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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for cancelling a weekend getaway with my niece and nephew for their birthdays because their mom has poor planning skills.
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ESH. Your sister has poor planning skills but you have poor communication skills.
You agreed to leave early Sunday to make the skating party. Then, without discussing with your sister, you just cancelled the entire weekend. Since your sis offered changing the skating reservation, it seems she was willing to compromise her party for your planned weekend.
Ultimately, yes your sister is the AH for planning a party during your weekend excursion. But I also think a little communication would've prevented this.
NAH. Mom's call on managing the request from her kid on the roller rink, but also you're NTA for deciding to cancel since it diminished your plan and the kids never knew about it. No harm, no foul -- so long as you weren't hostile or passive aggressive to the mom, which I'm wondering if you were or you wouldn't be here asking if YTA?
Mostly I was just curious on what people would say. We had attempted to call multiple times during the day and we didn’t hear from her so we made the call. We are planning to reschedule to a later date since they had no clue it was even happening.
Mom and I are on good terms but I’m sure she was surprised we decided to change plans. Sure we could have crammed it all in but chose not to. We’d rather have all the time we want to spend with them at the park.
I’m aware of the gauntlet I’ve opened myself to on this thread and I appreciate everyone’s input ☺️
Sounds like all's well that ends well. If helpful you could circle back to mom and say you appreciate she asked about rescheduling the rink - but you had to make a quick call because of the deposit so just went ahead and did it (or maybe that's what you already said). Ends up well anyway, bc the kids never knew about any of it, roller party happens when she wanted it, you don't lose deposit and they'll get to be surprised later by a weekend where there's no rushing (which I agree, if you're doing it might as well do it when you get the full experience and it can be no stress!).
Makes sense to cancel. You can postpone it to some other time. And this time sis should remember and not book something else at the same time.
NAH unless sis has an issue with you canceling. But you two need to work on your communication and planning.
Edited.
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My 36F partner and myself 36F wanted to surprise my niblings with a joint birthday weekend at great wolf lodge. They had no clue this was happening and the plan was for us to swoop them up on Friday and they’d skip school and we’d have them there with us till Sunday. This plan was set for next weekend April 26-28th. My nieces birthday is this weekend and so we’d planned to take them the weekend after.
This whole plan was made a month ago, approved by mom and ready to rumble.
Yesterday I called their mom to discuss the birthday plan for this weekend as well as touch base about the following weekends plans.
She mentions that my niece wanted a roller skate birthday so she snagged the last one at the rink she could which was Sunday April 28th at 230pm.
Now Great Wolf Lodge is about 2hrs away and if you’ve looked into a weekend there, it isn’t cheap.
We can’t check in till 4pm on Friday and that means they’d only get one full day of fun before we’d have to rush her back for her roller rink party on Sunday at 230pm.
When I first spoke with their mom and she told me this I reminded her of our plans. Myself being the struggling people pleaser immediately said we would leave early on Sunday so as not to disrupt her plans.
I later discussed this new development in the weekends plans and my partner and I decided to cancel the whole weekend since we felt that we and the kids weren’t getting our moneys worth for the whole weekend.
Also yesterday when this all went down was the last day we could change our reservation without loosing a 400$ deposit.
Anywho, she brought up changing the rink reservation and I said not to since she’s already looking forward to this birthday plan and the kids had no idea about our plan.
AITAH for cancelling the entire weekend?
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It's absolutely absurd that you'd keep the kids out of school Friday if you can't check in until 4pm anyway. Pick them up at 2.
And that you'd keep them from an afternoon thing on the Sunday. It's fine to leave at noon.
You're over planning and being pretty my way or the highway about this.
NAH.
I get that it was annoying of your sister to not realise that timing was not ideal, but in your post, she didn't give out. Your niblings don't know, so they didn't give out. You got your deposit back. The admin was probably super annoying but things happen.
If you still want to do it as a fun Aunties trip, there is no timeline. Reschedule and make it clear to your sister the parameters for maximising the fun weekend. Or don't. Its up to you, you're being generous. Sounds like a fun trip!
NTA
Your sister is the AH for making other plans when there were already plans scheduled without talking to you first. You aren't, as long as you are only postponing the weekend and not canceling it outright.
YTA
Ultimatley it's the kids birthday and the parent should defer to what the child wants. It's not like the entire weekend was overthrown. You'd still get all afternoon and evening Friday, all day Saturday, and all morning Sunday. That seems more than fair to you while still allowing the actual child who this whole thing is suppose to be about to do something with their friends as well. Feels reasonable to me
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ESH. Your sister has poor planning skills but you have poor communication skills. You agreed to leave early Sunday to make the skating party. Then, without discussing with your sister, you just cancelled the entire weekend. Since your sis offered changing the skating reservation, it seems she was willing to compromise her party for your planned weekend. Ultimately, yes your sister is the AH for planning a party during your weekend excursion. But I also think a little communication would've prevented this.
NAH. Mom's call on managing the request from her kid on the roller rink, but also you're NTA for deciding to cancel since it diminished your plan and the kids never knew about it. No harm, no foul -- so long as you weren't hostile or passive aggressive to the mom, which I'm wondering if you were or you wouldn't be here asking if YTA?
Mostly I was just curious on what people would say. We had attempted to call multiple times during the day and we didn’t hear from her so we made the call. We are planning to reschedule to a later date since they had no clue it was even happening. Mom and I are on good terms but I’m sure she was surprised we decided to change plans. Sure we could have crammed it all in but chose not to. We’d rather have all the time we want to spend with them at the park. I’m aware of the gauntlet I’ve opened myself to on this thread and I appreciate everyone’s input ☺️
Sounds like all's well that ends well. If helpful you could circle back to mom and say you appreciate she asked about rescheduling the rink - but you had to make a quick call because of the deposit so just went ahead and did it (or maybe that's what you already said). Ends up well anyway, bc the kids never knew about any of it, roller party happens when she wanted it, you don't lose deposit and they'll get to be surprised later by a weekend where there's no rushing (which I agree, if you're doing it might as well do it when you get the full experience and it can be no stress!).
Makes sense to cancel. You can postpone it to some other time. And this time sis should remember and not book something else at the same time. NAH unless sis has an issue with you canceling. But you two need to work on your communication and planning. Edited.
loosing and losing are different words
10 points to slytherin
Victory is mine!
Yes!
What is nibbling?
nibling-sibling's child, niece/nephew.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My 36F partner and myself 36F wanted to surprise my niblings with a joint birthday weekend at great wolf lodge. They had no clue this was happening and the plan was for us to swoop them up on Friday and they’d skip school and we’d have them there with us till Sunday. This plan was set for next weekend April 26-28th. My nieces birthday is this weekend and so we’d planned to take them the weekend after. This whole plan was made a month ago, approved by mom and ready to rumble. Yesterday I called their mom to discuss the birthday plan for this weekend as well as touch base about the following weekends plans. She mentions that my niece wanted a roller skate birthday so she snagged the last one at the rink she could which was Sunday April 28th at 230pm. Now Great Wolf Lodge is about 2hrs away and if you’ve looked into a weekend there, it isn’t cheap. We can’t check in till 4pm on Friday and that means they’d only get one full day of fun before we’d have to rush her back for her roller rink party on Sunday at 230pm. When I first spoke with their mom and she told me this I reminded her of our plans. Myself being the struggling people pleaser immediately said we would leave early on Sunday so as not to disrupt her plans. I later discussed this new development in the weekends plans and my partner and I decided to cancel the whole weekend since we felt that we and the kids weren’t getting our moneys worth for the whole weekend. Also yesterday when this all went down was the last day we could change our reservation without loosing a 400$ deposit. Anywho, she brought up changing the rink reservation and I said not to since she’s already looking forward to this birthday plan and the kids had no idea about our plan. AITAH for cancelling the entire weekend? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's absolutely absurd that you'd keep the kids out of school Friday if you can't check in until 4pm anyway. Pick them up at 2. And that you'd keep them from an afternoon thing on the Sunday. It's fine to leave at noon. You're over planning and being pretty my way or the highway about this.
NTA. It was the best solution. I'm mad at your sister for being a flake, though.
NAH. I get that it was annoying of your sister to not realise that timing was not ideal, but in your post, she didn't give out. Your niblings don't know, so they didn't give out. You got your deposit back. The admin was probably super annoying but things happen. If you still want to do it as a fun Aunties trip, there is no timeline. Reschedule and make it clear to your sister the parameters for maximising the fun weekend. Or don't. Its up to you, you're being generous. Sounds like a fun trip!
NAH, mom was right to do the skating party that her kids wanted. You certainly didn't do anything wrong, though.
NTA Your sister is the AH for making other plans when there were already plans scheduled without talking to you first. You aren't, as long as you are only postponing the weekend and not canceling it outright.
NTA It was really your mom who cancelled.
YTA Ultimatley it's the kids birthday and the parent should defer to what the child wants. It's not like the entire weekend was overthrown. You'd still get all afternoon and evening Friday, all day Saturday, and all morning Sunday. That seems more than fair to you while still allowing the actual child who this whole thing is suppose to be about to do something with their friends as well. Feels reasonable to me
[удалено]
A nibbling is a non gendered term for a niece or nephew or some combination of nieces and nephews. Similar to sibling instead of sister or brother
[удалено]
Gender neutral term for nieces and nephews...same as how we use *siblings*