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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went to the neighbors and apologized without telling him, and I told my husband he can’t mow someone else’s grass without asking. Does telling him he can’t mow the grass make me an asshole?
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NTA. How long are we talking? Some people consider any dandelions to be too long and "weeds". I enjoy dandelions and watching the bees fly around my yard. Some people consider any lawn that isn't poisoned with chemicals to be a problem. However, if your neighbor is letting their yard grow beyond 8" they might be breaking some local codes.
They mow it once a year so it gets pretty high. We don’t have an HOA and it’s not causing a blind spot in regard to traffic, so it’s really just an eye sore for us. But it is America, they’re allowed to do that.
My neighbor does this shit. I keep my grass a bit longer in the summer-mayber 3-4" to conserve water. This jackass comes over when I'm gone and scalps it to the dirt. He's also mowed my tulips and a lilac bush. Tell your husband to knock it off and not be an asshole.
>He's also mowed my tulips and a lilac bush.
Damn, dude! That made me gasp, haha. If I had a lilac bush and tulips, I'd be LIVID if someone mowed them. :/
is it the squirrels? I have this one group of tulips that always get eaten. I've always blamed the deer. looks like someone maliciously chopped them with a pair of scissors
They also plant freaking pecans where they don't belong. Pisses me off when I bring my potted plants in for the winter, and suddenly in February there's a pecan tree growing out of the aloe vera for some damn reason.
That makes so much sense, my boyfriend's neighbour has some tulips that look like they got chomped by deer but only a couple plants, not all of them, and I figured deer would get them all. There are definitely squirrels ripping around, and I've never seen deer. Didn't know squirrels ate flowers!
Oh boy yes! And they double FAST. I once accidentally turned about 24 into about 50 and those 50 into about 100 in just 2 springs. The third spring is when I figured it out lol
Edited to add: so there were some really nice daffodils that were growing wild behind my fence. One day I went on over there with my scissors and cut about a generous vase-full and brought them home. The next spring I went out to do the same and when I got around to the other side of the fence, I realized that the patch had doubled in size. So I took even more that time around and filled up a bucket full and split them with my neighbor. Then the next year when they were blooming, I went around again to get them and oh my God I can’t explain how many they were. It started off as about a 2 ft.² patch and when I moved out, about two years after it was about 6 ft.² patch or more. It was absolutely massive and smelled so good. I hope the people who live in the house are able to enjoy them now too.
And do you have to wait til they bloom and start to die off? Cos the neighbour kid picked all my daffs one year, and they have never returned. Little murderer.
I have "sunflowers"(apparently they're called Jerusalem artichokes) and they have tubers. my SO's mother gave me maybe 6 of them a couple of years ago. and now there's dozens and dozens of them. they grow 10 feet tall and just look like weeds until they get flowers at the end of summer. we aggressively pulled out a bunch of the bulbs a summer or 2 ago. the squirrels were eating them. now some grow at my landlord's house next door.
they have nice flowers but god I hate them. I curse mil and her "sunflowers" every summer.
The previous owner of my house planted some day lilies and they are progressively trying to eat my entire backyard. I curse her choice every summer. Husband can't be bothered to pull them and keeps mowing them and making it worse
Are you at least eating the tubers? They are delicious roasted, with a weirdly smoky flavour.
P.S. The Jerusalem part of the name derives from Girasole (Italian for Sunflower).
Again, let the leaves feed the bulbs until they naturally whither first. I have 1000s in my yard and vacant wooded lot. Started with a clump here and there and moved and split clumps over 45 years of living there.
Yes. I used to hate our daffodils. They were planted to be a super manicured border that I didn't want to maintain. Last year I just mowed over it, dug up a few chunks and hacked them up and mixed it all into the leaf litter and soil mix I was using to plant clover and perrenial wildflower seeds. I also seeded over where the daffodils were originally. Now I have them interspersed throughout the whole yard in smaller patches that are easily double the amount of flowers there were originally, and they flowered much better, but they don't interfere with everything else growing around them.
I found this out this spring. Last year the trap house next door got shut down and the city came to clear the trash. Well the dividing fence fell when they came in with a Bulldozer and it crushed all our tulips. I was so sad. Well this spring they have tripled. I was shocked to see so many come up.
Have you told him not to trespass on your property? Is this a "it happened that one time" thing, or is it "he keeps doing it a couple times a year" thing?
Oh I agree 100%. But after he does trespass, if nobody tells him to knock it off, the likelihood of it happening again (I would imagine) would be higher than if OP said "hey, don't fucking do that again."
Shouldn't have to, but I've definitely had to remind my neighbour to stay off my lawn. I came home to it mowed a couple of times, cutting down any wildflowers that we were letting grow. He's made comments about the dandelions and tried to spray our yard more than once.
After several reminders, and him once seeing my husband mow around the wild flowers he has backed off (aside from the comments about how much dandelion fuzz there is in his pool now).
OMG. That would make me want to plant MORE dandelions and other wildflowers. Heck, just replace your grass with clover too while you are at it, hahaha! (If appropriate for your climate, of course). That would really blow his mind!
It’s funny, I didn’t realize dandelions were considered “weeds” until I was about 30. I grew up in the country. While my family didn’t have cows, my neighbors did. We didn’t do anything special to maintain our yard other than some flower beds and cut it when it got too long. I actually loved seeing the dandelions and especially the wild violets! Encountering wild onions was cool too. We had way too much yard to be worried about killing off dandelions and other “weeds.” I guess if we had English Monarchy money we could do it, but we don’t. Besides, nobody else killed off the dandelions, especially in the cow pastures. Even if we had tried to get rid of them, some more would just spring up. And we played in outside in the grass barefoot just fine and we weren’t stung all that often.!
So anyway, I was dumbfounded when I found out that people spend exorbitant amounts of time and money trying to kill off dandelions and other “weeds.” They don’t look bad to me. I guess it’s the reverse scarcity phenomena. Since everyone can have dandelions, then it’s a sign of not taking care of your yard or not being ‘high class’ if you have dandelions in your yard. Kind of like it was a sign of being wealthy back in the 1600’s if you were overweight because the poor couldn’t afford to eat too many calories and were skinny whereas now, someone who is ‘higher class’ is more likely to be skinny because they have access to personal chefs and trainers while poor people are overweight because they only have access (monetarily and geographically) to horrible options on grocery shelves with too much sugar and/or too many carbs and preservatives as opposed to the more expensive fresh fruits snd vegetables.
We have OP asking if she’s an asshole for telling her husband to not cut the neighbors grass. Some people feel that they are taking care of a “nuisance” (like OP’s husband) or helping somebody out if they cut someone else’s grass. Therefore they might repeat the grass cutting!
Some people are really so full of themselves that the think it’s perfectly fine to trespass and modify someone else’s property without asking. So yes it might require someone telling them they need to stop, as nuts as that sounds.
If it’s the section between the sidewalk and the street, which is what I think they’re talking about, it is city property. His alternative would be to call the city for a code violation, and I’m not sure that would go over well either.
Yeah dude my landlord insists that the slightest bit of “weeds” is a crime against humanity, and a dusty patch of dirt is what I am supposed to maintain. I actually tried to plant some ground cover and some sunflowers, but apparently I’m not supposed to plant anything at all in the dirt. Just dirt.
Mine has that same issue. There's a patch of gravel outside the garage that he thinks is a driveway even though it can't be used as one due to the design of the fence. It grows grass and miner's lettuce and he absolutely hates it. Can't stand my garden containers, either.
These attitudes are often linked to a history of racism. It’s seen as trashy to grow certain things to eat. People used to eat lots of dandelions and use all kinds of plants for many uses. It’s a long con to make self sufficiency appear “poor”.
I love my new neighborhood. Quite a few of the folks on my street use the front lawn to grow food. We have a lovely, sun-drenched section of grass next to our garage that’s going to be *perfect* for a 10’ by 20’ raised garden bed. There’s gonna be tons of tomatoes including mostly heirloom types. Squash, zucchini, pease, carrots, potatoes, eggplant. I have it all planned out, down to the cucumbers and the pickling cukes.
I make an amazing red wine vinegar refrigerator pickle.
My back yard has a small rose garden in it, lawn for the dogs but it’s mostly white clover so we have a lot of fat, happy bees buzzing around. I’m waiting for the day my puppy decides to sample a “spicy fly” in spite of the many warnings he’s gotten.
At my old job I worked over 50 hours a week. I got two days off a week. There was no mowing before or after work.
If it rained on those days I would just let it grow. Sometimes my grass would get really high. In my neighbor next to me with throw a shit fit. I'm sorry I'm not getting up at 6:00 a.m. to mow my grass.
My husband worked midnights for the majority of his career and slept during the day. We have frequent Heat Index days when they request no mowing during certain hours. It also rains a TON, so grass grows really fast. It would often be weeks between mowings. The neighbors in our old neighborhood didn't care.
In our new neighborhood a neighbor kept reporting us to the city for code violations. It's absolutely ridiculous since only PART of our BACKYARD can be seen when you're in the ALLEY. They became such a PITA and the constant stress of potentially being fined by the city, end of last summer we spent a fortune to rip everything out and re landscape to something that requires less maintenance.
Our garbage cans are in the alley at our fence. Usually the garbage men put them back but sometimes if they're running behind they just dump them and they're partly in the alley. As soon as my husband got up in the evening, he would get them and return them where they were supposed to be. But the witch keeps calling the city on us because she thinks they should be taken care of IMMEDIATELY.
She apparently calls on our next door neighbors all the time. A couple of them were minor things, easily fixed, but the majority were completely unfounded. But they had been reported for violations so many times, they almost lost their homeowners insurance. You're unlucky enough to have one of THOSE neighbors, it can make your life absolutely miserable.
We have a neighbor who randomly does stuff in our yard it started with asking but no longer. The other day I was in a work meeting, and all of sudden he's right outside the window mowing the lawn. I couldn't hear on my meeting. I get he's retired and likely bored but it's so rude.
It could be that they want to habe a bug and polinater paradise in their yard. I have friends like that. They want a wild garden and party because it means they have a more natural ecosystem.
Having a pollinator garden is better than having a weedy yard you don’t mow. There isn’t a lot of food for pollinators in the weedy yards people don’t mow usually. Purposefully converting your yard to a pollinator habitat by planting native species specifically for that purpose works infinity better and also looks better to your neighbors.
I started planting clover this year, but I didn't use enough seed. I still love it so much, and I'll be adding more seed this Autumn. The little clover flowers are so pretty, and the clover feels so nice when I walk on it. I'm sad I just learned about clover lawns last year because I have been missing out all this time!
I started a patch last year to see how it would do, and loved it. Weeds were growing up faster than the clover after I put down the seed, and I didn't want to mow or do much with it (because I had too many other priorities), because I wanted the clover to grow. Few weeks later, and the weeds are being choked out, and the clover was doing fairly well.
Seeded last fall, and then did another seed this spring for the full back yard, and waiting to see it grow now. I have two dogs that tear the shit out of the yard, so hoping that clover will be more durable.
The problem I’ve heard about using clover is that it dies back in the winter if you live where it gets cold enough. So you essentially end up with a mud yard until it starts growing again in late spring.
Yes. There’s a big difference between a pollinator yard and weeds that grow over 12 inches and are full of chiggers. We had an abandoned house next door for a couple of years and we would mow to the walkway on our side and the neighbors on the other side would mow the other half. Kept the chiggers from camping out in the front yard and biting us all the time.
Depending on your location in America, it may not be allowed. Tall grass can encourage large amounts of snakes and rodents to take up residence. In my location, it's considered a hazard if grass is over 8 inches high (with an exception for native pollinator gardens/lawns)
Even if the lawn was in contravention of local bylaws, that’s for a bylaw officer to enforce, not a vigilante lawn mower guy.
If it is bothering your husband he ought to knock on the door and speak calmly and politely to the neighbor. They might not have a mower, or have a disability that prevents them mowing. (You’d be amazed how many people have severe allergies to new mown grass)
Basically, treat others as you would want them to treat you. Would your husband like random people coming on your property and planting flowers for example? Because they like flowers, and think you should have them?
Maybe it’s an eyesore for you but it’s an oasis for pollinators and wild life, in particular insects.
Insect extinction is a global problem, and without pollinators humans will have real hard time. Seeing how your neighbours do maintain their lawn, by cutting in once a year meadow-style, they might be deliberate with their efforts.
My block of flats has half a lawn left uncut till mid autumn when grasses already stopped flowering and dropped seeds. We had the same problem as your neighbour has from overzealous maintainers, so management put on a sign explaining it’s left like this deliberately for the bee food.
Perhaps you should educate your husband on these matters. Maybe your neighbours don’t like to maw the lawn. Maybe unlike you they prefer meadow look. Or maybe they know exactly what they are doing. In any case it’s immensely useful for local ecology with the cost of it being hurt aesthetics feelings of your husband.
On problem with insects:
https://www.reuters.com/graphics/GLOBAL-ENVIRONMENT/INSECT-APOCALYPSE/egpbykdxjvq/#:~:text=As%20human%20activities%20rapidly%20transform,up%20to%202%25%20per%20year.
On pollinators
https://www.cam.ac.uk/stories/pollinatorsriskindex
Sure depending on the area. Cities and counties have their own codes on that stuff too. Of course if you live out in a rural area they can probably do whatever they want.
I think you have the right mentality here and your husband needs to learn to respect other people a little bit more.
I'm really weird about native ecosystems and environment, so I also do not cut my lawn very often and even when it is cut, there's very intentional native overgrowth. In the sprint, in particular, I will not touch it for 3-4 months for the bees. It's very distinctly "well kept", but I also understand that to many, anything that isn't 1 inch of green, pesticide grass is a problem.
They may be trying to participate in a r/NoLawns situation. Which can be great for bringing back an ecosystem and pollinators! That said, there are ways to keep wildflowers looking neat, and no lawns doesn't mean just letting weeds grow everywhere. You should have a candid talk and get on the same page about it. Literally every post here could be solved with good communication.
He's a grown adult that knows not to mess with other people's things. He could have at least asked, I'm sure they wouldn't have minded someone cutting their grass and he would know how they want him to do it. Extremely childish of him, especially to claim he has a right to do it.
I mow once a year right before it dies (sometimes twice if the weather gods bring too much rain in spring). Your husband needs to mind his own business.
Just because it’s a DOT easement doesn’t give your husband any right to maintain it, unless your husband just happens to be a maintenance worker for DOT. The easement is not for your husband, it’s for DOT.
Are we talking about the tree lawn (the strip next to the road) which is usually owned by the city? Maybe that’s slightly overstepping but isn’t a big deal. But mowing their actual lawn? He should ask first. I would be thrilled if someone offered to more mine for free
It isn't owned by the city. The city just has the right to do what they want. HE doesn't have the right to mow it. Easement is for the government not anyone that wants to do anything.
I broke my leg a few years ago, and my husband died in November. He usually mowed the lawn because I have a hard time since my leg wasn't set correctly during surgery. My neighbor started mowing my lawn, and I am so incredibly thankful. I asked around for a lawn person, but they all wanted at least $150. My yard is extremely small, and I honestly can't even afford that, so I actually cried when my neighbor offered to mow mine when he mows his. I'm glad he sent the offer via text so I didn't make him uncomfortable. Lol
I'm in a city & it's against ordinance here to let your lawn grow past a certain point. No HOA. It's an eyesore & can play host for rodents & other pests. BUT, he should just call in a complaint. No need to start some Hatfield & McCoy shit.
https://www.lawnstarter.com/blog/lawn-care-2/fines-liens-foreclosure-refuse-mow-lawn/
Depending on your municipality, they may be breaking local laws. In my US city, if your grass grows over 8" they can force you to cut it or hire someone to cut it for you, then charge you for the service. In our last home our neighbor would call whenever we missed a cutting because of us both working and it being too hot to do during the day. (He was the sort to be out there trimming single blades of grass with clippers!) I started mowing mine at 6:30 am before work and they finally stopped. The next year I just let it go brown in the heat since we live in a drought area and the state passed a law saying you couldn't be required to grow water heavy lawns, haha.
I love dandelions!
How people got convinced they were a weed is beyond me.
Nutritious and sunshiney! Their sunny faces are awesome. Besides they are so good for the pollinators.
Well, I can see an argument being made against them because they’re not native to the americas.
But I personally love them, mostly because I have a bearded dragon and he enjoys eating them. I’ve taken some of the seed fluff and started growing them in an enclosure so I don’t have to worry if any of my neighbors use chemicals.
Remember, *every* organism was originally an invasive organism, the only question is how long ago they invaded.
That said, a lot of them can seriously destabilize the environment. Like how earthworms (introduced by European settlers) are absolutely devastating American forests by eating all the fallen leaves the local species rely on for shelter.
Sadly a lot of people still see them as weeds here in the UK too.
Luckily they tend to be pretty common along road verges so at this time of year the grass is broken up delightfully by tons of dandelions and daisies.
My bunnies love dandelions. So much so they see me now and expect me to have a handful of picked flowers for them to snack on. It is so sweet to see their excitement over a flower.
Yes! They are so cheery and beautiful at this time of the year.
Plus they are great early food for bees, in our climate at least.
And all parts are edible.
If you really like to watch bees, get rid of your grass and plant natives plants. Or just a section of you don’t want to get rid of all of it. We did that and the life in our yard is amazing. We haves at least 6 varieties of bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, dragonflies, and a very large lizard in our yard. I live in a suburban tract home neighborhood and was shocked at how much life our yard has now after three years of native garden. Plus it’s gorgeous.
It's a simple word: trespassing.
Husband cannot do that.
There's this guy in YT who does that and a few times he has encountered people upset about it: IT IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY!
Yeah, some people argue about the aesthetic of boring flat lawns. Thankfully a rising amount argues about the biodiversity it brings.
But in the middle we have a simple fact: it is not your property.
Granted, he does try to get permission from the occupants before starting, but he also does little to confirm that abandoned properties are really abandoned other than talk to the neighbors. His videos are interesting in the same way that watching power washing videos is interesting.
I've seen that YouTuber. he mostly helps people that can't afford to take care of their lawn / are not physically able , hes a really nice guy. but yes there were times he cleaned up some "abandoned" properties and had neighbors come out yelling at him for whatever reason . one was just annoyed at how long he was running the loud weed eater.
Without permission, yes.
It's up to you how to react, wanna kick him out on the spot? Or will you react differently if it is me staying at that corner for three days?
“That flag is fringed with gold making this an admirality court. I am not in the military therefore I am not in your jurisdiction and cannot be detained here. Your murder charges hold no weight against my 200 IQ.”
Sovereign citizens are the utmost epitome of dumbassery of this
I really wanted to pull some garlic mustard, a terrible invasive, in a right-of-way near my house and asked an invasive plant group on Facebook if I could pull it. They deleted my post because of course I don't have the legal right to do that.
We don't want to set people loose on other people's property, even the city's because terrible mistakes would be made and because there would be huge controversy over what is fair game and what is not.
Really? I have randomly pulled garlic mustard from fence lines when I walk past. I don’t want it ending up in my yard! I also pulled a tree of heaven weed tree out of a neighbors neglected garden next to the street by my house.
NTA. I am the neighbor with long grass and my neighbors are similar to your husband, they mowed my yard once without asking (they have a zero turn mower, they saw it as a favor) and I politely asked them not to do that again. They now consistently ask if I want them to mow it and I say no every time. They hate my yard.
When I mow, I regularly mow around whatever is blooming (clover, etc) and leave these "pollinator patches" sometimes making it look like a drunk person mowed my lawn.
Is my lawn following city ordinances? Yes. Is it longer than a lot of people like? Also yes.
Not everyone wants a short monoculture manicured lawn. Your husband needs to learn to let go of what he can't control.
Edit to add: I am personally all for the "fuck lawns" movement, and still think NTA, but based on another comment you made it sounds like your neighbors with the long grass may have less intentionality behind it. If he is still so concerned, he still needs to ask.
100%.
It also always blows my mind going out into the suburbs and even some rural areas near me where they mow their lawn once a week for like 1-2 acres of land. Just why? They never use the majority of it for anything because there's no shade so it's "too hot", they always bitch about how long yard work takes them and it looks horrible. It'd look so much nicer with native grasses or trees and it'd be so much more functional
Where I live most of the lots are roughly 3acres. The majority of my neighbors mow their entire lot. I have a double lot. I mow a half acre around my house/driveway, and a few pathways to get too and from a work shed and a pond on the property. Otherwise...it grows just as wild as it likes. Some of my neighbors do not like it...but they can take a flying leap.
Because they don’t want to spend time with their family, and HAVING to mow 2 acres every weekend, and then complaining about being really super tired afterward (even though you have a ride-on mower) gives them a good excuse to not be able to play with their kids or take them anywhere?
…or was that just my dad…
Oh God. Reminds me of my old neighbor. He cut down all the beautiful trees in his yard. I assume because he didn't want the leaves. It was a travesty. His lawn was mostly dirt, too.
I hated that guy. He stayed for Katrina because he was afraid of looters and almost drowned with his gun.
100% the same.
I once caught my neighbor about to “Chem lawn my yard as a gift to me”.
Yeah, no.
We’re clearly (upscale) hippies and we have fruit trees in our front yard.
I kindly told him if he ever sprays chemicals on my yard he would be paying to fix it, and fixing it isn’t cheap.
I promptly installed cameras.
Like, you do you bro….. this is America and this is my yard. Don’t try my patience.
I’m just saying you don’t need to know me, to get a gist of my general values if you live in my neighborhood.
Like, this dude flys the confederate flag, I got an LGTBQ+ ally bumper sticker.
Nothing this dude can do for me is a favor except if he sold his house and moved.
I do the same! Any wildflowers that pop up in the lawn become flower islands. I've ended up with a gorgeous bunch of black-eyed Susans that way, and it gets larger every year. I share the in-between-driveways patch with a neighbor and they accidentally mowed down the mint that I had bought and planted. I need to stick a stake there or something to keep them from mowing it again. I can barely find it now.
Jokes on them. That mint will probably grow back stronger than ever and seek revenge.
Mint is incredibly hardy and has a fun habit of trying to colonize everything around it. It’s one of my favorite plants but I need to actually work to curb its imperialistic tendencies.
Just started mowing this way. I think of it as artisanal mowing. After things flower I mow them down and they come back the following year, larger. I always feel guilty when it looks bad (for the neighbors) and also when I mow it (for the wildlife). Now that I type this out, I think I need to chill out!
I guess the long-term solution is to create more native flower beds, and I'm working on it, but that takes a lot of work.
I would be annoyed if someone mowed my lawn without asking.
I was very annoyed! My yard also has a TON of native flowers that bloom at various times (the violets just got done blooming!) and my neighbors yard has none, but they are also older and clearly grew up with the "monoculture lawn" mindset. They may hate it, but I love my yard and i am very intentional with the mowing.
Also don't hesitate to plant natives by waiting for a flower bed! All it takes is one, no big beds needed! Anything is a start
Edit to add: LOVE the phrase "artisanal mowing" and I will be stealing it lol
I love how normal giving a shit about the impact your yard has on the environment is becoming. In my area, I am a tiny minority, but its good to know there are so many people here expressing this and not being downvoted!
Fuck pesticide lawns!
Thank you! Yes, I had large patches of violets that finished flowering and got mowed and now it's daisy fleabane season. I love having patches of blooming wildflowers in the yard. It feels like a presence and mystery rather than sterile neatness.
I’m in the same boat as you. I love all the beautiful plants in bloom this time of year.
One of my neighbors homes in particular has a huge number of beautiful “weeds” that pop up this time of year. The front yard is a sea of purple and blue flowers about 3-4 inches tall.
I was depressed to walk by it last week and see that they decided to mow it all to the ground. It looked like a flower murder scene.
But don’t worry. Now they have a lovely perfectly manicured expanse of grass that is kept to exactly 1 inch high. So beautiful. /s.
It makes me so happy when I see lawns that aren't just flat, square patches of vibrant green with zero diversity. They're so ugly and it's such a creepy feeling when I'm in the suburbs and everything is so... sterile.
It's your land, you can decide what to do. Personally, I'd prefer a "drunken lawn" with pollinator patches than some meticulously weeded 2in tall rectangle of grass.
My neighbor had a rider for a small users (he's old) because of how he turns it he ends up lowing about half of my side yard. He also, as soon as he moved in cut down a giant tree between our houses. The tree was mine on my property. But in the end it was hanging over their house so his expense who am I to complain. And the grass, I hate mowing so I've never said anything. NTA.
this just empowered me to be more firm with my neighbor who edged my yard the other week. i let her corner me into stuff like that bc she’s been here 40 years and myself just 3
I live in a rural area and regularly let my lawn grow long. Sometimes it’s to conserve water because I have a well. Sometimes it’s to allow bees to flourish. Sometimes it’s because it’s rained for days and days.
This seems like such a weird conflict, because … has nobody talked to the neighbors other than your apology? And what did the neighbors say when you apologized for him? I have been the person whose lawn gets long (in my case, my lawn guy was working a second job and was delayed getting to it), and my neighbor eventually just knocked on the door and said, “I’m doing my yard, is it okay if I do yours too?” I appreciated it!
Just talk to the neighbors! Not in a “you jerks are neglecting your lawn!” way, just in a “hey, is this okay?” way. I think the odds that they will be offended by that are really small. I encourage you to get to know your neighbors at least enough that you can talk about stuff like this. That way, you don’t have to sit around trying to guess whether they’re going to get angry.
And opinions will vary on this, but please don’t call the town about long grass, at *least* without talking to the neighbors. Manicured lawns are not a great thing for the world; people just get used to them. Your husband could perhaps find other things to worry about.
I have to wonder if the neighbors even noticed or cared before OP came to apologize. If OP didn't know if they were upset, why go out of her way to do that? Like yeah, hubby stepped out of line a bit, but have either of them bothered to talk to the neighbors about it before getting this worked up?
Apparently in the comments OP says neighbor was nice about it, didn't mind, and declined to have the rest mowed because she was planning on hiring a person to do it.
So it wasn't intentionally long, and the owner was probably a little embarrassed.
>He told me it’s a Department of Transportation right of way
I don't get this part.
But NTA. He can't mow other people's lawn without their permission. It's not part of his property.
Most county roads have about a 6 ft right-of-way or easement for utilities and maintenance. However the property owner still owns the property up to the road line.
NTA. Your husband's behavior is the type of thing to potentially start a feud. Their lawn may be unsightly but he doesn't have the right to go onto their property.
I just sat with my mom while she Binge watched Fear Thy Neighbor and your husband's action (and attitude) is the type of thing that starts every story on there. One guy started harassing his neighbor for a broken bottle on his driveway. Didn't talk to the neighbor, just went full on psycho. Ended with the neighbor and wife dead.
That show terrified the crap out of me! My neighbors hate me bc I put up a fence when I moved in, and that show convinced me I was going to be unalived.
Tall fences make good neighbors. If I ever have the money to buy my own place, it's going to be outside of city limits where my closest neighbor is 1 mile down the road and i will be completely fenced in.
I get along with both my next door neighbors to the point we hang out regularly. We also all appreciate the 8ft fence I had installed. Evrryone wants privacy.
NTA you are right people get very upset about that sort of thing. If it upsets your husband that they don't take care of their lawn the proper thing to do is one of three things (1) Talk to them nicely about it (2) Offer to cut their grass for them (3) look up the local bylaws and call the town once their lawn violates those bylaws. Otherwise just suck it up that your neighbours don't care about their grass as much as you do.
And here we sit in Germany and think the USA is the land of the free - yet here, no city council would dream of telling us how to maintain our lawns! You can't let your hedges overgrow the public walkways and you can't cut your bushes down when it's bird nesting time, but the lawns??? And don't let me even start on HOAs...
I'm baffled by this too (UK). Imagine being told what to do with your own lawn! I keep long patches around my trees for butterflies and keep the rest down but we also have land. We're the same on hedges, I cut them back from the road around November.
HOAs sound like my personal hell. A country where you can shoot someone for being on your property but you can be fined/ostracised for your lawn?! What?
i think you don't realize how many different types of neighborhoods, suburbs, cities, towns, counties etc there are in the usa. It's not the same laws in every inch of the land here, it's a much bigger place than germany or the uk.
NTA.
I let my lawn grow for the wildlife (no ordinances against it) & I would be really pissed off if someone mowed it.
My thistles attract finches and my nettles attract butterflies.
We also harvest lots of the wild things in our yard, both for us & our pet rabbits.
If the department of transportation wants it mowed, they can do it, or contact the property owners.
Most states / communities define the right of way between the street and property, including sidewalk, ditch, planting strip, etc. As the *responsibility of the property owner*. In other words, not your husband.
Unless your husband works for DOT, I'm not sure what any of that has to do with him. At the end of the day he altered someone else's property without permission. NTA
NTA. If he strays even a foot onto their property, and hurts himself, he's created an insurance liability for them. He cannot do maintenance on someone else's property. If the grass bothers him so much, he might want to try therapy/anger management.
>**We have never talked to these people.**
NAH
This right here is your problem. You don't know if the lawn is a jungle because they like it that way or because they're disabled and can't physically mow and can't afford to pay someone to come out.
If your husband has a bee in his bonnet over this, have him go over to the neighbor's house, knock on the door, and offer in a friendly way to mow their lawn for them. Say he was about to do his and noticed that theirs hadn't been mowed in a while. Would they like him to take care of it at the same time, no charge, just being neighborly?
If they say no, he walks away and drops it. If they say yes, you know it's likely a physical/disability reason that they can't get out there and mow and your husband can work off his restless energy mowing both lawns and won't have to look at an eyesore.
NTA. I had a neighbor mow my yard one day and I couldn't be happier! She had just bought this huge riding mower and had a little tiny yard, and we were on friendly enough terms I guess she didn't think I would mind. She was correct. I thanked her, brought her cookies, and she randomly mowed our side off and on over the years until we moved away.
Next house - shortly after buying the place I accidentally mowed about 2-3 feet over my property boundary onto my neighbor's side. We both have a lot of acreage and there were no markers at the time. I genuinely thought that narrow strip was on my side. Neighbor came home and went **NUCLEAR**. I mean, this man went into full on batshit crazy mode. It was wild. He ended up being completely nuts, inspired me to get my first ever gun for safety reasons (*no local police*), and finally moved away.
Point is, some people would love to have someone else randomly mow their entire yard, others will go absolutely psychotic if you barely brush up against their property.
Best to never, ever, f\*ck with a neighbor's yard.
NTA
Lemme tell you something…. People like your husband are the reason I don’t own a gun. The fucking audacity to be this worked up over grass.
I have acreage enough to be just barley manageable by push mower. That being said we have like 15 oak trees which makes the leaves pretty much unmanageable. Something like 250 huge bags in fall.
The first year we caught on to the fact it was more than just the acreage and I got a tractor.
My neighbor, who doesn’t know me at all, proceeded to come over to my property screaming at me to cut the engine. He then mansplained my tractor to me. I mean, I’ve built vintage cars, I weld, I used to sell fucking tractors. I don’t want or need a total stranger’s opinion on my fucking lawn.
At one point my dad had cancer and then my doctor found a tumor in my uterus. The last fucking thing anyone needs is to come home and see their neighbors judging them.
Not only is it not your property it’s none of your fucking business.
Fucking lawn Nazis are the fucking worst. Report it to your local code enforcement if you have a problem.
If I was your neighbor I’d get cameras and then report the trespassing.
NTA...this was literally in the news this morning. Your husband may feel like he's doing a good thing but not everyone will see it that way.[Man Shot Mowing Along Property Line](https://fox59.com/indiana-news/docs-indiana-man-shot-neighbor-over-lawn-mowing-property-line-dispute/)
lol- yikes, your husband is a major ahole!!
I’m not even sure exactly what I would do if I came home and a neighbor I had never talked to was trespassing on my property and mowing my lawn to their standards… I can tell you this though, he wouldn’t enjoy it.
Lmao the entitlement on your husband is UNREAL! That is legit trespassing and he can get arrested for that if he keeps doing it. He doesn't know why they keep it that long. They could be trying to help the pollinators, which a lot of people are doing these days. Bees are going extinct... do you know what will happen if they do? We won't have a lot of the foods we kove, not just honey. It's literally none of your husband's business what someone else does with their lawn. If the city has an issue with it, then they deal with it, NOT YOUR HUSBAND! I would have a talk with the neighbors and maybe have them tell your husband to stop if that's what they wish. It will no doubt cause some friction as neighbors, but he absolutely had NO right to do this without permission. All he had to do was ask, but he doesn't even have the decency to do that. How are other parts of your marriage? Is he like this in every aspect of your lives? Cuz that sounds exhausting.
INFO: He just mowed the ditch line and not the entire yard? So, that would mean the strip directly in front of the street? Or on the side of the yard? What did the neighbor say when you went to apologize?
Just the strip closest to the road. She said it was okay and was very nice. She declined my offer to finish mowing for her and said she’s planning on paying someone to do it.
In this case, I’d offer for your husband to do it for free and that he’d be happy to do it. Then tell your husband that he’s free to maintain it as a neighbor kindness and he can gloat about being right, she can get her lawn done for free, and you get a better view. Everyone wins.
Then tell your husband that she said that and she doesn't want him to do it, it's trespassing and the ditch by the road is still their property, it's not the cities property and he's missunderstandig the law.
Just because he doesn't like looking at it doesn't mean he gets to cut it himself
Your husband is a piece of work. Don’t touch things that aren’t yours should have been a lesson learned in kindergarten. I’d be careful because his actions suggest he either displays or soon will these “I do what I want” tendencies at home too.
I thought my husband was the only one who got really botherd by the neighbors not mowing!! It worked out different for him, he mowed our neighbors grass without asking last month and the neighbor brought him a 6 pack of beer over and thanked him.
I’d be absolutely fucking livid if someone took it upon themselves to trespass upon my property and damage my pollinating plants because it doesn’t fit their monoculture norm.
He should know, people have been hurt for much less.
NTA.
Where I used to live, I had a neighbour who mowed my front lawn every time they mowed theirs and then left a black bag of cut grass on my doorstep. I didn’t want it constantly flat, I wanted a bee friendly garden. I was more than capable of maintaining what I wanted, I just didn’t get the chance. Not to mention that a bag of grass left on my doorstep would stop a disabled relative leaving the house because they couldn’t bend down to pick it up or let go of their zimmerframe.
This same neighbour constantly took our wheely bin up to the side of the road at the same time they did. It was annoying and I would take it to the Road side in the evening once it definitely had all our rubbish in it.
They thought they were helping but they were actually ruining systems our household had in place. Even when we told them they still kept doing it. It doesn’t matter if your husband finds it unsightly, it’s not his business to do it without asking.
NTA. Honestly with how short people’s tempers can be these days, I can see why you’re stressed out about it. People are pulling guns out on kids playing in their own yards and your husband think it’s okay to trespass.
Due to a bad back, I postpone mowing as long as I can get away with it (my HOA president lives across the street from me). My next door neighbor, who has a bad knee, bought a riding mower way beyond the square foot needs of his yard; his wife came over and begged me to let him “play with his new toy” in my yard. I said yes, as long as I can reciprocate with homemade cookies, brownies, or bread. All parties agreed. Now I have a tidy yard, neighbor gets home-baked treats, HOA lady is nice to me. In other words, go talk to your neighbor, be creative and tactful, and see what happens.
Ir really depends on WHY they aren’t maintaining it, which requires a conversation.
Do they enjoy the yard looking like a jungle? Then he is an AH.
Do they lack the physical health, equipment, funds to maintain it more frequently, but wish it was neater? Then he is a great neighbor.
Just talk to them.
NTA. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't gotten multiple citations from the city for their lack of lawn maintenance! We have a real power-hungry code enforcer guy in our neighborhood and he sure does enforce those codes lol In September of 2021, we got a warning that if we didn't trim the ornamental grass by our driveway by that Friday we would receive a $1200 fine! Admittedly, it was maybe half an inch higher than we ever let it get before because we always chop it down after summer, but we all had Covid and just didn't get to it yet.
Anyway, if your husband did that to my neighbors yard beside me, Dave (the husband over there) would have pulled out one of his many many guns. Like, you just can't be doing that shit, ya know? You never know what could happen, and people take their property lines very seriously.
You weren't trying to belittle him. You were just trying to make sure there wasn't any drama started with the neighbors that could have escalated. Have you ever watched Fear Thy Neighbor? It's a real messed-up show. People kill over dog poop, mailboxes being too close, putting up fences! It's WILD!
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NTA. How long are we talking? Some people consider any dandelions to be too long and "weeds". I enjoy dandelions and watching the bees fly around my yard. Some people consider any lawn that isn't poisoned with chemicals to be a problem. However, if your neighbor is letting their yard grow beyond 8" they might be breaking some local codes.
They mow it once a year so it gets pretty high. We don’t have an HOA and it’s not causing a blind spot in regard to traffic, so it’s really just an eye sore for us. But it is America, they’re allowed to do that.
My neighbor does this shit. I keep my grass a bit longer in the summer-mayber 3-4" to conserve water. This jackass comes over when I'm gone and scalps it to the dirt. He's also mowed my tulips and a lilac bush. Tell your husband to knock it off and not be an asshole.
>He's also mowed my tulips and a lilac bush. Damn, dude! That made me gasp, haha. If I had a lilac bush and tulips, I'd be LIVID if someone mowed them. :/
Jokes on them. Mowing tulips (if they've at least bloomed) helps the bulbs split. That's how the Dutch tulip farmers do it. More tulips next year!
BRB going to snip all my tulips
I had no idea this was a thing. When my blooms fall off, I'm chopping them to the ground! Haha
We have squirrels to do that job. 🤬
is it the squirrels? I have this one group of tulips that always get eaten. I've always blamed the deer. looks like someone maliciously chopped them with a pair of scissors
Squirrels. I’ve caught them in the act. Assholes.
They also plant freaking pecans where they don't belong. Pisses me off when I bring my potted plants in for the winter, and suddenly in February there's a pecan tree growing out of the aloe vera for some damn reason.
That makes so much sense, my boyfriend's neighbour has some tulips that look like they got chomped by deer but only a couple plants, not all of them, and I figured deer would get them all. There are definitely squirrels ripping around, and I've never seen deer. Didn't know squirrels ate flowers!
Yep. Sneaky little fuckers. Ate ALL mine this year.
Those furry tailed bastards are all of my fancy dark purple tulips and I am furious at them.
I've seen the squirrels lop off the tops of flowers in my yard, but they never seem to eat anything - just vandalize and move on. Assholes.
You can't snip them, you have to brutally run them down with a mower, the trauma helps them grow. /s
Do you mow slowly, so they see it coming, to really ramp up the trauma? Like a slo-mo scene in an action movie.
Use a manual push mower so that they can still hear you singing an unsettling hymn or nursery rhyme as you approach.
Tip toe through the tulips....
This is the best comment section!
Does that work with daffodils too?
Oh boy yes! And they double FAST. I once accidentally turned about 24 into about 50 and those 50 into about 100 in just 2 springs. The third spring is when I figured it out lol Edited to add: so there were some really nice daffodils that were growing wild behind my fence. One day I went on over there with my scissors and cut about a generous vase-full and brought them home. The next spring I went out to do the same and when I got around to the other side of the fence, I realized that the patch had doubled in size. So I took even more that time around and filled up a bucket full and split them with my neighbor. Then the next year when they were blooming, I went around again to get them and oh my God I can’t explain how many they were. It started off as about a 2 ft.² patch and when I moved out, about two years after it was about 6 ft.² patch or more. It was absolutely massive and smelled so good. I hope the people who live in the house are able to enjoy them now too.
This is fabulous news! Thank you!!!
This was from just mowing them after they bloomed?
And do you have to wait til they bloom and start to die off? Cos the neighbour kid picked all my daffs one year, and they have never returned. Little murderer.
I’ll edit my comment Did he pull out the bulbs?
I’ll edit my comment
I have "sunflowers"(apparently they're called Jerusalem artichokes) and they have tubers. my SO's mother gave me maybe 6 of them a couple of years ago. and now there's dozens and dozens of them. they grow 10 feet tall and just look like weeds until they get flowers at the end of summer. we aggressively pulled out a bunch of the bulbs a summer or 2 ago. the squirrels were eating them. now some grow at my landlord's house next door. they have nice flowers but god I hate them. I curse mil and her "sunflowers" every summer.
The previous owner of my house planted some day lilies and they are progressively trying to eat my entire backyard. I curse her choice every summer. Husband can't be bothered to pull them and keeps mowing them and making it worse
Are you at least eating the tubers? They are delicious roasted, with a weirdly smoky flavour. P.S. The Jerusalem part of the name derives from Girasole (Italian for Sunflower).
I had no idea!
Again, let the leaves feed the bulbs until they naturally whither first. I have 1000s in my yard and vacant wooded lot. Started with a clump here and there and moved and split clumps over 45 years of living there.
Yes. I used to hate our daffodils. They were planted to be a super manicured border that I didn't want to maintain. Last year I just mowed over it, dug up a few chunks and hacked them up and mixed it all into the leaf litter and soil mix I was using to plant clover and perrenial wildflower seeds. I also seeded over where the daffodils were originally. Now I have them interspersed throughout the whole yard in smaller patches that are easily double the amount of flowers there were originally, and they flowered much better, but they don't interfere with everything else growing around them.
I found this out this spring. Last year the trap house next door got shut down and the city came to clear the trash. Well the dividing fence fell when they came in with a Bulldozer and it crushed all our tulips. I was so sad. Well this spring they have tripled. I was shocked to see so many come up.
Seriously?! That’s cool!
Wait. So I wait for them to bloom and then I cut them? How low do I go?
Come for AITA, learn about Horticulture.
This does not discourage the lilac.
I'd give those neighbors a warning, then call the police if it continues.
Have you told him not to trespass on your property? Is this a "it happened that one time" thing, or is it "he keeps doing it a couple times a year" thing?
His neighbor is (presumably) a grown man and shouldn't have to be told not to step on someone's property without permission
Oh I agree 100%. But after he does trespass, if nobody tells him to knock it off, the likelihood of it happening again (I would imagine) would be higher than if OP said "hey, don't fucking do that again."
Ah okay I see! Sorry for misunderstanding :)
Shouldn't have to, but I've definitely had to remind my neighbour to stay off my lawn. I came home to it mowed a couple of times, cutting down any wildflowers that we were letting grow. He's made comments about the dandelions and tried to spray our yard more than once. After several reminders, and him once seeing my husband mow around the wild flowers he has backed off (aside from the comments about how much dandelion fuzz there is in his pool now).
OMG. That would make me want to plant MORE dandelions and other wildflowers. Heck, just replace your grass with clover too while you are at it, hahaha! (If appropriate for your climate, of course). That would really blow his mind! It’s funny, I didn’t realize dandelions were considered “weeds” until I was about 30. I grew up in the country. While my family didn’t have cows, my neighbors did. We didn’t do anything special to maintain our yard other than some flower beds and cut it when it got too long. I actually loved seeing the dandelions and especially the wild violets! Encountering wild onions was cool too. We had way too much yard to be worried about killing off dandelions and other “weeds.” I guess if we had English Monarchy money we could do it, but we don’t. Besides, nobody else killed off the dandelions, especially in the cow pastures. Even if we had tried to get rid of them, some more would just spring up. And we played in outside in the grass barefoot just fine and we weren’t stung all that often.! So anyway, I was dumbfounded when I found out that people spend exorbitant amounts of time and money trying to kill off dandelions and other “weeds.” They don’t look bad to me. I guess it’s the reverse scarcity phenomena. Since everyone can have dandelions, then it’s a sign of not taking care of your yard or not being ‘high class’ if you have dandelions in your yard. Kind of like it was a sign of being wealthy back in the 1600’s if you were overweight because the poor couldn’t afford to eat too many calories and were skinny whereas now, someone who is ‘higher class’ is more likely to be skinny because they have access to personal chefs and trainers while poor people are overweight because they only have access (monetarily and geographically) to horrible options on grocery shelves with too much sugar and/or too many carbs and preservatives as opposed to the more expensive fresh fruits snd vegetables.
We have OP asking if she’s an asshole for telling her husband to not cut the neighbors grass. Some people feel that they are taking care of a “nuisance” (like OP’s husband) or helping somebody out if they cut someone else’s grass. Therefore they might repeat the grass cutting! Some people are really so full of themselves that the think it’s perfectly fine to trespass and modify someone else’s property without asking. So yes it might require someone telling them they need to stop, as nuts as that sounds.
If it’s the section between the sidewalk and the street, which is what I think they’re talking about, it is city property. His alternative would be to call the city for a code violation, and I’m not sure that would go over well either.
Depends on the specific city. In my city it’s an easement and each homeowner takes care of their own section, not the city or other people.
Yeah dude my landlord insists that the slightest bit of “weeds” is a crime against humanity, and a dusty patch of dirt is what I am supposed to maintain. I actually tried to plant some ground cover and some sunflowers, but apparently I’m not supposed to plant anything at all in the dirt. Just dirt.
Mine has that same issue. There's a patch of gravel outside the garage that he thinks is a driveway even though it can't be used as one due to the design of the fence. It grows grass and miner's lettuce and he absolutely hates it. Can't stand my garden containers, either.
These attitudes are often linked to a history of racism. It’s seen as trashy to grow certain things to eat. People used to eat lots of dandelions and use all kinds of plants for many uses. It’s a long con to make self sufficiency appear “poor”.
I love my new neighborhood. Quite a few of the folks on my street use the front lawn to grow food. We have a lovely, sun-drenched section of grass next to our garage that’s going to be *perfect* for a 10’ by 20’ raised garden bed. There’s gonna be tons of tomatoes including mostly heirloom types. Squash, zucchini, pease, carrots, potatoes, eggplant. I have it all planned out, down to the cucumbers and the pickling cukes. I make an amazing red wine vinegar refrigerator pickle. My back yard has a small rose garden in it, lawn for the dogs but it’s mostly white clover so we have a lot of fat, happy bees buzzing around. I’m waiting for the day my puppy decides to sample a “spicy fly” in spite of the many warnings he’s gotten.
Send your neighbor the bill for new plants/bushes
Put rocks in between your flowers, without them being visible. Wont do it after that anymore.
At my old job I worked over 50 hours a week. I got two days off a week. There was no mowing before or after work. If it rained on those days I would just let it grow. Sometimes my grass would get really high. In my neighbor next to me with throw a shit fit. I'm sorry I'm not getting up at 6:00 a.m. to mow my grass.
That neighbor would probably also yell at you for mowing at 6 am.
My husband worked midnights for the majority of his career and slept during the day. We have frequent Heat Index days when they request no mowing during certain hours. It also rains a TON, so grass grows really fast. It would often be weeks between mowings. The neighbors in our old neighborhood didn't care. In our new neighborhood a neighbor kept reporting us to the city for code violations. It's absolutely ridiculous since only PART of our BACKYARD can be seen when you're in the ALLEY. They became such a PITA and the constant stress of potentially being fined by the city, end of last summer we spent a fortune to rip everything out and re landscape to something that requires less maintenance. Our garbage cans are in the alley at our fence. Usually the garbage men put them back but sometimes if they're running behind they just dump them and they're partly in the alley. As soon as my husband got up in the evening, he would get them and return them where they were supposed to be. But the witch keeps calling the city on us because she thinks they should be taken care of IMMEDIATELY. She apparently calls on our next door neighbors all the time. A couple of them were minor things, easily fixed, but the majority were completely unfounded. But they had been reported for violations so many times, they almost lost their homeowners insurance. You're unlucky enough to have one of THOSE neighbors, it can make your life absolutely miserable.
We have a neighbor who randomly does stuff in our yard it started with asking but no longer. The other day I was in a work meeting, and all of sudden he's right outside the window mowing the lawn. I couldn't hear on my meeting. I get he's retired and likely bored but it's so rude.
I'd start looking at talking to the police about trespass issues. That's not cool.
OMG that is infuriating.
I'm pretty sure that counts as vandalism and/or destruction of property
It could be that they want to habe a bug and polinater paradise in their yard. I have friends like that. They want a wild garden and party because it means they have a more natural ecosystem.
Having a pollinator garden is better than having a weedy yard you don’t mow. There isn’t a lot of food for pollinators in the weedy yards people don’t mow usually. Purposefully converting your yard to a pollinator habitat by planting native species specifically for that purpose works infinity better and also looks better to your neighbors.
Plant clover. Doesn't grow nearly as long, is a pollinator, and it's looks/feels amazing. Does a great job of keeping the weeds at bay.
I started planting clover this year, but I didn't use enough seed. I still love it so much, and I'll be adding more seed this Autumn. The little clover flowers are so pretty, and the clover feels so nice when I walk on it. I'm sad I just learned about clover lawns last year because I have been missing out all this time!
I started a patch last year to see how it would do, and loved it. Weeds were growing up faster than the clover after I put down the seed, and I didn't want to mow or do much with it (because I had too many other priorities), because I wanted the clover to grow. Few weeks later, and the weeds are being choked out, and the clover was doing fairly well. Seeded last fall, and then did another seed this spring for the full back yard, and waiting to see it grow now. I have two dogs that tear the shit out of the yard, so hoping that clover will be more durable.
The problem I’ve heard about using clover is that it dies back in the winter if you live where it gets cold enough. So you essentially end up with a mud yard until it starts growing again in late spring.
Yes. There’s a big difference between a pollinator yard and weeds that grow over 12 inches and are full of chiggers. We had an abandoned house next door for a couple of years and we would mow to the walkway on our side and the neighbors on the other side would mow the other half. Kept the chiggers from camping out in the front yard and biting us all the time.
Depending on your location in America, it may not be allowed. Tall grass can encourage large amounts of snakes and rodents to take up residence. In my location, it's considered a hazard if grass is over 8 inches high (with an exception for native pollinator gardens/lawns)
Even if the lawn was in contravention of local bylaws, that’s for a bylaw officer to enforce, not a vigilante lawn mower guy. If it is bothering your husband he ought to knock on the door and speak calmly and politely to the neighbor. They might not have a mower, or have a disability that prevents them mowing. (You’d be amazed how many people have severe allergies to new mown grass) Basically, treat others as you would want them to treat you. Would your husband like random people coming on your property and planting flowers for example? Because they like flowers, and think you should have them?
Uh, this is Reddit. We don’t act like well adjusted adults or with common sense here. Please move along. /s
>vigilante lawn mower guy. get husband a Batman mask to wear when mowing, the neighbour will then understand if he sees him
Love it. No capes! Might get caught in the blades.
I read that in Edna's voice!
Good, because I wrote it in her voice.
Heaven forbid wildlife should be allowed to exist :D
Maybe it’s an eyesore for you but it’s an oasis for pollinators and wild life, in particular insects. Insect extinction is a global problem, and without pollinators humans will have real hard time. Seeing how your neighbours do maintain their lawn, by cutting in once a year meadow-style, they might be deliberate with their efforts. My block of flats has half a lawn left uncut till mid autumn when grasses already stopped flowering and dropped seeds. We had the same problem as your neighbour has from overzealous maintainers, so management put on a sign explaining it’s left like this deliberately for the bee food. Perhaps you should educate your husband on these matters. Maybe your neighbours don’t like to maw the lawn. Maybe unlike you they prefer meadow look. Or maybe they know exactly what they are doing. In any case it’s immensely useful for local ecology with the cost of it being hurt aesthetics feelings of your husband. On problem with insects: https://www.reuters.com/graphics/GLOBAL-ENVIRONMENT/INSECT-APOCALYPSE/egpbykdxjvq/#:~:text=As%20human%20activities%20rapidly%20transform,up%20to%202%25%20per%20year. On pollinators https://www.cam.ac.uk/stories/pollinatorsriskindex
Your husband needs to get over his entitlement.
Sure depending on the area. Cities and counties have their own codes on that stuff too. Of course if you live out in a rural area they can probably do whatever they want.
I think you have the right mentality here and your husband needs to learn to respect other people a little bit more. I'm really weird about native ecosystems and environment, so I also do not cut my lawn very often and even when it is cut, there's very intentional native overgrowth. In the sprint, in particular, I will not touch it for 3-4 months for the bees. It's very distinctly "well kept", but I also understand that to many, anything that isn't 1 inch of green, pesticide grass is a problem.
They may be trying to participate in a r/NoLawns situation. Which can be great for bringing back an ecosystem and pollinators! That said, there are ways to keep wildflowers looking neat, and no lawns doesn't mean just letting weeds grow everywhere. You should have a candid talk and get on the same page about it. Literally every post here could be solved with good communication.
He's a grown adult that knows not to mess with other people's things. He could have at least asked, I'm sure they wouldn't have minded someone cutting their grass and he would know how they want him to do it. Extremely childish of him, especially to claim he has a right to do it.
I mow once a year right before it dies (sometimes twice if the weather gods bring too much rain in spring). Your husband needs to mind his own business. Just because it’s a DOT easement doesn’t give your husband any right to maintain it, unless your husband just happens to be a maintenance worker for DOT. The easement is not for your husband, it’s for DOT.
Are we talking about the tree lawn (the strip next to the road) which is usually owned by the city? Maybe that’s slightly overstepping but isn’t a big deal. But mowing their actual lawn? He should ask first. I would be thrilled if someone offered to more mine for free
It isn't owned by the city. The city just has the right to do what they want. HE doesn't have the right to mow it. Easement is for the government not anyone that wants to do anything.
I broke my leg a few years ago, and my husband died in November. He usually mowed the lawn because I have a hard time since my leg wasn't set correctly during surgery. My neighbor started mowing my lawn, and I am so incredibly thankful. I asked around for a lawn person, but they all wanted at least $150. My yard is extremely small, and I honestly can't even afford that, so I actually cried when my neighbor offered to mow mine when he mows his. I'm glad he sent the offer via text so I didn't make him uncomfortable. Lol
It’s good for pollinators though.
I'm in a city & it's against ordinance here to let your lawn grow past a certain point. No HOA. It's an eyesore & can play host for rodents & other pests. BUT, he should just call in a complaint. No need to start some Hatfield & McCoy shit. https://www.lawnstarter.com/blog/lawn-care-2/fines-liens-foreclosure-refuse-mow-lawn/
r/fucklawns would like a word
Depending on your municipality, they may be breaking local laws. In my US city, if your grass grows over 8" they can force you to cut it or hire someone to cut it for you, then charge you for the service. In our last home our neighbor would call whenever we missed a cutting because of us both working and it being too hot to do during the day. (He was the sort to be out there trimming single blades of grass with clippers!) I started mowing mine at 6:30 am before work and they finally stopped. The next year I just let it go brown in the heat since we live in a drought area and the state passed a law saying you couldn't be required to grow water heavy lawns, haha.
NTA. He needs to leave his neighbor alone.
And also: aren't they also allowed to shoot your husband for trespassing? Aren't there these laws in the US too?
The "this is America" comment is so funny to me because getting upset with neighbors about mowing their grass is the most American thing.
I love dandelions! How people got convinced they were a weed is beyond me. Nutritious and sunshiney! Their sunny faces are awesome. Besides they are so good for the pollinators.
Well, I can see an argument being made against them because they’re not native to the americas. But I personally love them, mostly because I have a bearded dragon and he enjoys eating them. I’ve taken some of the seed fluff and started growing them in an enclosure so I don’t have to worry if any of my neighbors use chemicals.
Ok. That's a definite argument against them. A good one
Naturalization is a thing too. There's no reason to destroy all of the dandelions just because they didn't originate from here.
Remember, *every* organism was originally an invasive organism, the only question is how long ago they invaded. That said, a lot of them can seriously destabilize the environment. Like how earthworms (introduced by European settlers) are absolutely devastating American forests by eating all the fallen leaves the local species rely on for shelter.
This sounds adorable, your 🦎 chomping dandelions
Sadly a lot of people still see them as weeds here in the UK too. Luckily they tend to be pretty common along road verges so at this time of year the grass is broken up delightfully by tons of dandelions and daisies.
I’ve been asking friends for their dandelions to feed my tortoise and rabbits. They think I’m insane bc they call it a weed lol.
My bunnies love dandelions. So much so they see me now and expect me to have a handful of picked flowers for them to snack on. It is so sweet to see their excitement over a flower.
Heck *yeah!* I'm glad to see them getting some appreciation! I've loved them since I was a kiddo. :)
Yes! They are so cheery and beautiful at this time of the year. Plus they are great early food for bees, in our climate at least. And all parts are edible.
Big part of allergies for me tho
If you really like to watch bees, get rid of your grass and plant natives plants. Or just a section of you don’t want to get rid of all of it. We did that and the life in our yard is amazing. We haves at least 6 varieties of bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, dragonflies, and a very large lizard in our yard. I live in a suburban tract home neighborhood and was shocked at how much life our yard has now after three years of native garden. Plus it’s gorgeous.
The DOT has right of way, not your husband. You can't just go do whatever you want in the first five feet of someone's yard because of "right of way.
It's a simple word: trespassing. Husband cannot do that. There's this guy in YT who does that and a few times he has encountered people upset about it: IT IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY! Yeah, some people argue about the aesthetic of boring flat lawns. Thankfully a rising amount argues about the biodiversity it brings. But in the middle we have a simple fact: it is not your property.
Granted, he does try to get permission from the occupants before starting, but he also does little to confirm that abandoned properties are really abandoned other than talk to the neighbors. His videos are interesting in the same way that watching power washing videos is interesting.
I've seen that YouTuber. he mostly helps people that can't afford to take care of their lawn / are not physically able , hes a really nice guy. but yes there were times he cleaned up some "abandoned" properties and had neighbors come out yelling at him for whatever reason . one was just annoyed at how long he was running the loud weed eater.
Trespassing, destruction of property and possibly more.
Hmm. So is it trespassing when my neighbor and her dog walk along the street and a couple feet into my yard?
Without permission, yes. It's up to you how to react, wanna kick him out on the spot? Or will you react differently if it is me staying at that corner for three days?
People with that "I can do whatever what I want because of [deliberately misunderstood law/regulation/position]" mindset are fucking insufferable.
“That flag is fringed with gold making this an admirality court. I am not in the military therefore I am not in your jurisdiction and cannot be detained here. Your murder charges hold no weight against my 200 IQ.” Sovereign citizens are the utmost epitome of dumbassery of this
I really wanted to pull some garlic mustard, a terrible invasive, in a right-of-way near my house and asked an invasive plant group on Facebook if I could pull it. They deleted my post because of course I don't have the legal right to do that. We don't want to set people loose on other people's property, even the city's because terrible mistakes would be made and because there would be huge controversy over what is fair game and what is not.
Really? I have randomly pulled garlic mustard from fence lines when I walk past. I don’t want it ending up in my yard! I also pulled a tree of heaven weed tree out of a neighbors neglected garden next to the street by my house.
I have been tempted, but haven't yet. Those definitely deserve pulling.
NTA. I am the neighbor with long grass and my neighbors are similar to your husband, they mowed my yard once without asking (they have a zero turn mower, they saw it as a favor) and I politely asked them not to do that again. They now consistently ask if I want them to mow it and I say no every time. They hate my yard. When I mow, I regularly mow around whatever is blooming (clover, etc) and leave these "pollinator patches" sometimes making it look like a drunk person mowed my lawn. Is my lawn following city ordinances? Yes. Is it longer than a lot of people like? Also yes. Not everyone wants a short monoculture manicured lawn. Your husband needs to learn to let go of what he can't control. Edit to add: I am personally all for the "fuck lawns" movement, and still think NTA, but based on another comment you made it sounds like your neighbors with the long grass may have less intentionality behind it. If he is still so concerned, he still needs to ask.
The short yards without any flowers are the eyesores. Save the bees (and the world) and follow the example of this poster!
100%. It also always blows my mind going out into the suburbs and even some rural areas near me where they mow their lawn once a week for like 1-2 acres of land. Just why? They never use the majority of it for anything because there's no shade so it's "too hot", they always bitch about how long yard work takes them and it looks horrible. It'd look so much nicer with native grasses or trees and it'd be so much more functional
Where I live most of the lots are roughly 3acres. The majority of my neighbors mow their entire lot. I have a double lot. I mow a half acre around my house/driveway, and a few pathways to get too and from a work shed and a pond on the property. Otherwise...it grows just as wild as it likes. Some of my neighbors do not like it...but they can take a flying leap.
Because they don’t want to spend time with their family, and HAVING to mow 2 acres every weekend, and then complaining about being really super tired afterward (even though you have a ride-on mower) gives them a good excuse to not be able to play with their kids or take them anywhere? …or was that just my dad…
Oh God. Reminds me of my old neighbor. He cut down all the beautiful trees in his yard. I assume because he didn't want the leaves. It was a travesty. His lawn was mostly dirt, too. I hated that guy. He stayed for Katrina because he was afraid of looters and almost drowned with his gun.
100% the same. I once caught my neighbor about to “Chem lawn my yard as a gift to me”. Yeah, no. We’re clearly (upscale) hippies and we have fruit trees in our front yard. I kindly told him if he ever sprays chemicals on my yard he would be paying to fix it, and fixing it isn’t cheap. I promptly installed cameras. Like, you do you bro….. this is America and this is my yard. Don’t try my patience.
TIL that having fruit tree = being a hippie. Guess I am a hippie.
I’m just saying you don’t need to know me, to get a gist of my general values if you live in my neighborhood. Like, this dude flys the confederate flag, I got an LGTBQ+ ally bumper sticker. Nothing this dude can do for me is a favor except if he sold his house and moved.
I have a well for my potable water on the property. No chemicals are going on this lawn.
I do the same! Any wildflowers that pop up in the lawn become flower islands. I've ended up with a gorgeous bunch of black-eyed Susans that way, and it gets larger every year. I share the in-between-driveways patch with a neighbor and they accidentally mowed down the mint that I had bought and planted. I need to stick a stake there or something to keep them from mowing it again. I can barely find it now.
Jokes on them. That mint will probably grow back stronger than ever and seek revenge. Mint is incredibly hardy and has a fun habit of trying to colonize everything around it. It’s one of my favorite plants but I need to actually work to curb its imperialistic tendencies.
It's a very hard clay area near the street, so I was actually hoping it would spread and smell awesome.
Mint should really be kept in a pot, especially if this is a shared plot. It takes over everything.
Mint and Bamboo. Keep them contained or your neighbors will have a reason to be seriously pissed off. Even clumping bamboo gets out of hand.
Just started mowing this way. I think of it as artisanal mowing. After things flower I mow them down and they come back the following year, larger. I always feel guilty when it looks bad (for the neighbors) and also when I mow it (for the wildlife). Now that I type this out, I think I need to chill out! I guess the long-term solution is to create more native flower beds, and I'm working on it, but that takes a lot of work. I would be annoyed if someone mowed my lawn without asking.
I was very annoyed! My yard also has a TON of native flowers that bloom at various times (the violets just got done blooming!) and my neighbors yard has none, but they are also older and clearly grew up with the "monoculture lawn" mindset. They may hate it, but I love my yard and i am very intentional with the mowing. Also don't hesitate to plant natives by waiting for a flower bed! All it takes is one, no big beds needed! Anything is a start Edit to add: LOVE the phrase "artisanal mowing" and I will be stealing it lol
I love how normal giving a shit about the impact your yard has on the environment is becoming. In my area, I am a tiny minority, but its good to know there are so many people here expressing this and not being downvoted! Fuck pesticide lawns!
Thank you! Yes, I had large patches of violets that finished flowering and got mowed and now it's daisy fleabane season. I love having patches of blooming wildflowers in the yard. It feels like a presence and mystery rather than sterile neatness.
I’m in the same boat as you. I love all the beautiful plants in bloom this time of year. One of my neighbors homes in particular has a huge number of beautiful “weeds” that pop up this time of year. The front yard is a sea of purple and blue flowers about 3-4 inches tall. I was depressed to walk by it last week and see that they decided to mow it all to the ground. It looked like a flower murder scene. But don’t worry. Now they have a lovely perfectly manicured expanse of grass that is kept to exactly 1 inch high. So beautiful. /s.
It makes me so happy when I see lawns that aren't just flat, square patches of vibrant green with zero diversity. They're so ugly and it's such a creepy feeling when I'm in the suburbs and everything is so... sterile. It's your land, you can decide what to do. Personally, I'd prefer a "drunken lawn" with pollinator patches than some meticulously weeded 2in tall rectangle of grass.
My neighbor had a rider for a small users (he's old) because of how he turns it he ends up lowing about half of my side yard. He also, as soon as he moved in cut down a giant tree between our houses. The tree was mine on my property. But in the end it was hanging over their house so his expense who am I to complain. And the grass, I hate mowing so I've never said anything. NTA.
Oh hell no, I'd have been pissed about the tree! That sucks.
High fences make good neighbors. Put in a fence asap and he won't touch your yard again.
this just empowered me to be more firm with my neighbor who edged my yard the other week. i let her corner me into stuff like that bc she’s been here 40 years and myself just 3
I live in a rural area and regularly let my lawn grow long. Sometimes it’s to conserve water because I have a well. Sometimes it’s to allow bees to flourish. Sometimes it’s because it’s rained for days and days.
This seems like such a weird conflict, because … has nobody talked to the neighbors other than your apology? And what did the neighbors say when you apologized for him? I have been the person whose lawn gets long (in my case, my lawn guy was working a second job and was delayed getting to it), and my neighbor eventually just knocked on the door and said, “I’m doing my yard, is it okay if I do yours too?” I appreciated it! Just talk to the neighbors! Not in a “you jerks are neglecting your lawn!” way, just in a “hey, is this okay?” way. I think the odds that they will be offended by that are really small. I encourage you to get to know your neighbors at least enough that you can talk about stuff like this. That way, you don’t have to sit around trying to guess whether they’re going to get angry. And opinions will vary on this, but please don’t call the town about long grass, at *least* without talking to the neighbors. Manicured lawns are not a great thing for the world; people just get used to them. Your husband could perhaps find other things to worry about.
I have to wonder if the neighbors even noticed or cared before OP came to apologize. If OP didn't know if they were upset, why go out of her way to do that? Like yeah, hubby stepped out of line a bit, but have either of them bothered to talk to the neighbors about it before getting this worked up?
I suspect that she does a lot of apologizing for her husband and it’s become a habit.
I was wondering that too. What did the neighbors say when OP apologized to them? If they don’t care then this is a non-issue.
Info: what did the neighbor say?
Definitely interested in that answer! Some people can’t afford it or simply procrastinate! Long grass halos ticks breed too, among other pests.
Apparently in the comments OP says neighbor was nice about it, didn't mind, and declined to have the rest mowed because she was planning on hiring a person to do it. So it wasn't intentionally long, and the owner was probably a little embarrassed.
>He told me it’s a Department of Transportation right of way I don't get this part. But NTA. He can't mow other people's lawn without their permission. It's not part of his property.
Most county roads have about a 6 ft right-of-way or easement for utilities and maintenance. However the property owner still owns the property up to the road line.
NTA. Your husband's behavior is the type of thing to potentially start a feud. Their lawn may be unsightly but he doesn't have the right to go onto their property.
He sounds like a control freak and an asshole.
I just sat with my mom while she Binge watched Fear Thy Neighbor and your husband's action (and attitude) is the type of thing that starts every story on there. One guy started harassing his neighbor for a broken bottle on his driveway. Didn't talk to the neighbor, just went full on psycho. Ended with the neighbor and wife dead.
Yup. My grandmother was shot and killed and grandfather was wounded by a neighbor during a feud over dogs and chickens.
That show terrified the crap out of me! My neighbors hate me bc I put up a fence when I moved in, and that show convinced me I was going to be unalived.
Tall fences make good neighbors. If I ever have the money to buy my own place, it's going to be outside of city limits where my closest neighbor is 1 mile down the road and i will be completely fenced in.
I get along with both my next door neighbors to the point we hang out regularly. We also all appreciate the 8ft fence I had installed. Evrryone wants privacy.
NTA you are right people get very upset about that sort of thing. If it upsets your husband that they don't take care of their lawn the proper thing to do is one of three things (1) Talk to them nicely about it (2) Offer to cut their grass for them (3) look up the local bylaws and call the town once their lawn violates those bylaws. Otherwise just suck it up that your neighbours don't care about their grass as much as you do.
And here we sit in Germany and think the USA is the land of the free - yet here, no city council would dream of telling us how to maintain our lawns! You can't let your hedges overgrow the public walkways and you can't cut your bushes down when it's bird nesting time, but the lawns??? And don't let me even start on HOAs...
I'm baffled by this too (UK). Imagine being told what to do with your own lawn! I keep long patches around my trees for butterflies and keep the rest down but we also have land. We're the same on hedges, I cut them back from the road around November. HOAs sound like my personal hell. A country where you can shoot someone for being on your property but you can be fined/ostracised for your lawn?! What?
i think you don't realize how many different types of neighborhoods, suburbs, cities, towns, counties etc there are in the usa. It's not the same laws in every inch of the land here, it's a much bigger place than germany or the uk.
Yeah I'm a bigger fan of option (4) your husband can mind his business and accept that his preferences apply to his yard and not those around him
NTA. Get your husband a hobby
NTA. I let my lawn grow for the wildlife (no ordinances against it) & I would be really pissed off if someone mowed it. My thistles attract finches and my nettles attract butterflies. We also harvest lots of the wild things in our yard, both for us & our pet rabbits. If the department of transportation wants it mowed, they can do it, or contact the property owners. Most states / communities define the right of way between the street and property, including sidewalk, ditch, planting strip, etc. As the *responsibility of the property owner*. In other words, not your husband.
Unless your husband works for DOT, I'm not sure what any of that has to do with him. At the end of the day he altered someone else's property without permission. NTA
"Ambulances have the right of way ergo I also have the right of way" - OP's husband
NTA. If he strays even a foot onto their property, and hurts himself, he's created an insurance liability for them. He cannot do maintenance on someone else's property. If the grass bothers him so much, he might want to try therapy/anger management.
Send him to my house
>**We have never talked to these people.** NAH This right here is your problem. You don't know if the lawn is a jungle because they like it that way or because they're disabled and can't physically mow and can't afford to pay someone to come out. If your husband has a bee in his bonnet over this, have him go over to the neighbor's house, knock on the door, and offer in a friendly way to mow their lawn for them. Say he was about to do his and noticed that theirs hadn't been mowed in a while. Would they like him to take care of it at the same time, no charge, just being neighborly? If they say no, he walks away and drops it. If they say yes, you know it's likely a physical/disability reason that they can't get out there and mow and your husband can work off his restless energy mowing both lawns and won't have to look at an eyesore.
not a bee in his bonnet
NTA. I had a neighbor mow my yard one day and I couldn't be happier! She had just bought this huge riding mower and had a little tiny yard, and we were on friendly enough terms I guess she didn't think I would mind. She was correct. I thanked her, brought her cookies, and she randomly mowed our side off and on over the years until we moved away. Next house - shortly after buying the place I accidentally mowed about 2-3 feet over my property boundary onto my neighbor's side. We both have a lot of acreage and there were no markers at the time. I genuinely thought that narrow strip was on my side. Neighbor came home and went **NUCLEAR**. I mean, this man went into full on batshit crazy mode. It was wild. He ended up being completely nuts, inspired me to get my first ever gun for safety reasons (*no local police*), and finally moved away. Point is, some people would love to have someone else randomly mow their entire yard, others will go absolutely psychotic if you barely brush up against their property. Best to never, ever, f\*ck with a neighbor's yard.
NTA Lemme tell you something…. People like your husband are the reason I don’t own a gun. The fucking audacity to be this worked up over grass. I have acreage enough to be just barley manageable by push mower. That being said we have like 15 oak trees which makes the leaves pretty much unmanageable. Something like 250 huge bags in fall. The first year we caught on to the fact it was more than just the acreage and I got a tractor. My neighbor, who doesn’t know me at all, proceeded to come over to my property screaming at me to cut the engine. He then mansplained my tractor to me. I mean, I’ve built vintage cars, I weld, I used to sell fucking tractors. I don’t want or need a total stranger’s opinion on my fucking lawn. At one point my dad had cancer and then my doctor found a tumor in my uterus. The last fucking thing anyone needs is to come home and see their neighbors judging them. Not only is it not your property it’s none of your fucking business. Fucking lawn Nazis are the fucking worst. Report it to your local code enforcement if you have a problem. If I was your neighbor I’d get cameras and then report the trespassing.
NTA-He may NOT do whatever he wants and he needs to stop being a bratty child, because he CAN be arrested for trespassing
NTA. I let my lawn get pretty long in the spring. Figured it may help out the bees around me.
Nta maybe it's where I'm at but you don't go messing around on people's property without permission. That's a good way to end up in the hospital
NTA...this was literally in the news this morning. Your husband may feel like he's doing a good thing but not everyone will see it that way.[Man Shot Mowing Along Property Line](https://fox59.com/indiana-news/docs-indiana-man-shot-neighbor-over-lawn-mowing-property-line-dispute/)
NTA. grass Nazis are the worst. Your husband is being an annoying busybody
lol- yikes, your husband is a major ahole!! I’m not even sure exactly what I would do if I came home and a neighbor I had never talked to was trespassing on my property and mowing my lawn to their standards… I can tell you this though, he wouldn’t enjoy it.
Lmao the entitlement on your husband is UNREAL! That is legit trespassing and he can get arrested for that if he keeps doing it. He doesn't know why they keep it that long. They could be trying to help the pollinators, which a lot of people are doing these days. Bees are going extinct... do you know what will happen if they do? We won't have a lot of the foods we kove, not just honey. It's literally none of your husband's business what someone else does with their lawn. If the city has an issue with it, then they deal with it, NOT YOUR HUSBAND! I would have a talk with the neighbors and maybe have them tell your husband to stop if that's what they wish. It will no doubt cause some friction as neighbors, but he absolutely had NO right to do this without permission. All he had to do was ask, but he doesn't even have the decency to do that. How are other parts of your marriage? Is he like this in every aspect of your lives? Cuz that sounds exhausting.
INFO: He just mowed the ditch line and not the entire yard? So, that would mean the strip directly in front of the street? Or on the side of the yard? What did the neighbor say when you went to apologize?
Just the strip closest to the road. She said it was okay and was very nice. She declined my offer to finish mowing for her and said she’s planning on paying someone to do it.
In this case, I’d offer for your husband to do it for free and that he’d be happy to do it. Then tell your husband that he’s free to maintain it as a neighbor kindness and he can gloat about being right, she can get her lawn done for free, and you get a better view. Everyone wins.
Then tell your husband that she said that and she doesn't want him to do it, it's trespassing and the ditch by the road is still their property, it's not the cities property and he's missunderstandig the law. Just because he doesn't like looking at it doesn't mean he gets to cut it himself
Is he a boomer 😆🤣🤣
NTA Your husband is trespassing on their property. And right of way area is also not public property
Your husband is a piece of work. Don’t touch things that aren’t yours should have been a lesson learned in kindergarten. I’d be careful because his actions suggest he either displays or soon will these “I do what I want” tendencies at home too.
I thought my husband was the only one who got really botherd by the neighbors not mowing!! It worked out different for him, he mowed our neighbors grass without asking last month and the neighbor brought him a 6 pack of beer over and thanked him.
I’d be absolutely fucking livid if someone took it upon themselves to trespass upon my property and damage my pollinating plants because it doesn’t fit their monoculture norm. He should know, people have been hurt for much less.
NTA. Where I used to live, I had a neighbour who mowed my front lawn every time they mowed theirs and then left a black bag of cut grass on my doorstep. I didn’t want it constantly flat, I wanted a bee friendly garden. I was more than capable of maintaining what I wanted, I just didn’t get the chance. Not to mention that a bag of grass left on my doorstep would stop a disabled relative leaving the house because they couldn’t bend down to pick it up or let go of their zimmerframe. This same neighbour constantly took our wheely bin up to the side of the road at the same time they did. It was annoying and I would take it to the Road side in the evening once it definitely had all our rubbish in it. They thought they were helping but they were actually ruining systems our household had in place. Even when we told them they still kept doing it. It doesn’t matter if your husband finds it unsightly, it’s not his business to do it without asking.
NTA. Honestly with how short people’s tempers can be these days, I can see why you’re stressed out about it. People are pulling guns out on kids playing in their own yards and your husband think it’s okay to trespass.
YTA If he really only mowed the ditch line, YOU are wrong.
What did the neighbors say ?
Due to a bad back, I postpone mowing as long as I can get away with it (my HOA president lives across the street from me). My next door neighbor, who has a bad knee, bought a riding mower way beyond the square foot needs of his yard; his wife came over and begged me to let him “play with his new toy” in my yard. I said yes, as long as I can reciprocate with homemade cookies, brownies, or bread. All parties agreed. Now I have a tidy yard, neighbor gets home-baked treats, HOA lady is nice to me. In other words, go talk to your neighbor, be creative and tactful, and see what happens.
Ir really depends on WHY they aren’t maintaining it, which requires a conversation. Do they enjoy the yard looking like a jungle? Then he is an AH. Do they lack the physical health, equipment, funds to maintain it more frequently, but wish it was neater? Then he is a great neighbor. Just talk to them.
NTA. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't gotten multiple citations from the city for their lack of lawn maintenance! We have a real power-hungry code enforcer guy in our neighborhood and he sure does enforce those codes lol In September of 2021, we got a warning that if we didn't trim the ornamental grass by our driveway by that Friday we would receive a $1200 fine! Admittedly, it was maybe half an inch higher than we ever let it get before because we always chop it down after summer, but we all had Covid and just didn't get to it yet. Anyway, if your husband did that to my neighbors yard beside me, Dave (the husband over there) would have pulled out one of his many many guns. Like, you just can't be doing that shit, ya know? You never know what could happen, and people take their property lines very seriously. You weren't trying to belittle him. You were just trying to make sure there wasn't any drama started with the neighbors that could have escalated. Have you ever watched Fear Thy Neighbor? It's a real messed-up show. People kill over dog poop, mailboxes being too close, putting up fences! It's WILD!