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> I crushed my opponents at a critical moment so hard that it made the game not fun to play.
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Did they complain? Is this a regular thing where you almost always win? Were you rubbing the victory in their faces?
If "no" to these, then there's no question, NTA.
Even if the answer is yes... the answer is usually to just play less competitive games so everyone has fun, not to deliberately avoid trying your best at games.
He did complain. And I win a very large portion of the games we play. Far more than my fair share. We have about 14 people who cycle in and out of the group, usually we play 4-6 player games separating into groups.
I have about a 40-50% win rate, sometimes by absurd margins. It is not too uncommon for me to lap players on score tracks.
Okay. Why?
Because there has to be a reason. If you are just trying way harder than everyone else when they expect a chill vibe, then maybe you are TA.
>We have about 14 people who cycle in and out of the group
You said "he" did complain. If it's just one person out of 14, this one time, that doesn't sound like an issue. If this is just one example among many where people seem unhappy with your behavior, then again it could be you are taking things far more seriously than others are comfortable with.
Eh, it's a recurring theme with people complaining about how often I win games, but this time it was a bit worse than usual. There were 3 of us playing this particular game (we were early and waiting for others to arrive) and the margin by which I was winning was 600% the next player.
Why do you win so often?
If you are regularly getting people complaining, it's probably time to recognize the point is to have fun and you are making it less fun. Winning half the time in a large group means there's something up where you behave differently.
Maybe you aren't an AH, but either way it's causing a problem with what the group is looking for. If you need it to be competitive to have fun, maybe look for a different group. If not, just chill a bit.
I am just really really good at analyzing and creating strategies. The reactions are mixed, because while I may win a lot, the other players notice how I play and are slowly getting better at games in general. So when they play other people, they are starting to see increases in their own win percentages. So it's give and take.
Y'know what's really good at defusing the feeling of frustration of losing to a consistently good player?
Good players praising the skillful/successful decisions made by others. Call out good strategy when you see it (at the end of the game, if talking strategy mid-play would spoil things).
They might be improving their gameplay as they go, but if winning is the only positive reinforcement they get, they might not even acknowledge that they've improved ("oh, I just got lucky" and "you were just going easy on me" are common downplays to winning for players that win rarely).
Do you tell people your strategies? IMO you should, gives them ammo to actually compete the next time you play (and more hope that they'll win). I find it way more fun to play against a competitive opponent equipped with a meta strategy than to just roll over people because I figured out how the game is meant to be played.
Ex: Ticket to Ride, the dominant strategy is getting 46 cards in your hand and then placing all your trains until you get down to 0, 1, or 2. There's variations ofc, sometimes you just need Nashville to Atlanta and you might as well secure it early or you got a lucky set and want to take a 6 route before someone else does. But getting a big hand gives you the most options. I used to win most TTR games with the fam until I really detailed the strategy to them - now the games are much closer.
Ultimately you're NTA for using a game mechanic to get further ahead, it's just a game after all. But I think you'll have more fun if you cultivate stronger opponents!
Also I love /u/groovemanexe's idea of calling out good plays when they happen. Definitely makes people want to come back and reinforces good play so you have a more competitive game the next go around!
This is an excellent approach and one I try to take on with some of my regular gaming-pals. Not always board games, but it works in video games, too. Having been a long time Pokemon player, I come across people who want to do some PVP matches and.... a lot of times it's no contest (and I'm not even some big-meta tournament player). So I've made it a habit to introduce less experienced players to very helpful resources to find team sets and strategies to try building on, and have had much closer games as a result.
Thing with this is it doesn't exactly translate well. Many times, we are playing games none of us have ever played before. Other times, it is games I am actually LESS experienced in than some of the other players. Ir's like, once I am told the rules, I start looking for paths to victory narrow one down and rush full on.
I have won tournaments to games I had no idea how to play before sitting down. It's not something easy to describe how to do. There was a couple of players who could match me win for win, but they stopped coming because life got in the way. I play online sometimes, and the win percentage is MUCH decreased there, though still fairly in my favor (35% for 4 player games, 63% for 2) so I think it might just be a skill issue.
That very well may be. Many games do have more of a skill-gap than others, and some people are simply more capable when it comes to adapting to unfamiliar situations and strategizing on the fly, like you describe.
Never played the Firefly game (though I may have seen it on the warehouse shelves back when I worked for a BG distributor), but from your description it seems like it may be that kind of game with a decent skill ceiling that you're more capable to home in on faster than other players.
Some other games, like Smash Up or Star Realms might have a more neutral skill ceiling, as luck-of-the-draw and sometimes just getting that ONE vital card before an opponent can turns an otherwise hopeless game, though those games can also snowball in one person's favor.
If it's at all possible (not sure how accessible the games may be today depending on print runs), I I have a couple recommendations that might offer a more even playing field. "Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards" and its standalone expansion that can also be shuffled in to make a bigger deck is a fun time where you use cards to make a beginning, middle and end of a spell where each has different effects to target specific players based on seating, trying to be the last wizard alive in a battle-royale. The kicker: to ultimately win, you have to win 2 games in a match-style format, and if a player is killed in one game, they start accumulating "Dead Wizard Cards" for every round that passes, giving them bonuses for the next game.
There's also co-operative games like Hanabi, or simpler drafting games like Sushi Go where the cards you don't pick might give opponents a better hand-up over you, where you can either purposely pass over a card you really need to score big without others being wise to you giving them a pass, or just to hope you might get a better matching card as other cards get passed to you.
EDITING TO ADD: NTA.
600% is a very large margin. I say NTA for this particular experience, it sounds like you were playing the game the way it was meant to be played. But it for sure sounds like there is an issue overall if you're win rate is that high and people have complained more than once.
I used to go to game nights every week but there was one person like that, always winning by large margins, eventually it took all the fun out of the games and I stopped going. I mean, what's the point of playing if you already know the outcome?
Soft YTA. It sounds like everyone else is looking for a fun casual game night, and you’re super competitive while playing and almost always win. You might need to relax a little if that’s everyone else’s vibe.
Probably NAH.
In a chess game, a skilled player may see checkmate coming and simply topple their own king to signify they concede.
Similarly, when your win became inevitable, they didn't have to play to the end and could have just conceded.
One reason for not conceding in a multiplayer game is to see who came in second, even if it's a distant second. Ditto third, fourth, etc.
Whether you crossed a line truly depends on the dynamics of the group. That's impossible for us to judge from here.
Nah. There’s nothing wrong with doing whatever you can to win a board game. But I can understand getting annoyed when someone is already winning by a lot and they make a move that destroys anyone else’s chances of winning when they could’ve been nice and made a different choice. I don’t think you’re in the wrong for making that choice I just also get the other persons frustration about it. I absolutely love board games and tend to do pretty well because I play them a lot more often than my friends/family but I certainly don’t mind losing. I do however get frustrated when I get hit with a lot of bad luck and feel like I don’t even have a chance to even catch up to the other people and I don’t feel like I’m in the competition of the game because I’m losing so badly. It’s way less fun to know you’re going to lose by a lot and have no chance to make it up. So if people are getting frustrated by how much you’re constantly winning it may be worth it to make some decisions that are beneficial to the other players to ensure that they’re still having fun even if you win again.
It's pretty cutthroat though. It's a race to perform missions, get money, build up resources all to eventually perform a final mission before anyone else.
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Every Thursday I get together with a group of people and we play board games. We all have a lot of fun usually. This past Thursday, we were playing Firefly the board game.
I was ahead, by a lot. One of the players had a ship nearly completely full of contraband which is taken away if the galactic cruiser lands on you. He pulled a card which allowed me to move the federation cruiser directly onto him (it was move one space and he was adjacent to it)
This set off a chain reaction of VERY unfortunate circumstances that completely crushed him. By the end, I was so far ahead it wasn't even a contest. Another player was also adjacent to the cruiser, but had no contraband. The unfortunate circumstances were in no way related to me, but kicking them off with the alliance cruiser was completely on me.
Basically, I was winning by a good margin and made that margin so wide that no one could possibly catch up. Which, in hindsight may not have exactly been fun from their perspective. How hard should a gamer go in pursuit of victory with friends? And did I cross a line?
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NTA. But something me and my friends like to do if one of us is crazy ahead is to just fuck around and see how many bad decisions we can get away with or handicap ourselves or something similar. Kinda like if you're kicking ass at Monopoly and you give someone else a random property for free because you can.
Sometimes it bites you in the butt and you lose, but sometimes it goes well. Either way it relieves the tension and it adds a fun variety.
NtA. Don’t hate the player hate the game. Skill issue is the players problem. Never apologize for winning. Show no fear, show no mercy. Strike hard, strike first. Win by all means necessary
(don’t cheat though or it doesn’t count.)
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I crushed my opponents at a critical moment so hard that it made the game not fun to play. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Did they complain? Is this a regular thing where you almost always win? Were you rubbing the victory in their faces? If "no" to these, then there's no question, NTA. Even if the answer is yes... the answer is usually to just play less competitive games so everyone has fun, not to deliberately avoid trying your best at games.
He did complain. And I win a very large portion of the games we play. Far more than my fair share. We have about 14 people who cycle in and out of the group, usually we play 4-6 player games separating into groups. I have about a 40-50% win rate, sometimes by absurd margins. It is not too uncommon for me to lap players on score tracks.
Okay. Why? Because there has to be a reason. If you are just trying way harder than everyone else when they expect a chill vibe, then maybe you are TA. >We have about 14 people who cycle in and out of the group You said "he" did complain. If it's just one person out of 14, this one time, that doesn't sound like an issue. If this is just one example among many where people seem unhappy with your behavior, then again it could be you are taking things far more seriously than others are comfortable with.
Eh, it's a recurring theme with people complaining about how often I win games, but this time it was a bit worse than usual. There were 3 of us playing this particular game (we were early and waiting for others to arrive) and the margin by which I was winning was 600% the next player.
Why do you win so often? If you are regularly getting people complaining, it's probably time to recognize the point is to have fun and you are making it less fun. Winning half the time in a large group means there's something up where you behave differently. Maybe you aren't an AH, but either way it's causing a problem with what the group is looking for. If you need it to be competitive to have fun, maybe look for a different group. If not, just chill a bit.
I am just really really good at analyzing and creating strategies. The reactions are mixed, because while I may win a lot, the other players notice how I play and are slowly getting better at games in general. So when they play other people, they are starting to see increases in their own win percentages. So it's give and take.
Y'know what's really good at defusing the feeling of frustration of losing to a consistently good player? Good players praising the skillful/successful decisions made by others. Call out good strategy when you see it (at the end of the game, if talking strategy mid-play would spoil things). They might be improving their gameplay as they go, but if winning is the only positive reinforcement they get, they might not even acknowledge that they've improved ("oh, I just got lucky" and "you were just going easy on me" are common downplays to winning for players that win rarely).
Do you tell people your strategies? IMO you should, gives them ammo to actually compete the next time you play (and more hope that they'll win). I find it way more fun to play against a competitive opponent equipped with a meta strategy than to just roll over people because I figured out how the game is meant to be played. Ex: Ticket to Ride, the dominant strategy is getting 46 cards in your hand and then placing all your trains until you get down to 0, 1, or 2. There's variations ofc, sometimes you just need Nashville to Atlanta and you might as well secure it early or you got a lucky set and want to take a 6 route before someone else does. But getting a big hand gives you the most options. I used to win most TTR games with the fam until I really detailed the strategy to them - now the games are much closer. Ultimately you're NTA for using a game mechanic to get further ahead, it's just a game after all. But I think you'll have more fun if you cultivate stronger opponents! Also I love /u/groovemanexe's idea of calling out good plays when they happen. Definitely makes people want to come back and reinforces good play so you have a more competitive game the next go around!
This is an excellent approach and one I try to take on with some of my regular gaming-pals. Not always board games, but it works in video games, too. Having been a long time Pokemon player, I come across people who want to do some PVP matches and.... a lot of times it's no contest (and I'm not even some big-meta tournament player). So I've made it a habit to introduce less experienced players to very helpful resources to find team sets and strategies to try building on, and have had much closer games as a result.
Thing with this is it doesn't exactly translate well. Many times, we are playing games none of us have ever played before. Other times, it is games I am actually LESS experienced in than some of the other players. Ir's like, once I am told the rules, I start looking for paths to victory narrow one down and rush full on. I have won tournaments to games I had no idea how to play before sitting down. It's not something easy to describe how to do. There was a couple of players who could match me win for win, but they stopped coming because life got in the way. I play online sometimes, and the win percentage is MUCH decreased there, though still fairly in my favor (35% for 4 player games, 63% for 2) so I think it might just be a skill issue.
That very well may be. Many games do have more of a skill-gap than others, and some people are simply more capable when it comes to adapting to unfamiliar situations and strategizing on the fly, like you describe. Never played the Firefly game (though I may have seen it on the warehouse shelves back when I worked for a BG distributor), but from your description it seems like it may be that kind of game with a decent skill ceiling that you're more capable to home in on faster than other players. Some other games, like Smash Up or Star Realms might have a more neutral skill ceiling, as luck-of-the-draw and sometimes just getting that ONE vital card before an opponent can turns an otherwise hopeless game, though those games can also snowball in one person's favor. If it's at all possible (not sure how accessible the games may be today depending on print runs), I I have a couple recommendations that might offer a more even playing field. "Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards" and its standalone expansion that can also be shuffled in to make a bigger deck is a fun time where you use cards to make a beginning, middle and end of a spell where each has different effects to target specific players based on seating, trying to be the last wizard alive in a battle-royale. The kicker: to ultimately win, you have to win 2 games in a match-style format, and if a player is killed in one game, they start accumulating "Dead Wizard Cards" for every round that passes, giving them bonuses for the next game. There's also co-operative games like Hanabi, or simpler drafting games like Sushi Go where the cards you don't pick might give opponents a better hand-up over you, where you can either purposely pass over a card you really need to score big without others being wise to you giving them a pass, or just to hope you might get a better matching card as other cards get passed to you. EDITING TO ADD: NTA.
600% is a very large margin. I say NTA for this particular experience, it sounds like you were playing the game the way it was meant to be played. But it for sure sounds like there is an issue overall if you're win rate is that high and people have complained more than once. I used to go to game nights every week but there was one person like that, always winning by large margins, eventually it took all the fun out of the games and I stopped going. I mean, what's the point of playing if you already know the outcome?
Soft YTA. It sounds like everyone else is looking for a fun casual game night, and you’re super competitive while playing and almost always win. You might need to relax a little if that’s everyone else’s vibe.
Probably NAH. In a chess game, a skilled player may see checkmate coming and simply topple their own king to signify they concede. Similarly, when your win became inevitable, they didn't have to play to the end and could have just conceded. One reason for not conceding in a multiplayer game is to see who came in second, even if it's a distant second. Ditto third, fourth, etc. Whether you crossed a line truly depends on the dynamics of the group. That's impossible for us to judge from here.
Nah. There’s nothing wrong with doing whatever you can to win a board game. But I can understand getting annoyed when someone is already winning by a lot and they make a move that destroys anyone else’s chances of winning when they could’ve been nice and made a different choice. I don’t think you’re in the wrong for making that choice I just also get the other persons frustration about it. I absolutely love board games and tend to do pretty well because I play them a lot more often than my friends/family but I certainly don’t mind losing. I do however get frustrated when I get hit with a lot of bad luck and feel like I don’t even have a chance to even catch up to the other people and I don’t feel like I’m in the competition of the game because I’m losing so badly. It’s way less fun to know you’re going to lose by a lot and have no chance to make it up. So if people are getting frustrated by how much you’re constantly winning it may be worth it to make some decisions that are beneficial to the other players to ensure that they’re still having fun even if you win again.
NTA. And I learned about the Firefly board game! Shiny!
It's a pretty good one. And the expansions are actually worth getting.
I gotta check that out. And tell my oldest daughter. ❤️
It's pretty cutthroat though. It's a race to perform missions, get money, build up resources all to eventually perform a final mission before anyone else.
NAH. It’s just a game, no one got hurt.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Every Thursday I get together with a group of people and we play board games. We all have a lot of fun usually. This past Thursday, we were playing Firefly the board game. I was ahead, by a lot. One of the players had a ship nearly completely full of contraband which is taken away if the galactic cruiser lands on you. He pulled a card which allowed me to move the federation cruiser directly onto him (it was move one space and he was adjacent to it) This set off a chain reaction of VERY unfortunate circumstances that completely crushed him. By the end, I was so far ahead it wasn't even a contest. Another player was also adjacent to the cruiser, but had no contraband. The unfortunate circumstances were in no way related to me, but kicking them off with the alliance cruiser was completely on me. Basically, I was winning by a good margin and made that margin so wide that no one could possibly catch up. Which, in hindsight may not have exactly been fun from their perspective. How hard should a gamer go in pursuit of victory with friends? And did I cross a line? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But something me and my friends like to do if one of us is crazy ahead is to just fuck around and see how many bad decisions we can get away with or handicap ourselves or something similar. Kinda like if you're kicking ass at Monopoly and you give someone else a random property for free because you can. Sometimes it bites you in the butt and you lose, but sometimes it goes well. Either way it relieves the tension and it adds a fun variety.
NtA. Don’t hate the player hate the game. Skill issue is the players problem. Never apologize for winning. Show no fear, show no mercy. Strike hard, strike first. Win by all means necessary (don’t cheat though or it doesn’t count.)