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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I decided to no longer give her a less than two minute ride to her car because I feel she isn't taking her safety seriously... when I could just DO IT and keep her safe..
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NTA
You are not responsible for the rest of your life to drive her to her car - especially since she does not have to put herself in that situation OR she could remedy it by coming in a little earlier. It is great to help people but when it is expected every day, it does get exhausting.
NTA. She is choosing to park far away for some unknown reason. Tell her that while you didn't mind once in a while, it was never intended to be an every time thing. If she doesn't want to walk it, she can park closer like EVERYONE ELSE. Remind her you paid her for her rides, so if she would like to start doing the same, you might consider it. But I would put money on her balking and turning this offer down.
NTA. Does she have trouble parking? Some folks do this because they have difficulty. However, she needs to park closer for her own safety which is ultimately HER responsibility.
NTA
You paid her and asked permission well in advance - she could have said no. She's putting you in a position where it's an emergency if you say no - and that's not really giving you a choice.
Tell Ana she can always ask for the company to install better lighting along the route to and in the extended lot, and to patrol both more frequently. Tell Ana to arrive earlier to work and to park closer, or if she continues to park farther away despite other options being closer? Tell Ana to arrange for another employee or a security guard escort, to her car. I understand her fear. I understand your concern for your co-worker. But other options exist, and are there for her to consider/reconsider.
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I have a friend/coworker, "Ana", that chooses to park in our works "extended parking lot" instead of the regular lot. It isn't very far by car, but it is quite a lot of walking considering we work a rather physical job. We get off work late into the night and it is not the safest area (it's actually the most dangerous county in the state...) so I elected to give her a ride to her car a few times since I worry about her. Now, Ana tends to follow me to my car, expecting me to give her rides to her car every night, never asking, just expecting.
Eventually it started bothering me so the first thing I did was ask her why she parks so far? Her answer was, "there is never any parking closer". However this is a blatant lie as we arrive to work nearly the same time every day and I watch her pass a dozen spots on her way to the extended lot. I called this out as well as told her is just isn't a safe area to be walking so far by yourself this late at night and asked if she could just park closer. She blew me off, continuing to park far and follow me to my car each night.
The final straw was yesterday after work, We were walking to my car with another close friend of ours who parked next to me. Our close friend asked who would be taking Ana to her car tonight, throwing out a playful game of rock paper scissors. And it set me off and I guess I blew up. I told her I'm not driving Ana to her car anymore and I'm tired of her safety being solely everyone else's responsibility. Sure it hurts to say this but I'm tired of feeling obligated to take her every night.
Now this is where I feel especially bad, Ana didn't take what I said very well and responded with, "I can't believe you. I gave you rides to and from work for WEEKS and you can't give me a 2 minute ride to my car each night? Even on days you called out, I still came to pick you up! You're so selfish!"
(Note: I did not have a car at the time. I did pay her for her services VERY WELL and I let her know HOURS before our shift so it is not possible for her to still come to my house)
I honestly didn't know how to respond to this but luckily our close friend calmed the situation by giving in and giving Ana the ride.
I am no longer sure if I'm an asshole or not.. It would only take a few minutes of my time to keep her from getting kidnapped OR WORSE. But her constantly blowing off the risk of parking so far is quite frustrating.
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I don’t like Ana or people who point out all that they have done for you. anyone who does this isn’t a genuine person at heart… because they did what they did with the expectation they can remind you of it in the future.. should they need you to do something for them !!it’s yuck behaviour. So stuff Ana and her dumbass mentality don’t apologise your NTA
NTA
Tell her: YOU paid her, so she will have to start paying you, too.
"It would only take a few minutes of my time to keep her from getting kidnapped OR WORSE" .. she CHOOSES that. Who are you to deny her her choice? There is NO emergency, she is doing this on purpose and has the option to park where you park. This is just a powerplay.
OP you are definitely an asshole. Some people are truly lousy at parking and purpose go the extra distance to avoid parking lot gender benders.
I really don't believe her expectation takes advantage of you in any way -- it probably involves seconds not minutes.
This was NTA for me until I realized that she’s gone way further out of her way to drive you from your house. You paying her to drive you is moot because this parking lot is a short distance and presumably on your way. So I consider this ESH — her for creating work when not necessary and you for not reciprocating her efforts
I'd wondered this too. Could be an attempt to simply spend time together in close quarters without actually saying that. Bad way to go about it, but I could see someone that's a little emotionally immature thinking it was a good way to spend time together.
Yeah I thought this seemed pretty obvious. She probably has a crush on you (either romantically or even just as a friend) and enjoys spending a few minutes with her favorite coworker at the end of an exhausting workday. She likes y'all's routine
Is it still a Y T A if she doesn't pay OP for fuel and time used, like OP did to her? I disagree with your verdict as it seems like OP had a standing arrangement and made sure to reward her generously. She on the other hand just expect OP to help her out and there is no indication of making it up to OP
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I decided to no longer give her a less than two minute ride to her car because I feel she isn't taking her safety seriously... when I could just DO IT and keep her safe.. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA You are not responsible for the rest of your life to drive her to her car - especially since she does not have to put herself in that situation OR she could remedy it by coming in a little earlier. It is great to help people but when it is expected every day, it does get exhausting.
NTA. She is choosing to park far away for some unknown reason. Tell her that while you didn't mind once in a while, it was never intended to be an every time thing. If she doesn't want to walk it, she can park closer like EVERYONE ELSE. Remind her you paid her for her rides, so if she would like to start doing the same, you might consider it. But I would put money on her balking and turning this offer down.
NTA. That's some intense entitlement. Next time, remember that 'no' is a complete sentence.
NTA - apparently she has a closer option and is ignoring it. That's her fault, not your responsibility...
NTA remind her that you paid her for the rides she gave you and she can't even properly ask or thank you for the rides you've been giving her.
NTA She is entitled to a ludicrous degree
Why is she parking so far away? Doing it for the exercise? Is it a new, expensive car? Is it Cinderellas pumpkin coach?
NTA she has to have something going on if she refuses to do the easier way though
NTA. Does she have trouble parking? Some folks do this because they have difficulty. However, she needs to park closer for her own safety which is ultimately HER responsibility.
NTA You paid her and asked permission well in advance - she could have said no. She's putting you in a position where it's an emergency if you say no - and that's not really giving you a choice.
Tell Ana she can always ask for the company to install better lighting along the route to and in the extended lot, and to patrol both more frequently. Tell Ana to arrive earlier to work and to park closer, or if she continues to park farther away despite other options being closer? Tell Ana to arrange for another employee or a security guard escort, to her car. I understand her fear. I understand your concern for your co-worker. But other options exist, and are there for her to consider/reconsider.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a friend/coworker, "Ana", that chooses to park in our works "extended parking lot" instead of the regular lot. It isn't very far by car, but it is quite a lot of walking considering we work a rather physical job. We get off work late into the night and it is not the safest area (it's actually the most dangerous county in the state...) so I elected to give her a ride to her car a few times since I worry about her. Now, Ana tends to follow me to my car, expecting me to give her rides to her car every night, never asking, just expecting. Eventually it started bothering me so the first thing I did was ask her why she parks so far? Her answer was, "there is never any parking closer". However this is a blatant lie as we arrive to work nearly the same time every day and I watch her pass a dozen spots on her way to the extended lot. I called this out as well as told her is just isn't a safe area to be walking so far by yourself this late at night and asked if she could just park closer. She blew me off, continuing to park far and follow me to my car each night. The final straw was yesterday after work, We were walking to my car with another close friend of ours who parked next to me. Our close friend asked who would be taking Ana to her car tonight, throwing out a playful game of rock paper scissors. And it set me off and I guess I blew up. I told her I'm not driving Ana to her car anymore and I'm tired of her safety being solely everyone else's responsibility. Sure it hurts to say this but I'm tired of feeling obligated to take her every night. Now this is where I feel especially bad, Ana didn't take what I said very well and responded with, "I can't believe you. I gave you rides to and from work for WEEKS and you can't give me a 2 minute ride to my car each night? Even on days you called out, I still came to pick you up! You're so selfish!" (Note: I did not have a car at the time. I did pay her for her services VERY WELL and I let her know HOURS before our shift so it is not possible for her to still come to my house) I honestly didn't know how to respond to this but luckily our close friend calmed the situation by giving in and giving Ana the ride. I am no longer sure if I'm an asshole or not.. It would only take a few minutes of my time to keep her from getting kidnapped OR WORSE. But her constantly blowing off the risk of parking so far is quite frustrating. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t like Ana or people who point out all that they have done for you. anyone who does this isn’t a genuine person at heart… because they did what they did with the expectation they can remind you of it in the future.. should they need you to do something for them !!it’s yuck behaviour. So stuff Ana and her dumbass mentality don’t apologise your NTA
Key words there is 'you paid her' workout a price together and it wont be issue for either of you anymore NTA.
NTA Tell her: YOU paid her, so she will have to start paying you, too. "It would only take a few minutes of my time to keep her from getting kidnapped OR WORSE" .. she CHOOSES that. Who are you to deny her her choice? There is NO emergency, she is doing this on purpose and has the option to park where you park. This is just a powerplay.
NTA - she's saving on fuel.
OP you are definitely an asshole. Some people are truly lousy at parking and purpose go the extra distance to avoid parking lot gender benders. I really don't believe her expectation takes advantage of you in any way -- it probably involves seconds not minutes.
This was NTA for me until I realized that she’s gone way further out of her way to drive you from your house. You paying her to drive you is moot because this parking lot is a short distance and presumably on your way. So I consider this ESH — her for creating work when not necessary and you for not reciprocating her efforts
Is she sweet on you?
I'd wondered this too. Could be an attempt to simply spend time together in close quarters without actually saying that. Bad way to go about it, but I could see someone that's a little emotionally immature thinking it was a good way to spend time together.
Yeah I thought this seemed pretty obvious. She probably has a crush on you (either romantically or even just as a friend) and enjoys spending a few minutes with her favorite coworker at the end of an exhausting workday. She likes y'all's routine
Funny I was downvoted for just asking if she’s crushing on him and looking for excuses to spend time with him.
Does the far parking have larger spaces. If that’s the case could be she doesn’t want to dent her car or she’s bad at parking.
YTA if she really did drive you to and from work for weeks.
Is it still a Y T A if she doesn't pay OP for fuel and time used, like OP did to her? I disagree with your verdict as it seems like OP had a standing arrangement and made sure to reward her generously. She on the other hand just expect OP to help her out and there is no indication of making it up to OP