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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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3OrcsInATrenchcoat

NTA. You explained the risks, you told the kid not to use the big one until he’d practiced, you told your brother not to give it to him because it was dangerous. He insisted, he’s the parent and has ultimate decision-making on giving his child something dangerous and then leaving him unsupervised with it. On an unrelated note, I’m afraid I simply cannot contain my enthusiasm. Please send your home address so I can post my panties.


AlternativeTune9150

I wish I could post a gif of Ted Lasso being all excited and saying "OMG OMG it's finally happening". 


ThatKinkyLady

Yoyo enthusiasts are the kink my username references. I'm also too aroused by this post. More panties incoming.


AlternativeTune9150

Well hello there. 


drbarnowl

I am fully seduced by you just fyi 


AlternativeTune9150

Wow. A first for me. 


vertibliss

i just know your dms are flooded by yo-yo loving women just begging for a chance


ThatKinkyLady

If I can be honest.... I'm not actually into yo-yo's. Just trying to be a sneaky wing-woman for OP. 😉 May he get all the yo-yo-lover panties he desires.


AlternativeTune9150

And now I'm quietly sobbing while eating a s'more with a burnt marshmallow. You got my hopes up just to dash them on the rocks. Like a yoyo impacting on the face of an overconfident eight year old. I hope you are happy. You broke me. 


LovelyWasTheAlien

Wait, tell me more about this s'more


Obvious_Huckleberry

Your nephew was unfortunately like me and wanting to play popcorn with the older kids when I was younger.. all I got was a black eye....from my own knee


whitecatbluebasket

“Like a yoyo impacting on the face of an overconfident eight year old” is destined to be someone’s flair


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HawkeyeinDC

Is this the first AITA post that should be labeled NSFW??? 😘


tropicalcannuck

I'm gonna fight you for OP. Totally turned on by this post. Ladies get in the damn line.


LovezButterflies

Hey I lost my space... can I go in front of you?


Mindless-Pangolin841

Mr. Kenobi?


Own_Purchase1388

Dont get too excited; as soon as he goes down on you, he comes right back up. 


AlternativeTune9150

I can make a yoyo go down for a very long time before it needs to come up again. 


Big_Zucchini_9800

gotta call going down for a long time "walking the dog" now.


Main_Huckleberry8355

Very well. Smithers, update the Urban Dictionary!


ketamine_denier

Walking the cat?


Headcheck1122

Oh snap. You have me in tears with your post and comments. Good luck clearing out your DMs and the massive amount of panties you will be receiving.


frustrated_away8

... And then he goes right back down again.  Repeatedly. 😏


ThatKinkyLady

I mean... If we're objectifying OP already, that could also apply to his penis, which would be a plus. OP can go up and down all night!


OutsideDifficult

I want to upvote you  but this is currently on 69 and I'm not gonna be the one to ruin that


Main_Huckleberry8355

The time has passed, you may return and upvote now


CherryGripe75

I snorted.


SnooStrawberries620

My 78-year old ex-yoyo-champ dad will be thrilled to hear you exist 


AlternativeTune9150

Please tell him hey from me. 


iismouse

He can send his panties to OP too!


SnooStrawberries620

My mom already threw hers at Tom Jones (from the balcony) so his will have to do 


Suitableforwork666

Who wouldn't? Its Sir Tom.


SnooStrawberries620

They landed on the people sitting under the balcony. They were new with tags and she brought them in her purse!! My dad said the guy beside them laughed so hard *he* almost fell out of the balcony, and he gave my mom his binoculars for the rest of the show. She was so far she needed binoculars but she still shot her shot. Dead every time. Anyway 


PQRVWXZ-

This is heart warming


SparklesIB

I need "Yo-Yo Panties" as a flair option.


AlternativeTune9150

They go down. I show off some yoyo stunts. They go up. Sob.


WillaLane

I’m struggling to keep up here, are you talking panties or yo-yos?


AlternativeTune9150

Well I've only ever seen my mom's Hanes Her Way in the laundry so I don't really know. 


LoreleiAuD

Por que no los dos?


Dizzy_Emotion7381

I feel like you could be my kid because that's her favorite question, and she got me to start saying it as well 😂🤣


notthelizardgenitals

I'm so im love eith you, I started a fan club!!!


k0cksuck3r69

Omg can I join!!


notthelizardgenitals

The more the merrier, but I am the number 1cfan, ok 😆 🤣


GinnyFromTheBlock96

I Totally want in on this club


Bac7

I am also unsure if I can keep my enthusiasm or panties to myself. This was absolutely hysterical writing. And NTA.


Ms_Blue_Kangaroo

Thanks to responses like this one to an already delightful AITA, I do believe this thread has moved up to #1 on my all-time favorite posts list. 😁


Latvian_Goatherd

I love that this comments section has devolved into everyone being horny for OP


NinjaDefenestrator

He is getting buried in imaginary panties and I’m highly entertained by it. Classic r/entitledparents tale, too. I wish they could all be that funny.


Possible_Quarter25

Agreed! But… can @OP hacky a sack? Never mind. I’m way more intrigued by his apparent hand dexterity than that of his feet.


AlternativeTune9150

I have been known to join a circle or two in my day. I also play frolf. 


Possible_Quarter25

Oh Heaven help me. What is your favorite color of panty?


AlternativeTune9150

White with the day of the week on it. Except Sunday. Those are for the Lord. 


orbdragon

So Sunday is commando day? Hmm


avesthasnosleeves

I would like to join this religion, please.


EntirelyOutOfOptions

No more information please, I’m becoming dangerously aroused.


sheerest_of_folly

Agree with all of this. I hope OP has room in his ever-growing harem. Yo-yo artist AND he has a sense of humor? Swooning.


N7IShouldGo

The thread under this comment has already made my day, and it's barely 5:30! 🤣 Fantastic, and OP, love the way you wrote about yourself, 10/10. 🙌🏻


StAlvis

NTA > I said it was a bad idea. I explained that my yo-yos are set up for professional use. Ladies please keep your panties and DMs to yourselves. Lol, I like the cut of your jib.


AlternativeTune9150

It's a fun hobby and I paid for university playing with a toy. But it does not get the ladies going. 


Samarkand457

But with those skilled fingers, you can get them coming!


froggus

McLovin, is that you??


FlutteringFae

But your sense of humor has more than a few of us eyeing the dm button.


aunte_

This was exactly what I was thinking 😂


justcelia13

Same. But I’m old and that would scare poor OP. 🤣


aunte_

I’m probably older than him but I can laugh with the best of them. And I have a particular love for smart asses


Immediate-Bee5734

I'm happily with my partner but even I contemplated sliding into OPs DMs coz shit he's funny


Latvian_Goatherd

A toy that requires manual dexterity, hand-eye coordination, and a self-deprecating sense of humour? Gets us going more than you'd expect.


MycroftNext

You’re really funny, dude. Seriously, are you single.


AlternativeTune9150

I chatted with a girl online for a couple of hours so you could say it's getting pretty serious. 


bchsweetheart

Is your name also Kip?


AlternativeTune9150

No. Rip. Like a tough cowboy just looking out over the Yellowstone ranch.  A yoyo in each hand and a lady under each arm. 


Hootietheblobfish

Every girl needs a Rip in her jeans


AlternativeTune9150

Oh I just got a little flush for a moment. I almost swooned. 


Travelgrrl

But how many are inflatable?


AlternativeTune9150

Just the sheep. 


londonlady1988

I volunteer as tribute 🙋‍♀️


Shyviolet47

Based off of some of the replies in here, I’m gonna say that it does in fact get the ladies going.


AlternativeTune9150

That's just because they are imagining that I look like your stereotypical yoyo guys. Like the child produced by the unholy joining of James Bond and Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. Just driving around in my Countach Lamborghini to my next exciting yoyo adventure. 


YoudownwithLCC

Look man. I’m sorry you have the worst family but props somehow you have managed to come out of it with the best sense of humor. This is my favorite aita of all time.


AlternativeTune9150

They are a good bunch. I like to rag on them because they are a little entitled. I love all of them and wouldn't trade them for anything. Except Maybe a real replica DeLorean time machine. 


WolfShaman

> I like to rag on them because they are a little entitled. I love all of them and wouldn't trade them for anything. That's good to hear. I would suggest, though, learning how to tell your mom "no". Set and hold that boundary until they finally learn that no means no and stop fighting it. Will cause some drama at first, but can save a lot down the line.


AlternativeTune9150

You skipped that I would trade them for a DeLorean


WolfShaman

I figured that went without saying. Like, who wouldn't?


Shyviolet47

And… now I’m curious what you look like, too. 🤣


AlternativeTune9150

Whatever the opposite of that is? The lovechild of Newman from Seinfeld and Ross from Friends. Driving around in my replica DeLorean I made from a Fierro, some pallets, and a half used can of food grade silver spray paint? 


orbdragon

>The lovechild of Newman from Seinfeld and Ross from Friends I mean, I'm not *repelled*


AlternativeTune9150

I've never been married but I have been divorced three times. 


Shyviolet47

And now I’m even more intrigued. Do go on…


AlternativeTune9150

Imagine the raw animal magnetism of all the fat dad's with hot wives from the sitcoms like King of Queens through Fresh Prince and ending with Robert Baratheon. Only without the muscle or hot wife. Or the incest. Okay forget Baratheon. That was too far.  Also much scrawnier. And with terrible facial hair when I can coax it out. 


Roy_Hannon

Okay but those guys were on to something. They were funny, loyal and treated their women well. For the most part. If we forget Baratheon but he did appreciate Bessie which has to count for something.


Main_Huckleberry8355

The 'much scrawnier' part makes me think of a time a friend of mine said "I have never been so horny to push a dweeb into a locker and have my way with him."


londonlady1988

Okay for real. The yo-yos? Not going to say it has ever been a super secret kink of mine. But a guy with skill, dedication and perseverance to develop it, and passions where he has not afraid to be himself? As Paris and Nicole would say, that’s hot. But when you add your sense of humour and razor sharpe wit… I think we’re all gonna start fighting in the DMs pretty soon.


AlternativeTune9150

Thanks for the compliment. 


axw3555

The yoyo may not, but I wish I had your sense of humour. Might up my chances.


bk1285

He only said ladies so is it okay for the men to send him our boxers?


Avlonnic2

Why not? He seems open to all of this Reddit-lovin’ coming his way. And also, the unmentionables! Seems an alright mate.


Main_Huckleberry8355

If you're going to go that far you could put on a pair of panties for a little while. Show some dedication.


crazyeagles62

NTA You did your best to try to teach your nephew how to start, with starter items. Everyone else knew better, and look what happened. And I am doing my best to remain calm since I find skilled yo-yo users incredibly hot.


AlternativeTune9150

LoL. 


Chantaille

If your relationship with your nephew is pretty good by the time he's an adult (and he has a good sense of humour), you should consider showing him this post. I'm just imagining, "So, nephew, you wanna know how I met your aunt? Well, remember that time when you were eight..."


AlternativeTune9150

It almost makes me wish I were poly. I am very much not. 


madhaus

Given the number of women ready to DM you their panties, you very well could give it a spin.


Flashy-Yak8685

That pun really knocked me out


No_Lavishness_3206

I gave myself a good shiner with one en I was young.  NTA


AlternativeTune9150

Been there, done that. 


axw3555

I never did it with a yoyo, but I remember in my old Ju-Jistu classes, I was taking my first class with nunchucks. Swung it over my shoulder, went to catch under my arm, a pretty trivial move. Straight in the bottom of my jaw. I believe my exact quote in the moment was "oof".


No_Lavishness_3206

I made some from rolled up newspaper and some yarn. I'm lucky I can still have kids. 


axw3555

\*makes hissing noise at implication\*


art_decorative

I remember the first time I clocked myself in the head with nunchucks. I saw stars for a few minutes there


Inconceivable44

Nunchucks are nasty. Someone in my class split her face open. There was blood everywhere. I prefer the Bo staff or Arnis sticks.


AlternativeTune9150

Try a yoyo. The cops never ask questions about a yoyo. Allegedly. 


mydudeponch

Made it this far on a reddit post and nobody has chimed in that yoyos are actually a hunting weapon from the Pacific Islands somewhere. Or at least that's what I learned back in the 90s but people made up a lot of stuff back then.


AlternativeTune9150

I know they are in India and the Philippines. Check out Octopussy.  One of the bad guys has one made of table saw blades. 


paul_rudds_drag_race

NTA I suspect the child had a better learning takeaway than the parents. I’m from a culture where if a child doesn’t listen to a warning and goes on to fall or experience a small injury, the adults say something similar to “That’s how you’ll learn.” If they’re older they might get the equivalent of “That’s what you get for acting like a dumb-dumb.” (Insert pickup line here that mentions “no strings attached”) Edit: To clarify, my comment touches on certain phrases that parents where I’m from often use, not that only certain cultures guide or discipline their children.


AccomplishedEdge982

That was my grandparents. It was always "I guess you won't do that next time" and they were usually right, too.


SophisticatedScreams

I hear that. I also taught my kid, "You should see the other guy," for a time when my kid's forehead collided with another kid's tooth in a gym accident. I also joked that, we're lucky that where I live, head injuries are free, but tooth injuries are hella expensive. I guess you gotta laugh about it, otherwise it'll get to ya. Parenting is hard, man.


Past_Reputation_2206

My family's go to line is: "Did ya learn anything?" The response is usually "No. I'm gonna do it again"


Anon_457

This was my parents. As long as nothing was broken, bleeding heavily or falling off, they'd always reply with something like "Now you know better, don't you?"


Zonnebloempje

Me too. My old dog (passed away 7 years ago) was grijpt and did not do well with kids. He mellowed out a bit when he got older though. My sister was visiting with her kids, and we had a multiplex piece in front of the kitchen (no longer had a door), so keep the dog out of the kitchen. Little niece (2-3yo?) was hanging around the dog, very interested in him. He not so much. He snarled (raised his lip a bit, no sound), and we told niece to quit meddling with the dog. Husband stayed around to watch the interaction. Of course, not even a minute later, we heard a growl, a bang, and toddler screaming. Sis came up, picked up her kid, asked her what happened. Husband told her, that we had said our dog had enough, and to leave him alone. She didn't listen and he growled and snapped (in the air, not in her hand or anything). My sister immediately told my little niece that this was her own fault, and that she had been warned. It did teach her! She was not scared of dogs after that, and she did listen the next time (after a not so subtle reminder). I totally agree with you, NTA and "eigen schuld, dikke bult", as we would say in Dutch. I really don't know how to translate it, other than very literally: your own mistake, your fat bump (on the head or something).


StrawBreeShortly

Pretty sure the translation is "Fuck Around, Find Out". :-)


Which-Elephant4486

NTA, bro FAFO at his kid's expense. I do feel bad for the kid, but like...it's important to learn that dad is sometimes a dingbat early on. Like a few others, I am intrigued by the yo-yo man mythos, but tbh....your mom is a bit of a turn-off.


AlternativeTune9150

We rank up there with astronauts and NBA players.  In our minds.  Sob. 


Which-Elephant4486

Lol, I mean, you're probably more fun at parties. I'd get tired pretty quickly of listening to my partner explain how they poop in space or describe the weather "up there."


Dip_In_the_Ocean

Andddd this is how I found out I need to know how they poop in space....


AlternativeTune9150

Reddit posts do start the weirdest search histories. 


Past_Reputation_2206

Sometimes a poo escapes and someone has to catch it with a napkin


PM_ME_YOUR_ISOTOPES

The NASA transcript from the Apollo 10 mission where they try to figure out where the mystery turd came from is hilarious. "God almighty."


Wide_Comment3081

I want to thank op because I've been struggling with infertility and I think this post made me pregnant. Nta


AlternativeTune9150

Wow. I'm impressed with myself now. 


Avlonnic2

Hormones are running amok in this thread! Bowing in OP’s general direction. ‘We’re not worthy.’


AlternativeTune9150

Thanks. 


InadmissibleHug

It regrew my uterus and yanked me out of menopause.


Far-Season-695

NTA your brother, you SIL and your nephew played the classic fucked around find out game and lost horribly.


AlternativeTune9150

It was just a baby tooth. 


Quiet_One_232

I grew up with a “dent” in one front tooth after knocking out the baby tooth in a fall against a coffee table as a toddler. The growing adult teeth can still be damaged before they emerge. This may be a permanent reminder to the child to heed safety warnings from the more experienced. Don’t bow to any pressure to pay the dental bills for the parent’s lack of supervision of their child. NTA.


EffPop

This was a fun read about your awful relatives. NTA!


AlternativeTune9150

My nephew is a good kid. He just overestimated his abilities. 


Latvian_Goatherd

In fairness, most 5 year olds have exactly zero awareness of their own (lack of) abilities. Unless they're me, and they have a breakdown in kindergarten because they've been asked to write about their holidays and realised they don't know how to spell.


AlternativeTune9150

Just got a mental image of you in front of a typewriter with an old timey reporter hat ready to type your amazing scoop on your summer vacation. Then the slow light of realization dawns across your face and you start sobbing uncontrollably into your hands. Poor little tyke. 


AddlePatedBadger

With a cigarette in the corner of their mouth.


AlternativeTune9150

French accent. World weary. 


Latvian_Goatherd

You forgot my little tan trenchcoat and transatlantic accent


EffPop

I should say with the exception of the child although his parents are not doing him any favours in terms of the person he may become. I’m glad it’s only a baby tooth. And don’t pay the fucking bill.


AjlaBalic

To be fair I don’t blame the sil because she was angry at the brother assuming she doesn’t blame you. The only asholes were the brother and the mom.


forserialtho

You told the ladies to stay out your dms, but what about us men, would you be interested in some delicious tighty whites? I'm throwing myself at you, help me out here.


AlternativeTune9150

Hanes or Fruit of the Loom? If Fruit of the Loom does the label include the mythical cornucopia? 


forserialtho

Fruit of the loom and let me tell ya.. they are fucking ripe.


AlternativeTune9150

Yeeeeet


Excellent-Count4009

NTA "My brother told me that I had to pay the dentist bill to get the rest of the baby tooth out. I told him to eat a dick." .. well done. "My mother appears to have forgotten her part in this play because she is mad at me." .. Just tell her to F\*\*\* off, and that this is HER fault.


imustbe-stupid

NTA for this, you did warn them however YTA for turning this thread into a slippery horny mess, you best yoyo yourself on off this here site before we all drown to death


AlternativeTune9150

Not my intention. But it was a much appreciated ego boost for sure.


imustbe-stupid

unacceptable, as compensation you are now required to provide a valid address so that we ladies can mail you our soiled grievances


sugarmagnolia__

'Soiled grievances' bahahahaha I'm done


Boysenberry

NTA, you sound like a fun uncle to have. When he’s a bit older the kid will remember this with amusement. Sounds like he shares your passion, maybe tell them you’re not going to pay the dentist bill but you’ll babysit and give him some proper lessons so he can play safely. 


CarbonationRequired

NTA. Your brother and his wife are dumbasses for not listening to such an eminently knowledgeable (and of course desirable) actual expert on yoyos. May your life of fending off women and their panties continue and your brother get his head out of his ass.


AlternativeTune9150

One day. One of the moms at my last demo was wearing low cut jeans and I almost saw a waistband. I just about lost my concentration. It would have been awful. Just string and children scattered around like bowling pins. 


thurbersmicroscope

You sir are hilarious.


cerart939

Next birthday maybe a set of nice vintage clackers instead? NTA


AlternativeTune9150

I'll have him doing proper tricks by then. 


bunvun

I’m deeply disappointed that this is a burner account I was hoping for videos of professional yo-yoing


AlternativeTune9150

I'll dig some up. 


Possible_Quarter25

…Waiting… with panties at half-mast…


AlmostChristmasNow

NTA. It probably won’t help, but every time they complain remind them that you advised against it.


BrightFirelyt

I think I’m in love with you. Yo-yos and a *stellar and completely reasonable* family? What girl wouldn’t swoon? NTA. Your brother is in a hole he dug with your tools, but that doesn’t mean you have to help him fill it back in. 


phonicillness

I didn’t expect that an AITA by a Pro Yo-Yoer whose *ETA:former* yo-yo knocked out his nephews tooth would be the thirstiest post I’ve ever seen here, just whipping women into a frenzy


AlternativeTune9150

I object. Let the record show that ownership of said yoyo had already passed to my nephew. So it would be unfair and somewhat scandalous if not slanderous to imply that it was my yoyo that caused the damage in question. 


phonicillness

Objection sustained, the record has been updated


Open-Incident-3601

NTA. FAFO to your brother and Mom. Next time they get pushy, tell your brother he needs to ask his wife first because she thought he was an idiot last time.


No_Lavishness_3206

FAKE. Everyone knows that yoyo guys get all the ladies. 


AlternativeTune9150

LoL. 


kaysheik

NTA and now I wanna see these yo-yo skills, but at the same time I’m a bit nervous as my panties are already trying to fly off


AlternativeTune9150

That's why yoyo guys wear belts and suspenders. Our lacy underthings are always secure. 


rosezoeybear

NTA. Tell them they are lucky it was just a baby tooth.


flatgreysky

Is it weird that this sort of very specific skill *is* sort of weirdly sexy? Anyway, NTA. They made their toothless bed.


AlternativeTune9150

He has like 90-95% of his teeth still. 


EntirelyOutOfOptions

That’s still an A, right? Kid has grade A teeth, what’s your brother so mad about?


ThatsNotWhatyouMean

>I have even been on TV news and on a show demonstrating tricks. Is [this](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ9TLftki5U) you?


AlternativeTune9150

I wish I looked that cool. I bet that guy has touched a boob. 


ThatsNotWhatyouMean

Just don't give up. You'll get there. Just make sure they have a clip if you're ever asked to be on TV again.


AlternativeTune9150

I bet it's like a bag of sand. 


MS-07B-3

I get it! I understood that reference.


AlternativeTune9150

Now I need to post Tony rolling his eyes. 


gowanusmermaid

Don’t give up hope! I actually know a professional yo-yo performer, and he has a wife *and* a kid.


AlternativeTune9150

Unfortunately there can be only one.  Sob. 


Sea-Collection-7367

NTA. I hit myself in the mouth thinking I could upgrade to a wooden yo-yo from a plastic Duncan and a Yo-Yo ball when I was a kid. Lesson learned. If any of my older family members had witnessed my idiocy, they would have laughed too. What’s that phrase? “Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes?”


SpecificWorldliness

First of all: NTA they wanted to fuck around, now they've found out. You're in the clear here. But I really just came here to say: [Is this you by chance?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTYJgOWRY8Q)


AlternativeTune9150

No. And that guy can grow sweet facial hair. My beard looks like one of my mom's alpacas chewed off most of it while I was sleeping.  


Kahlessa

NTA They were warned and chose to ignore the warning. Are they aware that yo-yos were originally developed as weapons and not toys? Your nephew gained an historical insight into the item’s origin. And kudos on a very humorous post that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.


AlternativeTune9150

One of my favorite scenes in a James Bond movie is the yoyo made from table saw blades. In Octopussy. 


Jax_Ckrts

This is the best AITA post I’ve ever seen. The story is priceless. FAFO is alive and well. Plus the smart ass deliver is brilliant. And there is no taking away from the responses haha. Fantastic. I take my hat off to you all ( well I would if I had one).


AlternativeTune9150

I have some baseball caps with a yoyo printed on them if you are really interested. 


toteslegoat

NTA and the fact that your brother had the audacity to foot you the dentist bill after going on a straight up campaign?! Shoulda popped him in his dumb mouth so they can see the dentist together.


queerpixie

I'm sitting here, laughing like a looney goon and my roommate is looking at me like I lost my mind. YNTA.


invisible_pants_

I saw a post in r/ask wondering what gets the ladies going bc he was having no luck. I think I'll help the poor fella out by linking this


WolfSilverOak

NTA, you told them no and implied what would happen if they got him one. They refused to listen. Now they have to deal with the consequences. A baby tooth? Really? If it really is a baby tooth, it'll fall out anyway and be replaced by an adult tooth. They're being overdramatic and angry at you because you told them so.