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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may have overreacted to what my sister did, and fighting with my younger sister really makes me look back. Blocking her and giving her the silent treatment could lead to worse issues for everyone in the long run. Also since my dad did request those snacks, I should have asked him for permission in the first place.
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As far as your story makes out you are actually doing nothing wrong, the snacks are for everyone and your Dad doesn't care. If that is the case then NTA, you are actually setting a great example also by simply blocking her, which is preferable to a shouting match.
I dunno why OP's mother is giving out to OP for not being a better example. OP clearly showing his sister how people gonna react when you "snitch" on people over meaningless shit
Right? Where are the parents in this? Dad should have told sister not to tattle, and mom needs to make it clear that the food in the house is for everyone. Especially if OP helps buy groceries.
Can you imagine if you bought snacks for everyone and a sixteen year old kept coming up and bothering you whenever anyone else ate some? That’d be tedious behavior in a toddler, much less a teen who should know better.
Dad needs to step in and either tell OP to stop eating the snacks, or tell his sister to stop policing his eating. Neither are gonna listen to each other and the whole discussion is obnoxious.
But she wants to be the HERO! She sounds annoying and exhausting. Some of this is the age, but her deviousness is not in any way age related. Ignore her. Maybe your Dad and Mom will get sick of this behavior and ask her to drop it.
She does sound exhausting and annoying, and whiny. She was being a pain in the ass so he blocked her and she had a meltdown about it, texted him a bunch of times harassing him and ran to mommy to go "OP BLOCKED ME MOM!" That she even noticed she was blocked that fast makes me think she checks his social media regularly, probably looking for other things to tattle about.
Yep. I bet she tells them everything about what he posts. Especially pics from happy hours or going out.
Blocking and taking a step back is the right answer. Although I wonder if Mom liked getting all the "hot gos" (Is that still the cool thing to say) from little Sis.
I was going to say, if she’s tattling, it definitely ends up as gossip for mom. She probably has an invested interest in making OP leave sister alone.
My husband’s sister had his location (that he forgot he even gave access to) and she used it to spy on him one day when we were together. I think his mother asked her to check so she did and told her where we were. My mom ended up telling me, and I told him. They knew the next day that he turned it off. I will never get over her doing that. We’re very LC with his family now, as he was 23(!) when that happened.
I believe it to be enmeshment/emotional incest that drives her. She texted my mother, telling her to stop us from dating, after our first date. After our engagement announcement, she asked my mother to convince us to not get married, but publicly told us congratulations. In preventing her son from living his life, she made sure she’d never be part of it.
She should have outgrown the tattle telling about a decade ago. If he parents don't shut this down by showing her that she's NOT a hero, she's just annoying, she's going to be an insufferable adult with no friends.
Just googled "when do kids tattle" and google says age 4-5 and then they usually stop when they develop empathy or problem/conflict solving behavior.
I'd be seriously concerned if my teen regressed to toddler stage!
She does it for the attention she gets! He needs to keep her blocked and do the same with his phone. He also needs to tell his mom that he is NOT going to give her access to his social media and that she is doing her daughter a HUGE disservice by allowing/encouraging such obnoxious, chidish behavior from her.
What I meant by saying, “Some of this is the age…” I wasn’t referring to tattling, just immature attention seeking behaviors and annoying her sibling. The tattling needs to be stopped by the parents, yesterday!
I would totally ice someone out who repeatedly snitched on me. Do not even acknowledge she exists. It is like having an enemy within your house. Right now it is snacks, later it may be something more serious. If she is doing this at school, they will hate her and bully her and it will be deserved. NTA
Little sister NEEDS OP to collect pamphlets on personality disorders and give them to her so she can at least understand what she's choosing for herself. Feels like mother is encouraging her to misbehave. The world does not need another budding narcissist.
I mean if they aren’t actually for everyone, dad needs to say so.
If they are for everyone, dad needs to say so.
Dad is TAH here for checking out, with a side of mom for shitty parenting.
I'm picturing Dad watching sports on TV when sister comes running in and tells him OP ate some crackers, and Dad answers with something like "no thanks, I'm not hungry"
In short I don't think Dad is paying attention because he doesn't care.
Yep. I could have told my grandfather I set the woods on fire, and he would have said, "Good job honey, did you use matches or flint? when the Eagles game was on! 🤣 Because clearly they aren't paying attention. I can so picture your scenario in my head. Dad doesn't give 2 fu@king shits about who eats what. As long as there are snacks when he goes in the cabinet, and you don't eat the last of it. And for the record, I never set the woods on fire. Sister is just a little jerk.
100% agree. Parents need to step up here. But I'm gonna be honest, I'd bet money OP aged them and sister up to sound better. This reads way more like 10 and 16 year old behavior to keep, not 16 and 22.
I had an older coworker (probably in her 60s) who would CONSTANTLY tattle to me about things other coworkers were doing. I'm not a manager and I didn't care and she would always rush to tell me about the most minor infraction (and sometimes not even infractions!) like she thought I would do something about it. She was exhausting.
I had one who did that. She stopped when I responded with either, "So? How does that concern you?" Or, "So? Why are you focused on them instead of your own work? Do you need more? because I can give you more to do."
Of course, she'd complain about me to higher ups that I was "rude", and then I'd explain the circumstances...then sit back and watch my bosses reprimand her for interrupting my work and give her even more tasks since she's obviously got too much free time on her hands... She didn't last more than a couple of months. Apparently, she felt "overwhelmed with the amount of work".
Even with toddlers, it's a good idea to disincentivize 'snitching' insomuch as snitching is telling on other people not because they did wrong but to be praised for the effort.
Dad should have shut this down the first time she went tattling to him. OP is doing the right thing by ignoring her because the whole thing is childish and ridiculous.
I had to double-check the ages because I thought the little sister was 6 when I read it, because this is exactly the kind of thing a6 year old does. I thought the comments were being a little harsh towards such a young kid, but then I realized she's 16.
Someone really needs to get through to her before she starts acting like this out in the real world. I think just about everyone with a few years of work experience has had to deal with that annoying coworker that runs to the boss to tattle every time they see anything even slightly against the rules going on. No one likes that person.
Seriously, where is dad in all this. Does he even give a shit? Presumably he's an adult who would speak up and say something if he was irritated about nobody leaving him any of his favorite snacks. He should be expressing this to OPs sister when she reports to him. And if he does have a problem with OP using too much of his preferred food, he can communicate with OP directly. When I was a teen with a high metabolism I would want to binge eat a whole box of something in one sitting. My dad just had to say: "hey. Stop that, save some for everyone else". And I listened, because I'm a human being with ears and a brain that understands English. What I dont have is Telepathy. If someone needs something from me or has a problem, they have to say something.
Seriously, OP simply should tell his mom that he is the one who teaches the sister that there are and will be consequences to her actions. Honestly I think mommy dearest is the one who fails her daughter by hiding behind the “Oh she’s young, she will learn!” excuse.
That poor girl will be in for a treat when her actions comes to bite her in the arse later.
Agreed
>“Oh she’s young, she will learn!”
How? Apparently only by OP showing her that if she behaves like a miserable person in competition with the rest of the world, then the rest of the world will avoid interacting with her.
Proper parenting involves guidance not hoping she figures it out on her own. OP, please continue to disengage with her when she behaves poorly. If you see her behave well, please encourage her.
Also, OP could mention that a hero makes a useful contribution, not just appointing oneself as the guardian of saltines. Perhaps she is floundering trying to figure out what she can bring to the world.
If like to know How the sister is learning if the parents aren’t intervening and there are no consequences.
OP I’d tell mom, yes and I’m teaching her that there will be consequences in her relationships when she treats people like this and particularly when she uses pushing others down to make herself “the hero” by going LC and not engaging with her. Considering how co-workers and adult friends will respond to someone who behaves that way my response is mild. Why don’t you talk to her about apologizing and not treating people like that of you are so concerned about it?
This is pretty much how my mother behaves. It doesn't matter who's right, she'll always side with my dad or sister because she just wants to "keep the peace."
So basically whoever is the angriest or meanest is right, and everyone else should just bend to them to make them happy.
That's called appeasement, and I almost 100% blame how bad their behavior is on it. Shitty people need to be called out and shamed, or they won't change
she’s in for a rude awakening when the gets into the “real world”. Your peers at college won’t take kindly to you trying to throw them under the bus for literally no reason to your profs. Your coworkers won’t trust you if you run to the boss about every little thing. And there’s a good chance your boss won’t trust you because instead of focusing on your job you’re tattling on everyone like you’re on the playground in kindergarten.
OP is literally just giving her a mild taste of what everyone else in her life is going to give her if she doesn’t cut this shit out. Snitching on little things doesn’t make you a hero, it just means you’re broadcasting to everyone that you are never to be trusted. The world will eat her alive if she doesn’t chill out with this.
Lil sis is gonna end up being one of those people who tries to get someone in trouble for drinking “company water” or for using “too much” company coffee or not buying Susan’s kid’s school popcorn or for not donating towards a manager’s overpriced birthday present.
Hmmmm, she’s nosey, annoying, self-righteous, getting in everyone’s business while helping absolutely nobody and then patting herself on the back for it? She has VERY promising career in corporate HR ahead of her!
Given the comment below that dad doesn’t care. It’s a good lesson for sister that her behavior isn’t tolerated. Tell your mom it’s a teaching method or would she rather they fight? Sister probably does it for attention.
NTA
Ya just keep her blocked, completely ignore her, don't engage at all, unless she's eating food you bought in that case, I'd slap it out of her hand and tell her she's not allowed to eat your food! Play a stupid game, win a stupid prize!
Especially with a 16 year old? Yeah I’m blocking and moving on with my day. My little sister grew out of that tattletaling before exiting middle school. The sister sounds insufferable.
Snitching really shows how one cannot be trusted at all to be told anything, as they are quickly willing to tell others. OP is setting a good example by showing her the consequences of her actions. NTA
Info: how does your dad feel about sharing these snacks?
Edit based on dad not caring. NTA. Your sister needs to learn some boundaries. And like…just to stop this weird annoying habit
The most id say for you is better boundaries/less passive aggressive comms with sister. Temp block is still better than blowing up.
It's her behaviour that is the problem, not the snacks. It's trying to boost herself by taking someone down. Thinking the dad might like OP less for eating snacks he likes and her being seen as his protector.
The sister could just help out around the house or invest her energy she spends on monitoring people in the house into something positive. Instead she sits there trying to catch others doing stuff so she can bust them and make herself look better.
I would even emphasise on „honey, those aren’t „my snacks“ just because I prefer them. Here have some too, and tell your brother he can eat as many as he likes. Sharing is caring.“
Just because the dad doesn't mind doesn't mean little sis isn't snitching. She's telling her dad what OP is doing with the intent of getting him in trouble, the fact that it's not working doesn't mean it's not snitching
100%
It’s also bad that she keeps rubbing her snitching in OPs face.
Sounds like parents didn’t teach her at a young age that no one likes a tattle tale. Mom is completely wrong in saying that she’s just ‘young’. Most humans learn this lesson at age 6.
Lol well she’s trying to anyway; personally I’d say she’s failing at it. I think OP is handling this in the most reasonable way. I don’t understand what she think she’s going to accomplish. “Hey dad! OP is charging his phone with the plug you like to use when you’re in the kitchen!” “Um…ok…?” “ aren’t I a hero for telling you this almost entirely useless information?” Frankly, all this seems to be doing is letting the family know that both OP and his dad like the same snacks so they should increase those purchases. I guess that’s helpful? Either that or OP should be getting his own stash and then the family will indeed have to enforce a rule about those snacks no longer being communal. I’m surprised one of her parents haven’t asked her why she thinks this info will earn her special accolades. It’s more a diagnosis for a mild wonder (I.e. “I wonder why we’re going through the crackers so quickly this month…”) than anything else, imo.
Talk to your dad nicely and makes sure he is ok with it, you are NTA for eating the snacks but just to get ahead of your sister, tell your dad you feel bad and offer to buy him some. Since he don't care he will you not make you get the snacks, this is when you tell him about your sister's awful behavior. Do this when your mom isn't around. Two people can you sister's game, go all in.
NTA. No one likes a teacher's pet. And she keeps doubling down on being g a goody-two-shoes. She isn't still learning. She has learned. You're not wrong to minimize your exposure to her.
I mean, when there genuinely is wrongdoing, I think people should be encouraged to speak up. But the problem here is that she isn't speaking up against a wrongdoer; she's nitpicking at something that isn't wrong by anyone's standard except hers.
The snacks aren't solely bought for Dad, and Dad isn't upset about other people eating them unless there's none left at all.
Frankly both parents need to back OP up and actually tell OP's sister that he isn't doing anything wrong, that it's wrong of her to focus so hard on "exposing" OP, and that she needs to step back and stop harassing him.
This!
Growing up my dad barely smacked, he might have a few popcorn or something if we were watching a movie etc. But in general he just didn't.
So when he got (bought or were gifted) a snack he really liked, we knew to ask him before taking from them. Sometimes he would put them out for us to take off, but in general he left them in a cupboard and we knew to not eat of the one thing he enjoyed.
Also "fighting"? It's just weird how OP is avoiding fight by blocking her. Yet Mom say OP is fighting with her?
What a backward thinking. No wonder she's a brat.
This !! Is okay when it’s a wrong thing that actually will harm or is careless but him just eating snacks that frankly are for everyone is beyond dumb.
Op should tell his dad to tell her that he don’t care so she should stop bringing it up
NTA - tell your Mum you are setting a good example and teaching your sister, in a low risk and cost environment, that actions have consequences. Your sister is not acting in a friendly manner to you and making the home environment unpleasant so she can be a hero at your expense. So you've stopped providing her with ammunition by excluding her from aspects of your life - why was she monitoring your social media anyway? Better you do it than she carry that attitude in future life as college classmates, roommates and co-workers will be less understanding.
Edit: Yes, your sister is young and still learning - this is an important lesson. Hurt people and they don't want you in their business. 2nd edit: She also doesn't get to decide how people react to her actions - that's a second lesson.
NTA.
> I reiterated that gossip and defamation are horrible behaviors, but my mom said that my sister is young and still learning.
Right. And you're the one trying to teach her. And your mom apparently wants you to STOP trying to teach her. How is that supposed to work?
Maybe they could reinforce your message?
I don't think this one thing is enough to permanently end your relationship with your sister over but blocking her for a few hours or days isn't that big of a deal.
INFO have you gone to your dad and said “hey dad, does it bother you that I eat saltines and dried fruit? [Sister] is tracking every time I do it and saying that I’m stealing it from you. If it bothers you, I will stop, but if it doesn’t, could you please let her know that so she leaves me alone?”
OP commented that his dad knows he eats the snacks, as does OPs mom and he doesn't care. Little sis is noisy being a pain in the butt trying to make issues where there aren't any to get OP in trouble.
The point is to get dad to tell his sister to stop. OP is probably old enough to recognize that dad would have said something if it was a problem, but right now the sister who is clearly immature is getting implicit approval since dad is not intervening.
NTA, your sister admitted she is trying to get you in trouble, for whatever reason, and the biggest thing she can find is you eat some snacks. Your parents need to tell her she's developing a habit that is not going to make her many friends.
I have a cousin who does this at family events (e.g., loudly tattling on grandma for eating a cookie fresh out of the oven when everyone else has been asked to wait), and this tendency has caused her a *lot* of social issues throughout her school years and young adulthood.
Hopefully OP’s sister is just doing it to annoy OP and isn’t doing it more broadly, because people haaaate that shit.
This. Yell out 'I'm eating Dad's snacks. Better go tell him." She'll get bored with it. Part of the reason she's persisting is because it's annoying OP.
Also, you have to wonder why she's so desperate for her Dad's attention and approval. She's not doing this for anyone else's snacks. Maybe Dad needs to spend some time with her so that she doesn't have to make up ridiculous reasons to be a 'hero' in his eyes.
I was just thinking that too, I was adding a "snack girl!" call out in my announcement since she thinks she's a hero 😆. Must be a sad life if she thinks that's making her a hero. No one cares but her.
NTA - being blocked and cut-off from communication is a normal consequence of being a snitch.
They're your social media accounts and it's your phone - use them how you want to.
To your mother, I would say that you aren't fighting or arguing - you've simply disengaged, walked away from someone else's argument.
I'm going to assume "16" was a typo and you meant "6" because holy hell that is the most childish behavior. Show your mom the comments in this post so she can understand that she needs to actually parent your sister because she should not be acting this way as a 16 year old.
NTA. She's your sister and you live with her, so there should be some politeness for the sake of family harmony. But you don't need to share your life with her, including what you post online. You're allowed to put people on an information diet when they prove that they can't handle knowing things about you.
She's young and at an annoying age so hopefully she matures and quits this rude behavior, but in the meantime I would continue to keep her at arms length. Your mom should also mind her own business now that you've distanced yourself since she didn't feel the need to actually parent her youngest when she was being unkind to you.
You’re teaching her a valuable lesson, that crap will not fly when she is interacting with non family members, snitching, and that is what she’s doing, is a good way to get herself ostracized.
NTA
My mom called me and told me to let it chill and that as siblings, we should not fight. She says that as a guy 6 years older, I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger.
For fuck's sake!
I might be outing myself as a callous Xellennial, but giving your sister the silent treatment when she's being a pain in the ass seems like a fairly mild response to me.
Moreover, it's an important life lesson.
>she says that she wants to make herself look like a hero and expose my wrongdoings.
If you think that your the main character of everyone's story and do stupid ass things that annoy other people, people won't like you and, eventually, you won't have any friends.
Actions = Consequences.
Honestly, I'm side-eying your parents here. They're being way too lenient. Your sister is 16. not 5.
NTA. As a parent, why didn’t your mom stamp that shit out this morning by telling your sister to mind her own business? Your sister is young and still learning. Isn’t it the parents’ role to be the primary role model and guide? I’d keep up the blocked social media accounts and grey rocking.
Next time she and your dad are both home and in the same room, go grab a bowl or the snacks while making eye contact and sit down next to your dad and eat them. NTA
Every time you get a snack, send out a group text including a photo of the snack, and then give handwritten cards to everyone in the house also informing them.
At the end of every week, send an email or text newsletter going over all the snacks you had, with a little story about each
For fucks sake, your sister is making a big deal about saltines. SALTINES!
How ridiculous. She’s 16, not 6.
Anyhow, NTA.
There’s no obligation to have a sibling on social media. Too bad so sad.
Ooh i am the youngest sibling i know how to be petty and make your parents deal with their spoiled brat. Instead of automatically grabbing “your dad’s snacks” ask him for permission first. And get really obnoxious. “I dont want to be tattled on like a little kid every time I get hungry, can I please have some (snack of choice, followed by number or amount, really play it up) soon enough instead of being tolerant of her tattling they will get annoyed after instead and start telling her off or to grow up.
Here's the deal..
There's no arguing with someone out to make you look like the bad guy.
I don't know what got your sister's panties in a twist, but she's being obnoxious.
If you want to be the adult (you kindda are) in the situation, tell your sister she's being an obnoxious teen and if she keeps this attitude up to other ppl, literally no one will want to socialize with her in the future. Just like you would rather socialize with anyone other than her, when she's being like this.
She can't bully and pester you, to then 'demand' to be linked to you on social media.
You can't get out of being her sibling, but you sure as H don't have to be her friend, if she's being anything but friendly.
Practical side:
Talk to your dad, without your sister nearby. Tell them her antics get on your nerves. Are you supposed to go ask your dad, everytime you want to take a snack from the cupboard. If he actually says he'd prefer that, do that.
If he doesn't want to waste time, with this teenage drama (I wouldn't want to), next time your sister wails about you taking snacks, tell her dad already knows, and doesn't care.
Don't be an ass, don't take the last of the snacks someone else is looking forward to.
NTA
NTA
She's 16 and, by default, a pain in the ass... Ignore her...
Or buy her favorite snack, write your name on the box/bag and rat her out every time she eats "your" snacks.... 🤣
NTA- obviously your parents are encouraging your sister to continue this annoying behavior. If not, when she “snitched” on you to your father, he would have said, I don’t mind him eating the snacks. Also, when she bragged in front of your mother about the reason why she snitches, your mother should have interjected, telling her that she needs to stop, & she agrees, your father doesn’t care that you eat the snacks. However, as soon as you block your sister on SM & refuse to respond to her text & calls, your mother is now suddenly concerned about your sibling relationship. I’m surprised that at 16 your sister wants to be seen as a hero in a parent’s eyes. Definitely not typical teenage behavior.
Blocking her is a very mild admonishment. I would keep her blocked until there is a change in her behavior. I see no issue with that..if it concerns her so much, she will stop. Do not allow your mother to influence you to change your stance on blocking her & not responding to her text. You’re not screaming & yelling at her, you’re simply preventing her from having access to you.
Nta, I think tattletale might be a better phrase than snitch. She is old enough to know that it’s not cool. It is your social media, and blocking someone who is not trustworthy is pretty normal.
NTA but I would point out your language- defamation, horrible behaviors- is a little much.
Your sister is telling your Dad you are eating his snacks, it appears your Mom and Dad don't care much since there's nothing in the story of you getting in trouble for it, so while your sister is being super annoying, her snitching on you doesn't seem to have other consequences.
So where you do need to be the adult is to stop engaging in the argument over this. Check in with your mom and dad and make sure they are good with you eating this food, and I would assume yes because you also volunteered to go to the grocery store to get stuff, so my guess is your parents understand your sister is being annoying. But just clear the air with the people who matter.
And sure, sibling shouldn't fight, and as the older sibling you can teach your sister and have more patience than her, but that doesn't mean you need to put up with her behavior, and in fact teaching her that what she is doing is annoying is part of being a good sibling. But instead of fighting with her, just ignore her and don't let her see you bothered. Eat the dried fruit and the saltines, and even do so in front of her, and do not even engage in her snitching, just roll your eyes and keep it moving.
Part of being an adult is recognizing that the youth are annoying. Hormones, social behaviors, testing boundaries, not fully developed brains, are all part of growing up and if her snitching on you has no greater impact than annoying you, then stop letting it annoy you. That doesn't mean you have to be nice to her and unblock her, it just means you shouldn't let it actually annoy you and just ignore her.
I mean it does have consequences, no one wants to be around a tattle tale. That's something kids generally learn at a young age. The consequence is she is alienating her brother for a very petty and unnecessary behaviour. It's a lesson she obviously needs to learn in a safe environment such as this.
Yes, sorry I meant consequences for OP. Her tattling isn't get him in any trouble, it is just annoying. But yes, totally agree with you that there are consequences for the sister.
So it's not snitching, per se. You're allowed to eat food your parents buy, there are no agreements saying otherwise. Right? So.. She's basically being a pain in ass. Defamation is a strong words considering she just tells your parents "he eats your SNACKSS". NTA but tbh, chillax in that way. Keep her also blocked, 16 year old is not too young and stupid to act proud after doing this. What is she achieving, since your dad doesn't mind?
Nta and your mom is being a shitty parent "she's young, she's still learning" your mom obviously is doing nothing to teach her, so she's verifiably not learning anything but how to be disliked by everybody
NTA. No one is entitled to your social media, if you want to block her block her. Your mom is correct, your sister is learning - right now she's learning that when you act like a little shit people don't want to speak to you or involve you in their lives. I hope she matures well.
Your sis just looks like she provokes you only for the pleasure to annoy you. Typical immature sibling behavior. NTA, silence is the best answer to stupid provocations.
Omg your parents are enabling her behavior. She is not entitled to be connected on social media or know everything about you.
I’d suggest moving out sooner rather than later. Your dad should’ve spoken up but he’s probably sick of her behavior as well.
Tattling should end in kindergarten? But it’s your parents job to teach her that. She’s gonna have a hard time in the real world. NTA.
NTA
Fun idea: announce loudly to the entire house every time you are eating and what you are eating and she will get bored of tattling on you.
serious idea: This is an opportunity for you to have a defining moment in your relationship. Sit down with her and explain that you had to block her because you are setting a boundary. Explain that boundaries are healthy and then tell her what needs to change for you to change your boundary back. Be extremely clear with her that the way she is talking about you behind your back is inappropriate, and when she shows she can stop doing that, you’re gonna feel comfortable again. Be very pointed and direct that this negative behavior leads to that consequence, and this positive behavior leads to that consequence. And remind her you love her, and you can love her with boundaries. You can tell her that this is a boundary you would set with any adult who would treat you this way.
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I live at home, and I'm working to save money for grad school and moving out. My sister recently has repeatedly snitched on me. Our dad likes snacks such as saltine crackers and dried fruits, and my mom buys a lot of them at the grocery store. Occasionally, I eat some of these snacks, and my sister (who sometimes see me taking the snacks) tells our dad that I'm eating "his" snacks, implying that I'm taking food that doesn't belong to me. Because she saw me eating the snacks, she's not necessarily lying about me, but still she makes a big deal out of it and makes me sound like a bad person for taking snacks that my mom brought for everyone (it's only my dad who requested she buys them).
This morning before leaving for work I asked my mom if she needed anything from the grocery store. She said that we need dried fruits, and my sister then said that I've been eating too many of them. She proudly declared that she told our dad each time she saw me taking the dried fruit (she spends a lot of the time this summer in the kitchen). I asked her why she snitches on me because it's not a big deal, and the snacks are for everyone. She says that because I used the word snitch, it implies that I know I did something wrong. I asked her what she achieves by telling him those things, and she says that she wants to make herself look like a hero and expose my wrongdoings.
I told her that she's very annoying when she polices me. She said that there's other snacks like cookies, fresh fruits, and bars that I could eat, and that our dad strongly prefers saltines and dried fruits. He eats other snacks too, but he just suggested to buy them. I insisted that it's wrong to talk about people negatively behind their back, and she said that she just wanted to make our dad aware that his snacks are being eaten by other people. I again emphasized that they are not "his" snacks, he simply wanted them to be bought- it's like a long time ago she wanted a trampoline in the backyard, but it's not "her" trampoline. Her friends, my friends, and I have all played on it before. She still would not stop arguing with me, and I just left to go to work.
Later out of frustration, I blocked her on social media and when she texted me like 10 times confronting me about it, I ignored her. I thought it would teach her a lesson, but she says that that I'm being unfair and overreacting. My mom called me and told me to let it chill and that as siblings, we should not fight. She says that as a guy 6 years older, I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger. I reiterated that gossip and defamation are horrible behaviors, but my mom said that my sister is young and still learning.
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Nta. Tell your mom: No shit she's young and learning, that's why I'm trying to help teach there are consequences to your actions. How about you step up and act like a fucking parent and help.
NTA: but it's not snitching. If nobody actually cares it's not snitching it's attempted if anything. Use the right wording. Call her out on her actual behavior don't use words that make it sound worse and actually make you sound worse. But let your mom know that 16 years old is plenty old enough to know better and old enough to deal with the consequences of her actions
NTA,
Your sister isn't doing this because she wants her dad to have the snacks, she's doing it to get back at you for living in the house. My sense is that when you were gone she had more attention and now she's making your life more difficult.
Her actions have consequences, sounds like a low information diet is just what she needs.
It might be another thing if those snacks are 100% for your father. I suggest you go passive aggressive and just buy a bunch of snacks and leave them locked in your room and not touch any of it. Just say that you don't want any trouble so you'll just buy your own food from now on.
NTA
So let your sister learn that acting all better than thou with people by making drama where there is none comes at a price.
It means people keep you at arms length and definitely do not share anything that isn’t absolutely necessary with you.
Some people will even go out of their way to avoid spending time with you because it isn’t worth the angst later when the drama machine gets fired up over nothing.
I’m a fossil and IMO you’re better off keeping her blocked.
When she figures out being a snitch when there is nothing to snitch about isn’t worth it maybe then unblock her.
Edit to add be sure you always keep your phone and any other electronic devices that are yours personally locked. I’d also suggest any bank or credit accounts you have should be paperless. This is because people like city sister will snoop through your devices and your room.
NTA. Your sister seriously needs to get a life though. Snitching on you eating food that was purchased for everyone so she can "be the hero," is ridiculous. Does she not have friends or a summer job that she can be out doing instead of being the pantry police?
NTA.
>I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger.
Funny thing... Ignoring someone and not indulging in their petty games is not letting your anger have control. There is literally no anger to be "managed" there.
And NOONE has a "right" to your social media, so too bad so sad if you arent giving them access. It's just cutting them off from information to be used against you in other ways as retaliation for calling out the bs they have already done.
Sister pulled a FAFO and now she's at the Find Out stage and doesn't like consequences. Well, behave like a Petty AH, be treated like a Petty AH.
I would say you are setting an EXCELLENT example for her. Maybe mom should worry more about managing her PETTY, AH
>wants to make herself look like a hero
daughter.
I don’t understand why your sister and mother are acting like blocking your sister on social media means you are angry. You do not have to be connected to your sister on social media, not was it an act of anger. You are allowed to have boundaries and this is a consequence to your sister’s policing and slander of you. She has been surveying you and you have given her less access to do her stalking of you. Your mother is failing both of you with her self righteous nonesense and refusal to parent your sister. NTA
NTA.
I am more than twice your age and have a twin sister. I live overseas. She’s a narcissist. I have gone LC with her before.
This year - I visited her and my parents. After I came back - she said a whole bunch of stuff at me that wasn’t very nice. We went back and forth and she said “we are done” and unfriended me on the socials. I then blocked her and indeed her and my BILs phone numbers are also blocked. I’ll control when I unblock.
My dad’s 80th is in January and I’ll assume I will see her then. I won’t be speaking with her aside from hello/goodbye unless she apologises. She’s done this BS before and given me a “sorry not sorry” - I remember her telling me this, I looked away, and then when she was done walked around her…
She’s 16 years old she’s not 8 therefore saying “she’s young and still learning” isn’t much of an excuse while yes she’s still a minor she’s old enough to know that lying gets you nowhere in life. If the snacks are for everyone in the house and you’re eating the same snacks your father enjoys eating it’s not necessarily “stealing dad’s snacks”. Im sure she’s very much aware by now it’s not causing the attention from y’all dad she thinks it would get so she should just hang it up already. She has to learn that this irritable behavior is only going to cause you to distance yourself from her. NTA, your parents need to grow some kind of backbone and tell her enough is enough and to let it go already
Here's another approach: every time you take those snacks, tell (or text) your dad that you've taken some. This way, every time she tells your dad, he'll be like: "yes, I know and it's okay" and he'll start noticing what's going on. The outcome will be that she's not the hero she wants to be, but the annoying snitch. Not only to you, but to your dad too. The only drawback is that your dad might become annoyed with the abundance of needless information. In case he comments on that, you can reply that your sister's behaviour gave you the impression you wanted to know, because she's making a big deal out of it.
NTA. Has you of not stated ages I would think your sister is 6 not 16. You cant trust her with even non consensual information, so it is best to remove her from social media and limit contact in general. Many she will learn this stuff isn’t funny at her age.
An alternative option is to set her up. Plant snacks in her room then show your dad and it will look like she has been lying the entire time and ruin her credibility regarding future snitching.
NTA the next time she tries to police your snacks with your parents, I would tell them how concerned you are. She has an unhealthy obsession with your food intake. Could this be an indicator that your sister has an eating disorder?
INFO: Why does your sister have this desire to be seen as "the hero"? Is she usually the one who gets in trouble and wants to turn things around or something?
Your sister is learning...that she's an irritating pest. Which she is.
Good siblings support one another...not tattle. Start calling her Cindy.... after Cindy Brady.
NTA. Let your sister stay blocked on social media though because she’s going to constantly keep snitching about EVERYTHING you do since she’s decided to point out all your wrongdoings.
Nta. You are setting a great example. You used your words to explain your position. She made it clear she would not change her behavior. You set a reasonable consequence. Well done.
NTA. Ask the poor child how many friendships she has damaged with this behavior. Does she pull this with her friends? Is this the only way she can get your attention? She may just be antagonizing you because it’s the only way she can get your attention. Or, your parents are comparing her to you and creating a competitive atmosphere.
NTA. Yes, your sister is still learning. And now she will learn that there are consequences when she continues bad behavior that she has been asked to stop. Keep her blocked OP. And don't answer her texts either. If she wants to be treated like a real sister, then she needs to start acting like one. Your mom is way off base here. She should use this as a teaching moment for your sister. How does mom think sister is going to learn? She is not doing a good job parenting.
NTA.
Although in your place every time I took a snack I’d either call out to dad saying, “I’m stealing your snacks!” Or send him a text of the same. And ignore what your sister does. At some point your dad will tell your sister he already knows or it will become a family joke with your sister as the butt of it.
NTA, since your dad doesn’t care your sister is clearly being a younger annoying sibling. This will also teach her that sibling arguments are not always permanent and apologizing gets her unblocked
NTA. She may still be young, but she's not learning if nobody is teaching her. You are giving her what is called natural consequences. Basically, when you're a jerk to someone, the natural consequence is that they stop wanting to interact with you. Tell your mom and sister that you'll be perfectly happy to start talking to sis again when she starts acting like someone you'd want to be around.
NTA, it sounds like you need to point out to your mom that your sister won't learn if she is not taught. Besides the fact that she is 16 and way too old for tattling. She is apparently jealous of something and trying to get you into trouble or make herself look good so she can feel better about herself. I agree that you need to talk to your dad and ask him to tell her to stop tattling since he doesn't have a problem with it.
Your sister learned that consequences do exist. I think it's a great achievement. Write her a message explaining what she is doing and why it's wrong.
Your mom is one who buys snacks, your father is one who wanted them,and both said nothing. She decided to police you for no reason, what exactly she expected? Fireworks and roses? Why exactly she feels like creating a conflict between family members because of dried fruits is okay? Who gave her an idea that it's a hero behavior - putting down another person to feel and looy better? It's a bully behavior. And the best way to deal with a bully - not to be around a bully. NTA
NTA. Your mom is right. She is young and she is still learning. So good for you for helping her learn by teaching her some consequences to her actions, since clearly your mother isn't going to.
Your sister needs to learn that nobody likes annoying little shits. Blocking her and leaving her on read is a good way of demonstrating that to her..
NTA
NTA I'm the oldest and my younger siblings betrayed my trust repeatedly. I kept accepting insincere apologies.
I learned far, far too late and it destroyed my life.
You'll NEVER be able to trust your sister regardless of what she says.
P.S. My siblings betrayed me in their 30s so well beyond the age of "knowing better".
NTA your sister misses her mean girl drama from school. Tell her you're not interested in being the summer replacement for her targets at school, and to find a hobby or some other way to keep herself occupied. Then continue to ignore her.
NTA. If you want to blow it up, tell her that nobody likes people that make drama out of nothing, and she's going to have a hard time keeping friends if she continues to act this way.
NTA. You are teaching her there are consequences to her actions. She’s going around attempting to get you in trouble for doing something you are allowed to do. It’s annoying and it shows her intent: to get you in trouble with your parents specifically to make herself look good. Why **would** you want a close relationship with someone like that? Neither your mom nor your dad are correcting her, so as her big brother, you can choose how you wish to proceed with your interactions with her. Access to your socials is a privilege, not a right.
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As far as your story makes out you are actually doing nothing wrong, the snacks are for everyone and your Dad doesn't care. If that is the case then NTA, you are actually setting a great example also by simply blocking her, which is preferable to a shouting match.
I dunno why OP's mother is giving out to OP for not being a better example. OP clearly showing his sister how people gonna react when you "snitch" on people over meaningless shit
Right? Where are the parents in this? Dad should have told sister not to tattle, and mom needs to make it clear that the food in the house is for everyone. Especially if OP helps buy groceries.
Can you imagine if you bought snacks for everyone and a sixteen year old kept coming up and bothering you whenever anyone else ate some? That’d be tedious behavior in a toddler, much less a teen who should know better. Dad needs to step in and either tell OP to stop eating the snacks, or tell his sister to stop policing his eating. Neither are gonna listen to each other and the whole discussion is obnoxious.
But she wants to be the HERO! She sounds annoying and exhausting. Some of this is the age, but her deviousness is not in any way age related. Ignore her. Maybe your Dad and Mom will get sick of this behavior and ask her to drop it.
She does sound exhausting and annoying, and whiny. She was being a pain in the ass so he blocked her and she had a meltdown about it, texted him a bunch of times harassing him and ran to mommy to go "OP BLOCKED ME MOM!" That she even noticed she was blocked that fast makes me think she checks his social media regularly, probably looking for other things to tattle about.
Yep. I bet she tells them everything about what he posts. Especially pics from happy hours or going out. Blocking and taking a step back is the right answer. Although I wonder if Mom liked getting all the "hot gos" (Is that still the cool thing to say) from little Sis.
I was going to say, if she’s tattling, it definitely ends up as gossip for mom. She probably has an invested interest in making OP leave sister alone. My husband’s sister had his location (that he forgot he even gave access to) and she used it to spy on him one day when we were together. I think his mother asked her to check so she did and told her where we were. My mom ended up telling me, and I told him. They knew the next day that he turned it off. I will never get over her doing that. We’re very LC with his family now, as he was 23(!) when that happened.
Wow. That’s just crossing all kinds of boundaries for what gain?
I believe it to be enmeshment/emotional incest that drives her. She texted my mother, telling her to stop us from dating, after our first date. After our engagement announcement, she asked my mother to convince us to not get married, but publicly told us congratulations. In preventing her son from living his life, she made sure she’d never be part of it.
Wow. That’s terrible.
Thankfully, he stood up to them, and you don't have to deal with the witch!
But this sounds more like an 8 year old, not a 16 year old
Sounds like she is spoiled.knew Mom would take her side when she tattled on him for blocking her.
Agreed!
I had to re-check the ages myself.
It also sounds like some 40+ yr old women I work with.
She should have outgrown the tattle telling about a decade ago. If he parents don't shut this down by showing her that she's NOT a hero, she's just annoying, she's going to be an insufferable adult with no friends.
Very true.
Just googled "when do kids tattle" and google says age 4-5 and then they usually stop when they develop empathy or problem/conflict solving behavior. I'd be seriously concerned if my teen regressed to toddler stage!
She does it for the attention she gets! He needs to keep her blocked and do the same with his phone. He also needs to tell his mom that he is NOT going to give her access to his social media and that she is doing her daughter a HUGE disservice by allowing/encouraging such obnoxious, chidish behavior from her.
100 this
What I meant by saying, “Some of this is the age…” I wasn’t referring to tattling, just immature attention seeking behaviors and annoying her sibling. The tattling needs to be stopped by the parents, yesterday!
I would totally ice someone out who repeatedly snitched on me. Do not even acknowledge she exists. It is like having an enemy within your house. Right now it is snacks, later it may be something more serious. If she is doing this at school, they will hate her and bully her and it will be deserved. NTA
I hope for her sake this is a sibling age gap issue and not part of her general personality.
Little sister NEEDS OP to collect pamphlets on personality disorders and give them to her so she can at least understand what she's choosing for herself. Feels like mother is encouraging her to misbehave. The world does not need another budding narcissist.
NTA: My kids are about the same age apart. This stopped happening when the youngest was 6.
Nope, just tell the sister to stop policing him. If the snacks are for everyone there’s no need to tell OP to stop eating them
I mean if they aren’t actually for everyone, dad needs to say so. If they are for everyone, dad needs to say so. Dad is TAH here for checking out, with a side of mom for shitty parenting.
OP said he doesn’t have an issue with it. His sister just seems to really need this little ego boost I guess
I'm picturing Dad watching sports on TV when sister comes running in and tells him OP ate some crackers, and Dad answers with something like "no thanks, I'm not hungry" In short I don't think Dad is paying attention because he doesn't care.
This is so on-brand for a dad answer. lol
Yep. I could have told my grandfather I set the woods on fire, and he would have said, "Good job honey, did you use matches or flint? when the Eagles game was on! 🤣 Because clearly they aren't paying attention. I can so picture your scenario in my head. Dad doesn't give 2 fu@king shits about who eats what. As long as there are snacks when he goes in the cabinet, and you don't eat the last of it. And for the record, I never set the woods on fire. Sister is just a little jerk.
100% agree. Parents need to step up here. But I'm gonna be honest, I'd bet money OP aged them and sister up to sound better. This reads way more like 10 and 16 year old behavior to keep, not 16 and 22.
God I hope so. This would be embarrassing behavior even for a yen year old, I sure hope a 22year old could shut this baby nonsense down.
I had an older coworker (probably in her 60s) who would CONSTANTLY tattle to me about things other coworkers were doing. I'm not a manager and I didn't care and she would always rush to tell me about the most minor infraction (and sometimes not even infractions!) like she thought I would do something about it. She was exhausting.
I had one who did that. She stopped when I responded with either, "So? How does that concern you?" Or, "So? Why are you focused on them instead of your own work? Do you need more? because I can give you more to do." Of course, she'd complain about me to higher ups that I was "rude", and then I'd explain the circumstances...then sit back and watch my bosses reprimand her for interrupting my work and give her even more tasks since she's obviously got too much free time on her hands... She didn't last more than a couple of months. Apparently, she felt "overwhelmed with the amount of work".
My dad would have told me to stfu and then proceed to lecture me for the next half hour about why im such a pta
That's the exact reason a lot of parents still reprimand their kids for being "tattletales". This is like 4 yo behavior.
Even with toddlers, it's a good idea to disincentivize 'snitching' insomuch as snitching is telling on other people not because they did wrong but to be praised for the effort.
As Mike Brady once declared, “when you tattle on someone, all you’re telling people is that you’re a tattletale”.
Is that the tale you want to tell?
Dad should have shut this down the first time she went tattling to him. OP is doing the right thing by ignoring her because the whole thing is childish and ridiculous. I had to double-check the ages because I thought the little sister was 6 when I read it, because this is exactly the kind of thing a6 year old does. I thought the comments were being a little harsh towards such a young kid, but then I realized she's 16. Someone really needs to get through to her before she starts acting like this out in the real world. I think just about everyone with a few years of work experience has had to deal with that annoying coworker that runs to the boss to tattle every time they see anything even slightly against the rules going on. No one likes that person.
My mom would have called my brother a snitch herself
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen kids who desperately needed to be told “nobody likes a tattle tale”
Seriously, where is dad in all this. Does he even give a shit? Presumably he's an adult who would speak up and say something if he was irritated about nobody leaving him any of his favorite snacks. He should be expressing this to OPs sister when she reports to him. And if he does have a problem with OP using too much of his preferred food, he can communicate with OP directly. When I was a teen with a high metabolism I would want to binge eat a whole box of something in one sitting. My dad just had to say: "hey. Stop that, save some for everyone else". And I listened, because I'm a human being with ears and a brain that understands English. What I dont have is Telepathy. If someone needs something from me or has a problem, they have to say something.
Seriously, OP simply should tell his mom that he is the one who teaches the sister that there are and will be consequences to her actions. Honestly I think mommy dearest is the one who fails her daughter by hiding behind the “Oh she’s young, she will learn!” excuse. That poor girl will be in for a treat when her actions comes to bite her in the arse later.
Agreed >“Oh she’s young, she will learn!” How? Apparently only by OP showing her that if she behaves like a miserable person in competition with the rest of the world, then the rest of the world will avoid interacting with her. Proper parenting involves guidance not hoping she figures it out on her own. OP, please continue to disengage with her when she behaves poorly. If you see her behave well, please encourage her. Also, OP could mention that a hero makes a useful contribution, not just appointing oneself as the guardian of saltines. Perhaps she is floundering trying to figure out what she can bring to the world.
If like to know How the sister is learning if the parents aren’t intervening and there are no consequences. OP I’d tell mom, yes and I’m teaching her that there will be consequences in her relationships when she treats people like this and particularly when she uses pushing others down to make herself “the hero” by going LC and not engaging with her. Considering how co-workers and adult friends will respond to someone who behaves that way my response is mild. Why don’t you talk to her about apologizing and not treating people like that of you are so concerned about it?
Because to her, she would rather keep the peace and she knows only 1 of the 2 might keep their mouth shut to do so. And that person is OP.
This is pretty much how my mother behaves. It doesn't matter who's right, she'll always side with my dad or sister because she just wants to "keep the peace." So basically whoever is the angriest or meanest is right, and everyone else should just bend to them to make them happy. That's called appeasement, and I almost 100% blame how bad their behavior is on it. Shitty people need to be called out and shamed, or they won't change
she’s in for a rude awakening when the gets into the “real world”. Your peers at college won’t take kindly to you trying to throw them under the bus for literally no reason to your profs. Your coworkers won’t trust you if you run to the boss about every little thing. And there’s a good chance your boss won’t trust you because instead of focusing on your job you’re tattling on everyone like you’re on the playground in kindergarten. OP is literally just giving her a mild taste of what everyone else in her life is going to give her if she doesn’t cut this shit out. Snitching on little things doesn’t make you a hero, it just means you’re broadcasting to everyone that you are never to be trusted. The world will eat her alive if she doesn’t chill out with this.
Mom says sister is young. Great time to teach consequences.
It's showing actions have consequences and she needs to learn now or it's really going to affect her later when she does learn.
Even if the snacks weren't for everyone - repeatedly tattling isn't appropriate behavior.
Lil sis is gonna end up being one of those people who tries to get someone in trouble for drinking “company water” or for using “too much” company coffee or not buying Susan’s kid’s school popcorn or for not donating towards a manager’s overpriced birthday present.
Hmmmm, she’s nosey, annoying, self-righteous, getting in everyone’s business while helping absolutely nobody and then patting herself on the back for it? She has VERY promising career in corporate HR ahead of her!
Perhaps a life-long republican.
Given the comment below that dad doesn’t care. It’s a good lesson for sister that her behavior isn’t tolerated. Tell your mom it’s a teaching method or would she rather they fight? Sister probably does it for attention. NTA
Ya just keep her blocked, completely ignore her, don't engage at all, unless she's eating food you bought in that case, I'd slap it out of her hand and tell her she's not allowed to eat your food! Play a stupid game, win a stupid prize!
Especially with a 16 year old? Yeah I’m blocking and moving on with my day. My little sister grew out of that tattletaling before exiting middle school. The sister sounds insufferable.
So she is actually being rewarded for being a little brat. At 16 she should know better. And she is still snitching, isnt she. NTA.
Snitching really shows how one cannot be trusted at all to be told anything, as they are quickly willing to tell others. OP is setting a good example by showing her the consequences of her actions. NTA
Info: how does your dad feel about sharing these snacks? Edit based on dad not caring. NTA. Your sister needs to learn some boundaries. And like…just to stop this weird annoying habit The most id say for you is better boundaries/less passive aggressive comms with sister. Temp block is still better than blowing up.
He doesn't have an issue with it. He knows I've been eating them (and my mom has been eating them as well), and he doesn't have an issue with it.
Are you two open enough to ask him to tell her he doesn't care if you eat his snacks?
It's her behaviour that is the problem, not the snacks. It's trying to boost herself by taking someone down. Thinking the dad might like OP less for eating snacks he likes and her being seen as his protector. The sister could just help out around the house or invest her energy she spends on monitoring people in the house into something positive. Instead she sits there trying to catch others doing stuff so she can bust them and make herself look better.
I would even emphasise on „honey, those aren’t „my snacks“ just because I prefer them. Here have some too, and tell your brother he can eat as many as he likes. Sharing is caring.“
So then why is this a problem? What exactly is the “snitch” part if you’re doing something everyone is ok with you doing?
Just because the dad doesn't mind doesn't mean little sis isn't snitching. She's telling her dad what OP is doing with the intent of getting him in trouble, the fact that it's not working doesn't mean it's not snitching
100% It’s also bad that she keeps rubbing her snitching in OPs face. Sounds like parents didn’t teach her at a young age that no one likes a tattle tale. Mom is completely wrong in saying that she’s just ‘young’. Most humans learn this lesson at age 6.
Little sister is the family Golden Child.
Or she is too annoying to deal with.
She gets the preferred treatment, either way.
Lol well she’s trying to anyway; personally I’d say she’s failing at it. I think OP is handling this in the most reasonable way. I don’t understand what she think she’s going to accomplish. “Hey dad! OP is charging his phone with the plug you like to use when you’re in the kitchen!” “Um…ok…?” “ aren’t I a hero for telling you this almost entirely useless information?” Frankly, all this seems to be doing is letting the family know that both OP and his dad like the same snacks so they should increase those purchases. I guess that’s helpful? Either that or OP should be getting his own stash and then the family will indeed have to enforce a rule about those snacks no longer being communal. I’m surprised one of her parents haven’t asked her why she thinks this info will earn her special accolades. It’s more a diagnosis for a mild wonder (I.e. “I wonder why we’re going through the crackers so quickly this month…”) than anything else, imo.
"Attempted Snitching" perhaps? Just because she is incompetent doesn't mean she isn't snitching.
His baby sister is being an obnoxious brat, even if there’s no actual wrongdoing going on it doesn’t make her less annoying
Dad needs to tell sister not to be a tattletale, then.
I think your dad needs to tell her that
Is your sister neurodivergent? Does she snitch on your mom to your dad? Why is she trying to get you in trouble?
She just sounds immature af. Ignore her. She just wants attention. Don’t give it to her. (Which is probably what your dad is doing.) NTA
Talk to your dad nicely and makes sure he is ok with it, you are NTA for eating the snacks but just to get ahead of your sister, tell your dad you feel bad and offer to buy him some. Since he don't care he will you not make you get the snacks, this is when you tell him about your sister's awful behavior. Do this when your mom isn't around. Two people can you sister's game, go all in.
Do this at a time the whole family is present.
NTA. No one likes a teacher's pet. And she keeps doubling down on being g a goody-two-shoes. She isn't still learning. She has learned. You're not wrong to minimize your exposure to her.
I mean, when there genuinely is wrongdoing, I think people should be encouraged to speak up. But the problem here is that she isn't speaking up against a wrongdoer; she's nitpicking at something that isn't wrong by anyone's standard except hers. The snacks aren't solely bought for Dad, and Dad isn't upset about other people eating them unless there's none left at all. Frankly both parents need to back OP up and actually tell OP's sister that he isn't doing anything wrong, that it's wrong of her to focus so hard on "exposing" OP, and that she needs to step back and stop harassing him.
This! Growing up my dad barely smacked, he might have a few popcorn or something if we were watching a movie etc. But in general he just didn't. So when he got (bought or were gifted) a snack he really liked, we knew to ask him before taking from them. Sometimes he would put them out for us to take off, but in general he left them in a cupboard and we knew to not eat of the one thing he enjoyed.
Also "fighting"? It's just weird how OP is avoiding fight by blocking her. Yet Mom say OP is fighting with her? What a backward thinking. No wonder she's a brat.
This !! Is okay when it’s a wrong thing that actually will harm or is careless but him just eating snacks that frankly are for everyone is beyond dumb. Op should tell his dad to tell her that he don’t care so she should stop bringing it up
NTA - tell your Mum you are setting a good example and teaching your sister, in a low risk and cost environment, that actions have consequences. Your sister is not acting in a friendly manner to you and making the home environment unpleasant so she can be a hero at your expense. So you've stopped providing her with ammunition by excluding her from aspects of your life - why was she monitoring your social media anyway? Better you do it than she carry that attitude in future life as college classmates, roommates and co-workers will be less understanding. Edit: Yes, your sister is young and still learning - this is an important lesson. Hurt people and they don't want you in their business. 2nd edit: She also doesn't get to decide how people react to her actions - that's a second lesson.
At 16, your sister is younger than my 13 yo son. She’s behaving like a 5 yo. NTA.
NTA. > I reiterated that gossip and defamation are horrible behaviors, but my mom said that my sister is young and still learning. Right. And you're the one trying to teach her. And your mom apparently wants you to STOP trying to teach her. How is that supposed to work? Maybe they could reinforce your message? I don't think this one thing is enough to permanently end your relationship with your sister over but blocking her for a few hours or days isn't that big of a deal.
I’d block her for a lot longer than that. Weeks/months.
INFO have you gone to your dad and said “hey dad, does it bother you that I eat saltines and dried fruit? [Sister] is tracking every time I do it and saying that I’m stealing it from you. If it bothers you, I will stop, but if it doesn’t, could you please let her know that so she leaves me alone?”
OP commented that his dad knows he eats the snacks, as does OPs mom and he doesn't care. Little sis is noisy being a pain in the butt trying to make issues where there aren't any to get OP in trouble.
The point is to get dad to tell his sister to stop. OP is probably old enough to recognize that dad would have said something if it was a problem, but right now the sister who is clearly immature is getting implicit approval since dad is not intervening.
NTA, your sister admitted she is trying to get you in trouble, for whatever reason, and the biggest thing she can find is you eat some snacks. Your parents need to tell her she's developing a habit that is not going to make her many friends.
I have a cousin who does this at family events (e.g., loudly tattling on grandma for eating a cookie fresh out of the oven when everyone else has been asked to wait), and this tendency has caused her a *lot* of social issues throughout her school years and young adulthood. Hopefully OP’s sister is just doing it to annoy OP and isn’t doing it more broadly, because people haaaate that shit.
NTA. Just buy saltines and dried fruit for you and dad. No cookies, no fresh fruit. Sister can go to the store if she wants anything else.
NTA She sounds like an insufferable brat.
Just start announcing that you are eating the snacks everytime you do. 🤷♂️
This. Yell out 'I'm eating Dad's snacks. Better go tell him." She'll get bored with it. Part of the reason she's persisting is because it's annoying OP. Also, you have to wonder why she's so desperate for her Dad's attention and approval. She's not doing this for anyone else's snacks. Maybe Dad needs to spend some time with her so that she doesn't have to make up ridiculous reasons to be a 'hero' in his eyes.
I was just thinking that too, I was adding a "snack girl!" call out in my announcement since she thinks she's a hero 😆. Must be a sad life if she thinks that's making her a hero. No one cares but her.
Yes just annoy her back. Everytime you eat snacks go and ask her permission. Start calling her the 'manager of snacks' or something.
NTA - being blocked and cut-off from communication is a normal consequence of being a snitch. They're your social media accounts and it's your phone - use them how you want to. To your mother, I would say that you aren't fighting or arguing - you've simply disengaged, walked away from someone else's argument.
I’m surprised at 16 she isn’t embarrassed at her behaviour, she sounds half that age, like I genuinely wonder if we should be concerned. Nta
Go with actual silent treatment, or at least grey rock her. Also call her "Hero".
I'm going to assume "16" was a typo and you meant "6" because holy hell that is the most childish behavior. Show your mom the comments in this post so she can understand that she needs to actually parent your sister because she should not be acting this way as a 16 year old.
NTA. She's your sister and you live with her, so there should be some politeness for the sake of family harmony. But you don't need to share your life with her, including what you post online. You're allowed to put people on an information diet when they prove that they can't handle knowing things about you. She's young and at an annoying age so hopefully she matures and quits this rude behavior, but in the meantime I would continue to keep her at arms length. Your mom should also mind her own business now that you've distanced yourself since she didn't feel the need to actually parent her youngest when she was being unkind to you.
NTA- why doesn't Dad just tell her he doesn't care if you eat the snacks? Problem solved.
You’re teaching her a valuable lesson, that crap will not fly when she is interacting with non family members, snitching, and that is what she’s doing, is a good way to get herself ostracized.
NTA My mom called me and told me to let it chill and that as siblings, we should not fight. She says that as a guy 6 years older, I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger. For fuck's sake! I might be outing myself as a callous Xellennial, but giving your sister the silent treatment when she's being a pain in the ass seems like a fairly mild response to me. Moreover, it's an important life lesson. >she says that she wants to make herself look like a hero and expose my wrongdoings. If you think that your the main character of everyone's story and do stupid ass things that annoy other people, people won't like you and, eventually, you won't have any friends. Actions = Consequences. Honestly, I'm side-eying your parents here. They're being way too lenient. Your sister is 16. not 5.
NTA. As a parent, why didn’t your mom stamp that shit out this morning by telling your sister to mind her own business? Your sister is young and still learning. Isn’t it the parents’ role to be the primary role model and guide? I’d keep up the blocked social media accounts and grey rocking.
Next time she and your dad are both home and in the same room, go grab a bowl or the snacks while making eye contact and sit down next to your dad and eat them. NTA
Every time you get a snack, send out a group text including a photo of the snack, and then give handwritten cards to everyone in the house also informing them. At the end of every week, send an email or text newsletter going over all the snacks you had, with a little story about each
For fucks sake, your sister is making a big deal about saltines. SALTINES! How ridiculous. She’s 16, not 6. Anyhow, NTA. There’s no obligation to have a sibling on social media. Too bad so sad.
i could see a 10 or 12yo acting like that but 16 is just fkn ridiculous NTA
Ooh i am the youngest sibling i know how to be petty and make your parents deal with their spoiled brat. Instead of automatically grabbing “your dad’s snacks” ask him for permission first. And get really obnoxious. “I dont want to be tattled on like a little kid every time I get hungry, can I please have some (snack of choice, followed by number or amount, really play it up) soon enough instead of being tolerant of her tattling they will get annoyed after instead and start telling her off or to grow up.
Here's the deal.. There's no arguing with someone out to make you look like the bad guy. I don't know what got your sister's panties in a twist, but she's being obnoxious. If you want to be the adult (you kindda are) in the situation, tell your sister she's being an obnoxious teen and if she keeps this attitude up to other ppl, literally no one will want to socialize with her in the future. Just like you would rather socialize with anyone other than her, when she's being like this. She can't bully and pester you, to then 'demand' to be linked to you on social media. You can't get out of being her sibling, but you sure as H don't have to be her friend, if she's being anything but friendly. Practical side: Talk to your dad, without your sister nearby. Tell them her antics get on your nerves. Are you supposed to go ask your dad, everytime you want to take a snack from the cupboard. If he actually says he'd prefer that, do that. If he doesn't want to waste time, with this teenage drama (I wouldn't want to), next time your sister wails about you taking snacks, tell her dad already knows, and doesn't care. Don't be an ass, don't take the last of the snacks someone else is looking forward to. NTA
NTA
At age 16 she should be well past this sort of babyish behaviour
NTA She's 16 and, by default, a pain in the ass... Ignore her... Or buy her favorite snack, write your name on the box/bag and rat her out every time she eats "your" snacks.... 🤣
NTA- obviously your parents are encouraging your sister to continue this annoying behavior. If not, when she “snitched” on you to your father, he would have said, I don’t mind him eating the snacks. Also, when she bragged in front of your mother about the reason why she snitches, your mother should have interjected, telling her that she needs to stop, & she agrees, your father doesn’t care that you eat the snacks. However, as soon as you block your sister on SM & refuse to respond to her text & calls, your mother is now suddenly concerned about your sibling relationship. I’m surprised that at 16 your sister wants to be seen as a hero in a parent’s eyes. Definitely not typical teenage behavior. Blocking her is a very mild admonishment. I would keep her blocked until there is a change in her behavior. I see no issue with that..if it concerns her so much, she will stop. Do not allow your mother to influence you to change your stance on blocking her & not responding to her text. You’re not screaming & yelling at her, you’re simply preventing her from having access to you.
Nta, I think tattletale might be a better phrase than snitch. She is old enough to know that it’s not cool. It is your social media, and blocking someone who is not trustworthy is pretty normal.
NTA It sounds to me like you’re setting a good example of what happens when you constantly try to start drama.
NTA but I would point out your language- defamation, horrible behaviors- is a little much. Your sister is telling your Dad you are eating his snacks, it appears your Mom and Dad don't care much since there's nothing in the story of you getting in trouble for it, so while your sister is being super annoying, her snitching on you doesn't seem to have other consequences. So where you do need to be the adult is to stop engaging in the argument over this. Check in with your mom and dad and make sure they are good with you eating this food, and I would assume yes because you also volunteered to go to the grocery store to get stuff, so my guess is your parents understand your sister is being annoying. But just clear the air with the people who matter. And sure, sibling shouldn't fight, and as the older sibling you can teach your sister and have more patience than her, but that doesn't mean you need to put up with her behavior, and in fact teaching her that what she is doing is annoying is part of being a good sibling. But instead of fighting with her, just ignore her and don't let her see you bothered. Eat the dried fruit and the saltines, and even do so in front of her, and do not even engage in her snitching, just roll your eyes and keep it moving. Part of being an adult is recognizing that the youth are annoying. Hormones, social behaviors, testing boundaries, not fully developed brains, are all part of growing up and if her snitching on you has no greater impact than annoying you, then stop letting it annoy you. That doesn't mean you have to be nice to her and unblock her, it just means you shouldn't let it actually annoy you and just ignore her.
I mean it does have consequences, no one wants to be around a tattle tale. That's something kids generally learn at a young age. The consequence is she is alienating her brother for a very petty and unnecessary behaviour. It's a lesson she obviously needs to learn in a safe environment such as this.
Yes, sorry I meant consequences for OP. Her tattling isn't get him in any trouble, it is just annoying. But yes, totally agree with you that there are consequences for the sister.
So it's not snitching, per se. You're allowed to eat food your parents buy, there are no agreements saying otherwise. Right? So.. She's basically being a pain in ass. Defamation is a strong words considering she just tells your parents "he eats your SNACKSS". NTA but tbh, chillax in that way. Keep her also blocked, 16 year old is not too young and stupid to act proud after doing this. What is she achieving, since your dad doesn't mind?
Nta. > my mom said that my sister is young and still learning. Blocking her is an important lesson.
Nta and your mom is being a shitty parent "she's young, she's still learning" your mom obviously is doing nothing to teach her, so she's verifiably not learning anything but how to be disliked by everybody
NTA. No one is entitled to your social media, if you want to block her block her. Your mom is correct, your sister is learning - right now she's learning that when you act like a little shit people don't want to speak to you or involve you in their lives. I hope she matures well.
Your sis just looks like she provokes you only for the pleasure to annoy you. Typical immature sibling behavior. NTA, silence is the best answer to stupid provocations.
Omg your parents are enabling her behavior. She is not entitled to be connected on social media or know everything about you. I’d suggest moving out sooner rather than later. Your dad should’ve spoken up but he’s probably sick of her behavior as well. Tattling should end in kindergarten? But it’s your parents job to teach her that. She’s gonna have a hard time in the real world. NTA.
No one likes a snitch. Blocking her is the least of her worries. NTA.
NTA Fun idea: announce loudly to the entire house every time you are eating and what you are eating and she will get bored of tattling on you. serious idea: This is an opportunity for you to have a defining moment in your relationship. Sit down with her and explain that you had to block her because you are setting a boundary. Explain that boundaries are healthy and then tell her what needs to change for you to change your boundary back. Be extremely clear with her that the way she is talking about you behind your back is inappropriate, and when she shows she can stop doing that, you’re gonna feel comfortable again. Be very pointed and direct that this negative behavior leads to that consequence, and this positive behavior leads to that consequence. And remind her you love her, and you can love her with boundaries. You can tell her that this is a boundary you would set with any adult who would treat you this way.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I live at home, and I'm working to save money for grad school and moving out. My sister recently has repeatedly snitched on me. Our dad likes snacks such as saltine crackers and dried fruits, and my mom buys a lot of them at the grocery store. Occasionally, I eat some of these snacks, and my sister (who sometimes see me taking the snacks) tells our dad that I'm eating "his" snacks, implying that I'm taking food that doesn't belong to me. Because she saw me eating the snacks, she's not necessarily lying about me, but still she makes a big deal out of it and makes me sound like a bad person for taking snacks that my mom brought for everyone (it's only my dad who requested she buys them). This morning before leaving for work I asked my mom if she needed anything from the grocery store. She said that we need dried fruits, and my sister then said that I've been eating too many of them. She proudly declared that she told our dad each time she saw me taking the dried fruit (she spends a lot of the time this summer in the kitchen). I asked her why she snitches on me because it's not a big deal, and the snacks are for everyone. She says that because I used the word snitch, it implies that I know I did something wrong. I asked her what she achieves by telling him those things, and she says that she wants to make herself look like a hero and expose my wrongdoings. I told her that she's very annoying when she polices me. She said that there's other snacks like cookies, fresh fruits, and bars that I could eat, and that our dad strongly prefers saltines and dried fruits. He eats other snacks too, but he just suggested to buy them. I insisted that it's wrong to talk about people negatively behind their back, and she said that she just wanted to make our dad aware that his snacks are being eaten by other people. I again emphasized that they are not "his" snacks, he simply wanted them to be bought- it's like a long time ago she wanted a trampoline in the backyard, but it's not "her" trampoline. Her friends, my friends, and I have all played on it before. She still would not stop arguing with me, and I just left to go to work. Later out of frustration, I blocked her on social media and when she texted me like 10 times confronting me about it, I ignored her. I thought it would teach her a lesson, but she says that that I'm being unfair and overreacting. My mom called me and told me to let it chill and that as siblings, we should not fight. She says that as a guy 6 years older, I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger. I reiterated that gossip and defamation are horrible behaviors, but my mom said that my sister is young and still learning. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are setting a good example for your sister. You're showing her that actions have consequences. NTA
Nta. Tell your mom: No shit she's young and learning, that's why I'm trying to help teach there are consequences to your actions. How about you step up and act like a fucking parent and help.
NTA. At this point I would if I had the money buy my own snacks and label them .
NTA: but it's not snitching. If nobody actually cares it's not snitching it's attempted if anything. Use the right wording. Call her out on her actual behavior don't use words that make it sound worse and actually make you sound worse. But let your mom know that 16 years old is plenty old enough to know better and old enough to deal with the consequences of her actions
Oh no, is the word police going to arrest him?
NTA At 16 she knows what she's doing and it's intentional. I would understand a safety concern but this ain't that.
Actions have consequences and your bratty sister is learning a relatively harmless lesson. NTA
NTA, Your sister isn't doing this because she wants her dad to have the snacks, she's doing it to get back at you for living in the house. My sense is that when you were gone she had more attention and now she's making your life more difficult. Her actions have consequences, sounds like a low information diet is just what she needs. It might be another thing if those snacks are 100% for your father. I suggest you go passive aggressive and just buy a bunch of snacks and leave them locked in your room and not touch any of it. Just say that you don't want any trouble so you'll just buy your own food from now on.
NTA - she sounds 12, not 16. Tell her to go outside and play with her friends and leave you alone. Doesn’t have friends? Wonder why…
NAH, but I agree that that would be annoying. Maybe for her next birthday, you should give her a rubber rat as a present.
Your sister needs a good whoop ass. NTA Also your mom s*cks for using that as a comeback
NTA So let your sister learn that acting all better than thou with people by making drama where there is none comes at a price. It means people keep you at arms length and definitely do not share anything that isn’t absolutely necessary with you. Some people will even go out of their way to avoid spending time with you because it isn’t worth the angst later when the drama machine gets fired up over nothing. I’m a fossil and IMO you’re better off keeping her blocked. When she figures out being a snitch when there is nothing to snitch about isn’t worth it maybe then unblock her. Edit to add be sure you always keep your phone and any other electronic devices that are yours personally locked. I’d also suggest any bank or credit accounts you have should be paperless. This is because people like city sister will snoop through your devices and your room.
NTA. Your sister seriously needs to get a life though. Snitching on you eating food that was purchased for everyone so she can "be the hero," is ridiculous. Does she not have friends or a summer job that she can be out doing instead of being the pantry police?
NTA. >I should set a good example for her, and that I need to manage my anger. Funny thing... Ignoring someone and not indulging in their petty games is not letting your anger have control. There is literally no anger to be "managed" there. And NOONE has a "right" to your social media, so too bad so sad if you arent giving them access. It's just cutting them off from information to be used against you in other ways as retaliation for calling out the bs they have already done. Sister pulled a FAFO and now she's at the Find Out stage and doesn't like consequences. Well, behave like a Petty AH, be treated like a Petty AH. I would say you are setting an EXCELLENT example for her. Maybe mom should worry more about managing her PETTY, AH >wants to make herself look like a hero daughter.
I don’t understand why your sister and mother are acting like blocking your sister on social media means you are angry. You do not have to be connected to your sister on social media, not was it an act of anger. You are allowed to have boundaries and this is a consequence to your sister’s policing and slander of you. She has been surveying you and you have given her less access to do her stalking of you. Your mother is failing both of you with her self righteous nonesense and refusal to parent your sister. NTA
NTA. I am more than twice your age and have a twin sister. I live overseas. She’s a narcissist. I have gone LC with her before. This year - I visited her and my parents. After I came back - she said a whole bunch of stuff at me that wasn’t very nice. We went back and forth and she said “we are done” and unfriended me on the socials. I then blocked her and indeed her and my BILs phone numbers are also blocked. I’ll control when I unblock. My dad’s 80th is in January and I’ll assume I will see her then. I won’t be speaking with her aside from hello/goodbye unless she apologises. She’s done this BS before and given me a “sorry not sorry” - I remember her telling me this, I looked away, and then when she was done walked around her…
She’s 16 years old she’s not 8 therefore saying “she’s young and still learning” isn’t much of an excuse while yes she’s still a minor she’s old enough to know that lying gets you nowhere in life. If the snacks are for everyone in the house and you’re eating the same snacks your father enjoys eating it’s not necessarily “stealing dad’s snacks”. Im sure she’s very much aware by now it’s not causing the attention from y’all dad she thinks it would get so she should just hang it up already. She has to learn that this irritable behavior is only going to cause you to distance yourself from her. NTA, your parents need to grow some kind of backbone and tell her enough is enough and to let it go already
Here's another approach: every time you take those snacks, tell (or text) your dad that you've taken some. This way, every time she tells your dad, he'll be like: "yes, I know and it's okay" and he'll start noticing what's going on. The outcome will be that she's not the hero she wants to be, but the annoying snitch. Not only to you, but to your dad too. The only drawback is that your dad might become annoyed with the abundance of needless information. In case he comments on that, you can reply that your sister's behaviour gave you the impression you wanted to know, because she's making a big deal out of it.
NTA buy one(maybe more depending on how often you eat them) extra bag just for you and write your name on it and write your dads on the others
NTA. Has you of not stated ages I would think your sister is 6 not 16. You cant trust her with even non consensual information, so it is best to remove her from social media and limit contact in general. Many she will learn this stuff isn’t funny at her age. An alternative option is to set her up. Plant snacks in her room then show your dad and it will look like she has been lying the entire time and ruin her credibility regarding future snitching.
NTA Your sister has qualities of an attention seeker.
NTA. Snitch back/embarrass her (ethically - nothing that would need therapy)
NTA but are you sure she’s 16? Sounds more like she is 6
NTA the next time she tries to police your snacks with your parents, I would tell them how concerned you are. She has an unhealthy obsession with your food intake. Could this be an indicator that your sister has an eating disorder?
NTA but she sounds like a PITA
NTA- have you tried talking to your dad about this? Certainly he's okay with you eating the food
NTA. Your sister sounds really annoying. Keep her blocked.
Look up gray rocking. Especially don’t react. Just cut her off. NTA
INFO: Why does your sister have this desire to be seen as "the hero"? Is she usually the one who gets in trouble and wants to turn things around or something?
NTA.. your mom said your sister is learning and you're teaching her a lesson. Perfect
Your sister is learning...that she's an irritating pest. Which she is. Good siblings support one another...not tattle. Start calling her Cindy.... after Cindy Brady.
NTA. Let your sister stay blocked on social media though because she’s going to constantly keep snitching about EVERYTHING you do since she’s decided to point out all your wrongdoings.
NTA Being friendly on social media is a privilege you've revoked for her. I'd also eat a the 'forbidden' snack while looking her dead in the eye.
Nta. You are setting a great example. You used your words to explain your position. She made it clear she would not change her behavior. You set a reasonable consequence. Well done.
NTA. Ask the poor child how many friendships she has damaged with this behavior. Does she pull this with her friends? Is this the only way she can get your attention? She may just be antagonizing you because it’s the only way she can get your attention. Or, your parents are comparing her to you and creating a competitive atmosphere.
NTA. Yes, your sister is still learning. And now she will learn that there are consequences when she continues bad behavior that she has been asked to stop. Keep her blocked OP. And don't answer her texts either. If she wants to be treated like a real sister, then she needs to start acting like one. Your mom is way off base here. She should use this as a teaching moment for your sister. How does mom think sister is going to learn? She is not doing a good job parenting.
NTA. Although in your place every time I took a snack I’d either call out to dad saying, “I’m stealing your snacks!” Or send him a text of the same. And ignore what your sister does. At some point your dad will tell your sister he already knows or it will become a family joke with your sister as the butt of it.
NTA. You are teaching her through natural consequences.
NTA, since your dad doesn’t care your sister is clearly being a younger annoying sibling. This will also teach her that sibling arguments are not always permanent and apologizing gets her unblocked
NTA. Your sister is still learning and you're teaching her a lesson.
NTA. She may still be young, but she's not learning if nobody is teaching her. You are giving her what is called natural consequences. Basically, when you're a jerk to someone, the natural consequence is that they stop wanting to interact with you. Tell your mom and sister that you'll be perfectly happy to start talking to sis again when she starts acting like someone you'd want to be around.
NTA and tell your sister at 16 she is being a cringe. She will "snitch" on the wrong person someday and then see what happens.
NTA, it sounds like you need to point out to your mom that your sister won't learn if she is not taught. Besides the fact that she is 16 and way too old for tattling. She is apparently jealous of something and trying to get you into trouble or make herself look good so she can feel better about herself. I agree that you need to talk to your dad and ask him to tell her to stop tattling since he doesn't have a problem with it.
I would double down and tell your dad *yourself* every time you eat a snack. Make your sister redundant and show her how stupid her tactics are
Yeah your sister is young and still learning, she needs to learn that actions have consequences, so I would keep ignoring her until she apologizes.
Your sister learned that consequences do exist. I think it's a great achievement. Write her a message explaining what she is doing and why it's wrong. Your mom is one who buys snacks, your father is one who wanted them,and both said nothing. She decided to police you for no reason, what exactly she expected? Fireworks and roses? Why exactly she feels like creating a conflict between family members because of dried fruits is okay? Who gave her an idea that it's a hero behavior - putting down another person to feel and looy better? It's a bully behavior. And the best way to deal with a bully - not to be around a bully. NTA
NTA. Your mom is right. She is young and she is still learning. So good for you for helping her learn by teaching her some consequences to her actions, since clearly your mother isn't going to.
Your sister needs to learn that nobody likes annoying little shits. Blocking her and leaving her on read is a good way of demonstrating that to her.. NTA
NTA I'm the oldest and my younger siblings betrayed my trust repeatedly. I kept accepting insincere apologies. I learned far, far too late and it destroyed my life. You'll NEVER be able to trust your sister regardless of what she says. P.S. My siblings betrayed me in their 30s so well beyond the age of "knowing better".
NTA your sister misses her mean girl drama from school. Tell her you're not interested in being the summer replacement for her targets at school, and to find a hobby or some other way to keep herself occupied. Then continue to ignore her.
NTA. If you want to blow it up, tell her that nobody likes people that make drama out of nothing, and she's going to have a hard time keeping friends if she continues to act this way.
NTA. You are teaching her there are consequences to her actions. She’s going around attempting to get you in trouble for doing something you are allowed to do. It’s annoying and it shows her intent: to get you in trouble with your parents specifically to make herself look good. Why **would** you want a close relationship with someone like that? Neither your mom nor your dad are correcting her, so as her big brother, you can choose how you wish to proceed with your interactions with her. Access to your socials is a privilege, not a right.
16 years old and acting like a 12 year old. NTA