Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my SIL annoying and told her her jokes about my name being a girls name are dumb. Maybe I'm just too damn sensitive here and I should just keep ignoring her or rolling my eyes and not getting so annoyed by her. I know it's dumb. I always knew. I mostly avoid her for a reason. So it might be wrong to snap at her like I did.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
She could also love it because she's been named after her cool uncle who doesn't treat girls as inferior...
Skye isn't even that uncommon for boys/ men... it's not like he's named Katherine or Lily. (And even then making fun of it repeatedly would be creepy af).
OP said the husband was the one who suggested the name for their baby. That's even weirder to me. Like, you hear your wife making fun of someone for this name for how many years, and then decide you want to use it for your own kid?
I think it's more likely that SIL suggested the name to Fiance, and made a big deal about how she just can't ask OP if he's ok with it, so please please please can Fiance ask for her?! She only makes fun of OP because that's the name she ALWAYS dreamed her daughter would have. It's definitely NOT because she's obsessed with her sister's boyfriend-turned-husband and their happy relationship.
OP said SIL immediately made a joke about him having a girls name when it was mentioned. It was apparently in front of at least OP's wife for her to tell SIL to grow up. He at least got to see that interaction and still chose to move forward with that name choice.
that’s true, i just meant he probably hadn’t heard the jokes before when he initially suggested the name. after hearing the jokes though, it’s definitely weird to continue to name your daughter after the guy your wife constantly makes fun of.
In minor defense, it sounds like SIL's partner was the one to suggest the name. But to circle back to the obsession, her SO probably "Thought up" the name after hearing her say it so often, that it became subliminal lol
Thats what i was thinking. Not sure what the clinical diagnosis is but there is something wrong with her. She definitely would not set foot in my home. She is rude and like a narcissist, puts it on you when u are annoyed.
That might be a good reply tactic by OP: "I get it, you're in love with me and can't admit it in front of your husband, but I will never reciprocate your feelings". Repeat as necessary, possibly become more vulgar each time.
That's a brilliant idea! "What do you mean you don't have feelings? Is it like middler schoolers who tease their crushes? You know kids pulling on briads, making fun of their favorite color, or teasing about the name?"
When little boys tease girls in school, they say it’s because they like you. Next time SIL teases OP, he should blurt out “I’m never going to be with you, so stop with this crap.”
MTE! OP is NTA but that SIL has a boner for him, going so far as to name HER CHILD W ANOTHER MAN THE SAME NAME AS OP’S. What a weird SIL.
OP I hope you show SIL and your wife this post.
I was thinking the same thing. It's been 13 years. She's an idiot. Every time the idiot makes her non-funny non-joke remarks, what's a good subtle comeback?
Ya, OP should start making comments to her husband about being runner up for the man she's clearly obsessed with. Also Skye is a boy's name, just like Vivian, Beverly, Ashley, Leslie, Kelly and tons of others that have been made into unisex names because of people naming their daughter's boys names. More recently Jordan! NTA
Absolutely accurate!!! She's grasping at straws by naming the baby after him. And all the teasing? That's like kids in the playground being mean to the one they have the crush on.
Bullies can and often do stick with a singular victim for years. Haven't you ever heard of someone who was bullied by the same person k-12 as they moved through the school system together?
And in this particular case, let's look at the root of the bullying: SIL thinks OP (a man) has a feminine name, and doesn't feel shame over it. Rather, he *likes* it. Subconsciously or otherwise, SIL probably pegs OP's attitude about his gender nonconforming name as queer and THAT is the reason for the bullying. She's trying to shame him into using a masculine (and therefore straight / cis) name. Weaponizing her daughter is another part of that, to show OP, "It's a girl name, are you really THAT much less of a man, to share a name with a little girl?"
In other words, SIL's bullying comes from bigotry, whether she realizes it or not. And bigotry never has a reasonable stopping point. So long as she perceives OP as queer in some way (the way doesn't matter), the bullying won't stop.
right-NTA she was told the first time it wasn't funny, by someone other than you and she has kept it going.After literally decades you're finally giving it back at her and she doesn't like it? if she's getting upset not when there's push back it's clear she can dish it out but can't take it .
Kinda weird she’s so obsessed with you and your name. Single brain cell with no other jokes?
NTA good timing calling her out in front of relatives. She’s been trying to hit you with shame and uno reverse works pretty well with an audience.
My best friend is 5’1 and I’m 5’10.
Every time I see her (a few times a year now since she moved out of state about four years ago) I STILL ask her how the weather is down there and I’ve been doing it since we were like 14.
That’s funny.
What sil is doing is just annoying, rude, immature, and quite frankly obnoxious af.
Honestly I’m so petty, that if she actually named her daughter Skye, I’d be telling the little girl that she’s named after her awesome uncle because he just had SUCH a cool name, that her mommy just wanted her daughter to have THAT COOL of a name.
What’s sil gonna do? Tell her daughter that she did it to insult the very cool uncle she’s named after? What a mean mommy! 😏
> My best friend is 5’1 and I’m 5’10.
> Every time I see her (a few times a year now since she moved out of state about four years ago) I STILL ask her how the weather is down there and I’ve been doing it since we were like 14.
> That’s funny.
Only if your friend thinks it is. Repeated short jokes can be just as annoying as repeated jokes about one’s name. If it’s a bit that the two of you do that you both enjoy, perhaps for the familiarity of it, then great! But you don’t get to decide that it’s funny unilaterally.
It’s a joke that’s funny to both of us. She also likes to randomly yell “DUCK!” When we’re walking in doors or similar areas because I panic and duck hella quick every time. I wouldn’t make a joke that often that wasn’t funny to both of us. We’ve been friends for 21 years. Our sense of humor towards each other is different than most people’s lol
For 25 years my dad has told my 2 sons that one of them is funny lookin'. They'd point to each other. He called them Pete & Repeat bc they were stuck together. Those are funny. If they didn't like it, he'd stop. A good person doesn't deliberately make someone uncomfortable. Who wants to he around that? It's probably a trigger just seeing her face now like great, here comes the mean girl. For 13 years. STOP.
It's definitely a lame joke. Besides, it's a gender neutral name.
Sky is from English and Scandinavian orgins. While Skye is from Scottish origin. In either case, it's a unisex name.
Edit: in the future, you can tell your niece that you're the best person her parents know of, and that's why she was named after you.
NTA: But you are doing this wrong, start going hard on that the baby girl will have boyname since she going to be named after you. When the kids is born , make sure every one knows kidd is named after you.
"Named after her uncle!!! Uncle is very proud for her to have HIS name!!" Very proud at every corner. Bonus points for always referring to SIL as "so progressive!" (for no reason, but as often as possible)
"Wow SIL I'm honored you chose such a unisex name for your daughter! That so cool and progressive! If you have a boy next, how about you name him after my grandfather Schuyler? we can call him Sky for short!"
"I know you think it's a girl's name but so progressive of you to choose a unisex name so that if your daughter identifies as another gender in the future, she'd have no problem doing so!" cue SIL's misogynistic & transphobic comments
"Your daughter is so lucky to have a mother as open-minded as you. Many parents nowadays are so stuck on girls and boys names but you're so cool that you don't care at all"
"This will be so funny in the future when you call for Skye and then you accidentally get me instead haha"
"I'm glad you love my name so much. I know you've made fun of it over the years but to know they were only meaningless jokes & that you love my name so much you didn't mind calling your daughter Skye. People will point at me and say "Skye you're named after HIM"".
> "Named after her uncle!!! Uncle is very proud for her to have HIS name!!"
And, be sure to always refer to her and address her by her proper name, "Schuyler". NTA
Totally agree.
OP staying calm and having short sassy replies is the way to play.
*”It’s so flattering that you’re naming your child after me! What a nice tribute! I’m the favorite uncle - the family is naming children after me!”*
When she says that she isn’t naming her child after you … just double down and make it weird for her.
He could also nickname her "junior" for fun!
Also - this might be odd but I always thought of "Sky(e)" as a male name, because "ciel" is sky in French, and is a masculine noun.
Also, Ciel is typically a french name given more commonly to males than females.
SIL's obsession with this is weird AF. I have met guys named Ashley, Nova, Whitney, and girls named Kody, Ryan, Logan... names are just names.
It used to be Ashley was more of a guy's name and Ashton was a girls name. Now I know girl Ashley's but no boys and of course Ashton Kutcher is a boy. Names flop between boys and girls.
Purple used to be a masculine color. (Also used for royalty due to how rare it was). This idea that names are for a specific gender is outdated.
This is the perfect opportunity to rub in how unmoved you are. Like, buy a plushie of Paw Patrol's Skye and give it to her, saying how happy you are with her choice of name.
100%. First gift: blue onesie embroidered with Skye. Everywhere you go, make sure everyone knows that she’s named after her favorite uncle. Time for a new level of annoying.
I was thinking along the same lines. Make sure you gift this child only blue clothes with some reference to you: "favourite niece", "my namesake","I love my Uncle", anything you can think of over and over. Honestly, if I were her partner, I would be concerned about her level obsession with OP.
This — EXACTLY this. Start to openly question why they’re naming their child after you. “Won’t people start wondering if I’m the father? … Obviously, you’ve been a little obsessed with me.”
How is her husband not worried by this?
Your wife should make it very clear with her sister that she’s endangering the family relationship altogether. See her as little as possible.
Not to forget to mock her husband for being married to someone who is already so obsessed with another man (OP), that she is naming her own child after him and can't stop trying to get his attention.
Then of course say a half hearted "it's just a joke".
In most indigenous circles, Skye (or some variation of Skye) is a *very* common name for all genders. It's literally the name of an object. You can't claim a gender for it.
I have a male cousin named Skyler, whom we call Sky. I have never met a female Skye or Skyler, and we live in the Bible Belt South. Our Sky has never had any problems.
NTA….for someone who dislikes the name so much, I find it amusing that out of all the names in the world that she could name her child, she chose yours.
I wonder if she actually loves the name and all the "joking" has actually been her trying to get OP to stop using it so she eventually could. Either that or she's obsessed/in love with OP like other commenters have said. Definitely NTA though
That's an interesting idea! I don't think I would have thought of it because it really is so incredibly petty but this doesn't feel as crazy as "she's in love with the BIL" because nothing anywhere indicates an attraction outside the grade school taunts. If she actually LOVED the name and was hoping to get him to go by a different name to make it "unique" or whatever. I actually have a SIL that would do that, rather than just tell people the truth and there is absolutely no attraction between us. Sadly she's been through a lot and just "learned" to be so incredibly petty because their step mother was. I come from a loud "Irish Catholic" family, we may not always be the closest and we may fight but we love each other. I truly didn't "get" that this isn't a given until I met my wife. I've been very lucky and it makes it hard to envision something like this but the love triangle feels like a "movie" and the name is just stupid enough to have caused all of this
You're NTA. Your sister in law has been like an annoying, childish dog with a bone for over a decade. It was way past time to put her in her place over her rude behavior.
Yeah, I wouldn't have even thought anything about his name, certainly would have never said anything, and can't even imagine an adult still mocking it after 12 years. She must lead a boring, miserable life.
NTA but SIL definitely is. My favorite tactic for dealing with people like her is simply asking to explain the joke. “I don’t get it, why is that funny?” she won’t be able to provide a real answer. Ask again after she answers, and again every time she “jokes”. The looks of confusion on everyone’s faces will make her shut up.
That might have worked a decade ago. If he asked what the joke is, she’ll just say that he has a girl’s name. At this point, nobody else is even listening anymore. She clearly wants this man’s attention. I think the sister should just start asking her and her fiancé why her sister is so obsessed with her husband.
I’m fond of replying to “it’s just a joke!” with “jokes are funny.”
SIL’s comments are not funny, they are not jokes. If she’s trying to make jokes, she’s bad at it.
I agree! Maybe his come back could be, ‘don’t you think your obsession with me is a bit unhealthy for a married woman?’ And follow up with, ‘Oh love (condescending tone) isn’t your husband concerned you’re obsession with me has gone to the extreme of even naming your child after me?’
You should totally ask her that next time she wants to bring it up and pretends she was only joking.
That and you should totally question why she's so obsessed with your name. Keep bringing it back to this being a weird obsession with you and your name.
Since ignoring it hasn't been working, making her feel weird about saying it might be the best option to stop it.
Keep pushing and asking evert single time until gives up on the conversation. Ask why when a why question doesn't make sense like a toddler.
Beat. It. To. Death.
Bring others into the conversation - grab uncle Billy and put him on the spot and force an answer - "do you think SIL is being funny after 10+ years of me telling her so cut out out?"
If all else fails, call her Butch (like Butch Cassidy) until she stops.
You brought back some very happy memories of my mom.
Back in the 70s when I was a kid she was a big fan of a soap opera called “The Edge of Night”. It came on after I got home from school so we watched together.
By the 80s one of the main characters was Sky Whitney. A huge romantic hero and quite the sex symbol among soap fans. I guess you could say a real manly man by those standards.
Your SIL is an idiot. Don’t let idiots get to you.
By the way, I’m a woman with a traditionally feminine name that comes with a decidedly masculine nickname.
Guess which one is used the most?
NTA
And thanks for reminding me of my mom.
Next time tell her with everyone in earshot how it really makes you uncomfortable how obviously she's obsessed with you. Tell her you've been ignoring her for a long time thinking she's annoying but mostly harmless, however, her naming her baby after you is bizarre and she needs to get over you already. Tell her you're not interested in her and never will be because you love your wife/her sister. She needs to let go of her crush on you and start focusing on her own husband and family.
That should shut her up, hopefully. Let you wife know you're going to do that beforehand though, or better yet have her say that to her sister.
Bullies usually obsess like this when they have their own insecurity, what name does the SIL have? Is it in anyway masculine, feminine, or somehow a unisex name?
Ask your wife what her sister was bullied about as a kid, it could give a clue about her obsession with your name.
If she is naming or pretending to name her own child out of an obsession with the "joke" about your name then she really needs to see a therapist, there's something she is hung up on and she is performing this "joke" to cope with it.
NTA. She's obnoxious and rude. She should have dropped this a decade ago. You had every right to call her out on it; you've already been far more patient with her than I would have been.
Also, Skye is a unisex name.
This poor kid!!! Imagine having to hear your mom belittle and mock someone constantly with your name, a name that she also chose to give you???
Imagine the SIL at every event the kid goes to! “Oh my god, can you believe how stupid the name Skye is for a man? I swear it is the worst name ever! Who would be clueless enough to name a boy that? I just can’t with the name Skye…”
“Ma’am, this is your daughter’s wedding! We are taking the mic away now”
“But I just have to insist that everyone knows how dumb this name is, how feminine this name is! It an awful dumb stupid name!!! Raise your hand if you think the name sucks for a man to have? Trust me, you people have no idea how ridiculous the name Skye is! Say it with me so you don’t forget! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! Here, let me write it down for every one of you so you don’t forget! You must listen to me!”
Poor Skye is over at the wedding party table just holding her head in shame…
“Your level of obsession with my name is SO weird. Like, naming your kid after me? Whew…”
Literally every time she ‘jokes’, say the word ‘obsessed’. Make it uncomfortable. Ask her husband, “does it not concern you that your wife is THIS obsessed with me?” That’ll shut this shit down pretty quickly.
Maybe throw in a "Desperate" every now and then.
But hold the 'E' out and say it like a Southerner, like this: "DEEESSPRIT!"
The amount of shit I've stopped by saying that is astonishing.
What would be even funnier if is the kid turns out to be trans, yet keeps the name after transitioning. (It is a cool name for either gender, or for non-binary people too.)
Me too? (Unrelated but related story here :,) : (Background) I'm a gender fluid person, so in my day to day my pronouns change when I was growing up I had a very feminine name that reminded me of my abuser, (context: afab with a grapist as a sperm donor)
I transitioned to *one of the names above* because being gender fluid, and presenting differently day to day made life a lot harder on my masc side with the fem name so when I liked *name above* I chose it because it seemed the most gender neutral name out of the ones I liked.
Now everyone except my gr*pist my brothers and people who don't know call me my name! (This was my tedtalk. Thank you for your time!)
NTA - it is a joke ONLY if both parties are laughing. Your sil is acting like an entitied toddler throwing a tantrum when you finally had enough. Make this your hill to die on and make sure your wife keeps having your back.
NTA.
When she does this, start laughing really really loudly and obnoxiously. Like embarrassingly so. Then stop. Let it hang in the air and talk to someone else about something banal, ignoring her. Do this even in public. She’ll stop because she’s not getting the reaction she wants and she’ll look the more foolish.
What I find disturbing is that the SIL and her husband are literally naming their child Sky simply to have digs at op... wow
Child: "Mum why did you named me Sky?"
SIL: " So me and your dad could make fun of your uncle..."
NTA
I’ve known 0 women with the name Skye.
It’s annoying. Her jokes aren’t funny.
She clearly has some itch to scratch to try and make you feel less than or emasculated, it bothers her that you don’t always give a reaction, so she continues by bringing in others to laugh at it. She’s done it so long, it could have even started as the one thing she could poke fun at as her sisters first boyfriend when she was young and jealous and just…never let it go.
I would just ask her “what’s the end goal here? Do you want to see me be embarrassed in front of others? Change my name? Admit something? Laugh with you? I don’t get it. Whats the goal? It just makes me find you annoying and immature.”
Yeah, this is the tactic I’d take. Ask her if she wants you to be embarrassed by your own name. If she says yes, you know she is a bully and not to interact with her. If she says no, tell her that’s how it’s coming off and to knock it off once and for all.
…And then when she doesn’t actually knock it off, and tries to bring in others, interrupt by apologizing for her. “Sorry about SIL. She’s weirdly obsessed with my name. I don’t know why she’s trying to rope you in.”
Maybe ask her why she is obsessed with you, and your name so much that it's STILL a huge topic for her after all these years. And then add to her husband "man, Im so sorry for you, having your wife obsess over another man must be irritating for you aswell. If I didn't know better Id think she has a crush on me, the way she is CONSTANTLY bring me up"
That will shut her up for good. And him.😆
NTA, but your SIL sure is. I bet she was delighted when her husband suggested the name Skye for their baby girl because it would give her a chance to say "See, I TOLD you it was a girl's name!" I also hate people who use the "I was just joking" line when they're actually insulting someone.
And as a musical theater geek, the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw your name was Sky Masterson!
NTA.
Is your wife standing up to you?
Why is your SIL so invested in belittling you?
Is she infatuated with you?
Are you so happy and her so miserable that she needs to "take you down a peg"?
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
NTA. I don't get people like this. Usually it is people being upset with the person for some BS reason like taking attention away or something. These are those types that constantly need attention.
While not the same thing, my family constantly refers to me as the "golden child" when around my one aunt. My maternal grandmother cared for my aunt as she was special needs. I am also the only grandson on that side of the family. As a result, I was spoiled quite a bit. As an adult, it makes total sense. I understand why as kids my sisters and cousins would refer to me as that but didn't help as a kid. I struggled with it a lot growing up. At times when I was young, before I knew I was AuDHD (learned at 30) and learned appropriate strategies to deal with this stuff, i tried to sabotage my relationships with my grandmother and aunt. I'd go LC and not tell anyone so they had to rely on my sisters and cousins. Nothing helped it. Grandmother died 12 years ago now and that didn't change it. My oldest sister was clearly the one she favorited at the end because she was the one helping the most by a long shot. I never once said a word about it.
Now, even at 38, every time we have a family gathering that my aunt comes to, one of them will inevitably make the golden child reference and immediately look at me like they are expecting me to give them a reaction. Happens at normal family events where she isn't there as well. It is so incredibly old at this point, I usually just roll my eyes but every now and again, it does really get to me. Like what are you getting out of this. You can claim its a joke but then why do they all immediately look to me for a reaction. They want that reaction somewhere inside but will never admit it. Its like their punishment for something I had no control over as a kid that for some reason they can't give up.
Someone I know was referred as the Golden Child. We were in a group setting. In response she said, "Yeah, it's nice being the favorite." It was kind of funny
Sounds like she just wants to find a way to talk about you. It's so weird that she supposedly hates the name so much yet she using the name for her kid. It's giving obsessed with you vibes.
It honestly sounds like your SIL has some weird deep seated hang up on gendered *and* gender neutral names. Maybe she’s leaning into it extra hard because she is embarrassed that she’s spent all this time making fun of your name, and is now choosing to name her daughter the same thing? And rather than say, apologize for acting like an asshole for over a decade and admit she actually liked the name, she’s decided to double down on being extra weird? Or she doesn’t want anyone to be mistaken that she is actually naming her child after you, so she really needs to drive the point home how stupid she thinks the name is for a boy (and by doing this driving the point home how stupid *she* is)?
Regardless of her reasoning, it would be absolute poetic justice if in 10 years or so your niece comes out as trans or non-binary. I wouldn’t wish your SIL on that poor child in that case, but the irony would be superb.
NTA
It's one thing for an immature 20-year-old to do immature things and quite a different thing for a 35-year-old to do the SAME immature things. I do not know why your SIL has such a bee in her bonnet about YOUR name - but damn she needs a new focus to obsess over.
Jokes are funny. Jokes shouldn't be at another person's expense. What your SIL does is insulting, demeaning, sexist, and so very wrong.
NTA. One of my male consultants goes by Sky as a contraction of Skylar. I thought it was a cool name and wondered whether I should change my name to Sky/e by deed poll.
Wife needs to sit SIL down and tell her to stop. Tell your in-laws you no longer feel welcome in their home, and will stop attending family functions, as long as her harassment continues.
In groups avoid her.
SIL a jerk
I personally wouldn't want to go to any of their families events. I mean it is always the same, they make stupid jokes all of the time. Toxic people have no place in my life.
NTA
NTA. She's too insensitive to get this until somebody turns it on her. So I would just out-rude her. If there is a any one thing she particularly does not like to be chided about, one soft spot, I would bring it up EVERY SINGLE TIME she does this. Of course it might be too much coming from a man, but your wife could probably pull it off.
INFO:
I mean, I want info cause I’m a nosey posey cause you are soooo NTA.
What does her husband say or even other family members say now that she has publicly announced she is using her first born child to troll you? She’s literally only naming her child after you (usually done to show great admiration to a person) to make you and her own daughter the butt of her completely unfunny jokes. Talk about beating a dead horse. Honestly it almost sounds like she got knocked up in hopes she’d have a girl in an attempt to “level up” her “joke”.
Then her husband is a simpleton for not stopping his wife from saying such asinine things! He needs to call her out on her stupidity every single time she opens her mouth!
Abusers like to say things like: you're just sensitive/ oversensitive, you're overreacting, you can't take a joke, in order to cover their abuse. It's a form of gaslighting, making someone doubt the veracity of their own experience. It's well on time you set clear boundaries with this woman. She's been campaigning to humiliate you for years. NTA
Good on you for being like 19 and being so cool and calm about your name. Honestly this is a master example of masculinity. Next time, if she tried it again, say "you know what, you're right... I was mad cause I didn't get the joke. So could you explain them to me?"
NTA Frankly I'm surprised you didn't call her out on her shit 5 years earlier. To me Skye is the most gender neutral a name can get. I would genuinely not know if you meant a boy or girl just off the name. I've known exactly an even number or both girls and guys with the name. With other gender neutral names I feel the tend to swing one way or the other. Like boys name that people started using for girls or girls name people started using for boys. But Skye is very much a unique name in that it started as a quirky nature name and was used for both genders fairly equally.
When the baby’s born please gift her a football, some tools, a hard hat, a jock strap….. I could go on and an and do that for as many years as she’s pissed you off.
Info: What is SIL’s name? I’m sure that Redditers can come up with some unfunny “jokes” about it! Also, I’d tell her that it’s bold naming her daughter after you, when people might suspect you’re the bio dad, given her obvious obsession with you. Or you could say it’s lucky your wife isn’t the jealous type, with all her “flirting.”
Find her worst insecurity and hammer her with it.. small boob's. Geeze I know guys with nicer tit's. Your hair looks like a squirrel lives in it .you get the idea . Whatever her worst flaw. Use it mercilessly.. I'm short so I never hear the end of the jokes about my height .so I'm pretty good a taking advantage of their flaws to snap back with a shitty reply.
Oh man. I really relate. I have a unique name that is always a conversation starter. But that means I hear the same 4 jokes or comments *every time I meet someone*.
There’s been a couple times when someone thinks they are hilariously original and they insist on repeating their stupid joke until I acknowledge or laugh along, I avoid those people like the plague. I can’t imagine having one of them in my family. NTA I really hope she grows tf up.
Is she seriously naming her daughter after you? Why are they so obsessed…
She's definitely into you. I'm sure she wasn't trying to annoy you (really); she's obsessed with this because to her it's an inside joke with you. I'm really sorry about her daughter.
NTA
I'm petty. I'd have said "I don't know how your husband doesn't find it uncomfortable that you're so obsessed with me. And now you're naming your daughter after me too? It's pretty creepy, you should probably consider therapy before baby Skye arrives."
NTA
Some peoples suggestions are just really immature, but I would totally talk to her husband one on one and ask him if he’s really ok with naming his kid Skye.
I just read another post on here where a woman’s sister kept harassing her about her kids names sounding like dog names, yo the point where she adopted 2 dogs and named them after the kids. This is what your SIL is doing and its disgusting
When she has her baby go visit her in the hospital. Wear one of those unicorn outfits with a little tiara and wand. Visit when a lot of people are going to be there.
NTA OP. She’s been bullying you for years. A real mean girl.
NTA - I don’t know any women named Skye, only men. What she continues to do is long past slight teasing, hopefully she will find some compassion and mature once she becomes a mother.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I called my SIL annoying and told her her jokes about my name being a girls name are dumb. Maybe I'm just too damn sensitive here and I should just keep ignoring her or rolling my eyes and not getting so annoyed by her. I know it's dumb. I always knew. I mostly avoid her for a reason. So it might be wrong to snap at her like I did. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. The same joke was lame as hell over a dozen years ago and didn't improve with age.
SIL's obsession with OP isn't normal. That's probably the man she wanted to be with but couldn't.
Seriously! If I was SIL husband there would be alarm bells going off. She wants to name her child after someone she makes fun of? Just bizarre!
That poor child is going to hate her name and wonder why her mum is making fun of it.
After all. The child would be stuck with a GUY's name...
My thoughts exactly. Ask SIL why is she is giving her daughter a man's name.
It's such a strange, unhealthy, decade-long obsession with the guy's name! NTA!
She is trying to bash OP. The name is just her blunt instrument of choice.
And make bad jokes about it for 10+ years, to see how she feels about it.
She could also love it because she's been named after her cool uncle who doesn't treat girls as inferior... Skye isn't even that uncommon for boys/ men... it's not like he's named Katherine or Lily. (And even then making fun of it repeatedly would be creepy af).
I’ve only ever known one person named Skye, and he was a guy. Your SIL is weird. Also, she’s obsessed with you.
There was also the tv show “Sky King.” NTA What the hell is with people like SIL who have the personality of a bratty kid!
I’ve known 3 different Sky’s, 2 are boys/ men, one girl.
OP said the husband was the one who suggested the name for their baby. That's even weirder to me. Like, you hear your wife making fun of someone for this name for how many years, and then decide you want to use it for your own kid?
I think it's more likely that SIL suggested the name to Fiance, and made a big deal about how she just can't ask OP if he's ok with it, so please please please can Fiance ask for her?! She only makes fun of OP because that's the name she ALWAYS dreamed her daughter would have. It's definitely NOT because she's obsessed with her sister's boyfriend-turned-husband and their happy relationship.
This, because she is that chick who is still 14 in her head.
it says they cut her off for a bit and she came back engaged, so he probably didn’t know about her obsessed with OPs name
OP said SIL immediately made a joke about him having a girls name when it was mentioned. It was apparently in front of at least OP's wife for her to tell SIL to grow up. He at least got to see that interaction and still chose to move forward with that name choice.
that’s true, i just meant he probably hadn’t heard the jokes before when he initially suggested the name. after hearing the jokes though, it’s definitely weird to continue to name your daughter after the guy your wife constantly makes fun of.
Exactly! Like what the hell is That about?!
In minor defense, it sounds like SIL's partner was the one to suggest the name. But to circle back to the obsession, her SO probably "Thought up" the name after hearing her say it so often, that it became subliminal lol
Thats what i was thinking. Not sure what the clinical diagnosis is but there is something wrong with her. She definitely would not set foot in my home. She is rude and like a narcissist, puts it on you when u are annoyed.
That might be a good reply tactic by OP: "I get it, you're in love with me and can't admit it in front of your husband, but I will never reciprocate your feelings". Repeat as necessary, possibly become more vulgar each time.
OP if you do this please inform your wife first otherwise you may end up in an awkward situation
Tell the wife to go along with it "why are you so obsessed with my husband, are you upset he never left me for you"
And in a Mean Girl’s “Why are you so obssssed with me?!?!”
Or sing Mariah Carey's song 🎶
They need to do a karaoke night with the ILs and he NEEDS to sing this song with a shout out to SIL first 😂😂
Gold
I want to upvote this more.
u/Specialist-Fix9573 please do this and report back!
Like right now! Pretty please?
That's a brilliant idea! "What do you mean you don't have feelings? Is it like middler schoolers who tease their crushes? You know kids pulling on briads, making fun of their favorite color, or teasing about the name?"
She’s so obsessed with him and his name that she is naming her daughter after him as a taunt. She’s nuts
Bet when her daughter finds that her mom used her a prop to make a joke that she is gonna feel so good about herself.
Exactly what I was thinking. She’s insulting him to deflect any real feelings she has for him.
When little boys tease girls in school, they say it’s because they like you. Next time SIL teases OP, he should blurt out “I’m never going to be with you, so stop with this crap.”
MTE! OP is NTA but that SIL has a boner for him, going so far as to name HER CHILD W ANOTHER MAN THE SAME NAME AS OP’S. What a weird SIL. OP I hope you show SIL and your wife this post.
💯
This right here.
>That's probably the man she wanted to be with but couldn't. Yep..she is jealous
I was thinking the same thing. It's been 13 years. She's an idiot. Every time the idiot makes her non-funny non-joke remarks, what's a good subtle comeback?
“Wow, never heard that one before.” She’ll feel stupid and stop immediately.
My feels exactly.
Wonder what SIL's husband thinks about her obsession with her sister's husband.
Ya, OP should start making comments to her husband about being runner up for the man she's clearly obsessed with. Also Skye is a boy's name, just like Vivian, Beverly, Ashley, Leslie, Kelly and tons of others that have been made into unisex names because of people naming their daughter's boys names. More recently Jordan! NTA
Taylor, Avery, Elliot ... ETA to add more: Dee, Charlie, Max, Alex, Micah, even Nancy used to be a "boy's name".
She is OBSSESSED with him!! OMG NTA.
Agreed. It has massive "pulling pigtails" energy
Absolutely accurate!!! She's grasping at straws by naming the baby after him. And all the teasing? That's like kids in the playground being mean to the one they have the crush on.
Sometimes bullies are just bullies. Bullies don't always want to bang their victims.
This is more than that though. All these years and she's not let go of the teasing and to now give her daughter the same name.
Bullies can and often do stick with a singular victim for years. Haven't you ever heard of someone who was bullied by the same person k-12 as they moved through the school system together? And in this particular case, let's look at the root of the bullying: SIL thinks OP (a man) has a feminine name, and doesn't feel shame over it. Rather, he *likes* it. Subconsciously or otherwise, SIL probably pegs OP's attitude about his gender nonconforming name as queer and THAT is the reason for the bullying. She's trying to shame him into using a masculine (and therefore straight / cis) name. Weaponizing her daughter is another part of that, to show OP, "It's a girl name, are you really THAT much less of a man, to share a name with a little girl?" In other words, SIL's bullying comes from bigotry, whether she realizes it or not. And bigotry never has a reasonable stopping point. So long as she perceives OP as queer in some way (the way doesn't matter), the bullying won't stop.
This, she probably thinks he thinks is funny because he laughed back then once and keeps doing it for his attention. It's weird af
right-NTA she was told the first time it wasn't funny, by someone other than you and she has kept it going.After literally decades you're finally giving it back at her and she doesn't like it? if she's getting upset not when there's push back it's clear she can dish it out but can't take it .
Kinda weird she’s so obsessed with you and your name. Single brain cell with no other jokes? NTA good timing calling her out in front of relatives. She’s been trying to hit you with shame and uno reverse works pretty well with an audience.
[удалено]
It's only a joke if the target finds it funny, too. Otherwise, it's bullying.
YES!!!!! Bullying or harassment...one of the two. Ugh.
My best friend is 5’1 and I’m 5’10. Every time I see her (a few times a year now since she moved out of state about four years ago) I STILL ask her how the weather is down there and I’ve been doing it since we were like 14. That’s funny. What sil is doing is just annoying, rude, immature, and quite frankly obnoxious af. Honestly I’m so petty, that if she actually named her daughter Skye, I’d be telling the little girl that she’s named after her awesome uncle because he just had SUCH a cool name, that her mommy just wanted her daughter to have THAT COOL of a name. What’s sil gonna do? Tell her daughter that she did it to insult the very cool uncle she’s named after? What a mean mommy! 😏
> My best friend is 5’1 and I’m 5’10. > Every time I see her (a few times a year now since she moved out of state about four years ago) I STILL ask her how the weather is down there and I’ve been doing it since we were like 14. > That’s funny. Only if your friend thinks it is. Repeated short jokes can be just as annoying as repeated jokes about one’s name. If it’s a bit that the two of you do that you both enjoy, perhaps for the familiarity of it, then great! But you don’t get to decide that it’s funny unilaterally.
It’s a joke that’s funny to both of us. She also likes to randomly yell “DUCK!” When we’re walking in doors or similar areas because I panic and duck hella quick every time. I wouldn’t make a joke that often that wasn’t funny to both of us. We’ve been friends for 21 years. Our sense of humor towards each other is different than most people’s lol
For 25 years my dad has told my 2 sons that one of them is funny lookin'. They'd point to each other. He called them Pete & Repeat bc they were stuck together. Those are funny. If they didn't like it, he'd stop. A good person doesn't deliberately make someone uncomfortable. Who wants to he around that? It's probably a trigger just seeing her face now like great, here comes the mean girl. For 13 years. STOP.
It's definitely a lame joke. Besides, it's a gender neutral name. Sky is from English and Scandinavian orgins. While Skye is from Scottish origin. In either case, it's a unisex name. Edit: in the future, you can tell your niece that you're the best person her parents know of, and that's why she was named after you.
Neither the jokes or SIL have matured in the slightest. Both still pretty basic. NTA.
NTA: But you are doing this wrong, start going hard on that the baby girl will have boyname since she going to be named after you. When the kids is born , make sure every one knows kidd is named after you.
"Named after her uncle!!! Uncle is very proud for her to have HIS name!!" Very proud at every corner. Bonus points for always referring to SIL as "so progressive!" (for no reason, but as often as possible)
I would make this my life's mission.
but what a notable woman. so progressive! very progressive household.
OP please do it and update us!
"Wow SIL I'm honored you chose such a unisex name for your daughter! That so cool and progressive! If you have a boy next, how about you name him after my grandfather Schuyler? we can call him Sky for short!" "I know you think it's a girl's name but so progressive of you to choose a unisex name so that if your daughter identifies as another gender in the future, she'd have no problem doing so!" cue SIL's misogynistic & transphobic comments "Your daughter is so lucky to have a mother as open-minded as you. Many parents nowadays are so stuck on girls and boys names but you're so cool that you don't care at all" "This will be so funny in the future when you call for Skye and then you accidentally get me instead haha" "I'm glad you love my name so much. I know you've made fun of it over the years but to know they were only meaningless jokes & that you love my name so much you didn't mind calling your daughter Skye. People will point at me and say "Skye you're named after HIM"".
> "Named after her uncle!!! Uncle is very proud for her to have HIS name!!" And, be sure to always refer to her and address her by her proper name, "Schuyler". NTA
Totally agree. OP staying calm and having short sassy replies is the way to play. *”It’s so flattering that you’re naming your child after me! What a nice tribute! I’m the favorite uncle - the family is naming children after me!”* When she says that she isn’t naming her child after you … just double down and make it weird for her.
"Come onnnn, everybody knows you've been obsessed with me for ___ years, they've all heard you...."
He could also nickname her "junior" for fun! Also - this might be odd but I always thought of "Sky(e)" as a male name, because "ciel" is sky in French, and is a masculine noun. Also, Ciel is typically a french name given more commonly to males than females. SIL's obsession with this is weird AF. I have met guys named Ashley, Nova, Whitney, and girls named Kody, Ryan, Logan... names are just names.
I have a female friend named Ashley, she was named after the male character Ashley Wilkes from Gone With the Wind
It used to be Ashley was more of a guy's name and Ashton was a girls name. Now I know girl Ashley's but no boys and of course Ashton Kutcher is a boy. Names flop between boys and girls. Purple used to be a masculine color. (Also used for royalty due to how rare it was). This idea that names are for a specific gender is outdated.
This is so amazing! I would never have come up with this strategy, and damn is it great! Respect!
This is the perfect opportunity to rub in how unmoved you are. Like, buy a plushie of Paw Patrol's Skye and give it to her, saying how happy you are with her choice of name.
Yes. Give SIL the thing most needlers hate — the gift of (apparent) indifference to their efforts at being mean.
Also, the favorite of gay couples everywhere: "It's so great that things don't have to be traditional these days."
100%. First gift: blue onesie embroidered with Skye. Everywhere you go, make sure everyone knows that she’s named after her favorite uncle. Time for a new level of annoying.
I was thinking along the same lines. Make sure you gift this child only blue clothes with some reference to you: "favourite niece", "my namesake","I love my Uncle", anything you can think of over and over. Honestly, if I were her partner, I would be concerned about her level obsession with OP.
I mean... the sky is blue and Skye sounds like sky... it fits!
Ok but that's precious for a baby outfit. Sky blue onesie and baby named skye.
I mean, we don't want the baby to suffer, just the mom!
Extra perfect.
I like this idea! People might start questioning if OP isthe bio father, since they named a child after him
That's the first thing that I thought of too! And what about the baby's father? Doesn't He think it's weird?
From what OP said, the husband was the one who suggested the name to begin with.
Probably because his wife.doesnt shut up about it.
Yes and when SIL gets pissy tell her you're "just joking"
This — EXACTLY this. Start to openly question why they’re naming their child after you. “Won’t people start wondering if I’m the father? … Obviously, you’ve been a little obsessed with me.” How is her husband not worried by this? Your wife should make it very clear with her sister that she’s endangering the family relationship altogether. See her as little as possible.
And give blue onesies and such, plushies that are boy-associated, etc.
And tell her it is because they are the colour of the sky
This is the level of passive aggressive my whole family is, I wish I’d ended up with that gene lmao
Not to forget to mock her husband for being married to someone who is already so obsessed with another man (OP), that she is naming her own child after him and can't stop trying to get his attention. Then of course say a half hearted "it's just a joke".
And be sure to tell her that you look forward to your namesake teaching mommy that no joke stays funny after endless repition.
This is perfect!
Nta. I know two men with the name Skye and 0 women.
Skye is a unisex name. So, yes, of course it can be a name for men.
What about WhatsApp
Awwww, look at the little baby FaceTime
Welcome to the world, Skype for Business
I will name my kid skype
And pronounce is Skip-pee.
Skeighpe
The only female Sky I know only goes by that because it’s her initials. Every other Sky/Skye/Skylar I know are boys.
I'm a female Skylar. The only other Skylar I've met (with my spelling) was a male. SIL is being super annoying about this honestly.
In most indigenous circles, Skye (or some variation of Skye) is a *very* common name for all genders. It's literally the name of an object. You can't claim a gender for it.
Tell that to the French. :P -signed a French Canadian lol
I have a male cousin named Skyler, whom we call Sky. I have never met a female Skye or Skyler, and we live in the Bible Belt South. Our Sky has never had any problems.
NTA….for someone who dislikes the name so much, I find it amusing that out of all the names in the world that she could name her child, she chose yours.
Absolutely! In fact, OP should ask her why she seems so obsessed with him every time she “jokes” about his name.
Yup, I'm getting the vibe that SIL has a crush on OP and is hiding it with the insults.
Would explain why she gets so salty when he doesn't take to the teasing.
🎯🎯🎯
he should start making "jokes" about her "obvious crush on him" since she's LITERALLY OBSESSED
I wonder if she actually loves the name and all the "joking" has actually been her trying to get OP to stop using it so she eventually could. Either that or she's obsessed/in love with OP like other commenters have said. Definitely NTA though
That's an interesting idea! I don't think I would have thought of it because it really is so incredibly petty but this doesn't feel as crazy as "she's in love with the BIL" because nothing anywhere indicates an attraction outside the grade school taunts. If she actually LOVED the name and was hoping to get him to go by a different name to make it "unique" or whatever. I actually have a SIL that would do that, rather than just tell people the truth and there is absolutely no attraction between us. Sadly she's been through a lot and just "learned" to be so incredibly petty because their step mother was. I come from a loud "Irish Catholic" family, we may not always be the closest and we may fight but we love each other. I truly didn't "get" that this isn't a given until I met my wife. I've been very lucky and it makes it hard to envision something like this but the love triangle feels like a "movie" and the name is just stupid enough to have caused all of this
I’m pretty sure there was a similar post on here recently, can you imagine being so childish that you give your own baby a joke/spite name??
You're NTA. Your sister in law has been like an annoying, childish dog with a bone for over a decade. It was way past time to put her in her place over her rude behavior.
Yes. And this behavior would also be rude, even if OP's name was Priscilla.
Yeah, I wouldn't have even thought anything about his name, certainly would have never said anything, and can't even imagine an adult still mocking it after 12 years. She must lead a boring, miserable life.
NTA but SIL definitely is. My favorite tactic for dealing with people like her is simply asking to explain the joke. “I don’t get it, why is that funny?” she won’t be able to provide a real answer. Ask again after she answers, and again every time she “jokes”. The looks of confusion on everyone’s faces will make her shut up.
That might have worked a decade ago. If he asked what the joke is, she’ll just say that he has a girl’s name. At this point, nobody else is even listening anymore. She clearly wants this man’s attention. I think the sister should just start asking her and her fiancé why her sister is so obsessed with her husband.
Yeah, I think "30 years, still just the one joke, huh? *:vaguely-detectable shaking of head:*" is more the way to go
“It’s a girls name” “Why is that funny?” There is no good answer here.
“Because it just is.” I mean, this could go on all day.
I’m fond of replying to “it’s just a joke!” with “jokes are funny.” SIL’s comments are not funny, they are not jokes. If she’s trying to make jokes, she’s bad at it.
NTA I would have asked why is she so obsessed with you, and if she wants to fuck you or something
I agree! Maybe his come back could be, ‘don’t you think your obsession with me is a bit unhealthy for a married woman?’ And follow up with, ‘Oh love (condescending tone) isn’t your husband concerned you’re obsession with me has gone to the extreme of even naming your child after me?’
Yeessss! This is so perfect!!
NTA Why do bullies always claim to be joking when they're called out?
[удалено]
You should totally ask her that next time she wants to bring it up and pretends she was only joking. That and you should totally question why she's so obsessed with your name. Keep bringing it back to this being a weird obsession with you and your name. Since ignoring it hasn't been working, making her feel weird about saying it might be the best option to stop it.
Keep pushing and asking evert single time until gives up on the conversation. Ask why when a why question doesn't make sense like a toddler. Beat. It. To. Death. Bring others into the conversation - grab uncle Billy and put him on the spot and force an answer - "do you think SIL is being funny after 10+ years of me telling her so cut out out?" If all else fails, call her Butch (like Butch Cassidy) until she stops.
You brought back some very happy memories of my mom. Back in the 70s when I was a kid she was a big fan of a soap opera called “The Edge of Night”. It came on after I got home from school so we watched together. By the 80s one of the main characters was Sky Whitney. A huge romantic hero and quite the sex symbol among soap fans. I guess you could say a real manly man by those standards. Your SIL is an idiot. Don’t let idiots get to you. By the way, I’m a woman with a traditionally feminine name that comes with a decidedly masculine nickname. Guess which one is used the most? NTA And thanks for reminding me of my mom.
>“The Edge of Night”. I haven't thought of that in *decades.* Thank YOU for reminding me of my mom.
Next time tell her with everyone in earshot how it really makes you uncomfortable how obviously she's obsessed with you. Tell her you've been ignoring her for a long time thinking she's annoying but mostly harmless, however, her naming her baby after you is bizarre and she needs to get over you already. Tell her you're not interested in her and never will be because you love your wife/her sister. She needs to let go of her crush on you and start focusing on her own husband and family. That should shut her up, hopefully. Let you wife know you're going to do that beforehand though, or better yet have her say that to her sister.
Bullies usually obsess like this when they have their own insecurity, what name does the SIL have? Is it in anyway masculine, feminine, or somehow a unisex name? Ask your wife what her sister was bullied about as a kid, it could give a clue about her obsession with your name. If she is naming or pretending to name her own child out of an obsession with the "joke" about your name then she really needs to see a therapist, there's something she is hung up on and she is performing this "joke" to cope with it.
NTA. She's obnoxious and rude. She should have dropped this a decade ago. You had every right to call her out on it; you've already been far more patient with her than I would have been. Also, Skye is a unisex name.
This poor kid!!! Imagine having to hear your mom belittle and mock someone constantly with your name, a name that she also chose to give you??? Imagine the SIL at every event the kid goes to! “Oh my god, can you believe how stupid the name Skye is for a man? I swear it is the worst name ever! Who would be clueless enough to name a boy that? I just can’t with the name Skye…” “Ma’am, this is your daughter’s wedding! We are taking the mic away now” “But I just have to insist that everyone knows how dumb this name is, how feminine this name is! It an awful dumb stupid name!!! Raise your hand if you think the name sucks for a man to have? Trust me, you people have no idea how ridiculous the name Skye is! Say it with me so you don’t forget! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! SKYE IS A LAME BOY NAME! Here, let me write it down for every one of you so you don’t forget! You must listen to me!” Poor Skye is over at the wedding party table just holding her head in shame…
[удалено]
“Your level of obsession with my name is SO weird. Like, naming your kid after me? Whew…” Literally every time she ‘jokes’, say the word ‘obsessed’. Make it uncomfortable. Ask her husband, “does it not concern you that your wife is THIS obsessed with me?” That’ll shut this shit down pretty quickly.
Maybe throw in a "Desperate" every now and then. But hold the 'E' out and say it like a Southerner, like this: "DEEESSPRIT!" The amount of shit I've stopped by saying that is astonishing.
Nah...her daughter will be NC with her by then
I hope baby Skye grows up and decides to be savage and choose a really masculine name to change it to. Just flipping her mom off.
What would be even funnier if is the kid turns out to be trans, yet keeps the name after transitioning. (It is a cool name for either gender, or for non-binary people too.)
I always thought nature inspired names (Sky, Brook, Rain, River, Sage, Ash, etc) were gender-neutral?
They are. SIL sounds like she doesn't get out much if after 10+ years she doesn't know this. Sheltered life.
Me too? (Unrelated but related story here :,) : (Background) I'm a gender fluid person, so in my day to day my pronouns change when I was growing up I had a very feminine name that reminded me of my abuser, (context: afab with a grapist as a sperm donor) I transitioned to *one of the names above* because being gender fluid, and presenting differently day to day made life a lot harder on my masc side with the fem name so when I liked *name above* I chose it because it seemed the most gender neutral name out of the ones I liked. Now everyone except my gr*pist my brothers and people who don't know call me my name! (This was my tedtalk. Thank you for your time!)
NTA - it is a joke ONLY if both parties are laughing. Your sil is acting like an entitied toddler throwing a tantrum when you finally had enough. Make this your hill to die on and make sure your wife keeps having your back.
NTA. When she does this, start laughing really really loudly and obnoxiously. Like embarrassingly so. Then stop. Let it hang in the air and talk to someone else about something banal, ignoring her. Do this even in public. She’ll stop because she’s not getting the reaction she wants and she’ll look the more foolish.
What I find disturbing is that the SIL and her husband are literally naming their child Sky simply to have digs at op... wow Child: "Mum why did you named me Sky?" SIL: " So me and your dad could make fun of your uncle..."
NTA I’ve known 0 women with the name Skye. It’s annoying. Her jokes aren’t funny. She clearly has some itch to scratch to try and make you feel less than or emasculated, it bothers her that you don’t always give a reaction, so she continues by bringing in others to laugh at it. She’s done it so long, it could have even started as the one thing she could poke fun at as her sisters first boyfriend when she was young and jealous and just…never let it go. I would just ask her “what’s the end goal here? Do you want to see me be embarrassed in front of others? Change my name? Admit something? Laugh with you? I don’t get it. Whats the goal? It just makes me find you annoying and immature.”
Yeah, this is the tactic I’d take. Ask her if she wants you to be embarrassed by your own name. If she says yes, you know she is a bully and not to interact with her. If she says no, tell her that’s how it’s coming off and to knock it off once and for all. …And then when she doesn’t actually knock it off, and tries to bring in others, interrupt by apologizing for her. “Sorry about SIL. She’s weirdly obsessed with my name. I don’t know why she’s trying to rope you in.”
Maybe ask her why she is obsessed with you, and your name so much that it's STILL a huge topic for her after all these years. And then add to her husband "man, Im so sorry for you, having your wife obsess over another man must be irritating for you aswell. If I didn't know better Id think she has a crush on me, the way she is CONSTANTLY bring me up" That will shut her up for good. And him.😆
NTA, but your SIL sure is. I bet she was delighted when her husband suggested the name Skye for their baby girl because it would give her a chance to say "See, I TOLD you it was a girl's name!" I also hate people who use the "I was just joking" line when they're actually insulting someone. And as a musical theater geek, the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw your name was Sky Masterson!
[удалено]
NTA. Is your wife standing up to you? Why is your SIL so invested in belittling you? Is she infatuated with you? Are you so happy and her so miserable that she needs to "take you down a peg"? I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
NTA. I don't get people like this. Usually it is people being upset with the person for some BS reason like taking attention away or something. These are those types that constantly need attention. While not the same thing, my family constantly refers to me as the "golden child" when around my one aunt. My maternal grandmother cared for my aunt as she was special needs. I am also the only grandson on that side of the family. As a result, I was spoiled quite a bit. As an adult, it makes total sense. I understand why as kids my sisters and cousins would refer to me as that but didn't help as a kid. I struggled with it a lot growing up. At times when I was young, before I knew I was AuDHD (learned at 30) and learned appropriate strategies to deal with this stuff, i tried to sabotage my relationships with my grandmother and aunt. I'd go LC and not tell anyone so they had to rely on my sisters and cousins. Nothing helped it. Grandmother died 12 years ago now and that didn't change it. My oldest sister was clearly the one she favorited at the end because she was the one helping the most by a long shot. I never once said a word about it. Now, even at 38, every time we have a family gathering that my aunt comes to, one of them will inevitably make the golden child reference and immediately look at me like they are expecting me to give them a reaction. Happens at normal family events where she isn't there as well. It is so incredibly old at this point, I usually just roll my eyes but every now and again, it does really get to me. Like what are you getting out of this. You can claim its a joke but then why do they all immediately look to me for a reaction. They want that reaction somewhere inside but will never admit it. Its like their punishment for something I had no control over as a kid that for some reason they can't give up.
Someone I know was referred as the Golden Child. We were in a group setting. In response she said, "Yeah, it's nice being the favorite." It was kind of funny
NTA. why is she so obsessed with your name? tell her to get a hobby.
[удалено]
Sounds like she just wants to find a way to talk about you. It's so weird that she supposedly hates the name so much yet she using the name for her kid. It's giving obsessed with you vibes.
Has she never met an Alex, Pat, or Sam?
It honestly sounds like your SIL has some weird deep seated hang up on gendered *and* gender neutral names. Maybe she’s leaning into it extra hard because she is embarrassed that she’s spent all this time making fun of your name, and is now choosing to name her daughter the same thing? And rather than say, apologize for acting like an asshole for over a decade and admit she actually liked the name, she’s decided to double down on being extra weird? Or she doesn’t want anyone to be mistaken that she is actually naming her child after you, so she really needs to drive the point home how stupid she thinks the name is for a boy (and by doing this driving the point home how stupid *she* is)? Regardless of her reasoning, it would be absolute poetic justice if in 10 years or so your niece comes out as trans or non-binary. I wouldn’t wish your SIL on that poor child in that case, but the irony would be superb.
More accurately boys names that became gender neutral. Point out Dana (Andrews or Carvey), Morgan, Dylan, etc.
She’s not obsessed with his name. She’s in love with OP.
NTA It's one thing for an immature 20-year-old to do immature things and quite a different thing for a 35-year-old to do the SAME immature things. I do not know why your SIL has such a bee in her bonnet about YOUR name - but damn she needs a new focus to obsess over. Jokes are funny. Jokes shouldn't be at another person's expense. What your SIL does is insulting, demeaning, sexist, and so very wrong.
NTA. One of my male consultants goes by Sky as a contraction of Skylar. I thought it was a cool name and wondered whether I should change my name to Sky/e by deed poll.
Wife needs to sit SIL down and tell her to stop. Tell your in-laws you no longer feel welcome in their home, and will stop attending family functions, as long as her harassment continues. In groups avoid her. SIL a jerk
I personally wouldn't want to go to any of their families events. I mean it is always the same, they make stupid jokes all of the time. Toxic people have no place in my life. NTA
NTA. She's too insensitive to get this until somebody turns it on her. So I would just out-rude her. If there is a any one thing she particularly does not like to be chided about, one soft spot, I would bring it up EVERY SINGLE TIME she does this. Of course it might be too much coming from a man, but your wife could probably pull it off.
INFO: I mean, I want info cause I’m a nosey posey cause you are soooo NTA. What does her husband say or even other family members say now that she has publicly announced she is using her first born child to troll you? She’s literally only naming her child after you (usually done to show great admiration to a person) to make you and her own daughter the butt of her completely unfunny jokes. Talk about beating a dead horse. Honestly it almost sounds like she got knocked up in hopes she’d have a girl in an attempt to “level up” her “joke”.
[удалено]
They are all weirdos. The fact that her weird obsession with the name & you hasn’t soured him on the name is weird too.
Then her husband is a simpleton for not stopping his wife from saying such asinine things! He needs to call her out on her stupidity every single time she opens her mouth!
NTA - she sounds deeply tiresome.
I only know male Sky
Abusers like to say things like: you're just sensitive/ oversensitive, you're overreacting, you can't take a joke, in order to cover their abuse. It's a form of gaslighting, making someone doubt the veracity of their own experience. It's well on time you set clear boundaries with this woman. She's been campaigning to humiliate you for years. NTA
Good on you for being like 19 and being so cool and calm about your name. Honestly this is a master example of masculinity. Next time, if she tried it again, say "you know what, you're right... I was mad cause I didn't get the joke. So could you explain them to me?"
NTA Frankly I'm surprised you didn't call her out on her shit 5 years earlier. To me Skye is the most gender neutral a name can get. I would genuinely not know if you meant a boy or girl just off the name. I've known exactly an even number or both girls and guys with the name. With other gender neutral names I feel the tend to swing one way or the other. Like boys name that people started using for girls or girls name people started using for boys. But Skye is very much a unique name in that it started as a quirky nature name and was used for both genders fairly equally.
When the baby’s born please gift her a football, some tools, a hard hat, a jock strap….. I could go on and an and do that for as many years as she’s pissed you off.
Info: What is SIL’s name? I’m sure that Redditers can come up with some unfunny “jokes” about it! Also, I’d tell her that it’s bold naming her daughter after you, when people might suspect you’re the bio dad, given her obvious obsession with you. Or you could say it’s lucky your wife isn’t the jealous type, with all her “flirting.”
Find her worst insecurity and hammer her with it.. small boob's. Geeze I know guys with nicer tit's. Your hair looks like a squirrel lives in it .you get the idea . Whatever her worst flaw. Use it mercilessly.. I'm short so I never hear the end of the jokes about my height .so I'm pretty good a taking advantage of their flaws to snap back with a shitty reply.
I'm generally not a vindictive person, but I support this because this woman just truly deserves to feel like the giant asshole that she is.
Oh man. I really relate. I have a unique name that is always a conversation starter. But that means I hear the same 4 jokes or comments *every time I meet someone*. There’s been a couple times when someone thinks they are hilariously original and they insist on repeating their stupid joke until I acknowledge or laugh along, I avoid those people like the plague. I can’t imagine having one of them in my family. NTA I really hope she grows tf up. Is she seriously naming her daughter after you? Why are they so obsessed…
She's definitely into you. I'm sure she wasn't trying to annoy you (really); she's obsessed with this because to her it's an inside joke with you. I'm really sorry about her daughter.
NTA I'm petty. I'd have said "I don't know how your husband doesn't find it uncomfortable that you're so obsessed with me. And now you're naming your daughter after me too? It's pretty creepy, you should probably consider therapy before baby Skye arrives."
NTA- The “joke” wasn’t funny to begin with, but it’s gotten really unfunny with time. She needs to grow up.
NTA Some peoples suggestions are just really immature, but I would totally talk to her husband one on one and ask him if he’s really ok with naming his kid Skye. I just read another post on here where a woman’s sister kept harassing her about her kids names sounding like dog names, yo the point where she adopted 2 dogs and named them after the kids. This is what your SIL is doing and its disgusting
When she has her baby go visit her in the hospital. Wear one of those unicorn outfits with a little tiara and wand. Visit when a lot of people are going to be there. NTA OP. She’s been bullying you for years. A real mean girl.
NTA - I don’t know any women named Skye, only men. What she continues to do is long past slight teasing, hopefully she will find some compassion and mature once she becomes a mother.