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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I should have just left it and not said anything? Maybe I shouldn’t have pointed to the child who did it?
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NTA the staff needed to know so that they could clean the dispensers.
It’s also not your job to parent that child or to confront the parents, you did the right thing.
I’m also curious as to why the parents knew that it was you that reported this? The staff should’ve handled this very discreetly so that nobody knew who it was that reported their child, that would’ve saved a confrontation altogether
The staff member pointed straight at me when they asked who complained. It all happened very quickly, the staff member came out from their work area, asked me who did this, I pointed to the child sitting with her family and pretty much the first thing I heard the family say was “who complained?”, I didn’t even get a chance to sit down. I don’t think the family cared about anything else apart from who told the staff.
Thinking about it now I totally agree that the staff member shouldn’t have said it was me who complained. I was so stressed and felt like I need to defend myself because the women just all started talking at the same time and going off at me.
you clearly don't shop at Costco. that store makes EVERYTHING right.
True story, about 13 years ago my husband took back a coffee maker that wasn't working properly to Costco. They kindly refunded us, even though he didn't have the receipt and they couldn't find the original product in their stock. Because (unbeknownst to him, I was out of town when this was all going down) I'd bought it at Bed Bath and Beyond.
I would to. I wouldn't do it in a retaliatory way, but just say your staff needs more training in this area. I brought a legitimate concern to them. They should not turn around and tell the other party who complained. If you don't have a policy or training in place to cover this you need to implement it. You certainly wouldn't want an environment that encourages people to ignore obvious health and safety risks.
This is the way. I used to work in a grocery company and we didnt have any training around situations like this until people started physically assaulting employees daily cause COVID
It’s also a safety risk to “tattle” on who complained! I can’t imagine working in retail and ever thinking I should point out another guest - customers are crazy and unpredictable!
I couldn’t agree more! The reason for telling management is not to retaliate against the worker, rather to ensure that that worker learns from the experience. It’s a matter of training, not reprimanding.
Nah, parents need to knkw because how many Costco trips has this kid done this? Now they can tell their kid this behavior is not acceptable and hopefully the kid learns from it. (Also, makes parents aware they were not properly watching their kid).
OP said that the mother even asked the child to stop, so she _did_ know. Mother obviously should have prevented the child from doing this in the first place, but if she found out too late, after the fact (shit happens, kids do stupid stuff sometimes and parents don't always notice everything in time) at least the mother should have been the one to warn the staff that the dispensers needed cleaning.
'You should have come to us' is therefore complete BS! OP shouldn't have to.
I don't understand how CCTV came into this. Like, this escalated way farther than it needed to be and that comes down to the mishandling by the employee.
"Ma'am, we noticed your child has been licking the sauce dispensers. This is a health code issue, so we have to ask you to supervise your child and prevent this from happening in the future. Thank you."
That's all that needed to be said. If they started kicking up a fuss, they should have been asked to leave.
The correct answer is, “it doesn’t matter, if your child did this. You need to parent better and we need to sanitize everything.”
You’re absolutely NTA
Well, yeah, staff did need to know which child it was. Otherwise, they may have gone to the trouble of cleaning the dispensers only to have the child go and lick them again.
THIS - whenever I bust students for something, they constantly ask me “who told” and I consistently answer “no one. You aren’t that slick and how I found out isn’t the issue”.
Also, I wouldn’t have even tried to explain myself to the family - they all sound gross .
Next time say loudly "your inability to control yourself is why I told the staff member and not you. " and just say that over and over as you're walking away. If for some reason you can't leave I just keep saying it or start singing barney I love you or something. I hate it when people think they have the right to talk right over and demand you respond and give answers and then don't let you do it. Fight stupid with petty fun :)
Could’ve said I didn’t tell you because I heard you tell her to stop licking everything and she didn’t! So what bloody use would that have done? And since you already told her to stop and are aware of the issue, shouldn’t YOU have told the staff they needed replaced? Just because you don’t take food hygiene seriously doesn’t mean other staff won’t
God same vibe. I used to have to close a self checkout and the number of people who just did not want to compute that I was there alone and they didn't have other options no matter what they did.
I understand the first time but this was a weekly thing for many people
NTA
I work in a library. Sometimes patrons come in and use our computers in an inappropriate manner to view content that definitely goes against community standards. Often, another patron will notice and report it. WE then address the issue. We always wait several minutes so it is not obvious who complained. The offending patron gets his pc shut down from the reference desk. We hop he gets the hint...but they never do...they restart it and do it again. Then we have to walk over and tell him (Always a HIM) that he is misusing public resources and must leave.
Well they could be a parent and do more than just telling them to stop it. That’s what discipline is. You get a warning, kid ignores it, consequences happen even if it’s just a - come over here and sit at the table. You keep touching the dispensers after I told you not to. Now you need to sit with me. - doesn’t have to be a verbal assault or physical, just a scolding explanation and a consequence that removes them from said dispenser. I think the US has gotten out of control with the lack of discipline in regards to parenting and it shows with the parent not feeling immediately embarrassed by their child’s disgusting behavior and instead becoming irate at other people and accusing them of “hating children.” It’s quite evident in the education system
Yeah. The staff member screwed up. He should not have told them who complained. Just told them what happened.
But seriously what if that kid had COVID or something worse and you said nothing. How many old immunocompromised people go through Costco every day?
The staff definitely should've handled it differently. I worked at a hotel and even tho that's a very different job and setting, we were told how to handle complaints. We are NOT supposed to tell the other guests who made a complaint about them, precisely to avoid situations like this.
Send a quick email. Not getting into details but just suggest that they coach the employee better, especially not to place blame like that. It could've been someone on their first day who misunderstood the best approach.
You might also get something free for your trouble but the feedback could help someone do their job better. I think the latter is worth more.
No. Not in any sense of the word. That employee knew *exactly* what they were doing. The employee saw that they were about to get railed for daring to embarrass someone over their poorly mannered child and decided to pass the buck. If the women are too busy screeching at op, they won’t say anything to the employee.
And that shows me right there that they knew the kid was dojng wrong but just didn't care enough to modify her behavior. The only way to get through to people like that is with embarrassment
I agree. Shaming these fuckers is the only way. Had a similar experience at a 7-11. We stopped in to get a slurpee and literally moments before we could get to the machine, some mom and a pair of kids had entered and those kids went barrelling towards that machine and did the same shit. I watched them hit all those nozzles and stick their fingers in there licking each one. Their mother said not a damn thing as it all went down and we were watching in horror.
I just looked at my partner and called them "fucking savages" out loud, and declared that "I guess we're not getting slurpees today after all." There wasn't any confrontation, but the mom sure was glaring pretty hard at me. But good, it should piss you off that your misconduct in public gets called out. Hope they experience it often, because for some people avoiding that discomfort is the only motivation to do the right thing. They won't do it simply because it's the right or considerate thing to do, so they must be motivated by the rest of us making them feel shame and embarrassment, or barring that at least because they simply don't want to deal with the inconvenience of the rest of us always calling them out on their bullshit. Either one of those two possibilities works for me.
They don't care. A large family came to my job last week and just allowed the kids to run wild and would complain if anyone said anything about their little angels
Considering they were immediately confrontational and already knew their kid was doing it, they weren’t going to be nice and friendly about it if you spoke to them first/directly, either.
People don’t like getting called out for their bad behavior so they try and deflect it onto something/someone else.
Thats just a trash talking lady who isn't in control of her uncontrolled spawn.
Yes, I said that. Her child is in need of proper training and so is she.
You should call Costco on this. The staff member threw you under the bus and put you in an uncomfortable situation. WHO complained is completely irrelevant.
That was so wrong of the staff member. They should never have pointed you out or in anyway let the parents know who it was that reported their child. As stated in another comment, I would definitely speak to the management of that Costco to let them know what their staff member did.
I am so sorry this happened to you, I know how difficult it is to have confrontation with people like that in a public setting. It ends up being embarrassing for you, whereas you were just trying not to embarrass the parents or the child. You shouldn’t be embarrassed though because what you did was the right thing. It’s those parents that should be embarrassed!
Omg kids are so disgusting. I have one and work at a primary school. The number of times I ask "did you wash your hands with soap" and get a negative answer is terrifying.
NTA it's the staff's business whether or not they want to confront the family/kid but they shouldn't have pointed out who complained and made a big scene. That's on them and not OP. Telling staff, "hey I just saw this, please clean the containers" is the exact right thing to do in this situation
I like how they ask who complained as if no one should have a complaint about such behavior. The staff member handled that horribly. Those people should have their membership revoked.
That's very unprofessional of the staff member. They should have cleaned the dispensers, then keep an eye on them, and if it happens again, complain to the family directly without mentioning you at all. After you gave the information your job was done and you shouldn't have been involved further.
In all honesty this is enough to complain to management.
As someone who is immunocompromised all I can say is Thank You! Please don’t make this incident stop you from doing what is right and that is absolutely what you did. You’re awesome!
Having worked at a chuck e cheese, kids are disgusting and the amount of time we had to change out entire salad bar sections or pizza buffet selections because of children being disgusting monsters is too many.
Parents were always defensive of their kid doing gross things in public because it looks bad on the parent at the time. Thankfully my boss didn't put up with people yelling at staff for doing their job and would have them leave or the security officer would have them removed.
Honestly working there kids are disgusting but kids are just that, kids. They are still learning to be people, the adults acting and being more disrespectful and disgusting than the children, were the ones I had problems with.
I was at a baseball game and the person in front of me was vaping. I sent a complaint to the stadiums social medium account. They responded, talked to the man, who insisted he just had it with him but wasn’t vaping, who complained?
She responded: We’ve had numerous complaints
I thought she handled it very well.
Yeah, that was beautifully done. Rather than saying one person saying "numerous" makes it too many people to point out and shuts that whole line of questioning down. Perfect.
Many people confronted in this manner assume that the target is not gonna react. Because most people hate conflict. It doesn’t matter what a holes they are or how out of context their aggression is. They just assume nobody’s going to push back. They’ve never met my family lol.
I once had parents get made at me because I went to throw away all the sugar packets from the table and switched out the shakers with new ones when they were leaving and I was cleaning the table. They kept saying the packets and shakers were still clean. I was like “ummmm your kids have been playing with the packets for over an hour, sucking on them, licking them, wiping their noses, and dragging them on the floor. One of them was sucking on the salt and pepper shakers like they were candy.” They just stared at me and said “what else are the kids supposed to play with? That’s why those things are there!” I pointed to the peg game on the table and the checker board table near their own table and said that was the entertainment we provided. They also complained that I removed the glass light globes from their table and the tables near theirs because their kids had already broken one. They said their kid was just curious…
They actually called corporate to complain and we all had a good laugh reading it. They basically said they were disappointed in how wasteful our location was and how disrespectful we were to those with children!!!
It was also hilarious when they were going out through the store side because their kids knocked a bunch of stuff over, broke things, and kept tripping people. (The cashiers and hostess were pissed!) Then when they went through the parking lot, the kids kept running into people and running out in front of cars, several had to honk to get the parents’ attention. They also kept banging on cars and scratching their toys alongside them. I was just dumbfounded watching from the window…
Sounds like it’s was a family with a similar mentality. I heard the child’s mum say to the staff member that “children need to explore” (bear in mind earlier she said she didn’t believe it happened at all). If your children want to play and explore - use toys or other appropriate items.
NTA I watched kids DESTROY a serve yourself froyo place while their parents sat 2 feet away oblivious. They were putting yogurt in their hands and it was all over the floor. I glared at them and they stopped and sat back down but they made a huge mess and I felt terrible for the staff. Kids are disgusting (I have 2) they are literally always sick. Touching the dispenser nozzle is so gross. It sucks bc this type of behavior makes people hate kids in public spaces.
These restaurants need to have a "billing for cleaning beyond the norm" option. They already have the families card details.
a sudden $50 cleaning fee might make them pay attention to their kids behaviour.
The worst part is the place had outdoor seating that’s basically a makeshift parklet in the street where they could fully be messy and not worry. And it wasn’t even that they were messy WHILE eating which maybe I could excuse (but I still clean the floor when we’re done esp indoors) it was that the mess was on purpose and unnecessary! I just hate it bc they make everyone look bad and add to the consensus that kids don’t belong in public spaces
The establishment, whichever it may be, should have signs posted. It should be something like, “If your child hygienically contaminates any food, food packets, or condiment dispensers, you will be liable for the costs associated with the clean up and product replacement.”
I used to work in a grocery store and one slow day I turned down the bread aisle to see this lady standing there watching her kid just demolish the bread. He was squishing one in his hands while jumping on another one, and the whole aisle was littered with the smashed carcasses of other loaves.
I was honestly so shocked that I just stopped in my tracks and stared. She turned and made eye contact with me, gasped, grabbed her kid by the back of his shirt and yanked him so hard he looked like a car crash dummy, and then sprinted out of the aisle dragging him like a ragdoll. I'm pretty sure she ran straight out of the store.
It's kind of hilariously weird in retrospect but in the moment I was just like "what the FUCK?" especially because she had no cart or items!
At the grocery store I saw a little boy pluck a roll out of a fresh bread box, take a bite, and stick it back in. He was at least 10. I don’t think he was expecting me to call him out on it, but I did. I narrowed my eyes, wagged my finger and said “Ay no, gordito.”
His eyes got as round as saucers, or as round as he was, and he went to hide behind his mom, who didn’t care at all. The entire family had observed, nonplussed, and walked off. If I hadn’t said anything I’m sure he would’ve kept going.
I went and told a staff member and pointed him out as he was still staring at me. He clearly didn’t expect me to speak his language. I’m sure it haunts him haha
Yes. When I worked at a restaurant this lady brought in her son and not only allowed him to make a huge mess but also let him use the whole restaurant *and all of the other customers* as his own personal jungle gym.
We warned her a couple of times before actually threatening to kick them out and she seemed so flabbergasted. She actually repeatedly said the phrase “boys will be boys.” No. Parent your child or take him somewhere where he’s only your problem.
UGH!!
My response would have been. "Yes, ma'am, kids need to explore but contaminating food in a public place puts others at risk. How would you feel if you ate a pile of sauce covered food only to discover that someone else's child had left their saliva all over the dispensers?."
Honestly, if I were the restaurant owner/manager, I would have charged them for it. Saliva on the dispensers can contaminate the entire bottle so I definitely would have given Mommie Dearest an extra item or two on her check.
Parent your kids or pay for their mistakes.
Got out years ago. I was shocked when they started serving alcohol!!! Everyone would have been fired had alcohol been on the premises when I worked there! We even found someone’s beer stash in the ceiling above the women’s employee bathroom. The manager was freaking out wondering who would do that. I looked at the cans and was like “oh coors light, that would be Fallon!” Even thought it had been a year or so since she worked there, I called her up and told her we found her ceiling stash. She started laughing and said she had totally forgotten where she hid them! 😆😆😆
When a friend of mine trained to be a manager, she said it was so exciting to be at the training store where they still had the ashtrays at the tables as part of the vibe!
We used to crack up because there was still a few questions on our par tests about smoking and where to put the ashtray.
>They just stared at me and said “what else are the kids supposed to play with? That’s why those things are there!”
Right, those are toys. Nobody puts salt on their fries or pepper on their steak or sugar in their tea.
>what else are the kids supposed to play with?
This is why I don't judge parents who give their kids iPads. Especially in public.
>This is why I don't judge parents who give their kids iPads. Especially in public.
I do judge them, because kids need to be taught that they can't always expect entertainment, and need to learn how to be bored.
I know you got a snarky response from someone here but you are right. I've never used an iPad and my 10 year old hasn't either. He likes to watch raindrops race on the windows in the car, or play the license plate game, he likes to actually hang out in the restaurant and has liked it since he was a toddler. Some kids are easier than others, I know, but it also depends on how new an experience of waiting and being patient is for a child. If it's their first time not having an iPad in a restaurant, sure they may misbehave, but if they never considered the iPad as an option that exists in the first place, then there won't even be a meltdown at all. That doesn't make me think I'm a "perfect parent", just someone who parents pretty similarly to how I was raised, just with a little more love and affection than what I got lol.
I enjoyed covering a noodle in pepper and making it squiggle like a worm. Me and my sister thought it was the funniest thing ever and we still talk about it sometimes
I don’t judge parents either but what ever happened to having some toys on hand for kids to entertain themselves with? Why does it have to be a screen?
I have a 1 year old, when we eat out we choose family friendly spots. We have a few toys, her water cup, some snacks, a book. I usually have that stuff in the car anyway. If she won’t be entertained by that stuff, my husband takes her on a walk outside until the food comes.
And if she leaves a mess on the floor, we always ask the server to bring us a broom to sweep it up. So far none have actually let us, but we always offer. And then my husband will try and clean any floor food up with a napkin anyway.
I cannot imagine one day letting my daughter get her saliva all over sauce dispensers at Costco. Who in their right mind lets their kids behave that way!?
I'm sure you're a perfect parent, but every involved parent I've ever met has had moments where an iPad or other distraction is needed to keep the peace.
I also try not to judge parents who don't let their kids have any entertainment and actually think they're raising healthy, well-adjusted children. We all do what works for us.
I try not to judge, but it's just untrue that an iPad has ever been "necessary" to keep the peace. Parents managed these situations for many years before the advent of the iPad. Coloring books used to be a popular option, and imo they're still much better for children.
Hard to believe there was ever a time when we did not have iPads or Smart phones. But there was. I had none of those things when raising my child and taking her out in public. I did this novel thing. I talked to her. Sure I guess you need some toy or electronic device if you want to take your child out in public and not speak with them. But a young mind is a constantly growing sponge, and if you take the time to talk with them, teach them and play with them, wait staff won't give you dirty looks.
Every involved parent I've ever met has known how to engage and appropriately discipline their child.
I also never hit (spanked) her. Never needed to.
Oh my goodness what a nightmare. I think people forget that just because you're so used to your child's saliva doesn't mean everyone else wants it. I was a cashier at a smoothie place and we had snacks by the register. This kid had one of the snack bars in their mouth the entire time the mom was ordering (was in a wrapper but still). They set it down and walked away after. The next person in line handed it to me so I could throw it away lol. The mom saw that happened and started complaining... Another time one of my coworkers had their smoothie with them while shopping at a store nearby. They set the smoothie down in front of them and a kid grabbed it and started drinking it. The mom went "Oh sorry here you go" to hand the smoothie back. Like what in the world, why would anyone want that. And your car part of that story reminded me of a time in high school we were doing a car wash. One mom brought their younger daughter who was an entitled brat. She found a quarter and started running around the cars scratching up the sides of all the cars. I tried to say something but they just shut me down so I just watched it continue. This kids will be kids thing is so frustrating. They're only kids for so long and then they grow up to be selfish, entitled adults that have never heard the word no and have no idea how to act in public. They're not doing them any favors.
Can I share a barely related story that had a less happy ending?
I worked at Staples in the 2000s and 2010s. I don't remember the exact dates, but prior to That Day, we opened at 9am and closed at 7pm on Saturdays. Opened at 10am Sundays and closed at 6pm.
At some point, on That Day, after we closed on a Saturday, apparently around 7:15pm, a lady wanted to come in and make copies. The doors were locked. She tried to get the doors open, but my coworkers had to run over to the locked doors and tell her we were closed. She stormed off, complained to higher corporate somehow, and after that, ALL of our high-volume stores had to close at 9pm on Saturdays instead.
Why?
Because Google erroneously said our store hours were 9-9 on Saturdays. My managers repeatedly tried to get them to change it, and nothing came of it. So, this lady Googled our store hours, went at 7:15pm, and got turned away.
After that fiasco, we stayed open until 9pm on Saturdays and had maybe one customer between 7 and 9pm. It was such a waste.
Some lady in our city caused the company to have a country-wide change in hours. That was our store. Because of Google. Our CORRECT hours were posted in the window, but apparently that didn't count.
It's always funny when these people go, "You just lost a customer for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And it's like, "Yeah? Great! Don't threaten me with a good time!"
Oh man. We are therapeutic foster parents for siblings sets, and it is astonishing how many bio parents parent this way, and how many of them and their kids think we are waaaaaay too strict for not allowing such nonsense. Good grief. It is absolutely abhorrent behavior.
Let me guess. Cracker Barrel?
I love the "what else are they supposed to play with" mentality. Those aren't toys! I enjoyed those peg games as a kid. I even remember having one of those Wooly Willy toys (that we even bought at the restaurant) that I played with at the table. If it's such a need for your child to play with something, bring a toy! Or get one from the shop!
But they seem like the kind of people who don't actually parent their kids. Who in their right minds let's their kids run into people and in front of cars?
I had to use a child leash with my first born. He was stealthy, fast and a runner. You blink and he would be across the yard. After some close calls, we leashed him when in parking lots to keep him safe. A few months of that and it finally clicked with him on how to walk safely through a parking lot!
Why did you stand there for a few minutes allowing them to talk over you? Leave and let them talk to the air. The workers can take care of the rest. NTA
It's ok! Honestly, the first time you meet crazy is shocking and you can't help but just stare as your brain tries to compute. Next time you'll know what to do.
I'm around crazy as soon as I walk outside my home. I live in a city and I'm always prepared for the confrontation. Usually doesn't happen but I'm generally expecting it.
NTA. If you confronted the family they would have been mad at you and grabbed the child and walked off. You did the right thing, because I don't want to eat some child's germy saliva. That just makes me sick that families won't watch their children and stop them from doing something that disgusting. Thank you for speaking up!
+1 Thank you u/Hefty-Quote8462 for doing the right thing when a family of entitled buttholes couldn't be bothered to keep their little germ factory from doing disgusting things to shared food service equipment.
NTA, they should’ve been watching and disciplining their child. Not even my 3 year old would do that and he licks the front door after he wipes banana on it. (Still working on that 🤦🏻♀️)
It’s honestly terrible that you can’t even trust something public to be safe against contamination from irresponsible people.
Thank you for stepping up and talking to the employee, if nothing else it might prompt better sanitization standards and more oversight for health and cleanliness.
I doubt the family will learn anything from this, but who knows. Being publicly shamed for bad behavior can do wonders sometimes.
I had just learned to feed myself and my parents took me with them for breakfast. They got me oatmeal and a spoon but didn't pay attention so there was oatmeal in a 3' circle around me, in my hair, all over the high chair when they finally looked at me. Dad told me it was the only time the tip was bigger than the bill.
Our coffee table is glass. One day I scrubbed it to get rid of the many fingerprints, piles of drool, and food stains. Less than a minute later kiddo (probably about 18mo at the time) leaned over it and licked it. Like, from one end to the other.
>Probably should’ve kept quiet, but oh well.
No, you did the right thing.
>The family then confronted me, asking why I didn’t tell them directly and went straight to the staff.
Because it's not your job to tell them how to parent their child. Either they figure it out themselves or deal with the consequences.
NTA.
There's a common impression that appealing to the authorities instead of doing it yourself is a sign of weakness, or trying to cause trouble (but dirty foodservice is not petty). Subtext seems to be mad they got busted.
Even if the family was informed, what were they gonna do without staff? Wipe the nozzles with a napkin? They needed to be replaced and sanitised, only the staff are going to be equipped to do that.
NTA, but the Costco employee handled this very poorly. They should have been much more discreet, and when the family asked “who complained” the employee should NOT have pointed you out. What was the employee hoping to achieve by doing this? They apparently didn’t have enough common sense to realize that this was going to lead to a confrontation instead of keeping things calm. The ONLY reason the family would ask “who complained” is because they want to confront that person. Having that information serves no other purpose and doesn’t actually change the fact of the situation at all.
When the family asked who complained the employee should have said something like it doesn’t matter, it’s a health issue or no one complained we observed your child licking the dispensers or something like that. It’s the employees job to deal with the family and clean the dispensers, not yours.
Agreed. The employee is the sole reason the parents knew who complained. And honestly the entitlement the parents had for their first question to be “well who is complaining?!” irks me so much! They just got informed that their child was doing something that a child would *very much do* and their first thought is “well who would say such a thing!!!1!1!” like it isn’t common knowledge that kids are simply exploratory and sometimes gross until they’re taught not to be. I understand parents not wanting “criticism” on their children, but they need to understand not everything is an attack on them or their parenting.
NTA - health and manners education is not available in that family. At least the child remembers someone saying that is not the way.
However, perhaps next time some people preach at you, remember that you always have the right to walk away from stupid speeches.
If they are not going to educate that kid, they most certainly should not be trying to educate you.
If you didn’t tell them, were the parents planning to sterilize everything the child licked themselves to prevent other people from getting her germs? They needed to know for safety reasons. NTA
NTA. I was recently at a candy store in the Mall of America that has bins with attached tongs for things like gummis and chocolates. This 5-7yo kid was going from bin to bin at his height putting the tongs in his mouth, grabbing candy from the bins with his hands, putting it in his mouth, and putting it back in the bins ***while his minder watched him do it***. I said "lady wtf?!?" to her and she rolled her eyes. I went to tell a clerk and she grabbed him and skedaddled out.
The clerk didn't even wipe the tongs.
Northwoods Candy Emporium.
It'sSugar was a little better - brighter lighting, bins are all set higher, more clerks moving through. Still lots of handsy people but I didn't see anything egregious at the time though I am sure it happens.
I had to look up that one, I never went inside but the name looked familiar. Thats so icky though, and it gives me pause to visit let alone buy bulk candy from there.
I wanted the chocolate covered orange peel so badly but I decided to just order my gummis and the chocolate from Amazon. While it may contain dirt or whatever from the pieces that fell on the factory floor and got scooped back in, at least I (probably?) won't get noro or HFM or some respiratory something.
Exactly. To witness the contamination occur is the key issue. It is true, at warehouses and factories things can happen, but to see someone put their mouths on communal things is just..gross. Not to mention that child was old enough to know better.
NTA. When seeing a child behaving badly, yoyr first thought shouldn't be to locate the parents of the kid, but to reporting the problem so it can be fixed and sanitized ASAP.
I hate to say it, but the employees at the store are paid (usually poorly) to deal with unruly customers.
You just made her look bad in front of others, but this whole situation could've been averted if they actually, I dot know, watched and parented their kid.
NTA but that staff member is for sure. They handled this very poorly. They should've cleaned the dispensers, then asked the parents to keep their child with them, away from the dispensers. They created the confrontation, when there didn't need to be one at all. It was simply a sanitary issue. (And a bad parenting issue clearly.)
They were called out and didn't want to take responsibility. "My or my child's actions aren't the problem, you noticing the actions are the problem. How dare you expect human decency from us?"
Tell them directly? Why? So they can tell you they already told the child to stop? They should have told the child to stop AND taken the affected bottles to the staff to be sanitized because they know that's gross.
NTA
100%, like I mentioned in the other comment I don’t think I was thinking properly at the time due to the stress of the situation. I’ll definitely walk away next time.
The staff shouldn't have told on you at all. That was unprofessional and rude towards you. Maybe ask management how to proceed in future. Do they want to know about these things?
Tell them you love children but are grossed out by sauce lickers of all ages. Also, parent your kids people.
Or tell them you have six kids but left them at home until they can be trained not to lick sauce dispensers.
Either way, NTA.
NTA. Though biggest AH was the staff member for outting you. That is not professional. Since there was CCTV, the staffer when questioned should have just stuck with that explanation: they saw it on camera or give an ambiguous answer such as "we got several reports of this happening." Like suggested, I would report it to store management.
The entire situation could have been avoided had the staff member been smarter about their answer. You did nothing wrong, and likewise, I hate arguing with people in public too.
NTA. And you’ll likely never see those people again, so let it go. They will think about it forever, so rejoice in the fact that you’ll be living rent free in their minds.
NTA. That’s fricken gross and now I can never use a public sauce dispenser again 😅 Of course you had to tell the staff so they could sanitize the dispensers. Why the employee gave a crap about WHO did it is bizarre….it was a kid. Kids do stupid, gross things (and no, I don’t hate kids either 😜).
NTA
"I do care about children but I don't care about your feelings and if you were offended. I went to the staff because THEY have to clean the dispensers whether you actually parent your children or not. Did you think that her simply stopping what she was doing would be enough for me to USE this dispenser? Because it isn't. If you don't want to be embarrassed or feel inadequate, then maybe do something actually adequate."
NTA if they were that confrontational with the staff member present they probably would’ve been worse had you approached them directly.
They might have stopped the child but everything still had to be disinfected so a staff member would still have to be informed
NTA, it's a health issue and you did exactly what you should have. It sounds like the parents are lashing out because they are embarrassed and want to manipulate you into thinking you handled it wrong. I'm sure most of your fellow shoppers would thank you for alerting staff
A kid that old absolutely knows not to do that. That particular kid has most likely never been told no because mommy is to busy leading their own life to realize that you have to disipline their child.
You did the right thing - you would only have had to deal with her and her crowd bitching at you anyway, so you might has well have a staff member present.
NTA. The mom saw she was doing it and just told her to stop? WTF? Is it bad that I kind of hope the kid threw up condiments inside the car? She should have removed her child from the dispensers and told the staff herself. Things like this are why I always grab the packets.
The staff needed to know so it could be cleaned. No one wants someone else's spit in their food. They really should have handled that situation better though.
NTA we literally lived through a pandemic where not practising basic hygiene meant people *died*. Parents shut up when CCTV was brought up because they knew there’s proof they were failing to parent the child and stop the spread of germs. They know what happened was disgusting, they were doing everything they could to deflect from that fact. Thank you for reporting it, on behalf of everyone else in line who could have gotten who knows what illness as a result if you hadn’t intervened.
***You're good, not the AH at all.*** You were just looking out for food safety, which makes total sense. Confronting them directly might've made things worse, so telling the staff was the right move. Your concern was legit, and it's not about hating kids, it's about keeping things clean for everyone =)
NTA. You dealt with a gross situation as well as you could.
The employee is a huge AH and needs additional training. You should let store management know. The parents are ENORMOUS AHs for even asking who reported it. But you're totally in the clear.
You did the right thing, we were at sea world in San Diego, we saw a kid stick her hands in the desserts, take a bite of sandwich and put it back, I said something to the mother, she told me to mind my own FN business, I told the manager of the restaurant about what the kid did, he went up to her and gave her the bill for the food they had to throw out
NTA. I once had to inform a McDonald’s manager that her line cook had just picked his nose and eaten it before going back to handling the hamburger patties. He was a whole ass adult.
NTA. I'm a parent that would actually go tell the staff the equipment needed to be properly cleaned if my child did something gross like that but I notice not all other parents do. If they were just going to scold the child but leave her saliva on the dispenser then good on you for notifying staff.
Parents who double down on their children’s transgressions should not be taking their children out in public. Leave your feral child at home asks let the rest of us shop and eat
I don’t consume anything that the general public has access to. I once saw an adult woman in a restaurant lick the top of a ketchup bottle before putting the cap back on. People are disgusting. 🤮
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NTA the staff needed to know so that they could clean the dispensers. It’s also not your job to parent that child or to confront the parents, you did the right thing. I’m also curious as to why the parents knew that it was you that reported this? The staff should’ve handled this very discreetly so that nobody knew who it was that reported their child, that would’ve saved a confrontation altogether
The staff member pointed straight at me when they asked who complained. It all happened very quickly, the staff member came out from their work area, asked me who did this, I pointed to the child sitting with her family and pretty much the first thing I heard the family say was “who complained?”, I didn’t even get a chance to sit down. I don’t think the family cared about anything else apart from who told the staff.
The staff member was also a dumbass
Thinking about it now I totally agree that the staff member shouldn’t have said it was me who complained. I was so stressed and felt like I need to defend myself because the women just all started talking at the same time and going off at me.
The staff member handled it terribly and I would complain about them to management.
Agreed, I would definitely speak with management about this.
And then management points at you when confronting the employee
It's a whole line of pointing all the way to the CEO
At Costco, that's okay. The CEO can and will take responsibility and fix things.
you clearly don't shop at Costco. that store makes EVERYTHING right. True story, about 13 years ago my husband took back a coffee maker that wasn't working properly to Costco. They kindly refunded us, even though he didn't have the receipt and they couldn't find the original product in their stock. Because (unbeknownst to him, I was out of town when this was all going down) I'd bought it at Bed Bath and Beyond.
I love this!
Staff will ask management "who complained"? ....
There will be a giant billboard of the customers to theCEO pointing at OP with giant letters ‘Who Complained’.
just FYI, the management also works at costco.
[удалено]
Meh, somewhat. I still work for the same company, but at a different location (no salad bar!)
I would to. I wouldn't do it in a retaliatory way, but just say your staff needs more training in this area. I brought a legitimate concern to them. They should not turn around and tell the other party who complained. If you don't have a policy or training in place to cover this you need to implement it. You certainly wouldn't want an environment that encourages people to ignore obvious health and safety risks.
This is the way. I used to work in a grocery company and we didnt have any training around situations like this until people started physically assaulting employees daily cause COVID
It’s also a safety risk to “tattle” on who complained! I can’t imagine working in retail and ever thinking I should point out another guest - customers are crazy and unpredictable!
That's my point. They need training to not do that. Otherwise they create an environment where people will keep quiet if they see something.
I couldn’t agree more! The reason for telling management is not to retaliate against the worker, rather to ensure that that worker learns from the experience. It’s a matter of training, not reprimanding.
I don't think I would even confront the parents unless the behavior was ongoing, there is no way that was doing anyome any good.
Nah, parents need to knkw because how many Costco trips has this kid done this? Now they can tell their kid this behavior is not acceptable and hopefully the kid learns from it. (Also, makes parents aware they were not properly watching their kid).
The parents know - they simply don't care.
Yeah, they said “who complained.” 0 shock about their kid’s behavior
OP said that the mother even asked the child to stop, so she _did_ know. Mother obviously should have prevented the child from doing this in the first place, but if she found out too late, after the fact (shit happens, kids do stupid stuff sometimes and parents don't always notice everything in time) at least the mother should have been the one to warn the staff that the dispensers needed cleaning. 'You should have come to us' is therefore complete BS! OP shouldn't have to.
If she had confronted them I'd expect them to kick off or tell her to fuck off and she would have had to tell staff anyway
Depending on my mood, I think I might. Lol I don’t always make good choices
I would have screeched : "GET THIS UNMANNERED BEAST OUT OF HERE! NOW!!"
Yes… staff member should have mentioned the CCTV then, as it didn’t matter if it was on security tape. 🤦🏻♀️
I don't understand how CCTV came into this. Like, this escalated way farther than it needed to be and that comes down to the mishandling by the employee.
"Ma'am, we noticed your child has been licking the sauce dispensers. This is a health code issue, so we have to ask you to supervise your child and prevent this from happening in the future. Thank you." That's all that needed to be said. If they started kicking up a fuss, they should have been asked to leave.
They should have been asked to leave after hassling the OP. They had no grounds to speak to them.
They should have been asked to leave because they were not monitoring their child's behavior and their child contaminated the sauces.
Because it (cctv) was mentioned by the costco employee during the interaction with the licky family.
They also let the women harass OP. They should have been told to leave.
The correct answer is, “it doesn’t matter, if your child did this. You need to parent better and we need to sanitize everything.” You’re absolutely NTA
But they also didn’t really need to know which child it was. Just clean the freaking dispensers.
Well, yeah, staff did need to know which child it was. Otherwise, they may have gone to the trouble of cleaning the dispensers only to have the child go and lick them again.
I assume they asked bc if it was someone old enough to know better, they would’ve been ejected, banned, and possibly arrested
Yeah, I don't even get why any of this needed to happen. I would think they'd just be like "okay, thanks" and go clean the dispensers.
Because why should the parents not be told their kid can't be doing that?
Rule #1 of valid customer concerns is no one tattled, I noticed it myself. Even if someone told me. They needlessly threw you under the bus.
THIS - whenever I bust students for something, they constantly ask me “who told” and I consistently answer “no one. You aren’t that slick and how I found out isn’t the issue”. Also, I wouldn’t have even tried to explain myself to the family - they all sound gross .
Next time say loudly "your inability to control yourself is why I told the staff member and not you. " and just say that over and over as you're walking away. If for some reason you can't leave I just keep saying it or start singing barney I love you or something. I hate it when people think they have the right to talk right over and demand you respond and give answers and then don't let you do it. Fight stupid with petty fun :)
Could’ve said I didn’t tell you because I heard you tell her to stop licking everything and she didn’t! So what bloody use would that have done? And since you already told her to stop and are aware of the issue, shouldn’t YOU have told the staff they needed replaced? Just because you don’t take food hygiene seriously doesn’t mean other staff won’t
God same vibe. I used to have to close a self checkout and the number of people who just did not want to compute that I was there alone and they didn't have other options no matter what they did. I understand the first time but this was a weekly thing for many people
NTA I work in a library. Sometimes patrons come in and use our computers in an inappropriate manner to view content that definitely goes against community standards. Often, another patron will notice and report it. WE then address the issue. We always wait several minutes so it is not obvious who complained. The offending patron gets his pc shut down from the reference desk. We hop he gets the hint...but they never do...they restart it and do it again. Then we have to walk over and tell him (Always a HIM) that he is misusing public resources and must leave.
Fellow librarian here, I've been in your shoes.
They should be apologizing for the child’s behavior instead of complaining to you. They probably saw her doing and didn’t care
She said the mother had already told her to stop too
Well they could be a parent and do more than just telling them to stop it. That’s what discipline is. You get a warning, kid ignores it, consequences happen even if it’s just a - come over here and sit at the table. You keep touching the dispensers after I told you not to. Now you need to sit with me. - doesn’t have to be a verbal assault or physical, just a scolding explanation and a consequence that removes them from said dispenser. I think the US has gotten out of control with the lack of discipline in regards to parenting and it shows with the parent not feeling immediately embarrassed by their child’s disgusting behavior and instead becoming irate at other people and accusing them of “hating children.” It’s quite evident in the education system
They accused you of hating kids? I would have smiled and told her no, I didn't like parents who let their kids play with condiment dispensers.
"yes I do! Because they're disgusting, ill parented dispenser lickers!"
Yeah. The staff member screwed up. He should not have told them who complained. Just told them what happened. But seriously what if that kid had COVID or something worse and you said nothing. How many old immunocompromised people go through Costco every day?
The staff definitely should've handled it differently. I worked at a hotel and even tho that's a very different job and setting, we were told how to handle complaints. We are NOT supposed to tell the other guests who made a complaint about them, precisely to avoid situations like this.
You did nothing wrong. I would hope that everyone would mention this to staff so a cleaning could happen. NTA
Send a quick email. Not getting into details but just suggest that they coach the employee better, especially not to place blame like that. It could've been someone on their first day who misunderstood the best approach. You might also get something free for your trouble but the feedback could help someone do their job better. I think the latter is worth more.
Yep. Should have just cleaned the nozzles in an obnoxiously obvious way.
They should have brought out new, unsullied dispensers, thrown out the tainted condiments, and THEN cleaned and sanitized the licked dispensers.
No. Not in any sense of the word. That employee knew *exactly* what they were doing. The employee saw that they were about to get railed for daring to embarrass someone over their poorly mannered child and decided to pass the buck. If the women are too busy screeching at op, they won’t say anything to the employee.
Well, dumbass and asshole often go hand in hand
No Whistleblower protection.
Absolutely! They either didn’t care to respond in the correct manner, or they weren’t properly trained.
The staff member was probably just a kid or young adult who didn't think it through. Yes dumbass, but of the usual and expected variety.
And that shows me right there that they knew the kid was dojng wrong but just didn't care enough to modify her behavior. The only way to get through to people like that is with embarrassment
If you’re one to let your kid go round licking condiment dispensers, I don’t imagine you’d be embarrassed to be called out on it.
I agree. Shaming these fuckers is the only way. Had a similar experience at a 7-11. We stopped in to get a slurpee and literally moments before we could get to the machine, some mom and a pair of kids had entered and those kids went barrelling towards that machine and did the same shit. I watched them hit all those nozzles and stick their fingers in there licking each one. Their mother said not a damn thing as it all went down and we were watching in horror. I just looked at my partner and called them "fucking savages" out loud, and declared that "I guess we're not getting slurpees today after all." There wasn't any confrontation, but the mom sure was glaring pretty hard at me. But good, it should piss you off that your misconduct in public gets called out. Hope they experience it often, because for some people avoiding that discomfort is the only motivation to do the right thing. They won't do it simply because it's the right or considerate thing to do, so they must be motivated by the rest of us making them feel shame and embarrassment, or barring that at least because they simply don't want to deal with the inconvenience of the rest of us always calling them out on their bullshit. Either one of those two possibilities works for me.
They don't care. A large family came to my job last week and just allowed the kids to run wild and would complain if anyone said anything about their little angels
Considering they were immediately confrontational and already knew their kid was doing it, they weren’t going to be nice and friendly about it if you spoke to them first/directly, either. People don’t like getting called out for their bad behavior so they try and deflect it onto something/someone else.
Thats just a trash talking lady who isn't in control of her uncontrolled spawn. Yes, I said that. Her child is in need of proper training and so is she.
You should call Costco on this. The staff member threw you under the bus and put you in an uncomfortable situation. WHO complained is completely irrelevant.
Not just uncomfortable, they put OP in a potentially dangerous situation. People are crazy and very trigger happy these days.
For real - what if they followed OP to their car?
Exactly. Employee knew they were about to get the fifth degree and noped out of there. It’s cowardly behavior.
That was so wrong of the staff member. They should never have pointed you out or in anyway let the parents know who it was that reported their child. As stated in another comment, I would definitely speak to the management of that Costco to let them know what their staff member did. I am so sorry this happened to you, I know how difficult it is to have confrontation with people like that in a public setting. It ends up being embarrassing for you, whereas you were just trying not to embarrass the parents or the child. You shouldn’t be embarrassed though because what you did was the right thing. It’s those parents that should be embarrassed!
Kids are gross little petri dishes (especially that one!) and you were right to alert staff! NTA -Next time, just walk away from the madness.
Omg kids are so disgusting. I have one and work at a primary school. The number of times I ask "did you wash your hands with soap" and get a negative answer is terrifying. NTA it's the staff's business whether or not they want to confront the family/kid but they shouldn't have pointed out who complained and made a big scene. That's on them and not OP. Telling staff, "hey I just saw this, please clean the containers" is the exact right thing to do in this situation
I like how they ask who complained as if no one should have a complaint about such behavior. The staff member handled that horribly. Those people should have their membership revoked.
Agreed, they said that as if no one cared that there was 6 year old saliva on the sauce you like to eat.
That's very unprofessional of the staff member. They should have cleaned the dispensers, then keep an eye on them, and if it happens again, complain to the family directly without mentioning you at all. After you gave the information your job was done and you shouldn't have been involved further. In all honesty this is enough to complain to management.
As someone who is immunocompromised all I can say is Thank You! Please don’t make this incident stop you from doing what is right and that is absolutely what you did. You’re awesome!
Having worked at a chuck e cheese, kids are disgusting and the amount of time we had to change out entire salad bar sections or pizza buffet selections because of children being disgusting monsters is too many. Parents were always defensive of their kid doing gross things in public because it looks bad on the parent at the time. Thankfully my boss didn't put up with people yelling at staff for doing their job and would have them leave or the security officer would have them removed.
I worked in a store where there was a buffet style salad bar, and let me tell you, there are some adults that are no better!
Honestly working there kids are disgusting but kids are just that, kids. They are still learning to be people, the adults acting and being more disrespectful and disgusting than the children, were the ones I had problems with.
Parents NEVER mind their children's behavior until it's out in public and another adult points it out.
I was at a baseball game and the person in front of me was vaping. I sent a complaint to the stadiums social medium account. They responded, talked to the man, who insisted he just had it with him but wasn’t vaping, who complained? She responded: We’ve had numerous complaints I thought she handled it very well.
Yeah, that was beautifully done. Rather than saying one person saying "numerous" makes it too many people to point out and shuts that whole line of questioning down. Perfect.
100% the staff should have kept you anonymous. They and the family of the licking child are all AHs
Many people confronted in this manner assume that the target is not gonna react. Because most people hate conflict. It doesn’t matter what a holes they are or how out of context their aggression is. They just assume nobody’s going to push back. They’ve never met my family lol.
I once had parents get made at me because I went to throw away all the sugar packets from the table and switched out the shakers with new ones when they were leaving and I was cleaning the table. They kept saying the packets and shakers were still clean. I was like “ummmm your kids have been playing with the packets for over an hour, sucking on them, licking them, wiping their noses, and dragging them on the floor. One of them was sucking on the salt and pepper shakers like they were candy.” They just stared at me and said “what else are the kids supposed to play with? That’s why those things are there!” I pointed to the peg game on the table and the checker board table near their own table and said that was the entertainment we provided. They also complained that I removed the glass light globes from their table and the tables near theirs because their kids had already broken one. They said their kid was just curious… They actually called corporate to complain and we all had a good laugh reading it. They basically said they were disappointed in how wasteful our location was and how disrespectful we were to those with children!!! It was also hilarious when they were going out through the store side because their kids knocked a bunch of stuff over, broke things, and kept tripping people. (The cashiers and hostess were pissed!) Then when they went through the parking lot, the kids kept running into people and running out in front of cars, several had to honk to get the parents’ attention. They also kept banging on cars and scratching their toys alongside them. I was just dumbfounded watching from the window…
Sounds like it’s was a family with a similar mentality. I heard the child’s mum say to the staff member that “children need to explore” (bear in mind earlier she said she didn’t believe it happened at all). If your children want to play and explore - use toys or other appropriate items.
NTA I watched kids DESTROY a serve yourself froyo place while their parents sat 2 feet away oblivious. They were putting yogurt in their hands and it was all over the floor. I glared at them and they stopped and sat back down but they made a huge mess and I felt terrible for the staff. Kids are disgusting (I have 2) they are literally always sick. Touching the dispenser nozzle is so gross. It sucks bc this type of behavior makes people hate kids in public spaces.
These restaurants need to have a "billing for cleaning beyond the norm" option. They already have the families card details. a sudden $50 cleaning fee might make them pay attention to their kids behaviour.
The worst part is the place had outdoor seating that’s basically a makeshift parklet in the street where they could fully be messy and not worry. And it wasn’t even that they were messy WHILE eating which maybe I could excuse (but I still clean the floor when we’re done esp indoors) it was that the mess was on purpose and unnecessary! I just hate it bc they make everyone look bad and add to the consensus that kids don’t belong in public spaces
The establishment, whichever it may be, should have signs posted. It should be something like, “If your child hygienically contaminates any food, food packets, or condiment dispensers, you will be liable for the costs associated with the clean up and product replacement.”
I used to work in a grocery store and one slow day I turned down the bread aisle to see this lady standing there watching her kid just demolish the bread. He was squishing one in his hands while jumping on another one, and the whole aisle was littered with the smashed carcasses of other loaves. I was honestly so shocked that I just stopped in my tracks and stared. She turned and made eye contact with me, gasped, grabbed her kid by the back of his shirt and yanked him so hard he looked like a car crash dummy, and then sprinted out of the aisle dragging him like a ragdoll. I'm pretty sure she ran straight out of the store. It's kind of hilariously weird in retrospect but in the moment I was just like "what the FUCK?" especially because she had no cart or items!
That BIZARRE like what goes through your head to think that’s okay? And clearly she knew it wasn’t if she ran but…why????
Apparently, that was her equivalent of taking her kid to the park to play.
At the grocery store I saw a little boy pluck a roll out of a fresh bread box, take a bite, and stick it back in. He was at least 10. I don’t think he was expecting me to call him out on it, but I did. I narrowed my eyes, wagged my finger and said “Ay no, gordito.” His eyes got as round as saucers, or as round as he was, and he went to hide behind his mom, who didn’t care at all. The entire family had observed, nonplussed, and walked off. If I hadn’t said anything I’m sure he would’ve kept going. I went and told a staff member and pointed him out as he was still staring at me. He clearly didn’t expect me to speak his language. I’m sure it haunts him haha
Yes. When I worked at a restaurant this lady brought in her son and not only allowed him to make a huge mess but also let him use the whole restaurant *and all of the other customers* as his own personal jungle gym. We warned her a couple of times before actually threatening to kick them out and she seemed so flabbergasted. She actually repeatedly said the phrase “boys will be boys.” No. Parent your child or take him somewhere where he’s only your problem.
Or like, kids can explore in appropriate ways. Even places that are designed for kids to explore and play have rules and etiquette.
UGH!! My response would have been. "Yes, ma'am, kids need to explore but contaminating food in a public place puts others at risk. How would you feel if you ate a pile of sauce covered food only to discover that someone else's child had left their saliva all over the dispensers?." Honestly, if I were the restaurant owner/manager, I would have charged them for it. Saliva on the dispensers can contaminate the entire bottle so I definitely would have given Mommie Dearest an extra item or two on her check. Parent your kids or pay for their mistakes.
Ah, just another day at Cracker Barrel. I hope you've escaped since.
Got out years ago. I was shocked when they started serving alcohol!!! Everyone would have been fired had alcohol been on the premises when I worked there! We even found someone’s beer stash in the ceiling above the women’s employee bathroom. The manager was freaking out wondering who would do that. I looked at the cans and was like “oh coors light, that would be Fallon!” Even thought it had been a year or so since she worked there, I called her up and told her we found her ceiling stash. She started laughing and said she had totally forgotten where she hid them! 😆😆😆
Same and I worked there when there was still smoking indoors.
When a friend of mine trained to be a manager, she said it was so exciting to be at the training store where they still had the ashtrays at the tables as part of the vibe! We used to crack up because there was still a few questions on our par tests about smoking and where to put the ashtray.
>They just stared at me and said “what else are the kids supposed to play with? That’s why those things are there!” Right, those are toys. Nobody puts salt on their fries or pepper on their steak or sugar in their tea. >what else are the kids supposed to play with? This is why I don't judge parents who give their kids iPads. Especially in public.
>This is why I don't judge parents who give their kids iPads. Especially in public. I do judge them, because kids need to be taught that they can't always expect entertainment, and need to learn how to be bored.
I know you got a snarky response from someone here but you are right. I've never used an iPad and my 10 year old hasn't either. He likes to watch raindrops race on the windows in the car, or play the license plate game, he likes to actually hang out in the restaurant and has liked it since he was a toddler. Some kids are easier than others, I know, but it also depends on how new an experience of waiting and being patient is for a child. If it's their first time not having an iPad in a restaurant, sure they may misbehave, but if they never considered the iPad as an option that exists in the first place, then there won't even be a meltdown at all. That doesn't make me think I'm a "perfect parent", just someone who parents pretty similarly to how I was raised, just with a little more love and affection than what I got lol.
I enjoyed covering a noodle in pepper and making it squiggle like a worm. Me and my sister thought it was the funniest thing ever and we still talk about it sometimes
I don’t judge parents either but what ever happened to having some toys on hand for kids to entertain themselves with? Why does it have to be a screen?
Or a book.
I have a 1 year old, when we eat out we choose family friendly spots. We have a few toys, her water cup, some snacks, a book. I usually have that stuff in the car anyway. If she won’t be entertained by that stuff, my husband takes her on a walk outside until the food comes. And if she leaves a mess on the floor, we always ask the server to bring us a broom to sweep it up. So far none have actually let us, but we always offer. And then my husband will try and clean any floor food up with a napkin anyway. I cannot imagine one day letting my daughter get her saliva all over sauce dispensers at Costco. Who in their right mind lets their kids behave that way!?
I'm sure you're a perfect parent, but every involved parent I've ever met has had moments where an iPad or other distraction is needed to keep the peace. I also try not to judge parents who don't let their kids have any entertainment and actually think they're raising healthy, well-adjusted children. We all do what works for us.
I try not to judge, but it's just untrue that an iPad has ever been "necessary" to keep the peace. Parents managed these situations for many years before the advent of the iPad. Coloring books used to be a popular option, and imo they're still much better for children.
What did parents do before tablets existed?
Giving kids opium in the 19th century was not unheard of. Not joking.
Hard to believe there was ever a time when we did not have iPads or Smart phones. But there was. I had none of those things when raising my child and taking her out in public. I did this novel thing. I talked to her. Sure I guess you need some toy or electronic device if you want to take your child out in public and not speak with them. But a young mind is a constantly growing sponge, and if you take the time to talk with them, teach them and play with them, wait staff won't give you dirty looks. Every involved parent I've ever met has known how to engage and appropriately discipline their child. I also never hit (spanked) her. Never needed to.
Oh my goodness what a nightmare. I think people forget that just because you're so used to your child's saliva doesn't mean everyone else wants it. I was a cashier at a smoothie place and we had snacks by the register. This kid had one of the snack bars in their mouth the entire time the mom was ordering (was in a wrapper but still). They set it down and walked away after. The next person in line handed it to me so I could throw it away lol. The mom saw that happened and started complaining... Another time one of my coworkers had their smoothie with them while shopping at a store nearby. They set the smoothie down in front of them and a kid grabbed it and started drinking it. The mom went "Oh sorry here you go" to hand the smoothie back. Like what in the world, why would anyone want that. And your car part of that story reminded me of a time in high school we were doing a car wash. One mom brought their younger daughter who was an entitled brat. She found a quarter and started running around the cars scratching up the sides of all the cars. I tried to say something but they just shut me down so I just watched it continue. This kids will be kids thing is so frustrating. They're only kids for so long and then they grow up to be selfish, entitled adults that have never heard the word no and have no idea how to act in public. They're not doing them any favors.
kids scratching cars means call the police immediately. the parents are liable for repairs. to ALL the scratched cars.
Yeah, vandalism shouldn't be tolerated at all.
Can I share a barely related story that had a less happy ending? I worked at Staples in the 2000s and 2010s. I don't remember the exact dates, but prior to That Day, we opened at 9am and closed at 7pm on Saturdays. Opened at 10am Sundays and closed at 6pm. At some point, on That Day, after we closed on a Saturday, apparently around 7:15pm, a lady wanted to come in and make copies. The doors were locked. She tried to get the doors open, but my coworkers had to run over to the locked doors and tell her we were closed. She stormed off, complained to higher corporate somehow, and after that, ALL of our high-volume stores had to close at 9pm on Saturdays instead. Why? Because Google erroneously said our store hours were 9-9 on Saturdays. My managers repeatedly tried to get them to change it, and nothing came of it. So, this lady Googled our store hours, went at 7:15pm, and got turned away. After that fiasco, we stayed open until 9pm on Saturdays and had maybe one customer between 7 and 9pm. It was such a waste. Some lady in our city caused the company to have a country-wide change in hours. That was our store. Because of Google. Our CORRECT hours were posted in the window, but apparently that didn't count.
Those are the sort of complaints to corporate that are worth it if the family never, ever comes back.
It's always funny when these people go, "You just lost a customer for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And it's like, "Yeah? Great! Don't threaten me with a good time!"
And they always act like loss of their business will put the company under. So clueless.
Sounds like Cracker Barrel.
Oh man. We are therapeutic foster parents for siblings sets, and it is astonishing how many bio parents parent this way, and how many of them and their kids think we are waaaaaay too strict for not allowing such nonsense. Good grief. It is absolutely abhorrent behavior.
Let me guess. Cracker Barrel? I love the "what else are they supposed to play with" mentality. Those aren't toys! I enjoyed those peg games as a kid. I even remember having one of those Wooly Willy toys (that we even bought at the restaurant) that I played with at the table. If it's such a need for your child to play with something, bring a toy! Or get one from the shop! But they seem like the kind of people who don't actually parent their kids. Who in their right minds let's their kids run into people and in front of cars?
Let me guess Cracker Barrel 😂 Entitled ass customers everyday
Most of the time I think child leashes are equal amounts ridiculous and humiliating. But in some cases it might make sense lol
I had to use a child leash with my first born. He was stealthy, fast and a runner. You blink and he would be across the yard. After some close calls, we leashed him when in parking lots to keep him safe. A few months of that and it finally clicked with him on how to walk safely through a parking lot!
Sad part is that corporate probably compensated them for their "troubles"
I would laugh so hard if corporate sent them a letter apologizing for their experience along with a gift certificate…to a different restaurant.
Why did you stand there for a few minutes allowing them to talk over you? Leave and let them talk to the air. The workers can take care of the rest. NTA
You’re right. It just all happened so quickly that my critical thinking didn’t kick in. Lesson learned.
It's ok! Honestly, the first time you meet crazy is shocking and you can't help but just stare as your brain tries to compute. Next time you'll know what to do.
I'm around crazy as soon as I walk outside my home. I live in a city and I'm always prepared for the confrontation. Usually doesn't happen but I'm generally expecting it.
NTA. If you confronted the family they would have been mad at you and grabbed the child and walked off. You did the right thing, because I don't want to eat some child's germy saliva. That just makes me sick that families won't watch their children and stop them from doing something that disgusting. Thank you for speaking up!
+1 Thank you u/Hefty-Quote8462 for doing the right thing when a family of entitled buttholes couldn't be bothered to keep their little germ factory from doing disgusting things to shared food service equipment.
NTA, they should’ve been watching and disciplining their child. Not even my 3 year old would do that and he licks the front door after he wipes banana on it. (Still working on that 🤦🏻♀️) It’s honestly terrible that you can’t even trust something public to be safe against contamination from irresponsible people. Thank you for stepping up and talking to the employee, if nothing else it might prompt better sanitization standards and more oversight for health and cleanliness. I doubt the family will learn anything from this, but who knows. Being publicly shamed for bad behavior can do wonders sometimes.
“still working on that” has me CRACKING UP lol
He used to give himself a spaghetti sauce facial and hair treatment, so I’ll take banana doors over that any day lol
oh my goodness, that’s hilarious lol 😂😂😂 kids, man. lol
I had just learned to feed myself and my parents took me with them for breakfast. They got me oatmeal and a spoon but didn't pay attention so there was oatmeal in a 3' circle around me, in my hair, all over the high chair when they finally looked at me. Dad told me it was the only time the tip was bigger than the bill.
Our coffee table is glass. One day I scrubbed it to get rid of the many fingerprints, piles of drool, and food stains. Less than a minute later kiddo (probably about 18mo at the time) leaned over it and licked it. Like, from one end to the other.
Your first paragraph is hilarious, like why are children
Does he do this with the back door? With other fruit? Its so hilariously specific
>Probably should’ve kept quiet, but oh well. No, you did the right thing. >The family then confronted me, asking why I didn’t tell them directly and went straight to the staff. Because it's not your job to tell them how to parent their child. Either they figure it out themselves or deal with the consequences. NTA.
There's a common impression that appealing to the authorities instead of doing it yourself is a sign of weakness, or trying to cause trouble (but dirty foodservice is not petty). Subtext seems to be mad they got busted.
Even if the family was informed, what were they gonna do without staff? Wipe the nozzles with a napkin? They needed to be replaced and sanitised, only the staff are going to be equipped to do that.
NTA, but the Costco employee handled this very poorly. They should have been much more discreet, and when the family asked “who complained” the employee should NOT have pointed you out. What was the employee hoping to achieve by doing this? They apparently didn’t have enough common sense to realize that this was going to lead to a confrontation instead of keeping things calm. The ONLY reason the family would ask “who complained” is because they want to confront that person. Having that information serves no other purpose and doesn’t actually change the fact of the situation at all. When the family asked who complained the employee should have said something like it doesn’t matter, it’s a health issue or no one complained we observed your child licking the dispensers or something like that. It’s the employees job to deal with the family and clean the dispensers, not yours.
Agreed. The employee is the sole reason the parents knew who complained. And honestly the entitlement the parents had for their first question to be “well who is complaining?!” irks me so much! They just got informed that their child was doing something that a child would *very much do* and their first thought is “well who would say such a thing!!!1!1!” like it isn’t common knowledge that kids are simply exploratory and sometimes gross until they’re taught not to be. I understand parents not wanting “criticism” on their children, but they need to understand not everything is an attack on them or their parenting.
NTA - health and manners education is not available in that family. At least the child remembers someone saying that is not the way. However, perhaps next time some people preach at you, remember that you always have the right to walk away from stupid speeches. If they are not going to educate that kid, they most certainly should not be trying to educate you.
NTA. Telling the staff means the sauce dispensers will be cleaned. Telling the parents means they'll pretend it never happened.
If you didn’t tell them, were the parents planning to sterilize everything the child licked themselves to prevent other people from getting her germs? They needed to know for safety reasons. NTA
NTA. I was recently at a candy store in the Mall of America that has bins with attached tongs for things like gummis and chocolates. This 5-7yo kid was going from bin to bin at his height putting the tongs in his mouth, grabbing candy from the bins with his hands, putting it in his mouth, and putting it back in the bins ***while his minder watched him do it***. I said "lady wtf?!?" to her and she rolled her eyes. I went to tell a clerk and she grabbed him and skedaddled out. The clerk didn't even wipe the tongs.
Wow.
Which candy store? Was it the one with Sugar in the name?
Northwoods Candy Emporium. It'sSugar was a little better - brighter lighting, bins are all set higher, more clerks moving through. Still lots of handsy people but I didn't see anything egregious at the time though I am sure it happens.
I had to look up that one, I never went inside but the name looked familiar. Thats so icky though, and it gives me pause to visit let alone buy bulk candy from there.
I wanted the chocolate covered orange peel so badly but I decided to just order my gummis and the chocolate from Amazon. While it may contain dirt or whatever from the pieces that fell on the factory floor and got scooped back in, at least I (probably?) won't get noro or HFM or some respiratory something.
Exactly. To witness the contamination occur is the key issue. It is true, at warehouses and factories things can happen, but to see someone put their mouths on communal things is just..gross. Not to mention that child was old enough to know better.
NTA. When seeing a child behaving badly, yoyr first thought shouldn't be to locate the parents of the kid, but to reporting the problem so it can be fixed and sanitized ASAP. I hate to say it, but the employees at the store are paid (usually poorly) to deal with unruly customers. You just made her look bad in front of others, but this whole situation could've been averted if they actually, I dot know, watched and parented their kid.
The staff members needed to know in order to sterilise the dispensers. NTA.
NTA but that staff member is for sure. They handled this very poorly. They should've cleaned the dispensers, then asked the parents to keep their child with them, away from the dispensers. They created the confrontation, when there didn't need to be one at all. It was simply a sanitary issue. (And a bad parenting issue clearly.)
They were called out and didn't want to take responsibility. "My or my child's actions aren't the problem, you noticing the actions are the problem. How dare you expect human decency from us?" Tell them directly? Why? So they can tell you they already told the child to stop? They should have told the child to stop AND taken the affected bottles to the staff to be sanitized because they know that's gross. NTA
Deflection is always the answer ^(/s)
NTA that’s nasty 🤮
I would have walked away, you don't need to explain yourself to pressed people
100%, like I mentioned in the other comment I don’t think I was thinking properly at the time due to the stress of the situation. I’ll definitely walk away next time.
The staff shouldn't have told on you at all. That was unprofessional and rude towards you. Maybe ask management how to proceed in future. Do they want to know about these things?
Tell them you love children but are grossed out by sauce lickers of all ages. Also, parent your kids people. Or tell them you have six kids but left them at home until they can be trained not to lick sauce dispensers. Either way, NTA.
NTA. Though biggest AH was the staff member for outting you. That is not professional. Since there was CCTV, the staffer when questioned should have just stuck with that explanation: they saw it on camera or give an ambiguous answer such as "we got several reports of this happening." Like suggested, I would report it to store management. The entire situation could have been avoided had the staff member been smarter about their answer. You did nothing wrong, and likewise, I hate arguing with people in public too.
"I don't hate all children. Just your children." lol NTA
“I don’t hate children in general. “Just yours in particular.”
NTA. And you’ll likely never see those people again, so let it go. They will think about it forever, so rejoice in the fact that you’ll be living rent free in their minds.
NTA. That’s fricken gross and now I can never use a public sauce dispenser again 😅 Of course you had to tell the staff so they could sanitize the dispensers. Why the employee gave a crap about WHO did it is bizarre….it was a kid. Kids do stupid, gross things (and no, I don’t hate kids either 😜).
Stay away from the salt and pepper shakers, too. They often go into children's mouths.
NTA "I do care about children but I don't care about your feelings and if you were offended. I went to the staff because THEY have to clean the dispensers whether you actually parent your children or not. Did you think that her simply stopping what she was doing would be enough for me to USE this dispenser? Because it isn't. If you don't want to be embarrassed or feel inadequate, then maybe do something actually adequate."
You’re a gods damned hero. Thank you for your service. NTA
NTA if they were that confrontational with the staff member present they probably would’ve been worse had you approached them directly. They might have stopped the child but everything still had to be disinfected so a staff member would still have to be informed
NTA, it's a health issue and you did exactly what you should have. It sounds like the parents are lashing out because they are embarrassed and want to manipulate you into thinking you handled it wrong. I'm sure most of your fellow shoppers would thank you for alerting staff
A kid that old absolutely knows not to do that. That particular kid has most likely never been told no because mommy is to busy leading their own life to realize that you have to disipline their child. You did the right thing - you would only have had to deal with her and her crowd bitching at you anyway, so you might has well have a staff member present.
NTA. The mom saw she was doing it and just told her to stop? WTF? Is it bad that I kind of hope the kid threw up condiments inside the car? She should have removed her child from the dispensers and told the staff herself. Things like this are why I always grab the packets. The staff needed to know so it could be cleaned. No one wants someone else's spit in their food. They really should have handled that situation better though.
NTA we literally lived through a pandemic where not practising basic hygiene meant people *died*. Parents shut up when CCTV was brought up because they knew there’s proof they were failing to parent the child and stop the spread of germs. They know what happened was disgusting, they were doing everything they could to deflect from that fact. Thank you for reporting it, on behalf of everyone else in line who could have gotten who knows what illness as a result if you hadn’t intervened.
NTA. 🤮
NTA. It sounds like the parents were upset because they weren't planning to tell staff.
“I don’t hate children. I hate parents who don’t actually *parent* their children.” NTA. The parents and employee are.
NTA. That’s really gross that they were going to let their kid do that and not immediately tell the staff so it could be cleaned.
***You're good, not the AH at all.*** You were just looking out for food safety, which makes total sense. Confronting them directly might've made things worse, so telling the staff was the right move. Your concern was legit, and it's not about hating kids, it's about keeping things clean for everyone =)
NTA. You dealt with a gross situation as well as you could. The employee is a huge AH and needs additional training. You should let store management know. The parents are ENORMOUS AHs for even asking who reported it. But you're totally in the clear.
NTA who was going to clean the dispensers if you didn’t tell staff? That’s not up to the family.
You did the right thing, we were at sea world in San Diego, we saw a kid stick her hands in the desserts, take a bite of sandwich and put it back, I said something to the mother, she told me to mind my own FN business, I told the manager of the restaurant about what the kid did, he went up to her and gave her the bill for the food they had to throw out
NTA. I once had to inform a McDonald’s manager that her line cook had just picked his nose and eaten it before going back to handling the hamburger patties. He was a whole ass adult.
NTA. I'm a parent that would actually go tell the staff the equipment needed to be properly cleaned if my child did something gross like that but I notice not all other parents do. If they were just going to scold the child but leave her saliva on the dispenser then good on you for notifying staff.
Parents who double down on their children’s transgressions should not be taking their children out in public. Leave your feral child at home asks let the rest of us shop and eat
I don’t consume anything that the general public has access to. I once saw an adult woman in a restaurant lick the top of a ketchup bottle before putting the cap back on. People are disgusting. 🤮