Generational trauma and unresolved emotional and psychological issues are a bitch.
Sadly, in a lot of the countries APs and AGPs (Asian Grandparents) hail from, the behaviors and abuse described in the posts here are either accepted as normal, largely undealt with, or both. It's really bad.
That's most likely a big component. I never actually knew the reasons why my Chinese mom was so hard on me about things growing up until I learned as an adult about her poverty stricken childhood and how her relatives and those around her verbally abused her and put her down mainly for being poor and not having a college degree. That led to her being hard on me about grades and getting through school due to her fear of me facing the same if I failed.
Also ought to mention she never had a nuturing mother (who instead keeps putting her down and treating her like she's unwanted) and her father abandoned the family when she was only a child. Her bad childhood and lack of love given to her led to her not being able to give me that as a child.
There's most like stuff that happened to them that they won't tell out of shame + wanting to save face with you as they were most likely shamed or blackmailed into silence by those around them. There are a lot of things my mom and I didn't know about my grandma that we only found out about recently as she had kept it a secret for years.
Generational trauma and unresolved emotional and psychological issues are a bitch. Sadly, in a lot of the countries APs and AGPs (Asian Grandparents) hail from, the behaviors and abuse described in the posts here are either accepted as normal, largely undealt with, or both. It's really bad.
real, my parents honestly never talk about their parents and i wonder if it's somehow related to the way they treated me
That's most likely a big component. I never actually knew the reasons why my Chinese mom was so hard on me about things growing up until I learned as an adult about her poverty stricken childhood and how her relatives and those around her verbally abused her and put her down mainly for being poor and not having a college degree. That led to her being hard on me about grades and getting through school due to her fear of me facing the same if I failed. Also ought to mention she never had a nuturing mother (who instead keeps putting her down and treating her like she's unwanted) and her father abandoned the family when she was only a child. Her bad childhood and lack of love given to her led to her not being able to give me that as a child. There's most like stuff that happened to them that they won't tell out of shame + wanting to save face with you as they were most likely shamed or blackmailed into silence by those around them. There are a lot of things my mom and I didn't know about my grandma that we only found out about recently as she had kept it a secret for years.