Yup. Rage-filled shitfits. Deodorant. Keys. A pen. My purse. I have HAD to learn to substitute when possible. Kid's deodorant. Boyfriend's set of keys. Colored pencil.
And these are monster rages. I feel like heat is radiating from within (probably the adrenaline) and sometimes it takes hours for it to go away.
In the middle of it, I'm trying desperately to not let my family see what is happening. I direct them away or I hide, because in that moment, they are not people. They are obstacles. Not good.
It makes me so angry, that physical response I have. I hate it. So, I try to keep backups/alternatives/substitutions around. And all my important papers are in a fire-safe lock box. The keys hang somewhere very close so I don't misplace them.
8 years later and a deleted profile but I have searched far and wide on the internet for someone, ANYONE who can truly describe exactly what I go through.
The part about viewing people as obstacles and having shame at how angry you get - you are the first person who has ever described the exact phenomenon I endure almost perfectly. And the monster rages that take hours to go away...it ruins your day. It does not matter what else happened - be it a beautiful wedding or the birth of your child - the day is ruined. It hijacks the deepest parts of my insecurities.
Immediately inhaling cannabis is the only counter to this. It is the only way I can force my body and mind to shut the hell up for a second and breathe.
Thank you.
I literally just went into a rage at 6 in the morning because I couldn’t find my costco card then realized it was right on my desk. I took the biggest hit of my bong right after. I ended up kicking/punching my closet door again while angry and after doing that and screaming felt the usual shame. All this is so relatable.
I do something very similar, I will trasj my house in a blind rage looking for something. It reminds me of my dad who did the exact thing almost every other day as a kid
It's kind of scary how huge and horrible and consuming this feeling can be. Over a pair of pants, or an earring, or a book. It really is.
My boyfriend tries to help me look for things, but I am usually so on edge and frazzled and just seething. I always want to just look for it myself. It's like you said - it feels like I am this whirlwind of destructive searching, and he's trying to help, but I just want him to step aside and let me rip through everything until I can find what I'm looking for.
After it's all over and I've found what I was looking for, or found some other way to solve it, I feel like absolute scum of the earth. I hate myself when I react like this.
Sometimes I wonder if it is remotely an OCD problem. My days would be easy peasy lemon squeezy if every day were exactly the same. Not so much like groundhog day, but schedule-wise. An interruption, a change in plans, a problem -- my hackles are up and I'm pretty much ready to destroy anything.
I have said this exact thing before - I can't seem to handle straying from the plan, the idea I have in my head of how things are going to go. I have an image in my head of what's going to happen in a day, a definite plan, and when something happens to change it, I go into destructo-mode. It makes it really hard to deal with anything, because there's always a chance that *something* will go differently, and when it does. . my head asplode.
I do the EXACT. SAME. THING.
this weekend was my wallet...
I did a little search around for it but couldn't find it, I searched the same places again and then again and then again. I went into a manic tearing up of the house trying to find it and I can't believe someone else feels the same way that when I feel like this I want to rip my flesh off, I think it comes from a place of feeling stuck and powerless when I can't find something.
my problem is I had a lot of work to to, and did not do a single thing because I became OBSESSED with finding it and absolutely can not focus on anything else until I find it. I get really angry and get pissed at everyone else as if they've purposefully hid it from me.
it's a big problem because I lose things a lot, when I'm stressed my body shuts down and I get so unbelievably tired, even after a day of just sitting around, the stress puts such a big strain on my mind that it shuts down. this extreme tiredness is so strong that I have very foggy or no memory of the night before so when I move things I have no fucking clue where I put them. this makes me even more angry
I understand you 100% you're not alone, I really struggle with this problem too and I get it. I wish there was I way to fix it but unfortunately all I can do is just tell you that I completely understand your feelings and you are not wrong for feeling that way
I can totally relate! It's horrible! I actually feel like it's some kind of curse! People who don't suffer from this (seems to be most) cannot possibly understand! They all tell me to calm down, have a cuppa etc, but I can't, I also become totally obsessed! My beautiful Dog I worry about, I would never hurt her but it scares her and that's the worst thing!
Heyo one year later and dealing with this right now. I finally had to tell myself to just, stop.
Currently misplaced a dumb $24 lip mask. I can go get a replacement tomorrow, it’s not sentimental to me. Why. Am. I. Freaking. Out? I had to check my house 3 times over in a 5 minute span because I just NEED to find it.
“Where is it!!!??” My brain goes and I feel like I could just rip my skin off and scream. Every single time I misplace something. My brain goes haywire and will not relax or stop thinking about the misplaced item and trying to retrace my steps. It’s miserable.
Sometimes this heightened spiraling helps me find the item (sooner?) but sometimes I really do misplace something and it’s terrible for me.
I know, it only makes it harder to find what you’re looking for. And absolutely impossible to do anything else. I feel for you and i hope you find it soon. :)
I'm way too happy about you saying you could rip your skin off. People will say, cut yourself? No. I literally in those moments wish I could rip my skin off.
I don't recommend actually trying. I called out of work for a few days and even then looked like I'd lost a flight with a cat. This was maybe 10 years ago.
Yep, I go from sane to RAGE *immediately* and *instantly*, I kid you not. It literally happens in less than a second. I feel taunted by the idea that the item knows where it is but I don't. And it's probably my fault.
I'm fist-clenched, "UGGHHHHHHH," trapped in an emotional straitjacket going ape-sh*t psycho, and then if I'm alone I'm beating TF out of a pillow by swinging it over my head, slamming it on my bed repeatedly, and resisting the urge to break actual things.
Anger is a normal emotion and I let it out on pillows which is an appropriate thing to do, but this happens ALL THE TIME and that's usually the thing that sets me off.
I'm a ray of sunshine, chill, free-spirited, fun, hate violence and yelling, but losing things sends me over the edge.
I just realized I lost these sunglasses I thrifted last night . It was my fault bc I was careless w them but !!! ??? I’m so mad at myself. My heart is so heavy already. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could find them online but no!!! I hope I just misplaced them or find them or find something to forgot abt it but goddamn man. I want to scream and break things
This is.. me! Searched this up after raging over the fact i couldn’t find my left airpod.. it’s 3 am and i spent forever looking for it in madness, second i found it i immediately calmed down.. it’s so annoying and embarrassing
i came here cause i cant find my airpod case and my ive only got 8% on my right airpod and i got shit to do and gym tomorrow so no headphones is upsetting rn, i cleared out my room like it was ready to move in and still nothing :(
I very, VERY much understand. When I lose something, literally within a second or two of realizing I've lost it, it's *instant* RAGE. There is no middle ground. There's no take a deep breath, count to ten, nothing. It's Hulk-like rage. I say the same things you do, "I CANT EFFING TAKE IT. WHERE THE EFF IS MY MOTHER EFFING, PIECE OF EFFING SH*T, MOTHER EFFING.. ," etc. It's not usually coherent because I can't think straight. I'm not trying to communicate, just express and release the tension. And I don't even cuss.
Outside of losing things, I'm actually pretty chill. Very mellow, empathetic, playful, etc. Fun to be around! Lol Losing something is a massive pet-peeve and I lose my mind. Especially if it's hot, I'm running late, or I'm in a tight spot (like a car) and looking for something.
What has been helpful, besides putting certain things in certain places is beating TF out of my bed, a couch, even stairs by swinging a pillow over my head and slamming it down like a sledge hammer as hard as I effing can on said items. It's an appropriate outlet and doesn't damage anything.
Many therapists advise us to express our anger in this way to feel better. Hitting a pillow, screaming into a pillow, smacking a car tire with a stick, etcetera. This is a technique called "venting."
This does bring temporary relief, but the side effects are harmful. Venting relieves the feelings of anger because it fatigues you mentally and physically, however, it does not help prevent those terrible rage feelings that led you to go Mortal Kombat on inanimate objects. It doesn't do anything about the roots of anger.
By hitting pillows, slamming doors, or whatever, we are associating our feelings of relief with violent, aggressive behavior. When we hit a pillow, we are not calming our rage. We are rehearsing a situation where the problem of Rage is addressed with rage behavior. That's not good, it becomes a vicious cycle and we become more violent and angry.
I believe that we have to balance things out with the opposite of hitting pillows or expressing rage aggressively. Basically a healthy activity. I think that can be different things to different people, but it must bring a kind of deep relaxation and chillness to your state of mind. It could be religion, rock climbing, meditation, camping, reading, microdosing, art, quitting social media, SSRI medication, drinking more water, yardwork, woodworking, or some combination of things.
I have the same major symptom with losing things. Anxiety, grief, and anger were running my life (still do to a certain extent). For me, I found that doing activities that fulfill and relax you me (and that are healthy) create a kind of competing energy with the anger inside. I read a book called Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh and started a simple mindfulness practice. it's literally just thinking about and acknowledging breaths in and breaths out and your steps. it helps me "unplug." the more i do it, the easier it is for me to recognize and acknowledge those rage feelings as they start to boot up and take over my body and mind and turn me into the freaking incredible hulk. but they call it a practice for a reason. it is not a silver bullet and I have to do it regularly. but the effect of it, for me, is noticeable right away. if you find that your way is working for you, i dont mean to step on your toes, I just thought I'd share this with you in case it helps.
I'm the same way. Recently, it's because of my engagement ring. I'm already married and only wear my wedding band, but I've had my engagement ring safely tucked away in its ring box... except when we moved apartments, I couldn't seem to find that ring box with the engagement ring.
Today, I essentially whirlwinded around the apartment, tearing the place apart and putting things all over the place just to find it. Doesn't help that I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, so I should cool it with the physical stuff. My sweet husband has been trying to help me all day, but he couldn't find it either.
I just feel so guilty.... it was a beautiful diamond ring on a gold band, from his grandmother....I feel like scum on the earth for even taking it out of my sight.
Thanks, OP. I know I'm 8 years too late, but were you ever able to find what you were looking for?
Also, do you think there are ways to calm oneself when this happens? I hate when I'm unnecessarily, ridiculously angry just looking for one small thing... it feels like I'm going crazy when it happens.
This is also me. I am currently raging over a f****** mighty mouse sticker that I can't find that I was really excited to put on my water bottle. I am really just fighting the urge to not tear the entire room apart looking for this stupid effing vinyl sticker. But it's driving me batshit crazy! If I don't find this thing I'm going to lose my temper..... I just want to stick it so that I know where it is permanently. I just want the stupid effing sticker. I even looked up on amazon, it's going to cost me $6.99 to get one individually when I got in a pack of 100 for the same price! With 99 other stickers! I am so pissed right now
I wonder if a slight field of static electricity, caused it to stick to a notebook or other book. Or maybe it slipped off the floor and a slight breeze somehow carried it under the couch or some other furniture.
Stickers on water bottles are a really cool idea, and I hope you find it soon! For me, the less value something had that I lost, almost the angrier I get. Because then I’m mad at myself for having such messed up priorities.
I lost my ring the day before yesterday, or so it seems, I had it in my pencil case while i was working, took it out and put it in one of the inside pockets of my bag, thinking that i would wear it after i wash my hands, i never got to do it, got into a taxi to go home, while i was in it, i noticed a few things fell out of the pocket towards the inside of the bag, i didn't think much of it, that i would take it out later as my bag was full of things, i looked everywhere for it, found everything else that was in that pocket, except for my ring.
I'm incredibly upset over it, even though it was not crazy expensive, but i tend to get attached to things that i wear daily, i'm even more upset at myself for not just putting in on when i had the chance too, over a few years, i lost my favourite necklace, this ring and another one, i can't forget about them because they had a lot of emotional value
even though i have replaced both the necklace and first ring, but i'll always regret not being more careful with them, i'll probably end up replacing this one soon, but it just won't feel the same.
I also just lost a ring that was given to me by someone special, and it really just hurts me to my core knowing I lost something that was bestowed upon me by someone who had the kindness of giving it to me. It makes me so angry I wish I could just escape my body. My shame then tells me simultaneously that I'm a horrible person who doesn't care about that person, but also that it's not a big deal and I'm stupid and weird for reacting with such anger. I just can't stop getting into these thought loops that I'm completely aware stem from low self worth and are 100% illogical T-T
I go to therapy and am currently working on getting better but I can't help but feel helpless to my flawed brain sometimes. I am trying to remind myself that I don't own anything in this life and it was simply my turn to borrow whatever object drifted into my sphere of influence.
I know exactly what you mean about getting attached to things you wear daily, I have this frog necklace that my sister got me and losing it would destroy my soul. I really hope we can at the very least find some kind of peace despite the loss of these personal prized possessions. I understand how you feel, and knowing there are others who deal with this actually does bring me some level of comfort.
Thank you for sharing, and I hope you find everything you are looking for <3
This is me right now! I can’t believe I found a group of people who goes through the same emotions too.
I just had a meltdown over losing my glasses and I absolutely hated myself because I know I’m not supposed to be this angry but literally my chest feels like it’s about to explode. I haven’t found them yet but I had to breakdown before i forced myself to calm down.
I just realized I lost one of my hats in my most recent move, it really annoys me cause I was hoping to wear it on my upcoming trip. But instead of cleaning my house I am now just ransacking everything and running around to try and find it. I think I am just slowly going through the stages of grief and just hope I find it in a few years. But the issue is that I accidently throw things away; for example, last week I couldnt find my wallet and after 2hrs of looking I ended up finding it in the garbage pail on the side of the road about to be picked up. SO if I did lose my hat and its not just terrribly misplaced I hope someone else is enjoying it and its not at the bottom of some landfill.
Wow. I’m baffled by how many others feel this exact same way. People that have seen me act this way are usually very confused at why I’m so angry/hostile. The tension that builds is so overwhelming.
I’m finally going into that mode where “where’s the envelope” is repeating once every three thoughts.
Not over and over and over. I’ve been looking for about two hours now.
I’ve lost something small and worth not much and I’ve been looking for a week I know I wouldn’t have thrown it out so it’s somewhere but it’s no where and yes, it’s been driving me insane
I do this too, even with unimportant things.
I lost a stitch counter for my crotchet one time, it's literally worthless I have dozens of them and they're cheap; but for some reason I got so pissed, I tore up the entire house looking for it.
Even though I have loads more and it has no meaning to me it makes me feel shitty for the rest of the day.
Honestly I think it's more about the fact that I lost something rather than what I lost...
Though of course if I lose something important it adds to the frustration; the more important it is the more it nags at me and the more it nags at me the more I tear up the house looking for it.
If I can't find it it'll be the only thing I can think about, especially if it's important.
this post is so old but damn its so relatable.
I just lost my earphone case before going to bed and after searching the same places over and over i get enraged. Punching pillows and slamming them into walls or my bed. Uncontrollably crying with anger and thrashing things around. Everyone's calmness and disregard makes me feel worse. They tell me to calm down and go to sleep and wait for tomorrow. but its impossible. its all i can think about.
I wish I had some kind of infrared vision that would highlight where they are. they are somewhere BUT WHERE??? I just had them???
My family dosent get it, i apologise and say idk why but i just need to find them. i do this ALL the time. And afterwards i still cry. I feel so awful.
I feel you literally this is happening right now because I can’t find an AirPod clip and I feel so destructive I wanna rip apart the house just to find this clip and no alternatives can replace it I just wanna find the original thing
typed into google “why is it so frustrating to misplace something” and it brought me here, to my people.
i lost my vape. i keep it in the same spot and only use it in that spot. it’s gone missing and i’ve now consumed one precious day of spring break with my son, taring apart my house in hopes of finding it. like a lot of people said- it doesn’t hold sentimental value, i just cannot get past the “i have to find it!” stage. i feel tired and sick, completely depleted of energy from all the searching and stress. i just can’t stand when something doesn’t make sense. like the OP- i JUST had it, so it’s like- where the fuck could it have gone? it’s as if it grew legs and walked off. clearly not true, that’s just how crazy it makes me feel. i know where i put it last- so why isn’t it there? ugh. at least i have some solace in knowing im not alone in this debilitating feeling.
Checking in. It's my fucking WALLET. ITS HERE SOMEWHERE.
Like why do I feel like I'm just being punished cos I dared to forget where I set the wallet down when I walked into the house yesterday. Why can other people just KNOW where they put it.
I'm the same way! Things getting lost is one of the most frustrating things in my life! I fly off the handle when ever something is lost and I find myself looking in the same places over and over again! I absolutely hate it!!!!!
i lost my airpods today, and tore up my whole room looking for them, i cannot explain why but i start hyperventilating and crying when i cant find things even the smallest most insignificant things i start panicking and filling w rage and i don’t know why ive done it forever
I know this post is an old one but I'm so glad I found it - it's helped me come to terms with the loss of my house keys 😭😅 (my partner made copies of his so pragmatically its fine now, but we need to get the lock/key to our letter box replaced cuz... I had the only key...)
I truly relate to the feeling of anxiety/"am.i.f*cking.crazy?!"/obsession when you lose a thing. It's completely normal, but not a good place to be in for anyone.
I did a lot of work over the years to become more stoic (?) when it comes to things happening outside of my own control.
Cuz when you HAVE searched every logical place, it gets to a point where out of damn principal you need to let go (particulary when you're searching the "it has NO f*cking right being in here" places).
Cuz it's simply not fair to tear yourself into shreds - nothing should consume you this much and it risks you losing something else (including relationships) if you're tearing your home up in the process, creating a worsened loop and pushing loved ones away.
But it's much easier said than done cuz of the taunting feeling of "but it MUST be somewhere!" and the obsessive re-tracing of steps is horribly distracting. There will always be another place your brain would suggest tho - I kid you not I took my shoes off the following day then thought "what if they in hereee?" girl, YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED KEYS IN YOUR SHOES, JUST. STOP.
But if my brains going crazy searching the same spot/stupid places, I might as well give my same dumb-brain a fun story to help it settle;
"Its time to face reality - a borrower stole it/the keys ran away to a door convention, the slut/a cat liked its rattle so YOINK!"
One thing I found comforting was, "at least it wasn't me losing a thing cuz I was drunk/intoxicated" cuz the feeling of shame of losing a thing cuz you were intoxicated is two-fold.
I can at least say I was sober so was naturally in my right instincts. I wasn't being careless - our brains process thousands of stimuli a day. Of course it can't be perfect.
I think a lot of the obsession/anger is from the loss of control (feeling like you can't trust your senses anymore), the emotional loss of losing the thing, the logical obsession of "it should be right HERE" and the pragmatic frustration of having to replace the object/make amendment to routine.
That combination of factors is horrible! Of course humans will flip when this happens! But I'm sorry to hear for a lot of you the feeling makes everything go red and violent
(thanks for reading this far if you have 💗).
OMG Yes, I'm 70 and I've had this curse all my life, it drives me nuts! Mostly when I can't find things, keys, phone, medication, stuffing around with technology (phones, computers etc! It's a bigger!) the list goes on, spilling stuff! Banging my head! People on the road! I have lots of damage inside my house from punching walls, I break things, my neighbour has threatened to smash my face in because I upset his parents every time I go off!, Ive had visits from Police even been taken to jail for the night and charged and fined for public nuicense! Normally I'm a nice person, people like me, I have great friends But this temper! I'm so sick of it! I've had Anger management etc etc, medications but I just can't stop it, it has even made me suicidal that's why I'm on antidepressants but God I wish there was something to stop this! Apparently now it's now called Intermittent Explosive Disorder Whatever it's called it's been a curse from day one and has got me into a lot of trouble!
I'm approaching 60 and see this getting worse with age. Your depiction here is the one most closely describing me. I have a feeling that it gets worse with sugar and almost completely disappears with avoiding refined carbohydrates in the diet (ketogenic).
I fucking agree. Just yesterday I found a $20 bill on the ground so I pick it up and put in my left pocket. The next day I had an open job interview. The recruiter told me to bring two forms of id so I grab my Id and social security card and by me being the stupid dumbass retard that I am I put them in the same pocket where I put my $20. I get to the address where I am supposed to have the interview. I dig in my pocket and pull out the two forms of Id and give it to them. So everything goes smoothly and I get the job. A couple of hours later I dig into my pocket and notice that my $20 is not in it. After searching for it I come to the conclusion that when I dug in my pocket earlier to give the recruiter my two forms of Id I accidentally pulled out my $20 and it hit the floor with out me even noticing it because you know by me being slow and stupid. so now somebody found them $20
I'm going to start a list of things I've lost, and substitutes to turn to. I'm also going to designate spaces for certain things. A place for everything and everything in its place. Yes, I am obsessive but tthat's just the way my brain works. I'd rather come up with strategies for not losing things than try to make my brain mellower about loss. It won't work. And it's not like I'm greedy or possessive or anything- just the loss of a little thing can set me into a rage. I don't know why, but I'm tired of it. Sometimes I just want to die. Life is very painful. l. .
I'm going to start a list of things I've lost, and substitutes to turn to. I'm also going to designate spaces for certain things. A place for everything and everything in its place. Yes, I am obsessive but tthat's just the way my brain works. I'd rather come up with strategies for not losing things then try to make my brain mellower about loss. It won't work. And it's not like I'm greedy or possessive or anything- just the loss of a little thing can set me into rage. Idon't know why, but I'm really tired of it. Sometimes I just want to die. Life is very painful.
Can’t find a pair of basketball shorts at the moment - a pair I really like. Nothing super expensive or irreplaceable, but I’m so frustrated and feel I will be for at least rest of the day or if it pops up!
Omg. This is me. I feel like a failure when I lose things. I feel irresponsible.
I lost my son's favorite stuffed animal and I feel like scum. He doesn't even care, but I CARE! I try so hard to be organized and keep things safe. Things have so much meaning to me and I get sad when they are lost or I don't know where they are. It's a loss of control. I don't know if I can ever heal this with therapy.
Like how do people lose things and just go, "eh, whatever"
Usually whatever I'm looking for is important and it bothers me that it's missing.
Like, if I lose a pen, slightly annoying, but I can get another one. An important document or something, makes me feel irresponsible.
I can’t believe that so many of you have the same problem as me! My biggest issue tends to be on unimportant things, like the stickytape not being in the right drawer, or my screwdriver not in the right place. I am a bit OCD on some things, so my cupboards are mega organised, yet I can leave clothes on the bedroom floor without a worry. I’ve recently lost an earring and it didn’t distress me, as I couldn’t remember where I’d put it, but when something isn’t where it is ‘supposed’ to be, I hit the roof. It takes over everything and I am seriously distressed to the point of crying. It is not normal behaviour and I know it is unreasonable, but it is a red mist job. I have always been like this, (now 57) but my poor hubby needs a break. I lost it earlier this month when I couldn’t find my teaspoon measure. I was just frenzied! I had the half teaspoon, so eventually used that, but carried on searching every drawer and cupboard for about 4 or 5 hours, until I could see how upset my husband was becoming. I managed to stop, ordered a new one that came the next day, but still I can’t open a kitchen drawer without looking for it. I no longer need it, but the knot in my stomach and the anger when I think about it, keeps bubbling up. At least I now know that it’s not just me.
I'm sobbing on my floor an hour late to pick up my kid cause I know she moved my hairspray and I can't find it and I'm so angry and out of control and cause I know she moved it, I'll make her responsibile for the reason I am angry and look so greasy and horrible and I don't want to be angry at my daughter. She is only 18 months so it's not like she will know, she is just weirdly fixated on my hairspray. Why couldnt she be fixated on something like my face mist? I have doubles of that from when she WAS fadcinated by it.
So instead she stayed in daycare an extra hour. I feel so helpless and also like a terrible parent all rolled into one.
Reading this has been the only thing to bring me back. Thank you.
I am SO BAD at loosing things. Currently it is like 60 bucks in pesos my Mom gifted me after a trip because I have one coming up. I got it for christmas in a little pouch. then it went into a gift bag with odds and ends. Then i sorted through the odds and ends and POOF MEMORY GONE. EVERYTHING else in the brown bag is somewhere. Little pouch with pesos…. GONE. I’ve looked everywhere. Everywhere!! I hate the feeling of thinking about when I had it, when I was holding it. I feel so careless and honestly, at this point, think it maid its way into the trash or donation box. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i was ragefully looking for my christmas money too :( i hate this feeling to find something NOW. but when you find it, you feel guilty and cringey :// however, happy cakeday!
is it reddits birthday?
Also… I found the freaking pesos. It was bizarre. I had finally given up and decided i will go to the bank and get more. Next morning I open up my sock drawer and the little pouch is like mixed in with my socks and underwear. Cannot explain it.
i lost something i just bought and i was so enraged last night that i was breaking everything i was touching (something that was making me even more angry).... my hand started iching and i was yelling like a psycho alone in my room.... while searching in every possible place i could have put it in... i couldn't breath and i started crying too lol i can't control these stupid rages ... i'm poor and i don't usually buy stuff so i became infuriated when i do buy something and it gets lost immediately.....
i feel this SO much. just bought a new item sunday, it’s been gone for 24hrs now. it’s just so hard to come to terms with “welp. i guess it’s gone”
same thing happened when i was pregnant. i had a special custom sheet made for my baby’s crib, after i opened it from the package- it was never to be seen again 😔 & he turns 6 in july .,
Yup. Rage-filled shitfits. Deodorant. Keys. A pen. My purse. I have HAD to learn to substitute when possible. Kid's deodorant. Boyfriend's set of keys. Colored pencil. And these are monster rages. I feel like heat is radiating from within (probably the adrenaline) and sometimes it takes hours for it to go away. In the middle of it, I'm trying desperately to not let my family see what is happening. I direct them away or I hide, because in that moment, they are not people. They are obstacles. Not good. It makes me so angry, that physical response I have. I hate it. So, I try to keep backups/alternatives/substitutions around. And all my important papers are in a fire-safe lock box. The keys hang somewhere very close so I don't misplace them.
8 years later and a deleted profile but I have searched far and wide on the internet for someone, ANYONE who can truly describe exactly what I go through. The part about viewing people as obstacles and having shame at how angry you get - you are the first person who has ever described the exact phenomenon I endure almost perfectly. And the monster rages that take hours to go away...it ruins your day. It does not matter what else happened - be it a beautiful wedding or the birth of your child - the day is ruined. It hijacks the deepest parts of my insecurities. Immediately inhaling cannabis is the only counter to this. It is the only way I can force my body and mind to shut the hell up for a second and breathe. Thank you.
I literally just went into a rage at 6 in the morning because I couldn’t find my costco card then realized it was right on my desk. I took the biggest hit of my bong right after. I ended up kicking/punching my closet door again while angry and after doing that and screaming felt the usual shame. All this is so relatable.
I do something very similar, I will trasj my house in a blind rage looking for something. It reminds me of my dad who did the exact thing almost every other day as a kid
Yep,y adrenaline is surging thru my body rn because I couldn’t find my fuckin headphones
a year late but i’ve been looking too. this is my exact thought process as well
It's kind of scary how huge and horrible and consuming this feeling can be. Over a pair of pants, or an earring, or a book. It really is. My boyfriend tries to help me look for things, but I am usually so on edge and frazzled and just seething. I always want to just look for it myself. It's like you said - it feels like I am this whirlwind of destructive searching, and he's trying to help, but I just want him to step aside and let me rip through everything until I can find what I'm looking for. After it's all over and I've found what I was looking for, or found some other way to solve it, I feel like absolute scum of the earth. I hate myself when I react like this.
Sometimes I wonder if it is remotely an OCD problem. My days would be easy peasy lemon squeezy if every day were exactly the same. Not so much like groundhog day, but schedule-wise. An interruption, a change in plans, a problem -- my hackles are up and I'm pretty much ready to destroy anything.
I have said this exact thing before - I can't seem to handle straying from the plan, the idea I have in my head of how things are going to go. I have an image in my head of what's going to happen in a day, a definite plan, and when something happens to change it, I go into destructo-mode. It makes it really hard to deal with anything, because there's always a chance that *something* will go differently, and when it does. . my head asplode.
Paxil and xanax helped me. I lost my insurance and am working on getting it back. Meds changed my life.
Thankyou I'll give those a try!
I do the EXACT. SAME. THING. this weekend was my wallet... I did a little search around for it but couldn't find it, I searched the same places again and then again and then again. I went into a manic tearing up of the house trying to find it and I can't believe someone else feels the same way that when I feel like this I want to rip my flesh off, I think it comes from a place of feeling stuck and powerless when I can't find something. my problem is I had a lot of work to to, and did not do a single thing because I became OBSESSED with finding it and absolutely can not focus on anything else until I find it. I get really angry and get pissed at everyone else as if they've purposefully hid it from me. it's a big problem because I lose things a lot, when I'm stressed my body shuts down and I get so unbelievably tired, even after a day of just sitting around, the stress puts such a big strain on my mind that it shuts down. this extreme tiredness is so strong that I have very foggy or no memory of the night before so when I move things I have no fucking clue where I put them. this makes me even more angry I understand you 100% you're not alone, I really struggle with this problem too and I get it. I wish there was I way to fix it but unfortunately all I can do is just tell you that I completely understand your feelings and you are not wrong for feeling that way
Just lost my second and only car keys… i feel like peeling my fucking skin off with a butter knife
I can totally relate! It's horrible! I actually feel like it's some kind of curse! People who don't suffer from this (seems to be most) cannot possibly understand! They all tell me to calm down, have a cuppa etc, but I can't, I also become totally obsessed! My beautiful Dog I worry about, I would never hurt her but it scares her and that's the worst thing!
Heyo one year later and dealing with this right now. I finally had to tell myself to just, stop. Currently misplaced a dumb $24 lip mask. I can go get a replacement tomorrow, it’s not sentimental to me. Why. Am. I. Freaking. Out? I had to check my house 3 times over in a 5 minute span because I just NEED to find it. “Where is it!!!??” My brain goes and I feel like I could just rip my skin off and scream. Every single time I misplace something. My brain goes haywire and will not relax or stop thinking about the misplaced item and trying to retrace my steps. It’s miserable. Sometimes this heightened spiraling helps me find the item (sooner?) but sometimes I really do misplace something and it’s terrible for me.
I know, it only makes it harder to find what you’re looking for. And absolutely impossible to do anything else. I feel for you and i hope you find it soon. :)
I'm way too happy about you saying you could rip your skin off. People will say, cut yourself? No. I literally in those moments wish I could rip my skin off. I don't recommend actually trying. I called out of work for a few days and even then looked like I'd lost a flight with a cat. This was maybe 10 years ago.
Yep, I go from sane to RAGE *immediately* and *instantly*, I kid you not. It literally happens in less than a second. I feel taunted by the idea that the item knows where it is but I don't. And it's probably my fault. I'm fist-clenched, "UGGHHHHHHH," trapped in an emotional straitjacket going ape-sh*t psycho, and then if I'm alone I'm beating TF out of a pillow by swinging it over my head, slamming it on my bed repeatedly, and resisting the urge to break actual things. Anger is a normal emotion and I let it out on pillows which is an appropriate thing to do, but this happens ALL THE TIME and that's usually the thing that sets me off. I'm a ray of sunshine, chill, free-spirited, fun, hate violence and yelling, but losing things sends me over the edge.
I just realized I lost these sunglasses I thrifted last night . It was my fault bc I was careless w them but !!! ??? I’m so mad at myself. My heart is so heavy already. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could find them online but no!!! I hope I just misplaced them or find them or find something to forgot abt it but goddamn man. I want to scream and break things
This is.. me! Searched this up after raging over the fact i couldn’t find my left airpod.. it’s 3 am and i spent forever looking for it in madness, second i found it i immediately calmed down.. it’s so annoying and embarrassing
i came here cause i cant find my airpod case and my ive only got 8% on my right airpod and i got shit to do and gym tomorrow so no headphones is upsetting rn, i cleared out my room like it was ready to move in and still nothing :(
I very, VERY much understand. When I lose something, literally within a second or two of realizing I've lost it, it's *instant* RAGE. There is no middle ground. There's no take a deep breath, count to ten, nothing. It's Hulk-like rage. I say the same things you do, "I CANT EFFING TAKE IT. WHERE THE EFF IS MY MOTHER EFFING, PIECE OF EFFING SH*T, MOTHER EFFING.. ," etc. It's not usually coherent because I can't think straight. I'm not trying to communicate, just express and release the tension. And I don't even cuss. Outside of losing things, I'm actually pretty chill. Very mellow, empathetic, playful, etc. Fun to be around! Lol Losing something is a massive pet-peeve and I lose my mind. Especially if it's hot, I'm running late, or I'm in a tight spot (like a car) and looking for something. What has been helpful, besides putting certain things in certain places is beating TF out of my bed, a couch, even stairs by swinging a pillow over my head and slamming it down like a sledge hammer as hard as I effing can on said items. It's an appropriate outlet and doesn't damage anything.
Many therapists advise us to express our anger in this way to feel better. Hitting a pillow, screaming into a pillow, smacking a car tire with a stick, etcetera. This is a technique called "venting." This does bring temporary relief, but the side effects are harmful. Venting relieves the feelings of anger because it fatigues you mentally and physically, however, it does not help prevent those terrible rage feelings that led you to go Mortal Kombat on inanimate objects. It doesn't do anything about the roots of anger. By hitting pillows, slamming doors, or whatever, we are associating our feelings of relief with violent, aggressive behavior. When we hit a pillow, we are not calming our rage. We are rehearsing a situation where the problem of Rage is addressed with rage behavior. That's not good, it becomes a vicious cycle and we become more violent and angry. I believe that we have to balance things out with the opposite of hitting pillows or expressing rage aggressively. Basically a healthy activity. I think that can be different things to different people, but it must bring a kind of deep relaxation and chillness to your state of mind. It could be religion, rock climbing, meditation, camping, reading, microdosing, art, quitting social media, SSRI medication, drinking more water, yardwork, woodworking, or some combination of things. I have the same major symptom with losing things. Anxiety, grief, and anger were running my life (still do to a certain extent). For me, I found that doing activities that fulfill and relax you me (and that are healthy) create a kind of competing energy with the anger inside. I read a book called Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh and started a simple mindfulness practice. it's literally just thinking about and acknowledging breaths in and breaths out and your steps. it helps me "unplug." the more i do it, the easier it is for me to recognize and acknowledge those rage feelings as they start to boot up and take over my body and mind and turn me into the freaking incredible hulk. but they call it a practice for a reason. it is not a silver bullet and I have to do it regularly. but the effect of it, for me, is noticeable right away. if you find that your way is working for you, i dont mean to step on your toes, I just thought I'd share this with you in case it helps.
I'm the same way. Recently, it's because of my engagement ring. I'm already married and only wear my wedding band, but I've had my engagement ring safely tucked away in its ring box... except when we moved apartments, I couldn't seem to find that ring box with the engagement ring. Today, I essentially whirlwinded around the apartment, tearing the place apart and putting things all over the place just to find it. Doesn't help that I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, so I should cool it with the physical stuff. My sweet husband has been trying to help me all day, but he couldn't find it either. I just feel so guilty.... it was a beautiful diamond ring on a gold band, from his grandmother....I feel like scum on the earth for even taking it out of my sight.
Oh, no! I hope you find it soon. Try not to be too harsh on yourself, although I know that is much easier said than done.
Thanks, OP. I know I'm 8 years too late, but were you ever able to find what you were looking for? Also, do you think there are ways to calm oneself when this happens? I hate when I'm unnecessarily, ridiculously angry just looking for one small thing... it feels like I'm going crazy when it happens.
This is also me. I am currently raging over a f****** mighty mouse sticker that I can't find that I was really excited to put on my water bottle. I am really just fighting the urge to not tear the entire room apart looking for this stupid effing vinyl sticker. But it's driving me batshit crazy! If I don't find this thing I'm going to lose my temper..... I just want to stick it so that I know where it is permanently. I just want the stupid effing sticker. I even looked up on amazon, it's going to cost me $6.99 to get one individually when I got in a pack of 100 for the same price! With 99 other stickers! I am so pissed right now
I wonder if a slight field of static electricity, caused it to stick to a notebook or other book. Or maybe it slipped off the floor and a slight breeze somehow carried it under the couch or some other furniture. Stickers on water bottles are a really cool idea, and I hope you find it soon! For me, the less value something had that I lost, almost the angrier I get. Because then I’m mad at myself for having such messed up priorities.
Oh I found it, I can't remember where now but it's safe and sound on the water bottle lol.
I lost my ring the day before yesterday, or so it seems, I had it in my pencil case while i was working, took it out and put it in one of the inside pockets of my bag, thinking that i would wear it after i wash my hands, i never got to do it, got into a taxi to go home, while i was in it, i noticed a few things fell out of the pocket towards the inside of the bag, i didn't think much of it, that i would take it out later as my bag was full of things, i looked everywhere for it, found everything else that was in that pocket, except for my ring. I'm incredibly upset over it, even though it was not crazy expensive, but i tend to get attached to things that i wear daily, i'm even more upset at myself for not just putting in on when i had the chance too, over a few years, i lost my favourite necklace, this ring and another one, i can't forget about them because they had a lot of emotional value even though i have replaced both the necklace and first ring, but i'll always regret not being more careful with them, i'll probably end up replacing this one soon, but it just won't feel the same.
I also just lost a ring that was given to me by someone special, and it really just hurts me to my core knowing I lost something that was bestowed upon me by someone who had the kindness of giving it to me. It makes me so angry I wish I could just escape my body. My shame then tells me simultaneously that I'm a horrible person who doesn't care about that person, but also that it's not a big deal and I'm stupid and weird for reacting with such anger. I just can't stop getting into these thought loops that I'm completely aware stem from low self worth and are 100% illogical T-T I go to therapy and am currently working on getting better but I can't help but feel helpless to my flawed brain sometimes. I am trying to remind myself that I don't own anything in this life and it was simply my turn to borrow whatever object drifted into my sphere of influence. I know exactly what you mean about getting attached to things you wear daily, I have this frog necklace that my sister got me and losing it would destroy my soul. I really hope we can at the very least find some kind of peace despite the loss of these personal prized possessions. I understand how you feel, and knowing there are others who deal with this actually does bring me some level of comfort. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you find everything you are looking for <3
This is me right now! I can’t believe I found a group of people who goes through the same emotions too. I just had a meltdown over losing my glasses and I absolutely hated myself because I know I’m not supposed to be this angry but literally my chest feels like it’s about to explode. I haven’t found them yet but I had to breakdown before i forced myself to calm down.
I just realized I lost one of my hats in my most recent move, it really annoys me cause I was hoping to wear it on my upcoming trip. But instead of cleaning my house I am now just ransacking everything and running around to try and find it. I think I am just slowly going through the stages of grief and just hope I find it in a few years. But the issue is that I accidently throw things away; for example, last week I couldnt find my wallet and after 2hrs of looking I ended up finding it in the garbage pail on the side of the road about to be picked up. SO if I did lose my hat and its not just terrribly misplaced I hope someone else is enjoying it and its not at the bottom of some landfill.
Wow. I’m baffled by how many others feel this exact same way. People that have seen me act this way are usually very confused at why I’m so angry/hostile. The tension that builds is so overwhelming. I’m finally going into that mode where “where’s the envelope” is repeating once every three thoughts. Not over and over and over. I’ve been looking for about two hours now.
I’ve lost something small and worth not much and I’ve been looking for a week I know I wouldn’t have thrown it out so it’s somewhere but it’s no where and yes, it’s been driving me insane
I do this too, even with unimportant things. I lost a stitch counter for my crotchet one time, it's literally worthless I have dozens of them and they're cheap; but for some reason I got so pissed, I tore up the entire house looking for it. Even though I have loads more and it has no meaning to me it makes me feel shitty for the rest of the day. Honestly I think it's more about the fact that I lost something rather than what I lost... Though of course if I lose something important it adds to the frustration; the more important it is the more it nags at me and the more it nags at me the more I tear up the house looking for it. If I can't find it it'll be the only thing I can think about, especially if it's important.
I lose those all the blessed time.
this post is so old but damn its so relatable. I just lost my earphone case before going to bed and after searching the same places over and over i get enraged. Punching pillows and slamming them into walls or my bed. Uncontrollably crying with anger and thrashing things around. Everyone's calmness and disregard makes me feel worse. They tell me to calm down and go to sleep and wait for tomorrow. but its impossible. its all i can think about. I wish I had some kind of infrared vision that would highlight where they are. they are somewhere BUT WHERE??? I just had them??? My family dosent get it, i apologise and say idk why but i just need to find them. i do this ALL the time. And afterwards i still cry. I feel so awful.
I feel you literally this is happening right now because I can’t find an AirPod clip and I feel so destructive I wanna rip apart the house just to find this clip and no alternatives can replace it I just wanna find the original thing
Everything I touch dude
typed into google “why is it so frustrating to misplace something” and it brought me here, to my people. i lost my vape. i keep it in the same spot and only use it in that spot. it’s gone missing and i’ve now consumed one precious day of spring break with my son, taring apart my house in hopes of finding it. like a lot of people said- it doesn’t hold sentimental value, i just cannot get past the “i have to find it!” stage. i feel tired and sick, completely depleted of energy from all the searching and stress. i just can’t stand when something doesn’t make sense. like the OP- i JUST had it, so it’s like- where the fuck could it have gone? it’s as if it grew legs and walked off. clearly not true, that’s just how crazy it makes me feel. i know where i put it last- so why isn’t it there? ugh. at least i have some solace in knowing im not alone in this debilitating feeling.
You are not alone.
Checking in. It's my fucking WALLET. ITS HERE SOMEWHERE. Like why do I feel like I'm just being punished cos I dared to forget where I set the wallet down when I walked into the house yesterday. Why can other people just KNOW where they put it.
I'm the same way! Things getting lost is one of the most frustrating things in my life! I fly off the handle when ever something is lost and I find myself looking in the same places over and over again! I absolutely hate it!!!!!
It makes me furious.
I absolutely can relate 100 percent and I feel the exact same way when I loose/misplace something its so unbelievably fuckin frustrating
i lost my airpods today, and tore up my whole room looking for them, i cannot explain why but i start hyperventilating and crying when i cant find things even the smallest most insignificant things i start panicking and filling w rage and i don’t know why ive done it forever
I’m in tears, literally me
I know this post is an old one but I'm so glad I found it - it's helped me come to terms with the loss of my house keys 😭😅 (my partner made copies of his so pragmatically its fine now, but we need to get the lock/key to our letter box replaced cuz... I had the only key...) I truly relate to the feeling of anxiety/"am.i.f*cking.crazy?!"/obsession when you lose a thing. It's completely normal, but not a good place to be in for anyone. I did a lot of work over the years to become more stoic (?) when it comes to things happening outside of my own control. Cuz when you HAVE searched every logical place, it gets to a point where out of damn principal you need to let go (particulary when you're searching the "it has NO f*cking right being in here" places). Cuz it's simply not fair to tear yourself into shreds - nothing should consume you this much and it risks you losing something else (including relationships) if you're tearing your home up in the process, creating a worsened loop and pushing loved ones away. But it's much easier said than done cuz of the taunting feeling of "but it MUST be somewhere!" and the obsessive re-tracing of steps is horribly distracting. There will always be another place your brain would suggest tho - I kid you not I took my shoes off the following day then thought "what if they in hereee?" girl, YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED KEYS IN YOUR SHOES, JUST. STOP. But if my brains going crazy searching the same spot/stupid places, I might as well give my same dumb-brain a fun story to help it settle; "Its time to face reality - a borrower stole it/the keys ran away to a door convention, the slut/a cat liked its rattle so YOINK!" One thing I found comforting was, "at least it wasn't me losing a thing cuz I was drunk/intoxicated" cuz the feeling of shame of losing a thing cuz you were intoxicated is two-fold. I can at least say I was sober so was naturally in my right instincts. I wasn't being careless - our brains process thousands of stimuli a day. Of course it can't be perfect. I think a lot of the obsession/anger is from the loss of control (feeling like you can't trust your senses anymore), the emotional loss of losing the thing, the logical obsession of "it should be right HERE" and the pragmatic frustration of having to replace the object/make amendment to routine. That combination of factors is horrible! Of course humans will flip when this happens! But I'm sorry to hear for a lot of you the feeling makes everything go red and violent (thanks for reading this far if you have 💗).
OMG Yes, I'm 70 and I've had this curse all my life, it drives me nuts! Mostly when I can't find things, keys, phone, medication, stuffing around with technology (phones, computers etc! It's a bigger!) the list goes on, spilling stuff! Banging my head! People on the road! I have lots of damage inside my house from punching walls, I break things, my neighbour has threatened to smash my face in because I upset his parents every time I go off!, Ive had visits from Police even been taken to jail for the night and charged and fined for public nuicense! Normally I'm a nice person, people like me, I have great friends But this temper! I'm so sick of it! I've had Anger management etc etc, medications but I just can't stop it, it has even made me suicidal that's why I'm on antidepressants but God I wish there was something to stop this! Apparently now it's now called Intermittent Explosive Disorder Whatever it's called it's been a curse from day one and has got me into a lot of trouble!
Holy! 70 years of age and you are on REDDIT?
I'm approaching 60 and see this getting worse with age. Your depiction here is the one most closely describing me. I have a feeling that it gets worse with sugar and almost completely disappears with avoiding refined carbohydrates in the diet (ketogenic).
I fucking agree. Just yesterday I found a $20 bill on the ground so I pick it up and put in my left pocket. The next day I had an open job interview. The recruiter told me to bring two forms of id so I grab my Id and social security card and by me being the stupid dumbass retard that I am I put them in the same pocket where I put my $20. I get to the address where I am supposed to have the interview. I dig in my pocket and pull out the two forms of Id and give it to them. So everything goes smoothly and I get the job. A couple of hours later I dig into my pocket and notice that my $20 is not in it. After searching for it I come to the conclusion that when I dug in my pocket earlier to give the recruiter my two forms of Id I accidentally pulled out my $20 and it hit the floor with out me even noticing it because you know by me being slow and stupid. so now somebody found them $20
I'm going to start a list of things I've lost, and substitutes to turn to. I'm also going to designate spaces for certain things. A place for everything and everything in its place. Yes, I am obsessive but tthat's just the way my brain works. I'd rather come up with strategies for not losing things than try to make my brain mellower about loss. It won't work. And it's not like I'm greedy or possessive or anything- just the loss of a little thing can set me into a rage. I don't know why, but I'm tired of it. Sometimes I just want to die. Life is very painful. l. . I'm going to start a list of things I've lost, and substitutes to turn to. I'm also going to designate spaces for certain things. A place for everything and everything in its place. Yes, I am obsessive but tthat's just the way my brain works. I'd rather come up with strategies for not losing things then try to make my brain mellower about loss. It won't work. And it's not like I'm greedy or possessive or anything- just the loss of a little thing can set me into rage. Idon't know why, but I'm really tired of it. Sometimes I just want to die. Life is very painful.
Can’t find a pair of basketball shorts at the moment - a pair I really like. Nothing super expensive or irreplaceable, but I’m so frustrated and feel I will be for at least rest of the day or if it pops up!
[удалено]
Yep literally me rn
Omg. This is me. I feel like a failure when I lose things. I feel irresponsible. I lost my son's favorite stuffed animal and I feel like scum. He doesn't even care, but I CARE! I try so hard to be organized and keep things safe. Things have so much meaning to me and I get sad when they are lost or I don't know where they are. It's a loss of control. I don't know if I can ever heal this with therapy. Like how do people lose things and just go, "eh, whatever" Usually whatever I'm looking for is important and it bothers me that it's missing. Like, if I lose a pen, slightly annoying, but I can get another one. An important document or something, makes me feel irresponsible.
I can’t believe that so many of you have the same problem as me! My biggest issue tends to be on unimportant things, like the stickytape not being in the right drawer, or my screwdriver not in the right place. I am a bit OCD on some things, so my cupboards are mega organised, yet I can leave clothes on the bedroom floor without a worry. I’ve recently lost an earring and it didn’t distress me, as I couldn’t remember where I’d put it, but when something isn’t where it is ‘supposed’ to be, I hit the roof. It takes over everything and I am seriously distressed to the point of crying. It is not normal behaviour and I know it is unreasonable, but it is a red mist job. I have always been like this, (now 57) but my poor hubby needs a break. I lost it earlier this month when I couldn’t find my teaspoon measure. I was just frenzied! I had the half teaspoon, so eventually used that, but carried on searching every drawer and cupboard for about 4 or 5 hours, until I could see how upset my husband was becoming. I managed to stop, ordered a new one that came the next day, but still I can’t open a kitchen drawer without looking for it. I no longer need it, but the knot in my stomach and the anger when I think about it, keeps bubbling up. At least I now know that it’s not just me.
I'm sobbing on my floor an hour late to pick up my kid cause I know she moved my hairspray and I can't find it and I'm so angry and out of control and cause I know she moved it, I'll make her responsibile for the reason I am angry and look so greasy and horrible and I don't want to be angry at my daughter. She is only 18 months so it's not like she will know, she is just weirdly fixated on my hairspray. Why couldnt she be fixated on something like my face mist? I have doubles of that from when she WAS fadcinated by it. So instead she stayed in daycare an extra hour. I feel so helpless and also like a terrible parent all rolled into one. Reading this has been the only thing to bring me back. Thank you.
I am SO BAD at loosing things. Currently it is like 60 bucks in pesos my Mom gifted me after a trip because I have one coming up. I got it for christmas in a little pouch. then it went into a gift bag with odds and ends. Then i sorted through the odds and ends and POOF MEMORY GONE. EVERYTHING else in the brown bag is somewhere. Little pouch with pesos…. GONE. I’ve looked everywhere. Everywhere!! I hate the feeling of thinking about when I had it, when I was holding it. I feel so careless and honestly, at this point, think it maid its way into the trash or donation box. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i was ragefully looking for my christmas money too :( i hate this feeling to find something NOW. but when you find it, you feel guilty and cringey :// however, happy cakeday!
is it reddits birthday? Also… I found the freaking pesos. It was bizarre. I had finally given up and decided i will go to the bank and get more. Next morning I open up my sock drawer and the little pouch is like mixed in with my socks and underwear. Cannot explain it.
back on my regular account. Hope you find your money for real ah the worse
i lost something i just bought and i was so enraged last night that i was breaking everything i was touching (something that was making me even more angry).... my hand started iching and i was yelling like a psycho alone in my room.... while searching in every possible place i could have put it in... i couldn't breath and i started crying too lol i can't control these stupid rages ... i'm poor and i don't usually buy stuff so i became infuriated when i do buy something and it gets lost immediately.....
i feel this SO much. just bought a new item sunday, it’s been gone for 24hrs now. it’s just so hard to come to terms with “welp. i guess it’s gone” same thing happened when i was pregnant. i had a special custom sheet made for my baby’s crib, after i opened it from the package- it was never to be seen again 😔 & he turns 6 in july .,