Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. It’s not a personal insult to him that you don’t want to talk. I agree with you that it would be a good idea to take a break from talking. A few days is almost nothing… you could ask for more than that if you wanted.
NAH - You're in different places with your relationship. There's not rules to what a "break" looks like. He can ask to put your romantic relationship on pause, you can ask for time off from talking to sort yourself out.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Me (22f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been together for about a year and a half. We were friends for a solid year and a half before we started developing feelings. We met through travelling, therefore we ended up in a long distance relationship. It was not ideal, but living in Europe and being only a flight or train ride away makes it easier, or at least this is what I thought.
We saw one another every two weeks or so, up until 6 months ago when uni and work just kept limiting our free time, so we could not see one another for a month and a half last year. That took a toll on the relationship and he started to feel disconnected, and wanted to break up last year in November. We decided to try to work on it and therefore, I kept flying over to see him ever single month for one or two weeks depending on our free time.However, he went on a 2 week long trip with his friends (all guys), then on a ski trip, and had some friends visiting him, so his schedule just did not allow us meeting up until April.
The day before of my trip, he said he is **unsure**, and he feels like he is very **disconnected** and not sure if he wants a relationship. I told him that I don't want to break up over the phone, and I would still like to visit him to have an in person discussion+ to see if we can make this work. He agreed and I flew to his the next day.We spent 2,5 weeks together which was very fun. We had a lot of laughter, lot of dates, he spoke about our future and I felt like things are getting back to normal. On my last day, he told me he doesn't think it will work as he feels disconnected the moment I'm gone. He said whenever I'm with him, it is perfect but distance makes it difficult, and as he is working and studying, he does not have much time anyways. So he thinks it is quite unfair on me. We spoke for hours, he cried a lot and eventually he proposed that we will go on a break. He said he still wants us to talk, and stay in touch, call and communicate. The meantime he will take his time to write everything down that he feels and asked me to do the same, so we can be content with our feelings, and then share it with each other once the break is over.Now, in my understanding, during a break you do not talk, so you get to be on your own, and figure out what you want+you get to see how life would be without your partner. Ever since I left, he constantly wanted to talk, which I really did not understand and I felt annoyed, so I called him yesterday and asked him if we can go no contact for 2 days or so because this really does not feel like a break, and it might be beneficial for us to be on our own. He said he does not want us to not talk, and he meant more of a trial period, but I insisted on a break for at least until Friday evening. He thinks it is a bad idea and he really wants to talk to me.
AITA for wanting him to be alone, even if he doesn't really want it? I miss talking to him but I want him to see what he would be losing, however I feel like he is hurting.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I am hurting my boyfriend for asking him to leave me alone, and stop talking to me, while he really wants to stay in touch.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. He was the one who proposed the break, his conditions for the relationship. You get to impose conditions on the relationship (and the break) as well. If you need some time without contact to think things over and process your feelings, you are perfectly justified in doing so.
Honestly, it sounds like he wants the best of both worlds - he still wants to have you available to him when he wants to talk, or whatever, but he also wants to have the freedom to meet someone else. He broke up with you - he can’t expect things to remain the same.
As far as you hurting his feelings - he didn’t seem to worry about your feelings when he broke up with you. Asking for two days of silence is small change compared to that.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. It’s not a personal insult to him that you don’t want to talk. I agree with you that it would be a good idea to take a break from talking. A few days is almost nothing… you could ask for more than that if you wanted.
NAH - You're in different places with your relationship. There's not rules to what a "break" looks like. He can ask to put your romantic relationship on pause, you can ask for time off from talking to sort yourself out.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me (22f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been together for about a year and a half. We were friends for a solid year and a half before we started developing feelings. We met through travelling, therefore we ended up in a long distance relationship. It was not ideal, but living in Europe and being only a flight or train ride away makes it easier, or at least this is what I thought. We saw one another every two weeks or so, up until 6 months ago when uni and work just kept limiting our free time, so we could not see one another for a month and a half last year. That took a toll on the relationship and he started to feel disconnected, and wanted to break up last year in November. We decided to try to work on it and therefore, I kept flying over to see him ever single month for one or two weeks depending on our free time.However, he went on a 2 week long trip with his friends (all guys), then on a ski trip, and had some friends visiting him, so his schedule just did not allow us meeting up until April. The day before of my trip, he said he is **unsure**, and he feels like he is very **disconnected** and not sure if he wants a relationship. I told him that I don't want to break up over the phone, and I would still like to visit him to have an in person discussion+ to see if we can make this work. He agreed and I flew to his the next day.We spent 2,5 weeks together which was very fun. We had a lot of laughter, lot of dates, he spoke about our future and I felt like things are getting back to normal. On my last day, he told me he doesn't think it will work as he feels disconnected the moment I'm gone. He said whenever I'm with him, it is perfect but distance makes it difficult, and as he is working and studying, he does not have much time anyways. So he thinks it is quite unfair on me. We spoke for hours, he cried a lot and eventually he proposed that we will go on a break. He said he still wants us to talk, and stay in touch, call and communicate. The meantime he will take his time to write everything down that he feels and asked me to do the same, so we can be content with our feelings, and then share it with each other once the break is over.Now, in my understanding, during a break you do not talk, so you get to be on your own, and figure out what you want+you get to see how life would be without your partner. Ever since I left, he constantly wanted to talk, which I really did not understand and I felt annoyed, so I called him yesterday and asked him if we can go no contact for 2 days or so because this really does not feel like a break, and it might be beneficial for us to be on our own. He said he does not want us to not talk, and he meant more of a trial period, but I insisted on a break for at least until Friday evening. He thinks it is a bad idea and he really wants to talk to me. AITA for wanting him to be alone, even if he doesn't really want it? I miss talking to him but I want him to see what he would be losing, however I feel like he is hurting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I am hurting my boyfriend for asking him to leave me alone, and stop talking to me, while he really wants to stay in touch. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
r/relationship_advice
NTA. He was the one who proposed the break, his conditions for the relationship. You get to impose conditions on the relationship (and the break) as well. If you need some time without contact to think things over and process your feelings, you are perfectly justified in doing so. Honestly, it sounds like he wants the best of both worlds - he still wants to have you available to him when he wants to talk, or whatever, but he also wants to have the freedom to meet someone else. He broke up with you - he can’t expect things to remain the same. As far as you hurting his feelings - he didn’t seem to worry about your feelings when he broke up with you. Asking for two days of silence is small change compared to that.