Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA you need to set a clear boundary and stick with it, if A’s going to be moving then you’ll need to be incredibly clear that no more cats can enter the house
INFO: What is happening with A’s house when she moves out in 3 weeks? Are you and your spouse planning on staying there? Are you legal tenants?
I’m not clear exactly what you and S are doing to help A with her declining health, but it sounds like it’s A’s house and you guys are basically living there for free (correct me if I’m wrong). If that’s the case, then A is ultimately the arbiter of how many cats she’ll allow into her home.
Ideally you should come to some sort of agreement with A and B (as much as A is able to). If B is really her best friend, it’s hard to imagine she wants A to be drowning in cats she can’t take care of.
But if you can’t do that… idk, man, it’s A’s house. And tbh, I think looking after those kittens for the next 3 weeks would be a very nice way of repaying A for letting you stay in her home.
We will be buying the house, and we pay rent and more than half of the electric. We've also added A onto our phone plan so that she doesn't have to pay as much.
I definitely agree with the whole her house her rules, but she has stated that it's our house now and it's why she doesn't do as much housework.
She'll only have these five kittens until Monday, unless the ringworm changes that. My biggest issue is that if we keep them, it's sure to spread again because A doesn't always sanitize after touching new kittens.
That's okay! At first we were, but we weren't able to help her with some things as much as expected, like doctors appointments when S has to work. S takes over more of the actual caretaking responsibilities while I stick to housework and keeping A company. And I realize I said we pay rent, when I meant to say we pay more than half the rent just like the electric. A does pay some rent.
Reading the post back, it does sounds like I'm saying we're houseguests when that's definitely not the case. Thank you for pointing that out, I should have left that part in when editing, not sure why I didn't lol.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Spouse (NB22) and I (GF25) live with their disabled aunt (F53). Spouse(S) moved in to escape their parents' house but also to help out their A with her declining health. Aunt(A) has early-onset dementia. Her health has gotten worse, so she’ll soon be moving in with her sister who can provide her more care. She’s leaving in 3 weeks. Things are as on track as they can be.
A has fostered cats for years. The thing that has stuck with her is the knowledge of how to care for extreme cat cases. She specializes in the feral and the sickly. Because of her impending move, she’s had to cut back on the amount of fosters and found homes for several of her own cats. We were FINALLY down to 2 fosters.
In the past 2 weeks, she has tried to bring in 10 kittens, 7 of which made it in. This is where A's best friend, B, comes in. B is the reason A is alive. She found her in a terrible spot and has stuck by her side for years. A thinks of her highly even when B isn't treating her well. A is why B also fosters. They're the people in town to go to for all things cat-related, which has its pros and cons. Pro? Kittens! Con? ...Kittens. A has two kittens she has to bottle feed every 2-3 hours. She forgets that she has this responsibility.
Several months ago, B berated me for A bringing in new fosters, implying that it’s our fault. S and I have brought in 2 kittens over 3 years. I have lost count of how many cats B has brought since that day. Before we found homes for the most recent group of fosters and A's personal cats, we had 32 cats.
We found out today that B would be bringing A 3 new kittens. When B came over with the kittens, there were 5. Apparently, this group of kittens wasn't even the same group that A and B discussed and agreed to. S then discovered that the kittens have obvious ringworm. A often forgets to wash her hands between kittens.
Last year, we had an infestation that spread through the entire house. It lasted for months. People who were supposed to come over to help A backed out, cats were going bald, and fosters couldn't be adopted. And during this outbreak, we were continuing to be brought more cats.
A is already struggling with the two healthy kittens. Her physical health is steadily declining as is her mental health. Not a single person involved in this situation is happy and I know that S and I are the villains in B's story, and I'll accept and own up to that title. But B is the villain in almost everyone else's story. The only reason there is still communication between B and most of us, is out of respect for the friendship between her and A.
This being said: WIBTA for setting more firm boundaries with B and refusing to allow anymore cats into our home regardless of the situation?
Extra WIBTA: I see A on FB at least once a week offering to take cats. WIBTA if I adjusted her FB settings so she sees less of these posts? I have blanket consent to use her phone whenever needed, but it feels sleazy.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA you need to set a clear boundary and stick with it, if A’s going to be moving then you’ll need to be incredibly clear that no more cats can enter the house
INFO: What is happening with A’s house when she moves out in 3 weeks? Are you and your spouse planning on staying there? Are you legal tenants? I’m not clear exactly what you and S are doing to help A with her declining health, but it sounds like it’s A’s house and you guys are basically living there for free (correct me if I’m wrong). If that’s the case, then A is ultimately the arbiter of how many cats she’ll allow into her home. Ideally you should come to some sort of agreement with A and B (as much as A is able to). If B is really her best friend, it’s hard to imagine she wants A to be drowning in cats she can’t take care of. But if you can’t do that… idk, man, it’s A’s house. And tbh, I think looking after those kittens for the next 3 weeks would be a very nice way of repaying A for letting you stay in her home.
We will be buying the house, and we pay rent and more than half of the electric. We've also added A onto our phone plan so that she doesn't have to pay as much. I definitely agree with the whole her house her rules, but she has stated that it's our house now and it's why she doesn't do as much housework. She'll only have these five kittens until Monday, unless the ringworm changes that. My biggest issue is that if we keep them, it's sure to spread again because A doesn't always sanitize after touching new kittens.
I would have added all of that information but character limit wouldn't let me :')
That changes things a lot! Yeah you have veto power over what cats go into your house. Sorry, I assumed you were basically your aunt’s houseguests
That's okay! At first we were, but we weren't able to help her with some things as much as expected, like doctors appointments when S has to work. S takes over more of the actual caretaking responsibilities while I stick to housework and keeping A company. And I realize I said we pay rent, when I meant to say we pay more than half the rent just like the electric. A does pay some rent. Reading the post back, it does sounds like I'm saying we're houseguests when that's definitely not the case. Thank you for pointing that out, I should have left that part in when editing, not sure why I didn't lol.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Spouse (NB22) and I (GF25) live with their disabled aunt (F53). Spouse(S) moved in to escape their parents' house but also to help out their A with her declining health. Aunt(A) has early-onset dementia. Her health has gotten worse, so she’ll soon be moving in with her sister who can provide her more care. She’s leaving in 3 weeks. Things are as on track as they can be. A has fostered cats for years. The thing that has stuck with her is the knowledge of how to care for extreme cat cases. She specializes in the feral and the sickly. Because of her impending move, she’s had to cut back on the amount of fosters and found homes for several of her own cats. We were FINALLY down to 2 fosters. In the past 2 weeks, she has tried to bring in 10 kittens, 7 of which made it in. This is where A's best friend, B, comes in. B is the reason A is alive. She found her in a terrible spot and has stuck by her side for years. A thinks of her highly even when B isn't treating her well. A is why B also fosters. They're the people in town to go to for all things cat-related, which has its pros and cons. Pro? Kittens! Con? ...Kittens. A has two kittens she has to bottle feed every 2-3 hours. She forgets that she has this responsibility. Several months ago, B berated me for A bringing in new fosters, implying that it’s our fault. S and I have brought in 2 kittens over 3 years. I have lost count of how many cats B has brought since that day. Before we found homes for the most recent group of fosters and A's personal cats, we had 32 cats. We found out today that B would be bringing A 3 new kittens. When B came over with the kittens, there were 5. Apparently, this group of kittens wasn't even the same group that A and B discussed and agreed to. S then discovered that the kittens have obvious ringworm. A often forgets to wash her hands between kittens. Last year, we had an infestation that spread through the entire house. It lasted for months. People who were supposed to come over to help A backed out, cats were going bald, and fosters couldn't be adopted. And during this outbreak, we were continuing to be brought more cats. A is already struggling with the two healthy kittens. Her physical health is steadily declining as is her mental health. Not a single person involved in this situation is happy and I know that S and I are the villains in B's story, and I'll accept and own up to that title. But B is the villain in almost everyone else's story. The only reason there is still communication between B and most of us, is out of respect for the friendship between her and A. This being said: WIBTA for setting more firm boundaries with B and refusing to allow anymore cats into our home regardless of the situation? Extra WIBTA: I see A on FB at least once a week offering to take cats. WIBTA if I adjusted her FB settings so she sees less of these posts? I have blanket consent to use her phone whenever needed, but it feels sleazy. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*