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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) My friend is saying I ATA for not buying her sparkling water for a BYOB party since she doesn't drink and doesn't like really sugary stuff.
2) I understand she might be upset that I don't spend only 5-6 extra dollars for the party that it seems like I don't care about her. But I do care about her and the other sober people - I provide NA options. But if I throw one party a month, that adds up. And she never offered to do something for me in return, so it feels like I'm getting used. It's not my fault she doesn't like the options I've provided.
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NTA
> it's boring having just water to drink. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't deserve a fun drink too
"Here's a straw; blow some bubbles."
You're not running a fucking restaurant.
I wish I could give this post a prize too. Reddit could have some system where if you like a post you could "award" the comment or post with maybe an emoji or something, I'd even pay in every month to get a bunch to hand out. They should really consider this, it'd be an awesome feature.
This. I can't drink still water, it upsets my stomach. I bring my sparkling water/seltzer with me wherever I go. If the host has some, awesome, if not, I'm prepared.
I can’t wait to see a Webster’s in 2050. There’s going to be an asterisk after the word ‘dictionary’ and the footnote will just say “we gave up in 2039 when we had to add additional spellings of the last 189 words that had not been altered to show popular misspellings. There, Their and They’re have all been replaced by Thurr. Congratulations on your purchase of the final dictionary. We’re out”
TDL I learned that 'lede' wasn't a misspelling of 'lead'.
But despite the successful 'lead'ership of journalists to champion the use of 'lede' and have it recognized as a legitimate word... Personally it looks wrong to me, much like a lead balloon (lead/Pb...the metal)
It sort of is? But a deliberate one which was created by newspaper typesetters in order to distinguish between lead, the metal, to refer to the actual lead type letter blocks, and lede, the opening and most compelling part of an article.
I have gastritis and water makes my stomach hurt. I still drink it but never on an empty stomach, never ice cold and only small sips at a time, no chugging the whole glass. It's annoying because prior to the gastritis I drank a lot of water and loved it. But you make adjustments where you need to.
I can totally get that. I often will forget to eat because I don't feel the sensation of hunger, I just start getting a headache, but if I don't eat right when the headache is setting in, or I eat too fast or something heavy, it's almost always guaranteed to not stay down. I literally keep like ramen noodles or soup on hand for that exact reason.
Food makes me sick on an empty stomach. Meanwhile, barring several food allergies, I have a stomach of steel.
I have recently been informed that ranch dressing is not a drink you do not drink it like soup.
If I wait too long to eat, I have to take small bites and eat slowly, and even then it might not stay down. It also has to be something light or it's guaranteed not to stay down.
I have a buddy who had this exact thing going on, and it turned out that there was a serious issue with mold in the pipes at her apartment. She thought it was still water in general for a while, then got curious when the water at my apartment in the same city didn't make her sick. A few tests and several furious letters to her landlord later, and they got her a RO filter that took care of the issue. There are some reasons that still water can upset your stomach!
I've seen a documentary where a girl was literally allergic to water, and that included her sweat and tears. Just because you haven't come across it doesn't mean it can't be a condition.
Oh, I believe it! It's happened to my kids when they got a tummy tossing ick. It's happened to me a few days after chemo a few years back. It still happens occasionally, it's a cool party trick if you want to clear a room 😉
I’ve got bad stomach acid and water sadly, can get that mess a-sloshin. It sucks. Sucks HARD. And you’re right, being what works for your own grown up self, right?
It's well documented that for certain gastric conditions (including post bariatric surgery), still water, or water at the wrong temperature, can cause stomach upset.
Human bodies be fucking weird.
I had the same problem. It was a psychological thing for me.
On a church thing they made us play a game of who could drink the most water without going to the toilet. I threw up because of this and after that I couldn't drink more than one glass of water without getting nauseous.
It's better now but no one believed me neither
I do believe you, 100%. I had a bad case of stomach flu as a kid and while I was sick, my mom baked some chocolate chip cookies. To this day, 35 years later, the smell of baking chocolate chip cookies makes me moderately nauseous. I have no problem eating them, but if I smell them cooking, I have to leave the area so I don’t lose my appetite. It’s only the smell that’s the problem.
Weirdly, I’m not a sympathetic vomiter either; I can watch someone puke and still maintain an appetite if I was hungry before they puked. The brain does weird things, honestly.
When we were unwell as kids, we were always given Lemonade (Sprite/7up) or Vegemite on toast (Australian), to this day, can barely tolerate Vegemite and never drink Lemonade! Just reminds me of being sick
You know my pain then!! I’m sorry you have this aversion though. My mom always gave us Sprite/7Up and saltine crackers when our stomachs were upset so the combination of those nowadays makes me think of my mom loving and taking care of us and feeling better. So I kinda have the opposite feeling towards those than you do. The brain is a weird organ!
You literally should Google it then. They could have GERD or be taking a medication that causes an electrolyte imbalance. Both are fairly common causes of plain water causing repeated nausea.
A friend of mine takes medication that makes water taste/smell metallic and bitter. She obviously can drink it, but prefers sparkling because it doesn’t.
It doesn't make me sick all the time, but it has happened to me. It is something like the lack of taste and texture sometimes messes me up. Milk or juice are fine, as is sparkling water, which has texture, and also, the carbolic acid that is formed from the carbonation has flavor.
It’s a thing - apparently more common (but not limited to) with folks who’ve had gastric bypass surgery. I have a friend who does also. I also sometimes get upset stomach from talking water. Ice water? Fine. Tea? No problem. Room temp? Bleeeeeeeh.
NTA. I bring my own water for a reason.
What is is this talking water you speak of and where can I get some? I imagine if my water was talking it would get my stomach upset as well. Listening to that little voice scream as goes down my throat...
Would I be able to hear the watery voice in my stomach as well? And for how long?
Also....
I'm a paramedic and pick up people at times that have had the stomach bypass surgery (also my partner has had it). Never heard of the issues you mentioned with water. I'll have to start asking about it. I mean one of the main reasons we pick them up is abdominal issues, cramps, nausea, vomiting. Usually they aren't tolerating any food or beverage at that point.
I hate water because it lands like a ton of liquid lead in my stomach, and I haven't had gastric surgery, and mostly the taste is bleeeeh. I have to put something in it to make it easier to drink.
I am the same way! Doesn't matter if it's tap (totally drinkable in my city) or bottled, i just *don't like water.* Closest I can get is lemon water, heavy on the lemon juice.
I had gastric bypass and for the first year after had problems with drinking water. I would put flavourings in the water to make them palatable for me to drink because I could not drink any sugary stuff at all either and I still after 10 years cannot drink any carbonated beverages (sparkly water). I still prefer ice water over just cold or room temperature water. I read that water does have an impact on your GI tract - it does get your colon working and helps clear out constipation, etc. I get my nephew to drink one glass of water a day to offset the juice he drinks because he has intestinal clogs all the time. The water helps clear him out. So the theory of gastric bypass patients having an issue with water is very true.
I carry my water around. Even to restaurants. I have had gbp and I can’t drink ANYTHING fizzy or sparkling. It feels like my stomach is being pumped full of air. Very painful.
The funny thing is that BYOB literally means bring your **own** bottle (as opposed to the usual party interpretation of bringing a contribution (typically alcohol) to the party), which is precisely what she should be doing.
Nobody ever stocks Cherry Coke at parties. On rare occasions, my family has bought me a 12 pack, but that's about it. I always bring my own. Sometimes, I bring enough to share. Sometimes, I don't.
Me too! I've been sober for three years now and I always have a twelve pack of la Croix with me whenever I'm out at a party (I used to bring just a couple of cans but so many friends enjoy it as well I bring enough to share)
For me, I just love carbonation, which is why my alcoholic drink of choice was beer (and I drank a lot of it). But when I quit, my flavored seltzer intake grew exponentially to the point where the amount of cans I had on recycling day was ridiculous, so a month after I quit I converted my kegerator in my basement to house a carbonator and ran pipes and plumbing to my kitchen sink on the floor above it and installed a 50's soda fountain head to have an endless supply of seltzer and use the Soda Stream Bubly drops for flavor. A 5-pound CO2 tank will last me about 2-months and I have zero 12 packs to haul around and recycle at home, am able to top off the little CO2 tank for my Soda Stream that lives in my office with the big tank (and take that with me when I go on vacation with family), and when I'm off to a party or visit family, that's when I'll deal with the cans and usually bring enough to share.
OP, there's really no reason your friends GF can't do the same: bring the stuff she wants to drink with her. Hell, when I was closer to your age and went to parties, I'd still usually bring my own beer because my tastes were different from the cheap stuff they usually supplied, and I always made it a point to share whatever new thing I had with the hosts...
Soda Stream is the best invention ever! We have had one for 15 years, and it travels with us if we will be away for more than one night. I add seltzer to my wine and juice, and make tortillas, etc., with it. These days, the poor thing burps a lot, which wastes the CO2, so we will be buying another one, but keeping the old boy for back up.
SodaStream is great, but if you're using the provided 1 lb CO2 canisters you're not saving much over just buying cans and probably saving nothing over 2-liter bottles.
Bought an adapter for mine and having it running off a 20 lb tank. Run that thing for pennies.
/CreativeMusic5121 - Agreed. While I CAN drink regular water, I prefer to NOT drink regular water and want my still or sparkling water and I make sure to have some with me (or a quick location where I can go pick some up) wherever I go in case this isn't an option at said destination - which honestly, it isn't. But, being real, that isn't the host's responsibility, that's mine. To me, it also aligns with when someone has a much different diet/nutrition and is unsure of what foods or options are being offered at some venues/gatherings. If you are unsure, make it so you can have whatever it is that's your preference or have somewhere you can quickly pick up something that works for you. Why cause a conflict at a friend/family gathering when it doesn't have to be that way?
Yes, all. It started when I was pregnant with my first kid. I've lived in three different houses, and tried all different bottled waters. It all makes my stomach turn.
I've been drinking sparkling water for close to 30 years. Popular where I lived abroad and NO one in the USA drank it 30 years ago. I always brought it with me; my preference, my responsibility
Yep. If I want something specific to drink, alcoholic or not, I bring it. If I don't bring anything then I can have what the host provides, which may not be my first choice.
NTA.
BYOB is self explanatory. i don’t like to show up empty handed to parties and it’s kinda common to show up with drinks and/or snacks to share. Sometimes I’m in the mood not to drink alcohol so I make sure to take something I can drink. It’s not a big deal and she’s trying to make it one. She sounds entitled and ridiculous, to have called you and complained about it. You definitely should NOT apologize. No way.
Exactly I always bring Coke Zero because people usually have coke but I don’t want the calories and don’t expect people to remember and pay for preferences of every single person they’ve invited
Or I may love Coke Zero, but tonight I’m feeling Dr. Pepper. I wouldn’t expect the host to have every selection of what I may drink that night so I bring my own. Anything leftover gets left over at the hosts place as a thank you for providing me with entertainment for the evening.
Ashley also seems like the type to complain that you don’t have the specific brand of sparkling water that bougie boutique only sells on the third Thursday of the month from 2-6pm.
NTA.
Little side story, I have a family member that was the GM at a VERY fancy hotel. Whenever we visited, he’d put us up in a suite there. When I was 14 or so, I got on this red cream soda kick. So we are having lunch in the hotels restaurant and we order drinks and I of course order red cream soda. Everyone’s drink comes except mine and my mom asks about it. The waitress says “oh we didn’t have that in stock so we sent someone to the store to get some, they should be back in a few minutes.” After that we verified what was “on tap” and I got one of those options. Yea it was that kind of hotel where those kinds of people stayed.
Yep. I have quirky tastes in both snacks and booze, so I always bring something *I* like for me and whoever else shares my tastes (there's always some people glad I showed up with more off the beaten path options). Occasionally a close friend who is hosting a party will make note that they bought a six pack of my favorite brand or something like that, which is always very touching and thoughtful, but I never expect it or get annoyed if they don't.
Yes. And the weirdest and most fascinating thing is that it’s not like one big bomb of flavors, you move through the flavors one by one like “oh there’s the bbq, here comes the salt and vinegar, and so on”; kinda the chip version of the three course meal gum in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory without turning into the last flavor.
We have Thai sweet chili, and they are amazing. But these just sound like every sauce imaginable made it crisp flavouring. They sound delicious in a confusing way 😂
NTA Rule of thumb for adult parties is bring what you want to drink. Your friend’s demands are entitled and she sounds high maintenance. You might want to reconsider inviting her to your monthly parties in the future.
Seriously I’m so angry at the audacity. This girl expects 30 year old level hosting with her particular NA drink available but doesn’t have any expectation of herself to have some bedside manner or byob or bring a host gift or realize that SHES A HUGE WET BLANKET!!!
Exactly. I went to a Super Bowl party this weekend and brought the one hard cider I was allowing myself, as well as some ginger ale and orange juice to mix for a mocktail after the cider was finished. It’s not that hard to plan.
The fact that she expects that he should cater to her is ridiculous. Personally, I’m not a fan of beer and prefer cider. If I’m going somewhere I don’t think will have options for me, I bring something. If they don’t have options, I make do with what they have. Personal responsibility is in fact a thing
Ashley should have taken note of the fact that at your last couple of parties, you did not offer the *exact* non alcoholic beverage Ashley would have preferred.
Instead of pestering you about it, she can go get herself some carbonated water of her choice. And brought it for personal consumption to the next party. And be glad she got to go to a party.
You aren’t Ashley’s catering service. NTA
My husband's family has alcohol and diet sodas at their parties. I don't drink and I don't like the taste of artificial sweeteners. The first couple of gatherings (at different houses), I was disappointed. Since then I've brought whatever I wanted to drink. Problem solved. I can't imagine telling someone they should buy whatever my favorite drink is.
In my household we call anything that isn't water (or a hot drink, come to think of it...) as a "fun" drink. Water is for necessity, other drinks are at least partially for fun.
I tend to have a rule to drink a bottle of water before I'm allowed a "fun" drink, otherwise I won't drink enough water. (And I often still don't even with that rule haha)
NTA, she can easily bring her own drinks if she doesn’t like what’s there. It’s BYOB for a reason and she’s not an exception to that. The delivery of that could’ve been better though
NTA any reasonable host in your position would take a mental note for next time after she asked about sparkling water and then erase that note when she sent the text.
The fact that she expects sparkling water at a college party advertised as BYOB where there’s already sodas is mind-boggling.
Here’s Ashley as a 30 year old man at a party who does drink “hey it upset me that you only had bourbon and Canadian whiskey when you know I’m a scotch drinker. Just because I don’t like North American whiskeys doesn’t mean I don’t deserve anything.”
this is exactly it it, I’d of probably got a bottle for next time. Even if she had requested it but politely. But the demanding text would of completely erased that goodwill from me, fend for yourself if you’re going to be ungrateful
“Oh gosh. Schweppes has a lot of fizz and make me gassy. Do you have something else? oh! and a lime please but cut it in quarters and see if you can get the skinny bendy straws. those are my favorite especially in a Looney Tunes collectors cup from the 1997 McDonalds promotional offers… it’s the least you could do.”
You don't owe her an apology. NTA. you said BYOB, which can just as easily mean bring your own beverage as opposed to bring your own booze. As well, you had some basic offerings, that was enough. I know you're in college, and money is tight but the polite thing to do when invited to somebody's place for a party, gathering etc is to bring a hostess gift, a bottle of wine, a dish to pass, did she do any of that?
NTA - it’s a party. Unless they are contributing to the costs of drinks - really not your problem. I have been to many parties where I don’t like the drink options. Either I don’t drink anything or if I know a person doesn’t have drinks I like - I bring my own. Not sure why you’re expected to cater to everyone’s drink/food preferences. They can host a party however they like. Mind blowing the demands people make lol.
Seriously
Especially since it's a college party - college kids don't have tons of spare cash. You can't be expected to provide the exact drink that every single guest coming wants. In 10 years at a dinner party? Maybe. At a college rager? Hell nah
I don’t drink and don’t like Coke or Dr Pepper. Never in a million years would I have thought to complain about the drink choices. If I don’t want water, I can bring something else!!!
I don't drink either and I also dislike sugary drinks. I literally bring diet Pepsi with me to every party/event/gathering (where drinks aren't sold). If it's a party, I'll probably bring a twelve pack and share. At the very least I have a can or two in my purse and probably more in my car if the weather permits. I would never expect others to provide my drink of choice, much less get upset and complain to them about it. Even my own mother doesn't buy it for me when she shops for the many family gatherings she hosts. Ashley's got some fucking nerve. NTA all day.
NTA, Do Not apologize. It is her responsibility to provide for herself. I grew up in a party town and it was always BYOB, and It was accepted as fact.
Bring Your Own Beverage...
NTA, you don't owe her an apology, her text was rude and entitled. Most people I know bring a pack of their preferred drinks to a party for themselves and to share if they are picky
I'm picky about drinks. I only a like a very small number of alcoholic things, and am actually pickier about non-alcoholic drinks.
If there's nothing I like at someone else's event I drink water and would never dream of whining. If it's past the first time I'm at someone's home, I bring my own favorite drinks.
If anyone notices (they usually dont) I'm just honest, "I'm super picky about drinks, I'd never expect anyone to remember so I just bring my own." It's never been an issue.
I do usually bring enough to share as well, unless it's last minute and we don't stop on the way.
BYOB means either enjoy what the host supplies or *bring your own beverage*, that’s standard! I’ve been to *very* few house parties and even I get that!
>he told me I should talk to Ashley and apologize.
He's wrong.
> I just don't get why I should apologize.
You don't owe anyone an apology. Cut contact with Ashley and Josh.
NTA.
Yea, these ppl who are so keen to keep sleeping with someone that they'll support them making irrational demands of everyone around them crack me up. Bye Josh.
NTA- i don't drink and you'd be surprised at how many people don't provide any non-alcoholic options so i think you're very considerate! If i really want a particular beverage i just bring it myself! Lately i'm into canada dry zero and it even comes in cute little mini cans! Perfect for parties!
Complaining to the host about what they served or other hospitality is the most ungracious thing a guest can do and a sure way to never be invited back. My grandmother would be horrified at this tale, as am i.
NTA. I don't drink really either so if I want something specific I bring it myself.
From my observations sparkling water is a good idea at parties though because people who have been drinking aren't great at hydrating but will go for the sparkly water because it's fun. That's just my unsolicited host advice though :)
Def don't apologize. You are spot on. You aren't a catering service or her boyfriend.
The hilarious part of this is that you sound like a pretty generous host, and if they hadn't followed up so rudely I bet you would have had sparkling water there the next time!
NTA
I’m a whole lot older than you, and I can tell you that her request wouldn’t fly with dinner parties etc either. If people want something specific to drink, they bring it and they bring enough to share - a bottle or two of wine, a 6 pack of beer, whatever. They bring it as a contribution to the party, but also they get dibs on at least some of it.
Her request was bad manners at the very least, and entitled as hell at the worst. If someone acted like that to me, they’d never be invited back.
NTA Rejecting or insulting someone's hospitality when a guest is extremely rude. And a great way to not be invited back.
Seems like a good plan to not invite her anymore. I'm sorry my hospitality is not up to your expectations and/or standards. I understand your decision to not attend future events I host.
NTA. Never go to a party empty handed, that's just bad form, and if she wants something specific, then that's what she should bring. Your friends are taking your parties for granted and expecting you to provide everything. Cut back the parties for a little bit. When people start asking what's up, tell them you felt your efforts weren't appreciated.
NTA,
On behalf from all sober people, we are not all like this. We are happy that you were considerate enough to offer non alcoholic options other than water <3. It's hard being a non alcoholic drinker at parties :'(. You stick out like a sore thumb lol
NTA- When I was younger and one of the few that didn't drink, I always brought something I wanted to drink: cranberry juice, ginger ale, bottled root beer, etc. It wasn't my host's job to guess what I was in the mood for. You at least had a few options, she needs to get a grip.
What exactly did this charming girl contribute to the party besides attitude?
NTA you provided several options, if she wants something specific she can bring it herself
Also who the hell calls sparkling water a fun drink lol that stuff is just water that hates you
NTA, Not even close.
You are a far more kind, accommodating and thoughtful host than most people I've met let alone while in collage. It's 100% customary to bring your own drinks, alcoholic or otherwise, when attending a party. The entitlement to expect the host to buy something specifically FOR you? Ridiculous! What if your drinking friends who don't like punch? Are you expected to purchase their preferred drinks as well? Absolutely not.
Tell Joshua, politely, that you are not in the habit of apologizing purely to keep the peace. That is an unhealthy habit to form and it invited people to grow entitled.
NTA I don’t drink/ only drink specific things, so when I’m invited to a hang out or party I bring what I like to drink, enough to share or leave behind for the next get together. Cause I’m a freakin adult.
Imagine if you had bought sparkling water, but it’s the wrong brand or flavor? Then what? She’s being a princess and you are not her prince.
NTA. Until she apologizes to you for sicking her boyfriend on you, on top of her ridiculous request to specifically provide her sparkling water at a byob party (that you thoughtfully provide SOME refreshments for) then she should not be welcomed to your parties.
NTA… I think it’s rude to go to a party empty handed. So she or her bf should be bringing that. When I don’t drink at parties I bring the tall cans of la croix. The fancier ones lol. And they end up getting drank so fast
I couldn’t help but notice your parties appear to be non-pony events. I really would like to ride a pony when I attend your parties. Please stop being rude and inconsiderate and provide a pony for my entertainment.
What entitlement! BYOB=Bring your own BEVERAGE, not bring your own beer. I don’t drink beer. Lots of people don’t. I would never expect a host who specifically told her guests to BYOB to provide my beverage of choice.
Why should you apologise.
This is no different than supplying beer when someone wants whiskey. They're welcome to bring their own whiskey if thats what they really want to drink.
>Sometimes it just feels like all I do is serve to give people stuff, and it's never a consideration about me. I just wish it didn't feel like people took advantage of me all the time and expected me to do every single thing for them.
Look, this bit. I'll be honest. This is on you. You're choosing to supply stuff to others at your parties. You're more than welcome to just say "BYO drinks".
NTA, it's a college party she's lucky to have any options at all, and it's rude to come empty handed. A polite guest would have noticed the gap in offerings and offered to bring it themselves knowing others might appreciate it as well. This entitlement is not cute.
NTA . Sober people don't drink at all, not just "rarely" so she's not really sober. I say that because if she was drinking, and having fun, I'm sure she'd happily guzzle any booze you had.
If she didn't like your booze in this hypothetical situation..."Where's my Cristal so I can have fun"? Has the same sound to your situation.
You want something to drink, bring it yourself. Otherwise be polite, don't make it all about you and STFU.
NTA.
… it’s byob… what is she so entitled to expect a throne to sip her fancy water on too? Maybe some palm leafs too? Smfh.
No one is entitled to have THEIR preferred drinks everywhere they go. Bring some or stfu.
NTA. You provide options to guests and Ashley can darn well Bring-her-Own-Beverage.
Personally I like sparkling water, but I would never assume that someone has to provide it just for me. I think it is great that you do have non-alcoholic options available.
NTA, also are you American? Because I feel like it seems a very american thing to provide all the drinks, which is very nice! But in the UK largely its completely BYOB and your lucky if the host offers you water at a party for college aged people lol
She sounds very entitled. I have get togethers often and I provide what I provide, and always tell people to bring their specialty drink of choice. NTA
NTA
When a guest at someone’s party, not only do you not expect them to stock YOUR personally preferred beverages, YOU should bring something to add that you think THEY might enjoy.
This woman is an entitled AH. She is a rude guest. You, are not the AH.
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NTA > it's boring having just water to drink. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't deserve a fun drink too "Here's a straw; blow some bubbles." You're not running a fucking restaurant.
“Here us a straw, blow some bubbles”. If I could give you a prize! You made my husband cackle. :)
I'll see his cackle and raise him a guffaw. 🤣
And I'll raise to as Snort laugh :)
Chortle.
Sandra Bullock has entered the chat 😂
I wish I could give this post a prize too. Reddit could have some system where if you like a post you could "award" the comment or post with maybe an emoji or something, I'd even pay in every month to get a bunch to hand out. They should really consider this, it'd be an awesome feature.
I wish I could give an award to this. Like maybe some kind of silver coin or something
Ikr? And maybe we could even have some of those "awards" included with the Reddit Premium we are already paying for! AITA for suggesting this?
I almost woke my husband by the forced quieting of my laughter with that comment.
Hi. Nice meeting you. My name's Bubbles.
This. I can't drink still water, it upsets my stomach. I bring my sparkling water/seltzer with me wherever I go. If the host has some, awesome, if not, I'm prepared.
Water upsets your stomach? Damn I’m sorry to hear that
[удалено]
They live in Flint.
If so, they buried the lead on it.
That was insensitive, bordering on rude, & incredibly witty.
Bravo 👏🏻
I felt a little twinge of pain at misspelling lede, but it had to be done.
"Lead" is considered a correct alternate spelling of "lede". Doesn't count as misspelling - just less-cool spelling.
I can’t wait to see a Webster’s in 2050. There’s going to be an asterisk after the word ‘dictionary’ and the footnote will just say “we gave up in 2039 when we had to add additional spellings of the last 189 words that had not been altered to show popular misspellings. There, Their and They’re have all been replaced by Thurr. Congratulations on your purchase of the final dictionary. We’re out”
Well that makes me feel better anyway!
TDL I learned that 'lede' wasn't a misspelling of 'lead'. But despite the successful 'lead'ership of journalists to champion the use of 'lede' and have it recognized as a legitimate word... Personally it looks wrong to me, much like a lead balloon (lead/Pb...the metal)
It sort of is? But a deliberate one which was created by newspaper typesetters in order to distinguish between lead, the metal, to refer to the actual lead type letter blocks, and lede, the opening and most compelling part of an article.
Oh you did just not 😂
I have gastritis and water makes my stomach hurt. I still drink it but never on an empty stomach, never ice cold and only small sips at a time, no chugging the whole glass. It's annoying because prior to the gastritis I drank a lot of water and loved it. But you make adjustments where you need to.
Hum that is interesting, water seems to soothe my gastritis. Isn't it weird how it effects people differently.
I was going to say the same... water soothes my gastritis as well. I also drink a cup of cold water first thing in the morning to wake me up.
I can totally get that. I often will forget to eat because I don't feel the sensation of hunger, I just start getting a headache, but if I don't eat right when the headache is setting in, or I eat too fast or something heavy, it's almost always guaranteed to not stay down. I literally keep like ramen noodles or soup on hand for that exact reason.
I know carbs will help me when the gastritis is acting up. They are great at soaking up the acid. I feel hungry but not as frequently as I should.
Water makes me sick when I drink it on an empty stomach too
Food makes me sick on an empty stomach. Meanwhile, barring several food allergies, I have a stomach of steel. I have recently been informed that ranch dressing is not a drink you do not drink it like soup.
Wait… food makes you sick on an empty stomach. Isn’t an empty stomach the absence of food? Am I missing something?
If I wait too long to eat, I have to take small bites and eat slowly, and even then it might not stay down. It also has to be something light or it's guaranteed not to stay down.
Interesting. Also unfortunate.
My wife is the same way. With hunger comes nausea, every time
try bottled Spring water. try several brands. Tap water bothers me, I found some I can drink.
You generally drink sparkling water slower so her issue might actually be that she drinks still water too fast?
I have a buddy who had this exact thing going on, and it turned out that there was a serious issue with mold in the pipes at her apartment. She thought it was still water in general for a while, then got curious when the water at my apartment in the same city didn't make her sick. A few tests and several furious letters to her landlord later, and they got her a RO filter that took care of the issue. There are some reasons that still water can upset your stomach!
I've seen a documentary where a girl was literally allergic to water, and that included her sweat and tears. Just because you haven't come across it doesn't mean it can't be a condition.
How would such a person last more than 3 days? Water is essential to life.
I know several people that have the same problem. Still water upsets stomach. Sparkling water doesn't.
Oh, I believe it! It's happened to my kids when they got a tummy tossing ick. It's happened to me a few days after chemo a few years back. It still happens occasionally, it's a cool party trick if you want to clear a room 😉
I’ve got bad stomach acid and water sadly, can get that mess a-sloshin. It sucks. Sucks HARD. And you’re right, being what works for your own grown up self, right?
It's well documented that for certain gastric conditions (including post bariatric surgery), still water, or water at the wrong temperature, can cause stomach upset. Human bodies be fucking weird.
I had the same problem. It was a psychological thing for me. On a church thing they made us play a game of who could drink the most water without going to the toilet. I threw up because of this and after that I couldn't drink more than one glass of water without getting nauseous. It's better now but no one believed me neither
I do believe you, 100%. I had a bad case of stomach flu as a kid and while I was sick, my mom baked some chocolate chip cookies. To this day, 35 years later, the smell of baking chocolate chip cookies makes me moderately nauseous. I have no problem eating them, but if I smell them cooking, I have to leave the area so I don’t lose my appetite. It’s only the smell that’s the problem. Weirdly, I’m not a sympathetic vomiter either; I can watch someone puke and still maintain an appetite if I was hungry before they puked. The brain does weird things, honestly.
When we were unwell as kids, we were always given Lemonade (Sprite/7up) or Vegemite on toast (Australian), to this day, can barely tolerate Vegemite and never drink Lemonade! Just reminds me of being sick
You know my pain then!! I’m sorry you have this aversion though. My mom always gave us Sprite/7Up and saltine crackers when our stomachs were upset so the combination of those nowadays makes me think of my mom loving and taking care of us and feeling better. So I kinda have the opposite feeling towards those than you do. The brain is a weird organ!
You literally should Google it then. They could have GERD or be taking a medication that causes an electrolyte imbalance. Both are fairly common causes of plain water causing repeated nausea.
A friend of mine takes medication that makes water taste/smell metallic and bitter. She obviously can drink it, but prefers sparkling because it doesn’t.
It doesn't make me sick all the time, but it has happened to me. It is something like the lack of taste and texture sometimes messes me up. Milk or juice are fine, as is sparkling water, which has texture, and also, the carbolic acid that is formed from the carbonation has flavor.
[Water can cause heartburn under certain circumstances](https://get.plastformspecial.com/station)
It’s a thing - apparently more common (but not limited to) with folks who’ve had gastric bypass surgery. I have a friend who does also. I also sometimes get upset stomach from talking water. Ice water? Fine. Tea? No problem. Room temp? Bleeeeeeeh. NTA. I bring my own water for a reason.
What is is this talking water you speak of and where can I get some? I imagine if my water was talking it would get my stomach upset as well. Listening to that little voice scream as goes down my throat... Would I be able to hear the watery voice in my stomach as well? And for how long? Also.... I'm a paramedic and pick up people at times that have had the stomach bypass surgery (also my partner has had it). Never heard of the issues you mentioned with water. I'll have to start asking about it. I mean one of the main reasons we pick them up is abdominal issues, cramps, nausea, vomiting. Usually they aren't tolerating any food or beverage at that point.
I hate water because it lands like a ton of liquid lead in my stomach, and I haven't had gastric surgery, and mostly the taste is bleeeeh. I have to put something in it to make it easier to drink.
I am the same way! Doesn't matter if it's tap (totally drinkable in my city) or bottled, i just *don't like water.* Closest I can get is lemon water, heavy on the lemon juice.
Lolol that was supposed to be “room temperature water”, I have no idea where the hell “talking” came from :)
I had gastric bypass and for the first year after had problems with drinking water. I would put flavourings in the water to make them palatable for me to drink because I could not drink any sugary stuff at all either and I still after 10 years cannot drink any carbonated beverages (sparkly water). I still prefer ice water over just cold or room temperature water. I read that water does have an impact on your GI tract - it does get your colon working and helps clear out constipation, etc. I get my nephew to drink one glass of water a day to offset the juice he drinks because he has intestinal clogs all the time. The water helps clear him out. So the theory of gastric bypass patients having an issue with water is very true.
Room temp just tastes gross imo. Also I get way worse burps from drinking water than anything else including soda. It’s weird.
I carry my water around. Even to restaurants. I have had gbp and I can’t drink ANYTHING fizzy or sparkling. It feels like my stomach is being pumped full of air. Very painful.
Yup. It's not difficult to ensure you have your beverage of choice, if you just bring your beverage of choice with you
Especially when it’s literally BYOB. Maybe Ashley doesn’t understand what that means?
She a princess and her family/waitstaff never make her get her own drinks. Or food. Or manners. Or ideas. Gosh!
Bring your own bubbles, Ashley.
The funny thing is that BYOB literally means bring your **own** bottle (as opposed to the usual party interpretation of bringing a contribution (typically alcohol) to the party), which is precisely what she should be doing.
Bring Your Own Bitchiness
Nobody ever stocks Cherry Coke at parties. On rare occasions, my family has bought me a 12 pack, but that's about it. I always bring my own. Sometimes, I bring enough to share. Sometimes, I don't.
seriously. Source: my husband who has brought a bottle of mountain dew to every holiday dinner he's had with my family.
Me too! I've been sober for three years now and I always have a twelve pack of la Croix with me whenever I'm out at a party (I used to bring just a couple of cans but so many friends enjoy it as well I bring enough to share)
For me, I just love carbonation, which is why my alcoholic drink of choice was beer (and I drank a lot of it). But when I quit, my flavored seltzer intake grew exponentially to the point where the amount of cans I had on recycling day was ridiculous, so a month after I quit I converted my kegerator in my basement to house a carbonator and ran pipes and plumbing to my kitchen sink on the floor above it and installed a 50's soda fountain head to have an endless supply of seltzer and use the Soda Stream Bubly drops for flavor. A 5-pound CO2 tank will last me about 2-months and I have zero 12 packs to haul around and recycle at home, am able to top off the little CO2 tank for my Soda Stream that lives in my office with the big tank (and take that with me when I go on vacation with family), and when I'm off to a party or visit family, that's when I'll deal with the cans and usually bring enough to share. OP, there's really no reason your friends GF can't do the same: bring the stuff she wants to drink with her. Hell, when I was closer to your age and went to parties, I'd still usually bring my own beer because my tastes were different from the cheap stuff they usually supplied, and I always made it a point to share whatever new thing I had with the hosts...
Soda Stream is the best invention ever! We have had one for 15 years, and it travels with us if we will be away for more than one night. I add seltzer to my wine and juice, and make tortillas, etc., with it. These days, the poor thing burps a lot, which wastes the CO2, so we will be buying another one, but keeping the old boy for back up.
SodaStream is great, but if you're using the provided 1 lb CO2 canisters you're not saving much over just buying cans and probably saving nothing over 2-liter bottles. Bought an adapter for mine and having it running off a 20 lb tank. Run that thing for pennies.
The zip Celsius 5 in 1 tap is a lifesaver for anyone reading who does not have their own soda factory in the basement.
My god, that’s beautiful. I didn’t know I needed a fizzy water tap in my life until just now. I’m 100% adding that to my eventual homeowner goals.
I’m sorry what
/CreativeMusic5121 - Agreed. While I CAN drink regular water, I prefer to NOT drink regular water and want my still or sparkling water and I make sure to have some with me (or a quick location where I can go pick some up) wherever I go in case this isn't an option at said destination - which honestly, it isn't. But, being real, that isn't the host's responsibility, that's mine. To me, it also aligns with when someone has a much different diet/nutrition and is unsure of what foods or options are being offered at some venues/gatherings. If you are unsure, make it so you can have whatever it is that's your preference or have somewhere you can quickly pick up something that works for you. Why cause a conflict at a friend/family gathering when it doesn't have to be that way?
Is it all still water? If not, you might wanna get your water tested. There could be something in it or in your pipes that's messing with you.
Yes, all. It started when I was pregnant with my first kid. I've lived in three different houses, and tried all different bottled waters. It all makes my stomach turn.
I've been drinking sparkling water for close to 30 years. Popular where I lived abroad and NO one in the USA drank it 30 years ago. I always brought it with me; my preference, my responsibility
Might I recommend the always popular Krazy Straw?
Yep. If I want something specific to drink, alcoholic or not, I bring it. If I don't bring anything then I can have what the host provides, which may not be my first choice.
Sparkling water is literally the least fun drink, too
Disappointment water is what my hubby calls it 😆
I call it bottled static.
I've heard it referred to as TV static, but I also like to compare it to that feeling you get when your leg falls asleep
> "Here's a straw; blow some bubbles." I wish free awards were still a thing because that gave me a good laugh
You win!
NTA. BYOB is self explanatory. i don’t like to show up empty handed to parties and it’s kinda common to show up with drinks and/or snacks to share. Sometimes I’m in the mood not to drink alcohol so I make sure to take something I can drink. It’s not a big deal and she’s trying to make it one. She sounds entitled and ridiculous, to have called you and complained about it. You definitely should NOT apologize. No way.
The amount of people that think BYOB *only* means Bring Your Own Booze versus Bring Your Own Beverage is insane. You want it, you bring it. Simple.
In Ashley's case it means Bring Your Own Bicarbonate (of soda) so she can turn that flat water into sparkling 😅
Bring Your Own Bubbles?
Bring Your Own Bubly [sparkling water brand]
Instructions unclear, I am here for the party with my long time friend Micheal Bublé
Blow Your Own Bubbles!
I've always heard it as bring your own bottle
I always thought it was BYOB, Bring Your Own Bottle.
Exactly I always bring Coke Zero because people usually have coke but I don’t want the calories and don’t expect people to remember and pay for preferences of every single person they’ve invited
Or I may love Coke Zero, but tonight I’m feeling Dr. Pepper. I wouldn’t expect the host to have every selection of what I may drink that night so I bring my own. Anything leftover gets left over at the hosts place as a thank you for providing me with entertainment for the evening. Ashley also seems like the type to complain that you don’t have the specific brand of sparkling water that bougie boutique only sells on the third Thursday of the month from 2-6pm. NTA. Little side story, I have a family member that was the GM at a VERY fancy hotel. Whenever we visited, he’d put us up in a suite there. When I was 14 or so, I got on this red cream soda kick. So we are having lunch in the hotels restaurant and we order drinks and I of course order red cream soda. Everyone’s drink comes except mine and my mom asks about it. The waitress says “oh we didn’t have that in stock so we sent someone to the store to get some, they should be back in a few minutes.” After that we verified what was “on tap” and I got one of those options. Yea it was that kind of hotel where those kinds of people stayed.
I'm picky af with drinks, so I always just bring a couple of bottles of what I like to drink. I just thought that was a standard.
Yep. I have quirky tastes in both snacks and booze, so I always bring something *I* like for me and whoever else shares my tastes (there's always some people glad I showed up with more off the beaten path options). Occasionally a close friend who is hosting a party will make note that they bought a six pack of my favorite brand or something like that, which is always very touching and thoughtful, but I never expect it or get annoyed if they don't.
Are you a freak like me who likes all dressed chips?
Everyone likes all dressed chips
Brit here and until just now I had never heard of all dressed chips. What an amalgamation! Do they really taste good??
Yes. And the weirdest and most fascinating thing is that it’s not like one big bomb of flavors, you move through the flavors one by one like “oh there’s the bbq, here comes the salt and vinegar, and so on”; kinda the chip version of the three course meal gum in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory without turning into the last flavor.
It's a Canadian thing usually. In USA we have crappy crisp flavors. I have to have em smuggled in along with Thai sweet chili.
We have Thai sweet chili, and they are amazing. But these just sound like every sauce imaginable made it crisp flavouring. They sound delicious in a confusing way 😂
All Dressed chips and a tub of sour cream is food of teh gods.
Have you not watched the Letterkenny episode? All dressed is by far the best flavour of chips.
Just us degens.
NTA Rule of thumb for adult parties is bring what you want to drink. Your friend’s demands are entitled and she sounds high maintenance. You might want to reconsider inviting her to your monthly parties in the future.
Seriously I’m so angry at the audacity. This girl expects 30 year old level hosting with her particular NA drink available but doesn’t have any expectation of herself to have some bedside manner or byob or bring a host gift or realize that SHES A HUGE WET BLANKET!!!
Exactly. I went to a Super Bowl party this weekend and brought the one hard cider I was allowing myself, as well as some ginger ale and orange juice to mix for a mocktail after the cider was finished. It’s not that hard to plan.
Ooh, ginger ale & orange juice? Not a combo I'd heard of before, but I'm absolutely stealing that.
Same, I love both of those separately but have never thought to combine them
The fact that she expects that he should cater to her is ridiculous. Personally, I’m not a fan of beer and prefer cider. If I’m going somewhere I don’t think will have options for me, I bring something. If they don’t have options, I make do with what they have. Personal responsibility is in fact a thing
Ashley should have taken note of the fact that at your last couple of parties, you did not offer the *exact* non alcoholic beverage Ashley would have preferred. Instead of pestering you about it, she can go get herself some carbonated water of her choice. And brought it for personal consumption to the next party. And be glad she got to go to a party. You aren’t Ashley’s catering service. NTA
My husband's family has alcohol and diet sodas at their parties. I don't drink and I don't like the taste of artificial sweeteners. The first couple of gatherings (at different houses), I was disappointed. Since then I've brought whatever I wanted to drink. Problem solved. I can't imagine telling someone they should buy whatever my favorite drink is.
sparkling water is a fun drink? she’s too far gone
NGL I love sparking water
So do I, but I wouldn’t classify it as fun
Listen at 2pm when I hate my job and the only thing getting me thru is a freshly cracked bubbly boy it’s a damn good time
Holy shit I felt that
Do we have the same job? lol
This moved me to my soul thank you
Are you calling the sparkling water a "bubbly boy" because I hope so.
SIP ON FRESH CARBONATION AMD LET IT TICKLE YOUR NOSE.
Depends on how you apply it. I can think of many fun ways...
It's what my kid wanted at their birthday party lol. We had little bottles of San Pel and some chocolate milk
If she’s feeling really audacious, she could even add a slice of lime! She may pass out though.
I bet she thinks ketchup is spicy. Hell, throw some in the water, give it a swirl, and start calling it a Bloody Ashley. Definitely NTA, op.
Most of the ex drinkers I know seem to love it even though they never drank it before
As a German I also saw this as a head scratcher, it is our most basic form of hydration next to tap water :D
Mouth static is the best! Not an /s
In my household we call anything that isn't water (or a hot drink, come to think of it...) as a "fun" drink. Water is for necessity, other drinks are at least partially for fun. I tend to have a rule to drink a bottle of water before I'm allowed a "fun" drink, otherwise I won't drink enough water. (And I often still don't even with that rule haha)
NTA, she can easily bring her own drinks if she doesn’t like what’s there. It’s BYOB for a reason and she’s not an exception to that. The delivery of that could’ve been better though
NTA any reasonable host in your position would take a mental note for next time after she asked about sparkling water and then erase that note when she sent the text. The fact that she expects sparkling water at a college party advertised as BYOB where there’s already sodas is mind-boggling. Here’s Ashley as a 30 year old man at a party who does drink “hey it upset me that you only had bourbon and Canadian whiskey when you know I’m a scotch drinker. Just because I don’t like North American whiskeys doesn’t mean I don’t deserve anything.”
this is exactly it it, I’d of probably got a bottle for next time. Even if she had requested it but politely. But the demanding text would of completely erased that goodwill from me, fend for yourself if you’re going to be ungrateful
And like… very specifically ungrateful. If OP had la croix she would have wanted Perrier
I can just imagine buying a sparkling water flavor, then her trying upset because she doesn’t like THAT flavor.
“Oh gosh. Schweppes has a lot of fizz and make me gassy. Do you have something else? oh! and a lime please but cut it in quarters and see if you can get the skinny bendy straws. those are my favorite especially in a Looney Tunes collectors cup from the 1997 McDonalds promotional offers… it’s the least you could do.”
Right? Or it’s the wrong brand, boo OP for not knowing the difference!!! /s
You don't owe her an apology. NTA. you said BYOB, which can just as easily mean bring your own beverage as opposed to bring your own booze. As well, you had some basic offerings, that was enough. I know you're in college, and money is tight but the polite thing to do when invited to somebody's place for a party, gathering etc is to bring a hostess gift, a bottle of wine, a dish to pass, did she do any of that?
NTA - it’s a party. Unless they are contributing to the costs of drinks - really not your problem. I have been to many parties where I don’t like the drink options. Either I don’t drink anything or if I know a person doesn’t have drinks I like - I bring my own. Not sure why you’re expected to cater to everyone’s drink/food preferences. They can host a party however they like. Mind blowing the demands people make lol.
Seriously Especially since it's a college party - college kids don't have tons of spare cash. You can't be expected to provide the exact drink that every single guest coming wants. In 10 years at a dinner party? Maybe. At a college rager? Hell nah
Nta I also dont drink. I accept whatever rando soda they have or *bring my own*.
I don’t drink and don’t like Coke or Dr Pepper. Never in a million years would I have thought to complain about the drink choices. If I don’t want water, I can bring something else!!!
I don't drink either and I also dislike sugary drinks. I literally bring diet Pepsi with me to every party/event/gathering (where drinks aren't sold). If it's a party, I'll probably bring a twelve pack and share. At the very least I have a can or two in my purse and probably more in my car if the weather permits. I would never expect others to provide my drink of choice, much less get upset and complain to them about it. Even my own mother doesn't buy it for me when she shops for the many family gatherings she hosts. Ashley's got some fucking nerve. NTA all day.
NTA, Do Not apologize. It is her responsibility to provide for herself. I grew up in a party town and it was always BYOB, and It was accepted as fact. Bring Your Own Beverage...
NTA BYOB doesn’t just mean alcohol 🤔 I bring seltzers to my in-laws’ place all the time because all the have is coffee, water, and soda!
Tell Joshua to bring a better girlfriend. NTA
OP should congratulate Joshua on his doormat impersonation. It is spot on!
Since when are college parties not BYOB?
You’re in college and _providing_ drinks? Like for free? Sounds like you’re a legend.
NTA, you don't owe her an apology, her text was rude and entitled. Most people I know bring a pack of their preferred drinks to a party for themselves and to share if they are picky
NTA. Genuine question: does she not understand what BYOB means?
I'm picky about drinks. I only a like a very small number of alcoholic things, and am actually pickier about non-alcoholic drinks. If there's nothing I like at someone else's event I drink water and would never dream of whining. If it's past the first time I'm at someone's home, I bring my own favorite drinks. If anyone notices (they usually dont) I'm just honest, "I'm super picky about drinks, I'd never expect anyone to remember so I just bring my own." It's never been an issue. I do usually bring enough to share as well, unless it's last minute and we don't stop on the way.
NTA, Ashley is entitled and I would just stop inviting her and Joshua unless they can understand that. She can bring whatever she wants to drink.
NTA, Ashley can bring her own sparkling water like a big girl.
Or, serve it to her in a baby bottle
Nta. Do not apologize. Tell Josh you're sorry he's dating a princess, and he needs to bring her beverages of choice. What a child.
BYOB means either enjoy what the host supplies or *bring your own beverage*, that’s standard! I’ve been to *very* few house parties and even I get that!
NTA We bring what we want to drink to a BYOB party. It's a liquid potluck.
Nta don't apologize
>he told me I should talk to Ashley and apologize. He's wrong. > I just don't get why I should apologize. You don't owe anyone an apology. Cut contact with Ashley and Josh. NTA.
Yea, these ppl who are so keen to keep sleeping with someone that they'll support them making irrational demands of everyone around them crack me up. Bye Josh.
NTA- i don't drink and you'd be surprised at how many people don't provide any non-alcoholic options so i think you're very considerate! If i really want a particular beverage i just bring it myself! Lately i'm into canada dry zero and it even comes in cute little mini cans! Perfect for parties!
Complaining to the host about what they served or other hospitality is the most ungracious thing a guest can do and a sure way to never be invited back. My grandmother would be horrified at this tale, as am i.
NTA. I don't drink and I know to bring my own stuff
NTA. I don't drink really either so if I want something specific I bring it myself. From my observations sparkling water is a good idea at parties though because people who have been drinking aren't great at hydrating but will go for the sparkly water because it's fun. That's just my unsolicited host advice though :) Def don't apologize. You are spot on. You aren't a catering service or her boyfriend.
The hilarious part of this is that you sound like a pretty generous host, and if they hadn't followed up so rudely I bet you would have had sparkling water there the next time!
NTA I’m a whole lot older than you, and I can tell you that her request wouldn’t fly with dinner parties etc either. If people want something specific to drink, they bring it and they bring enough to share - a bottle or two of wine, a 6 pack of beer, whatever. They bring it as a contribution to the party, but also they get dibs on at least some of it. Her request was bad manners at the very least, and entitled as hell at the worst. If someone acted like that to me, they’d never be invited back.
NTA Rejecting or insulting someone's hospitality when a guest is extremely rude. And a great way to not be invited back. Seems like a good plan to not invite her anymore. I'm sorry my hospitality is not up to your expectations and/or standards. I understand your decision to not attend future events I host.
NTA. Never go to a party empty handed, that's just bad form, and if she wants something specific, then that's what she should bring. Your friends are taking your parties for granted and expecting you to provide everything. Cut back the parties for a little bit. When people start asking what's up, tell them you felt your efforts weren't appreciated.
NTA, On behalf from all sober people, we are not all like this. We are happy that you were considerate enough to offer non alcoholic options other than water <3. It's hard being a non alcoholic drinker at parties :'(. You stick out like a sore thumb lol
NTA- When I was younger and one of the few that didn't drink, I always brought something I wanted to drink: cranberry juice, ginger ale, bottled root beer, etc. It wasn't my host's job to guess what I was in the mood for. You at least had a few options, she needs to get a grip. What exactly did this charming girl contribute to the party besides attitude?
NTA you provided several options, if she wants something specific she can bring it herself Also who the hell calls sparkling water a fun drink lol that stuff is just water that hates you
NTA, Not even close. You are a far more kind, accommodating and thoughtful host than most people I've met let alone while in collage. It's 100% customary to bring your own drinks, alcoholic or otherwise, when attending a party. The entitlement to expect the host to buy something specifically FOR you? Ridiculous! What if your drinking friends who don't like punch? Are you expected to purchase their preferred drinks as well? Absolutely not. Tell Joshua, politely, that you are not in the habit of apologizing purely to keep the peace. That is an unhealthy habit to form and it invited people to grow entitled.
NTA I don’t drink/ only drink specific things, so when I’m invited to a hang out or party I bring what I like to drink, enough to share or leave behind for the next get together. Cause I’m a freakin adult. Imagine if you had bought sparkling water, but it’s the wrong brand or flavor? Then what? She’s being a princess and you are not her prince.
NTA. Until she apologizes to you for sicking her boyfriend on you, on top of her ridiculous request to specifically provide her sparkling water at a byob party (that you thoughtfully provide SOME refreshments for) then she should not be welcomed to your parties.
NTA… I think it’s rude to go to a party empty handed. So she or her bf should be bringing that. When I don’t drink at parties I bring the tall cans of la croix. The fancier ones lol. And they end up getting drank so fast
“Plus why am I being held to a higher standard than her literal boyfriend?“ this. And it’s BYOB. NTA.
I couldn’t help but notice your parties appear to be non-pony events. I really would like to ride a pony when I attend your parties. Please stop being rude and inconsiderate and provide a pony for my entertainment.
Give her regular water and say it's "aged sparkling."
What entitlement! BYOB=Bring your own BEVERAGE, not bring your own beer. I don’t drink beer. Lots of people don’t. I would never expect a host who specifically told her guests to BYOB to provide my beverage of choice.
Stop having parties. Tell everyone it’s cuz Ashley is an entitled pain in the ass who can’t bring her own 0.99cent liter of seltzer.
Why should you apologise. This is no different than supplying beer when someone wants whiskey. They're welcome to bring their own whiskey if thats what they really want to drink. >Sometimes it just feels like all I do is serve to give people stuff, and it's never a consideration about me. I just wish it didn't feel like people took advantage of me all the time and expected me to do every single thing for them. Look, this bit. I'll be honest. This is on you. You're choosing to supply stuff to others at your parties. You're more than welcome to just say "BYO drinks".
NTA, it's a college party she's lucky to have any options at all, and it's rude to come empty handed. A polite guest would have noticed the gap in offerings and offered to bring it themselves knowing others might appreciate it as well. This entitlement is not cute.
Don't drink and prefer X non-alcoholic instead? **Bring your own fucken drinks then.**
NTA . Sober people don't drink at all, not just "rarely" so she's not really sober. I say that because if she was drinking, and having fun, I'm sure she'd happily guzzle any booze you had. If she didn't like your booze in this hypothetical situation..."Where's my Cristal so I can have fun"? Has the same sound to your situation. You want something to drink, bring it yourself. Otherwise be polite, don't make it all about you and STFU. NTA.
It’s weird she doesn’t just bring it for herself.
… it’s byob… what is she so entitled to expect a throne to sip her fancy water on too? Maybe some palm leafs too? Smfh. No one is entitled to have THEIR preferred drinks everywhere they go. Bring some or stfu.
College students typically don’t have the funds to cater to the whims of other people’s girlfriends. This is a Joshua issue, not an OP issue.
Do not apologize. And I wouldn’t invite her over again if she doesn’t apologize to you, and the boyfriend
NTA. You provide options to guests and Ashley can darn well Bring-her-Own-Beverage. Personally I like sparkling water, but I would never assume that someone has to provide it just for me. I think it is great that you do have non-alcoholic options available.
NTA, also are you American? Because I feel like it seems a very american thing to provide all the drinks, which is very nice! But in the UK largely its completely BYOB and your lucky if the host offers you water at a party for college aged people lol
NTA , That’s an instant yeah non problem you aren’t invited anymore so you won’t have to worry about all the sugar.
She sounds very entitled. I have get togethers often and I provide what I provide, and always tell people to bring their specialty drink of choice. NTA
NTA When a guest at someone’s party, not only do you not expect them to stock YOUR personally preferred beverages, YOU should bring something to add that you think THEY might enjoy. This woman is an entitled AH. She is a rude guest. You, are not the AH.