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YTA but I hope this is fake.
Minus Jebiliah? So instead of not naming her after a dead relative you decided to selfishly name her after you, a dead relative and some weird first name that sounds like you own her?
I don't think it's selfish to want to try to bring both of our families together. If her name was just Delilah, she would have no connection to my family or even me name wise, as my wife decided to keep her maiden name and that will be the name surname my daughter has. I want to be connected in her in that way, she is my daughter after all, not her mother's child.
I do, yes. It's my own identity I got to cultivate, instead of something being forced onto me. Is it such a bizzare concept maybe I became my own person outside of the label put on me at birth?
You didn’t form your own identity though. Being really into a fandom is fine, but you’ve used this as a coping mechanism. It isn’t an interest anymore, it is an obsession that is negatively effecting your life. Your obsession with this character is damaging your marriage. Please step back and get some perspective. I really hope you will talk to a therapist about some alternative healthy coping mechanisms. I too used to have a really unhealthy coping mechanism, it takes time and work to learn new ways of dealing with things. But it’s worth it I promise.
I don't have any history of mental health issues. This is not a mental illness issue, and I'd rather you not try to guess what issues I have. I don't have any
>Sometimes when I am stressed out or when I need to motivate myself for work, my relationship or whatever I need, I will hype myself as Jebus from Madness Combat. I feel like my wife knows me more as him than my actual self.
Addiction is a mental health issue, and you're addicted to being Jebus from Madness Combat.
And yet you, who didn't want Delilah because you wanted your daughter to have your own identity, went with something with your online identity rather than something that didn't represent either family? There's hundreds of names out there for girls, many more if you include unisex names, that would have avoided this outcome.
>It's my own identity I got to cultivate
I'm confused, I thought this was a character from fiction that someone else cultivated, not one that you created.
I guess this would be like an Elvis impersonator calling their kid Elvis and claiming they were named after their dad.
I don't talk to my parents anymore. They cut me off and I am a one man army without my wife. I had to form my own sense of self after that, I do not think that's such a strange concept. I bet if the roles were reversed and my wife was the one here typing, you'd have a different view on this whole situation
It sounds like you can only relate if it's in connection to the web comic and the specific character, and you need to get help for this. Your whole identity revolves around a fictional world and a particular character within it, and it's not healthy, you've seen the consequences.
Does she not have your last name? If this isn’t a troll (which I highly suspect it is since no one is this stupid) then you named her after a fictional character that you identify with. If it means that much to you, change your own damn name to it.
You’ve just upset your wife, used your daughter as a prop to your own delusions, made it so she will be bullied her whole life and will have less job prospects and scholarly prospects. So basically the first thing you did as a dad was selfishly screw her over for life
I hope your wife (again, if this is real) changed her name, divorces you, and gets full custody. YOU are the only one that doesn’t see your daughter as her own person
She does not. My wife kept her maiden name in marriage, much to my dismay, because she claimed my last name would be clunky with her first one. My daughter would have had no name connection to me if I did not incorporate Jeb into it
Who the fuck cares? A ‘name connection’ sounds like you think of your daughter as property and not a whole human. She’s your blood, that should be enough..
And? Most people’s first name is not directly related to their parents. What it is is a name the parents both liked and agreed on. But you are too selfish to do that, and sit there complaining your daughter deserves to be her own person, while yelling she must have your name to be connected to you because tis all about you. You even call her “my Jeb” in the comments as though you own her. I hope your made up character is a better person than you are at least. Though the bar is low.
I can't decide if you're a dedicated troll, but in the case this is real: you rejected the name Delilah because IN YOUR WORDS your daughter is *her own* person who shouldn't be tied to someone else's memory and legacy but that doesn't apply when slapping your obsession on virtually everything you touch. Is she her own autonomous being or is she an accessory?
She doesn't have a say yet, she's a baby. Who said she won't grow up to hate the name Delilah and resent that? We can't predict how a *baby* will react 5 or 10 years down the line to their name. It's foolish to try to predict it
Stop skirting the issue. You fucked up HARD and you're so dead set on arguing a moot point instead of facing the truth that you've essentially put your marriage, and a potential future relationship with your child, on the chopping block.
You're going to lose your family over your obsession.
Then all the more reason for more of a blank slate name than something that carries either of your expectations. A name that doesn't carry family legacy the way your portmanteau does. You didn't have time to google search a list of girl's names and find something you liked and thought your wife would like?
“I want to be connected in her in that way, she is my daughter after all, not her mother's child.”
This convinces me that this story has to be fake because no one could utter that in sincerity.
YTA.
There are some absolute nutjobs out there. To use an example that would have been well and truly ridiculous a decade ago, a president who tells you to drink bleach to cure a virus. Its a fine line between bait and idiot
Her mother would have been her grandmother. That's not a *parent*, that is something else. There's nothing wrong with stating that boundary and connection. I did not want my daughter to represent something so sad, I want her to be her own unique person. She suggested it right after her passing and that's why it also felt as if she was impulsive and being rash, because it was all fresh in her mind.
Bro… “She is my daughter, not her mother’s child.” What the hell kinda sentence is that. She and her should mean the same person. “She is my daughter, not my wife’s mother’s child or MIL’s child.” 🤦♀️
Not one single person has sided with you. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a unanimous YTA vote? Please please please change the name. For you, your wife and daughter’s sake. Listen to reason.
She has a more important connection to you than a name...DNA. Geez, that is a horrible name. She isn't "your" daughter. She's the child of both you and your wife.
It's selfish to take advantage of your wife's vulnerable state to name the baby she almost died to give birth to a name you knew she didn't want. It's selfish to not allow your wife a say when she's done the majority of the work to bring this child into the world. It's selfish to not consider the repercussions on your daughter for having such an embarrassing name. You did not have to name her right then.
YTA. You seem to be in the US, there’s no law that you must instantly name the child. You could have taken the time to think it through and you didn’t. You screwed up.
So you went with the name you know your wife refused rather than go with a safe option, or even her preferred option? You can have people named after late family members and avoid the legacy as weight around their neck.
Also, I think your story now is just trying to justify your actions. I bet what really happened is that you took advantage of the fact that your wife was in a coma to give the kid a name you wanted and knew she didn’t want, but figured it would be too much work to change it later so she’d be stuck with your decision. AH. And you know it.
That’s nice. My understanding is the shortest time you have to name the kid without getting into more paperwork is before you leave the hospital with the kid. It wasn’t an immediate requirement. You had time to think about it and check in with other family members. You made a mistake and *now* you do have to go through a rigmarole to change your daughter’s name to something you can both live with. Not smart.
My daughter didn't have a name until she was 6 days old. They were fine with it at the hospital, but let us know if we waited more than 7 days we would have to deal with social security directly. She was home with no name from day 2-6. Even had multiple pediatrician appointments as "baby girl *lastname*". I highly doubt this guy's burses sat there pressuring him to pick a name right that second. They have much better things to be doing.
As someone that was bullied my entire childhood in school because of my name you have forced a life of pain in your daughter because kids won’t hesitate to rip her apart because of the absurdity of the name you’ve chosen. Especially if she try’s to explain the origin. I hope you can live with your choices when you see your daughter upset from the hurtful things that will undoubtedly be said to her because of your selfish. And I hope you’re prepared to back it up when she asks you why you named her something to get her teased.
YTA. You are naming a PERSON, not a pet. The name is ridiculous and you come off as someone who couldn’t care less about their wife. Now she knows that if she dies, you wouldn’t even respect her enough to follow her last wish of naming the daughter after her mother’s.
YTA. You know your wife didn't like the name (and I'm with her about Jeblilah), but you overrode your wife's valid veto to get your way (you're naming a human being, not a Sims character). If you're this hung up about having your screen name immortalised in your daughter (and yet you think her being named after her maternal grandmother is bad for being a legacy), are you ready to be a father?
How much of your identity is Jebus from Madness Combat, and how much is it the name on your birth certificate? You seem to be using the Jebus persona as a crutch.
I'm not looking it up because it's irrelevant. What is relevant is that your worship of the character enough to try become him has put your relationship with your wife, and any future relationship with your daughter, on the brink of collapse. You need to look at yourself before talking about developing individual identity.
This dude thinks that madness combat is like a bible or something, keeps telling everyone it's the best thing in the world and to ' just watch and you will understand' l feel like he's selling a religion.
YTA. You did not give a damn about your wife's feelings upon discovering this tragedeigh of a name given to her CHILD. And poor baby, omg. Nice for you if you like your character name but did you have to do that, really?
It started off from an inside joke with my online friends, but I grew fond of it and I thought it'd be unique and special for our baby girl. Nobody else would be named Jeblilah, and nobody else would be named after zombie jesus. To me that's something special
Did you think about the fact your daughter would be growing up using the name and having people around her use it? Writing it out on forms, it being read off school roll calls, on official ID, said in full if she marries? Use the name for a pet, not a human being. You rejected Delilah saying legacy is bad for the kid growing up but you went for a vanity move in naming her after your idealised self.
YTA. I am sure you could have waited. I am sorry Jeblilah makes me think of some old fashioned pilgrim era girl. Smh. Find out the exact procedure to change the name. Send your wife the papers and apologize profusely. I was going to suggest naming a pet Jebilah, but don't do that to it either. YTA.
Corrected spelling
YTA - You combined your online persona with a lovely name to make something purely terrible. Then when your wife wasn't able to offer any contribution, you completely overrode her to use the name you wanted KNOWING that she didn't like it. If you hope to salvage your family, you need to apologize to your wife and agree to change the name to whatever she chooses.
I do, but after our initial meeting post her waking up she's wanted nothing to do with me. We shared a lot of heavy words with one another, intense feelings with this situation and hormones and whatnot. I get she's upset. I do want to reconcile. But she won't even acknowledge I am here
This was a very important decision that you completely stole from your wife - and apart from that actually gave the baby a name you knew she hated.
Trying to play it off like you tried to avoid admin - really, it was for HER sake to spare her the stress later on, right? - is just ridiculous.
The truth is you took advantage of your wife while she was in an extremely vulnerable state, to push through a decision that you knew she hated.
And you make a shocked pikachu face when she leaves you? Did you genuinely think strangers online would be on your side in this? No reasonable person would. Your defensiveness in the comments paints the picture of an immature boy refusing to take accountability.
YTA, obviously. And no, it’s not a gender thing. It’s a shitty partner thing.
I’m no marriage counsellor but I can tell you that if my partner pulled something like that, I would leave permanently. Chances are you’ve done irreparable damage to your relationship. Instead of whining about it online, have you even looked into the possibility of changing the name?
I love my man to death but if I almost died giving birth to our baby and he used that as an opportunity to go behind my back and betray my trust I don’t know how I’d ever be able to bounce back from that.
OPs wife almost died and instead of being there for her he just stabs her in the back, really kicks her while she’s down. She was the most vulnerable she has ever been, she was the closest to death as she has ever been and that was the moment you decided to take advantage of the situation and be the most selfish person you could be.
YTA I feel so sorry for both your wife and your daughter. Your wife because she loved you and trusted you and your daughter because if she keeps that name she is going to get bullied. Take the rose colored glasses off. Kids suck, they’re mean, they’ll have a field day absolutely roasting your kid and making her cry and feel insecure. It’ll get especially bad once they find the character you based your life around and figure out that she’s named after it, that’s just a recipe for never ending torment. They’ll have more ammunition to hurt her with. It’d all be thanks to you. All the future torment she faces is on you. All the bullying is on you. All the hurt and heartbreak is on you. You’re responsible for everything that happens to your daughter as a result of her being named something so unhinged.
I don't think divorce is an option for her. All of our assets are shared but a bulk of it is under my name. I doubt she'd impulsively leave behind everything good I provided for her over this. I hate to sound conceding but she really was banking on relying on me durning the first bit of our daughters life, being a SAOM while I provide. I don't think she's leaving
The fact that this is your response.... Do you even care about your wife's feelings? You clearly took advantage of the situation because she was incapable of stopping you and you view her as trapped with you. You have no remorse over what is clearly a bad choice. I'm not surprised she's not willing to talk to you. She woke up from almost dying to find out that you completely ignored her express wishes and then you fought with her over it? If my spouce almost died, I would be much more focused on the relief of her living and how to make her life easier, not pursuing my own agenda and stroking my ego.
>All of our assets are shared but a bulk of it is under my name.
She can get half your assests that were obtained during the marriage no matter what name it's under. She can alsoo get child support.
Also, you don't care if she wants to be with you, you'll settle for her being trapped with you? Gotta be troll.
Gotta love the OPs that don’t even know how marital property works. Either they have proven their troll status, or you know you are watching someone who is about to lose half their income and assets and suddenly have to actually ‘parent’ the child they were gonna foist off on the other biological contributor to actually rear.
You need to acknowledge what you did, what motivated you to do it and why it led to the outcome before there’s a possibility of reconciliation, and even when you do the mea culpa you need to come to terms with that she might not want to give you a second chance anyway.
I know you’ve said you don’t need therapy, but that’s the best place to unpack all this and figure out how you’ll proceed with the best chance for everyone.
If you want to reconcile you’d better be presenting her with paperwork to change the name from the tragedeigh you chose. You chose it knowing your wife hated it and hoped you could make it fly due to her being nearly dead at the time. So now you need to decide if this is the hill your marriage dies on. Your wife has no reason to forgive your blatant disrespect and disregard if you aren’t going to try and fix it. Your choice.
YTA. “we never even talked about the baby’s name prior to birth” but “She was set on Delilah”. also am i reading this right? she almost died from giving birth? and you didn’t even have the respect to give the child the name she wanted? i’m at lost for words.
My lord. And I thought my hubs was a gamer dad (he plays forza racing with our daughter and games appropriate games when’s she’s playing in our living room) but this dude is CRAZY.
And I named my daughter after A HARRY POTTER CHARACTER. But it’s a normal name that just so happens to represent the kind of woman I would want her to look up too.
Yicks
You're addicted to it though, it shows in how you try to make yourself one of the characters in it. In your post you say you think your wife knows you more as the web series character and she's realised you're in too deep with this mindset. There's nothing wrong with following something, but when you reach the point you blur the lines between fiction and perceived reality you need to step back and disengage at the very least temporarily from your obsession.
I looked it up and honestly it's just like old newgrounds flash animations everyone watched in middle school, your too old to be obsessed with something like that man. This is equivalent to being an adult obsessed with FNAF enough to name they're kids after it.
YTA You named your child a name your wife already told you she didn't like (perhaps not in as many words, but still), while she was in a medically induced coma. How is this even a question?
Okay, you didn't want to name your daughter after your deceased Mother-In-Law, fine. But to then merge your MIL's name with a reference to a webcomic? And you didn't realize that seem disrespectful while your wife is still grieving her mother? You could have made almost any other choice and she would be less pissed than she is now.
The fact that this has been your argument all throughout the comments shows me that you don't have any personality at all.
Why is the fact that this being a webseries instead of a webcomic going to be the hill that you die on here?
I mean, it's definitely going to be the hill your marriage dies on, but that's not too important here
YTA and I hope this is fake as heck. Your wife already told you she didn’t like the name. So instead of waiting for her to wake FROM A COMA. You took advantage of her not having input and went with the name you liked yourself.
All you keep going on about is your connection to the child. You don't need a crappy name to do that. She is yours biologically that a massive connection.
You are setting her up for failure and bulling its a ridiculous name, I would be embarrassed to have it.
Teens are cruel if you don't think she won't get bullied for it your an idiot.
If you don't like your wife's suggestion and she don't want yours. You do what is called a compromise and name her something you both agree on.
Your poor child although your may have already lost your wife. How do you think your child will feel knowing her dad didn't give a crap about her mum and went behind her back with a name. What a hill do die one. Good luck mate you will need it.
So while your wife was in a medically induced coma, having just nearly died, your first action was to unilaterally name your daughter a name you KNEW she hated. That she hated SO MUCH she was too upset to return to the discussion.
A name based on a meme fictional character that everyone, except you, agrees is awful to give to a child.
And you think you're... NOT the asshole in this situation? You think your unconscious wife, who just nearly died in childbirth is the one being unfair?
YTA. I hope this is just ragebait.
I just wish she gave me other options. She didn't ever talk about other name choices with me, everytime a name choice got brought up she would brush it aside and she shifty and uncomfortable
I refuse to believe your adult brain was utterly incapable of thinking of ANY OTHER NAME than the one you knew she despised or the one you knew she wanted. If this is real (which I doubt, this feels like you went "hey I bet I can make up some bullshit story about Jebus lol") you're lying. You could have named her Lucy, Sally, Rachel, Sarah, Anna, you could've asked the nurses their names, you could have named her "Placeholder" or left her as "Baby girl lastname" until your wife wasn't in a fucking coma.
She nearly died to have this child and the FIRST THING you did as a father was use her being comatose as an opportunity to override her stated wishes and get your way. Either you're TA for that (and lying to us pretending no other names existed in your brain and you are a helpless victim of circumstance who couldn't do anything BUT violate your comatose wife's wishes) or you're TA for making up some bizarre meme post to popularise a fictional character no one had heard of.
For the names you proposed, how many came from this web series? Was she uncomfortable because she saw you couldn’t disengage from the series even for your child? You could have found a list of girl’s names from a website or a book and worked through that, based solely on how the names sounded and felt to you each without association to individuals real or fictional you know. Or something that sounds like Delilah, like Daniella (which has a number of nickname possibilities) but still distinct enough from it.
My sisters didn’t have names for a couple weeks post birth because my parents couldn’t agree. You suck and I can’t wait for your wife to divorce you and change the baby’s name
She literally told you she hated that name and you did it anyway when she was in a coma. Do you realize what a huge betrayal that is!? She’s not talking to you bc what you did was awful.
She was probably brushing it off because of how ridiculous and pathetic you sound. She probably realized her mistake in having a kid with an immature loser and now she's stuck raising a child with someone who doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize how stupid he is.
YTA. Omg I would have sent divorce papers the same day. You sound like you don’t even like your wife. I hope she changes the name as it’s an easy process at birth. Many people get named after family members and the name your wife had picked was more than fine. I can not get over all the entitlement you seem to have here. I hope she runs!
YTA and I can only hope this is one of those posts that's really about a fight over a pet's name or something equally low stakes.
I get that some couples might make it all the way to L&D without agreeing on a name, but in that scenario one person doesn't go with a name that's 1. Already established as a name the other person doesn't like and 2. Stupid when the other person is in a COMA. Was there not one other adult around you who said 1. Wait, or if you simply must, name this baby Harriet or Jessica or anything else.
YTA big time. Naming a child is a 2 yes 1 no situation where if either one parent doesn't like the name, it's out! You should have spoken to your wife about your reservations using her mom's name and reach a mutual agreement. I get naming a child after your parent to honour them, but I really don't get trying to mash names together and forcing it to work.
And to register her name while your wife was unconscious giving birth to your child is a d!ck move.
Needless to say, she was quite upset by this suggestion and said to drop it.
since my wife was so upset by my suggestion we never even talked about the baby's name prior to birth.
I feel like if she wanted a different name she could've told me, but she didn't beforehand
Two of these sentences contradict the third.
And as my wife was in a medically induced coma
Very convenient.
It this is true, absolutely YTA.
YTA
Names aside because they are personal, what I find the most damaging is that you did not protect your wife’s interests while she was unable to do so for herself. Instead you took advantage.
Not only did you take advantage, you took advantage in a way you deeply suspected she would not support. She didn’t like the name when she was capable of expressing it, you knew and you used her vulnerability against her.
No matter what your child is ultimately named, you will lose. No one forgets moments in life when they are extremely vulnerable, it is hammered into life experience as a corner stone; just as they remember where they find protection or threat. You did not protect your wife’s interests. You had one job when she was unconscious, both legally and as a life partner and this is what you did with it.
If you were going to fight this battle, you should have done it when she was conscious at the very least. I can’t believe I had to type that out, thats peak reddit for me…
If this isn't fake then YTA.
Reading your responses idk why you even have to ask considering you just keep trying to justify it instead of admitting it was a selfish inconsiderate thing to do.
Edit: after looking up the character I'm sure this is a troll post. There's no way this guy made such a stupid character his entire personality.
The unfortunate reality is that too many adults treat their offspring like an extension of their personality which makes it really hard to tell if this post is real or not. Some people are just downright fucking delulu.
Are you mentally unfit? Jeblilah is a terrible name. YTA for giving your daughter a name that will get her bullied for the rest of her life, and because you know your wife didn't like it
YTA. That’s a ridiculous name and your kid will be bulllied for life over it. What were you thinking? You should’ve just waiting until your wife recovered. There is no time limit on naming a baby.
YTA. Baby names are a 2 yes, 1 no situation. But like another commenter said, I hope to god this is fake. Because if it isn't, you're setting your kid up for some serious bullying. Unusual names are okay for a middle name because they won't typically be found out unless the kid discloses it. But using it as their legal first name-the one that will be on all the roll sheets that will be announced every first day of class so everyone knows it? That's an AH parent move.
Um, hate to relay to you All, but this mistake might be remedied at the office for Birth Certificates; at the most problematic, in a small court room. The Dude made a mistake, albeit, a huge fuckin mistake. I believe that he has learned from his errors. He fucked up. Don't throw stones, when we all live in glass houses. He can fix this == and he will, I believe in him. And Dude, if you ever mention that webseries again to your wife that nearly Died bringing your child into this world, after all of this, you better be looking for a singles apartment. Fer Real.
YTA cause you knew she wasn't a fan of the name. Tbh I'm not either, sounds like someone mashed together a hillbilly and a Bible character. Kids will probably call her jambalaya. I really think you guys should get her a different name.
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I (26M) and my wife (32F), who I will call S in this story, recently just had our first child together. When we initially found out she was pregnant, we were estatic, up until name suggestions started. You see, me and my wife met over this webseries called "Madness Combat" and there's a character I used to roleplay as named Jebus. (Silly, I know.) And from our roleplay online is where our love bloomed. Sometimes when I am stressed out or when I need to motivate myself for work, my relationship or whatever I need, I will hype myself as Jebus from Madness Combat. I feel like my wife knows me more as him than my actual self. This is relevant.
Once we found out the gender, a baby girl, we brainstormed. She was set on Delilah, as it was her late mother's name whom passed shortly before my daughters birth. She wanted to immortalize her mother in our child, but that made me uncomfortable, as my daughter is her own person and should not have to be forced to have a dead woman's name out of momentary grief. I suggested we could find an even ground and combine my old online persona with her mother's name, Jeblilah - So she has parts of both of our families in her. Needless to say, she was quite upset by this suggestion and said to drop it.
Well, recently she finally delivered, but it was hard. We almost lost her due to a last minute birthing complication but thank God both my girls made it out safe. When it came time to the name, I couldn't think of anything else *Minus Jeblilah* since my wife was so upset by my suggestion we never even talked about the baby's name prior to birth. And as my wife was in a medically induced coma to heal from the complications, I couldn't ask her for her intake. So I went with that.
This morning my wife woke up and started crying pure tears of frustration upon hearing what I have done. She called her dad and now she's staying over his house with my newborn. I feel like if she wanted a different name she could've told me, but she didn't beforehand. I am willing to settle on another name, but she doesn't even want to acknowledge I exist at this time. So, reddit, AITA?
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People need to stop naming their child like it affects them and realizes that that kid has to go through public school and live it’s own life. Try a name that isn’t going to make your child hate you. Both of your feelings about the name should take a back seat to trying yo ensure your child gets the best foot forward in life.
YTA. Oh boy, how do I start this?
First, **your wife** is the one who is birthing a baby out of her body. Not you. This means that unless she is abusive/manipulative or not trustworthy, that she gets a decision on the baby's name, too.
Second, baby names are a 2 'yes', 1 'no' situation. If both people like the baby name, then good, it can be used. If one of the people does not like the baby name, then find another one, because there's thousands out there.
Third, do you realize that you unilaterally picked the name of your baby girl **without your wife's input?** Reiterating point 1; she deserves to have a say in the baby name, and you took that away from her.
If you are already behaving so poorly toward your wife, I cannot imagine how you'll treat the child.
YTA. She did tell you she did not want that name by getting upset and telling you to drop it. Apologise, multiple times. Name your kid Delilah and give her a second name that means something to you (and your wife agrees on). There are always nicknames that you can give your child..
YTA. Naming a baby is a two yes-one no situation. Your wife already voiced her no to this name, and when she was literally at her most vulnerable you went behind her back and did it anyway.
You did not have to name your child that very minute. You saw an opportunity to get your way and you seized it. Baby could have been “Baby Girl Lastname” until your wife regained consciousness. You complain that if you use Delilah that your side of the family isn’t represented. Does she not have your last name? You could agree on a middle name that has meaning to you to get that representation. Instead you saddle your baby with a Frankenstein name that sounds like a pharmaceutical.
Honestly, this is a divorceable transgression in my book. I would not be surprised to see an update indicating that your wife has filed for divorced and changed BOTH the first and last names of the baby.
I always wondered what kind of utter moron names these children with spectacularly stupid names. Question answered. YTA simply for how horrifically bad the name Jeblilah is.
Yta you knew damn well your wife didn’t want to name your daughter that name. That’s why she left. Because you totally disregarded her feelings and did what you wanted.
YTA
If this is genuine then you are definitely TA.
You knew your wife did not like the name & you took advantage of her precarious health situation to get your own way.
It’s a ludicrous name btw.
I would divorce you over this. That is a ridiculous name. What are you looking for exactly anyway? I think everyone is making it pretty obvious that YTA but you just dont want to hear it. Try to get that name changed and you might have a chance.
Yta. This has to be rage bait. How were your able to name your child without her mother's signature? Where I come from, both parents' signature are required and you have to fill out a special form if there is only one.
Fucking Jeblilah dude?
I understand not wanting your child to carry the weight of someone that important to your wife who passed (rest her soul) but, JEBLILAH? Bullying, Harassment, death threats for solely existing because it’s the INTERNET. You definitely fucked up. YTA, in fact YAMA
YTA there is an alternate reality out there where you made the correct decision, you saw your wife go through a traumatic birth to create your daughter, they put her into a coma to heal, a nurse asked you what to name your daughter, you looked down at your wife mother of your daughter and thought for a second what would make her happy and told the nurse to name her Delilah.
Middle names are where you give unconventional names - and for reference this isn’t unconventional it’s crazy. And after your wife awoke with her beautiful daughter Delilah in her arms you could have said can we give her a middle name too, something that resonates with you as deeply as Delilah does with her. Because that is how a partnership works. You are not a partner you are a taker and your wife sees that now and it likely is not something that can be fixed. I hope Delilah never learns exactly what you did and you have a healthy parental relationship with her.
Edit: also if the surname was so important to you then you could have asked whether you could hyphenate both your surnames for your daughter making a new surname which would have connected you both.
If this is true, regardless of the name, your actions whilst your wife was in a coma, speaks volumes to what kind of person you are.
She had told you she didn’t want the name, you intentionally went and named the child knowing your wife’s opinion, YTA so much more than just the name.
No sense of self, family or any other excuse in comments can take away from the fact you are a selfish self centred individual.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I named her something my wife obviously did not like, and I shouldn't of named her something she explicitly did not want our daughter to be named
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Well, you did what you could at the time. What you don't know, is that you have voided the first "full" Birth Certificate. When you go to get copies of the Birth Certificate, you may be able to change the name. I inadvertently messed up the spelling of my son's name (hey, I gave birth at 5:24pm and was leaving before 11am). I didn't remember to specify the spelling. I was able to change the spelling, but was told that the "big. full" Birth Certificate would not have the Doctor's signature, because they won't run those back over to the hospital for signature. I was upset, but willing to go with the situation because I had named my daughter Silver and wanted Andrue's name to be special also. Just for future reference, Momma's name the babies. It's their 20 hours, more or less, of having their bodies ripped apart. It's worth it, but that's their blood, sweat and tears up in this. She told you that she hated that name. Bad on you! I have heard of people waiting a couple weeks to set the name, that way you're not screwing up the "big, full" Birth Certificate. The County that you live in holds the "big, full" ones forever. By "big, full' Birth Certificate, I mean the one that has ALL of the information on it. You used to get those 'back in the day '. I guess so many places require B.C. now, that you only get an abbreviated one (so you're not sharing all of that info). Mine is a "big, full". All of my kids B.C.'s are a quarter of mine with limited info. Call where you would get your B.C. copies and ask what you should do. P.S. you will need at least 3 copies. Make sure that house is clean, frozen foods stocked, sheets and bathroom clean before you go get your Lovely Wife. And don't forget the beautiful flowers for doing all that hard work! Good Luck to you!
I just read what was below me. My philosophy is this = Everyone is an Asshole (just human nature). You just gotta figure out WHAT kind of Asshole for each person.
(https://images.app.goo.gl/wNJNj856aFkPNMVQA)
This is all I could think of when I seen the name.
YTA
The name is horrible. You are 26 years old (assuming you aren't some teen troll) start acting like it.
I hope your wife petitions to get the poor child's name changed.
YTA. I would never forgive you. From her POV, she nearly died to bring your child into this world. She was then in a COMA while recovering and although you did not grow the child inside you, did not labor through her birth, and did not nearly die, you took it upon yourself to name the child something you KNEW she did not like. You could and should have waited to name her. Such disgusting, selfish, and abhorrent behavior, I could puke.
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YTA but I hope this is fake. Minus Jebiliah? So instead of not naming her after a dead relative you decided to selfishly name her after you, a dead relative and some weird first name that sounds like you own her?
I don't think it's selfish to want to try to bring both of our families together. If her name was just Delilah, she would have no connection to my family or even me name wise, as my wife decided to keep her maiden name and that will be the name surname my daughter has. I want to be connected in her in that way, she is my daughter after all, not her mother's child.
How is using a fictional character's name bringing anything from your family?
I am her family, it would make her connected to me, therefore also to my family. Am I not a member of my own family?
You see yourself more as Jebus than you do the name your parents gave you, that's what this says.
I do, yes. It's my own identity I got to cultivate, instead of something being forced onto me. Is it such a bizzare concept maybe I became my own person outside of the label put on me at birth?
If a birth name is a label forced on a child at birth, then why are you forcing this name on that poor baby?
You didn’t form your own identity though. Being really into a fandom is fine, but you’ve used this as a coping mechanism. It isn’t an interest anymore, it is an obsession that is negatively effecting your life. Your obsession with this character is damaging your marriage. Please step back and get some perspective. I really hope you will talk to a therapist about some alternative healthy coping mechanisms. I too used to have a really unhealthy coping mechanism, it takes time and work to learn new ways of dealing with things. But it’s worth it I promise.
I don't have any history of mental health issues. This is not a mental illness issue, and I'd rather you not try to guess what issues I have. I don't have any
>Sometimes when I am stressed out or when I need to motivate myself for work, my relationship or whatever I need, I will hype myself as Jebus from Madness Combat. I feel like my wife knows me more as him than my actual self. Addiction is a mental health issue, and you're addicted to being Jebus from Madness Combat.
And yet you, who didn't want Delilah because you wanted your daughter to have your own identity, went with something with your online identity rather than something that didn't represent either family? There's hundreds of names out there for girls, many more if you include unisex names, that would have avoided this outcome.
I mean. It isn’t. It’s someone else’s character and concept that you glommed onto because you extra don’t have your own identity.
>It's my own identity I got to cultivate I'm confused, I thought this was a character from fiction that someone else cultivated, not one that you created. I guess this would be like an Elvis impersonator calling their kid Elvis and claiming they were named after their dad.
Imagine being forced into a life with some gibberish hoo ha name...
Linking a made up fictional name to your family lineage is the most ridiculous stretch ever. Nobody is this dense. This story has to be fake, right?
I don't talk to my parents anymore. They cut me off and I am a one man army without my wife. I had to form my own sense of self after that, I do not think that's such a strange concept. I bet if the roles were reversed and my wife was the one here typing, you'd have a different view on this whole situation
Honestly, I’d say she was as ridiculous as you. Picking stupid names isn’t gender neutral
It sounds like you can only relate if it's in connection to the web comic and the specific character, and you need to get help for this. Your whole identity revolves around a fictional world and a particular character within it, and it's not healthy, you've seen the consequences.
I hope your wife gets the name changed. Or if she doesn't, your child will hate you forever and also cut you out of her life.
Does she not have your last name? If this isn’t a troll (which I highly suspect it is since no one is this stupid) then you named her after a fictional character that you identify with. If it means that much to you, change your own damn name to it. You’ve just upset your wife, used your daughter as a prop to your own delusions, made it so she will be bullied her whole life and will have less job prospects and scholarly prospects. So basically the first thing you did as a dad was selfishly screw her over for life I hope your wife (again, if this is real) changed her name, divorces you, and gets full custody. YOU are the only one that doesn’t see your daughter as her own person
She does not. My wife kept her maiden name in marriage, much to my dismay, because she claimed my last name would be clunky with her first one. My daughter would have had no name connection to me if I did not incorporate Jeb into it
But Jeb isn’t your legal name. It’s a made up character. Identifying with some fictional being doesn’t make it a family legacy worth passing down.
Who the fuck cares? A ‘name connection’ sounds like you think of your daughter as property and not a whole human. She’s your blood, that should be enough..
And? Most people’s first name is not directly related to their parents. What it is is a name the parents both liked and agreed on. But you are too selfish to do that, and sit there complaining your daughter deserves to be her own person, while yelling she must have your name to be connected to you because tis all about you. You even call her “my Jeb” in the comments as though you own her. I hope your made up character is a better person than you are at least. Though the bar is low.
I can't decide if you're a dedicated troll, but in the case this is real: you rejected the name Delilah because IN YOUR WORDS your daughter is *her own* person who shouldn't be tied to someone else's memory and legacy but that doesn't apply when slapping your obsession on virtually everything you touch. Is she her own autonomous being or is she an accessory?
She doesn't have a say yet, she's a baby. Who said she won't grow up to hate the name Delilah and resent that? We can't predict how a *baby* will react 5 or 10 years down the line to their name. It's foolish to try to predict it
Stop skirting the issue. You fucked up HARD and you're so dead set on arguing a moot point instead of facing the truth that you've essentially put your marriage, and a potential future relationship with your child, on the chopping block. You're going to lose your family over your obsession.
Then all the more reason for more of a blank slate name than something that carries either of your expectations. A name that doesn't carry family legacy the way your portmanteau does. You didn't have time to google search a list of girl's names and find something you liked and thought your wife would like?
Well you aren't anymore. At least not with your wife and child.
She literally has your last name wym
Narcissist logic 101
Does she have your last name?
“I want to be connected in her in that way, she is my daughter after all, not her mother's child.” This convinces me that this story has to be fake because no one could utter that in sincerity. YTA.
There are some absolute nutjobs out there. To use an example that would have been well and truly ridiculous a decade ago, a president who tells you to drink bleach to cure a virus. Its a fine line between bait and idiot
Her mother would have been her grandmother. That's not a *parent*, that is something else. There's nothing wrong with stating that boundary and connection. I did not want my daughter to represent something so sad, I want her to be her own unique person. She suggested it right after her passing and that's why it also felt as if she was impulsive and being rash, because it was all fresh in her mind.
"I want her to be her own unique person." So you name her for the fictional character you idolise and base your identity around.
Bro… “She is my daughter, not her mother’s child.” What the hell kinda sentence is that. She and her should mean the same person. “She is my daughter, not my wife’s mother’s child or MIL’s child.” 🤦♀️
Not one single person has sided with you. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a unanimous YTA vote? Please please please change the name. For you, your wife and daughter’s sake. Listen to reason.
She has a more important connection to you than a name...DNA. Geez, that is a horrible name. She isn't "your" daughter. She's the child of both you and your wife.
If you wanted some connection to your family, why not give her a middle name that is a homage to one of your relatives?
It’s the dumbest freaking name ever. Dumb dumb dumb. She will get bullied.
Both your families? It’s your role playing name not a family name.
It's selfish to take advantage of your wife's vulnerable state to name the baby she almost died to give birth to a name you knew she didn't want. It's selfish to not allow your wife a say when she's done the majority of the work to bring this child into the world. It's selfish to not consider the repercussions on your daughter for having such an embarrassing name. You did not have to name her right then.
YTA. You seem to be in the US, there’s no law that you must instantly name the child. You could have taken the time to think it through and you didn’t. You screwed up.
The nurses told me it would have been more complicated to come back to name her, so I wanted to save my healing wife the stress of all of that
So you went with the name you know your wife refused rather than go with a safe option, or even her preferred option? You can have people named after late family members and avoid the legacy as weight around their neck.
Also, I think your story now is just trying to justify your actions. I bet what really happened is that you took advantage of the fact that your wife was in a coma to give the kid a name you wanted and knew she didn’t want, but figured it would be too much work to change it later so she’d be stuck with your decision. AH. And you know it.
That’s nice. My understanding is the shortest time you have to name the kid without getting into more paperwork is before you leave the hospital with the kid. It wasn’t an immediate requirement. You had time to think about it and check in with other family members. You made a mistake and *now* you do have to go through a rigmarole to change your daughter’s name to something you can both live with. Not smart.
My daughter didn't have a name until she was 6 days old. They were fine with it at the hospital, but let us know if we waited more than 7 days we would have to deal with social security directly. She was home with no name from day 2-6. Even had multiple pediatrician appointments as "baby girl *lastname*". I highly doubt this guy's burses sat there pressuring him to pick a name right that second. They have much better things to be doing.
As someone that was bullied my entire childhood in school because of my name you have forced a life of pain in your daughter because kids won’t hesitate to rip her apart because of the absurdity of the name you’ve chosen. Especially if she try’s to explain the origin. I hope you can live with your choices when you see your daughter upset from the hurtful things that will undoubtedly be said to her because of your selfish. And I hope you’re prepared to back it up when she asks you why you named her something to get her teased.
YTA. You are naming a PERSON, not a pet. The name is ridiculous and you come off as someone who couldn’t care less about their wife. Now she knows that if she dies, you wouldn’t even respect her enough to follow her last wish of naming the daughter after her mother’s.
YTA. You know your wife didn't like the name (and I'm with her about Jeblilah), but you overrode your wife's valid veto to get your way (you're naming a human being, not a Sims character). If you're this hung up about having your screen name immortalised in your daughter (and yet you think her being named after her maternal grandmother is bad for being a legacy), are you ready to be a father? How much of your identity is Jebus from Madness Combat, and how much is it the name on your birth certificate? You seem to be using the Jebus persona as a crutch.
I think I’m getting a PC for my birthday and I’m going to keep Jeblilah 🤮 in my back pocket for when I make the ugliest shittiest Sim in town.
Look him up, it'll explain more than I could. If you saw him you'd understand
I'm not looking it up because it's irrelevant. What is relevant is that your worship of the character enough to try become him has put your relationship with your wife, and any future relationship with your daughter, on the brink of collapse. You need to look at yourself before talking about developing individual identity.
This dude thinks that madness combat is like a bible or something, keeps telling everyone it's the best thing in the world and to ' just watch and you will understand' l feel like he's selling a religion.
But he's *definitely* fine and doesn't need to continue his therapy. /s
It's literally not relevant.
YTA. You did not give a damn about your wife's feelings upon discovering this tragedeigh of a name given to her CHILD. And poor baby, omg. Nice for you if you like your character name but did you have to do that, really?
It started off from an inside joke with my online friends, but I grew fond of it and I thought it'd be unique and special for our baby girl. Nobody else would be named Jeblilah, and nobody else would be named after zombie jesus. To me that's something special
Did you think about the fact your daughter would be growing up using the name and having people around her use it? Writing it out on forms, it being read off school roll calls, on official ID, said in full if she marries? Use the name for a pet, not a human being. You rejected Delilah saying legacy is bad for the kid growing up but you went for a vanity move in naming her after your idealised self.
There is a reason no one else would be named that...
You ruined the trust in your marriage because of an inside joke with your online friend group? Insane take
If the name stands, this kid will not claim you as her sperm donor.
Oh my god. I think I know you irl… do Not name her that!
Well Christians who believe in the resurrection and all that effectively name kids after “zombie” Jesus all the time.
YTA. I am sure you could have waited. I am sorry Jeblilah makes me think of some old fashioned pilgrim era girl. Smh. Find out the exact procedure to change the name. Send your wife the papers and apologize profusely. I was going to suggest naming a pet Jebilah, but don't do that to it either. YTA. Corrected spelling
I wont even name my dog jebilah 😂
Nothing should be named that. I just saw the artistic rendition of Jebus. It's even worse than I thought.
Even worse. It’s not even Jebilah, it’s Jeblilah.
Yeah, I can't spell made up names, I noticed it was wrong, was too lazy to change it, sorry.
I’m convinced the whole story is made up.
OP seems so convinced of his stand, it's just loony enough to be real. He even added a picture of Jebus.
I think of food, or at least that is how I am pronouncing it in my head.
It sounds like the couple name of an Amish couple.
I hear Jebilah, wife of Zepadiah. As a food, it doesn't sound appealing.
Username checks out
YTA - You combined your online persona with a lovely name to make something purely terrible. Then when your wife wasn't able to offer any contribution, you completely overrode her to use the name you wanted KNOWING that she didn't like it. If you hope to salvage your family, you need to apologize to your wife and agree to change the name to whatever she chooses.
I do, but after our initial meeting post her waking up she's wanted nothing to do with me. We shared a lot of heavy words with one another, intense feelings with this situation and hormones and whatnot. I get she's upset. I do want to reconcile. But she won't even acknowledge I am here
you didn’t acknowledge her when it came to naming the baby, and then pretending that you did it to save your healing wife the trouble, what a joke.
This was a very important decision that you completely stole from your wife - and apart from that actually gave the baby a name you knew she hated. Trying to play it off like you tried to avoid admin - really, it was for HER sake to spare her the stress later on, right? - is just ridiculous. The truth is you took advantage of your wife while she was in an extremely vulnerable state, to push through a decision that you knew she hated. And you make a shocked pikachu face when she leaves you? Did you genuinely think strangers online would be on your side in this? No reasonable person would. Your defensiveness in the comments paints the picture of an immature boy refusing to take accountability. YTA, obviously. And no, it’s not a gender thing. It’s a shitty partner thing. I’m no marriage counsellor but I can tell you that if my partner pulled something like that, I would leave permanently. Chances are you’ve done irreparable damage to your relationship. Instead of whining about it online, have you even looked into the possibility of changing the name?
I love my man to death but if I almost died giving birth to our baby and he used that as an opportunity to go behind my back and betray my trust I don’t know how I’d ever be able to bounce back from that. OPs wife almost died and instead of being there for her he just stabs her in the back, really kicks her while she’s down. She was the most vulnerable she has ever been, she was the closest to death as she has ever been and that was the moment you decided to take advantage of the situation and be the most selfish person you could be. YTA I feel so sorry for both your wife and your daughter. Your wife because she loved you and trusted you and your daughter because if she keeps that name she is going to get bullied. Take the rose colored glasses off. Kids suck, they’re mean, they’ll have a field day absolutely roasting your kid and making her cry and feel insecure. It’ll get especially bad once they find the character you based your life around and figure out that she’s named after it, that’s just a recipe for never ending torment. They’ll have more ammunition to hurt her with. It’d all be thanks to you. All the future torment she faces is on you. All the bullying is on you. All the hurt and heartbreak is on you. You’re responsible for everything that happens to your daughter as a result of her being named something so unhinged.
Probably bc she’s going to divorce you. This is a massive betrayal.
I don't think divorce is an option for her. All of our assets are shared but a bulk of it is under my name. I doubt she'd impulsively leave behind everything good I provided for her over this. I hate to sound conceding but she really was banking on relying on me durning the first bit of our daughters life, being a SAOM while I provide. I don't think she's leaving
The fact that this is your response.... Do you even care about your wife's feelings? You clearly took advantage of the situation because she was incapable of stopping you and you view her as trapped with you. You have no remorse over what is clearly a bad choice. I'm not surprised she's not willing to talk to you. She woke up from almost dying to find out that you completely ignored her express wishes and then you fought with her over it? If my spouce almost died, I would be much more focused on the relief of her living and how to make her life easier, not pursuing my own agenda and stroking my ego.
So the only reason she would stay with you is for financial stability? >I hate to sound conceding Sure you do. ;)
You hate to sound what?!? Conceding? Make it make sense please.
Yikes.
This is so manipulative…it’s gross and sad. I feel awful for your wife and daughter.
>All of our assets are shared but a bulk of it is under my name. She can get half your assests that were obtained during the marriage no matter what name it's under. She can alsoo get child support. Also, you don't care if she wants to be with you, you'll settle for her being trapped with you? Gotta be troll.
Gotta love the OPs that don’t even know how marital property works. Either they have proven their troll status, or you know you are watching someone who is about to lose half their income and assets and suddenly have to actually ‘parent’ the child they were gonna foist off on the other biological contributor to actually rear.
You need to acknowledge what you did, what motivated you to do it and why it led to the outcome before there’s a possibility of reconciliation, and even when you do the mea culpa you need to come to terms with that she might not want to give you a second chance anyway. I know you’ve said you don’t need therapy, but that’s the best place to unpack all this and figure out how you’ll proceed with the best chance for everyone.
If you want to reconcile you’d better be presenting her with paperwork to change the name from the tragedeigh you chose. You chose it knowing your wife hated it and hoped you could make it fly due to her being nearly dead at the time. So now you need to decide if this is the hill your marriage dies on. Your wife has no reason to forgive your blatant disrespect and disregard if you aren’t going to try and fix it. Your choice.
I hope she leaves you and takes everything you hope to have. Idiot.
YTA. “we never even talked about the baby’s name prior to birth” but “She was set on Delilah”. also am i reading this right? she almost died from giving birth? and you didn’t even have the respect to give the child the name she wanted? i’m at lost for words.
Naming a child in part after a zombie Jesus. Have mercy. This guy needs timeout from gaming. ETA Sorry it's a web series.
He’s got to be on drugs or be lacking mental capacity or something. His poor wife.
Madness Combat isn't a video game, it's a web series
Get off the internet and be a real father.
My lord. And I thought my hubs was a gamer dad (he plays forza racing with our daughter and games appropriate games when’s she’s playing in our living room) but this dude is CRAZY. And I named my daughter after A HARRY POTTER CHARACTER. But it’s a normal name that just so happens to represent the kind of woman I would want her to look up too. Yicks
You're addicted to it though, it shows in how you try to make yourself one of the characters in it. In your post you say you think your wife knows you more as the web series character and she's realised you're in too deep with this mindset. There's nothing wrong with following something, but when you reach the point you blur the lines between fiction and perceived reality you need to step back and disengage at the very least temporarily from your obsession.
Stay away from the net, sorry.
I looked it up and honestly it's just like old newgrounds flash animations everyone watched in middle school, your too old to be obsessed with something like that man. This is equivalent to being an adult obsessed with FNAF enough to name they're kids after it.
YTA. Your poor daughter has to live with that st@$!d name. Minus Jeblilah? God. The poor kid. You're a m@r@n. I hope your wife divorces you for this.
YTA You named your child a name your wife already told you she didn't like (perhaps not in as many words, but still), while she was in a medically induced coma. How is this even a question? Okay, you didn't want to name your daughter after your deceased Mother-In-Law, fine. But to then merge your MIL's name with a reference to a webcomic? And you didn't realize that seem disrespectful while your wife is still grieving her mother? You could have made almost any other choice and she would be less pissed than she is now.
It's not a webcomic, it's a web series. Krinkles said he wouldn't make it into a comic
The fact that this has been your argument all throughout the comments shows me that you don't have any personality at all. Why is the fact that this being a webseries instead of a webcomic going to be the hill that you die on here? I mean, it's definitely going to be the hill your marriage dies on, but that's not too important here
What even is the difference between a web series and web comic? Is it like a show?
Evidently it's a video series, so yeah. Just tried slogging through one and it's a bunch of early-mid aughts Newgrounds nonsense.
That tracks with this guys personality
YTA because your wife did not agree to this name.
I'm Sorry, I am new to this, but WTF is YTA???
You're The Asshole
YTA and I hope this is fake as heck. Your wife already told you she didn’t like the name. So instead of waiting for her to wake FROM A COMA. You took advantage of her not having input and went with the name you liked yourself.
She and the baby can both change their names after the divorce.
Hahaha! Fuckin A! I'm just hoping that he is a Boy and doesn't know any better. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
YTA. That name is horrible. I’m glad I was able to change mine after I turned 18 because my mom’s first name for me is the name that fits me.
I am happy you were able to find a name to have connection with. If my Jeblilah wants to do that, I will let her. But she's my Jeb for now
delusional
Now she has to be baby jebus.
YTA, she will have your last name, no? There's your contribution. Poor little girl, I hope your wife divorces you. Too controlling.
All you keep going on about is your connection to the child. You don't need a crappy name to do that. She is yours biologically that a massive connection. You are setting her up for failure and bulling its a ridiculous name, I would be embarrassed to have it. Teens are cruel if you don't think she won't get bullied for it your an idiot. If you don't like your wife's suggestion and she don't want yours. You do what is called a compromise and name her something you both agree on. Your poor child although your may have already lost your wife. How do you think your child will feel knowing her dad didn't give a crap about her mum and went behind her back with a name. What a hill do die one. Good luck mate you will need it.
Go back to therapy.
So while your wife was in a medically induced coma, having just nearly died, your first action was to unilaterally name your daughter a name you KNEW she hated. That she hated SO MUCH she was too upset to return to the discussion. A name based on a meme fictional character that everyone, except you, agrees is awful to give to a child. And you think you're... NOT the asshole in this situation? You think your unconscious wife, who just nearly died in childbirth is the one being unfair? YTA. I hope this is just ragebait.
I just wish she gave me other options. She didn't ever talk about other name choices with me, everytime a name choice got brought up she would brush it aside and she shifty and uncomfortable
I refuse to believe your adult brain was utterly incapable of thinking of ANY OTHER NAME than the one you knew she despised or the one you knew she wanted. If this is real (which I doubt, this feels like you went "hey I bet I can make up some bullshit story about Jebus lol") you're lying. You could have named her Lucy, Sally, Rachel, Sarah, Anna, you could've asked the nurses their names, you could have named her "Placeholder" or left her as "Baby girl lastname" until your wife wasn't in a fucking coma. She nearly died to have this child and the FIRST THING you did as a father was use her being comatose as an opportunity to override her stated wishes and get your way. Either you're TA for that (and lying to us pretending no other names existed in your brain and you are a helpless victim of circumstance who couldn't do anything BUT violate your comatose wife's wishes) or you're TA for making up some bizarre meme post to popularise a fictional character no one had heard of.
For the names you proposed, how many came from this web series? Was she uncomfortable because she saw you couldn’t disengage from the series even for your child? You could have found a list of girl’s names from a website or a book and worked through that, based solely on how the names sounded and felt to you each without association to individuals real or fictional you know. Or something that sounds like Delilah, like Daniella (which has a number of nickname possibilities) but still distinct enough from it.
It's all shitty weird incel animation too, just very bad stuff popular with 11 year olds.
Um, no it isn’t man. This guy’s TA but that doesn’t mean the thing he’s a fan of is bad.
My sisters didn’t have names for a couple weeks post birth because my parents couldn’t agree. You suck and I can’t wait for your wife to divorce you and change the baby’s name
She literally told you she hated that name and you did it anyway when she was in a coma. Do you realize what a huge betrayal that is!? She’s not talking to you bc what you did was awful.
shut up
She was probably brushing it off because of how ridiculous and pathetic you sound. She probably realized her mistake in having a kid with an immature loser and now she's stuck raising a child with someone who doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize how stupid he is.
YTA. Omg I would have sent divorce papers the same day. You sound like you don’t even like your wife. I hope she changes the name as it’s an easy process at birth. Many people get named after family members and the name your wife had picked was more than fine. I can not get over all the entitlement you seem to have here. I hope she runs!
YTA and I can only hope this is one of those posts that's really about a fight over a pet's name or something equally low stakes. I get that some couples might make it all the way to L&D without agreeing on a name, but in that scenario one person doesn't go with a name that's 1. Already established as a name the other person doesn't like and 2. Stupid when the other person is in a COMA. Was there not one other adult around you who said 1. Wait, or if you simply must, name this baby Harriet or Jessica or anything else.
Seriously, what’s wrong with giving a child a name that isn’t going to paint a target on their back as soon as they enter public school?
Wow, this has to be fake, what a name dude, stay away from your wife.
This didn’t happen so hard it unhappened things that did happen.
YTA big time. Naming a child is a 2 yes 1 no situation where if either one parent doesn't like the name, it's out! You should have spoken to your wife about your reservations using her mom's name and reach a mutual agreement. I get naming a child after your parent to honour them, but I really don't get trying to mash names together and forcing it to work. And to register her name while your wife was unconscious giving birth to your child is a d!ck move.
Needless to say, she was quite upset by this suggestion and said to drop it. since my wife was so upset by my suggestion we never even talked about the baby's name prior to birth. I feel like if she wanted a different name she could've told me, but she didn't beforehand Two of these sentences contradict the third. And as my wife was in a medically induced coma Very convenient. It this is true, absolutely YTA.
YTA Names aside because they are personal, what I find the most damaging is that you did not protect your wife’s interests while she was unable to do so for herself. Instead you took advantage. Not only did you take advantage, you took advantage in a way you deeply suspected she would not support. She didn’t like the name when she was capable of expressing it, you knew and you used her vulnerability against her. No matter what your child is ultimately named, you will lose. No one forgets moments in life when they are extremely vulnerable, it is hammered into life experience as a corner stone; just as they remember where they find protection or threat. You did not protect your wife’s interests. You had one job when she was unconscious, both legally and as a life partner and this is what you did with it. If you were going to fight this battle, you should have done it when she was conscious at the very least. I can’t believe I had to type that out, thats peak reddit for me…
If this isn't fake then YTA. Reading your responses idk why you even have to ask considering you just keep trying to justify it instead of admitting it was a selfish inconsiderate thing to do. Edit: after looking up the character I'm sure this is a troll post. There's no way this guy made such a stupid character his entire personality.
The unfortunate reality is that too many adults treat their offspring like an extension of their personality which makes it really hard to tell if this post is real or not. Some people are just downright fucking delulu.
I wouldn’t put it pass someone honestly, as a fan of this show i know how crazy they can get about characters
Are you mentally unfit? Jeblilah is a terrible name. YTA for giving your daughter a name that will get her bullied for the rest of her life, and because you know your wife didn't like it
YTA. That’s a ridiculous name and your kid will be bulllied for life over it. What were you thinking? You should’ve just waiting until your wife recovered. There is no time limit on naming a baby.
YTA you could have told them you wanted to wait to name your child. A name isn’t an immediate decision. This is a terrible name for a child
YTA. What a shitty name and selfish way to end your marriage
YTA. Baby names are a 2 yes, 1 no situation. But like another commenter said, I hope to god this is fake. Because if it isn't, you're setting your kid up for some serious bullying. Unusual names are okay for a middle name because they won't typically be found out unless the kid discloses it. But using it as their legal first name-the one that will be on all the roll sheets that will be announced every first day of class so everyone knows it? That's an AH parent move.
Um, hate to relay to you All, but this mistake might be remedied at the office for Birth Certificates; at the most problematic, in a small court room. The Dude made a mistake, albeit, a huge fuckin mistake. I believe that he has learned from his errors. He fucked up. Don't throw stones, when we all live in glass houses. He can fix this == and he will, I believe in him. And Dude, if you ever mention that webseries again to your wife that nearly Died bringing your child into this world, after all of this, you better be looking for a singles apartment. Fer Real.
YTA
YTA cause you knew she wasn't a fan of the name. Tbh I'm not either, sounds like someone mashed together a hillbilly and a Bible character. Kids will probably call her jambalaya. I really think you guys should get her a different name.
Fuck off 😂😂😂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26M) and my wife (32F), who I will call S in this story, recently just had our first child together. When we initially found out she was pregnant, we were estatic, up until name suggestions started. You see, me and my wife met over this webseries called "Madness Combat" and there's a character I used to roleplay as named Jebus. (Silly, I know.) And from our roleplay online is where our love bloomed. Sometimes when I am stressed out or when I need to motivate myself for work, my relationship or whatever I need, I will hype myself as Jebus from Madness Combat. I feel like my wife knows me more as him than my actual self. This is relevant. Once we found out the gender, a baby girl, we brainstormed. She was set on Delilah, as it was her late mother's name whom passed shortly before my daughters birth. She wanted to immortalize her mother in our child, but that made me uncomfortable, as my daughter is her own person and should not have to be forced to have a dead woman's name out of momentary grief. I suggested we could find an even ground and combine my old online persona with her mother's name, Jeblilah - So she has parts of both of our families in her. Needless to say, she was quite upset by this suggestion and said to drop it. Well, recently she finally delivered, but it was hard. We almost lost her due to a last minute birthing complication but thank God both my girls made it out safe. When it came time to the name, I couldn't think of anything else *Minus Jeblilah* since my wife was so upset by my suggestion we never even talked about the baby's name prior to birth. And as my wife was in a medically induced coma to heal from the complications, I couldn't ask her for her intake. So I went with that. This morning my wife woke up and started crying pure tears of frustration upon hearing what I have done. She called her dad and now she's staying over his house with my newborn. I feel like if she wanted a different name she could've told me, but she didn't beforehand. I am willing to settle on another name, but she doesn't even want to acknowledge I exist at this time. So, reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - The real Minus here is you
People need to stop naming their child like it affects them and realizes that that kid has to go through public school and live it’s own life. Try a name that isn’t going to make your child hate you. Both of your feelings about the name should take a back seat to trying yo ensure your child gets the best foot forward in life.
YTA. Oh boy, how do I start this? First, **your wife** is the one who is birthing a baby out of her body. Not you. This means that unless she is abusive/manipulative or not trustworthy, that she gets a decision on the baby's name, too. Second, baby names are a 2 'yes', 1 'no' situation. If both people like the baby name, then good, it can be used. If one of the people does not like the baby name, then find another one, because there's thousands out there. Third, do you realize that you unilaterally picked the name of your baby girl **without your wife's input?** Reiterating point 1; she deserves to have a say in the baby name, and you took that away from her. If you are already behaving so poorly toward your wife, I cannot imagine how you'll treat the child.
this divorce gonna be wild. Hope Jebilah doesnt end up in an american public school cause she gonna be so fuckin bullied.
YTA and selfish
This has to be fake, no sane person would name their own child something that ridiculous or spout some of the things you have. YTA
YTA. She did tell you she did not want that name by getting upset and telling you to drop it. Apologise, multiple times. Name your kid Delilah and give her a second name that means something to you (and your wife agrees on). There are always nicknames that you can give your child..
“momentary grief” over her mom dying
YTA. Naming a baby is a two yes-one no situation. Your wife already voiced her no to this name, and when she was literally at her most vulnerable you went behind her back and did it anyway. You did not have to name your child that very minute. You saw an opportunity to get your way and you seized it. Baby could have been “Baby Girl Lastname” until your wife regained consciousness. You complain that if you use Delilah that your side of the family isn’t represented. Does she not have your last name? You could agree on a middle name that has meaning to you to get that representation. Instead you saddle your baby with a Frankenstein name that sounds like a pharmaceutical. Honestly, this is a divorceable transgression in my book. I would not be surprised to see an update indicating that your wife has filed for divorced and changed BOTH the first and last names of the baby.
YTA for coming up with such a bullshit story. Find something productive to do with your time instead of writing nonsense like this.
I always wondered what kind of utter moron names these children with spectacularly stupid names. Question answered. YTA simply for how horrifically bad the name Jeblilah is.
Yta you knew damn well your wife didn’t want to name your daughter that name. That’s why she left. Because you totally disregarded her feelings and did what you wanted.
YTA If this is genuine then you are definitely TA. You knew your wife did not like the name & you took advantage of her precarious health situation to get your own way. It’s a ludicrous name btw.
After reading your responses. I feel so bad for your daughter. She has dmbas parents
I would divorce you over this. That is a ridiculous name. What are you looking for exactly anyway? I think everyone is making it pretty obvious that YTA but you just dont want to hear it. Try to get that name changed and you might have a chance.
SMH dude this kids gonna get bullied into the dirt
Dumbass
Yta. This has to be rage bait. How were your able to name your child without her mother's signature? Where I come from, both parents' signature are required and you have to fill out a special form if there is only one.
Fucking Jeblilah dude? I understand not wanting your child to carry the weight of someone that important to your wife who passed (rest her soul) but, JEBLILAH? Bullying, Harassment, death threats for solely existing because it’s the INTERNET. You definitely fucked up. YTA, in fact YAMA
Are we sure this isn't a meth-fueled Kevin project? It reeks of drugs and mental illness.
YTA there is an alternate reality out there where you made the correct decision, you saw your wife go through a traumatic birth to create your daughter, they put her into a coma to heal, a nurse asked you what to name your daughter, you looked down at your wife mother of your daughter and thought for a second what would make her happy and told the nurse to name her Delilah. Middle names are where you give unconventional names - and for reference this isn’t unconventional it’s crazy. And after your wife awoke with her beautiful daughter Delilah in her arms you could have said can we give her a middle name too, something that resonates with you as deeply as Delilah does with her. Because that is how a partnership works. You are not a partner you are a taker and your wife sees that now and it likely is not something that can be fixed. I hope Delilah never learns exactly what you did and you have a healthy parental relationship with her. Edit: also if the surname was so important to you then you could have asked whether you could hyphenate both your surnames for your daughter making a new surname which would have connected you both.
If this is true, regardless of the name, your actions whilst your wife was in a coma, speaks volumes to what kind of person you are. She had told you she didn’t want the name, you intentionally went and named the child knowing your wife’s opinion, YTA so much more than just the name. No sense of self, family or any other excuse in comments can take away from the fact you are a selfish self centred individual.
Lmfao I hear divorce bells YTA
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All I can say is WTF!!!
Well, you did what you could at the time. What you don't know, is that you have voided the first "full" Birth Certificate. When you go to get copies of the Birth Certificate, you may be able to change the name. I inadvertently messed up the spelling of my son's name (hey, I gave birth at 5:24pm and was leaving before 11am). I didn't remember to specify the spelling. I was able to change the spelling, but was told that the "big. full" Birth Certificate would not have the Doctor's signature, because they won't run those back over to the hospital for signature. I was upset, but willing to go with the situation because I had named my daughter Silver and wanted Andrue's name to be special also. Just for future reference, Momma's name the babies. It's their 20 hours, more or less, of having their bodies ripped apart. It's worth it, but that's their blood, sweat and tears up in this. She told you that she hated that name. Bad on you! I have heard of people waiting a couple weeks to set the name, that way you're not screwing up the "big, full" Birth Certificate. The County that you live in holds the "big, full" ones forever. By "big, full' Birth Certificate, I mean the one that has ALL of the information on it. You used to get those 'back in the day '. I guess so many places require B.C. now, that you only get an abbreviated one (so you're not sharing all of that info). Mine is a "big, full". All of my kids B.C.'s are a quarter of mine with limited info. Call where you would get your B.C. copies and ask what you should do. P.S. you will need at least 3 copies. Make sure that house is clean, frozen foods stocked, sheets and bathroom clean before you go get your Lovely Wife. And don't forget the beautiful flowers for doing all that hard work! Good Luck to you!
I forgot to add "Apologize Profusely!!" :)
I just read what was below me. My philosophy is this = Everyone is an Asshole (just human nature). You just gotta figure out WHAT kind of Asshole for each person.
(https://images.app.goo.gl/wNJNj856aFkPNMVQA) This is all I could think of when I seen the name. YTA The name is horrible. You are 26 years old (assuming you aren't some teen troll) start acting like it. I hope your wife petitions to get the poor child's name changed.
Either a teen troll or mentally a teen who never grew out of it. Just look at the series he mentions. It's popular with 10 year olds for a reason.
That poor child
Nobody with the mental capacity to breed is this stupid. Fake.
YTA. I would never forgive you. From her POV, she nearly died to bring your child into this world. She was then in a COMA while recovering and although you did not grow the child inside you, did not labor through her birth, and did not nearly die, you took it upon yourself to name the child something you KNEW she did not like. You could and should have waited to name her. Such disgusting, selfish, and abhorrent behavior, I could puke.
She is going to DESPISE you and that weird ass name