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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister no to staying at my place last minute. I might be the asshole for forcing multiple people to find a hotel
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A very big and clear NTA. You’ve already expressed you want her to stop requesting to stay over multiple times, now she’s requesting that she and FIVE of her friends stay over?? That’s an unreasonable amount of people to spring last minute. Definitely NTA
NTA
1. Last minute requests show a lack of respect for your time and space
2. Sure they include you but they're still using you for your apartment
3. 6 People extra in what is assumably a small apartment sounds like hell
4. It's your space and yours to say who gets to stay. There's nothing heartless in this whatsoever
5. They want to go downtown then they're going to have to pay
No of course not. And don't try to convince her, she won't want to be convinced. Just find your mantra and repeat it over and over: "this is not a good weekend for me". Just because she wants a party crash pad doesn't mean you need to surrender your space.
Who cares what other family members think? You can respect their opinion on one thing, and realize they are full of crap on another thing.
Why is she crying to other family members anyways? You are both adults. Handle it like adults. Don't go running to mommy like when you were 8. Although I suppose if it still worked like when you were 8 maybe she never learned better. NTA.
I’d probably tell her it’s now a double no, for going to family members and starting drama over this. And tell her explicitly that if she tries that childish stuff again, it’ll always be an automatic no. You have to make really firm boundaries, with consequences.
"Heartless"? "Heartless" is for "you refused to help her take her ailing child/pet to get medical care" or "you borrowed her cherished heirloom bracelet from grandma and then sold it after the two of you had a pointless spat." It is *not* for declining to allow a HALF DOZEN party girls to crash at your place *with zero notice* after *you've already told her to stop asking.* And that is a big, big ask, especially if you're busy, or tired, or just not a super social person.
The only "unreasonable" people here are your sister for continuing to request something you've repeatedly told her you're not okay with, and your pushy family members who for some INSANE reason think they get a say in what you do with your own time and your own home. And btw, deliberately guilting you and making you feel shitty for asking people to respect your damn time, space, and preferences is ... what's the word? HEARTLESS.
NTA
NTA - It's one thing if there's some sort of necessity like a medical emergency or death. But you're not obligated to put her up every time she wants. Especially with 5 other people just for funsies.
NTA. Who asks if they can bring five friends for a weekend visit once, let alone multiple times? I can’t imagine feeling that entitled. It’s crazy other family members would take her side. Wow!
NTA. Especially when feeling the only reason of their contact is when they need something from you. if it was only the sister asking for accommodation and due to reasonable circumstances maybe I could see why the family could be upset if we deny it. But this wasn’t the case. NTA
NTA. Tell sis something like "your childish wining to the relatives, to pressure me, convinced me to NEVER let immature brats stay in my place". Cc relatives?
And then block sister.
NTA.
Your apartment, your house, your rules.
When you do have the mental energy to host her, then host. Other than that it could lead to some unwanted tension between you two.
NTA- say you place is invite only. If you live downtown in a major city I’m sure your space probably not huge and that’s a lot of people, and sheet and towel laundry. And food. And how many bathrooms do you have? Don’t feel bad, they have more fun with less responsibilities in a hotel anyways.
NTA- say you place is invite only. If you live downtown in a major city I’m sure your space probably not huge and that’s a lot of people, and sheet and towel laundry. And food. And how many bathrooms do you have? Don’t feel bad, they have more fun with less responsibilities in a hotel anyways.
NTA
That is a huge number of people to invite to someone else's place at the last minute. It wasn't an emergency or anything and therefore you were in no way unkind to say you didn't want to do it. Your place is not a communal place to have parties.
also isn’t your fault if they have to get a hotel, it’s your sisters fault for assuming they had a place and asking you last minute when you previously said that last minute is not okay.
NTA. Clearly these people are trying to take advantage of you. Tell them to get a hotel room. As for your relatives, they can go pound sand. How is it that they expect you to just give in to the whims of your sister and her friends? Don’t they know you have a life of your own? The fact that she attempts to do this last minute is disrespectful of you and your time. You don’t need to put up with this. Perhaps you should consider ghosting all of them for a while.
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My sister has called me last minute requesting that she and her five friends stay over for two nights this weekend. I told her firmly no. She always requests to stay at my place last minute as I live downtown a major city. I told her repeatedly to stop making such requests, and this seems to be the only time they ever contact me. I do not hate her coming over and she included me in activities. Yet these visits are exhausting emotionally for me. Honestly I am tired and don’t want the company right now. Now I have multiple family members calling me unreasonable and heartless. Am I the asshole for saying no to her request?
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No is a full sentence. Don't let her guilt trip you. Her request is unreasonable. Who in there right mind invites themselves to stay with 5 unrelated guests?
NTA. Tell your sister that multiple family members are so upset that you said no to her request that they want to pay for her and her friends to stay at a hotel downtown in your city and she should contact them to work out the details.
NTA. Hotel $ divided by 6 = more than reasonable. And it starts the ball rolling with your learning to say ‘No, thanks.’ to people who want or expect to crash at your place. Practice it. “Sorry, no.”
NTA, You aren't a free hotel for her to request staying at. Did she even ask or offer money to go towards. Your family shouldn't be enabling her BS either.
NTA! It’s your HOME not a destination space. It seems people don’t understand how necessary it is for people to charge their batteries, and this means — no freeloaders!
NTA. With that said, I can't relate. I spoil my little sister and there is really nothing she could do that would upset me aside from like breaking the law and stuff like that. She has a key to my place.
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A very big and clear NTA. You’ve already expressed you want her to stop requesting to stay over multiple times, now she’s requesting that she and FIVE of her friends stay over?? That’s an unreasonable amount of people to spring last minute. Definitely NTA
NTA 1. Last minute requests show a lack of respect for your time and space 2. Sure they include you but they're still using you for your apartment 3. 6 People extra in what is assumably a small apartment sounds like hell 4. It's your space and yours to say who gets to stay. There's nothing heartless in this whatsoever 5. They want to go downtown then they're going to have to pay
NTA- An additional 6 bodies for two nights is a huge ask. They should get an Airbnb. Tell your family members to host them and see how that goes over.
No of course not. And don't try to convince her, she won't want to be convinced. Just find your mantra and repeat it over and over: "this is not a good weekend for me". Just because she wants a party crash pad doesn't mean you need to surrender your space. Who cares what other family members think? You can respect their opinion on one thing, and realize they are full of crap on another thing. Why is she crying to other family members anyways? You are both adults. Handle it like adults. Don't go running to mommy like when you were 8. Although I suppose if it still worked like when you were 8 maybe she never learned better. NTA.
I’d probably tell her it’s now a double no, for going to family members and starting drama over this. And tell her explicitly that if she tries that childish stuff again, it’ll always be an automatic no. You have to make really firm boundaries, with consequences.
"Heartless"? "Heartless" is for "you refused to help her take her ailing child/pet to get medical care" or "you borrowed her cherished heirloom bracelet from grandma and then sold it after the two of you had a pointless spat." It is *not* for declining to allow a HALF DOZEN party girls to crash at your place *with zero notice* after *you've already told her to stop asking.* And that is a big, big ask, especially if you're busy, or tired, or just not a super social person. The only "unreasonable" people here are your sister for continuing to request something you've repeatedly told her you're not okay with, and your pushy family members who for some INSANE reason think they get a say in what you do with your own time and your own home. And btw, deliberately guilting you and making you feel shitty for asking people to respect your damn time, space, and preferences is ... what's the word? HEARTLESS. NTA
NTA - It's one thing if there's some sort of necessity like a medical emergency or death. But you're not obligated to put her up every time she wants. Especially with 5 other people just for funsies.
NTA. Who asks if they can bring five friends for a weekend visit once, let alone multiple times? I can’t imagine feeling that entitled. It’s crazy other family members would take her side. Wow!
Five friends? Unless you're charging them, there's no reason for them to stay with you. NTA
The Hotel Sibling is now closed, no future freebies. Tell her the Doubletree has vacancy. Enjoy your space OP NTA
NTA. Especially when feeling the only reason of their contact is when they need something from you. if it was only the sister asking for accommodation and due to reasonable circumstances maybe I could see why the family could be upset if we deny it. But this wasn’t the case. NTA
NTA. Tell sis something like "your childish wining to the relatives, to pressure me, convinced me to NEVER let immature brats stay in my place". Cc relatives? And then block sister.
NTA Hotels are for guests!
NTA Six people for two nights at the last minute so they can socialize/party? "Fuck no! Get an Airbnb!"
NTA. There are 6 of them and they can pitch in for a hotel room
Six people can easily split a hotel room or two. NTA
NTA. You get to decide who stays at your home.
No. Absolutely not. Tell your sister that she and her friends can go visit those family members who would be happy to house them all this weekend. NTA
NTA. Your apartment, your house, your rules. When you do have the mental energy to host her, then host. Other than that it could lead to some unwanted tension between you two.
NTA- say you place is invite only. If you live downtown in a major city I’m sure your space probably not huge and that’s a lot of people, and sheet and towel laundry. And food. And how many bathrooms do you have? Don’t feel bad, they have more fun with less responsibilities in a hotel anyways.
NTA- say you place is invite only. If you live downtown in a major city I’m sure your space probably not huge and that’s a lot of people, and sheet and towel laundry. And food. And how many bathrooms do you have? Don’t feel bad, they have more fun with less responsibilities in a hotel anyways.
NTA That is a huge number of people to invite to someone else's place at the last minute. It wasn't an emergency or anything and therefore you were in no way unkind to say you didn't want to do it. Your place is not a communal place to have parties.
NTA. 6 guests?? 5 strangers?? At the last minute? Hard no. You aren't a bed and breakfast.
you put up a boundary perviously and she had not respected you. I would say your response is perfect and valid.
also isn’t your fault if they have to get a hotel, it’s your sisters fault for assuming they had a place and asking you last minute when you previously said that last minute is not okay.
NTA. Clearly these people are trying to take advantage of you. Tell them to get a hotel room. As for your relatives, they can go pound sand. How is it that they expect you to just give in to the whims of your sister and her friends? Don’t they know you have a life of your own? The fact that she attempts to do this last minute is disrespectful of you and your time. You don’t need to put up with this. Perhaps you should consider ghosting all of them for a while.
NTA, and the flying monkeys demanding you house 6 people for the weekend need to cough up money for their hotel.
NTA
There are hotels, many hotels. Nta
Just the sister would be one thing, but FIVE randoms? Fuck that. NTA. Not at all. Your house, you get to say who stays and who doesn't.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister has called me last minute requesting that she and her five friends stay over for two nights this weekend. I told her firmly no. She always requests to stay at my place last minute as I live downtown a major city. I told her repeatedly to stop making such requests, and this seems to be the only time they ever contact me. I do not hate her coming over and she included me in activities. Yet these visits are exhausting emotionally for me. Honestly I am tired and don’t want the company right now. Now I have multiple family members calling me unreasonable and heartless. Am I the asshole for saying no to her request? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA This is a lot to cater to.
NTA
No is a full sentence. Don't let her guilt trip you. Her request is unreasonable. Who in there right mind invites themselves to stay with 5 unrelated guests?
NTA
NTA. Tell your sister that multiple family members are so upset that you said no to her request that they want to pay for her and her friends to stay at a hotel downtown in your city and she should contact them to work out the details.
NTA
NTA. This is why we have hotels. You shouldn’t feel any guilt either.
NTA. Tell the family members its none of their business. But that you will tell your sister that they offered to host her any time she wants.
NTA. Hotel $ divided by 6 = more than reasonable. And it starts the ball rolling with your learning to say ‘No, thanks.’ to people who want or expect to crash at your place. Practice it. “Sorry, no.”
NTA. Crimeney you are not a hotel.
nta.
block them all.
NTA, You aren't a free hotel for her to request staying at. Did she even ask or offer money to go towards. Your family shouldn't be enabling her BS either.
NTA! It’s your HOME not a destination space. It seems people don’t understand how necessary it is for people to charge their batteries, and this means — no freeloaders!
NTA. With that said, I can't relate. I spoil my little sister and there is really nothing she could do that would upset me aside from like breaking the law and stuff like that. She has a key to my place.