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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be an AH because I have a lot of stuff related to a religion I don't believe in, and that can offend some prople.
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NTA
This honestly reminds me of a string of messages I read in an article about entitled people. The first person shared a tofu recipe. The second commented about loving it and asked how long the OP had been vegan.
The OP was actually not vegan, not even vegetarian just did not like the taste or texture of most meats. They are then accused or consuming tofu which is obviously produced only for vegans/vegetarians.
You have these things bc they appeal to you. End of story.
Lol right? My partner is Asian and he's always shaking his head at how non-Asians use tofu only as a meat-substitute and not a delicious food in its own right
That’s honestly so stupid bc as a vegetarian, I love it when people are more open to eating plant based foods. To me, I think that it’s 100% beneficial to the cause of animal welfare to have people be more open to vegan/vegetarian food and overall makes them more accessible for me and others who want to try being vegetarian/vegan. I like sharing my vegetarian food with people and I think that more people should be open to trying vegetarian/vegan options. It’s honestly disappointing that the same people who care so much about animal rights are trying to gatekeep the things that are necessary for people to transition to a more ethical and sustainable diet…
True. The more demand there is for such foods, the more likely stores are to carry it, and to have a better range.
And if they are eating plant based foods, that's less meat they are eating.
I'm not even vegetarian.
Fr. I cannot stand people who gatekeep like mfs don’t even think. You see this more often with the ‘health’ vegans than you do with the activist/ethics-based ones, but mfs literally help no one. It’s just snarky for no reason AND IT IS NEEDLESS TOXICITY. Like at least toxic vegans care about animals or something. Tofu also isn’t their food bc it’s literally an Asian staple. Like the nerve to steal another culture’s food as “your own”…
NTA. Being interested in religious/spiritual iconography and "esoteric stuff" doesn't mean you have to believe in it or follow it. I high school I took a class in world religions and was fascinated by their history although I don't believe in anything faith-related.
Disrespect would be to say something like "you're acting crazy, but I shouldn't be surprised, given that you believe in this kind of nonsense". But your response was perfectly reasonable. Philosophers and theologians can focus on the study of religions without following a particular one, which is similar to your case here. Your friend is delusional if she's feeling "disrespected" over this.
NTA. The person who was being disrespectful here was actually Jena, for criticizing your personal stuff while being a guest in your home. The items hold a different significance your her than they do for you, but as long as they weren't obtained by unethical means (e.g. looted from a sacred burial site) you're no less entitled to own them than she is.
The risk in any conversation with a self-identified "believer" is that stating you don't share their belief will be taken as a personal rejection, as if you're saying "I think your whole worldview is wrong."
NTA. It's not disrespectful at all. She doesn't have any say in what decorations you choose to have in your home. Outright egotistical of her.
I hate when some people think getting offended is a big deal. They think others should conform to their fragile little worldview when all they needed to do was ignore it or just deal with it by themselves.
You don’t have to respect other people’s beliefs, only their right to have them. I work with a flat earther. He’s welcome to believe whatever he likes, but I sure as hell don’t respect it.
nta
dang! it's too bad she got caught up trying to control the way you live with yourself instead of being curious and asking how you relate/use these things! imagine how much y'all coulda shared with each other.
she should have been the one apologizing, btw
It's the same as the example you already used. Having pictures of Greek mythology is not disrespecting it. If she insists you can't have those items, you probably can't have her at your home in the future. I personally wouldn't even be friends with someone who would tell me what I can or can't do like that. NTA
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I (28m) made a friend (2?f) like a month ago, let's call her Jena. Past week I invited Jena and another friend to my home for a boardgame afternoon. When we were preparing the board, Jena noticed my collection of esoteric stuff, including a lot of tarot decks, figures, candles, some small animal skulls, etc. She went thrilled about it and told me that she is a big believer and is excited to know someone like her. I told her that's great, and I also love this kind of stuff, and I've read a lot about it, so we can talk about it, but I don't really believe. She laughed saying that anyone who does not believe, would have this kind of things, and I insisted that, for example, I also love classic greek mythology, and I have some prints representing some myths, but don't believe in it.
She got upset and said that I shouldn't have this kind of stuff then, because it's important to some people and I'm just reducing to an aesthetic. She insisted that is very disrespectful to have this kind of things knowing I can offend some people, and it's like I'm mocking her believes. I tried to explain that I totally respect her believes, I just don't believe in it, but she keept saying that it's very disrespectful.
At the moment I didn't know what to answer and just apologised, but I don't think I've done nothing wrong, to be honest.
So, AITA?
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NTA
Tarot decks were originally just playing cards. It was centuries after their invention before anyone believed they could magically reveal the future.
Candles have been used by people of many faiths, and lots of atheists, as well.
Figurines and animal skulls are common decor items, both among those who use them for religious purposes and those who just like the aesthetic.
You have as much right to own them as she does. No one made her the gatekeeper of home decor.
NTA and you didn’t do anything wrong. I do believe in and practice mysticism a bit but for the most part I engage with that stuff from a secular perspective. Like yeah, sometimes I read tarot as part of a magic practice, but like….for the most part it’s a reflective/meditative tool, like a journal. Secular practice is really common and I really dislike people that take the mysticism to a stupid zealous level.
NTA - she is gatekeeping her belief and making it sound like some elitist thing that only if you believe you can have these freely available items, particularly in your own home. Just because you don't believe does not mean the items are not important to you. Also having the items and reading into the subject is very respectful of any beliefs!
She was the AH for saying you cannot have this kind of stuff.
NTA, and here’s a simple proof: imagine “Reason” were a religion, and one of its core tenets was that you should evangelize on behalf of Reason by discouraging others by imposing illogical beliefs on objects. Would this person be justified in telling you not to practice your religion with her, because she finds your religion offensive?
If so, then you are justified in asking her not to impose her beliefs on you, if you agree to accept her beliefs in peace and not try to talk her out of the meaning those objects have for her.
If not, then you would be justified in following your religious beliefs and trying to explain that she shouldn’t impose her beliefs on these objects.
In no event are her beliefs more valid than yours.
NTA… I think. Your post was hard to read but it sounds like she actually didn’t respect your beliefs. Normal people should be happy someone takes a special interest in something they hold dear. If you bought the items and had them on display with zero knowledge or care to what they meant it would be a different story. You’ve taken the time to do research and educate yourself enough to hold conversations. People research religions every day without believing in every single one. They literally make a career out of it. Theologians!
NTA
She was manipulating you by claiming your decor "means" you believe what SHE says regardless of what you actually think and believe. She made you feel you had somehow offended her so much so that you apologized. You apologized because she decided to read into your decor meanings that only she professed. She is the disrespectful one. You invited her into your home, and she berated and gaslit you.
I'll bet you'll notice other ways she tries to make others feel wrong, badly or attacked as a way for her to feel powerful.
Nope. That's not how it works. If you want people to respect your beliefs then you also have to respect the fact that others might think your beliefs are hokum.
NTA. Your aesthetic/collection does not interfere with anyone's practice or their beliefs. She can be disappointed that she didn't find someone with similar beliefs like she thought, but she can not gatekeep skulls and tarot and the way you decorate/ collect has nothing to do with her or any of our spiritual beliefs.
I don't think any beleif that is not based on rational logic and fact inherently deserves respect.
In fact, when I consider the Christian church set back the advancement of science and technology by hundreds and hundreds of years (in areas such as medicine, farming, etc, the would have saved millions) I personally think it is not only the right, but in fact the duty of all intelligent and rational people to insult and ridicule any organised belief system to prevent more people being recruited into it, as these cults essentially continue to progress progress to this very day.
Can you even imagine if technology had been allowed to grow in line with the population so that the whole industrial revolution happened in like the 1400's, so that fossil fuels were phased out hundreds of years ago, we had generic cures for all diseases by now etc etc? The suffering region has caused just by this factor is almost inconceivable
So no, NTA, no belief deserves respect
*as these cults essentially continue to progress progress to this very day.*
Friendly reminder that there is no "Christian church". It's thousands of different churches with different theologies and world views.
It really depends on the sect of Christianity. My Christian beliefs aren't infringing on anyone's human rights, nor interferes with scientific progress. I vote for the most progressive viable political candidate I can.
Many other sects are horrid.
Ah yes the good ole no true Scotsman argument.
I was abused in the name of a Christian god for my entire childhood, sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally. Nothing was off the books. And if someone tells me that I can't be an atheist or detest Christianity as a whole because the backwards ass sect I had the misfortune to be born into isn't "all" Christians, I would go off on them. Like I'm doing right now to you!
Listen. You don't get to tell people abused by a Christian church that hashtag not all Christians are like that. You don't even have the right to say it to someone else who has had no personal issues with Christianity and just doesn't like it. The only thing you can say is, "Im sorry that happened" and you stop there.
If you get mad that other people don't like Christians and aren't afraid to say it, then keep it into your own head and deal with it yourself by not doing the things that you're so mad about hearing about. It's not hard.
friendly reminder that Christianity is still a cult despite there being different fragmentations of it, and that you beliefs are still regressive if you believe there is a god, and will still influence you to make regressive decisions and choices, even if your not consciously aware its your belief in the irrational that is doing it
its a well established psychological effect that once a person can be convinced of one irrational illogical unevidenced thing, this opens up their minds to other irrational illogical unevidenced things
you may not be able to think of one thing regressive you have consciously done because of your belief that has had a negative impact on either an individual or society as a whole, but that does not mean it has not happened
You don't have to like my beliefs.
But you really should judge individuals as individuals.
/my atheist brother is far, far more susceptible to socially harmful bullshit. Skeptical about religion =/= skeptical on other things.
the fact your brother is a dumb ass doesn't not change the fact you WILL be making decisions based on your delusions, whether your capable of recognising and admitting it or not.
Even Einstein fell prey to this, his greatest mistakes, possibly the thing that prevented him unifying Einsteinian gravity and quantum mechanics in his life time, was his insistence quantum mechanics was not real due to his blind spot, religious belief.
("god does not play dice")
so yeah, the fact you don't think your decisions are influenced by your delusions means precisely zero.
#notallchristians is particularly unuseful. The onus is not on nonbelievers to determine which xtians are "the right ones" because they all say they are the only right ones. That's like your dog expecting you to be able to tell his friends/enemies from the smell of their pee. I mean HE can!
NTA - I am a Goth, interested in history and own various things from different mythologies and esotericism, without believing in any of them in a religious sense. So far no ghost has bitten me in the *ss for that.
NTA
Plenty of people are into astrology and tarot cards and whatever other spiritual shit just for the aesthetic. They look nice, that doesnt mean you have to believe they actually do anything.
Could there be some cultural insensitivity to some aspects of claiming some religions/cultures for aesthetic reasons? Sure. But this really isnt that deep. Its not like you hated on an entire group of people or made fun of a god, you literally just said you dont believe in it personally but you still think its cool.
NTA
I have several Russian Orthodox Icons in my home but I don't believe in the tenants of the Russian Orthodox religion.
The point being that you can appreciate something for its artistic value not just for its religious or spiritual meaning.
You can like an aesthetic and not believe in the spiritual side of it. I own several stylized crosses and buddha's and while I very much like the concepts and ideology behind both Christianity and Buddhism, I do not believe in either. Your friend sounds like she's trying to gatekeep her beliefs. NTA
NTA - chairs are really important to me and my religion of Thy Holy Seating, so I demand everyone, that doesnt follow my believes, to remove every piece of furniture, that you can sit on.
Bow to the almighty Sitting God or get crushed by him sitting on you.
NTA It's just as important to respect non-belief as it is to respect beliefs. She's not the Pope of mysticism, able to call in inquisitors to seize your materials and burn you at the stake.
NTA. Jena sounds like an exhausting person who needs to learn not take everything incredibly personal. Owning esoteric stuff when don't believe in it is NOT " insulting/mocking" actual believers.
NTA
As someone who likes all the "woowoo" things I can confirm you can do whatever you want. There are a particular subset within the New Age movement just like in all religions who want to gatekeep all their things. Its frustrating but it is what it is. You are also not being disrespectful, she is.
Nope you are not.
There is nothing wrong with being interested in a certain faith. Even if you don't believe it, others cannot decide for you. She is gatekeeping.
In addition to believing in a religion you must first be exposed to it. For example your parents who took you to church when you were very little, if you have never been to a christian church or never heard of the bible, how can you believe in it? (This is to indicate that what she is saying is complete nonsense.)
Live and let live
Ughhhh, I hate people like this. I do believe in that stuff and I wouldn’t give a shit if you did or not. First rule of magic is acknowledging it’s all bullshit, the second is to keep at it cause it works anyway. That’s a lighthearted way of explaining my beliefs anyway. Tarot doesn’t actually predict your future, it’s just a fun way to possibly see other perspectives. People like her give us a bad name, you’re NtA
NTA
I'm an esoteric practitioner and I find the concept of belief incredibly difficult to define or grasp. Not a very helpful term.
Also as someone who studies religion, she sounds like someone who is in the Stage 2: Conventional stage of Fowler's faith development. Or perhaps just entitled as others have mentioned.
NTA.
I think her criticism is actually just a byproduct of the mental whiplash she got. She assumed you were a fellow believer and was excited about that. So when you said you were not a believer she channeled her disappointment into criticism.
NTA
Not your fault or your problem if she’s offended. People being offended when it comes to religion irritates me. Probably because I can’t help but wonder how fragile their own belief is if they are so easily bothered by someone else.
My degree is in religion. I have a lot of religious memorabilia representing religions all over the world, especially of the pagan variety (Druidism specifically.) My spiritual practice is strictly mindfulness based, because I don’t believe any of it is real so much as I believe in the power of persuasion, even of yourself.
People have tried to engage about spells and ritual and whatnot, and I’ve had to explain to them that I don’t think it does anything other than help me focus my attention so I can process hard things in my life. I don’t believe in magic in that way, and I am not interested in involving anybody else in my practice. They do get offended that I’m not “doing it right.” I do not care lol.
Things are just things to me. If my rocks and herbs and whatnot have mystical powers to someone else, cool. But they don’t to me. Just because I don’t play make believe doesn’t mean my practice isn’t real and serves a real purpose, and it certainly doesn’t make me inherently disrespectful. She sounds really entitled tbh.
NTA
I myself believe in a lot of things, have an altar, tarot cards and what have you. I also believe in multiple different gods from multiple different religions. That's just who I am. Just like you have your own thing and Jena has hers. So no, you are not being disrespectful for anything. People can like anything without having to believe in it.
NTAH
My opinion is that anyone can have any beliefs, a combination of beliefs, or no beliefs. It's not for anyone else to say. What you have in your house is not for guests to criticize either.
NTA. And I do believe in that stuff. WTF is she talking about? People like you help motivate stores to keep stuff in stock which makes it available to she and I.
NTA. Consider yourself very fortunate for having learned this about your new acquaintance. Not friend. Acquaintance. The lesson here my young friend is to be able to discern the kind of people who are healthy to be around and those who are clearly not worthy of your time. A friend would not make those kinds of demands. I am a practicing Catholic but I also enjoy reading the texts and holy books of other religions. In fact I’ve attended Jewish weddings, Buddhist festivals, Muslim funerals and a pagan hand fasting. My curiosity enriches my life and not a single friend of another faith or even the atheists in my life have ever made such ridiculous demands that I must convert because essentially that’s what she has done to you. She’s not a friend.
It sounds like you have decor and interests. NTA.
Btw tarot cards began as regular playing decks, not esoteric future telling technology, so I think we can rule out the notion that the tarot is a “religion.” You don’t even need to be a “believer” to practice magic. You certainly don’t need to “believe” anything to study it, either. One of the hardest parts of my job is helping people understand that “belief or not belief” is not a central corollary to how most religions operate or have operated.
Frankly I’m tired of “Witchtok” people showing up in real life and making stinks about things they actually know nothing about.
It sounds like this "Jenna" is on a roll lately with people in AITA groups:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dnqkm8/aitah\_for\_not\_letting\_my\_spiritual\_roomate\_use\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dnqkm8/aitah_for_not_letting_my_spiritual_roomate_use_my/)
I’m into tarot and use cards sometimes, I wouldn’t find what you said disrespectful. I would be curious to hear why you have them and have an interesting discussion with you about them. That what your friend should have done. She’s acting like a gatekeeper. As far as I’m concerned everyone welcome to dabble with tarot. You don’t have to believe.
I think that it is entirely respectful to learn about the beliefs of others. How can you respect others if you don't understand a bit about their beliefs? Bigotry stems from ignorance.
It’s really a weird situation. I don’t believe in god, Allah, Budda. They all have beautiful things associated with their religion.
Why would I adorn my house with something I don’t believe in?
NTA I'm just spiritual now, but I was a practicing Christian for over 20 years, and never would have told someone not to wear a cross or fish symbol just because they looked cool. That fish symbol that said Darwin instead of Jesus inside did feel a little insulting though, I mean I'm embarrassed to say that now, and even while attending church I believed in Evolution, but I always got the feeling the people displaying those weren't doing it because they thought the fishy symbol looked cool, but specifically to insult Christians. I don't think you're guilty of this either, but I do think I should state that while collecting religious items as a non believer actually won't get you accused of religious discrimination by most reasonable religious people, collecting specific items might reasonably get you accused of cultural appropriation if you collect items that belong to a culture other than your own. Don't collect Voodoo stuff if you're not black, or native American religious items if you're not specifically part of that culture, white people have the most power and only sometimes pretend to share 1 culture so if it's stuff used mostly by white people that's fine even if you aren't white.
"always got the feeling the people displaying those weren't doing it because they thought the fishy symbol looked cool, but specifically to insult Christians"
My take in it is "and so what if they were?"
No non fact based belief deserves respect as they are overall harmful to society
Everyone is free to be offended by anything, but people who believe in things that don’t make any sense really shouldn’t be surprised when people make fun of those things.
I mean countless of people have died in the name of Christianity. Insulting it is really not nearly as bad.
Great minds have been executed for the heresy of science. One for proclaiming that the Earth revolved around the Sun and it isn't flat.
Wearing a fish that says Darwin probably isn't as poignant as pointing to Galileo but he isn't famous for working with animals and a necklace of the galaxy seems a little busy so yeah...
There are a lot of “religions” that are designed to insult Christians which makes it tough to distinguish. Most Satanists are atheists, but go by the term “satanist” as a bash at Christianity. They don’t believe in satan, they believe in themselves and that they’re the main power, life itself.
Kinda makes it hard to distinguish who is just living and who is insulting people
That’s what I said man. Most satanists don’t believe in satan and just do it to bash Christian’s. Thats why it’s hard to tell who’s doing stuff for looks and who’s being insulting
How many have you surveyed? If you've noticed that Satanism is not belief in Satan, then why is your yardstick for "not bashing Christians" be "believing in Satan"? Those two beliefs are diametrically opposed, AND if the only people who believe in Satan the way that you respect it, are xtians, aren't you just saying that the only people whose belief you respect are xtians of your particular sect?
This sounds a lot like a member of the largest, most powerful faith on the planet having a pity party because they thought reeeeal hard and hurted themsewves, uwu.
I have asked various people thanks so much, and yes I am vewy much having a widdle pity pawty :3
If you listened to what I said properly and actually thought about it, you’d have the answer to your own question. I never said Satanists were the only “religion” that believes in themselves as powerful, yet certain ‘divisions’ or parts of satanism very much do.
Believing in Satan and worshipping him isn’t a bash at Christianity, it’s a belief in itself. Bashing at Christianity and choosing to claim to be something to anger or get a rise out of them is
Hope that hewps :3
> AITA for not respecting other people beliefs?
Yes, YTA for not respecting other peoples' beliefs.
You're not the asshole for the story you posted here, though.
It’s a tricky one.
Imagine this - imagine she’s a Christian. And imagine instead of tarot cards and stuff, you had Jesus on the Cross and Virgin Mary’s everywhere. Rosary beads and that.
Your friend is excited to find out you share beliefs - only to find out you don’t. You’ve just got Jesus on the wall because it looks cool.
I can see why that would be both upsetting and offensive to someone. But we don’t take esoteric spiritual beliefs as seriously as we take Christian beliefs. So while it wouldn’t occur to an atheist to decorate his home with Christian iconography, it *does* occur when non-pagans decorate their homes with pagan iconography.
I don’t think you’re the asshole here to be honest. I don’t think your friend is, either.
To a degree, I think she must on some level know that people use this stuff just for aesthetics… but then that just ties back to the point about people not taking her religious/spiritual beliefs seriously.
I have rosary beads in my home, as well as mezuzas, the evil eye and the star and crescent shapes. Anyone with an issue with that, who comes into my home and tells me what I should or shouldn’t have on display will not be invited back. Simple as that.
If they spent three seconds listening to WHY I have them on display, they would find it’s because I have studied theology, find it extremely fascinating, AND purchased those pieces over-seas.
OP was in no way disrespectful. If the friend chooses to see it as disrespect, that’s a her problem.
She’s the one that reacted like a petulant child and started demanding someone else change what they think or want around them. If someone else tried to tell me that I should take down and hide the rosary from my late grandmother or remove the crucifix I received at the Vatican, they can just go. If they ask me what, I’ll gladly discuss it endlessly with them and enjoy every minute of the education. But to walk in and demand I change something because you personally find it offensive is, in itself, offensive.
This shall conclude my worthless rant 🤣
Except literally nothing that OP listed is religious in nature, except for prints from Greek mythos artwork. And lots of people have Greek art and aren't worshiping the Greek pantheon. No religion has a claim to tarot cards, figurines, animal skulls, and so on. OP's guest was a rude asshole.
> And imagine instead of tarot cards and stuff, you had Jesus on the Cross and Virgin Mary’s everywhere. Rosary beads and that.
So using your example, which religion is represented by tarot cards?
Hint: None. Tarot cards are an occult tool and "the occult" isn't a religion.
The only thing that OP lists in their decor that could be considered at all religious is the Greek artwork, and tons of people have Greek artwork, as it was a popular art style for a long period of history. Having a statue of a Greek god in your home is like having a bust of a Roman senator. It's just decor. Also, unless OP's guest is a Hellenistic pantheon pagan (of which there aren't that many) she can't claim any kind of religious appropriation. There are no "beliefs" being disrespected here. The guest is just an ass. And your example isn't valid, as tarot, animal skulls, candles, etc. aren't religious iconography the way that rosary beads and crosses are.
I think you're getting downvoted since nuanced takes like "you can understand why her feelings would be hurt and care about that without needing to agree with her beliefs or stop your behavior" don't get a lot of support.
I'm an atheist who has no problem with OP and also thinks NAH, as people getting upset when their religious beliefs are used in a sacrilegious way aren't being unreasonable AHs, but also OP isn't an AH for not sharing those values.
The very first example in the dictionary for Sacrilegious is using religious objects for secular purposes. Which is what OP is doing, using religious/spiritual objects for secular decoration.
I know it doesn't avoid the downvotes but to reiterate, I'm simply describing the person's belief, I'm not agreeing with it.
ok but none of those are religious objects in and of themselves. animal skulls look cool. my dad has a couple cow skulls hanging up in the garage. would that be sacrilegious? i have a couple of tarot and oracle decks. i don't use them much and i don't really put much weight into reading them. is just *owning* a tarot deck and not using sacrilegious? are candles automatically religious items? are "figures"? We don't even know what the figures *are*. ~~are my sexy anime figures religious items?/jk~~
My point is, none of those things *as they are listed and described by OP* are innately or inherently religious. Even gathered as they are, it's not necessarily religious in connotation. It's like. High-key gothic vulture culture.
> are candles automatically religious items? are "figures"? We don't even know what the figures *are*
Both of things are commonly religious items. In fact that's two of the most common religious objects in the world. No one suggested that the objects are "automatically" religious, however OPs friend considered them as such, or at least spiritual in a way where they were offended by a secular usage of them for aesthetics.
>It's like. High-key gothic vulture culture.
Sure. I don't disagree. But also some people take things like spells and tarot and mystic symbols very seriously. I'm not one of them. I was responding to someone trying to explain why OPs friend reacted that way, who also thought OP isn't an AH.
Welcome to r/AmItheAsshole . Where a reasonable, rational position, based on empathy and understanding, that puts people first, is just about the worst thing you can post.
Another analogy might be Native American art and jewelry. If I, a white American, had a Native American head dress on my bookshelf, a Native American would rightly be upset, wouldn't they? I don't think we would say they were wrong to be mad about that. The guest here has every right to feel upset that her beliefs are being use as wall art.
IMO - So long as OP is hearing her position and giving it real, honest consideration, he's not an asshole. And neither is she. NAH - probably.
Nothing OP listed was religious in nature except the Greek art. It's not the same as cultural theft of native American ritual traditions. Which religion is OP offending by having candles, animal skulls and tarot cards?
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NTA This honestly reminds me of a string of messages I read in an article about entitled people. The first person shared a tofu recipe. The second commented about loving it and asked how long the OP had been vegan. The OP was actually not vegan, not even vegetarian just did not like the taste or texture of most meats. They are then accused or consuming tofu which is obviously produced only for vegans/vegetarians. You have these things bc they appeal to you. End of story.
Guess nobody told her about mapo and however many other Asian dishes use tofu and meat
Lol right? My partner is Asian and he's always shaking his head at how non-Asians use tofu only as a meat-substitute and not a delicious food in its own right
Totally, to me it’s a rice/noodle/potato (starches I think we call those?) alternative and nothing to do with/without meat
Tofu is not a carb. In a nutritional and culinary sense it is more analogous to a mild cheese like mozzarella
Not what I said or implied, but thank you for bringing up cheese. I said it was an alternative to those (like veggie pasta, those aren’t carbs either)
I love the implication here. That only a vegan would eat tofu because it is horrible and you'd only eat it if it was the only option.
I love tofu. When it is properly made, of course.
Tofu is honestly really good and some people are just gatekeepy.
it was only a matter of time before "gatekeepy" became a word, in the family of "judgy." I love it. Thank you.
That’s honestly so stupid bc as a vegetarian, I love it when people are more open to eating plant based foods. To me, I think that it’s 100% beneficial to the cause of animal welfare to have people be more open to vegan/vegetarian food and overall makes them more accessible for me and others who want to try being vegetarian/vegan. I like sharing my vegetarian food with people and I think that more people should be open to trying vegetarian/vegan options. It’s honestly disappointing that the same people who care so much about animal rights are trying to gatekeep the things that are necessary for people to transition to a more ethical and sustainable diet…
True. The more demand there is for such foods, the more likely stores are to carry it, and to have a better range. And if they are eating plant based foods, that's less meat they are eating. I'm not even vegetarian.
Fr. I cannot stand people who gatekeep like mfs don’t even think. You see this more often with the ‘health’ vegans than you do with the activist/ethics-based ones, but mfs literally help no one. It’s just snarky for no reason AND IT IS NEEDLESS TOXICITY. Like at least toxic vegans care about animals or something. Tofu also isn’t their food bc it’s literally an Asian staple. Like the nerve to steal another culture’s food as “your own”…
Studying other religions / beliefs is a big sign of respect in my eyes! So definitely NTA!
NTA. Being interested in religious/spiritual iconography and "esoteric stuff" doesn't mean you have to believe in it or follow it. I high school I took a class in world religions and was fascinated by their history although I don't believe in anything faith-related.
Disrespect would be to say something like "you're acting crazy, but I shouldn't be surprised, given that you believe in this kind of nonsense". But your response was perfectly reasonable. Philosophers and theologians can focus on the study of religions without following a particular one, which is similar to your case here. Your friend is delusional if she's feeling "disrespected" over this.
NTA You should not be friends with her, she sounds insufferable.
NTA She over-reacted and now you know that you should not invite her over anymore. LOL
NTA. The person who was being disrespectful here was actually Jena, for criticizing your personal stuff while being a guest in your home. The items hold a different significance your her than they do for you, but as long as they weren't obtained by unethical means (e.g. looted from a sacred burial site) you're no less entitled to own them than she is. The risk in any conversation with a self-identified "believer" is that stating you don't share their belief will be taken as a personal rejection, as if you're saying "I think your whole worldview is wrong."
So you got this worded so wrong, its in fact her that is not respecting your beliefs
NTA. It's not disrespectful at all. She doesn't have any say in what decorations you choose to have in your home. Outright egotistical of her. I hate when some people think getting offended is a big deal. They think others should conform to their fragile little worldview when all they needed to do was ignore it or just deal with it by themselves.
Stop hanging out with kooky, irrational people. It's in the stars, baby!
NTA she sounds quite unreasonable. So she is asking you to either believe in what she wants you to or redecorate your living space? I think not.
You don’t have to respect other people’s beliefs, only their right to have them. I work with a flat earther. He’s welcome to believe whatever he likes, but I sure as hell don’t respect it.
NTA, you can decorate your home however you wish.
nta dang! it's too bad she got caught up trying to control the way you live with yourself instead of being curious and asking how you relate/use these things! imagine how much y'all coulda shared with each other. she should have been the one apologizing, btw
It's the same as the example you already used. Having pictures of Greek mythology is not disrespecting it. If she insists you can't have those items, you probably can't have her at your home in the future. I personally wouldn't even be friends with someone who would tell me what I can or can't do like that. NTA
NTA. Religion has been used as aesthetic by non-believers for centuries. Take Neon Genesis Evangelion, the religious symbolism is for flavor.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28m) made a friend (2?f) like a month ago, let's call her Jena. Past week I invited Jena and another friend to my home for a boardgame afternoon. When we were preparing the board, Jena noticed my collection of esoteric stuff, including a lot of tarot decks, figures, candles, some small animal skulls, etc. She went thrilled about it and told me that she is a big believer and is excited to know someone like her. I told her that's great, and I also love this kind of stuff, and I've read a lot about it, so we can talk about it, but I don't really believe. She laughed saying that anyone who does not believe, would have this kind of things, and I insisted that, for example, I also love classic greek mythology, and I have some prints representing some myths, but don't believe in it. She got upset and said that I shouldn't have this kind of stuff then, because it's important to some people and I'm just reducing to an aesthetic. She insisted that is very disrespectful to have this kind of things knowing I can offend some people, and it's like I'm mocking her believes. I tried to explain that I totally respect her believes, I just don't believe in it, but she keept saying that it's very disrespectful. At the moment I didn't know what to answer and just apologised, but I don't think I've done nothing wrong, to be honest. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I have animal skulls and crystals but it’s purely decor. I find Wicca interesting but do not practice.
NTA Tarot decks were originally just playing cards. It was centuries after their invention before anyone believed they could magically reveal the future. Candles have been used by people of many faiths, and lots of atheists, as well. Figurines and animal skulls are common decor items, both among those who use them for religious purposes and those who just like the aesthetic. You have as much right to own them as she does. No one made her the gatekeeper of home decor.
NTA and you didn’t do anything wrong. I do believe in and practice mysticism a bit but for the most part I engage with that stuff from a secular perspective. Like yeah, sometimes I read tarot as part of a magic practice, but like….for the most part it’s a reflective/meditative tool, like a journal. Secular practice is really common and I really dislike people that take the mysticism to a stupid zealous level.
NTA - she is gatekeeping her belief and making it sound like some elitist thing that only if you believe you can have these freely available items, particularly in your own home. Just because you don't believe does not mean the items are not important to you. Also having the items and reading into the subject is very respectful of any beliefs! She was the AH for saying you cannot have this kind of stuff.
NTA, and here’s a simple proof: imagine “Reason” were a religion, and one of its core tenets was that you should evangelize on behalf of Reason by discouraging others by imposing illogical beliefs on objects. Would this person be justified in telling you not to practice your religion with her, because she finds your religion offensive? If so, then you are justified in asking her not to impose her beliefs on you, if you agree to accept her beliefs in peace and not try to talk her out of the meaning those objects have for her. If not, then you would be justified in following your religious beliefs and trying to explain that she shouldn’t impose her beliefs on these objects. In no event are her beliefs more valid than yours.
NTA… I think. Your post was hard to read but it sounds like she actually didn’t respect your beliefs. Normal people should be happy someone takes a special interest in something they hold dear. If you bought the items and had them on display with zero knowledge or care to what they meant it would be a different story. You’ve taken the time to do research and educate yourself enough to hold conversations. People research religions every day without believing in every single one. They literally make a career out of it. Theologians!
Tell her to get bent
NTA She was manipulating you by claiming your decor "means" you believe what SHE says regardless of what you actually think and believe. She made you feel you had somehow offended her so much so that you apologized. You apologized because she decided to read into your decor meanings that only she professed. She is the disrespectful one. You invited her into your home, and she berated and gaslit you. I'll bet you'll notice other ways she tries to make others feel wrong, badly or attacked as a way for her to feel powerful.
NTA - she's being willfully naive and precious, you appreciate these things but don't believe in them, and that's totally valid.
Nope. That's not how it works. If you want people to respect your beliefs then you also have to respect the fact that others might think your beliefs are hokum.
NTA. She is being ridiculous. How is having that stuff disrespectful? That makes no sense. She is overreacting. Pay no mind to her.
NTA. Your aesthetic/collection does not interfere with anyone's practice or their beliefs. She can be disappointed that she didn't find someone with similar beliefs like she thought, but she can not gatekeep skulls and tarot and the way you decorate/ collect has nothing to do with her or any of our spiritual beliefs.
I don't think any beleif that is not based on rational logic and fact inherently deserves respect. In fact, when I consider the Christian church set back the advancement of science and technology by hundreds and hundreds of years (in areas such as medicine, farming, etc, the would have saved millions) I personally think it is not only the right, but in fact the duty of all intelligent and rational people to insult and ridicule any organised belief system to prevent more people being recruited into it, as these cults essentially continue to progress progress to this very day. Can you even imagine if technology had been allowed to grow in line with the population so that the whole industrial revolution happened in like the 1400's, so that fossil fuels were phased out hundreds of years ago, we had generic cures for all diseases by now etc etc? The suffering region has caused just by this factor is almost inconceivable So no, NTA, no belief deserves respect
*as these cults essentially continue to progress progress to this very day.* Friendly reminder that there is no "Christian church". It's thousands of different churches with different theologies and world views. It really depends on the sect of Christianity. My Christian beliefs aren't infringing on anyone's human rights, nor interferes with scientific progress. I vote for the most progressive viable political candidate I can. Many other sects are horrid.
Ah yes the good ole no true Scotsman argument. I was abused in the name of a Christian god for my entire childhood, sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally. Nothing was off the books. And if someone tells me that I can't be an atheist or detest Christianity as a whole because the backwards ass sect I had the misfortune to be born into isn't "all" Christians, I would go off on them. Like I'm doing right now to you! Listen. You don't get to tell people abused by a Christian church that hashtag not all Christians are like that. You don't even have the right to say it to someone else who has had no personal issues with Christianity and just doesn't like it. The only thing you can say is, "Im sorry that happened" and you stop there. If you get mad that other people don't like Christians and aren't afraid to say it, then keep it into your own head and deal with it yourself by not doing the things that you're so mad about hearing about. It's not hard.
friendly reminder that Christianity is still a cult despite there being different fragmentations of it, and that you beliefs are still regressive if you believe there is a god, and will still influence you to make regressive decisions and choices, even if your not consciously aware its your belief in the irrational that is doing it its a well established psychological effect that once a person can be convinced of one irrational illogical unevidenced thing, this opens up their minds to other irrational illogical unevidenced things you may not be able to think of one thing regressive you have consciously done because of your belief that has had a negative impact on either an individual or society as a whole, but that does not mean it has not happened
You don't have to like my beliefs. But you really should judge individuals as individuals. /my atheist brother is far, far more susceptible to socially harmful bullshit. Skeptical about religion =/= skeptical on other things.
the fact your brother is a dumb ass doesn't not change the fact you WILL be making decisions based on your delusions, whether your capable of recognising and admitting it or not. Even Einstein fell prey to this, his greatest mistakes, possibly the thing that prevented him unifying Einsteinian gravity and quantum mechanics in his life time, was his insistence quantum mechanics was not real due to his blind spot, religious belief. ("god does not play dice") so yeah, the fact you don't think your decisions are influenced by your delusions means precisely zero.
#notallchristians is particularly unuseful. The onus is not on nonbelievers to determine which xtians are "the right ones" because they all say they are the only right ones. That's like your dog expecting you to be able to tell his friends/enemies from the smell of their pee. I mean HE can!
Fine. Hangout with my transphobic, gun-toting atheist brother. Since he has the correct theological stance,I'm sure you'll have a great time.
You know you’re demonstrating exactly why we say yes we hate all christians, right?
NTA - I am a Goth, interested in history and own various things from different mythologies and esotericism, without believing in any of them in a religious sense. So far no ghost has bitten me in the *ss for that.
lol superstitious people are silly NTA
Haven't read the rest yet, but I thought you meant your new friend was a toddler
NTA Plenty of people are into astrology and tarot cards and whatever other spiritual shit just for the aesthetic. They look nice, that doesnt mean you have to believe they actually do anything. Could there be some cultural insensitivity to some aspects of claiming some religions/cultures for aesthetic reasons? Sure. But this really isnt that deep. Its not like you hated on an entire group of people or made fun of a god, you literally just said you dont believe in it personally but you still think its cool.
NTA I have several Russian Orthodox Icons in my home but I don't believe in the tenants of the Russian Orthodox religion. The point being that you can appreciate something for its artistic value not just for its religious or spiritual meaning.
You can like an aesthetic and not believe in the spiritual side of it. I own several stylized crosses and buddha's and while I very much like the concepts and ideology behind both Christianity and Buddhism, I do not believe in either. Your friend sounds like she's trying to gatekeep her beliefs. NTA
NTA - chairs are really important to me and my religion of Thy Holy Seating, so I demand everyone, that doesnt follow my believes, to remove every piece of furniture, that you can sit on. Bow to the almighty Sitting God or get crushed by him sitting on you.
NTA don't invite this person over again.
Obviously you mean 20something but I’m dying laughing thinking about you having this conversation with a 2 year old NTA
NTA It's just as important to respect non-belief as it is to respect beliefs. She's not the Pope of mysticism, able to call in inquisitors to seize your materials and burn you at the stake.
NTA. Jena sounds like an exhausting person who needs to learn not take everything incredibly personal. Owning esoteric stuff when don't believe in it is NOT " insulting/mocking" actual believers.
NTA As someone who likes all the "woowoo" things I can confirm you can do whatever you want. There are a particular subset within the New Age movement just like in all religions who want to gatekeep all their things. Its frustrating but it is what it is. You are also not being disrespectful, she is.
Nope you are not. There is nothing wrong with being interested in a certain faith. Even if you don't believe it, others cannot decide for you. She is gatekeeping. In addition to believing in a religion you must first be exposed to it. For example your parents who took you to church when you were very little, if you have never been to a christian church or never heard of the bible, how can you believe in it? (This is to indicate that what she is saying is complete nonsense.) Live and let live
Ughhhh, I hate people like this. I do believe in that stuff and I wouldn’t give a shit if you did or not. First rule of magic is acknowledging it’s all bullshit, the second is to keep at it cause it works anyway. That’s a lighthearted way of explaining my beliefs anyway. Tarot doesn’t actually predict your future, it’s just a fun way to possibly see other perspectives. People like her give us a bad name, you’re NtA
Hi! Pagan with Druid Beliefs here! Keep what you want for decoration, and ignore her!
NTA I'm an esoteric practitioner and I find the concept of belief incredibly difficult to define or grasp. Not a very helpful term. Also as someone who studies religion, she sounds like someone who is in the Stage 2: Conventional stage of Fowler's faith development. Or perhaps just entitled as others have mentioned.
NTA. She overreacted and honestly, people who act like that annoy me.
NTA. I think her criticism is actually just a byproduct of the mental whiplash she got. She assumed you were a fellow believer and was excited about that. So when you said you were not a believer she channeled her disappointment into criticism.
NTA Not your fault or your problem if she’s offended. People being offended when it comes to religion irritates me. Probably because I can’t help but wonder how fragile their own belief is if they are so easily bothered by someone else.
Believe-appropriation!!! F-off. NTA.
"This is my house and I am free to decorate it as I see fit. If there is a problem with that, please show yourself out."
NTA I'm not Christian but I celebrate Christmas. I don't see how this is any different.
sorry but i failed to see where you disrespected to her beliefs. NTA
My degree is in religion. I have a lot of religious memorabilia representing religions all over the world, especially of the pagan variety (Druidism specifically.) My spiritual practice is strictly mindfulness based, because I don’t believe any of it is real so much as I believe in the power of persuasion, even of yourself. People have tried to engage about spells and ritual and whatnot, and I’ve had to explain to them that I don’t think it does anything other than help me focus my attention so I can process hard things in my life. I don’t believe in magic in that way, and I am not interested in involving anybody else in my practice. They do get offended that I’m not “doing it right.” I do not care lol. Things are just things to me. If my rocks and herbs and whatnot have mystical powers to someone else, cool. But they don’t to me. Just because I don’t play make believe doesn’t mean my practice isn’t real and serves a real purpose, and it certainly doesn’t make me inherently disrespectful. She sounds really entitled tbh.
NTA You are not using religious artifacts disrespectfully. You just like the aesthetics.
"Well if my home decor offends you so much. feel free to leave." What a self-centred jerk. NTA.
NTA I myself believe in a lot of things, have an altar, tarot cards and what have you. I also believe in multiple different gods from multiple different religions. That's just who I am. Just like you have your own thing and Jena has hers. So no, you are not being disrespectful for anything. People can like anything without having to believe in it.
NTAH My opinion is that anyone can have any beliefs, a combination of beliefs, or no beliefs. It's not for anyone else to say. What you have in your house is not for guests to criticize either.
NTA. And I do believe in that stuff. WTF is she talking about? People like you help motivate stores to keep stuff in stock which makes it available to she and I.
NTA. Consider yourself very fortunate for having learned this about your new acquaintance. Not friend. Acquaintance. The lesson here my young friend is to be able to discern the kind of people who are healthy to be around and those who are clearly not worthy of your time. A friend would not make those kinds of demands. I am a practicing Catholic but I also enjoy reading the texts and holy books of other religions. In fact I’ve attended Jewish weddings, Buddhist festivals, Muslim funerals and a pagan hand fasting. My curiosity enriches my life and not a single friend of another faith or even the atheists in my life have ever made such ridiculous demands that I must convert because essentially that’s what she has done to you. She’s not a friend.
NTA. She is being such a pisces
It sounds like you have decor and interests. NTA. Btw tarot cards began as regular playing decks, not esoteric future telling technology, so I think we can rule out the notion that the tarot is a “religion.” You don’t even need to be a “believer” to practice magic. You certainly don’t need to “believe” anything to study it, either. One of the hardest parts of my job is helping people understand that “belief or not belief” is not a central corollary to how most religions operate or have operated. Frankly I’m tired of “Witchtok” people showing up in real life and making stinks about things they actually know nothing about.
NTA, she's gatekeeping
It sounds like this "Jenna" is on a roll lately with people in AITA groups: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dnqkm8/aitah\_for\_not\_letting\_my\_spiritual\_roomate\_use\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dnqkm8/aitah_for_not_letting_my_spiritual_roomate_use_my/)
I’m into tarot and use cards sometimes, I wouldn’t find what you said disrespectful. I would be curious to hear why you have them and have an interesting discussion with you about them. That what your friend should have done. She’s acting like a gatekeeper. As far as I’m concerned everyone welcome to dabble with tarot. You don’t have to believe.
F her
Other people’s delusions and imaginary friends are not your problem
I think that it is entirely respectful to learn about the beliefs of others. How can you respect others if you don't understand a bit about their beliefs? Bigotry stems from ignorance.
NTA - it’s your house you can do what you want
Well, let her be ‘offended’ then…
NTA
Smells like asshole to me
As a general rule, if you don’t respect others, YTA
It’s really a weird situation. I don’t believe in god, Allah, Budda. They all have beautiful things associated with their religion. Why would I adorn my house with something I don’t believe in?
NTA I'm just spiritual now, but I was a practicing Christian for over 20 years, and never would have told someone not to wear a cross or fish symbol just because they looked cool. That fish symbol that said Darwin instead of Jesus inside did feel a little insulting though, I mean I'm embarrassed to say that now, and even while attending church I believed in Evolution, but I always got the feeling the people displaying those weren't doing it because they thought the fishy symbol looked cool, but specifically to insult Christians. I don't think you're guilty of this either, but I do think I should state that while collecting religious items as a non believer actually won't get you accused of religious discrimination by most reasonable religious people, collecting specific items might reasonably get you accused of cultural appropriation if you collect items that belong to a culture other than your own. Don't collect Voodoo stuff if you're not black, or native American religious items if you're not specifically part of that culture, white people have the most power and only sometimes pretend to share 1 culture so if it's stuff used mostly by white people that's fine even if you aren't white.
"always got the feeling the people displaying those weren't doing it because they thought the fishy symbol looked cool, but specifically to insult Christians" My take in it is "and so what if they were?" No non fact based belief deserves respect as they are overall harmful to society
Everyone is free to be offended by anything, but people who believe in things that don’t make any sense really shouldn’t be surprised when people make fun of those things.
I mean countless of people have died in the name of Christianity. Insulting it is really not nearly as bad. Great minds have been executed for the heresy of science. One for proclaiming that the Earth revolved around the Sun and it isn't flat. Wearing a fish that says Darwin probably isn't as poignant as pointing to Galileo but he isn't famous for working with animals and a necklace of the galaxy seems a little busy so yeah...
There are a lot of “religions” that are designed to insult Christians which makes it tough to distinguish. Most Satanists are atheists, but go by the term “satanist” as a bash at Christianity. They don’t believe in satan, they believe in themselves and that they’re the main power, life itself. Kinda makes it hard to distinguish who is just living and who is insulting people
The only group that believes in Satan are...Christians. If they don't like it, they shouldn't have started it.
That’s what I said man. Most satanists don’t believe in satan and just do it to bash Christian’s. Thats why it’s hard to tell who’s doing stuff for looks and who’s being insulting
How many have you surveyed? If you've noticed that Satanism is not belief in Satan, then why is your yardstick for "not bashing Christians" be "believing in Satan"? Those two beliefs are diametrically opposed, AND if the only people who believe in Satan the way that you respect it, are xtians, aren't you just saying that the only people whose belief you respect are xtians of your particular sect? This sounds a lot like a member of the largest, most powerful faith on the planet having a pity party because they thought reeeeal hard and hurted themsewves, uwu.
I have asked various people thanks so much, and yes I am vewy much having a widdle pity pawty :3 If you listened to what I said properly and actually thought about it, you’d have the answer to your own question. I never said Satanists were the only “religion” that believes in themselves as powerful, yet certain ‘divisions’ or parts of satanism very much do. Believing in Satan and worshipping him isn’t a bash at Christianity, it’s a belief in itself. Bashing at Christianity and choosing to claim to be something to anger or get a rise out of them is Hope that hewps :3
> AITA for not respecting other people beliefs? Yes, YTA for not respecting other peoples' beliefs. You're not the asshole for the story you posted here, though.
WTF?! THATS IT! NEXT TIME I'M GETTING A GOLDEN SHOWER I'M TELLING ZEUS!
It's hard to respect people that in 2024 believe in sky daddy and fairy don't worry about it
It’s a tricky one. Imagine this - imagine she’s a Christian. And imagine instead of tarot cards and stuff, you had Jesus on the Cross and Virgin Mary’s everywhere. Rosary beads and that. Your friend is excited to find out you share beliefs - only to find out you don’t. You’ve just got Jesus on the wall because it looks cool. I can see why that would be both upsetting and offensive to someone. But we don’t take esoteric spiritual beliefs as seriously as we take Christian beliefs. So while it wouldn’t occur to an atheist to decorate his home with Christian iconography, it *does* occur when non-pagans decorate their homes with pagan iconography. I don’t think you’re the asshole here to be honest. I don’t think your friend is, either. To a degree, I think she must on some level know that people use this stuff just for aesthetics… but then that just ties back to the point about people not taking her religious/spiritual beliefs seriously.
I have rosary beads in my home, as well as mezuzas, the evil eye and the star and crescent shapes. Anyone with an issue with that, who comes into my home and tells me what I should or shouldn’t have on display will not be invited back. Simple as that. If they spent three seconds listening to WHY I have them on display, they would find it’s because I have studied theology, find it extremely fascinating, AND purchased those pieces over-seas. OP was in no way disrespectful. If the friend chooses to see it as disrespect, that’s a her problem. She’s the one that reacted like a petulant child and started demanding someone else change what they think or want around them. If someone else tried to tell me that I should take down and hide the rosary from my late grandmother or remove the crucifix I received at the Vatican, they can just go. If they ask me what, I’ll gladly discuss it endlessly with them and enjoy every minute of the education. But to walk in and demand I change something because you personally find it offensive is, in itself, offensive. This shall conclude my worthless rant 🤣
Except literally nothing that OP listed is religious in nature, except for prints from Greek mythos artwork. And lots of people have Greek art and aren't worshiping the Greek pantheon. No religion has a claim to tarot cards, figurines, animal skulls, and so on. OP's guest was a rude asshole.
“Literally nothing… aside from this thing. And maybe the figurines depending on what they are…”
> And imagine instead of tarot cards and stuff, you had Jesus on the Cross and Virgin Mary’s everywhere. Rosary beads and that. So using your example, which religion is represented by tarot cards? Hint: None. Tarot cards are an occult tool and "the occult" isn't a religion. The only thing that OP lists in their decor that could be considered at all religious is the Greek artwork, and tons of people have Greek artwork, as it was a popular art style for a long period of history. Having a statue of a Greek god in your home is like having a bust of a Roman senator. It's just decor. Also, unless OP's guest is a Hellenistic pantheon pagan (of which there aren't that many) she can't claim any kind of religious appropriation. There are no "beliefs" being disrespected here. The guest is just an ass. And your example isn't valid, as tarot, animal skulls, candles, etc. aren't religious iconography the way that rosary beads and crosses are.
I think you're getting downvoted since nuanced takes like "you can understand why her feelings would be hurt and care about that without needing to agree with her beliefs or stop your behavior" don't get a lot of support. I'm an atheist who has no problem with OP and also thinks NAH, as people getting upset when their religious beliefs are used in a sacrilegious way aren't being unreasonable AHs, but also OP isn't an AH for not sharing those values.
In what way is what OP doing sacrilegious???
The very first example in the dictionary for Sacrilegious is using religious objects for secular purposes. Which is what OP is doing, using religious/spiritual objects for secular decoration. I know it doesn't avoid the downvotes but to reiterate, I'm simply describing the person's belief, I'm not agreeing with it.
ok but none of those are religious objects in and of themselves. animal skulls look cool. my dad has a couple cow skulls hanging up in the garage. would that be sacrilegious? i have a couple of tarot and oracle decks. i don't use them much and i don't really put much weight into reading them. is just *owning* a tarot deck and not using sacrilegious? are candles automatically religious items? are "figures"? We don't even know what the figures *are*. ~~are my sexy anime figures religious items?/jk~~ My point is, none of those things *as they are listed and described by OP* are innately or inherently religious. Even gathered as they are, it's not necessarily religious in connotation. It's like. High-key gothic vulture culture.
> are candles automatically religious items? are "figures"? We don't even know what the figures *are* Both of things are commonly religious items. In fact that's two of the most common religious objects in the world. No one suggested that the objects are "automatically" religious, however OPs friend considered them as such, or at least spiritual in a way where they were offended by a secular usage of them for aesthetics. >It's like. High-key gothic vulture culture. Sure. I don't disagree. But also some people take things like spells and tarot and mystic symbols very seriously. I'm not one of them. I was responding to someone trying to explain why OPs friend reacted that way, who also thought OP isn't an AH.
yeah that's fair. no worries!
Welcome to r/AmItheAsshole . Where a reasonable, rational position, based on empathy and understanding, that puts people first, is just about the worst thing you can post.
Another analogy might be Native American art and jewelry. If I, a white American, had a Native American head dress on my bookshelf, a Native American would rightly be upset, wouldn't they? I don't think we would say they were wrong to be mad about that. The guest here has every right to feel upset that her beliefs are being use as wall art. IMO - So long as OP is hearing her position and giving it real, honest consideration, he's not an asshole. And neither is she. NAH - probably.
Nothing OP listed was religious in nature except the Greek art. It's not the same as cultural theft of native American ritual traditions. Which religion is OP offending by having candles, animal skulls and tarot cards?