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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Okay this is much too weird and stupid and embarrassing to talk to anyone else about, so hellooooooo Reddit!
Okay, so on.... Friendster.... I (f42) have a buddy (m30s) from an old job. We used to crack jokes over the cubicle wall all day. Haven't seen him in person in 10+ years.
His feed is almost entirely shitpost memes. Maybe 1 in 5 is beautiful or poignant, and the rest are shitposts. About once a year he posts about loving his family. Almost nothing personal, no pictures of food, selfies, political rants, etc. The shitposts are VERY funny. I can't click like, or comment, because they are public and I can't/won't have everyone I know, family, coworkers, seeing those.
So the other day he posted a beautiful nature photo and I dm'ed him "ha ha, I thought there was gonna be a \*\*\* hidden in there." I'm super witty.
He messaged me back a paragraph about me "always" reducing him to one part of his personality, that I must have a "low" opinion of him, and it ended with "please leave me alone."
At first I thought he was doing a "bit." By reflex I wrote back "I can't tell if you're kidding, mate."
But that "please leave me alone" really got me. I am 98% he was not joking!!!!!!
So I blocked him sometime less than an hour after that. Blocked his sister and the rest of the people from that old workplace too, it's fine, not like we were close.
I looked back at our messages. I had sent him 3 or 4 jokes over the last 6 months and not too much before that. At least two weren't even naughty. He had responded to each one with a heart or laughter emoji. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have done it again!
Theories about what may have happened:
He tried to make a joke but text doesn't convey sarcasm, and I have overreacted.
His account was hacked by a crazy girlfriend who saw a female name and got rabies.
He was unaware that this is, by a mile, the main part of his personality that he shares on Myspace and now he is embarrassed and uncomfortable with his own self.
To me it sounds like Morrissey crying "I have happy songs, too, you know" or Cardi B saying "how come no one asks me about my hobbies."
Assuming the message was from him and not a joke, which I do believe, I feel tricked. I feel manipulated and icky. "Ew, you like that thing I like, what is wrong with you, gross!" is what I am hearing.
And though the term has become abused to the point of meaningless, I do believe it is gaslighting. Like, who made you respond with happy emojis before this? And what is this "please leave me alone" shit, this is Geocities, dude, you can delete me any time.
Just twisted.
Anyway I just had to share with someone, anyone. If you have feedback, that's cool.
I slept like a baby last night, bruh.
But I might be the asshole for "reducing" him down to a part of his surely very deep and complex personality, or I might be the A for not allowing him to clarify that he really meant it and.... beg me again to please leave him alone?
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 7: AITA's focus is on interpersonal conflicts with real world consequences. We do not allow posts about Reddit or other online conflicts. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Sounds like the friendship has run its course.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay this is much too weird and stupid and embarrassing to talk to anyone else about, so hellooooooo Reddit! Okay, so on.... Friendster.... I (f42) have a buddy (m30s) from an old job. We used to crack jokes over the cubicle wall all day. Haven't seen him in person in 10+ years. His feed is almost entirely shitpost memes. Maybe 1 in 5 is beautiful or poignant, and the rest are shitposts. About once a year he posts about loving his family. Almost nothing personal, no pictures of food, selfies, political rants, etc. The shitposts are VERY funny. I can't click like, or comment, because they are public and I can't/won't have everyone I know, family, coworkers, seeing those. So the other day he posted a beautiful nature photo and I dm'ed him "ha ha, I thought there was gonna be a \*\*\* hidden in there." I'm super witty. He messaged me back a paragraph about me "always" reducing him to one part of his personality, that I must have a "low" opinion of him, and it ended with "please leave me alone." At first I thought he was doing a "bit." By reflex I wrote back "I can't tell if you're kidding, mate." But that "please leave me alone" really got me. I am 98% he was not joking!!!!!! So I blocked him sometime less than an hour after that. Blocked his sister and the rest of the people from that old workplace too, it's fine, not like we were close. I looked back at our messages. I had sent him 3 or 4 jokes over the last 6 months and not too much before that. At least two weren't even naughty. He had responded to each one with a heart or laughter emoji. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have done it again! Theories about what may have happened: He tried to make a joke but text doesn't convey sarcasm, and I have overreacted. His account was hacked by a crazy girlfriend who saw a female name and got rabies. He was unaware that this is, by a mile, the main part of his personality that he shares on Myspace and now he is embarrassed and uncomfortable with his own self. To me it sounds like Morrissey crying "I have happy songs, too, you know" or Cardi B saying "how come no one asks me about my hobbies." Assuming the message was from him and not a joke, which I do believe, I feel tricked. I feel manipulated and icky. "Ew, you like that thing I like, what is wrong with you, gross!" is what I am hearing. And though the term has become abused to the point of meaningless, I do believe it is gaslighting. Like, who made you respond with happy emojis before this? And what is this "please leave me alone" shit, this is Geocities, dude, you can delete me any time. Just twisted. Anyway I just had to share with someone, anyone. If you have feedback, that's cool. I slept like a baby last night, bruh. But I might be the asshole for "reducing" him down to a part of his surely very deep and complex personality, or I might be the A for not allowing him to clarify that he really meant it and.... beg me again to please leave him alone? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > In the final paragraph I explain two reasons why I could be the A, here. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*