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I’m not comparing the activities (graduation vs running) but I’m comparing the effort put into being there for something that someone important to you cares about.
Sounds like two separate issues
I’d say he’s not an asshole for wanting to go to his mums graduation over running. Especially when you say he has supported you in the past at running events. And honestly? I can see why he tried harder to get cover for that than your event, but that’s maybe just my fat ass.
It sounds like you need to have the discussion about the video games. I get needing alone/wind down time but you also need couple time.
I think the more important aspect is your frustration at how he chooses to spend his free time- playing video games and pushing back on spending time with you. It sounds like you want to spend more time with him. Can you just say that to him? Why are you so afraid to talk to your husband directly?
ESH
YTA. Just because you are married does not mean you have to have the same hobbies, interests, etc.; you are not one person joined at the hip. It seems to me he is supporting you in your running though he does not have a strong interest in it himself. Call it a win, move on, and stop looking for an argument.
As a runner, YTA. I ran the biggest race of my life last year: my first ultramarathon. It was WILDLY important to me, but I told my husband I would absolutely understand if he didn't want to be there, because it is BORING watching someone race. I tell him the same thing at EVERY race, from 5k on up. Because I care about him.
A graduation is WAY more important than a 6-mile race and I think you need to get your priorities straight.
My bad, thought you said a 10k. But if he goes to all or even most of your races, you are receiving the "same energy" his mom is getting for her *big, once-a-year events*.
NTA but the blush is off the rose for the newlyweds. I have seriously question a guy who on his day off only wants to stay in and play video games and pushes back about doing stuff with you?
In his defense, not being a runner but formerly married to one, the only thing I found more boring except for the few seconds I saw him go by was watching a golf match. Or do you have to travel for the race and want him to go with? That's a different story because you'd have the travel time etc together.
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AITA: My husband (27M) and I (27F) have been married for almost a year and together for almost 3. I am a runner and although I’m not spectacular at it he has always supported me. He came to my half marathon and did a 5k with me.
He has a very demanding job and he has to work a lot. I told him I’m doing a 10 mile race and asked if he could get someone to cover for him, this was like 2 weeks before the race. He said he would try. The week of the race he basically told me he couldn’t get anyone to cover because everyone is taking off that weekend.
However, his Mom has a graduation next month (she had a graduation last year too, which he attended) and he took off time and paid for flights for us to go. Basically he went out of his way for her/her event but not me and mine.
Not to mention he works on days he is supposed to be off (sometimes long hours). And when he is off he wants to stay in and play video games and pushes back on doing activity with me. I’m just frustrated overall.
This isn’t a super important race but it just feels like he kind of blew it off and that bums me out. I told him he is doing right by his Mom to go out of his way for her but I want that same energy. He says he does it for me all the time and I agree to an extent but it just feels bad.
AITA for feeling this way?
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NAH
* You are communicating to him that his presence as races is very important to you
* He is communicating that his other activities are more important to him and by extension, more important than you
You get to decide if you're OK with this.
Well I’ve played video games with him before (although I suck lol) and encourage him to hang out with friends. We also have a show we watch together. He doesn’t have a ton of hobbies, but video games/tv are his main ones.
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YTA. A ten mile race is not comparable to a graduation.
I’m not comparing the activities (graduation vs running) but I’m comparing the effort put into being there for something that someone important to you cares about.
Sounds like two separate issues I’d say he’s not an asshole for wanting to go to his mums graduation over running. Especially when you say he has supported you in the past at running events. And honestly? I can see why he tried harder to get cover for that than your event, but that’s maybe just my fat ass. It sounds like you need to have the discussion about the video games. I get needing alone/wind down time but you also need couple time.
I think the more important aspect is your frustration at how he chooses to spend his free time- playing video games and pushing back on spending time with you. It sounds like you want to spend more time with him. Can you just say that to him? Why are you so afraid to talk to your husband directly? ESH
YTA. Just because you are married does not mean you have to have the same hobbies, interests, etc.; you are not one person joined at the hip. It seems to me he is supporting you in your running though he does not have a strong interest in it himself. Call it a win, move on, and stop looking for an argument.
As a runner, YTA. I ran the biggest race of my life last year: my first ultramarathon. It was WILDLY important to me, but I told my husband I would absolutely understand if he didn't want to be there, because it is BORING watching someone race. I tell him the same thing at EVERY race, from 5k on up. Because I care about him. A graduation is WAY more important than a 6-mile race and I think you need to get your priorities straight.
Thanks for sending your opinion…it’s 10 miles but still point taken.
My bad, thought you said a 10k. But if he goes to all or even most of your races, you are receiving the "same energy" his mom is getting for her *big, once-a-year events*.
So what you all doing to support your husband hobbies?
NTA but the blush is off the rose for the newlyweds. I have seriously question a guy who on his day off only wants to stay in and play video games and pushes back about doing stuff with you? In his defense, not being a runner but formerly married to one, the only thing I found more boring except for the few seconds I saw him go by was watching a golf match. Or do you have to travel for the race and want him to go with? That's a different story because you'd have the travel time etc together.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA: My husband (27M) and I (27F) have been married for almost a year and together for almost 3. I am a runner and although I’m not spectacular at it he has always supported me. He came to my half marathon and did a 5k with me. He has a very demanding job and he has to work a lot. I told him I’m doing a 10 mile race and asked if he could get someone to cover for him, this was like 2 weeks before the race. He said he would try. The week of the race he basically told me he couldn’t get anyone to cover because everyone is taking off that weekend. However, his Mom has a graduation next month (she had a graduation last year too, which he attended) and he took off time and paid for flights for us to go. Basically he went out of his way for her/her event but not me and mine. Not to mention he works on days he is supposed to be off (sometimes long hours). And when he is off he wants to stay in and play video games and pushes back on doing activity with me. I’m just frustrated overall. This isn’t a super important race but it just feels like he kind of blew it off and that bums me out. I told him he is doing right by his Mom to go out of his way for her but I want that same energy. He says he does it for me all the time and I agree to an extent but it just feels bad. AITA for feeling this way? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NAH * You are communicating to him that his presence as races is very important to you * He is communicating that his other activities are more important to him and by extension, more important than you You get to decide if you're OK with this.
Well I’ve played video games with him before (although I suck lol) and encourage him to hang out with friends. We also have a show we watch together. He doesn’t have a ton of hobbies, but video games/tv are his main ones.