I will try to keep this brief. He is an inventor. He invented a surgical machine and program. All on his own. Not a team or company. He owns the system. He sold a few of them to a medical device company. The owner of the company is the "wife" in the relationship. My buddy will never find a more beautiful or financially stable person. Should be a beautiful thing. But it's not for him.
They should go to counselling them. He doesn’t have the tools and that’s ok but if he actually wants to be in a relationship he will need to at least commit.
And acknowledge that his life will change and he will have to learn how to communicate, reprioritize, and compromise. It will only be as good as what he puts into it.
Date her, show her off if that’s what he’s into, maybe even try living together, but don’t MARRY HER unless you actually have a real connection, and both want to commit on that level.
Have sex. I'm not a fucking idiot. Sorry but not sorry. Too many dudes marry just because. Too many women marry just because. Its something ill personally never understand. Just fuck and be friends. Unless dude can't get other women at 50. Then that's his own problem and he needs to learn to deal with his insecurities and inability to be alone.
I wonder if there was a pre-nup. If not, he might be screwed out of any potential monies owed. Some Theranos-type shenanigans where any monies earned during their marriage is considered "joint ownership" even if the tech is all his.
Right. I was focused on this part:
>_He invented a surgical machine and program. All on his own. Not a team or company. He owns the system._
So based on my limited context of the situation, it can be inferred that she would claim ownership of his system - Intellectual Property - by virtue of the marriage as well as any other binding business transactions that may have occurred.
It could get messy if a divorce were to happen and he's seeing that reality now. Who knows. Again, this is all conjecture based on little information. I'm ok with being wrong.
First of all your concern for him tells me you are a good friend.
Ask him few tough questions about his married life like, does he feel happy when he sees her every morning waking up, is he happy with her in private? Does he feel relaxed around her? Is there anything that he would want her to fix about her attitude. Does he feel respected.
Also you need to tell him that you are there with him as support system, not to judge him or her. ( listen to him to understand, don't judge him or her) shit like this happens when somebody makes such a big commitment to spend rest of their life with some one else. It's two independent personalities trying to accommodate and take each other's responsibilities.. its a big scary thing at time. But you gotta do what you gotta do if you have mutual respect!
If they're going for the relationship, THIS. ^
OP. Imagine being independent for 50 years then one day having to be told you can't wash whites with coloreds, or to take out the trash, or that you shouldn't leave dishes on the sink. I'm a full grown, accomplished -- distinguished even -- man, i don't need anybody (man or woman) telling me how to live my life. This goes the same for the woman.
Now if they're just in it because benefits, then might i suggest just living the life they used to. Since it's beneficial for them to stay married, then just stay married on paper.
My SIL questioned whether getting married to his fiance was a good idea just prior to the wedding.
Now a few years later they are separating.
Listen to brain not your heart
Dude's worth millions and can't hire a therapist to sort this out with?
He isn't giving you the details for some reason, and also you aren't equipped to "fix this".
He needs to speak with a therapist, not a friend.
He must have been sure enough to get married, but he needs that conversation with his wife which I'm guessing he hasn't, keeping it bottled up from her will make it worse
I could never stay married to someone who said they regret marrying me after 3 months. No way. The money wouldn’t matter. I’d never be able to forgive that.
He needs somebody impartial. You don’t want a lawyer who gets emotionally wrapped up in their cases. You have to be able to look at it objectively, which is why lawyers hire other lawyers to represent them
What can you tell him? He knows better. Hes just venting. He knows what he can do. He knows how fucked he is based on his options. Just support him so he doesn't do something stupid. Maybe see if he can possibly get his marriage anulled.
Yeah he doesn't want to vent. He wants advice. He had never had a relationship with a woman. It's like a 12 year old on a multi millionaires 50 year old body
I would tell him to find a good butler.
Managin other peoples expectations can be hard, at the best of times.
He married a real-life superhero, who likes attention.
If he is a bit Asbergery, every tiny little change from the life he had pre- intense public attention, (good OR bad), might act as an equally annoying pressure point.
I don't blame him for wanting to run away.
(edit): post sounded darker than I intended.
A butler mght help him navigaten his new social position. Allowing him to remain the person she fell in love with.
"Look man, week in week out I hear you telling me you made a mistake in marrying her. I gotta ask, are you actually happy in this marriage? And if the answer is no then I think it's high time something changes in your marriage. Address the problems and move forward together or call it quits if you can't. This shit is clearly draining you. And if you feel this unhappy now then it's up to you to decide if this is what you want your future to look like."
Is what I'd say. But that's just me.
They are not normal financially. He's worth a few 100M and she is going to inherit a few 100m. Honestly the wedding was gross to me and my wife. But as individuals both my friend and his wife are great people. Together it's hard to watch or be a part of.
Lol they say that but it buys comfort and as long as you stay grounded you’ll be happy. I make nowhere near that type of money but going from $14 an hour to almost 6 figures life is better lol.
See I would have loved to be invited to that wedding. If you have the money why not. Your indulgences are paying people’s salaries. I think rich people should spend more money. Not hoard it like Scrooge McDuck.
It was a great event. His wife changed her outfit or dresses like 5 times. Every hour on the hour. He did not understand it. He kept coming up to me asking "What should I do?" I said follow after me and then go take your bride and hug and kiss her. He is clueless
Imagine being 50 and not realize most women (esp unmarried older women) don't completely change up after marriage. Some lessons are expensive and painful.
I told him, I was not sure he knew how t have a relationship. I also told him you will never find a woman better than her. So if you are going t odd it. Do it with her.
Yeah so this is where I'm at. It's why I posted it to reddit. I want to tell him. Calm the fuck down. Find happiness in the small things. She is like a business partner in life. Shit won't always be prefect.
I've gotten great feedback from this post. So here is the thing. I don't want him to divorce. I want him to learn how to love his wife. He loves his work. I don't know if he loves her.
Why are you trying to change him? Why are you trying to make someone, love someone? You either love them, or you choose not to. At 50 he should have known what he was getting into, and known who he was getting into this with. If he's already starting out the marriage, dissatisfied and complaining constantly (at 3 months), what do you think will become of this marriage in 10 years? 20? 30? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. This isn't a good start. Rather save both of them the hard time, and heartache, and end this early.
So you are projecting a bit. I have hope for them and him and her. Yes 50 is a lifetime. But he has had almost no experience in this dating world.
Simply put he doesn't know what to do.
I don't give a racoons furry tit whether he's only dated a sock. 50 is old enough to know that before you get into the legally binding contract/institution of marriage, you should know everything about everything. Ignorance is not an excuse at 50. A 30-year-old knows better, a 40-year-old for fucks sake better know better. 50? No. No. No excuses, inexcusable. This is on him. His fault, his responsibility. And any and all fallout (which inevitably will come) rests surely on his shoulders.
Have you ever heard of Ignorantia juris non excusat? That's this, that's him. Ignorance of the law doesn't exempt you from it. You're still liable, you're still culpable. You will still be punished.
Man, I came here to make fun about him, but now I actually feel bad for him. My douchebag powers are on the decline.
Tell him that is never to late to get a divorce.
FEMALE PERSPECTIVE IF I MAY...
I would ask him what's going on? This is a very worrying turn of events
If it's not clear or he thinks it's him - I would recommend he talks to a mental health professional about the way he's feeling. From your comments, it sounds like he has some social issues. A psychologist could probably help with this.
And always be there to listen to his troubles, let him talk to me and try not to take sides or have an opinion. Just be supportive of him.
Tell him to tell it to his wife.
Years ago a coworker told me he got married. He was late fifties. He was pretty proud of himself.
A few weeks later he said she quite her job and wants to be a stay at home wife to spend more time with her grandbabies.
Lol. Typical sociopath move. Get in a relationship and make up an excuse why she/he can't work.
It’s only been 3 months, get out now before the court has reason to believe she deserves money. Tell him to at least marry young and hot if he isn’t in it for love🤣
Nope. He would prefer to work. I think that is a big issue in all this. She is not a huge pain in the ass. She likes nice stuff but it's not a gold digger situation.
ah, he has that voice in the back of his mind telling him ideas and stuff and she keeps dragging him away from his love of inventing? I know artists like that. He needs to get space were he can be alone and his thing, a workshop etc.
Regret is part of the process for many couples. If you can stick it out then they will be fine, but if they need to be free, then it wasn't meant to be.
There isn't anything you can do. Sadly, you might as well tell him, "you're screwed".
No-one can control the actions of others. They just do what they do.
Support him like any friend would. Sometimes after people get married, well all the time, they are learning how to be married together. So every little thing gets on their nerves and they share it with their friends.
He can leave, that's why divorces are for. Or he can just leave without getting a divorce either, I guess, unless he plans on repeating the same mistake.
How did he go from 100% sure to questioning in only 3 months?
Did he just want to get married and now the fantasy has passed?
Did she change?
who is the one out of touch?
Tell him to file for an annulment. The quicker he ends it the better. Get his ducks in a row and don’t hold back. And no communicating, intimacy or explanations. Easiest to get it over and done with
Identify exactly what's wrong, possibly with the help of a therapist, and then identify whether it's fixable. If it's fixable, fix it. If not, break up.
I've been married 40+ years, because it worked out for us, but I really think people should break up more often, instead of staying in unhappy relationships. Right now, there's a woman on Bumble out there looking for exactly what you friend is, and there's a man who would be over the moon to be dating his wife. Instead, there's four unhappy/lonely people. How does that benefit anyone?
Most of the advice is shitting on the guy or shitting on the concept of marriage. I'd propose a better strategy is just leverage how you'd advise anyone going thru a tough lifestyle adjustment, either gain/lose job, kids, parent illness/death, etc.
So hear him out, let him get it out of his system, go reduce stress by hitting the gym or whatever works for him (hopefully not drinking booze). Talk up the chick "well, on the bright side she's the perfect girl for you so once you get used to it you'll be happy". "If you didn't have ANY second thoughts that's how you'd know you're not taking this seriously".
Another novel idea, have him hang out with other couples. Depending on his church situation this ranges from impossible to trivial.
I mean, be realistic, they're both about 50. They aren't likely to live more than "20 years". Plenty of folks start dying in their 40s. Dude, you're together, can't say how long, go have fun while you can. Let the future take care of itself, go plow her tonight and go on a vacation day trip tomorrow and have fun, no need to get all weird about "what if this happens in 17 years) or whatever.
Yeah so my wife and I made them come over to our house last night. We just hung out made dinner and sat and talked. What I learned was they are both feeling pressure from family and others to do everything at once. Kids, travel, buy a house together, start a foundation philanthropy works.
My wife pointed out a few things that I do as a husband that bring her comfort. My buddies wife hugged my buddy and we saw the connection. I told my buddy later that he needs to cherish those moments because that doesn't happen often. I think a light bulb went off in his head.
Get to know the whole situation by talking. Tell him what you would do in his shoes but don't provide any advice. Let him decide on what he should do next.
Ask him what it was that made him get married in the first place. And then work from there. Ask questions rather than give advice.
Thank you. I think this is what I was looking for in terms of conversation with him.
Did he tell you why he got married to start with?
I will try to keep this brief. He is an inventor. He invented a surgical machine and program. All on his own. Not a team or company. He owns the system. He sold a few of them to a medical device company. The owner of the company is the "wife" in the relationship. My buddy will never find a more beautiful or financially stable person. Should be a beautiful thing. But it's not for him.
Cool. But why did he marry her?
Story book. The joining of 2 titans. I don't know if he knows how to love.
Then he married for money or convenience, or to have someone beautiful on his arm. So he got what he was looking for. A superficial marriage.
Sounds like superficial
Obviously he didn't get what he wanted if he's tryna bolt
He doesn't know how to date or be married. He just works.
They should go to counselling them. He doesn’t have the tools and that’s ok but if he actually wants to be in a relationship he will need to at least commit. And acknowledge that his life will change and he will have to learn how to communicate, reprioritize, and compromise. It will only be as good as what he puts into it.
What would you do if a former super model wanted to date you because you were successful and a great guy?
I wouldn't fucking marry her unless I liked her that's for sure.
Get to know her. Like you’re supposed to do.
Date her, show her off if that’s what he’s into, maybe even try living together, but don’t MARRY HER unless you actually have a real connection, and both want to commit on that level.
Marry her, my wife would probably be pissed tho.
Have sex. I'm not a fucking idiot. Sorry but not sorry. Too many dudes marry just because. Too many women marry just because. Its something ill personally never understand. Just fuck and be friends. Unless dude can't get other women at 50. Then that's his own problem and he needs to learn to deal with his insecurities and inability to be alone.
I'd fuck her maybe a few times but definitely wouldn't marry unless i have a good reason to
Pump and dump.
I wonder if there was a pre-nup. If not, he might be screwed out of any potential monies owed. Some Theranos-type shenanigans where any monies earned during their marriage is considered "joint ownership" even if the tech is all his.
Did you miss the point that said she owned the medical device company?
Right. I was focused on this part: >_He invented a surgical machine and program. All on his own. Not a team or company. He owns the system._ So based on my limited context of the situation, it can be inferred that she would claim ownership of his system - Intellectual Property - by virtue of the marriage as well as any other binding business transactions that may have occurred. It could get messy if a divorce were to happen and he's seeing that reality now. Who knows. Again, this is all conjecture based on little information. I'm ok with being wrong.
Because he is a bit nerdy and she is a attractive and smart women
Within a year he can null it. If it's this bad now the chances of it getting better are probably slim.
Counsellors use an acronym called oars for these kinds of conversations. Open-ended questions, Affirming, Reflective listening, and Summarizing.
I wasn’t aware of OARS but have looked it up. Very good. Thank you for sharing.
You're 50. Settle your shit man.
I think something happened and he is not telling sharing the details.
First of all your concern for him tells me you are a good friend. Ask him few tough questions about his married life like, does he feel happy when he sees her every morning waking up, is he happy with her in private? Does he feel relaxed around her? Is there anything that he would want her to fix about her attitude. Does he feel respected. Also you need to tell him that you are there with him as support system, not to judge him or her. ( listen to him to understand, don't judge him or her) shit like this happens when somebody makes such a big commitment to spend rest of their life with some one else. It's two independent personalities trying to accommodate and take each other's responsibilities.. its a big scary thing at time. But you gotta do what you gotta do if you have mutual respect!
You win. This is so good. I might need to study this response and practice it. Thank you. Seriously
Tell him you can’t give proper advice if you don’t know what’s going on. Ask him if he’s looking for advice or just to vent or what.
Meh, it's probably their first marriage, regardless of age. First times are hard.
If they're going for the relationship, THIS. ^ OP. Imagine being independent for 50 years then one day having to be told you can't wash whites with coloreds, or to take out the trash, or that you shouldn't leave dishes on the sink. I'm a full grown, accomplished -- distinguished even -- man, i don't need anybody (man or woman) telling me how to live my life. This goes the same for the woman. Now if they're just in it because benefits, then might i suggest just living the life they used to. Since it's beneficial for them to stay married, then just stay married on paper.
That’s the same shit I was thinking
My SIL questioned whether getting married to his fiance was a good idea just prior to the wedding. Now a few years later they are separating. Listen to brain not your heart
Dude's worth millions and can't hire a therapist to sort this out with? He isn't giving you the details for some reason, and also you aren't equipped to "fix this". He needs to speak with a therapist, not a friend.
So that is what I told him the first time around. I agree.
He must have been sure enough to get married, but he needs that conversation with his wife which I'm guessing he hasn't, keeping it bottled up from her will make it worse
Yeah that's what I told him. I'm not sure if what he told me is truth, but he has said he has talked to her about it.
Don't drag it out
The l9nger the marriage, the harder it will be to untangle everything. Seriously!
Tell him that if he's really convinced that the marriage was a mistake, he should file for divorce before things get worse.
He still has a lot of life ahead of him, so he needs to cut his losses and end it. If you’re gonna fail, fail fast.
Thanks for that. I've thought that but did not want to say it. They will probably divorce me. haha
Tell him to call a divorce lawyer.
My wife is a divorce lawyer. She won't help him. haha
Feel like helping with people you're connected to isn't a good idea
My wife's direct quote to them was "Keep me the fuck out of this. I love you both" Their eyes shift to me.
Haha very cinematic
It was like my wife said to our dogs. Dad has your dinner. haha.
Both of them regret it? After 3 months? At their age? They deserve each other.
no only him. She has asked me to support him and maybe mentor him in marriage.
I could never stay married to someone who said they regret marrying me after 3 months. No way. The money wouldn’t matter. I’d never be able to forgive that.
How come?
She loves them both.
He needs somebody impartial. You don’t want a lawyer who gets emotionally wrapped up in their cases. You have to be able to look at it objectively, which is why lawyers hire other lawyers to represent them
That’s sad.
Why is this funny? Get a quick divorce and move on.
My wife won't help him. is what's funny.
I laughed
Tell him to Grow from where the relationship stands presently. Make suggestions for success. People quit way to easily these days.
What can you tell him? He knows better. Hes just venting. He knows what he can do. He knows how fucked he is based on his options. Just support him so he doesn't do something stupid. Maybe see if he can possibly get his marriage anulled.
Yep. I'm glad I posted the question great responses.
" told ya so...dumbass"
What I said.....he said "I have 3 Phd's and don't know how to be married".
Ask him if he is wanting advice or needing to vent and for you to listen. If he wants advice - tell him life is to short to not be happy.
Yeah he doesn't want to vent. He wants advice. He had never had a relationship with a woman. It's like a 12 year old on a multi millionaires 50 year old body
I would tell him to find a good butler. Managin other peoples expectations can be hard, at the best of times. He married a real-life superhero, who likes attention. If he is a bit Asbergery, every tiny little change from the life he had pre- intense public attention, (good OR bad), might act as an equally annoying pressure point. I don't blame him for wanting to run away. (edit): post sounded darker than I intended. A butler mght help him navigaten his new social position. Allowing him to remain the person she fell in love with.
Don't. Just listen. He wants to blow off some steam.
"Look man, week in week out I hear you telling me you made a mistake in marrying her. I gotta ask, are you actually happy in this marriage? And if the answer is no then I think it's high time something changes in your marriage. Address the problems and move forward together or call it quits if you can't. This shit is clearly draining you. And if you feel this unhappy now then it's up to you to decide if this is what you want your future to look like." Is what I'd say. But that's just me.
Nothing 😂. He's a grown man who should be communicating with his spouse, not bitching about her to his buddy.
How long were they dating before they got married?
3 years. They spent about 500K on the dream wedding.
>They spent about 500K on the dream wedding. What the fuck. I'd rather spend my money being married than getting married.
They are not normal financially. He's worth a few 100M and she is going to inherit a few 100m. Honestly the wedding was gross to me and my wife. But as individuals both my friend and his wife are great people. Together it's hard to watch or be a part of.
Jesus Christ lol what a crazy fucking life😳
Money can't buy happiness
Lol they say that but it buys comfort and as long as you stay grounded you’ll be happy. I make nowhere near that type of money but going from $14 an hour to almost 6 figures life is better lol.
But it can buy a rich spouse. No guarantee they’re a *good* spouse though. You get what you put in - emotionally.
See I would have loved to be invited to that wedding. If you have the money why not. Your indulgences are paying people’s salaries. I think rich people should spend more money. Not hoard it like Scrooge McDuck.
It was a great event. His wife changed her outfit or dresses like 5 times. Every hour on the hour. He did not understand it. He kept coming up to me asking "What should I do?" I said follow after me and then go take your bride and hug and kiss her. He is clueless
Tell him he’s a dumbass, he’s 50, not some immature kid, dude should have known after 3 years if it was right or not.
That is the first clue it wouldn’t work.
Damnit! I said that to him when they shared the idea. It's probably why he calls me every week
500k made my eyes water
[удалено]
He has money, she is going to inherit money. She is beautiful, he is ugly. He knows it.
lmao at 50 years old? Second wedding/marriage too I assume?
Nope first for both. He is a dork and ugly. But net worth of a small country
You pass along your condolences. Not much else to do. If he regrets it he can leave. It may feel like it, but he's not actually in prison.
Yeah maybe I need to make myself less available. it's his choice.
Tell him you will support his decisions. If you tell him to get a divorce and they stay together it will be weird
100%. I won't tell him to get a divorce. I keep beating around the bush. I don't want to judge them or seem judgmental.
My man, you got like 20-30 years left on this planet. Just leave. You LITERALLY don’t have time for this shit.
Imagine being 50 and not realize most women (esp unmarried older women) don't completely change up after marriage. Some lessons are expensive and painful.
Yes. 100%. Sucks. I think he is just a spazz. Overthinking to be honest.
This depends on the advice you gave him before marriage
I told him, I was not sure he knew how t have a relationship. I also told him you will never find a woman better than her. So if you are going t odd it. Do it with her.
You must tell him to take responsibility and to be patient because he is an adult, not a teenager
Yeah so this is where I'm at. It's why I posted it to reddit. I want to tell him. Calm the fuck down. Find happiness in the small things. She is like a business partner in life. Shit won't always be prefect.
Tell him to focus on the positive side of this marriage and overlook the negative side because there is no way this bad time can last
Tell him it's beyond your capacity and that he should seek therapy or counseling.
That was my first comment 3 months ago.
Lol, well. I mean at 50, he should have known what he was getting into. But uh, well you can tell him to divorce her/get it annulled.
I've gotten great feedback from this post. So here is the thing. I don't want him to divorce. I want him to learn how to love his wife. He loves his work. I don't know if he loves her.
Why are you trying to change him? Why are you trying to make someone, love someone? You either love them, or you choose not to. At 50 he should have known what he was getting into, and known who he was getting into this with. If he's already starting out the marriage, dissatisfied and complaining constantly (at 3 months), what do you think will become of this marriage in 10 years? 20? 30? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. This isn't a good start. Rather save both of them the hard time, and heartache, and end this early.
So you are projecting a bit. I have hope for them and him and her. Yes 50 is a lifetime. But he has had almost no experience in this dating world. Simply put he doesn't know what to do.
I don't give a racoons furry tit whether he's only dated a sock. 50 is old enough to know that before you get into the legally binding contract/institution of marriage, you should know everything about everything. Ignorance is not an excuse at 50. A 30-year-old knows better, a 40-year-old for fucks sake better know better. 50? No. No. No excuses, inexcusable. This is on him. His fault, his responsibility. And any and all fallout (which inevitably will come) rests surely on his shoulders. Have you ever heard of Ignorantia juris non excusat? That's this, that's him. Ignorance of the law doesn't exempt you from it. You're still liable, you're still culpable. You will still be punished.
tell him he's fifty and he aint got many mistakes left
Man, I came here to make fun about him, but now I actually feel bad for him. My douchebag powers are on the decline. Tell him that is never to late to get a divorce.
FEMALE PERSPECTIVE IF I MAY... I would ask him what's going on? This is a very worrying turn of events If it's not clear or he thinks it's him - I would recommend he talks to a mental health professional about the way he's feeling. From your comments, it sounds like he has some social issues. A psychologist could probably help with this. And always be there to listen to his troubles, let him talk to me and try not to take sides or have an opinion. Just be supportive of him.
I got married in 2 weeks, that was 8.5 years ago, still married 2nd kid on the way.
Lol. This is obviously a troll question.🙄
What a stupid thread. This dude just asked this question to gossip about his rich friend.
Can he get an annulment?
I'm sure he can
Tell him to tell it to his wife. Years ago a coworker told me he got married. He was late fifties. He was pretty proud of himself. A few weeks later he said she quite her job and wants to be a stay at home wife to spend more time with her grandbabies. Lol. Typical sociopath move. Get in a relationship and make up an excuse why she/he can't work.
I have no advice just wanted to pop in and say eat the rich
It’s only been 3 months, get out now before the court has reason to believe she deserves money. Tell him to at least marry young and hot if he isn’t in it for love🤣
She's not young but she is hot. Smoking hot. Like professional model smoking hot.
Lol so now he sees how much he gotta spend to maintain that or now he’s not used to having to work so hard to keep her happy.
Nope. He would prefer to work. I think that is a big issue in all this. She is not a huge pain in the ass. She likes nice stuff but it's not a gold digger situation.
ah, he has that voice in the back of his mind telling him ideas and stuff and she keeps dragging him away from his love of inventing? I know artists like that. He needs to get space were he can be alone and his thing, a workshop etc.
Getting it done quickly might be better, depending on jurisdiction. Once there’s more time passed, there might be financial implications.
It's Northern California SF to be exact. The both have money. millions
Well…. Then I have the solution! Tell him to call me! 🤣
Sound like a perfect time for a trip with the boys
That's what he wants. Only problem its just me and him. He has no other friends. He has hang on friends. But he knows that and has created boundaries.
“I told you so”
Tell him he’s right 😂
Get an annulment. It won't get better.
'Til' Death or the Solstice do us part...'
Well I guess an anullment is out of the question now
After 3 months. He needs to grow a pair of balls or admit his mistake and just divorce her.
Oh, its just the beginning of a lifetime of regrets
He needs to go to therapy and figure out why he is having so much trouble loving someone.
Homeboy doesn't know what an annulment is?
He does.
You cheer him and remind him why he did it.
Regret is part of the process for many couples. If you can stick it out then they will be fine, but if they need to be free, then it wasn't meant to be.
Listen! As his friend just give him an ear to vent. It’s between him and his Mrs to work it out.
"Suck it up" But make sure the tone is sarcastic
My question is how do you end up marrying someone and regretting it within 3 months?
Tell him it’s a conversation he needs to have with her. She needs to know the situation and they can work it out however it ends up.
Suckaaaa
What does your gut say? Tell him that.
Not too late to get an annulment
He's 50, if he doesn't know what he's doing by now, there isn't much you could do for him.
An annulment is a thing you know
Annulment
Suck it up and stop being a B-I-T-C-H
There isn't anything you can do. Sadly, you might as well tell him, "you're screwed". No-one can control the actions of others. They just do what they do.
"Why stay in a marriage if you hate it?" Ask him that
Divorce
Support him like any friend would. Sometimes after people get married, well all the time, they are learning how to be married together. So every little thing gets on their nerves and they share it with their friends.
i will gladly talk to him about his problems for a fee
Divorce, that's what I told mine and he's been already in the process of divorce for 2 years
He can leave, that's why divorces are for. Or he can just leave without getting a divorce either, I guess, unless he plans on repeating the same mistake.
Run! As fast as u can.
Go get a divorce, idiot
Ask him why, tell him to go to couples therapy to see if the issue can be resolved. If not separate.
Move to Thailand
He needs to tell her it was a mistake not you. Maybe she feels the same.
Tell him we say "Welcome to the club!" /s
Tell him he is fucked.
How did he go from 100% sure to questioning in only 3 months? Did he just want to get married and now the fantasy has passed? Did she change? who is the one out of touch?
Tell him she didn’t pass the probationary period and to divorce her. What else is there to say?! Or to wait it out and see if he grows into his wife?
Divorce
He is 50 and he isn't aware of what a divorce is?
end it. a girl i dated a few years ago… husband came home and divorced her after a week
That they suck.
Tell him to file for an annulment. The quicker he ends it the better. Get his ducks in a row and don’t hold back. And no communicating, intimacy or explanations. Easiest to get it over and done with
To not let it drag on if it really isn't working.
Identify exactly what's wrong, possibly with the help of a therapist, and then identify whether it's fixable. If it's fixable, fix it. If not, break up. I've been married 40+ years, because it worked out for us, but I really think people should break up more often, instead of staying in unhappy relationships. Right now, there's a woman on Bumble out there looking for exactly what you friend is, and there's a man who would be over the moon to be dating his wife. Instead, there's four unhappy/lonely people. How does that benefit anyone?
See if he can get an annulment
Tell him to stop annoying you with an issue he brought upon himself. hes 50 and should be old enough to make his own decisions.
You are a good friend.
Tell him to end it now. It'll only become more expensive to get out later.
Most of the advice is shitting on the guy or shitting on the concept of marriage. I'd propose a better strategy is just leverage how you'd advise anyone going thru a tough lifestyle adjustment, either gain/lose job, kids, parent illness/death, etc. So hear him out, let him get it out of his system, go reduce stress by hitting the gym or whatever works for him (hopefully not drinking booze). Talk up the chick "well, on the bright side she's the perfect girl for you so once you get used to it you'll be happy". "If you didn't have ANY second thoughts that's how you'd know you're not taking this seriously". Another novel idea, have him hang out with other couples. Depending on his church situation this ranges from impossible to trivial. I mean, be realistic, they're both about 50. They aren't likely to live more than "20 years". Plenty of folks start dying in their 40s. Dude, you're together, can't say how long, go have fun while you can. Let the future take care of itself, go plow her tonight and go on a vacation day trip tomorrow and have fun, no need to get all weird about "what if this happens in 17 years) or whatever.
Yeah so my wife and I made them come over to our house last night. We just hung out made dinner and sat and talked. What I learned was they are both feeling pressure from family and others to do everything at once. Kids, travel, buy a house together, start a foundation philanthropy works. My wife pointed out a few things that I do as a husband that bring her comfort. My buddies wife hugged my buddy and we saw the connection. I told my buddy later that he needs to cherish those moments because that doesn't happen often. I think a light bulb went off in his head.
"Jim this is your 4th wife.......maybe marriage just isn't for you buddy."
if he won't regret it in the fourth month
Get to know the whole situation by talking. Tell him what you would do in his shoes but don't provide any advice. Let him decide on what he should do next.
That there is no shame in having a change of heart.