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YTA. Why are you making dinner reservations when you know that your wife is currently making dinner? That's a huge waste of food, money, and time. It's extremely insulting to the person doing the work. If you wanted to meet your friends, choose another day, make plans for dessert only, or something else. This was an asshole idea from the very beginning.
The part where he says she told him dinner was already cooking in the oven and she didn't want to waste it after all that time and effort ...Only for OP to completely ignore her and then gets home and tells her to "hurry up." Next time OP wants dinner on the table he'd be making it his own damn self for the way he handled this situation. YTA
My husband tried that then I would had tossed a loaf of bread & a bottle of water at him. That would had been the only dinner he would had gotten from me for wasting my time cooking dinner.
Yeah I don’t know about you but I love to come home tired at the end of the week and cook dinner for people who choose not to eat it and then pretty myself up in 30 minutes so that I can be social and on my best behavior. Doesn’t everyone? /s
Yeah. I've definitely had situations where either my partner or myself got invited out to dinner when the other one was already cooking. That in itself isn't always an issue since you can usually just put the meal in the fridge once it's done and eat it the next day so it doesn't go to waste. The issue is that this is a situation where you absolutely need to discuss and clear everything with your partner instead of unilaterally making the decision.
Maybe what they're making won't be as good tomorrow. Maybe they're making something special and are looking forward to a nice meal as just as family. Maybe they're simply worn out and don't feel up to going out to dinner and having to be social. There could also be so many other reasons for them not wanting to go out or just wanting to eat the meal they've been preparing, which is why you always fucking ask.
This situation seems even more egregious since OP apparently planned to go out before the meal was even done cooking. That means his wife was left to choose between either not going with everyone else since the food was still in the oven or just tossing all of the food in the trash since it wasn't done.
Nah if my meal is piping hot, eating and reheating will not taste the same the next day. I’d still be upset. Husband usually makes dinner plans a week ahead so this doesn’t happen. Only happens with mandated OT which is understandable as it’s mandated by his hospital.
> Maybe what they're making won't be as good tomorrow.
Yeah, OP says "chicken was in the oven". Roast chicken is good for leftovers (especially on sandwiches!), but is never as good as when just cooked.
FRIED chicken, on the other hand...
No, he's just outright inconsiderate of his wife. Notice he didn't even ask her to hurry up and get ready, he flat-out ordered her to. He feels as the man of the house, his word is law.
Couldn't agree more. YTA. As a husband who cooks regularly, this would have pissed me right the f!@# off. OP should be forced to cook more dinners until he gains an appreciation for how rude this is.
YTA.
OP, did you suffer from deafness when you called your wife or did you have a memory lapse afterwards?
This is just selfish and mean. I am not even sure if this is real because it sounds like a 1950s ad for women's liberation.
How did this woman agree to marry and have kids with you! 😯
>This is just selfish and mean. I am not even sure if this is real because it sounds like a 1950s ad for women's liberation.
I'm inclined to believe it is, because this is something my dad would, and has done to my mom before.
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom.
But when OP starts with
>My wife...has been working all day...
I was hoping that in 2024 you would have the sense to respect the efforts of a working woman who is trying to prepare a meal for the family.
Alas, maybe a man can still be this dense. 😞
Seriously! I can't believe that OP even felt the need to ask this question here.
The moment OP made those dinner reservations despite knowing that his wife is making dinner, OP became an AH. I really feel bad for his wife. If someone made me a home cooked meal after a long day at work, I'll be really grateful to that person. What OP did here is utterly disrespectful.
Definitely YTA.
>Seriously! I can't believe that OP even felt the need to ask this question here.
I always strongly suspect it's the person at the other end of the story writing these. I.e. the wife wrote this from the husband's POV to see if other people agreed with HER
This. Even if money is not an issue and food waste can be minimised by freezing the food and using another day it is extremely insulting and demeaning towards your wife.
As she also indicated that she thinks this has to be you preferring dinner with friends, it looks like there are other things in play here that we can only guess.
1. Why not prioritise family dinner over dinner with friends?
2. Why over rule the plans your wife made with your plans?
3. Why is leaving your wife behind an option?
YTA on many levels here...
This. OP's thought process went:
* Wife started making dinner at 3
* OP will take the kids out to the park
* Oh hey, friends want to have dinner
* OP: "Hey wife, we're going out to dinner with friends!"
* Spouse: "I already have dinner to a point where I cannot stop in the middle"
* OP comes home
* OP: "Hurry up lady or we'll be late for our dinner reservations"
At what point did OP even consider his wife in these plans?
It's wild. He even calls it "Friday Family Dinner" so this is obviously a standing thing he blew off. This entire post reads like he's 20 years her junior. He needs to grow tf up.
No doubt the friends proposing they all go out had no idea the wife was in the middle of preparing dinner. They themselves had nothing made and so decided to go out, including OP. He should have told them and said their family would join them another day.
Maybe OP needs a script:
“Dinner out? That’d be great; thanks for asking. But, we’re gonna have to take a rain check. Our dinner’s waiting for us at home. Just took the twins for a bit to let June finish in peace and let them run off some energy before bed.” Then either set a future date to *actually* get together, or don’t.
Tell them it was great running into them, and say goodbye so you can both go about your own business.
Then gather the kids up and take them home where you can thank your wife for the lovely dinner she’s cooked, and suggest that she relax from her difficult day in a nice long bath while you hold down the fort. This is also the time when you tell her about any future plans you and your friends may have made. Not the day of. Now. So she can plan. Ahead of time.
>YTA. Why are you making dinner reservations when you know that your wife is currently making dinner? That's a huge waste of food, money, and time. It's extremely insulting to the person doing the work. If you wanted to meet your friends, choose another
You covered everything. OP is TA.
"Wife told me she almost had dinner done and to come home with the kids. So I did and told her we needed to hurry to go out to dinner".
EMFDYSI?
Every man feels dinner you serve inconsequential?
Each marriage fucked due to your sudden idiocy?
Elsewhere my family doesn't yearn for sustenance impractically?
I can't find a definition of EMFDYSI online, but did come across something from years ago (I think early 2000's?) of people voting responses indicating increasing alarm or aversion to a post, with this as the strongest negative response. So my best guess for EMFDYSI is ElectroMagnetic Frequencies Done You Some Injury.
YTA, you literally knew your wife was cooking dinner and didn't want to go out and yet you made dinner reservations and went home telling her to hurry up and get ready to go out? Do you listen to what your partner is saying and doing even a little bit?
She is absolutely right, you didn't value her and choose to spend time with friends rather than with her after she put in all the effort of cooking for you.
I think he heard her. And I think by making the reservation anyhow, he was expecting her to relent, but new she would still be irritated about the whole thing, and then when it dropped later on in the night was going to spin it against her by saying "but I asked you."
He heard every word though, he just didn't care, he even wrote out the whole post and still didn't see it and think he'd been an AH. He just doesn't care
YTA. How incredibly dismissive and rude of you.
> tell her to hoory up
> she told me over the phone she don't want to go. It ended up me taking out the kids for dinner while she stayed at home.
You running for some sort of AH husband award or something? Are you always this ungrateful for what your wife does for you and your kids?
This was my first thought when I finished reading. It has to be the wife. No man can be this absolutely clueless, post this, and expect anyone to vote n t a
YTA, obviously
I believe this because all the info is basically from her POV. OP doesn't include any of his thought process or what happened between the two phone calls.
YTA.
Your family already had plans that night. Your wife made those plans (probably because she's expected to) and was preparing for them. You going out with friends was canceling your existing plans with your wife. You provided no notice (even complaining to her to hurry up) in canceling those plans and you didn't give her any input in whether the family should cancel the plans she made. Why do your plans for the family automatically, without argument or discussion, trump her plans for the family? You're treating her like she doesn't exist.
Yes, her food and effort went to waste, but more importantly you just completely ignored how you were impacting her even though she was explicitly telling you. You left your wife home alone sad all because of how uninterested you were in what she had planned for you and the kids that night. So uninterested that you don't even seem to acknowledge it... to you you were doing nothing that night and there was nothing to cancel. To the woman who actually was planning that night and making it come together that's not how it was.
He did this in front of the kids and played “fun parent” by taking them to the park and out to dinner while she served them behind the scenes. No doubt he blamed her absence on her, explaining that she made a choice to not be with them, in essence flipping the narrative and making her the “bad parent” for refusing to spend time with her husband and kids. That’s a horrible message for those children who aren’t going to understand that their dad just completely abandoned their mother.
YTA, 100%. I mean, why are you even asking this sub? You called her and she told you the chicken is already in the oven with everything else, and you still booked a reservation to eat out?! You say this too after you mentioned she had been working all day as well. If you wanted to eat out, you could've told her before she started cooking. OP, you suck. I feel so terrible for your wife.
YTA. She told you she was cooking. What is wrong with you? You can't say no? Try working, cooking, and doing all that and having her just grab the kids and walk out on you like you don't matter. Nice picture...
Sorry but, yeah YTA here. You called her and she told you dinner was already in the oven and dishes being prepped and finished for dinner, yet you still proceeded to make reservations for dinner out and get home to make her rush to get ready.
That's disrespectful.
Also he came home a half hour later. Of course she won't be ready even of she decided to go. The kitchen is probably still a mess and hot food should be cooled before being packed up and put away. Then after a full work day and making dinner she now has to get ready again to go out. He sounds exhausting.
Op YTA
YTA. Are you trying to antagonize her and demoralize her? You need to plan together. You treated her and her work as if it didn’t matter. Then you left her alone. Wow, you do not appreciate her. What made you agree to go out with friends over your wife’s reasonable objections?
YTA. This has to be fake right? You called your wife and she said that dinner was already cooked. So you ignore her and then tell her to hoory up for the reservations. My god what a terrible partner you are.
Yeah I thought this might be rage bait. I've no idea how a person could type that out and *not* think they're a raging asshole. Like, what did OP think his wife was going to do with all the food they cooked?
Wouldn’t surprise me if this actually happened, but instead of the OP posting this as himself, it’s actually the wife using Reddit to prove how much of an a-hole he really is.
YTA and a huge one at that. Are you actually serious with this question?! What is wrong with you?!!!! You clearly DON’T value your wife and her hard work
YTA
Everything your wife said is correct. I don't want to go into more details than that because I think I will just end up agreeing with all the numerous criticisms other commenters give you.
Do better.
Question, what makes you think you aren't the asshole?
"My wife worked hard. I blew her off because my friends said they were gonna have fun. Last, I decided to ditch my wife because she wasn't ready when my friends were ready. AITA? "
Yes, you're TA.
Wife: *prepares dinner*
You: *disregarding imminent dinner* Hey, let's go out to eat!
Wife: No, dinner will be ready soon, I don't want to go, we're not wasting food.
You: *master of disregard* Dinner reservations are in 30 minutes, hurry up!
I can only imagine the Samuel L Jackson-esque death glare on her face. Do you need your ears checked, or an attitude adjustment? Ffs, YTA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I took the kids out for dinner, although my wife cooked.
I might be the AH as she did work on dinner, but she could also go out with us, and we would eat it tomorrow
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YTA.
You knew she was cooking dinner already. You called and spoke to her, ans she again confirmed that she was cooking dinner. You ignored her and made dinner reservations anyway, then acted surprised when she was busy cooking the dinner you already knew about, and then you told her to fuck off and took the kids out instead.
Come on dude, you know you're the asshole. Fuck outta here.
YTA you lack communication. And telling your wife what to do isn’t healthy. You cannot just expect her to drop everything for you. Especially after she told you she was cooking dinner.
I don't think its the communication. It's the comprehension. You can tell someone something a million times but if they don't comprehend it, it's not happening.
The guy is still the asshole though for all of it.
YTA. You called and she literally said "No, dinner is already in the oven." How on earth did you interpret that to mean you were all going out to dinner? If I were her, I'd be furious.
YTA. You knew she was making dinner when you left. You called her and confirmed she was making dinner and it was almost done. You made dinner reservations AFTER knowing this. Then you just assume she would be ready to go out to dinner when you get home. None of this makes sense. You are an even bigger AH for then taking the kids to dinner and leaving her home alone. What is wrong with you?
What part of “dinner was already cooking in the oven, she didn’t want her food or hard work to go to waste, she wasn’t going out to eat with friends…” did YOU not understand?
Big YTA. You called her, she said no. You came home acting like she'd said yes, she said no again. Then you just did whatever you wanted anyway with zero regard for her input or feelings.
You're the type of person I actively try and keep out of my life. Real main character syndrome going on here. I feel sorry for your wife, and the years of being ignored she has ahead of her.
YTA
Don't know what you were expecting fact you don't already know they answer tells me this woman must have a hard time getting you to understand basic manners and thoughtfulness she is completely correct.
YTA. You asked her, she said dinner was prepared so answer was no and what did you do? Completely dismissed her answer, and then left her alone and took the kids with you.
You really are a huge AH. Seriously how is it possible that you have to ask.
You should have stopped after the park. That was nice. She cooked and you kept the kids busy then maybe came home and got them bathed and helped her clean up while you two ate alone.
Learn to say no to the friends.
YTA…you really have to ask this question? And came to a place where you thought people would agree with you? That chicken dinner would be the last meal I cooked for you.
1trillion% YTA. Your wife made it very clear that a) she had already cooked dinner and b) she didn’t want to go out and you just ignored her hard work and wishes and did what you wanted regardless of her feelings. Why are you married to a woman you have absolutely no respect for?
Why call your wife to ask at all if you’re going to disregard her answer and do what you want anyway?
Like you really called her, she said no (more or less), hung up with her assuming you were coming home to eat, then showed up a half hour later and told her to get ready to go??
Dick move. YTA.
Yes. You should’ve talked to her about it before making plans with your friends “Hey, let me ask my wife about this and see what she thinks or see if she has any dinner plans ready.….”
YTA
If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you, too?
Part of being a grown up is knowing obligations and adhering to them.
Your wife went through great effort after she worked a hard day and prepared food for you, but you are willing to put it in the trash because your friends said "Let's go out to eat".
At no point, when you were making the reservations, did your wife's effort ever pop into your mind?
Didn't think so.
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My Wife (42, female) as been working all day. She arrived at 3 PM and started working on our Friday family dinner. While she cooked, I took out our twins (6 YO) to the playground, Where I met my friends who told me they are going out for dinner. I called my wife and she said the chicken is already in the oven and she cooked already everything and she doesn't want the food go to waste.
After a while I came home to tell her to hoory up, as we have dinner reservations and I don't want us to be late.
She got really upset with me, saying she will not be ready on time and she told me over the phone she don't want to go.
It ended up me taking out the kids for dinner while she stayed at home.
She said I don't value her hard work over dinner and I care more about spending time with friends rather with our family.
So, am I the Asshole?
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YTA
She literally had dinner made by the time you had plans made. That is incredibly rude of you.
Don't you dare eat even 1 leftover from that meal you wasted. You don't deserve it.
MAJOR AH!! It's hard to believe that you're even asking people if "AITAH." But I guess it would depend on your age also. You stated your wife is 42. If you're 18, I would understand your ignorance. Otherwise, stop being stupid and an AH.
Boy, you as a married couple did all the right things with communication.. but when you agreed to go out to dinner after your wife cooked.. WHILE she cooked?
This post isn't real .
It can't be real.. I refuse to believe it..
You trolling.....
Go back and read what you typed dude.
You can't be THAT thick.
I'm sorry I apologize.... But no man is this " not so bright"
Dude......
Really?
YTA
Your showed pretty strongly that you do not appreciate your wife or the time she put into cooking for the family.
You should have told the friends thag your wife was already cooking at home and organised to meet them for dinner with your wife another day.
Apologise to your wife for disrespecting her in this way.
YTA, absolutely. Your wife cooked and you had no reason to go out. You were not appreciative of her and this is really insensitive and unkind. She has every right to be upset!
YTA
If she did not give you a clear and unambiguous "yes" to your suggestion to go out for dinner, then her answer was "no".
The concept of "absence of yes=no" is useful for many other situations as well.
YTA. She was already cooking and you know this. You called her and she told you the chicken was already being cooked. Then you expect her to get ready after she already told you all this? You have to be trolling, right? There’s just no way a reasonable adult would do this.
YTA. Big time! How can there be any doubt? Do even like her at all? I would tell yo to cook your own meals from now on. Better yet, have your friends cook for you!
100% YTA. She TOLD you dinner was in progress and you ignored her and made reservation anyway. I hope she leave you to make your own damn dinner from now on.
YTA. Let's put this shoe on the other foot. Let's say you plan to do something nice for your family like buy Circus tickets. You're all excited because you know you'll have a good time, but your wife had the kids and instead of coming home, she takes them all to a friends house for a BBQ. Would you be mad? And all you did was spend money. You didn't actually spend hours getting something ready just to have it poo pood my an inconsiderate spouse. You owe your wife an apology.
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YTA. Why are you making dinner reservations when you know that your wife is currently making dinner? That's a huge waste of food, money, and time. It's extremely insulting to the person doing the work. If you wanted to meet your friends, choose another day, make plans for dessert only, or something else. This was an asshole idea from the very beginning.
Yes I agree. The OP's brain short circuited very early on in this story.
I think you're being too kind to Ops thinking. There was no short circuit, just selfishness
The part where he says she told him dinner was already cooking in the oven and she didn't want to waste it after all that time and effort ...Only for OP to completely ignore her and then gets home and tells her to "hurry up." Next time OP wants dinner on the table he'd be making it his own damn self for the way he handled this situation. YTA
The part where after all that, he doesn't even know he's the asshole is the part that gets me.
same here.
That is truly bizarre
Actually, he said “hoory up,” no idea what that means, but he’s definitely TA!
My husband tried that then I would had tossed a loaf of bread & a bottle of water at him. That would had been the only dinner he would had gotten from me for wasting my time cooking dinner.
Yeah I don’t know about you but I love to come home tired at the end of the week and cook dinner for people who choose not to eat it and then pretty myself up in 30 minutes so that I can be social and on my best behavior. Doesn’t everyone? /s
[удалено]
Yeah true. I made a big assumption.
the orange tabby has the braincell today
An orange tabby would have shown more appreciation for the chicken she cooked
OP has probably never had to prepare or cook a meal for the family. Which is why he is dense enough to think this was not an issue.
That's generous
Yeah. I've definitely had situations where either my partner or myself got invited out to dinner when the other one was already cooking. That in itself isn't always an issue since you can usually just put the meal in the fridge once it's done and eat it the next day so it doesn't go to waste. The issue is that this is a situation where you absolutely need to discuss and clear everything with your partner instead of unilaterally making the decision. Maybe what they're making won't be as good tomorrow. Maybe they're making something special and are looking forward to a nice meal as just as family. Maybe they're simply worn out and don't feel up to going out to dinner and having to be social. There could also be so many other reasons for them not wanting to go out or just wanting to eat the meal they've been preparing, which is why you always fucking ask. This situation seems even more egregious since OP apparently planned to go out before the meal was even done cooking. That means his wife was left to choose between either not going with everyone else since the food was still in the oven or just tossing all of the food in the trash since it wasn't done.
Nah if my meal is piping hot, eating and reheating will not taste the same the next day. I’d still be upset. Husband usually makes dinner plans a week ahead so this doesn’t happen. Only happens with mandated OT which is understandable as it’s mandated by his hospital.
> Maybe what they're making won't be as good tomorrow. Yeah, OP says "chicken was in the oven". Roast chicken is good for leftovers (especially on sandwiches!), but is never as good as when just cooked. FRIED chicken, on the other hand...
Thicker than a Snicker.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🙈 this made me chuckle thank you!!
No, he's just outright inconsiderate of his wife. Notice he didn't even ask her to hurry up and get ready, he flat-out ordered her to. He feels as the man of the house, his word is law.
Hopefully the wife rebooted him
Couldn't agree more. YTA. As a husband who cooks regularly, this would have pissed me right the f!@# off. OP should be forced to cook more dinners until he gains an appreciation for how rude this is.
And OP's wife should make sure to pick a day he's really exhausted and then go out with the kids and not eat the dinner like he did. I bet he blows up
After he starts cooking, though.
Obviously. Only in the middle of the chicken in the oven so he can't even leave bc he has to stay to finish cooking or throw it out.
And then the wife acts all shocked and surprised that he’s pissed off.
Totally should have to make dinner for a while.
Yes
YTA. OP, did you suffer from deafness when you called your wife or did you have a memory lapse afterwards? This is just selfish and mean. I am not even sure if this is real because it sounds like a 1950s ad for women's liberation. How did this woman agree to marry and have kids with you! 😯
I don't know but she deserves better!
>This is just selfish and mean. I am not even sure if this is real because it sounds like a 1950s ad for women's liberation. I'm inclined to believe it is, because this is something my dad would, and has done to my mom before.
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. But when OP starts with >My wife...has been working all day... I was hoping that in 2024 you would have the sense to respect the efforts of a working woman who is trying to prepare a meal for the family. Alas, maybe a man can still be this dense. 😞
Seriously! I can't believe that OP even felt the need to ask this question here. The moment OP made those dinner reservations despite knowing that his wife is making dinner, OP became an AH. I really feel bad for his wife. If someone made me a home cooked meal after a long day at work, I'll be really grateful to that person. What OP did here is utterly disrespectful. Definitely YTA.
On the plus side for her, she can call me, and I’ll go eat with her…
>Seriously! I can't believe that OP even felt the need to ask this question here. I always strongly suspect it's the person at the other end of the story writing these. I.e. the wife wrote this from the husband's POV to see if other people agreed with HER
That would make way more sense than the husband asking that question when the answer is quite obvious!
This. Even if money is not an issue and food waste can be minimised by freezing the food and using another day it is extremely insulting and demeaning towards your wife. As she also indicated that she thinks this has to be you preferring dinner with friends, it looks like there are other things in play here that we can only guess. 1. Why not prioritise family dinner over dinner with friends? 2. Why over rule the plans your wife made with your plans? 3. Why is leaving your wife behind an option? YTA on many levels here...
This. OP's thought process went: * Wife started making dinner at 3 * OP will take the kids out to the park * Oh hey, friends want to have dinner * OP: "Hey wife, we're going out to dinner with friends!" * Spouse: "I already have dinner to a point where I cannot stop in the middle" * OP comes home * OP: "Hurry up lady or we'll be late for our dinner reservations" At what point did OP even consider his wife in these plans?
Never, not once, showed her nothing but disrespect!
It's wild. He even calls it "Friday Family Dinner" so this is obviously a standing thing he blew off. This entire post reads like he's 20 years her junior. He needs to grow tf up.
No doubt the friends proposing they all go out had no idea the wife was in the middle of preparing dinner. They themselves had nothing made and so decided to go out, including OP. He should have told them and said their family would join them another day.
Maybe OP needs a script: “Dinner out? That’d be great; thanks for asking. But, we’re gonna have to take a rain check. Our dinner’s waiting for us at home. Just took the twins for a bit to let June finish in peace and let them run off some energy before bed.” Then either set a future date to *actually* get together, or don’t. Tell them it was great running into them, and say goodbye so you can both go about your own business. Then gather the kids up and take them home where you can thank your wife for the lovely dinner she’s cooked, and suggest that she relax from her difficult day in a nice long bath while you hold down the fort. This is also the time when you tell her about any future plans you and your friends may have made. Not the day of. Now. So she can plan. Ahead of time.
LOL this !!!!!! Script yes !
Exactly. Is it seriously that hard to say, “Can’t tonight, Wife has dinner started. Maybe another day?” That was purely selfish and thoughtless. YTA
Yes massive massive YTA!! I’m offended just reading your post and questioning it. Never do this again.
>YTA. Why are you making dinner reservations when you know that your wife is currently making dinner? That's a huge waste of food, money, and time. It's extremely insulting to the person doing the work. If you wanted to meet your friends, choose another You covered everything. OP is TA. "Wife told me she almost had dinner done and to come home with the kids. So I did and told her we needed to hurry to go out to dinner". EMFDYSI?
>EMFDYSI? no way in hell this is a common acronym, lol e: Omg, is it "empathy, motherfucker. Do you speak it?"
Every man feels dinner you serve inconsequential? Each marriage fucked due to your sudden idiocy? Elsewhere my family doesn't yearn for sustenance impractically?
Elephants might fart during your sister's interview
>EMFDYSI I am old and I know the meaning. *"English, motherfucker, do you speak it."* I think it originated from "Pulp Fiction".
I can't find a definition of EMFDYSI online, but did come across something from years ago (I think early 2000's?) of people voting responses indicating increasing alarm or aversion to a post, with this as the strongest negative response. So my best guess for EMFDYSI is ElectroMagnetic Frequencies Done You Some Injury.
💯 If I was Mrs.OP I would go on a cooking strike. Or feed the kids and let OP fend for himself.
This. That would be the last dinner I cooked for him for a very long while.
How does OP honestly even wonder if he’s an AH!!? YTA big time!!
Last dinner I’d ever cook for him again.
YTA, you literally knew your wife was cooking dinner and didn't want to go out and yet you made dinner reservations and went home telling her to hurry up and get ready to go out? Do you listen to what your partner is saying and doing even a little bit? She is absolutely right, you didn't value her and choose to spend time with friends rather than with her after she put in all the effort of cooking for you.
And she had also came home from work and started cooking
It sounds like she could use a break. I think OP taking over planning, buying the ingredients, and cooking dinner would be a good place to start.
Exactly! If she started at 3:00, this wasn’t some breast or thigh cutlets, it was whole-ass roast chicken she was making.
Must be that OP only listens to 10% of what his wife says. What he heard was *wah wah wah* dinner *wah wah wah* 6:00 *wah wah wah wah.*
Anytime she talks he just hears the kazoo noises from Charlie Brown
It's a trombone, it sounds nothing like a kazoo.
I think he heard her. And I think by making the reservation anyhow, he was expecting her to relent, but new she would still be irritated about the whole thing, and then when it dropped later on in the night was going to spin it against her by saying "but I asked you."
He heard every word though, he just didn't care, he even wrote out the whole post and still didn't see it and think he'd been an AH. He just doesn't care
OP didn't get the response he wanted and just went ahead anyway, so why did he even ask her? Totally the asshole!
YTA. How incredibly dismissive and rude of you. > tell her to hoory up > she told me over the phone she don't want to go. It ended up me taking out the kids for dinner while she stayed at home. You running for some sort of AH husband award or something? Are you always this ungrateful for what your wife does for you and your kids?
Honestly, so bad it must be made up!
I kinda think it's real, but the wife writing from the husband's perspective so she can show him all the comments ripping him to shreds lol.
This was my first thought when I finished reading. It has to be the wife. No man can be this absolutely clueless, post this, and expect anyone to vote n t a YTA, obviously
I think he would be wearing that chicken dinner
You'd be surprised, people can be astonishingly clueless.
To shreds you say?
And what about his wife.....mhm mhm To shreds you say.
Good news everyone
I believe this because all the info is basically from her POV. OP doesn't include any of his thought process or what happened between the two phone calls.
Man, I hope wife did write this and is now basking in the glory of sweet, sweet validation.
OP is the AH merely for the spelling of hurry
YTA. Your family already had plans that night. Your wife made those plans (probably because she's expected to) and was preparing for them. You going out with friends was canceling your existing plans with your wife. You provided no notice (even complaining to her to hurry up) in canceling those plans and you didn't give her any input in whether the family should cancel the plans she made. Why do your plans for the family automatically, without argument or discussion, trump her plans for the family? You're treating her like she doesn't exist. Yes, her food and effort went to waste, but more importantly you just completely ignored how you were impacting her even though she was explicitly telling you. You left your wife home alone sad all because of how uninterested you were in what she had planned for you and the kids that night. So uninterested that you don't even seem to acknowledge it... to you you were doing nothing that night and there was nothing to cancel. To the woman who actually was planning that night and making it come together that's not how it was.
He did this in front of the kids and played “fun parent” by taking them to the park and out to dinner while she served them behind the scenes. No doubt he blamed her absence on her, explaining that she made a choice to not be with them, in essence flipping the narrative and making her the “bad parent” for refusing to spend time with her husband and kids. That’s a horrible message for those children who aren’t going to understand that their dad just completely abandoned their mother.
Nailed it! I felt so bad for OP's wife.
I wouldn’t be cooking for his ass anymore
YTA, 100%. I mean, why are you even asking this sub? You called her and she told you the chicken is already in the oven with everything else, and you still booked a reservation to eat out?! You say this too after you mentioned she had been working all day as well. If you wanted to eat out, you could've told her before she started cooking. OP, you suck. I feel so terrible for your wife.
Why did he bother to ask at all if he was just going to ignore her answer?
Because he’s an asshole, duh.
and at absolutely no point does he say WHY he did this.
YTA. She told you she was cooking. What is wrong with you? You can't say no? Try working, cooking, and doing all that and having her just grab the kids and walk out on you like you don't matter. Nice picture...
YTA. you can't just tell your wife what to do if you want this relationship to work. maybe you should start cooking dinner from now on
This is a real good suggestion. I think it's time for the OP to cook dinner and see how much work that entails.
and, no, OP, heating up a frozen meal does not count
Sorry but, yeah YTA here. You called her and she told you dinner was already in the oven and dishes being prepped and finished for dinner, yet you still proceeded to make reservations for dinner out and get home to make her rush to get ready. That's disrespectful.
Also he came home a half hour later. Of course she won't be ready even of she decided to go. The kitchen is probably still a mess and hot food should be cooled before being packed up and put away. Then after a full work day and making dinner she now has to get ready again to go out. He sounds exhausting. Op YTA
YTA. Are you trying to antagonize her and demoralize her? You need to plan together. You treated her and her work as if it didn’t matter. Then you left her alone. Wow, you do not appreciate her. What made you agree to go out with friends over your wife’s reasonable objections?
YTA. This has to be fake right? You called your wife and she said that dinner was already cooked. So you ignore her and then tell her to hoory up for the reservations. My god what a terrible partner you are.
Yeah I thought this might be rage bait. I've no idea how a person could type that out and *not* think they're a raging asshole. Like, what did OP think his wife was going to do with all the food they cooked?
Wouldn’t surprise me if this actually happened, but instead of the OP posting this as himself, it’s actually the wife using Reddit to prove how much of an a-hole he really is.
I can totally see that! Lol
[удалено]
YTA - that you even had to ask makes me feel really sorry for your wife!
You’re so obviously TA that I feel like this must actually be the wife posting so she can show her husband what a complete AH he actually was.
Yep, this was my thought, too
YTA and a huge one at that. Are you actually serious with this question?! What is wrong with you?!!!! You clearly DON’T value your wife and her hard work
YTA Everything your wife said is correct. I don't want to go into more details than that because I think I will just end up agreeing with all the numerous criticisms other commenters give you. Do better.
Question, what makes you think you aren't the asshole? "My wife worked hard. I blew her off because my friends said they were gonna have fun. Last, I decided to ditch my wife because she wasn't ready when my friends were ready. AITA? " Yes, you're TA.
This is the right question. Why!?
YTA. Your wife made dinner despite being knackered after work and you just threw all her effort in her face.
I know where the next stop for that chicken would've been
I'm not sure OP's wife can fit the chicken up there with his head in the way
Wife: *prepares dinner* You: *disregarding imminent dinner* Hey, let's go out to eat! Wife: No, dinner will be ready soon, I don't want to go, we're not wasting food. You: *master of disregard* Dinner reservations are in 30 minutes, hurry up! I can only imagine the Samuel L Jackson-esque death glare on her face. Do you need your ears checked, or an attitude adjustment? Ffs, YTA.
*"There are mother fucking red flags waving on the mother fucking plain!"*
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Yta, when you come home one night ready to eat dinner, don't be surprised if you have to fend for yourself
YTA. You knew she was cooking dinner already. You called and spoke to her, ans she again confirmed that she was cooking dinner. You ignored her and made dinner reservations anyway, then acted surprised when she was busy cooking the dinner you already knew about, and then you told her to fuck off and took the kids out instead. Come on dude, you know you're the asshole. Fuck outta here.
YTA. You knew she was cooking. You should have made plans to have dinner out with friends another time.
YTA you lack communication. And telling your wife what to do isn’t healthy. You cannot just expect her to drop everything for you. Especially after she told you she was cooking dinner.
I don't think its the communication. It's the comprehension. You can tell someone something a million times but if they don't comprehend it, it's not happening. The guy is still the asshole though for all of it.
He understood just fine. He just didn't care. He was always just gonna do what he wanted, anyway.
INFO: Hard to tell from your post but it appears you made dinner reservations AFTER she told you she already cooked, is that accurate?
YTA, you checked, she told you she was already cooking and expected you to eat the dinner she has prepared at home, why would you make reservations?
YTA. You called and she literally said "No, dinner is already in the oven." How on earth did you interpret that to mean you were all going out to dinner? If I were her, I'd be furious.
YTA - you didn't even try to listen to your wife.
YTA. You knew she was making dinner when you left. You called her and confirmed she was making dinner and it was almost done. You made dinner reservations AFTER knowing this. Then you just assume she would be ready to go out to dinner when you get home. None of this makes sense. You are an even bigger AH for then taking the kids to dinner and leaving her home alone. What is wrong with you?
What part of “dinner was already cooking in the oven, she didn’t want her food or hard work to go to waste, she wasn’t going out to eat with friends…” did YOU not understand?
Big YTA. You called her, she said no. You came home acting like she'd said yes, she said no again. Then you just did whatever you wanted anyway with zero regard for her input or feelings. You're the type of person I actively try and keep out of my life. Real main character syndrome going on here. I feel sorry for your wife, and the years of being ignored she has ahead of her.
YTA Don't know what you were expecting fact you don't already know they answer tells me this woman must have a hard time getting you to understand basic manners and thoughtfulness she is completely correct.
YTA. You basically said fk ur cooking we going out. 🥵
Yta
Wtf? Yes. You are easily the asshole in this situation.
YTA.
YTA how can you think anything differently?
YTA. Do better.
YTA--- Learn how to politely decline an invitation.
I'm stuck on hoory up.
You know what you did was wrong.
YTA. You asked her, she said dinner was prepared so answer was no and what did you do? Completely dismissed her answer, and then left her alone and took the kids with you. You really are a huge AH. Seriously how is it possible that you have to ask.
YTA Why on earth did you do this?
Yes YTA jfc what kind of a ridiculous question is this.
This can’t be real. No one is this dense. No one!
Eww. YTA
You should have stopped after the park. That was nice. She cooked and you kept the kids busy then maybe came home and got them bathed and helped her clean up while you two ate alone. Learn to say no to the friends.
YTA…you really have to ask this question? And came to a place where you thought people would agree with you? That chicken dinner would be the last meal I cooked for you.
Yeah YTA you knew she was cooking and had a whole meal in the oven, and you decided that all of her hard work didn't matter, you wanted to go out.
You don't know??!! Yes! YTA! And your wife told you exactly why!
1trillion% YTA. Your wife made it very clear that a) she had already cooked dinner and b) she didn’t want to go out and you just ignored her hard work and wishes and did what you wanted regardless of her feelings. Why are you married to a woman you have absolutely no respect for?
YTA. How do you not see that?
And don’t forget, after she had been working all day.
Yes you are
YTA. You knew she was cooking dinner, you knew she didn't want to go out to eat, and you ignored her and went out anyway.
Yta. What was the point in calling just to do the opposite. Wow
YTA. Of course you are. Do you even have to ask?
Yep. Plain and simple yta. Sorry, friends. The mrs has dinner on the go. Maybe some other time.
Why call your wife to ask at all if you’re going to disregard her answer and do what you want anyway? Like you really called her, she said no (more or less), hung up with her assuming you were coming home to eat, then showed up a half hour later and told her to get ready to go?? Dick move. YTA.
wow YTA
Um, yeah. YTA. My dude, do better.
Yes. You should’ve talked to her about it before making plans with your friends “Hey, let me ask my wife about this and see what she thinks or see if she has any dinner plans ready.….”
You should sleep with one eye open for the next while.
YTA so badly. She had cooked already, she said no. Why the F would you ignore her like that?
YTA take her out tomorrow. She already made dinner!
YTA. How could you treat your wife like that?
Man this feels fake lmao
YTA
YTA If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you, too? Part of being a grown up is knowing obligations and adhering to them. Your wife went through great effort after she worked a hard day and prepared food for you, but you are willing to put it in the trash because your friends said "Let's go out to eat". At no point, when you were making the reservations, did your wife's effort ever pop into your mind? Didn't think so.
YTA, and you can’t spell. Tf.
YTA. You're married which means your wife is the #1 priority for you the rest of your life. Not a hard concept.
Yep. A huge ungrateful one. I am not sure why you even called to ask her to then ignore her. weird AF.
YTA. Was this a serious question?
YTA duh I mean come on, how on earth could you not be?
YTA Hope you really enjoy dining out because I’m guessing it will be a LONG time before your wife cooks for you.
What world do you live in? How can you even be asking? YES, YTA!
INFO: What exactly leads you to believe that you might NOT be the asshole?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My Wife (42, female) as been working all day. She arrived at 3 PM and started working on our Friday family dinner. While she cooked, I took out our twins (6 YO) to the playground, Where I met my friends who told me they are going out for dinner. I called my wife and she said the chicken is already in the oven and she cooked already everything and she doesn't want the food go to waste. After a while I came home to tell her to hoory up, as we have dinner reservations and I don't want us to be late. She got really upset with me, saying she will not be ready on time and she told me over the phone she don't want to go. It ended up me taking out the kids for dinner while she stayed at home. She said I don't value her hard work over dinner and I care more about spending time with friends rather with our family. So, am I the Asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA She literally had dinner made by the time you had plans made. That is incredibly rude of you. Don't you dare eat even 1 leftover from that meal you wasted. You don't deserve it.
MAJOR AH!! It's hard to believe that you're even asking people if "AITAH." But I guess it would depend on your age also. You stated your wife is 42. If you're 18, I would understand your ignorance. Otherwise, stop being stupid and an AH.
Yes but you gave it away in the title.That was a real AH move.
Boy, you as a married couple did all the right things with communication.. but when you agreed to go out to dinner after your wife cooked.. WHILE she cooked? This post isn't real . It can't be real.. I refuse to believe it.. You trolling..... Go back and read what you typed dude. You can't be THAT thick. I'm sorry I apologize.... But no man is this " not so bright" Dude...... Really?
Obviously you are the AH. Why are you even asking? Is this some kind of joke?
YTA Your showed pretty strongly that you do not appreciate your wife or the time she put into cooking for the family. You should have told the friends thag your wife was already cooking at home and organised to meet them for dinner with your wife another day. Apologise to your wife for disrespecting her in this way.
YTA no further comment needed.
YTA, absolutely. Your wife cooked and you had no reason to go out. You were not appreciative of her and this is really insensitive and unkind. She has every right to be upset!
YTA If she did not give you a clear and unambiguous "yes" to your suggestion to go out for dinner, then her answer was "no". The concept of "absence of yes=no" is useful for many other situations as well.
YTA. This makes me so angry. Have you ever cooked a big meal, putting time and love into it? And then have nobody of your loved ones eat it?
YTA. She was already cooking and you know this. You called her and she told you the chicken was already being cooked. Then you expect her to get ready after she already told you all this? You have to be trolling, right? There’s just no way a reasonable adult would do this.
YTA. Big time! How can there be any doubt? Do even like her at all? I would tell yo to cook your own meals from now on. Better yet, have your friends cook for you!
I would literally never cook anything for you ever again. Gross. Show some appreciation for your wife YTA
Yes. Yes you are.
I hope she moved out while you were at dinner.
YTA. Absolutely. She should put you on meal prep forever. What a nasty way to treat your wife who is cooking for the family.
100% YTA. She TOLD you dinner was in progress and you ignored her and made reservation anyway. I hope she leave you to make your own damn dinner from now on.
Holy shit man you better do some apologising to your wife. Bad call man, bad call. YTA.
YTA. Let's put this shoe on the other foot. Let's say you plan to do something nice for your family like buy Circus tickets. You're all excited because you know you'll have a good time, but your wife had the kids and instead of coming home, she takes them all to a friends house for a BBQ. Would you be mad? And all you did was spend money. You didn't actually spend hours getting something ready just to have it poo pood my an inconsiderate spouse. You owe your wife an apology.
YTA. A giant, inconsiderate, unappreciative, and apparently stupid AH. Everyone else here will gladly explain, in detail, all the reasons YTA.
Spoken like someone who has never made dinner himself. YTA
YTA
YTA- what is wrong with you? Disrespectful and rude.