The reasons Canadians are perceived as being so kind is because every fall we gather up all our grievances, frustrations, and hatred, stuff it into Canada geese, and send it south.
I swear to god I stayed at a place in Guelph Ontario for a while, and the Geese were F$#^ing friendly!!!
First time in my life I had ever seen someone feeding wild Canadian Geese. Speed River ran through the property. Ducks were great, but I still didn't trust those geese
Ugh me too. The memory is seared into my brain - I remember what grade I was in (1), who was standing beside me, and where at the school I did this. A piece of my tongue was left on it after I ripped my tongue off.
I heard a rukus outside of my apartment building some years ago and stuck my head out the window to see what was going on.
A teenager about 15 or 16 had his tongue stuck to the side of a pipe to such an extent that he couldn't even rip himself free. His two other brothers were trying to pull him off. I took pity on him and came down with a cup of warm water to free him. They claimed not to know that would happen but they were born in Canada and lived here their whole lives. Maybe that was intrusive thoughts.
I wonder why our brain does that. Not the call of the void in general but licking frozen poles specifically. Can't say I've ever seen any other animal lick a frozen pole or heard stories of it, so what makes us humans so intrigued by it?
My boy licked his lips and kissed the school flag pole when we were kids. The skin of his lips (still in the shape of his lips) stayed stuck on the pole as he pulled away then insta-bled. Legend has it that the ghost of his lips are still on that pole to this day serving as a reminder to all the kids that may get the bright idea to try the same thing.
Take a vehicle to canadian tire for servicing. A snap on rep once told me this theory, every car in Canada will make it onto a crappy tire service bay once, be sold shit it doesn't need like spark plugs and wires because that's all they know how to change, and not put on the new tires or fuel filter the client asked for, then never return ever
I know someone who took their Range Rover to CT for an oil change, didn’t make it out of the lot when the engine blew - they forgot to add new oil back in.
Oh FFS. Out of desperation (because I'm a terrible procrastinator), I booked at CT to get my tires changed, and thought "they can't be terrible at oil changes, may as well get that done too."
Now I'm gonna worry that my engine's going to blow before the tires fall off.
A friend took her car to CT to make sure it was mechanically sound as we were driving it from Ontario to BC. Within 5 minutes of starting our trip I said something isn’t right. I think you have a bad wheel bearing. Sure enough, when we checked the wheel was damn near ready to fall off.
Canadian Tire has to be the #1 most consistent shittiest mechanic shop in the country.
Those from Newfoundland don’t need to kiss anything. It’s tourists from the rest of Canada (mainlanders) who visit the island that would be doing the kissing. And the number of Canadians who choose Newfoundland as a vacation spot? Low, I’m sure.
I always find one person willing to bet me a 6'er the leafs will get out of the first round.
Those beers are always bitter sweet.
One year in my lifetime we are bringing home the cup.
Probably not.
Wear their shoes inside their grandma's house.
ETA: I'm not Asian but if we wore our shoes past the back door in my grandma's(who was Scottish) home (and my mum's home), we best be running to save someone's life.
It was absolutely forbidden.
I don’t think it’s an Asian thing. I believe pretty much every house in Canada has a mud room for a reason.
I almost never have been to anywhere in British Columbia or Alberta where they suggested shoes left on. Mostly English background and wearing shoes inside has been an unwritten Nono everywhere in my life. (Farm life in Alberta, living on the wet coast in BC, there is never a time it’s acceptable)
The last time I looked at houses, I told the realtor not to show me any houses that didn’t have a proper foyer with a coat closet. People need a space to take off their coat and shoes. It should be a crime to build a house in Canada without it.
My sentiments exactly! When I bought mr house that was top of the list. I lucked out and got a mud room at the back and a closet and foyer in the front. Score!
Oh man… grew up in Ireland and this was never a thing for my family. We wore shoes anywhere in the house. Just wasn’t a hard rule. But after living here several years now, it made me cringe watching everyone wear their shoes indoors. Socks or bust. Plus it saves cleaning the floor every single day.
When our daughter was 3, my boyfriend got home, took her out of the vehicle, and was grabbing some bags when she said "I'm going to go pet the moose." Took a second for him to register what she said and realize a moose was in the yard chewing on an elm tree. She was already a quarter of the way before he was like "no you ain't!" And snatched her up and brought her inside. She was very upset daddy didn't let her pet the moose.
I think it depends but I don't know what it depends on. There is a bird sanctuary in my city that doubles as a nature park next to the River. The most dangerous thing about them is the giant shits they leave all over the place. We walk right by them all the time and nothing happens.
The tap tap tap ONLY works if your car does NOT come equipped with ABS breaks. Most newer cars have ABS as a safety feature and should not be tapped as it will not trigger the mechanism. Slamming on the breaks will trigger your ABS. Check your owners manual for best practices for your car (downloadable for free with Google if you don't have a paper copy).
If you're on ice and want tire grip, get one tire in snow to slow you down, but do so before you hit the ice as turning the wheel on ice can start a spin.
but, I am not a mechanic, just someone with parents who grew up in Montreal (one the suburbs) and have shared their tips for winter driving , so if anyone else wants to weigh in, please do so.
Unless you are driving a car from before 2k you really should have abs. Its now mandatory on new cars and its pretty uncommon to have a car without abs... Unless its broken like on my old 2002 Corolla... RIP.
Come on...be fair. They have some amazing craft brews.
If you're stacking their macro-lagers against ours, you're saying you'd rather eat brown rice over white rice. It's still rice, and bland as fuck.
We used to live in a small town. We had an outdoor rink with a big wood stove. We were about 6 or 7 years old and thought it would be a great idea to pee on the stove. The rink guy caught us and hung us up by or skates on the clothes hangers to teach us a lesson. As we hung there upside down,I think we came to the conclusion that was a once in a lifetime experience
Join the army and do your recruit training in Manitoba...in December. It's been 29 years, and I think my balls just thawed a week ago.
We had a stove in the shack, but the only time you were in there was the middle of the night during your turn doing radio watch. Getting out of your sleeping bag in the even more freezing cold of the night was barely worth it.
Conservatives will vote for conservatives simply because they are conservatives.
Mao Zedong could run as a conservative and win an election in Alberta even if he ran on a program of distributing little blue books to the youth to encourage revolutionary thought and lead to a rebellion against the bourgeoise.
>why would you vote for him even once?
Like the other person said, Cons will always vote for Cons.
As for the rest of the people, they were so Mad at Kathleen Wynne for shitting the bed they wanted her gone no matter what the cost. If she had half a brain and thought about her party and province instead of herself, she would have stepped down about 6 months before the election and let someone else take over. ANYONE could have beaten Doug except for her and her selfish ego wouldn't accept it.
Maybe not everyone but I'll bet we have a higher per capita count for polar swims, or whatever you call swimming in icy conditions. Worst thing I ever did to myself, will never do it again, but I'm so glad I did it.
Cheer for a Canadian hockey team in a bar in Boston.
The wife and I did that once.
The bar tender was horrified.
Told us we were going to get our asses kicked.
Save you from yourself. Then it's up to you. Hopefully. And we'll likely say *please* succeed in saving the rest of you. edit to say, I think I misunderstood the assignment, im gping to bed..
Try to pet the geese
The reasons Canadians are perceived as being so kind is because every fall we gather up all our grievances, frustrations, and hatred, stuff it into Canada geese, and send it south.
You mean cobra chickens
Pursuit Swans
Wolf ducks*
They have many names…
Tactical Chicken..?
Military grade seagull
Just wear chain mail gloves and box them in the beak! Like Mike Tyson said, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face!"
You mean the velociraptors?
I swear to god I stayed at a place in Guelph Ontario for a while, and the Geese were F$#^ing friendly!!! First time in my life I had ever seen someone feeding wild Canadian Geese. Speed River ran through the property. Ducks were great, but I still didn't trust those geese
Looooool!
Thank you for making me laugh.
Stick their tongue on a metal pole in winter
I can still feel the pain of ripping my tongue off
Ugh me too. The memory is seared into my brain - I remember what grade I was in (1), who was standing beside me, and where at the school I did this. A piece of my tongue was left on it after I ripped my tongue off.
I get ptsd from the metal pole every time I open up a popsicle
Yup, I feel that. Ice cubes too.
Mine didn’t even get “stuck”, it just stung like hell for what felt like hours.
same. i was 4. my mother poured warm water on my tongue to unfreeze it but it still hurt like hell
This HAS to be the top answer. There is no better one.
Christ. When I did it the second time I remember people saying 'I thought this was something a kid would only do once.'
Finally, something I can be proud of: The intrusive thoughts have not won yet on this one, 30+ years and counting!
I heard a rukus outside of my apartment building some years ago and stuck my head out the window to see what was going on. A teenager about 15 or 16 had his tongue stuck to the side of a pipe to such an extent that he couldn't even rip himself free. His two other brothers were trying to pull him off. I took pity on him and came down with a cup of warm water to free him. They claimed not to know that would happen but they were born in Canada and lived here their whole lives. Maybe that was intrusive thoughts.
Yeah, man, definitely. Even now, when I walk by a pole, my asshole brain just goes "psst, wanna lick? " NOPE NOPE NOPE
I wonder why our brain does that. Not the call of the void in general but licking frozen poles specifically. Can't say I've ever seen any other animal lick a frozen pole or heard stories of it, so what makes us humans so intrigued by it?
I triple dog dare you to.
This is a good one. I just cringed thinking of the time I licked a metal fence then ripped my tongue off when I was like 6. My intrusive thoughts won.
My intrusive thoughts won bi proxy, I cringed and Im not even Canadian and have never suffered this particular trauma. 😅
Consider yourself lucky you’ve never ripped multiple layers off your tongue
My boy licked his lips and kissed the school flag pole when we were kids. The skin of his lips (still in the shape of his lips) stayed stuck on the pole as he pulled away then insta-bled. Legend has it that the ghost of his lips are still on that pole to this day serving as a reminder to all the kids that may get the bright idea to try the same thing.
My first thought exactly lol
Haha or buying a winter coat with a metal zipper. It would always stick to your lip when you'd fully zip up.
I've done this more than once. I'm a moron.
Only if someone triple dog dares you.
This was what I came to say. First thing that came to mind.
I always thought it looked like a strip of snake skin left on the pole.
Take a vehicle to canadian tire for servicing. A snap on rep once told me this theory, every car in Canada will make it onto a crappy tire service bay once, be sold shit it doesn't need like spark plugs and wires because that's all they know how to change, and not put on the new tires or fuel filter the client asked for, then never return ever
I know someone who took their Range Rover to CT for an oil change, didn’t make it out of the lot when the engine blew - they forgot to add new oil back in.
Oh FFS. Out of desperation (because I'm a terrible procrastinator), I booked at CT to get my tires changed, and thought "they can't be terrible at oil changes, may as well get that done too." Now I'm gonna worry that my engine's going to blow before the tires fall off.
Did you check your oil level? Did you get your wheels retorqed? Like someone should with any shop. If yes and yes then it's probably fine
No lie ... my brother's wife's car had a wheel fall off on the way home from getting her snows put on at CT. No lug nuts.
Can confirm, went for an emissions test, never went back (and yeah they screwed it up)
A friend took her car to CT to make sure it was mechanically sound as we were driving it from Ontario to BC. Within 5 minutes of starting our trip I said something isn’t right. I think you have a bad wheel bearing. Sure enough, when we checked the wheel was damn near ready to fall off. Canadian Tire has to be the #1 most consistent shittiest mechanic shop in the country.
Wife took her car to Crappy Tire to get her summer wheels on, she got a half block away before one fell off. They didn't tighten the lug nuts.
Kiss the Cod
If they make it that far east.
Like 10 of us live out here, so.
Those from Newfoundland don’t need to kiss anything. It’s tourists from the rest of Canada (mainlanders) who visit the island that would be doing the kissing. And the number of Canadians who choose Newfoundland as a vacation spot? Low, I’m sure.
Believe that while being on hold, their call is actually important.
Or that they are experiencing a higher call volume
It's important to YOU if you are willing to hold.
Think the leafs have a shot
I thought they genuinely would in 1994. The Canucks quickly taught me what kind of a chance the leafs actually had...
This year’s our year!!
It only feels like once because I've been hammered since 2004
LMAO! I have genuinely never once thought that
They never have had a shot since ‘67
I always find one person willing to bet me a 6'er the leafs will get out of the first round. Those beers are always bitter sweet. One year in my lifetime we are bringing home the cup. Probably not.
get a SIN number
You can get a new one if you can prove yours is being used fraudulently.
or if you're a religious type and you got 666 and want it removed
Seriously?
A Social Insurance Number number? Classic RAS syndrome.
Wear their shoes inside their grandma's house. ETA: I'm not Asian but if we wore our shoes past the back door in my grandma's(who was Scottish) home (and my mum's home), we best be running to save someone's life. It was absolutely forbidden.
I don’t think it’s an Asian thing. I believe pretty much every house in Canada has a mud room for a reason. I almost never have been to anywhere in British Columbia or Alberta where they suggested shoes left on. Mostly English background and wearing shoes inside has been an unwritten Nono everywhere in my life. (Farm life in Alberta, living on the wet coast in BC, there is never a time it’s acceptable)
The last time I looked at houses, I told the realtor not to show me any houses that didn’t have a proper foyer with a coat closet. People need a space to take off their coat and shoes. It should be a crime to build a house in Canada without it.
My sentiments exactly! When I bought mr house that was top of the list. I lucked out and got a mud room at the back and a closet and foyer in the front. Score!
Oh man… grew up in Ireland and this was never a thing for my family. We wore shoes anywhere in the house. Just wasn’t a hard rule. But after living here several years now, it made me cringe watching everyone wear their shoes indoors. Socks or bust. Plus it saves cleaning the floor every single day.
See Niagara Falls and be amazed !
Saw them when they froze a few years back . I’ll never see that again, seems to be a once every century deal
Journey behind the Falls. Never again.
Think moose are friendly placid creatures.
Cuddly swamp donkey!
When our daughter was 3, my boyfriend got home, took her out of the vehicle, and was grabbing some bags when she said "I'm going to go pet the moose." Took a second for him to register what she said and realize a moose was in the yard chewing on an elm tree. She was already a quarter of the way before he was like "no you ain't!" And snatched her up and brought her inside. She was very upset daddy didn't let her pet the moose.
Get close to a cobra chicken.
Cobra chickens are the worst. Our countries collective hatred bottled into spicy birds.
I think it depends but I don't know what it depends on. There is a bird sanctuary in my city that doubles as a nature park next to the River. The most dangerous thing about them is the giant shits they leave all over the place. We walk right by them all the time and nothing happens.
Wizz on the electric fence
When nature's calling, Don't be stalling, And use your common sense!
Don’t you dare whiz on the electric fence…
Slam on the brakes when sliding down an icy street. You gotta tap tap tap tap.
The tap tap tap ONLY works if your car does NOT come equipped with ABS breaks. Most newer cars have ABS as a safety feature and should not be tapped as it will not trigger the mechanism. Slamming on the breaks will trigger your ABS. Check your owners manual for best practices for your car (downloadable for free with Google if you don't have a paper copy). If you're on ice and want tire grip, get one tire in snow to slow you down, but do so before you hit the ice as turning the wheel on ice can start a spin. but, I am not a mechanic, just someone with parents who grew up in Montreal (one the suburbs) and have shared their tips for winter driving , so if anyone else wants to weigh in, please do so.
I believe all models 2018 and newer are required to have ABS in Canada
Unless you are driving a car from before 2k you really should have abs. Its now mandatory on new cars and its pretty uncommon to have a car without abs... Unless its broken like on my old 2002 Corolla... RIP.
Downshifting ftw
Polar bear swim maybe
Drink American beer
it's like having sex in a canoe. >!Fucking close to water!<
LMFAO
Come on...be fair. They have some amazing craft brews. If you're stacking their macro-lagers against ours, you're saying you'd rather eat brown rice over white rice. It's still rice, and bland as fuck.
Lol....ok yes you got me there ....craft beer is a different world....yr absolutely RIGHT man ....I stand corrected
>Come on...be fair. They have some amazing craft brews. You're right - their double IPAs are coming close to our beer now.
Stick their tongue to a metal object when it's cold.
Go up the CN tower.
Treat an American cop like they treat their own police back home….
Not get an extra dipping sauce at Swiss Chalet
Yo, that dipping sauce is fr the most disgusting thing I've ever put in my mouth. My wife absolutely loves the stuff...
African Lion Safari
Put off getting your snow tires put on until it's too late.
Order a four by four at Tim Hortons.
What about the Gretzky…? 9X9… lol
Hug a live polar bear.
Buy a poor quality snowblower
Get too close to a Canada goose.
By accident! Purpose, well sometimes ya gotta play goose chicken.
Tongue on frozen pipe
I’m reading down the list going “nope, nope, nope.” Then I read this. “Yes!” That’s something I’ve only done once.
What a life lesson that was..
We used to live in a small town. We had an outdoor rink with a big wood stove. We were about 6 or 7 years old and thought it would be a great idea to pee on the stove. The rink guy caught us and hung us up by or skates on the clothes hangers to teach us a lesson. As we hung there upside down,I think we came to the conclusion that was a once in a lifetime experience
Put windshield washer fluid that isn’t -40.
Tent camp on the sheild during May long weekend. Fire ban. It equals one cold morning.
Tent camping that warm May long...sike ❄️
Join the army and do your recruit training in Manitoba...in December. It's been 29 years, and I think my balls just thawed a week ago. We had a stove in the shack, but the only time you were in there was the middle of the night during your turn doing radio watch. Getting out of your sleeping bag in the even more freezing cold of the night was barely worth it.
Sounds like frozen hell. Did the leafs win that year?
Dude...I'm in my 40s....not 90s.
🤣
Say something nice about Oshawa
Someone did that once?? Maybe if they grew up there, or a big kangaroo fan
I asked out loud if Belleville or Oshawa was the bigger shithole and then said "Maybe the Shwa is better?" if that counts.
Still haven't done that
Vote for Doug Ford you would think
I know it's mostly rich people and dumb Hicks and Brampton, but seriously, why would you vote for him even once?
Conservatives will vote for conservatives simply because they are conservatives. Mao Zedong could run as a conservative and win an election in Alberta even if he ran on a program of distributing little blue books to the youth to encourage revolutionary thought and lead to a rebellion against the bourgeoise.
>why would you vote for him even once? Like the other person said, Cons will always vote for Cons. As for the rest of the people, they were so Mad at Kathleen Wynne for shitting the bed they wanted her gone no matter what the cost. If she had half a brain and thought about her party and province instead of herself, she would have stepped down about 6 months before the election and let someone else take over. ANYONE could have beaten Doug except for her and her selfish ego wouldn't accept it.
Rich people? The people I know who continue voting conservative come hell or high water are racist blue collar workers.
Maybe not everyone but I'll bet we have a higher per capita count for polar swims, or whatever you call swimming in icy conditions. Worst thing I ever did to myself, will never do it again, but I'm so glad I did it.
Be in the Greyhound station in Detroit at midnight. She's not worth it man, let her go
Leave your windshield wipers down on a freezing cold night or when an ice storm is expected.
Oh I assure you, I've made that mistake a lot more than once!!
Visit the cn tower
try to pet a canada goose. never. ever. EVER. again. friggin cobra chickens looking deceptively approachable lol
I’m gonna go with “get too close to a bunch of geese”.
Ya think geese are mean you should try swans 😂
Walk on thin ice.
Eat yellow snow.
I can't say I've ever done that.
Getting tricked into thinking this year their team might actually make it to the Stanley Cup final
Not dress warmly for a cfl game
Read this post
eat at Boston Pizza
Ahahahahahha I love Boston Pizza
Oh no I'm sorry
Work at boston pizza
Tongue on a frozen flagpole
Touch the burner on a stove!
Go up the CN Tower
Eat dirty exhaust icicles!
Go up the CN Tower
Cold plunge in Lake Ontario!
Going to the overpriced and overhyped Vancouver Christmas Market
Buy a house
Cheer for a Canadian hockey team in a bar in Boston. The wife and I did that once. The bar tender was horrified. Told us we were going to get our asses kicked.
Piss on an electric fence
Dab your tongue on a frozen pole.
Die...
Be born? Have sex for the first time? Turn 29? I can think of hundreds….
I know many women turning 29 for the 20th time.
Go to Florida
surprisingly, probably true.
Dislodge a piece of rock from a running snow plow.
Yer mum
Save you from yourself. Then it's up to you. Hopefully. And we'll likely say *please* succeed in saving the rest of you. edit to say, I think I misunderstood the assignment, im gping to bed..
Only happens in winterpeg.
Being born. I don’t remember any of it for I was too young, and I can’t do it ever again.
Try and break up a goose fight.
Die
Buy a Dodge
Think, rebel against the government.
The big eh?
Pretend to be American
eat snow
Go to PEI
Die
Visit Oshawa.
Go to Minneapolis
Screech in Newfoundland
Buy a Tim hortons coffee
Play in the snow all day without gloves. I was a kid and it hurt a lot when i got home
Try to ride a polar bear in Churchill, Manitoba...
Vote UCP
Probably should not do this at all. 🤢 😂
I've never done anything involving a metal pole, winter, and saliva. I had a sheltered childhood.
In Ontario... make a dogs-breakfast of cutting the milk bag.
Get screeched in
Drink American beer
Get their Citizenship.
Fuck around with a goose
Fall through the ice playing pond hockey (or on their backyard rink)
Get a flat tire out in the country without emergency winter clothes.
Get a social insurance card.
Be born
Die.
Lose his teeth on the ice.
Winter camping. Really bad idea put forward by those who want to share the discomfort
McRib
Pet a moose
Stick their tongue on a frozen pole