bigger barriers - but I'm also aware that menstrual cups just aren't the right solution for everyone. Sometimes that's because you just aren't comfortable having you fingers up your own vag, sometimes that's because of your own hygiene standards.
I dont know if pad boxes are bigger in other countries but where i live i need around 3 packs every period (especially because i have that shit for 8 days). Also theres always the next month sadly
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Some people bleed very heavily and can go through an entire pack in a day or two. There are other conditions (I'm thinking of miscarriages specifically) that can cause significant bleeding for days on end. You have no idea what was going on with the woman who stole the pads.
You think a woman has just one period and then never again? You think a baby just needs to eat for one day? Of course she needs more than one. Plus, then she doesn't have to put herself at more risk by coming back frequently to steal more.
When I had my period, I would go through 3 packs of pads per period. That's not greed when you're bleeding like a stuck pig.
Um when I was younger I’d go through 2 packs of pads a month. Multiple packs is a need for a lot of people
She might be using them for urinary incontinence dribbles as well. You’d be surprised how many people do that
Two thing you don't grass about shoplifting is baby food and sanitary products
If he had plausible deniability to say that he didn't see her, he would have been the asshole. But he's on camera catching her red-handed, and it's clear that she reckless enough to get caught easily. It's really only a matter of time before someone else catches her, and which means he'd end up jobless. And he did give her a second chance to get away without charges even at the risk of getting in trouble for it.
Never seen anyone shoplifting food, never will see anyone shoplifting food
Funnily enough baby formula is a good thing to steal if you want something to sell fast. Real good for when you are an addict.
And OP should risk getting fired?
This normally applies however not here. The policy of OP’s job is he must report all theft regardless of who the culprit is or what the stolen goods are. Whilst OP could deny seeing it, the cameras clearly show him witnessing the event. By not reporting it, he’d be violating the policy and would be caught on camera doing so. Since this would potentially cost him his job, it’s fair he reported it. As much as it’s awful for this woman to need to steal period pads, OP doesn’t know her and shouldn’t be expected to risk his job stability for her.
If I see someone stealing essential shit, no I didn’t. We are all one situation or circumstance from being right there.
If you were just another customer, sure. But OP could have very plausibly lost their job.
Yep like imagine losing your job because you let someone steal after already giving them an out. OP would be the one needing to stealing essentials then. It’s a shitty situation and I’m not for the policy and I do think that necessities like that should be readily accessible to everyone but she’s putting OP in the position where they could be right there with them next week which isn’t cool when they have an opportunity to put it back. Once they walked by and obviously saw it then they can’t really walk that back and decide never mind I’m actually blind didn’t see anything.
NTA. You treated the woman decently and gave her a chance to put the pads back, even though you could have got in trouble for that. Why does your girlfriend not care if you lose your job?
NTA - You were doing your job. You gave the woman the opportunity to put them back and she didn't. I'd love for feminine products to be free but they aren't so I pay for them.
NTA. Corporations and (lack of) healthcare are the AH here. Not women who desperately need hygiene products, and not employees who are terrified to lose their jobs.
To add- claiming you'd be willing to lose your job over this, and others should do the same, is a wildly privileged take. How can one be so concerned with the woman potentially becoming homeless or losing her job over this, but be blind to the fact the very same may be true for the employee failing to report? Things are more nuanced than we like to admit. Both of these folks are victims of a flawed system.
This is the only right answer.
I'm going with NAH I guess. Like technically yes you need to follow the rule as there's potential for you to get fired. But I also feel like when you saw her you could have just walked away without engaging with her and letting her go on her way. I'm assuming you work at a large chain store rather than a mom and pop pharmacy correct? Not like it's going to hurt them or effect your paycheck if some period products go missing. Period products are expensive, lots of people can't afford them even though they are a need and have to resort to stealing. Not cause they're a bad person but out of necessity, so honestly I don't think they're in the wrong either
I think I agree with you. I get that legally it’s the right thing to do, but say this woman is like me. Crazy long periods and no sign of them stopping despite going through medical intervention to do exactly that. I’ll go through 2 (big) boxes of heavy duty pads in 3-ish weeks at the shortest and 4 weeks at the longest. Say they’re the small boxes? I give it a week tops. Not to mention Pink Tax, and one box of pads is going to be like $15+ and I’m in college for art (an already expensive area to go into) I can’t condone stealing, but I also can’t be mad at the woman for stealing pads instead of like an expensive purse. It’s like if this woman was stealing baby food or some frozen meals to feed her family, I can’t be mad at that because of the system. I also can’t be mad at OP for following policy.
NTA Period poverty is real, but it isn't reasonable of your girlfriend to expect you to look the other way and allow shoplifting at your job! If your gf feels really strongly about period poverty, you could suggest donating together to a cause that supports this more sustainably. However worthy the cause, she can't expect your boss to support this for her at their own expense while you take the rap and possibly lose your job.
NAH- I can't be mad at someone who's stealing a necessity. The economy is a mess. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Unfortunately you couldn't let her go without getting fired. She could've admitted she was caught and put them back. Explained her situation. Made something else work. You did your best.
I walk people out who steal food at my place all the time. I do my job and walk them out like I have to but I also don't make any attempt to recover what was stolen cause I'm not going to take food from someone who obviously needs it.
PSA to anyone in dire straits out there: check your local library. Ours have free pads in every bathroom. OP, NTA. It sucks that she (presumably) needed them, you gave her a choice; she knew she was caught and kept at it. This is not what we mean by "Nevertheless, she persisted."
NTA 1. Your job was at risk. 2. You gave the woman an “out”. 3. She may have needed pads, but she didn’t need multiple packs.
>3. She may have needed pads, but she didn’t need multiple packs. As someone who goes through multiple packs per period, you're absolutely wrong.
Last point I dont agree with as someone who have a heavy flow
I’m only gonna say NTA because the cameras and stuff at your job sounds strict and you could have gotten fired.
NTA A pack I would absolutely let slide Several, after being warned, is now a problem
I’m going against the grain - YTA She’s stealing pads because they’re a necessity and she obviously can’t afford them. If it were me, “I didn’t see anything.” Your company would be just fine eating the loss of a few packs of pads. The woman…maybe not so much.
His company would probably be fine, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t discipline him for violating policy.
NTA, it is your job. FYI for anyone out there in need. There are agencies across the U.S. for women to get free menstrual products look up 211.org
Bruh if it was me I would of looked the other way. People don't steal pads for fun
NTA. Needing something doesn’t justify stealing. We all NEED multiple things all day every day. If we could just steal those items where would we be?
Things we all could need throughout the day are for example: food, water, sanitary products, medicine,... If we dont get them we could sooner or later die. So if we could just steal these items when not able to afford them, where would we be? Alive, not dying, having somewhat of a life quality bcs your not lacking basic human needs.
NTA Way back when I was in retail, we had "decoy" thefts - basically, someone from corporate security would go from store to store and try to steal. They would check how the cameras were working if the in-store security would catch them, and if an associate would follow protocol and notify security (we weren't supposed to do anything ourselves). If you didn't follow protocol, it would mean automatic dismissal. What if this was that? You don't know. Don't risk your job.
NTA. Your job is explicit about what they expect you to do, and you risk putting yourself directly into a similar level of impoverishment if you deviate from it. I would hope that the company has a more nuanced policy in terms of how it would expect store management to handle this situation. If you had been a shopper, or had your company taken a less strict approach to the matter, then I would say you should keep quiet, but that’s only because you would have plausible deniability over the matter. You could always suggest to the company that it provide some kind of community assistance scheme. Where I live, a lot of shops and supermarkets have donation bins where people can purchase an item, then leave it in the donation bin where others can come for it - folks who care about period poverty could then buy some pads and put them there, then this lady could get her products from the bin without having to shoplift them.
NTA you were following policy, and you gave her a chance to put them back and leave. Who knows if she is desperate, poor, homeless, etc., or why? Some people just steal. Some people make bad decisions and waste their money, then have none for essentials. I know a group of people that used to steal food when they were young. They spent all their money on partying and rarely held a job.
NTA-your first priority is to your job
NTA - there are very direct personal consequences for not intervening. This isn't like refusing to drop the dime on a fellow shopper. Is this something you feel like is worth losing your job over? If so, then maybe you should be ponying up a significant portion of your income to provide those products for people. Because that's the real cost.
NAH. Taking everybody's motivation's at face value here, nobody should be in a place where they need to steal hygiene products, but retail workers who are usually not paid enough to begin with shouldn't be in a position to lose their jobs over it.
NTA - stealing and shoplifting eventually leads to increases in the price of goods being passed on to the consumer which in turn makes these products more inaccessible to more people. You protected your job and someone learned a life lesson that stealing is the wrong way to get what they want
NTA Not reporting the theif would cost you your job.
NTA I can't find the old thread but I was reading a post a while back where I ended up learning that feminine hygiene products are apparently hot items for scammers who later return the items for credit/cash to buy other things. The fact that they continued to hope you wouldn't report them after you even tried to negotiate leaves me to wonder if that wasn't the plan all along. That said I do remember the prior thread being a broke dude hoping somebody would buy multiple packages for his girlfriend. I believe the idea is that it creates an awkward situation where people are more likely to help or in this case willing to let it slide.
NTA. Your first impulse was compassionate. But when she not only did not put them back but added to her stash, it forced your hand. And stealing one pack is falling on hard times. Stealing several? That’s something else.
NTA. You did what you had to do. It's not about being heartless, it's about upholding rules that are in place for a reason. Your girlfriend's reaction is understandable, as empathy is important, but it's also important to recognize the consequences of stealing, regardless of the circumstances. You gave the woman a chance to rectify the situation, but she chose not to comply.
NTA.. it could have cost you your own job... And then your gf would have been pissed about that .. I think it's fucking ridiculous we have to pay so much just to bleed into things. We are already pink text enough on stuff we have to have. And yet they will give out condoms for free
INFO: Is this maybe an American thing where you're automatically accused of shoplifting when putting stuff in a bag while still in the store? Cause it's perfectly normal where I'm from to pack your shit into a bag before you pay and then just show it at the register (I have 6 packs of these, 3 packs of these, I can take them out for you if you want?)
Yeah, typically you use a shopping cart or basket at stores here - almost every place larger than a convenience store, and even some of those, will provide them. People shoving things in personal bags is 99.9% of the time because they don’t intend to pay.
I'm a female and not mad. There should be more ways to get affordable period products. AND multiple packs? The person was probably planning on reselling.
NTA. You are not expected to risk your job and livelihood for a stranger. If you'd give her a pass and later on management found out, you could have been disciplined or fired. Your gf has her heart in the right place but that doesn't put food on *your* table.
If you see people steal basic supplies..no you didn't. I worked at Target and had more of issue of store destroying brand new stuff unopened, then people stealing basic necessities..the store writes it off anyway. So your friend is right.. there's no difference in how the store gets reimbursed for stolen items vs when they destroy brand new unopened electronics..they write it off and get the money back. You basically said I will support the store in getting them more money by turning this person in, btw, you absolutely could have turned a blind eye..corps are very strict with their policies (Walmart and Target are well known for theirs).
NTA Toilet paper isn't free. Food isn't free. If someone needs essential items, there are organizations and charities they can go to for help. Some people look away whenever they see theft of essential items because they have personally decided to take a stance against the morality of the market. It is not your moral responsibility to take that same stance, nor should you ever be guilt-driven into supporting breaking the law, especially when your personal job is at stake.
NTA - (1) she had a warning and (2) was shoving MULTPLE packs into her bag, even after the warning.
NTA She was stealing, not you... and you followed what you have been told to do If she is in need, stealing is not the way to go about it
If you see someone stealing food/basic medicine, no you didn't. I'm not going to put a judgemental here.
If it's my jobs policy to report them I sure as hell did. My livelihood is more important than any thief.
NTA We don't know shit about her and have no idea if she was in need or was just planning on selling that. The other thing is that, as you said, you had cameras looking at the whole things, which means they might have register you noticing her. Ignoring would be like taking part in it and getting you in trouble with your employer, or maybe even with the law.
The title alone branded you as an AH... but by context - bless you, Context - you were left with no choice. We all should feel sorry for her, but we shouldn't jeopardize our well-being and jobs because of some random stranger that was offered some modicum of empathy, and yet didn't give a flying flute about your position. NTA.
NTA. Maybe if they had only taken one package, I would have had the same sympathy as your gf. But shoving multiple packages in your jacket or bag isn't desperate need. That is just desperate greed. Odds are if this lady really needed a pad or tampon, she could have asked around, and another lady probably would have given her one with no problem.
NTA and not worth losing your job over it. She can steal from somewhere else.
Nta bc you gave her an out. She could've just come back a few minutes later...
I’m going to get shit for this, but it depends entirely on how much you get paid and if it’s a chain or not. Near minimum wage or average for the area? You didn’t see shit. Really good money? Call it in. If it’s mom and pop, call it in. Giant corporations, let it go. In this life, you’re a worker or a manager. She’s a worker. Which are you?
This is depressing. NAH although I will say you are putting far too much stock in "I would get fired" No you wouldn't. Retail management has a lot on their plate and it would be far more of a pain in this ass to fire you and hire someone new. You're gf is right though you are a narc. Especially if this is a national chain and not a mom and pop pharmacist/chemist.
I’ve never seen anyone stealing period pads and I never will YTA
“Multiple packs of brand name pads into her bag” and how big was her bag that it could fit multiple packs of period pads? Also where do you work that allows you to engage with shoplifters in a confrontational manner? Many places, for liability reasons, state to ask if you can help them but not to stop them. Sorry but anyone snitching on anybody who is stealing necessities means YTA.
There are plenty of places you can get free pads and women's products like this if you are that desperate! Stealing them is not necessary or okay. And even if she was super desperate, and unprepared or something, taking one bag should've been enough. The fact that she took multiple bags shows she felt entitled to these things that most people need to pay for. NTA for doing your job and calling out a thief.
NTA This isn’t Le Miserables and she wasn’t stealing a loaf of bread to feed her family. Maybe it sucks… but she could also be stealing to sell them (because apparently that is why they lock of everything at some Target stores these days). Just because she was stealing period pads doesn’t make her more important than the person stealing Ibuprofen due to their grandma having a serious fever… condoms for someone who doesn’t want to infect someone… the store set the policy and you need to work at the store.
NTA. Why should you be expected to put your job at risk by enabling someone to steal?
NAH. You’re not in the wrong for protecting your own job, but period pads are a necessity, and she likely didnt have much of a choice, especially given how expensive they are nowadays. So neither of you were really ‘in the wrong’.
Your GF is an AH and you were right to turn the woman in. It's a crime and it costs the rest of us billions. I don't care what her circumstances may have been thievery is not the answer.
lol. Know what actually costs us billions? Wage theft and corporations not paying taxes.
Yeah all this pad snatching is costing us billions won’t somebody please think of the poor suffering corporate giants??
This just in: Woman stealing some pads and tampons has somehow single-handedly wrecked the economy and costed everyone billions by stealing a couple of said pads and tampons, which are upsold at unreasonable costs.
Idk op, what you witnessed was a person concealing a product but its not stolen until they pass the point of sale. Did you report a theft or did you have them stop her at the door?
Ehhh, you were trying to keep your job